Can We Stop Harassing Women Who Love Sports?

Although millions of women have experience playing sports and many millions more are fans of sports, women are still looked down upon when they talk about sports. And when they do, men still persistently question their qualifications.

First thing all women who love sports have to deal with is that we ONLY love the sport for how “good looking” the men are. Now, unfortunately some girls tweet and post about how “hot” an athlete looks so all girls and women are thrown into this category and even if we actually enjoy the sport for what it is, and make a comment on how handsome a guy looks, that’s it; we all are told that is the REAL reason we love football or hockey. (Especially those 2 sports)

I don’t know how to break this to you guys out there but it’s pretty much impossible to see the faces or the abs of football players as they’re bolting across my TV or device. And hockey players… have so much padding on them, plus a helmet with a visor, that it’s impossible to judge their “hotness” as they quickly skate up and down the rink. If girls wanted to look at cute guys, they would probably watch a soap opera or a music video or sex website, not athletes covered in so much gear that they’re barely recognizable.

Then we have to deal with questions like, “Your boyfriend, dad or your brothers got you into liking football or hockey, right?” For some reason, it’s hard for some guys to wrap their brains around the fact that a woman can turn on a TV or find a sport and find a game all on her own. I can tell you for a fact that no one in my family introduced me to NY Rangers hockey… I found it, got into it, and love it all by my little self.

Another thing that guys don’t seem to understand is that you can be a fan of a sport without knowing every player’s statistics. If you claim to like , the Yankees for example, then guys bombard me with questions about the players and even when I know all of the answers., these guys STILL won’t let up!
Listen, we don’t quiz men on your Shakira knowledge so why should they quiz us on sports?

My favorite though is insisting that I am an airhead, because I am a female fan.

Another doozy is that if you like a team that just so happens to be doing well, you’re going to be accused of liking them because it’s trendy. ( We get that in NY a lot)

Let me tell you that I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a hockey jersey to impress ANY guy! Most women watch sports, because they actually enjoy them. They don’t have an ulterior motive. Sorry that you feel so incredibly insecure about yourself to even think that.

Also, if a girl likes a certain player that you hate, that doesn’t give you the right to bully, harass, or shame someone for THEIR love for that particular player. People need to realize that not EVERY post needs your comment on it – just as in real life you wouldn’t engage in every conversation you would come in contact with same applies online.
I hate it when people bash players online and then also think they can bash their families and the fans who like them. I will go after you on that, as being an athlete is hard enough, let alone having people bash them who by the way are buying tickets to watch. Most fans couldn’t even survive on the field or ice past the 1st shift/1 series.

Finally, this is what one guy I spoke too about what he thought about women enjoying sports had to say, “I’m a competitive cyclist and if a girl can keep up with me on a mid-paced weekend ride I’m pretty much in love.”

25 facts about me

As part of The Diary Of A Social Gal, I am going to tell you 25 things about me. Some of you may know some of them, but I can guarantee that no one knows all 25.
Are you ready? Here we go….

