When Fiction Becomes Non Fiction

Here I am, trying to change the culture of the #NHL AND get a written policy protecting women of sexual assault/domestic abuse and these authors continue to use hockey players in their plots. AND then expose its graphic content to actual hockey players which makes it seem okay.
There are 4 books “Ice Breaker,” “Collide,” “Cocky Score,” and, “Unsteady” that recently got my attention.
So, since the authors of these books did not do their research, let me enlighten folks for a moment. I don’t want to her well these ladies “just wrote a story,” that is gaslighting and then deferring responsibility and accountability. That is also saying that what I am doing is not valid. Writing a book and using a hockey player in the way they have in their books, makes it ten times harder to try and change the culture let alone try and get a written policy because no one sees or thinks what they are doing isn’t right. For example, In “Ice Breaker,” women want to read about romance, they want to be swept up so to speak, but what they actually find that all the sex starts to get in the way of the romance as it becomes more and more gratuitous, and THAT is part of the HOCKEY CULTURE! Safe to say I am not happy with this representation and the ideas it gives hockey players, let alone women.
Then of course, “Cocky Score,” which the title ALONE yells HOCKEY CULTURE! the female character is ridiculously shy and quiet; the male character is stoic and overly confident. Why do we think this type of romance novel is STILL okay?
In “Collide,” there was barely any hockey but this was a friends with benefits type romance which, doesn’t send a great message to women and sends the wrong message to men. In the book, “Unsteady,” the spicy scenes were not pleasant, i found myself cringing a lot while reading them and all I could think about was how unpleasant it must have been for that women who was raped by the World’s Junior Team. This comes off as a gentle romance between two people who are floundering in bad relationships and need to find real love- something that hockey culture can relate too, is the fact that the men of the NHL put themselves in “bad relationships” only to think cheating is the way to solve them.

What do these books have to do with the NHL?

These books portray women in a bad light and justify a hockey players actions they take. Now, there is no rape, sexual abuse, or domestic violence in these books, but the fact that they all portray hockey players as hypermasculine and using sexual relationships as a way of saying that is “romantic” is obscene. SEX has NOTHING to do with ROMANCE. We need to STOP having even female characters of novels put into uncomfortable situations and that it’s okay to sexualize women, especially in hockey.

In the NHL, you have women who get sexually harassed either by being a fan or even working in the league, which is highly male-dominated. Did you know that the front office of the NY Rangers, is only 6% female and that there were NO females that were on the draft floor this past June- as for MANY teams in the NHL. And just recently the Seattle Kraken hired Jessica Campbell, as an asst coach which sent social media into a sexism frenzy?

This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!

Not only am I talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence,, which has occurred within the NHL. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia. Let me also add that there is a HIGH number of hockey players who cheat on their wives/girlfriends by having a second phone with a different number and using trainers/staff to hide it. So when we are ready a “love story” as in the book Unsteady, take it with a grain a salt.
In the book, “Ice Breaker” the question is asked, “She could never like a hockey player, right? ” These books portray a “Steamy Hockey Romance,” but what these authors don’t get is this:

An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”

THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.

If authors intend to use hockey players as the main characters for their books, can they learn to separate sex from romance and can the women NOT be reduced to mere love interests for the male protagonists and nothing more?

Being Released This Fall

The Book That Gary Bettman and company doesn’t want me to write.

This book will be written in 2 parts.

The first part will be my creativity in motion. Athletes from some NHL teams will know or maybe will know that it is about them.

Part 2 is the story of the NHL from a Female Perspective

IF you follow me on Tiktok, Twitter X, or Youtube, hints will be posted for part 1.


Men, The Bear, Bumble And Harrison Butker

I wasn’t playing on writing a blog like this, but seeing how the landscape has been against women even more than it has been as of late, I had to put my thoughts into words.

For starters, if you are not on Tiktok then you missed a lot.

