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The Blog Series: Book Preview of Relationship Impossible

Introduction: Where we left off in Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?

When I set out to write, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid,” I had no idea that it would hit a lot of nerves with people, on both sides of the argument, in the matter of online dating. Not only did it hit a lot of nerves for those who “believe” in online dating, but I had many questions left to answer. Let’s dive right in to what was discussed:

I talked about social media and relationships, when I mentioned the following:

“Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!”

Before social media came to be, our personal and professional relationships were separated by office walls. Now, through the use of social media, they aren’t. I discussed how social media has effected our lives, for the good and for the bad. That then took us into the discussion on online dating and dating apps.

Misrepresenting yourself on a dating site or app is as easy as a click here and a click there.

See, when you meet someone either at a party or at a bar, you see the person for who the person is ( look wise – no chance to use a fake picture ) and for the most part, they aren’t going to “make up a name” like they can and some do online. You can then actually get their name and do a background check on them yourself. With these dating sites, it’s hard to know if they are being truthful as to who they really are. Another thing that you can decipher in person that you really cannot evaluate online is another person’s sense of humor and connection. Reading a profile just isn’t going to cut it. They can “say” they are the funniest thing around since Seinfeld, but saying it online and actually being funny in person are two different things. And some of the services the websites offer might backfire, causing users to overlook people they might be happy with while choosing people they really don’t “match” up well with due to their answers and how they set up their profiles. At a party you may have two people to choose from, where as on the Internet dating sites, you have hundreds, thousands of different suitors to look over. I also broke the dating code, so to speak, by telling you how each site that “claimed” they had a scientific way of “matching” folks to the “correct” partner worked.

I then got into the conversation on what every site has failed to recognize is that there really is no way to successfully predict that a relationship will last, especially when the most crucial information is not collected:

A) Individual Characteristics of each partner which include personalities, attitudes and if each partner is relatively stable.

B) Quality of interactions – This can only be measured in person, not online. This includes how well the couple will communicate and also support each other.

C) Unforeseen Circumstances – This includes stress, financial problems, cultures, family issues, etc.

With this said, users beware that the only ultimate way to know if a relationship is going to last, is actual face-to-face interaction.

This then went into the stories about scams, lies, and the studies that show that online dating/ dating apps do not work the way they are intended to work, and I list those sites.

I also gave folks a little reminder, “ Your future partner is not a link on a website, he or she is a human being.”

Not only did I talk about the reasons why no one should be using these sites, I even gave you tips if you do want to try these sites. (What can I say, I care.)

I gave tips on how to win an ex back, even though I am totally against going back with an ex for this reason alone: They are called an “ex” for a reason. Now, I am all for second chances, but you need to be extremely sure and confident that the relationship with your ex is worth it.

Also on the table of discussion, was if you are a guy who is looking for a relationship, I gave tips directly from the mouths of single women everywhere. I can tell you all that the first thing that bothers single women is the fact that men today have forgotten about chivalry.

Of course I had advice for women too when I said:

“I can’t make people value me. All I can do is show them who I am, what I feel, and what I believe in. It’s up to them to realize my worth. And what every woman needs to learn is the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Let the universe know this by the way you treat yourself.”

My favorite chapter, and everyone’s favorite chapter was 10 where I used some of my past relationships as lessons for what NOT to do. One of our best learning tools is looking back at our mistakes.

Each relationship has made me into who I am today. There is no way around that. I have not only grown as a person, but I have grown thicker skin, have taken more risks, and learned that life is short. Here are the lessons from that chapter that I wanted to pass along to all of you:

THE KEYS OF WHAT NOT TO DO:

a- Never judge anyone without getting to know them yourself.

b- Just because your boyfriend breaks up with you, doesn’t mean that you need to date someone else right away to replace him. Learn to be alone and recover first, then date later.

c- You don’t need to use your sexuality as a way to gain attention. Use it as a powerful tool to boost yourself confidence instead.

d- Never judge a book by its cover. Just because he looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model ( and is one) does not mean that his personality is as “hot”

e-Don’t give a guy that many chances. The truth is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Period.

f- If someone shows you their true colors, don’t try and paint a different picture.

g- Finally, don’t take a person you meet online at face value. It’s easy for them to lie about who they are and if they are really using you in their little game. Google them. Find out if they are hiding anything. Always LISTEN to your instincts. When someone is using you, playing you, or things aren’t adding up, your instincts will never lie to you.

