Why This Chick Loves Hockey

Whenever I tell someone that my favorite sport to watch and breathe is hockey, the looks I get could make for a great meme. But when I tell everyone that mine dream job back when I graduated high school was to be a hockey writer, that look, could make for an awesome GIF. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. The stereotype that women are only interested in sports for the hot dudes, is old. I could tell you that I love the action and adrenaline of the greatest sport on earth. I could tell you that I love the fact that hockey players are the most genuine athletes and are hard core, bad asses. I could tell you that I love all that and more, but still most would still think that all I am is a “puck bunny.”

When you love a sport that is dominated by males, sometimes it’s hard to get your point across. So for the guy hockey fan who keeps calling women “puck bunnies” let me point out with all-over protective shields/padding, helmets and face guards, your average female fan isn’t coming to games to drool over the players as their reason for the love of the game. The only thing clearly on display during a game is the player’s skills, abilities and their character. Yes, as a female I will admit that some dudes that play this game are indeed something to look at, especially in their suits they wear entering the arenas, but to say that is what is drawing females to the game is in plain English; sexist.

The skill and my pure jealousy of just how well the players can ice skate, forwards, backwards, sideways all while holding a hockey stick which they need to have hand/eye coordination with, is what drew me to the game in the first place. Then of course there are the fights and the hits. Um, hello, it’s the don’t mess with me attitude that I love. Hockey is the ONLY sport where an athlete will put his team before himself; especially in the playoffs, and play while he is injured. Tell me that an NFL, NBA or MLB player ever really has done that? Seriously, they hurt their finger and it’s out 2-4 weeks.

Also with hockey no two games are ever the same, even if the score winds up that way. I like how I can sit through sixty minutes of play, an hour worth of intermission reports, an OT and a shootout and somehow find myself more engaged the longer I spend sitting in front of the T.V! And with playoff hockey my heart in beating in my throat with sudden death OT ( Game seven of the Rangers vs Pens series, holy Moses!)
Watching a hockey game in person is just the best experience ever on this planet. Especially if it is at Madison Square Garden watching my favorite team, The New York Rangers. And if some think the regular season is fun, the playoffs at MSG; cannot be topped at any other arena. If you ever want that Oh. My. God feeling…. you come to a playoff game at MSG.

No other sport can match up to hockey. Football takes a 40 second break after every play. The last 20 seconds of a basketball game could take 15 minutes with all the timeouts, and baseball, we all know that baseball is slow. ( Especially watching it on TV) All people need to do is watch one game of hockey or hangout with some true hockey fans, and I believe that they will understand why hockey is the most exciting sport to watch. Oh, and if I forgot to mention, hockey players engage with the fans of the game. You see players talking to fans, giving them pucks, sticks, and even encouraging kids who are sick to keep fighting. These guys will give the shirt off their back to the fans, you don’t see that in any other sport!

So to those who think women only love the sport of hockey for the men who play it; yeah we do.( insert my sarcasm here) The men who play hockey are the toughest guys on the planet and they don’t need to post pictures on their social media of them being buff or working out for us to know that they are tough. We know that they are tough simply by watching the game we love and be amazed at their talent, skill and mental/physical toughness.

Listen to my special podcast episode Game 5 preview here

Friends, Benefits, Lovers: The Vicious Cycle

Why does it seem that women use sex as a tool/reward/weapon in relationships to get what they want, in order to get their way while men do just the opposite?

(Some) men use love as bait to get sex from women, while (some) women use sex as bait to get love from men. Go figure, right? And they somehow think that this is a “relationship.” Yes, I have heard the term, “Friends with Benefits,” but I can tell you that just because there is a term, it’s not actually what is happening.

Every “friends with benefits” relationship that I have heard about, has always ended on a sour note. Women process sex through emotions while men process it through the physical aspect. Mostly, they go “through the motions” especially when it’s with someone they are not emotionally connected too. This is where that whole game of giving the other person what he/she wants, never ends up turning into what we planned in the first place.

Look at how some women try to get attention these days and the poor saps that fall for it hook, line and sinker.