There was this dude who seriously looks like the guy who secretly films women getting dressed in the changing room at a department store, started us off, by telling us that men don’t have to accept women’s rejection : AKA he told men that is OKAY to RAPE them. I highly doubt that he is a “dating coach” which in itself is creepy. But what sane “coach” would tell men that women are forbidden to reject him? My thinking is that this guy never had a date back in high school and/or the head cheerleader rejected him and he is so scarred by that, he has hateful views now towards all women.

If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a guy who put out the question, if women were in a forest would they want to be in a forest alone with a MAN OR A BEAR? He was not asking which one women would choose, technically, but it took off on Tiktok and women every where were answering the bear. You can imagine how much this triggered guys EVERYWHERE!

The men, oh sorry, the boys that were triggered proved over and over WHY women preferred to be alone with a bear instead of a man. When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them. And if we look at the culture that is being thrown at women today, I think it is safe to say, this is why women would choose a bear.

Here are some reasons why women choose the bear in case men are still confused:
A- No one would question us about what I was wearing, why I was wearing what I was wearing, and If what I was wearing was to lead on any man to believe I wanted sex.
B- A Bear would not film it and send it to his friends and post it online.
C- No one will question if the bear attacked really happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the saying, “Innocent until proven guilty.”

By the way, there’s a reason women are warned not to hike or camp alone, and it’s not because of bears.

1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. RAINN ( Rape Abuse, Incest Network) says on average, there are nearly 450,000 victims of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States. According to North America Bear Center- black bears – the most common bear in the United States – kill less than one person per year. On average, 28 people in the United States die each year from lightning strikes, according to all U.S. lightning deaths reported from 2006 through 2021

So, when women are saying that they FEEL SAFER in the FOREST/WOODS alone with a bear than with a strange man, and men, instead of trying to make things BETTER for women, are triggered by it and instead of trying to say, “Men should not rape, men should not act like pigs when it comes to women,” They are trying to gaslight, manipulate and force women to feel crazy and stupid for saying a bear. Then you hear guys ask the question why women who are abused and assaulted never come forward or come forward years later:

As many as 90% of those survivors never report their abuse to law enforcement, and more than 30% will never report their abuse to anyone (National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children).

What Happens To Rapists When They Are Caught And Reported?

  • 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years.  Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison.  Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail.
  • If a rape is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
  • If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
  • If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of conviction.
  • If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
  • So even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.

Not only are we talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia.

An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”

THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.

So, when a FEMALE, wants to have NHL PLAYERS on a podcast – you are rejected AUTOMATICALLY.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to develop friendships with hockey players, THEY NEED TO BE CERTAIN WOMEN –
Beyond sexist barriers within the sport, there are misogynist ideas engrained that position women as objects and conquests within hockey culture- That is why you ONLY SEE WOMEN WHO 1- ACCEPT BARE MINIMUM, 2- WILL NOT OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT HOW OTHER WOMEN ARE TREATED, AND 3- WHO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!
Misogyny was undeniably evidenced in the alleged gang-sexual assault committed by members of Canada’s 2018 World Junior team, in the subsequent cover-up, and in the revelation that Hockey Canada had a fund that was used consistently and covertly to protect players.
The deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny within hockey culture contribute to these brutal acts of dehumanization. Yet, these connections remain unrecognizable because people are unable to confront the culture that permeates their existence. In addition, as this does not directly impact players, such as the consequences of playing through pain, the calls to confront sexism/misogyny are largely not coming from male players. Unfortunately, there is more impact when people within hockey resist the harmful impacts of the culture as people are more inclined to listen to and empathize with the protagonists in our national narrative and because status is used to legitimize particular perspectives. If current player’s voices are needed, and yet they cannot recognize the objectification of girls and women, how will sexism and misogyny ever be recognized and meaningfully challenged if it remains unrecognizable to those within the culture? Yet, as recent current events have revealed, this resistance is the problem at hand!
AND JUST THIS WEEK, A Native American woman who worked for the Chicago Blackhawks is suing the organization and its charity, the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, accusing them of breach of oral contract, fraud and sexual harassment.