  1. My Name is Stephanie … it’s spelled this way not Stephany, Stefanie. The biggest pet peeve is when people misspell my name. Also my nickname is Steph or Stephie. Spelled just as you see it.
  2. I’m an Aries – born April 7th. I celebrate my birthday for an entire month – I even celebrate my half birthday on October 7th. My birthday is the only time when I can think about me. It’s important to me.
  3. My hobbies I love are: sewing, crafts, baking, reading, writing music, traveling when I can, shopping, street fairs, festivals, etc, and napping. Yes, napping. If it were an Olympic sport, I’d have tons of gold medals.
  4. My favorite places are The Jersey Shore, Lake George, Anaheim CA, San Diego CA, Ann Arbor MI, And downtown Boston.
  5. I have never traveled abroad but would love to go to Italy, England and Paris.
  6. I once won $300 on a $1 scratch off lotto ticket
  7. My favorite candies are M&Ms, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and Gummy Bears.
  8. My favorite snacks are Pretzel Pieces ( Cheddar Cheese Flavor) Fruit and Yogurt Parfaits. ( Although sometimes I do eat cookies – Oreos or Teddy Grahams)
  9. I am not an into insects. I freak out with spiders, am terrified of bees, and basically anything that crawls is dead when it is around me.
  10. I do though love butterflies, caterpillars, and lady bugs.
  11. My most annoying habit is remembering everything which pisses off everyone else since I remembered it and I remind them and then people tend to get mad at me for bringing it up! I tend to enjoy pissing off people… but I make up for that with being loving and caring.
  12. I have a collections of tea cup regular size and mini and elephants. Well, my Grandma started to collect elephant statues and now I continue that tradition. Any elephant with his trunk up I collect.
  13. My favorite seasons are everything but winter. Although snow is very pretty to look at it’s not the best to drive in.
  14. My favorite sport to follow is hockey. Yes, I understand the game very well, “for a girl” and if you want to know why I like it, then go read the blog post, Why This Chick Loves Hockey.
  15. If I could have a superpower it would be ….( guess for a chance to win a $10 Amazon card, some NYR coffee, and a winter knit hat!)
  16. Some of my pet peeve are well, as a New Yorker, those who drive and don’t put on their signal and those who drive way too slow.
  17. I enjoy watching football and writing my own plays I think each QB should be doing on offense.
  18. The thing I love about myself the most is my positive attitude and my willingness to always want to help others.
  19. I own a social media company which then through the company I have branched out other businesses. I take on clients for social media but I also sell content that I create as well. I blog, I podcast, I am a published author and I started a coffee brand called Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee.
  20. My favorite color since I was little is pink. Now my niece loves this color too! She’s even bought me a shirt because it was pink.
  21. I’m a Godmother and an Auntie.
  22. I am Italian, Polish and Austrian.
  23. I’m short. 5’3 but have an attitude of 6’1
  24. Everyone that knows me, knows that I am really very sassy. Don’t mess with me. I will not only stand up for myself but I stand up for all my friends/family.
  25. I coach cheerleading and have for 16 years ( Long time- I started in my 20s) I also have taken the test to be a cheer judge, sell content to other cheer teams across the country, and create routines as a Choreographer for other teams. I started out as a dancer when I was 7 and switched to Cheerleading later on. I was a flyer. Yes, that girl who did the stunts in the air!)

So, You Want To Date An Athlete, Huh?

Who can deny the attraction to dating an athlete: someone who by their nature is disciplined, focused, and recognizes the value of working as a team toward a shared goal? But While dating an athlete has some “perks” it comes with cons as well, especially for chicks that can’t handle it nor understand the sport they play in the first place.

  1. They May Seem Single-Focused
    It’s only natural for an athlete to want to focus on the season and focus on winning a championship. And if you date an athlete, you need to be able to understand that he is not ignoring you or that you won’t be his number one priority. Instead you will have to accept the fact that when he is playing, that’s his job and his main focus is and should be his team. He may not be able to go to that function, or he may miss your birthday, but trust me he will make up for it when it’s the off season.
  2. Traveling
    He may have be away at a week a time, depending on the sport he plays. You may have to deal with taking care of the house, bills, kids, etc all on your own at times. IF you can’t handle this aspect, then dating an athlete is not for you at all. Independent women can handle dating an athlete simply because we already handle running the show at work and at home, and fit the role quite nicely.
  3. Center of Attention
    Whether you hate being the center of attention of love it, dating an athlete, especially one that plays in NY or is a top athlete, always has eyes of them. That means that eyes will be on you. If you can’t stand people watching you, watching what you post on social media, and are a very private person, then dating an athlete is not for you.
  4. They need Support
    Obviously from my standpoint, I am a cheerleading coach ( former cheerleader) so I understand things from a different point of view that a basic fan. Also, I give 100% support and I also have knowledge of the sport, so that is another reason why I can date an athlete. If you can’t grasp the concept that your man needs your support and that you need to root for him and his team to win, plus understand the sport he plays, then dating an athlete isn’t for you. Oh, also be prepared to actually go to as many games as you can to support them as well. Remember, we make time for what and who is important to us.
  5. Fitness Fun
    Athletes need to be in top shape all year round, not just in the season that they play/perform. Being a coach I understand this so they get to have a fitness partner in me. If you hate working out and aren’t in the best shape, then maybe you shouldn’t date an athlete.

    When dating an athlete you need to remember that it’s not just about you. You can’t get all upset because your man is focused on trying to remember the playbook, or he’s watching film, or a game, etc. You can’t be upset that he’s only had a meal with you a few times this week. You need to understand that when your man loses and/or he gets hurt he is not going to be in the best mood and he is going to need even more of your love and support at those times.
    So many times I see women on social media complaining about this type of stuff instead of taking the focus off how it “effects them” and putting it in the proper place. But also to the athlete he needs to remember that she deserves to be with a man who doesn’t make her look stupid being loyal. We’ve seen that also played out before as well.