To note the 2 relationships I briefly mentioned in the book: The 23 year old and the divorced dad who was in his 40s, those relationships went south. The 23 year old was too scared to turn our relationship into something serious because he literally was afraid of what his friends thought. Yes, guys are that immature and stupid. Also, strong women scare weak men. The 45ish divorced dad proved once and for all that NO ONE should get involved with a soon-to-be divorcee – RED FLAGS were everywhere and eventually were received, noted and dealt with in a timely manner. Both relationships were in separate years too.

Then we pivoted from that to of course talking about some serious topics in the dating world. When you hear the phrase, abusive relationship, usually domestic violence comes to mind, but emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. And the truth is emotional abuse doesn’t just happen to women; it also happens to men and the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.

There are 3 different types of abuse that happen in relationships: 1) Domestic Violence 2) Rape and 3) Dating abuse. These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

Abuse isn’t always obvious.

Here are some red flags that everyone reading this should know and note:

  • Call you names and put you down
  • Call or text you throughout the day to check on you
  • Keep you from friends or family
  • Control your $
  • Threaten to hurt you, himself/herself, your pet or loved one
  • Hit, Kick, Push, Punch, Slap, Pinch, Choke or Bite you
  • Destroy property or throw things
  • Tell you who you can see or what job you can have
  • Tell you how to dress
  • Act overly jealous
  • Withhold medication or health care
  • Make you have sex or do sexual acts that you don’t want to do
  • Threaten to “out” you if you are gay or lesbian
  • Constantly criticize
  • Embarrass you
  • Blame you for everything – including the abusive behavior

What usually happens after this happens the first time is that the victim makes statements like:

“My partner isn’t violent all the time – they love me”

“Things will get better – they didn’t mean it”

“Maybe it’s my fault”

“I’m scared of what will happen if I leave them”

And the abuse continues.

Remember, most relationships start off with each person acting their best and seeing the other with rose-colored glasses. It never starts off on an abusive note.

There were many other topics we discussed in “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” and the feedback from the book was tremendous. Which leads me to writing this follow up book, “Relationship Impossible”

Here is a brief summary of the topics that will be discussed in the book- note that I am not mentioning EVERY topic.

A. How Covid 19 affected dating

B. How Dating apps and sites actually work

C. Social Media’s Shallow Pitfalls

D. Athletes. Social Media, and Dating Apps

E. Myths: sexual myths, Out of My League Myths, etc.

F. The 7 Selfish Traits

G. How The Me Too Movement Changed Dating

H. The most dangerous / safe states for online dating

And much more.

Of course some of the topics that I have blogged about over the years, will be mentioned and some topics are those that trend on social media like the following: TO BE CONTINUED….. ( Oh, just you wait… )

If you would like to read Hello Love Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed, which was nominated for Book of the Year in 2016, click here or click here

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Behind The Scenes – Take 2

After spending 2 days shoveling snow, it’s nice to get back to working on building my empire. Of course that means I have a lot work to get too, especially since I am revamping my streams of income and trying to get a hold on how to go about starting my 6th stream.
Now, if you never heard this before, then maybe I am telling you something new: Most successful empires have at least 6 streams of income coming in at the same time. That is very difficult to pull off – ( it’s not impossible though)

Here are my streams for those who ask but I won’t go into actual details with each:

  1. Social Media Marketing ( I own a company that does just this)
  2. Blogging and Books
  3. Podcasts
  4. Cheerleading Camp Online
  5. Affiliating and influencing marketing

So… what is number 6? That is the one I have been researching and while i have it, I am not going to discuss it just yet. But let’s talk about the other 5 for a second.

I am shifting my social media business a little where it gives me more time to spend on number 2-5 Shifting it will take time but it will happen. I am working on my next book as I type this i just finished writing up the preview and I am working on having sponsored Ads in my blog posts. Podcasting: Same as the blog- I am coming up with a plan to get sponsored or folks to sign up for exclusive offers for a small fee. Cheerleading…. I have the site up and running, now it’s figuring all else out. And finally I have to up my game with affiliating marketing this year.