Then of course we have the dating app Bumble who decided to tell women to KEEP HOOKING UP with guys on their app because they are losing money and that in turn is all they care about! Seriously, I keep telling you all how TERRIBLE dating apps are and they filled with men who ONLY want to hook up, rape women, cheat on partners.. . etc.
Bumble fumbled, are now working quickly fix the damage caused by an ad campaign that pokes fun at celibacy and abstinence. They changed HOW the app worked, which pissed off A TON of women, and then did this ad. They did apologize, but.. THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR!

Now here’s the KICKER, literally, the kicker in all of this …

The Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butkler, said at very conservative Catholic College told women that they shouldn’t be out here, climbing up the corporate ladder that they should be home, taking care of their husband and children.
If women decide to do that, that’s their choice it’s not for a man to decide a woman’s fate.
Which is kind of funny since his mom, Elizabeth Keller Butker is an accomplished academic who holds a degree in Chemistry from Smith College as well as a Master’s degree in Medical Physics.

How did his mom somehow raised him to be a MISOGYNISTIC & SEXIST man?

BTW Harrison, if you are reading this: you’re a kicker you don’t do hard things and you STILL miss. 

I have NOTHING against women who CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, if that’s what you want be and that’s what you desire then go for it but for a man who kicks balls for a living to tell other women that their dreams don’t matter and that they should just be in the kitchen is what’s wrong; it’s 2024 not 1964.

Women can do a lot of different things and wear different hats and that triggers some men who can’t do hard things.

Now, as a Catholic woman, I don’t agree AT ALL with what Harrison has said AND here are the Catholic teachings that I have been taught:

1- We all were created to serve God. We all have a special purpose, that purpose is not the same for everyone.
2- Each of us were shaped differently. We all were given different Spiritual gifts, Personalities, and Abilities. What you are ABLE to do, God wants you to do. No one else can play your role.
3- Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Your purpose is to show love to others.

God doesn’t want everyone to do the same work.
God doesn’t hate any of us based on race, sexuality, or weakness.
God made us and our life started at conception.

Those in the church that preach otherwise are preaching their own agenda. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Maybe Harrison forgot this. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. I think as a society we have truly have forgotten about love and how to truly love each other.
Love only embraces, and never attacks. It is of the Spirit, and thus incapable of attack.
What a beautiful thought.

Mind Over Matter

Yes- the rumors are true! My book, “The Championship Mindset” has been published and you can purchase it ONLY here (C lick here) Barnes and Noble dot com!
A champion mindset is a mindset that allows you to perform your best. Anyone that works on adopting this mindset will not only get better at what they do, but they will have the chance to be the best at what they do. Mindset is the biggest factor in success. Your mindset impacts each and every decision that you take. Whether you are an athlete or not, you can acquire The Championship Mindset!

A CONTEST / GIVEAWAY is coming soon!

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER/X
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Boss Moves Only

My new book, “The Championship Mindset” is available for download now on my teachers pay teachers site. Click the photo to go directly to the site to purchase!

The paperback/workbook will be available by the end of the month.

A champion mindset is a mindset that allows you to perform your best. Anyone that works on adopting this mindset will not only get better at what they do, but they will have the chance to be the best at what they do. Mindset is the biggest factor in success. Your mindset impacts each and every decision that you take.

The first episode of the podcast is out too! You can listen for free!

Subscribe to my Youtube Channel and follow my series: The Diary Of A Social Gal

Say Hello to 2024

I speak life into my manifestations.

2024 is my year for abundance, prosperity, love, and success.
(Say this affirmation every day this week!)

You were meant to survive it. You know how to take an L and turn it into a win. You have the faith to see it where others can’t.

Be Grateful.
Believe.
Manifest.
And whatever you want you’ll get.

Each Week I will share with you some inspiration as we all are on the road to having the championship mindset. 

Follow me on Youtube today.
Subscribe to the podcast.

Hi, You Can Call Me Karma

We’ve made it to the end of 2023.