You have women who dress sexy to get attention and when you point it out they say something stupid like, “I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to look good,” but they are total hypocrites because they only dress that way when they are purposely trying to get a guy’s attention. Yes, confidence is important if you want to succeed in life. And its important to feel good about one self, but it is necessary to dress or limit what you wear just to get attention? They dress in revealing clothing, then get upset when their objective is met…men/women staring at them. Give me a break! And you see all the selfies on social media with women who are HALF-naked and all the men’s comments underneath it… please STOP.

It gets annoying because some of us actually don’t want to be looked at as a sex object. Some of us females wants to be able to dress nice or wear that mini skirt because its the style, we like the designer or we want to wear it just because.

There’s a BIG difference between classy and trashy that most females today forget.

Then there are the men and athletes who are insecure, hungry for attention, want their egos boosted every chance in hell they get, so they use something that is precious to a female, love, to bait them into giving them what they truly want: sex.

Some men actually think that it’s okay if they use a woman to gain whatever it is from them. So they “fake” the relationship up to the point where you give in to their sexual advances and of a sudden that guy is “history.” GUYS: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!

It’s important for me to note that NOT ALL men and women are this way. But you will always have a case of a girl who is an attention-whore and in that case the guy who falls for her crap. Now, I have used the term “gold-digger” before and I will tell you athletes this: If a woman/girl is dressing in a certain way to get your attention and that is how she gets your attention, that is a red flag. A woman who enjoys your company, who makes you a better person, wants you to be successful, and makes you feel like you are on top of the world, and does not expect you to buy her expensive shit; that woman, is not a gold digger and I bet you met her when she was “clothed” – that’s the difference.

I don’t think its right for anyone, male or female, to lure a person into believing that they like them to the point where they feel there are having a relationship, when in reality they are just using them. Relationships take time and they are hard to find in this world. Where as today, so many people treat others like they’re as disposable as diapers.

So how can you tell when a guy or girl is actually interested in you- for you and not just as part of a conquering list? (Remember how in my last blog post, I told you that NFL players think it’s a flex to be with many girls?)

The easiest answer to that question is this; Every once in awhile, someone comes along that makes you realize-it is worth it. The best relationships happen unexpectedly. We never realize the power of a single human being until one comes along and conquers our heart. When you force yourself to fall in love or be with someone you are setting up yourself to fall and to fall short of the relationship you deserve. A “Friends with benefits’ relationship is telling you that you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to invest feelings in. Real love is knowing someone’s weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

Remember, a good relationship is worth the wait.

Relationship Impossible available now as a paperback and ebook on Amazon.

Guys, Stop Doing This When Dating

The following videos will give you some context as to what I am talking about but I as always will list things that guys do that are complete turn offs in the dating world. And even athletes of every sport does this more so NFL players… ( Updated below – which athlete would I date? )

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If you didn’t take a quick look at the videos I posted in this blog, go ahead and look at them and then come back to read the following. Here is a list of what guys do that turn off women ( notice I didn’t say girls) when they are interested in someone and / or want to date them.

  1. Being ghosted or ignored. One of the key ways most women judge how important they are to their partner is by how much attention they get from him. IF all you are going to do is ONLY contact her WHEN you want something from her, and you aren’t going to pay any attention to her at any other time- that’s a turn off.
  2. Guys worry more about their swagger. Men who talk a big game but can’t follow through don’t rank high on the attractive meter either. We don’t need to see you root for our favorite team, or show us photos of you working out and all that muscle, when the truth is, we don’t want the guy with the biggest and the best of everything. And we don’t want a guy to “fake” it either.
  3. Dating numerous women at one time. Simply put, women like men who are respectful enough to pretend they don’t notice other women (even when they do). Not following all the bikini girls on social media is also a plus I might add.
  4. Poor grooming habits. While sweaty athletes may initially turn a woman on, getting closer to the body odors that accompany them is another story. Most men want women to keep up with their appearance, so it’s fair to say that women don’t want men with pot bellies, dirty fingernails, rumpled clothes and disheveled hair, okay?
  5. Finally, Pick up lines. Why guys STILL use these is a mystery to me. A sense of humor and being sarcastic is one thing, but using these corny and somewhat offensive pick up lines… turns a woman completely off. Remember, playing games is a complete turn off. Just be your authentic self. Either you want to date her or you don’t, we don’t have time for fun and games.

