The book that everybody has been waiting for is finally arriving on your shelf soon .
more to come!
Just Gonna Leave This Here
Oh, so you’re in a relationship with an athlete
If you follow a lot of athletes on Instagram, you will see that they use the feature of stories very often and very well. They tend to put the girls they are “dating” or even those they are “married” to in those stories and not on their feed. Why?
A story only lasts 24 hours and then it disappears. Not everyone will technically see said story of you posing with the girl, so they have a better chance at hiding a romance while at the same time of letting the girl think they are exclusive because they “posted” about them together.
The MAIN excuse you will hear from these guys as to why they don’t wish to post on the feed about their relationships are the following: “I want to keep my life private,” or, “It’s no one’s business who I am with and what I am doing.” Or my favorite, “All the important people in our circle already know we are together, why do a bunch of strangers need to know?”
This here is straight up nonsense!
You are already using a social media platform so your life is not private. And you already started posting about other areas in your life, the main areas of your life can’t be kept private now. Let me add that all those who do have private IG accounts look like they are HIDING things NOT that they want to have a “private life” as an athlete.
So what is the motive of an athlete who doesn’t post up about their married or even who they are dating? They do this to appear single and to “keep their options open,” so when they go on the road and use the dating app Tinder, girls who try and look them up are lied too about them being in a relationship. Although some naive girls will still believe an athlete when they tell them that they are “not happy” in their relationship and that they are planning of getting a divorce when they aren’t.
Let me also add that I know a former NFL player and his wife and on Instagram, and one day she posted that she laughs at all the women who end up in her husband’s DMS, because they don’t know that she reads their private messages… (insert laughing out loud emoji)
Remember it’s not the actual social media that ruins relationships. People who don’t respect relationship boundaries do. There’s a difference between private and secret. And if you are a secret, then you are NOT respected nor a priority.
Also note that if you ask a guy why he hasn’t posted you up, check out his body language and how he flips the script and says that YOU are acting insecure, YOU don’t trust him, etc. It is a clear give away that he is LYING to you and that he wants to keep his options open or that he is already cheating on you.
That is why MEN should POST UP his lady/woman first. That shows you EXACTLY how he feels about you. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than any words he ever says to you. When a man posts up his girl it signifies that he is PROUD of his woman, that he LOVES her, and he doesn’t want ANY OTHER MAN to have her! When he doesn’t, you are just a little toy in his game. That’s why basic chicks need to STEP up their game. In my experience people settle because a part of them believe that is all they deserve or because they are desperate, are afraid of being alone . They may feel that they aren’t WORTHY of something better, even though she CLEARLY is!
It’s all about the mindset. One day, when I was around 24, A complete stranger in a coffee shop overheard my conversation and said, “You know what, you are a big jar, but you think you’re a small one.”
It took years for me to understand what he meant.
I settled a lot. I thought small. I had a mediocre job, a mediocre relationship, a mediocre life.
I didn’t put myself first. I failed to appreciate the present. I did not know how to make the most of my talents and gifts.
After a few years, and lots of hard work, travels, relationships, after finally accepting that I am the captain of my own life and that I should put myself first, I saw my jar getting bigger and bigger.
Now, I am in love with my life – one that is filled with joy, excitement, and possibilities. Everyday is spectacular. That is the type of life I wish for everyone.
Stop thinking so small. You are worth everything you deserve and more.
The NHL’s Relationship With Women
I don’t know why the hell this needs to be repeated…… women do belong in the NHL.
Whether they’re a fan, coach, broadcaster, journalist, owner, or hold an important office title in the league, there should be a safe space for them to do what they love.
Men need to support women in sports. It’s really not that hard.
As I am in the process of writing my new book, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” I have discovered just how many men are TRIGGERED by women who not only understand the sport, love the sport, but by women who want to empower other women to change the NHL for the better. I have also learned this: If my voice had no power, most of the male fans plus some athletes would not try to silence me. I guess, my only question for them is this; Can you hear me now? If not, don’t worry you will be. My voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways.
Not only am I going to change the NHL for the better, where women are concerned, but I would like to remind fans of 1 woman that actually played in the NHL, even if it was a preseason game, and how that opportunity got lost.