Doing this takes time, effort, energy, creativity and perseverance. Also add patience.

If you would like to watch the IGTV series, you can find it on my Instagram –

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Valentine’s Day Shopping Guide

Valentine’s Day is not that far away- it’s 23 days to be exact. Time to start shopping for loved one, friends and even yourself! Here is a mini guide to making it easier for you.

  1. Rox Jewelry Shop – They have really nice jewelry at good prices and also other great accessories and items. Click here to get 15% off your purchase
They have this sassy and flirty T-shirt
Rox has this great LOVE necklace, perfect for Valentine’s Day!

2) Coffee Over Cardio – This coffee company has an awesome selection of coffee and even has an exercise program that you can follow too! There coffee is gluten free, sugar free, Keto Friendly and Carb free- FYI Click this link to save 15% off your purchase!

Party Pack has some awesome flavors: Birthday Cake, Messy Bun- Cinnamon Bun and Saturdaze Chocolate Donut
Mug NOT included- These coffee flavors Rock!

3) Dancing And Life Crisis Program

Crisis is something that touches each of us. We all experience loss. We all experience pain and hardship. No one is exempt. Yet it seems that no one is equipped to deal with a crisis.

We flail around, deny, or we just breakdown. Saje Flow wanted to do something about that.

The Dancing through Crisis 7-Day Challenge is a free online video training program where Saje Flow will walk you through 7 powerful movements that can start the process of empowering you to overcome your crisis today.

Best of all — it is free! Click the link to learn more!

4) Mugs and T-shirts that scream coffee and wine- a girl’s 2 favorite things! Click the link to go to the shop

COffee is my hustle juice

Happy Shopping!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

When Is Enough, Enough.

Here we again in 2021, where a woman came forward back in 2016 that Jared Porter, the then head of scouting of The Cubs sent a woman reporter unsolicited text messages hitting on her at Yankees Stadium and asking her to go for a drink. The fact that she responded to his messages at first, to only allow him to carry on for 60 text messages and never respond with GET LOST allowed him to keep perusing her- because there she sent him mixed signals.

Here’s the difference between her and me, after I got text 1 and wasn’t interested I would have told him off nicely. If he continued then I would have had to get bitchy.
Then it was said that he sent her a picture of his penis ( or a stock image, who knows at this point)

Guys sending photos of their junk shows their inability to communicate maturely. Men think the photos will serve to arouse the woman – because they, themselves, would find it arousing if that woman sent such a photo to them. And believe me, there are women who do such things. Some people think this is a sign of predator behavior. And to those people I will say this: have you ever heard of Tinder? Even before Tinder guys have been doing this forever – Would you like to know how MANY of those dick pics I have gotten on Twitter?

This toxic culture has been in sports forever. Look at how athletes treat women. Look at how the leagues treat women. But more importantly, the women put up with being treated as sex-objects and don’t stand their ground. Time for women to step it up. This particular woman waited 5 years to allow this story to break. ESPN knew of this story a year after it happened but the woman did not want them to report it. SO why now? This is again, what women need to do: They can’t wait until it’s convenient for them to come forward, they must be brave enough to come forward when it happens. The only way to stop things is to stop it when it happens, not let it continue to stew. Let’s play devil’s advocate: What happens if Jared did this with another woman and because the first woman never came forward, this poor woman was sexually assaulted.

Back in college I was stalked by this guy. I had completely NO interest in him whatsoever. He liked to hang around a friend of mine back then. First he got my friend to give him my number. Then he invited himself to my house. He called my house. He spoke to my parents. He constantly bothered me. This went on for 2 weeks until I finally spoke up and told him to go away- that I wasn’t interested in him at all and I was not friends with him either. (Now, maybe folks know why I am totally against being set up… that’s a blog for another day!)

The point being, this could have gone on for months if I didn’t stand my ground, send him a clear signal that I was not interested in him at all, not let the pursuing continue. This is why ignoring someone is not the best method to deal with situations. Thinking that they will eventually “go away” is the wrong approach. Remember, you never know what someone’s breaking point is, and when you are dealing with emotions, you can’t just “let that slide.”