Here is a list of what guys do WHILE they are dating a woman that is a turn off:

  1. They complain that their girlfriends need to lose weight.
    This here is what we call a dick move. Why are you with this person if you don’t already find them sexually desirable? Is your desire based entirely on appearance? Is your relationship based entirely on sexual desire? Or are you talking about this because you’re concerned about what other people think of your partner? If so, you’re shallow. As is Marlon Humphrey on the Ravens. (He tweeted ” How do you ask your GF to lose weight?” I can tell you that he’s not the ONLY NFL player that cares more about a woman’s looks than anything else…
    By the way, this is when a guy treats his girlfriend as a toy. If your toy isn’t making you happy anymore, do her a favor and get a new one so it can move on to someone who will treat her like a human being and want an actual relationship. Not someone who only wants a Barbie doll.
  2. Being lazy and relying on your girlfriend to always make the plans. The minute she starts to think, ” Why I am going to all this trouble,” is the moment that your relationship is sinking. For me, a guy should be equal in planning what we are doing, it should not always be up to me to decide.
  3. Even though you are dating, Being touched without consent is a turn off for women, I can guarantee it. Yes, there are times when we want to cuddle, want to touch you, want you to touch us, but knowing that line is the most important. For example, during our periods, we want to me left alone.
  4. Being overly cocky and close-minded. If you shut her down when she argues your point, it is not a good look. I dated a guy once who was too into me. I know it sounds conceited, but he was. He would constantly throw compliments my way and act like we were married. Learn some humility, and you might have a shot. Stick to being pompous and you’ll be a turn off for women everywhere.
  5. Not giving space- being too needy. Dating works when BOTH parties are ALLOWED to have THEIR lives and YOUR life together. You can’t be together 24/7- you need to have a little breathing room. Guys should be able to hang with their friends, girls should be able to hang with theirs, and everyone needs time alone. This is how you make the relationship work. Even married people need to have their own lives! You have to find the balance of the relationship, if you don’t you will end up alone.

*** As I stated in my recent podcast in a heartbeat I would date Ryan Lindgren of The NY Rangers. Why? His Character. Right now he is showing how he puts his teammates ahead of himself and he is playing in pain. The fact that he makes Adam Fox better and he makes the team play better. The fact that he has played with heart and soul, is down right attractive. Now, I’m not a chick who likes a big beard, but yes, Ryan is one hell of a sexy beast. But what makes him sexy isn’t his eyes, looks, no… it’s his character and there are SO many athletes that don’t show this at all. I wish we could clone him.
So see guys, it isn’t the amount of muscle you have, money you have or the amount of swagger you have that is what we want in a guy, we want a great character guy. One that shows exactly what Ryan is showing now and has all season long. And that is something that you can’t buy. ***

NFL athletes, dating, and mamma’s boys….

It’s an exciting time for a college athlete when they are drafted by an NFL team. Their dream of playing in the NFL is now coming to life. During this year’s past NFL draft we saw many guys that had their dreams come true and we also saw some guys get drafted by their hometown teams. Imagine not only getting drafted but also getting drafted by the team you rooted for or the team in the same state as your college! That must feel surreal.