Her name is Manon Rhéaume and in 1992, signed a contract with the Tampa Bay Lightning of the NHL, appearing in preseason exhibition games in 1992 and 1993. She spent five years in professional minor leagues, playing for a total of seven teams and appearing in 24 games. She also played on the Canada women’s national ice hockey team, winning gold medals at the IIHF Women’s World Championship in 1992 and 1994, and the silver medal at the 1998 Winter Olympics.
So to those men who think I can’t change how the NHL sees women and treats women, it can be done. Like I preach, all it takes is ONE person to make a difference. Then of course when I STILL see sexist tweets and posts like this:
I know that I have a fight ahead of me. The fact remains that most men are today are triggered by not only by women who want equality in the workplace, but also women who are strong minded and independent. When I talk about dating and how it has totally shifted to this “basic chick” way whereas she will accept bare minimum and the man doesn’t have to become a better man, this is also what I speak of with the NHL.
I just saw a video on Tiktok of a woman is “says” she is married to a Dallas Stars player who literally said, “The only really I am telling everyone that I am married now is because we both wanted to wait and I wanted to become something and not attached to his name.” HAHAHAAHAHAHA… this girl is so freaking manipulated that it is sad. Oh, and her “husband” he is not one of those superstar players either. And I have never heard of her and her brand that she supposedly wanted to grow on her own. I looked at his IG account and there is ONE … just ONE photo of them together and the comments under it are NASTY!
If you follow me you know that I have stated MANY times that when you date an athlete you have to make sure that HE is the ONE who posts you up FIRST. You have to make sure you are with someone who loves you: Loudly. Proudly. Publicly. Privately. And behind your back. The whole Instagram story shit – that is what these basic chicks buy into and the guy thinks hey, I publicly put her in a story so that should be enough. HA! That’s the copout. As is what is coming February 14th: Valentine’s Day.
NEWSFLASH: If you are a guy or you are an athlete don’t use a holiday like that as a cop out to propose to your girl. For starters, that day is supposed to be special. The day you ask her hand, is not supposed to coincide with the commercial gimmick of Valentine’s Day. (I thought I would add that in this post, while there is still time to change your mind!) You also have to think about what happens if you get divorced, you just ruined a holiday because that is all she will think about when that day comes. Propose a few days before Valentine’s Day or after it.
Oh, back to the NHL for a second so I can clear up something. Most men have the wrong idea when it comes to defining what is masculine and feminine. Furthermore, let me add again, that it is NOT a flex to be sleeping with 5 women at the same time, that does not make you man. That makes you a pig. See, the reason that their IG is NOT FILLED with photos of their women is simply because they think that other girls, or the hoes of the world are going to slide into their DMS. So they HAVE to look single and not taken. That’s why their use stories. Also, it doesn’t go with their agenda of making their IG’s all about them and their careers. When that is NOT what IG is all about. 80% professional 20% personal. These guy freak out when fans think they are robots yet they post on social like they are robots by not letting folks see the human side of themselves.
Muscles don’t make men masculine.
Women being submissive doesn’t make them feminine.
Being loyal to 1 woman makes a man masculine.
Being reliable makes a man masculine.
Being emotionally intelligent makes a man masculine.
A woman is feminine when she’s nurturing.
A woman is feminine when she’s completely comfortable being the driver and the passenger.
A woman is feminine in the way she carries herself and still can be strong minded.
Once a man can do this and understand this, he longer wants to settle for what he is TOLD to settle for, which is a basic chick. He wants more. He wants a woman who is extra and he is manly enough to accept it and he is proud of it. Taylor Swift had to date 13 little boys who were insecure about the fact that she was extra until she met a man who was strong enough to understand that weak-minded men can’t handle a strong, independent, and extra girl.
If there is hope for Travis Kelce, there is hope for many of you guys too.
On a different note, look out for my revised copy of “The Championship Mindset” Monday February 3rd.
Why Joe Burrow Or Any Athlete Are Far From Role Models
If you haven’t heard about the drama surrounding Joe Burrow, then let me make a long story as short as possible: When people try to break into your house and the person reporting it isn’t your longtime girlfriend/fiance but someone else, that’s going to cause girlfriend troubles. Or at least, the suggestion of girlfriend troubles. And that’s exactly what just happened to him. His quote, ““So obviously everybody has heard what has happened. I feel like my privacy has been violated in more ways than one. And way more is already out there than I would want out there and that I care to share, so that’s all I got to say about that.”