We need to remind ourselves that this is a journey with ups and downs twists and turns, but that we need to stop looking at everything as a “when we get there” and enjoy the journey.

So before the ball drops in Times Square, release what is no longer serving you.
Move forward knowing that everything is working for your highest good.
Walk into 2024 with vulnerability – learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
There are still going to be times when things won’t work out perfectly, and that is okay.
But that is the point.

Shift things in 2024 from wanting to it’s happening and there is NOTHING ANYONE can do to stop it from happening! They can bitch, they can troll, they can complain but what is meant for you will happen in its perfect timing!

SUBSCRIBE to my podcast in 2024 to hear the message of the championship mindset. 
(Also, hey, the behind the scenes stuff too!) 
Let’s get excited! SO many AWESOME things are ABOUT to unfold in 2024! Follow my path and create yours.

When I went into 2023 – I KNEW this year was going to be different and bring me so many new possibilities, opportunities, experiences, and adventures. The seeds were planted and now in 2024 it’s time to watch them bloom. When you walk your path doing it scared and doing it unprepared, your desires will guide you to where you need to go. This is the BEST PART!! 

Live each day with gratitude realizing that is going to get you so much more than you can ever want or need.

The obstacles are what we need.
When we see the opponent on the ice, we don’t run from them, we just gain clarity as to what our next move is.
Your only job in 2024 is to JUST BE.

Congrats on getting through whatever it is that you got through in 2023… Now, let’s continue this journey together in 2024.

Did you see me on TMZ?

I did a segment o TMZ on Alec Bladwin …. go ahead and take a look. BTW… I am a content creator so I added to this video and made it a little retro. 
In 2024 THIS IS THE APP that you should be using!
here is my code to use! CLICK HERE FOR CODE

If you don’t follow my podcast, here is the link to follow it and join me for the December 31st show. Do you how th social media platforms were ranked in the 2023? Do you know what trends are coming? Also a review of my year along with some surprises too! I also will be doing an IG LIVE on New Year’s Eve!

QR CODE TO FOLLOW MY IG

I will have a Christmas Blog for you Sunday. See y’all then!

Throw It Around Like It’s Confetti

Here is team holiday spirit for you! The holidays are upon us… Let me share the holiday season with you!

The holiday Season is a great time to share gifts with those you love. Support Small Businesses like mine. When you buy from small businesses, you help a dream come true. I have tons of different designs and products ( Sweatshirts, T-shirts, Coffee mugs and now even notebooks!) Scan the QR code to go directly to the shop.
If you need a link then CLICK HERE

Also, This holiday weekend …. I have some of my books either on sale or FREE to download… check my author page for details on AMAZON!!!

Stop Being A Sell Out

Everyone needs their little tribe where people are allowed to be themselves, where people are allowed to have feelings, and where people are allowed to love and stand up for what they believe in.
People today want to keep us in a box. And athletes today wear the rose colored glasses.
It’s okay to feel important, but it’s not okay to feel that you are better than anyone else. No one is perfect, I’m not even perfect, far from it but what I do know is what empathy is.

And what I do is that sometimes you have to teach people in unconventional ways how to turn inward to feel empathy and love so that when they look outward they can see life in that perspective.

People spend way too much time being fake and embracing things that are not real while trying to break down anyone being authentic; including your “precious” athletes you root for. Everything to them is about being fake because that is what their branding is- if they didn’t get caught up in the fake world of materialistic wealth and being wrapped up in narcissism, I bet you that they too would be more compassionate without a camera crew, more loving and open, and more respectful.

With the holiday season here, that is my wish.
For people to open their eyes to authenticity and for people to see that life is best lived being real, not fake like you see on social media.
Hating on someone for realness, their opinions, or their unknown story doesn’t make you better than them, or a hero, it makes you weaker. Dimming someone else’s light doesn’t make yours shine brighter.

So, this holiday season; spread kindness, pay it forward, remembering that words have power but so do actions. Put the two together with good intentions and just imagine the world we can create.

Remember, without love, we’re nothing,