But there has to come a point when their moms realize that their “little boys” are no longer seen as “little boys” and that they are seen as men. Last year’s draft pick Zach Wilson of the Jets has a wonderful relationship with his mom, he does, but this past weekend he was going to surprise her and fly home form Mother’s Day but she was in Florida with I would assume, her daughter’s All-Star Cheerleading team. I mean, hey, if that doesn’t tell you that he appreciates his mom, nothing will. But here’s my problem:

Check out what she wrote in her IG story:

Notice that she said, “My cute Zach…” Um, okay, Mrs. Wilson, he’s not 5 anymore, he’s WAY more than five…. calling him “cute” is okay when he was younger but he’s a GROWN man who plays in the NFL… calling him cute makes he look like a mamma’s boy and trust me, no guy in the NFL wants to be teased for that. Yes, he loves you, but he’s a man. Calling him cute on a public forum as he’s mom…. (insert not amused emoji)

Which brings me to the dating topic of conversation. Actually, it’s two-parts.
1) Guys that are “supposed” to be seen as tough guys, ya know, the ones in the NFL, can not be seen as mamma’s boys. Period. Yes, it is a sweet gesture to see them buy their moms houses, cars, etc, but that’s where the line is drawn. Should it be? That’s a different question, buy guys are picked on in the locker room about lots of things. Zach has come off as a guy that looks uncomfortable when his team mates are doing stupid high school shit, (AKA crushing up beer cans on your forehead, or the latest stupid video of the guys who were drafted last year videoing a message to the rookies – which really looked high school-ish.) Not only does he look uncomfortable doing some of those type things, and seriously who wouldn’t, but he looks uncomfortable at the podium talking to the press at times. Now would be a great time to tell you all that girls/women DO NOT WANT to DATE a mamma’s boy- EVER! We don’t want to have to have our relationship be interfered with due to him trying to please his mom over us. Also, we ain’t going to do all the mom shit for you either, in case you were wondering.

2) As I talk about dating, if you missed my podcast last week… The recordings of a fan girl #sarcasm I brought up the fact that when a guy/girl gets dumped they are the ones who go to gym to get a “new body” as a revenge to the person who dumped them. It’s not secret that Zach broke up with his girlfriend, Abbey. Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that after they broke up he started getting ripped.
Here’s the picture of him now:

Of course most of the Jets fans are making a big deal of this but seriously, the only reason he looks like this is because his girlfriend broke up with him. She stills looks the same FYI. AND whenever ANYONE says that the break up was “mutual,” trust me, it wasn’t. One party decided that they wanted to break up, and the other party just went along with it. The worse thing to EVER do is to go back to an Ex. Seriously, they call them ex’s for a reason.

One more thing about NFL players and seeing these guys do these intense diets and workouts. If you notice about the NFL 15 years ago, guys weren’t obsessed the same way they are now. And if you notice, guys 15 years ago didn’t get hurt as much as they do now simply because they did not fuel their bodies with only protein, which is the worst thing to do! I have a client who has a protein diet and with that diet they are told NOT to workout that much. Yes, you read that correctly. These guys work out like I have never seen, out all these protein / whey powders in their bodies… and then get hurt. Seriously, it is something to think about since their careers are not a given when it comes to injuries. Finally, let me say this about NFL players “claiming” that they treat their bodies like a temple. If that were true, they wouldn’t use tinder or any other dating app, and put STD’s in their bodies by having unprotected one night stands. And even with a condom… why would you waste that energy on someone who doesn’t matter to you and who isn’t meant to be in your life? If you gonna use Twitter to preach it, y’all better be living it.

Here’s my TIKTOK link: Come on by and follow me.
Here’s my YOUTUBE link: Come on by and subscribe so you can watch my show: The Recordings of a fan girl #sarcasm

Stay Sassy

This is an unusual blog post of Stephanie’s Sassy Corner…

I’m not going to be giving you advice on dating, on social media or even give you my 2 cents about football, or whatever else I throw into the fire. You see I have spent the past fifteen years becoming a expert in helping you understand how dating apps are only good at creating nightmares in your life, how social media has transformed business and of course you have my view on just about everything sports related ( mostly football)… I wanted to give you something that was different and out of the box. But now I see that as a broadcaster (that is what a content creator/podcaster is on social media) that we shouldn’t always be doing things that are trending but to do things that are valuable and post content that is REAL, RELEVANT and RELATABLE!
I have always been my real, sassy, blunt self on each and every podcast and blog piece that I have written, but now with that said, I am rebranding and refocusing my content so it stands for something that has clarity around my identity, narrative and purpose. Not only will I also stay real, relevant and relatable, but I will do it in a much different way.