He may not want to “get into it,” but I will. Olivia Ponton wasn’t at Burrow’s home in a personal capacity, instead, she reported she was ’employed by Mr. Burrow’ and provided police with a ‘a non-detailed itemization of what items were possibly missing. Um, since when does a TIktok Star/Model “work for a NFL star?” So, was Ponton employed by Burrow with the letters B and J?
No wonder the Bengals are 6-8 this year. He literally is fucking the team and fans because he is getting fucked by a hoe.
the ultimate quote that these NFL stars throw into the ring as do some NHL stars, is that they want “their lives to be private.” Oh sure, but lets fix that idea for you. You want to be able to cheat in private. There’s a difference between keeping your relationship private with everyone knowing you are together, to keeping her a secret. Good thing I know the difference.
How convenient for Burrow that he cheated with another “Olivia” so just in case he was having sex with his longtime girlfirend and he screamed out “her” name she wouldn’t even pick up on the fact that he was thinking of the other girl. Ha! Karma had other plans to expose you and rightfully so!
Maybe if athletes stopped thinking with their egos and the little brain they have between their legs they wouldn’t have to “hide” things. I wouldn’t want to touch most of these athletes with a 10 foot pole!
To all the girls out here who think their dude who plays in the NHL or NFL “loves you” – most don’t. Go to IG and look at most athletes feed. You can tell which ones actually “love” their girl if they post them up and which athletes love themselves more by what is posted.
Josh Allen by the way, is another one who uses the IG story as a cop out to tell his girl “TO the love of my life Happy birthday” Yes, God forbid he wishes her happy birthday on his feed and posts her up. She really doesn’t mean as much to him as y’all think.
Yes, when an athlete posts up his girl he is telling the world he is proud of her, he loves her, and he doesn’t want any other man to go after her. He is also not afraid to become a better man. That’s why girls need to let the guy post HER up FIRST. It’s always the other way around and that’s when the guy doesn’t feel that it’s necessary to post her up and he can pretend to still be single. Every important milestone of the relationship should not be in an IG story but in the feed. Period.
Finally, kids, stop thinking athletes are role models, they aren’t.
Role Models are NOT:
Liars
Cheaters
Users
Abusers
Role models are:
Loyal
Leaders
Compassionate
Empathetic
Joe Burrow and most athletes want their cake and want to eat it too. Hey ladies, STOP settling for crumbs. You deserve the ENTIRE cake as well.
And remember, if you decide to cheat or lie, karma ALWAYS comes around for you. This year has exposed a lot of WHO people truly are. When that happens don’t try and change the picture.
The Silent Women Of The NHL
All last month I saw the NHL Public Relations Dept tweet out, “The NHL continues to celebrate Women in hockey…” and all I could think was, “What a load of crap!”
Why you ask?
Because it is a ploy to make you think that they 1) care about women at all and 2) a distraction from knowing or even thinking that the NHL is the ONLY professional league that does not have written policy to protect women in regard to sexual assault / domestic violence / sexual harassment – but no, let’s get the confetti and celebrate them! (Insert eye roll here) Not only that, but the women also that are in the NHL now, as wives and girlfriends are silent. Do you notice that? Do you notice that when you do have a woman who is married (or used to be married) speak up that woman is forced to stay silent and if they shall open their mouths, they are given, “The Scarlet Letter?”
As you will notice from some of these photos of the some of the women, they look literally identical. I sent a few people a photo of these two women, one is a GF and the other is about to marry a player on the SAME team. And the response I received were al the same, “They are sisters, right?” Ha! Nope. They are NOT related.
Here’s something interesting and I know it is going to rub some folks the wrong way but when the hell did that stop me? If you notice that almost all the women who are either dating or married to NHL players look alike. Now, the ones who are not the same “type” are the ones that knew their athlete when they were young and probably met in school or while they were in the AHL or even possibly out in the wide world. Those women are the women who aren’t in the mold they are “supposed to be” while the women who all look alike, are that for a simple reason or two: Its to keep the hockey culture alive and well and it is also easier to control a chick who is basic and practically the same than it is to control a woman who is different and extra. Some of the basic chicks don’t even realize this, but that NHL player ain’t with you because he “loves you and wants to build with you,” but because you are basic and easy to control. You will put up with his bullshit and NEVER say anything that goes against the grain.
Sorry but not sorry, that is the culture in a heartbeat.
Let’s talk about that for a second.