This does not fall on the men alone. Yes, men need to be better but women need to do better too. Women need to be able to send clear cut signals of NO means no. And men need to be able to receive that message and move on.

Look for the preview of my book, “Relationship Impossible” in the coming future.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Crazy Folks Are Found On Tinder

As I get my upcoming book in order, I had to go back on dating apps. Yikes! So Here are a couple “winners” I found as to what type of guy you find on dating apps, I mean hook up apps, like Tinder:

Bull, 38
Tall. Sane. Clean. Educated. Repectfully dominant and well eqipped. Thorough. Verbal, Love roleplay or fantasy. We only have 1 life to live. ( Sounds like someone who is looking for that girl who wants to hook up and just head on over to the bedroom, or hotel room and get some and then it’s onto the next.)

Leo, 41
Married dad looking for a submissive to have my way with. ( MARRIED… Hello? Do I need say more?)

Hammond, 41

Online dating is so hard when you’re a truthful person. I feel like it makes you savage and makes you jaded. Most don’t read the profile because all they are looking for is sex and I’m not on here for that. (Sounds like he is trying to sound like he’s not interested in hooking up but then why is he even on this app that is all about the hook up?)

Kevin, 34

6’3 = I’m taller than you! I’m not going to remember that I have this app about after 2 months, but message me and I’ll get an alerty and check it.
Giving this a try because Covid makes it impossible to meet people the old fashion way.
“You look so much cuter with something in your mouth” I hate Nickelback but once in awhile they get it right. ( So, Covid is making it impossible to meet people BUT yet, here he is trying to get a hook up online. Yay! Let’s have a-kind-of-hook-up-on-Zoom-or-Facetime! )

Zack, 30

I got a B+ on Human Sexuality in College. So let’s just say that I know my way around a *checks poorly scribbled notes*

Clitoris ( And Zack’s profile picture of him half naked in a pool, where do I sign up? – That’s Sarcasm Folks.)

And …. yes, not only do guys have poor choice of words in these bios, but their profile pictures are another thing all together. The sad thing is, women are falling for this crap day in and day out or they wouldn’t have that many subscribers to the app.

As one guy put it, “With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day – the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.” – ( and let’s add the spread of STD’s, other diseases, and yes, unwanted pregnancies.)

If you seriously think about it rock stars and professional athletes have enjoyed easily accessible casual sex for decades. Now with these apps, access to all these women who want to just “do it” makes it one thousand times easier. Tinder allow everyone to seek brief validation in the form of casual sex with a stranger. Why do women, who in the age of “Me Too,” want to play the game by the guys rules? What women on Tinder have not realized yet is the fact that men you meet on Tinder most likely are not available; look at the list above, just about all those bios I listed maybe one guy is “available” for a relationship.

Remember ladies, no matter how good you are in the sack, you are not going to turn a casual sex with a guy into a meaningful relationship- EVER. The guy will remember you, There are 3 types of women in a guy’s mind:

The hook up 2am girl – they would never date or have a long term relationship with her only sex. (These are those girls who are also “good in the sack” )

Friend Zone – if you aren’t attracted to each other then it’s going to be impossible to get out of the friend zone.

Wife material- He sees that you are smart, attractive and he sees that you have a lot to offer.

Do you really think these apps are going to make a guy look for wife material?

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, but you allow someone into your life in a “casual way,” then that’s what you get. If you instead hold out for someone who is also looking for the commitment you are, then you’ll get that instead.

The choice is up to you. Choose wisely.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A new year brings hope

See how you can experience joy and gratitude in the coming year. In times of crisis it is hard to be hopeful.. But it’s not impossible—and may be the key to mentally surviving a crisis like this. Despite the burdens of the recent past you can look to the future with the likelihood of positive change. You can turn turmoil and crisis into opportunity.

Discover your primary inner strength that will bring you through the problems that life gives you?

This is a 30 day New Year New You campaign which is all about empowering ourselves to overcome the challenges of 2020 and starting fresh in 2021.