I realize that even though I enjoy my podcasts, writing my blogs and social media posts, there was nothing from that they brought me instant joy. From now on, I want to live and enjoy every moment when I do my shows and write my blog posts and even do social media. I don’t want to waste time just doing it for the sake of doing it. So I will still talk about dating, dating apps, social media and of course NFL Football, it will be done in much different way!

Sassy Nation will still be the same day, Tuesdays and it will still be an audio only podcast.
The Sassy Show which is presented my Rockland World Radio which I have done live streamed on Facebook, will be moving to Youtube every other week on a Thursday.
The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm will now be an online entertainment show WITH video each week on Fridays. I will have some audio after show comments that will be just for subscribers.

And the Playing with the Boys podcast, will be a Twitter Space on Wednesday Afternoons.

I hope you will join me on my platforms and the way I do them change this week.
I no longer will be on Instagram – you can follow me on the following:

Twitter
Tiktok
Pinterest
Nextdoor ( which is the local page only )
LinkedIn
Youtube

Mark Zuckerberg, Adam Mosseri and Tim Cook are all liars!

IF you have a business and you use Facebook and Instagram to market them I am telling you that you are RISKING losing your business to hackers.

This week ALONE I know about a dozen people including myself that was hacked and my IG account is STILL hijacked. No matter HOW many times you do a video selfie they don’t work to confirm identity, and they have NO – NONE live customer support so the hackers are able to STAY on the app for a LONG time and keep hacking accounts.

Your Business is your CASTLE – why are we giving Facebook and Instagram the KEYS to it when they are NOT protecting us?

See, they MAKE you think that you NEED them, when YOU DON’T. Yes, you may get “clients” from them, but no matter HOW strong your passwords are, 2 factor is, hackers find a way AROUND THEM! Are you really willing to RISK Losing it all for a “few clients” when you can use OTHER platforms that care about your small business AND have CUSTOMER service support when you need it?

Please Share this post and spread the word. Let’s PROTECT our neighbors…. not allow Facebook and Instagram to take away folks livelihoods because all they truly care about are corporations, celebrities, and athletes using their platforms.

You are fooling yourself if you think that they care about the “little people” who make up their platforms.

I am hoping to get my IG account back this week. BUT I will NEVER be using Facebook and Instagram for BUSINESS again. I have already deleted business pages and my shop on IG.

There are SO MANY platforms that you can use that are BETTER, SAFER and WORK.

Here are my links:

TIKTOK

PINTEREST

NEXTDOOR

YOUTUBE

Oh and Apple, the fact that someone stole the information for my APPLE ID and used it to hack into my phone and then IG…. means Apple is not as safe as you think either.
ADVICE: Change passwords, emails, and stay on top of things. Don’t fall into a false sense of security with devices and platforms.

For Sale: A Little Black Dress

In 2022 we all still having dating backwards and confused about “rules” we each have to follow. Men are told that they are the hunters and that they have to hunt based on superficial things. While women are seen as pieces of meat and can’t be aggressive, independent or self-sufficient. Women “need” a man, they can not just “want” a man.
Men can’t call or text a girl he likes after the first date for about three days, because that will make him seems “overzealous” and “too interested,” (God forbid he seems interested in her!) Also, a man needs to use a lame pick up line in order to start a damn freaking conversation, because they ain’t built that way! Heaven Forbid they have a regular conversation with a girl and then at the end of the conversation, give her his number!? Women can not make the first move, because that is a “man’s” job and she can not me too independent because the man is suppose to “provide” for her.
This here lies the problem: Why are folks so freaking caught up in “rules” and looking to Tiktok and Instagram for “dating advice” when the answer is seriously easy?

I’m going to give you the secret to why all the good women are still single and how a guy screws this up time and time again. Ready for the secret? Okay.