Think about how uniformed the military is for a minute. Everyone looks alike, everyone sounds alike, and everyone stays in line. What happens when you get out of line? If you break violations, there are consequences.
Think about Boston Bruins Wags for a minute ( Wags stands for Wives and girlfriends) The wife of Lucic suffered domestic violence and filed an assault charge but “miraculously” it was dropped back in February of this year because his agent and the team made it difficult for her to testify and the charges were dropped. But think about the WAGS whose job it is to ONLY smile, look pretty and be happy all the time.
NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN FROM THAT WAG GROUP SAID A DAMN THING ABOUT THIS.
NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN THAT WORKS WITHIN THE BRUINS SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
GARY BETMANN THE COMMISSONER DIDN’T EVEN STAND UP AND SAY THAT ASSAULT OF ANY KIND IS NOT TOLERATED IN THE NHL.
Why? Simple. It’s part of the NHL culture and it’s acceptable. So that is why the players go for basic chicks. A basic chick is EASY to control. A basic chick will not shake things up or cause a stir. A basic chick will not stand up for the other women in fear that they too can be assaulted or abused in any way. And of course, the guys will tell them to keep quiet because THEY DON’T WANT TO BE OSTRACIZED BY THE REST OF THE GUYS because “his woman” opened her mouth.
Think about Anna Kane for a minute. Everyone calls her “crazy” simply because she opened her mouth about domestic violence and how her daughter was taken away from her. The fact is, she is not crazy, what is crazy is that the truth she speaks triggers all those who want to live in this fake sexist world that is the NHL.
She needs to keep speaking her truth!
Something that I noticed from a NY Rangers wife on IG is the fact that she is AMAZING and she tries to have businesses and do things that make her happy outside of her husband’s hockey world. Every time she posts something where she goes off and does something amazing that she wanted to do she thanks her husband for, “Allowing me to be able to do it.” Um, excuse me? He “allowed” you do it? What are you, his slave? She should be allowed to do WHATEVER the fuck she wants to do. She is smart, beautiful and talented. She should not feel the need to thank him at all unless she is thanking him for support.
Another thing I noticed this past February. Jacob Trouba donated or painted some shit for Epilepsy NYC – His wife is a fucking doctor, and she is the photo you see below. The NHL public relations did NOT only MENTION her in the post, but didn’t even TAG HER! She knows MORE about Epilepsy than does the NHL and her husband Jacob! The reason is CLEAR why they didn’t mention her, it GOES AGAINST what the CULTURE is… and the sexism and misogyny at an ALL TIME HIGH!
And I won’t stop there. Sometimes these players pass around the SAME girl as they are appetizers. There is a guy on the Sharks that is married to a basic chick who dated another dude from a another team.
So before I continue let me qualify what a basic chick is or accepts for that matter. A basic chick accepts bare minimum at most. That’s it. Like I have said, they put up with the dudes bullshit. They never correct him, they are never supported publicly on social media or posted up, they never do anything else or demand to be treated better. They just accept basic treatment. The ones who are posted up are in a real relationship for the right reasons, the ones who aren’t, well, like I said, are only with him for the reasons that she is easy and breezy like I say below.
Why do you think I never “made it” dating an NHL player? Because I am extra and I am not going to sit there and let shit happen to the sisterhood that would be the WAGS. No way. I on the other hand, refuse to be tamed or groomed a certain way to “fit into the hockey culture”.
If you know me, you know that I protect all the people who are close to me. (Which isn’t that many but if you are in my circle, you are important to me.) I would though, as I have been told, would make an awesome hockey girlfriend, since I know the game inside out. I am a former cheerleader/ coach and I still work in the cheer industry so I know a thing or two about support and spreading positivity.
Now, I have NOTHING against a woman who wants to be a stay-at-home mom and just live off her husband’s means, if that is what she chooses to do. If a woman doesn’t want to better herself, that’s her prerogative. But I am saying here is the NHL doesn’t give women that option. You don’t see any woman who is married to a hockey player, who is a legend in her own right. For that matter you don’t even see hockey players on social media showing off their women like they’re proud of them, instead they hide them.
Did you know that 2 stars got married this year? Maker and Copp. But if you looked at their social media you wouldn’t even know that they were dating someone and the answer you get from guys as to why they hide their women from their social is a copout: “My life is private.” Yo, dude, there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between people KNOWING you are with someone and KEEPING that person a SECRET. And oh, By the way, A NY Rangers player or two does the SAME SHIT! These women are posting up them in their stories (which is literally a story for another day) and not posting on their feed about the “love of their lives”
And then there is this: These women are afraid to speak up about ANYTHING.