    So finally, when I date an athlete I always tell him this:
    I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.




Introducing: The Diary Of A Social Gal Media Tour

Starting Tomorrow, September 18th I will be heading into NYC to take The Diary of a Social Gal Public….

So what am I going to be doing?

Well, for starters, each Sunday that I am doing the tour I will give my podcast viewers/listeners and blog readers a chance to WIN some great prizes all my joining me on Twitter as a bonus if you follow me on LinkedIn, you will get a second chance to win a prize. If you follow either my Sassy Stuff board or my Podcast board on Pinterest, that will be a third chance to win a prize!

Here’s how you can win a prize…. you will have to GUESS where I am and on Twitter when I post the hint, under that tweet we will have a thread of guess where I am. At the end of the tour for that day I will announce where I am. I will give you a max number of 3 hints while I am out. The 3rd hint I will expand with a very small video podcast where I will talk about did you know about myself, the NY Rangers, Dating/Relationship Observations, or Everyone’s favorite segment: My Rants.

The other way to win a prize will be when I post social media content ideas on LinkedIn and you need to comment with a photo of you doing that specific content idea. On Pinterest I will post “fun facts” and links to my podcasts can you will need to comment if the fun fact is true or false and with my podcasts, you would need listen to it for the hint word of the week.

So, I hope you will join me starting tomorrow.

It’s going to be fun and I plan to have fun. Oh, each week may not be the SAME time, but I will send out a “Pre-tour” tweet to let you know when we will start! And…. If won’t ALWAYS be NYC… I can literally “pop up” ANYWHERE. ( And I mean, anywhere!)

I Remember 9/11

I will always remember where I was on that day and how it impacted everyone’s lives.

I remember working at a school that day and having a co-worker tell me her dad worked in the North Tower and in 50 years he NEVER missed a day of work until that day.
I remember having to comfort a parent who thought his wife was on 1 of those planes. Luckily she wasn’t.
I remember driving home that night and seeing State Troopers parked at every exit on the Thruway.
I remember learning that my neighbor lost his dad that day trying to rescue others. He was a firefighter.
I remember hearing about friends who lost siblings in the buildings.

I also remember how this Country BANNED TOGETHER and NEVER let Politics stand between each other – how we were kind and caring of one another. We need to REMEMBER that because we as a Country have lost sight of what TRULY is important. If you don’t want to do it for yourself and your neighbors do it for the 3,000 lives that were lost that day.

Don’t let hate win but rather let love reign.

💙
♥️

You Can Learn A lot From People Not Your Age ( Hello, Adam Fox)

For all those non-hockey fans, yesterday the NY Rangers named Jacob Trouba their team captain ( the team hasn’t had one in 4+ years) and one of the players on the team, Adam Fox, had an interesting quote:

So that got me thinking: Why are so many people afraid to associate themselves with people OUTSIDE their age bracket? Being that I was a Pre-K teacher since I was 20 and taught for 15 years, my job was simple: to get kids excited about learning. Not only was it to help them grow, but it was to make them understand that everyday they are are going to learn something new about the world, about themselves and about each other. It was the most fun I had, other than coaching cheerleading which I still do.

One thing is certain and it is the thing in the quote by Adam Fox that he misses the boat on: One can learn from anyone, age is only a number of how long you have been on Earth. People should have is an open mind.

I learn from people who are the most open minded and most knowledgeable. I’ve seen older people who act immature and claim they know everything and I’ve seen young people who are calm and willing to give their two cents. I have been around teenagers, college students, guys/girls in their 20s and 30s. I also associate with folks in their 40s and 50s as well. I am full-rounded.

One of my favorite memories is listening to stories from my grandma who lived 99 years and my great-aunt who is still alive at 106 ( she will be 107 in a month) The stories taught me life lessons that I was able to put to use in my life. An example was when my grandma told me to always be the bigger person, arguing with fools make you look like a fool. It’s never worth standing around and arguing if you aren’t going to find a solution to the problem.

If you read my previous blogs, you know that I am a big supporter of younger guys dating older women and older men dating younger women. The reasons were simply:

Older people have a lot of life experience. They can teach you a lot about the reality of life. On the flip side, young folks can teach you what you forget growing up. They are so full of life and ideas. They can’t wait to go out in the world and leave their mark. Its sometimes necessary to not be worried about a single thing and go do what you want to do. Older folks and younger folks can mingle, have adventures together and not have to deal with so much drama as you do when you only are interested in your age category.