To Sign Up ClickHere: CLICK

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Social Media Is Out Of Control

When did #Facebook and #Twitter turn into The Maury Povich Show but then in the same breath turned into The Jerry Springer Show?People hating on each other and criticizing each other all damn day- People are afraid to have actual conversations because, geez, you might learn something and then of course the rest of you hate being wrong and have to argue until you are told that you right. (Or you use the dumb line, “Let’s agree to disagree, because you HAVE to make sure the other person hears your point of view!)

You all look like little children screaming at each other on the playground.
I’ve said it before and as a #socialmedia expert I will say it again:Social Media was NOT intended for Political discussion. And if you want to know WHY- you’ve all been witnessing the reason since 2015.


Show me pictures of your pets, kids, vacations, from long ago.Show me pictures of nature, of your favorite sports teams, your favorite foods, hobbies.

Talk about #inspring others

Talk about what you enjoy about life.

Post things that are funny, #motivating that show others you care.

Social Media was intended to BUILD UP the community and it was intended to BUILD UP EACH OTHER! It wasn’t intended for what you are all turning it into!(And don’t talk to me about Freedom Of Speech, and this is my page, please… STOP. What you post you need to be ACCOUNTABLE for: WORDS have POWER!)

BTW- we wouldn’t be in the mess if the people on BOTH sides would stop re-electing the same dumb-asses while at the same time expecting different results.

STOP living life as a Republican, Democrat, Conservative or Liberal and start living life as an AMERICAN. Try to be the BEST one you can be. When you start to do this , then and only then will things get better.

STOP attacking each other and start caring about one another. Remember, we are ALL in this TOGETHER-Together we RISE, Together we FALL. Which direction do you wish to go?

PEACE OUT(Oh, if you DARE comment ANYTHING on this post in a political matter, I will delete it – and you obviously didn’t let what I said sink in. )

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Look Back At 2020 And A Look Ahead at 2021

2020, may be coming to end, but the challenges we faced this year continue as we go into 2021. Yet in 2020 we saw people around the world come together to help others facing the unknown, as allies and advocates for not only their friends and community members, but for people they may never meet — providing financial support, emotional support or even inspiring others to lend a hand in any way they can. 2020 is the year that forever changed us all. It forced us to slow down, give up things (whether we wanted to or not), but it forced us to grow in ways we might not have grown without Covid.

I used to think that being busy all the time showed people that I was one of the best go get’em and knock them dead entrepreneurs.. That if I wasn’t doing anything productive or knocking off all the items on my to-do lists that I was just a complete failure. 2020 taught me that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to take time off from my “busy life” and just live in the moments that I am given.

Another thing that 2020 has taught me is that it’s okay to ask for help. Some people are so afraid to ask for help because then it means that they aren’t the superman or superwoman most thought they were. We all can’t do everything alone, sometimes we need to put our egos aside and reach out.

As someone who loves social media, 2020 has taught us that your mind can’t handle the constant negativity, fighting, and toxicity that you see, and hopefully you learned to really limit your consumption of it all. I did this prior to 2020, but I do this even better because of crazy-ass year we have had.

Finally, instead of worrying about all the things yet to come and all the things I wish we had, this year I found myself learning to be completely content with what surrounded me. Yes, I had the worst birthday, with not being able to go out, and yes, I wanted to have new adventures this year, but what 2020 made me realize is that the most important thing in the world is love and being surrounded by it.

2020 taught me that sometimes you have to risk opening up and putting everything on the table because if you don’t, then you lose the chance of not getting to know people. We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all had heartbreak but if you’re not willing to take a risk then you miss out on the relationships that could be amazing. Life is short. Don’t sit there and ponder, “What if.” No man is an island. Reach out, and it may be the beginning of something beautiful. 

We all faced many challenges this year, but I was blessed to have some amazing people who stood by my side the entire time. They know who they are. All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart. And to all those strangers out there on social media that have become some of the best people that I have light conversations with, thank you for becoming a part of life.

Happy New Year!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Christmas Truly Is The Season Of Love

As I sit down to put together my next book, “Relationship Impossible,” I can’t help but think about the timing, as the book is about love, so too, is the season of Christmas.

I would be amiss not to talk about love and Christmas.