Last year, a NY Rangers had a player whose wife needed In vitro fertilization. That must not have been an easy road, but she did it and had a precious son. She could have been a spokesperson, a representative for all women who struggle. She had the platform to do that. But all she did was an IG story, and that was it. Was she afraid to speak up? Was she told to keep that on the down low?
Women or the WAGS don’t speak up about ANYTHING! They are the silent women of the NHL. They are JUST there to LOOK pretty when they can bring SO much more to the table.
The rest of the women who work in the league also work in silence. Imagine working for Gary Betmann who has two daughters and needs to “stay in line” so she can keep her job, which by the way, is rare for a woman to be working in this league in the first place since 36% of women work in the male dominant sport.
If you are a guy and you are the one saying, “Well, why don’t these women just come forward?” Here’s my answer for you to digest. When women come forward you men, DON’T support them instead you QUESTION and ACCUSE the VICTIM of what she is saying because OH My God, he’s your “favorite’ athlete. If women told you they were attacked by a wild animal you would believe them, no strings attached, but when a women tells you that they are attacked by a man, you question it. The worst is when you say they are “just thirsty, or they wanted that,” Um, not every woman is after a man for his money and I don’t give a flying fuck what the girl is wearing, no girl is asking for it. Also, you guys think it’s a flex to hook up with many chicks and be with “really pretty girls” that is not a flex, that just shows how immature and unstable you guys really are.
Also, I will not validate my feelings on social. I am sorry if this triggers you but if it does, oh well.
If you planned on commenting or a woman dating/married to an NHLer says “We aren’t forced to be silent we just don’t want to distract him or the team… blah blah blah…” I call BS. It’s not that you are forced NOT to open your mouth, it’s that you are scared as shit to open your mouth with fear. And that is wrong.
The NHL culture is AGAINST women. If it weren’t the commissioner would not be against creating a written policy to protect women and their partners.
Sexism is ingrained in the NHL culture as it is to socialize young males with masculine ideals. The process encourages young guys to embody certain traits such as sexism and misogyny and they are subjected to policing tactics that ensure that EVERY SINGLE NHL PLAYER adopts this way of life.
The best the NHL could do is come up with a dumbass slogan, “Hockey is for everyone” is a load of crap, whereas we are talking about sexuality, sexism, and bullying. By the way, Canada is so grossly engaged in the culture of hockey, that is drives that Country’s funding and sport policies.
If current player’s voices are needed and yet they will not recognize how they have objectification of girls and women, how can sexism and misogyny ever be challenged and changed?
Today, you see so many NHL players publicly revealing their struggles with addictions, is connected to this NHL culture that HAS TO CHANGE. Also, what is connected to this culture is the fact that the players are with hyper masculine ideals and that they are not manly if they don’t play through an injury. It bears to also note that the challenge within the hockey culture is that the culture is intentional. The guys struggle for what it means to recognize such behaviors. There is no room for a view of what it means to be otherwise; you are either part of the culture or you are shun from ever making it in the league. There can be NO player who is bigger than the league itself. And when there is, he is not treated well. If the NHL really wanted to celebrate women as women SHOULD BE celebrated, then this culture of having women be a carbon copy of another woman should not be a “thing” in 2024. EVERY woman is special in her own right. EVERY woman deserves respect, appreciation and love for what THEY bring to the table AND not TOLD what to bring to the table.
Why do men of the NHL want woman to bring the exact same thing to the table? What the hell are they so freaking afraid of?
And as I type this, I can guarantee you that behind closed doors some of the women of the NHL are abused and assaulted. If there is one thing, I have learned about watching hockey for as long as I have it’s this: I can pick up on vibes of the players who need anger management. So, if a player on the ice doesn’t get his way and get all heated, don’t you think he brings home that same type of vibe?
Note: there is data that backs this up. Don’t believe me, go on Google and find it.
To summarize, the problem stems from inside the league and blooms all the way around the league. The first step to create change is simple: The League needs a written policy and the players need to start being accountable for it.
So, will women finally speak up and have a voice or will they “stay in line” and “behave” like all NHL players want them too?
Time will tell, but in 2024, the TIME IS NOW.