I believe that someone has something that I can learn. I never let age, gender or sexuality, be a factor as to whether I should learn from them or not. To do so would be idiocy. Too bad Adam Fox only thinks he can learn from people close to his age or his age. I mean, I understand that sometimes we get comfortable, but you never grow in your comfort zone. It’s only when you embrace the unknown and take a risk that you learn a lot about life and the world you live in. Some risks are always worth taking like love, doing what you are passionate about and standing up for yourself.

Wisdom should always be shared. Every day I learn something in the industry I am in: social media. Some of those in this industry are younger than me, and they learn from me as well. Also, I have coached cheer for a very, very long time, and have learned things from those older than me and younger than me in this industry.

Imagine being a hockey player and only thinking that you are going to learn from those closest to your age? That is ridiculous! You learn from those who played the game before you as well as you learn from those young kids who are just starting out. You learn from coaches who are probably old enough to be the players dads or uncles.

The point is, you learn from people, not from their age. Age does not guarantee knowledge and knowledge can be compounded and complex at any age.

Here are a few other things that people have taught me in life to date:

1- If you worry about how people will judge you, you’ll never achieve anything.

2-There won’t be “plenty of time later” to enjoy life. Life is short and you have NO IDEA how long you have here. Why wait to do what it is that you want to do? Don’t put off your career change, relationship, or any other life desire until you reach some mythical point of readiness; it doesn’t exist.

3- It’s vital to cultivate friendships with people older and younger than you. Younger friends steep you in optimism and possibility, while older friends will ground you in wisdom. You need the perspectives of both.

4- There’s no quicker path to misery than conditional happiness.

If I get that promotion, I will feel happy.
If I buy that luxury car, I will feel content.
If I find a girlfriend/boyfriend, I will feel joy.

If you can’t find happiness during the pursuit, it won’t last long when you reach the finish line. Find joy in the journey- that is what life is- a journey and so far I am having fun on mine.

Guys, can we stop this already?

Why do you guys one, feel the need to honk your horn when you drive by a girl you like? And two, still use corny, foolish pick up lines?

Pick up lines are outdated and borderline embarrassing.

Do you guys know what is sexy?

When you approach a girl while being your authentic self and flat out have a casual conversation with her. Yes, you read that right. Pick up lines, like in the video, are foolish, corny, and some of them are vulgar.

STOP thinking that is going to land you a date with a girl that you want. Instead all she is going to do is roll her eyes, laugh AT you, and walk away.

Watch the video about honking your horn at a girl. What do you think she is going to do?

The Truth About Self-Worth

No matter what our friends say about us, why is it that we can never see ourselves clearly? Why it is so hard to see the good in ourselves?

I think it’s hard for many of us to see the good in ourselves when we are so constantly reminded of what is wrong. We hear that we will never measure up others from our parents, spouses, boyfriends/girlfriends, our bosses and co-workers, on social media and celebrities. But what is worse is when we hear it most from a voice within ourselves. These past two weeks I have spent time doing self-care and focusing on letting go of people, situations, and feelings that no longer serve me for the higher good. It’s awesome to be able to free yourself from the negative so you can focus on all the positive around you and also be able to now allow all the good things to find their way to you.

I find that most tend to look at their faults more than their good qualities. People today have become obsessed with being a perfectionist. SO my suggestion is that you sit down and write down all good things you did in your life that you did, all the things that you are grateful for, you will see all the good in you and all you have to be thankful for. A great self awareness and purposeful driven life can see a good in himself/herself. Sometimes, when we know who we are, what we have , where we are going and our responsibilities–we stand a better chance to clearly appreciate the good in ourselves.
Everyone has SELF-WORTH. EVERYONE has to know that they are VALUED. And Everyone needs to understand that you will NEVER be perfect, so embrace your flaws, focus on the good, and learn to take it one day at a time. Because frankly, that’s all we can do.

Romantic Gestures: Men Get a Pass, Women Get Labeled.

When men attempt bold gestures it’s considered romantic and sweet. When a woman attempts them, it’s considered desperate and crazy. Watch any romantic movie and they will tell you the same old, boring, story: If you want to win the love of your life, an over-the-top romantic gesture is the way to go. But hold on, wait a minute, those bold gestures are for the man to do, not a woman.