One of the things that bother me each year, is the fact how people want to throw a wrench in kids belief in Santa. “Santa isn’t real. Santa only brings toys, We shouldn’t let kids believe that expensive toys are from him, and so forth. These are things that people say, especially in the mom groups on Facebook.

I think people have lost sight as to who Santa truly is and what the season of Christmas is really about- hint, it’s not about the materialistic gifts.

Santa is more than just about gifts- it’s about the season of love and miracles. The focus is on the gifts but gifts for many can be many different things. Some wish for love. Some wish for romance. Some wish to get that dream job they always wanted. Some wish to be able to feed their families. Some wish to become parents. Some wish to be able to keep their homes. Some wish to be able to find their way.

Gifts don’t necessarily have to be materialistic this time of year. That is why the season is so magical and full of possibilities. Can we stop telling parents and people how to handle Santa and try to “force” others not to believe? Why do people want to ruin it for kids who WANT to believe? Heck I still believe in Santa because I believe in the spirit of the season!

If you want to know why the world is so cold, it’s because 1) people have forgotten how to say thank you and 2) people have forgotten how to have faith.

If only people had a little more love to give to others without expecting anything in return this world would be a better place. That’s part of the problem. People today expect others to give and give and then are never grateful that they received. If someone gives of their heart to you, shows you support, encourages you, always say thank you.

That is why most people run from relationships, especially during the holiday season. They feel overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, hurt, and used.

In today’s world with dating apps, people tend to run from the hard relationships and aim for the easier ones. But as we have learned in 2020, life wasn’t meant to be easy.

It’s not easy with Covid to be able to “reach out” to others this year, but this holiday season I am encouraging and challenging you to approach sad or difficult relationships with extra love and grace. Rather than dwell on what might be, focus on what is right before you now. Stop playing possible scenarios in your head and go for what is immediately in front of you. I always write about knowing your value and your worth, and never settling, but so many times I see people use that as an excuse to throw away a perfectly good relationship.

The holiday season is when so many relationships break apart. Holiday expenses often equal pressure, especially when you are in a relationship. Whether you just started dating, have been together for years, or are married. Re-read the above: Gifts for many people can be many different things. If someone only cares about the materialistic things, and doesn’t value the gifts of encouragement, support, patience, and understanding, then they truly don’t grasp the concept of love.

Another reason couples break up at the holidays is because sometimes people don’t like where they wind up in the pecking order. Like I said above, people expect things from others, and when they don’t get it or when they give and the other person doesn’t show gratitude it makes you think and shift your priorities.

What people misunderstand is that, it’s not just the phrase “I love you” that’s important for others to hear. You never know how often others receive positive words about themselves from others. We should offer life-giving words whenever we have the opportunity. That is why the Christmas season is about love. It’s not in the gifts we give, but how we express our feelings towards those who we love. The challenge is to continue to love in tangible ways the rest of the year.

To those who struggle with the idea of finding that “perfect romance” or wanting that “easy relationship” this time of year, I say this: When we help people know they’re loved and inspire others to pass on the love they’ve received from God, then we’re spreading the true hope of Christmas. Make the most of this season’s opportunities and spread love everywhere you go. You never know what can transpire from spreading joy and love to people around you.

And to those who are trying to find their way just know that the further you are from where you started, the closer you get to where you belong. Sometimes you end up right where you started because that’s the place you are supposed to be. The signs are always in front of you. That’s why we are supposed to look ahead, and not backwards.

Merry Christmas.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Football For Dummies ( AKA The Jets Fans)

If there is one group of football fans that surely know how to make me want to vomit, it’s the NY Jets Fans. They head over to social media, mostly Twitter and Facebook, where they boast about their own team losing in hopes of the number pick. I read the guys tweets. I read the guys posts. And then I either want to throw up or bang my head against the wall; it’s a toss up, really.