I Bet You Didn’t See This One Coming
I was planning on releasing a book in the late fall/early winter in 2 parts… but then I got thinking. I can’t really release it until after the trail with the junior hockey players sexual assault case is over… so that gives me PLENTY of time to write that part, but here…
I plan to flip the script and release an album instead.
Here are the tracks:
Selfish
Undone
The Boy Is Divine
Better Than Revenge
Goalies Aren’t the only ones who wear masks
Sister Fate
How to Paint Sunlight
Ryan’s Hope
Shenanigans
Showman Dan
Alice
Mr. Authenticity
Bitter Cold
Karma
Just Be A Man About It
Sheila
Suddenly, I hate you
When a Boy Becomes A Man
Bangers
Backyard
What You Need
23
Skin
You Must Love Me
Obviously Fascinated
Mess For You
Player
What Goes Around Comes Around
I am still deciding which track to release first, but that will come very soon!
Stay tuned…
Did ya understand that?
The Gaudreau brothers were cycling on a road in Oldmans Township on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, when a man driving an SUV in the same direction attempted to pass two other vehicles and struck them from behind at about 8 p.m., according to New Jersey State Police. They were pronounced dead at the scene.
Police said the driver, 43-year-old Higgins, was suspected of being under the influence of alcohol and charged with two counts of death by auto, along with reckless driving, possession of an open container and consuming alcohol in a motor vehicle.
Higgins told a responding officer he had five or six beers prior to the crash and admitted to consuming alcohol while driving, according to the criminal complaint obtained by The Associated Press. He failed a field sobriety test, the complaint said,
According to court records, Higgins had two prior cases in North Carolina during the early 2000s. The records show he was charged with DWI in 2005 but the charges were voluntarily dismissed due to the officer involved not showing up in court. Higgins also had a speeding ticket in 2001 that was dismissed because of his good driving record at the time.
The irony is that Higgins was an employee at Gaudenzia, a nonprofit drug and alcohol treatment center, at the time of the crash. He has since been placed on leave by the organization. So you know, he knew full well not to get behind the wheel, but he did it anyway because he got away with it in 2001 and 2005.
Footnote: NBC Philadelphia
The entire NHL community has been grieving since August 29th. Well, almost everyone.
As I said, in a podcast out of 22 members of the New York Rangers only 4 players showed empathy and compassion by taking the NHLPA post and throwing it into their story and then maybe adding RIP or hearts. So many other players from every other team has shown respect to the Gaudreau family.
The NHL pride’s itself that it’s a brotherhood yet it is far from my brotherhood . it’s only a brotherhood when they’re sexism involved , or homophobia and racism. Most players only pick and choose what they’re going to show empathy towards what they’re going to show compassion for… and unfortunately, a lot of of them are narcissistic, arrogant and completely out of touch with the world.
The fact that MLB and NFL teams and players were classy enough to have a moment of silence or post about it, and some NHL players couldn’t even take the time to create an Instagram story or post something on TwitterX shows you everything that you need to know about the league.
It should not matter if they were ever teammates, they even talked off the ice, he was part of the exact league that you are playing in.
When Kobe Bryant passed away from that plane crash everyone in the NBA showed their compassion and their empathy. Even folks from the NHL, and MLB and NFL. Because it’s not that difficult to take your phone, go on a social media app, and post that. There’s no excuse.
But it doesn’t surprise me in today society how not even just athletes are out of touch with the world, but everybody’s been out touch with the world. People hate you for being authentic and speaking your truth instead of being fake and people pleasing.
People don’t like boundaries, they want to use you as much as they can use you and then when they’re done with you, they just discard you like you are trash. People also hate being called out, when someone points out said truth. The reason that people get so triggered is because they’ve been living a lie and living a lie is better than facing the truth. And what I mean by that is the fact that people will give athletes an excuse for how they are and who they are. They will give people in their community excuses for how they act, what they say about others, and how they go about their daily lives.
People today have no qualms about showing their insecurity, their jealousy and their envy, simply because somebody else’s light is brighter than theirs. Instead of celebrating those people, rooting for those people, they try to tear them down.
Just yesterday we had another school shooting, and it wouldn’t surprise me if social media played a part in that. You go on social media and people are trying to tear people down, bully other people, and not accept the fact that instead of asking questions about certain things, they judge them like they’re all high and mighty when they’re not even close to being that way. Nobody and I repeat nobody, including myself is better than anybody else. We are all imperfectly perfect.. we all have discrepancies. We all have flaws. And we all have strengths. That’s what makes us human. Unfortunately we don’t treat each other as human beings.