If guys would seriously STOP with their unrealistic view that women have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, y’all wouldn’t be single today. First off, the difference between a woman who acts fake and is real is so easy to tell – too bad most men are illiterate and can’t read. If a woman ONLY cares about how much money you spend on her on a date, where you take her, if you buy her gifts (or don’t) then she is NOT into you for the RIGHT reason. But if a woman enjoys your company, wants to have light conversations with you, doesn’t expect you to pay for EVERYTHING and is her goofy self right off the bat, then that is who she REALLY is and you should EMBRACE that!

The problem with guys is that they want to girl who “needs” them, not the girl who “wants” them and yeah, there is a BIG difference. Men who think it’s there “duty” to take care of her with everything, almost all the time choose the wrong partner while the man who chooses the girl who wants him, supports him and appreciates him is not the girl chosen half the time. Men who treat women as pieces of meat are the guys who are out there that complain about women. Women complain about men and their attitudes and the fact that they think they are the prey and can’t go after a guy or have to be a with a guy who is going to “take care of her” –

Women today don’t need a man to take care of them – we need a man who is going to just be himself, support us, as we support him, cheer him on, as he cheers us on, and just love being with us – period.

I’m so tired of having to pretend to be “needy” and need a hero to save me when in fact I’m my own hero, I can save myself. That shouldn’t be something that a man should be intimidated with, but instead celebrate. At the end of the day, we girls just want to be looked at as real people, not the ones who need the little black dress to seduce you into thinking that we are a fantasy, but that no matter if we are a size 2 or a size 12, have blonde hair or black hair, if we have a big butt or a small one, we are worth it and valued for our character and our personality. Looks fade, but that other shit lasts forever. If you want that woman who is going to love you regardless, and who is going to treat you right, then start focusing on what really matters. I am sure then you will find yourself a girl that a keeper.

Break… Break.. down

For my first installment of “Playing With The Boys” Football podcast, blog and book, I am breaking down the QBs from last season. If you want to watch the Reels I posted here are the 2 links for Zach Wilson and Daniel Jones.

The First Podcast edition will be April 27th, the day before the draft. Subscribe Here.

Now the break down of Zach Wilson and Daniel Jones. Here are a few observations to note: 1) Daniel Jones’ OC is better at showcasing his strengths than Zach’s OC and 2) Zach needs to work on the slant and short passes more while Jones needs to work on ball security ( it’s the complete opposite for each QB)

Observations On Zach Wilson:

Everyone was saying that he had a tendency to hold the ball too long before throwing.

His ball placement at the short, intermediate and deep levels was all over the place. In other words, many of the passes he threw were too high, too low or not easily catchable.

My observations were that the OC was not showcasing his strengths and also creating schemes that could work (as highlighted in the film)

Zach Wilson also did not have great pass protection on many occasions therefore could not have executed plays and therefore held on the ball trying to execute something when in fact he could have thrown more slants, more quick passes and had a few QB power/naked/ sweep and in/out instead of a lot of rollout throwbacks.

His ceiling is high and he has a great chance at jumping up as a premier QB in 2022 as long as everything falls into place.

Observations for Daniel Jones:

Daniel Jones can throw receivers open, can push the ball downfield, throws a good deep ball and has more mobility than many realize. He did pretty damn well with no real offensive line, no consistent receivers and he did go down in his total of fumbles from 18 to 11. He also stands his ground in the pocket and beats the blitz with the slant route/post skinny. He needs pass protection and add an elite WR / TE- Give him a full year with Barkley who is more than just a RB and the rookie WR Toney- he can make his mark as a good QB.

Is Every Body Really Beautiful?

Having a healthy body image means that a person accepts the way they look without trying to change their body to fit what they think they should look like since society portrays “what we should look like and be” in order to be accepted. This attitude is very dangerous because the greater our discontent with how we measure up when compared to what society tells us we “should” look like, the more negative our body image, and the greater the risk for extreme behaviors.