This fan base is one of the most fickle fan bases I have ever seen. They get all excited when they draft guys they “think” are going to muster up to the expectations and boo the draft picks that actually become great NFL players for other teams, since they dump them quickly. This organization has looked like it has no idea what it has been doing since the last time they won a Superbowl which was 1969. We have seen this organization embarrass itself in more ways than one. There were moments like, Jets legend Joe Namath made a fool of himself (and the franchise) on Dec. 20, 2003 when he drunkenly told ESPN’s Suzy Kolber, “I want to kiss you, I could care less about the team struggling” during a sideline interview. There was Bill Belichick announcing he was resigning as head coach of the New York Jets by writing a note on a napkin. During a game in December 2010, then-Jets strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi intentionally tripped Dolphins punt returner Nolan Carroll along the sideline. Not a great look, really. The Jets suffered a brutal loss to the Dolphins on November 27, 1994, thanks to Dan Marino’s “Clock Play.” In 2015, former Jets quarterback and first-round pick Geno Smith was punched in the face by teammate IK Enemkpali over $600. I mean, I seriously can go on…. and on. But nothing can top those things than seeing the fan base root AGAINST their OWN team and giving up so soon on players developing.

For all the fans that seem to think they know everything here is a little football lesson between college football and the NFL.

First of all the preparation and dedication to the game must be absolute in order to sustain success for a long period of time in the NFL. This is probably the most crucial difference between college and the pros.

The best professional football players learn how to dissect the game and their opponents long before they take the field. College athletes never have the luxury of going so in-depth. So, essentially everyone in college is on a relatively even playing field in terms of preparation.

College football is equalized in preparation opportunity, while the NFL is generally more equalized in physical ability. Guys in the league quickly realize they can no longer rely solely on their physical gifts to be dominant.

The width of the fields are not the same thing. This is the granddaddy issue, and one people never think about. Yes, in a literal sense, pro and college fields are the same width (53 1/3 yards). But in a strategic sense, they’re wildly different. Hashmarks dictate where the ball is spotted. In the NFL, they’re 18 feet, 6 inches apart. In college, they’re 40 feet apart. This means the pro game always begins near the middle of the field, with relatively equal spacing on both sides. That makes for a crisp, tight game, with (initially) balanced formations and coverages.

It’s difficult to compare coaches in college to coaches in the NFL. They are similar yet completely different at the same time. There are a lot of things to take into account when comparing the two – they might be coaching the same sport, but each is an entirely separate world with unique challenges-

Remember, Trevor Lawrence isn’t coming to the NFL with his QB coach, his head coach, his OL, or his WRs. He also needs to learn a completely new offense and gain chemistry with an entire new OL and with his WRs.

Let me remind of you of the TOP QB prospects that NEVER made it in the NFL:

1) Jason White
2) Graham Harrell
3) Johnny Manziel
4) Ryan Leaf
5) Kellen Moore
6) Colt McCoy ( he’s the back up for the Giants- but he never made it as a franchise QB)
7) Case Keenum
8) Eric Crouch

The point being, just because all the “experts” say that Trevor Lawrence is amazing, doesn’t mean that it will translate to the NFL. Remember they have been wrong MANY times before.

Also, Andrew Luck was deemed, the most elite QB since Peyton Manning. He NEVER won a Super Bowl.

You are hoping that “maybe” Trevor will live up to all the hype, while giving up on Sam who definitely has what it takes to be a Franchise QB. Jets fans gave up on Leonard Williams, look at him with the Giants this year – he has 39 tackles and 8.5 sacks so far.
Look at Quentin Williams , you all thought he was trash last year – my point is that fans give up too soon on players and expect that they are going to be perfect the minute they step on the NFL field. Sam Darnold has never had a complete team BUILT around him. Now is the time to do this and build around the small core of players that the team has! He also needs a QB coach that is not going to let him make the same mistakes, and also a coach that is going to highlight his strengths.


Investing in your franchise QB is a business move and if they decide they don’t want to pay him just for that reason alone, then they are not investing in winning. They are in the business of winning and you can’t win if you keep dumping your draft picks 2/3 years later and “start over”, or as Jets fans like to constantly say, “Start Fresh”

You all will look FOOLISH if by chance Joe Douglas does trade Sam and he succeeds somewhere else and Trevor Lawrence doesn’t look so perfect anymore out of that Clemson jersey.

So be careful what you wish for.

Putting your eggs into one basket never works out in your favor.

Ever.