People today don’t give a rats ass about anybody else other themselves. Of course young people today think they know it all and they have nothing to learn from anybody else because they know it all. When they’re just growing and evolving. And they’re afraid of doing that. Because that means they have to step into their authenticity and step away from having the fake life on social media where people give them reinforcing attention.
I mean, let’s be real getting attention on social media is kind of fun. I get it. But life was so much easier and different before social media even existed. There’s some positives of social media. You make new friends on social media. You can network with other like-minded business individuals. You can put yourself out there. But there has to be some accountability. And I feel that if somebody has the nerve to try to dim your light, you have every single right to call them out on it. The old saying is true, if you’re gonna dish, then you gotta take it.
That especially goes for the people that like to stalk other peoples accounts, claim that they’re not stalking them, but they’re not following those specific people and then they talk about them like they know them and trash them. Lying about me won’t change the truth about you.
One thing about me is that I will never go through life playing small, being silent, and being accommodating for everybody else. I will never water myself down to make me more digestible for you. If I trigger you in any sort of fashion, that’s on you. Sometimes those who shine brightly always trigger those that rather live in darkness.
So if I’m ever a bitch to you, did you forget that I was nice and nice and nice and nice…. Then I was a bitch?
One thing I’ve learned during transforming my life over the last few years is that me being nice always got me disrespected, ran over and stressed out. I’m not nice. I’m a good person and there’s a difference. People are afraid to get to know someone like that so they’d rather hate on them first instead of learning who they are because then in turn, makes you a better person. God forbid we become better human beings.
We can always learn from others so always be teachable. If you’re not then you’re afraid to evolve and you’re afraid to grow and you’re afraid to learn.
The one take away I take from Meredith and Johnny’s relationship from seeing all the photos is that they BOTH posted up on each other. They look at each other in every single one of those pictures with so much love in their eyes which makes this even more heartbreaking. That’s the type of relationship that I want. That’s the type of relationship that everybody strives to have but sometimes is intimidated to have because it means being emotionally drawn to each other and being vulnerable and today people cannot be those two things.
If anything, these types of heartbreaking situations are lessons for us to learn from.
Life is short. It doesn’t come with the a set of instructions. It doesn’t come with the road map.. but it does come with moments that should be cherished and moments that should be enjoyed. We weren’t put on this earth to bicker with each other and fight with each other. We were put on this earth to help each other, to love each other and to realize that one of the greatest gifts is empathy and to understand that somehow mysteriously, we are all connected to each other. 
When Fiction Becomes Non Fiction
Here I am, trying to change the culture of the #NHL AND get a written policy protecting women of sexual assault/domestic abuse and these authors continue to use hockey players in their plots. AND then expose its graphic content to actual hockey players which makes it seem okay.
There are 4 books “Ice Breaker,” “Collide,” “Cocky Score,” and, “Unsteady” that recently got my attention.
So, since the authors of these books did not do their research, let me enlighten folks for a moment. I don’t want to her well these ladies “just wrote a story,” that is gaslighting and then deferring responsibility and accountability. That is also saying that what I am doing is not valid. Writing a book and using a hockey player in the way they have in their books, makes it ten times harder to try and change the culture let alone try and get a written policy because no one sees or thinks what they are doing isn’t right. For example, In “Ice Breaker,” women want to read about romance, they want to be swept up so to speak, but what they actually find that all the sex starts to get in the way of the romance as it becomes more and more gratuitous, and THAT is part of the HOCKEY CULTURE! Safe to say I am not happy with this representation and the ideas it gives hockey players, let alone women.
Then of course, “Cocky Score,” which the title ALONE yells HOCKEY CULTURE! the female character is ridiculously shy and quiet; the male character is stoic and overly confident. Why do we think this type of romance novel is STILL okay?
In “Collide,” there was barely any hockey but this was a friends with benefits type romance which, doesn’t send a great message to women and sends the wrong message to men. In the book, “Unsteady,” the spicy scenes were not pleasant, i found myself cringing a lot while reading them and all I could think about was how unpleasant it must have been for that women who was raped by the World’s Junior Team. This comes off as a gentle romance between two people who are floundering in bad relationships and need to find real love- something that hockey culture can relate too, is the fact that the men of the NHL put themselves in “bad relationships” only to think cheating is the way to solve them.