When Maroon 5 sings, “Baby, I’m preying on you tonight/Maybe you think that you can hide/I can smell your scent for miles,” hardly anyone flinches at the creepy craziness of these lyrics. But when Taylor Swift writes a song, people accuse her of being spiteful, vengeful, and retreating to her crazy woman-den to write mean songs about men.

The vast majority of women may be totally “normal” in a relationship. But then you see one woman acting jealous, insecure, or worse, going after a guy they want and you think, “See!? Women are crazy!” See, when a woman does something “crazy,” like show a man a bold gesture, it’s because she is crazy. When a man does the exact same thing, it’s because men are romantic and strong.

The reasons are simple though: Women feel more emotions than men — it’s that they’re more likely to talk about it, therefore when men actually show emotions, it’s them as weak. But when they show a romantic gesture, it shows them as the hunters, the strong vital man who hunts down his prey in order to salvage his manhood. Back in the day the romantic gestures were; opening the door for her, giving her flowers, taking her out on romantic dinner, giving her kiss on her forehead, basically be a gentlemen. Today that chivalry is nonexistent. It’s all about how far you can get with a woman today. Guys today don’t realize just how much we women want the old fashioned chivalry to make a comeback.

Men don’t like women to be initiators. At least the majority doesn’t even though you see men do Tiktoks where they “claim” that they enjoy being pursued. Now, it is important for me to add, that there are men who don’t mind if a woman asks him out, but that percentage is about 15%. The other 85% still want to be the hunter, “so to speak.”

So to the other 85% of men who assume that when a woman asks you out or presents you wilth a bold gestures let me tell you a few things: 1- yes she is bold and forward to ask you because SHE LIKES YOU! 2- NO, she is not pushy, demanding or controlling. 3- This idea that cannot be her protector because she is the one who asked you out is absurd! EVERY woman wants to be loved and feel protected no matter if you ask her or she asks you! 4- She will not make you submit to her will! Please! Now, if you date a woman who knows what she wants, doesn’t that make it easier for you? and finally 5, She will value my achievements and your dreams. Just because she approached you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t value what you bring to the table or what your goals in life are- that idea is so ridiculous!

If a woman asks you out, that is a compliment to you. She sees something in you that she wants, and she wants to get to know you. Embrace it, enjoy it and stop with the gender double standards. Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. It shouldn’t matter at the end of the day, who asked who out, but the relationship that the two of you share.

Abortion and the right to it.

So, unless you are under a rock, today the US Supreme Court overturned Roe vs Wade, which in my opinion, they messed up way back in 1973.

First off, it NEVER was a constitutional right.

I don’t know what school some of you went to, but in history class or social studies as we called it, abortion was never part of the constitution. It’s not part of the 14th amendment it’s not part of the first/ second amendment it is not part of the constitution at all. Second of all row vs wade should’ve been thrown out, as each state makes its own rules and laws. Some state laws that differ from state to state gun control laws, custody laws, divorce laws, motor vehicle laws, business laws, but each are run separately.

Each state in the United States has a legislator as part of its form of government and most of the fundamental details of the legislator are specific in the state Constitution. State legislators are like miniature congresses no two are exactly alike. You have state legislators ,you have state assemblies, each state writes their own bills ,has their own budgets, etc. Obviously then we have the federal laws which all states are to abide by, but abortion should not be one of them.

Now of course what I’m going to say is going to trigger some of you, but I’m going to say it anyway. Abortion is not birth control! Let me say it again for those in the back, abortion is not birth control! Abortion is only needed for three reasons 1) incest 2) rape and 3) the mother‘s life is in danger and the only way to save her is to unfortunately abort the baby. It is not birth control where are you can have sex with as many partners as you want, get pregnant and have an abortion. If you would like to do that, then that’s what condoms are for, that’s what birth control is for. And speaking of condoms, everyone should be using them when you are having sex with multiple partners. There are things out there in the world called STDs, AIDS, being one of them and we stop the spread of those by having safe sex! So please, if you’re going to have sex use common sense.

Also for the men out there abortion is not so you don’t then have to pay child support for you being irresponsible by having sex without a condom.
I will also add that is why folks then put babies up for adoption. There are MANY couples and WOMEN who want children, but or some reason can not have them. Adoption is the ONLY way for some to go.

Remember every US state is also SOVEREIGN entity in its own right and it’s granted the power to create laws and regulate them according to their needs. Therefore abortion should be one of them whether you like it or not.