When you are talking about weight and women, you cannot wage war on obesity without waging war on the people who live in those “obese” bodies. No one should be bullied for their weight or food choices, but ‘fat pride’ promotes dangerous weight levels. And while shopping at Target, yet once again, I came across a T-shirt that said, “Every Body Is Beautiful” – and I found myself saying, “No,” out loud. Empowering women of non-Barbie proportions to feel good about themselves, is one thing. But suggesting that being a size 30 is just as healthy as being a size 12 isn’t a body-positive message either – it’s an irresponsible lie. And what is worse is the fact that these women are being used in the industry to sell products, clothes, and food designed to “celebrate” their non-skinny bodies.

Think about this for a second: smoking is an addiction that many struggle to control, as is weight, but we don’t celebrate it with social media campaigns about smoking pride the same as they do with “fat pride.” While what you do with your own body is your own business, actively encouraging unhealthy lifestyle choices and denying health risks with being obese on social media isn’t promoting body positivity, it’s the stepping stones to having an eating disorder. This idea that you are “fat but fit” is just a social media campaign that promotes being unhealthy all for a good buck.

Now, as I don’t agree that every woman needs to be a size 2 to be accepted, I think the main focus of society shouldn’t be the outer shell we are in, but rather who we are as people. The saying is true, “Looks fade, but personality and who you are is forever.”

When it comes to weight and women, it really is a catch 22: damned if you are skinny, and damned if you overweight and then talk about it all. Why can’t we just be allowed to celebrate WHO we are, not WHAT we look like? Remember, we create a legacy for ourselves. Do you want to be remembered on how you looked, or on your character?

Woman Gets Duped On A Dating App

Am I supposed to be shocked at this headline? It’s 2022 and women STILL haven’t learned how toxic, full of scams, and sexually-hungry dating apps are?

The story goes like this: A young woman thought she had met someone so incredibly special and talked online for many months and have fallen in love with him. So the next step is naturally to meet in person. She packed up her life and moved to Singapore to be with him and when she got there; she got the shock of her life: He was married! I though, am not shocked. This type of story happens A LOT!
Studies suggest that dating apps can make people feel more insecure about their appearance and bodies – and even become depressed. Studies have shown that the same areas of the brain that become activated when we experience physical pain are also activated when we experience rejection. Dating apps have turned dating into an “addictive game.” It’s now considered shopping for humans with the swipe of a thumb.

We bench (put a potential partner on hold in case we find someone better), breadcrumb (lead someone on), and ghost (use a fake profile to spy on their Instagram stories) which can seriously make someone want to vomit at the thought of dating. People have start realizing that dating apps are not for real connections, but for quickie ones. Dating apps are the drug that helps the boost the ego quickly and there we have created another narcissistic human thinking that as long as we get “high” on love we’re good.

Is it finally time to go back to finding love the old-fashioned way or can we still use technology as a way to build those connections we so badly want to build?

We’ve spent the best part of two years stuck behind screens which were steered by algorithms, so taking matters into our own hands feels exciting. That does not mean that we need to disembark technology all together. Social media is a great place to meet people of all backgrounds, yet is is still misused and most don’t understand how to use it in a positive way. When you have more conversation with the same person over and over again you start to build trust. Trust then build a relationship. You never know what you can learn about someone through conversation. I’m not saying that you should look at social media as a “dating pool” but in terms of finding people in which you have similar likes and views, it’s a great start if you still want to use technology to get to know people you otherwise probably wouldn’t meet in the real world. I still believe that meeting people and talking to people is the best way to know if that person is “the one” for you. The old saying is 100% true’ “Never judge a book by its cover.” And on social media and dating apps, you have to always remember, sometimes people cover up who they truly are, that’s why it’s best to get to know someone, meet them, talk with them; and let your gut intuition tell you if they are for real or not. You can’t tell that over text. You can’t tell that on a post or an app. At the end of the day, a relationship will not last if the couple doesn’t share a mutual bond on every level, including as individuals. Feeling your partner was committed to the relationship for the long haul and how appreciative you are of your mate were the largest predictors of relationship satisfaction.

And remember, it’s never a good idea to settle for someone who doesn’t provide the level of affection and passion that you want – no matter what that is. Relationships are not about playing games. They’re about mature and honest communication; don’t be afraid to have one.