What do these books have to do with the NHL?
These books portray women in a bad light and justify a hockey players actions they take. Now, there is no rape, sexual abuse, or domestic violence in these books, but the fact that they all portray hockey players as hypermasculine and using sexual relationships as a way of saying that is “romantic” is obscene. SEX has NOTHING to do with ROMANCE. We need to STOP having even female characters of novels put into uncomfortable situations and that it’s okay to sexualize women, especially in hockey.
In the NHL, you have women who get sexually harassed either by being a fan or even working in the league, which is highly male-dominated. Did you know that the front office of the NY Rangers, is only 6% female and that there were NO females that were on the draft floor this past June- as for MANY teams in the NHL. And just recently the Seattle Kraken hired Jessica Campbell, as an asst coach which sent social media into a sexism frenzy?
This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
Not only am I talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence,, which has occurred within the NHL. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia. Let me also add that there is a HIGH number of hockey players who cheat on their wives/girlfriends by having a second phone with a different number and using trainers/staff to hide it. So when we are ready a “love story” as in the book Unsteady, take it with a grain a salt.
In the book, “Ice Breaker” the question is asked, “She could never like a hockey player, right? ” These books portray a “Steamy Hockey Romance,” but what these authors don’t get is this:
An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”
THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.
If authors intend to use hockey players as the main characters for their books, can they learn to separate sex from romance and can the women NOT be reduced to mere love interests for the male protagonists and nothing more?
Men, The Bear, Bumble And Harrison Butker
I wasn’t playing on writing a blog like this, but seeing how the landscape has been against women even more than it has been as of late, I had to put my thoughts into words.
For starters, if you are not on Tiktok then you missed a lot.
There was this dude who seriously looks like the guy who secretly films women getting dressed in the changing room at a department store, started us off, by telling us that men don’t have to accept women’s rejection : AKA he told men that is OKAY to RAPE them. I highly doubt that he is a “dating coach” which in itself is creepy. But what sane “coach” would tell men that women are forbidden to reject him? My thinking is that this guy never had a date back in high school and/or the head cheerleader rejected him and he is so scarred by that, he has hateful views now towards all women.
If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a guy who put out the question, if women were in a forest would they want to be in a forest alone with a MAN OR A BEAR? He was not asking which one women would choose, technically, but it took off on Tiktok and women every where were answering the bear. You can imagine how much this triggered guys EVERYWHERE!
The men, oh sorry, the boys that were triggered proved over and over WHY women preferred to be alone with a bear instead of a man. When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them. And if we look at the culture that is being thrown at women today, I think it is safe to say, this is why women would choose a bear.
Here are some reasons why women choose the bear in case men are still confused:
A- No one would question us about what I was wearing, why I was wearing what I was wearing, and If what I was wearing was to lead on any man to believe I wanted sex.
B- A Bear would not film it and send it to his friends and post it online.
C- No one will question if the bear attacked really happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the saying, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
By the way, there’s a reason women are warned not to hike or camp alone, and it’s not because of bears.
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. RAINN ( Rape Abuse, Incest Network) says on average, there are nearly 450,000 victims of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States. According to North America Bear Center- black bears – the most common bear in the United States – kill less than one person per year. On average, 28 people in the United States die each year from lightning strikes, according to all U.S. lightning deaths reported from 2006 through 2021
So, when women are saying that they FEEL SAFER in the FOREST/WOODS alone with a bear than with a strange man, and men, instead of trying to make things BETTER for women, are triggered by it and instead of trying to say, “Men should not rape, men should not act like pigs when it comes to women,” They are trying to gaslight, manipulate and force women to feel crazy and stupid for saying a bear. Then you hear guys ask the question why women who are abused and assaulted never come forward or come forward years later:
As many as 90% of those survivors never report their abuse to law enforcement, and more than 30% will never report their abuse to anyone (National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children).
What Happens To Rapists When They Are Caught And Reported?
- 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years. Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison. Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail.
- If a rape is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
- If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
- If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of conviction.
- If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
- So even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.
Not only are we talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia.
An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”
THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to have NHL PLAYERS on a podcast – you are rejected AUTOMATICALLY.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to develop friendships with hockey players, THEY NEED TO BE CERTAIN WOMEN –
Beyond sexist barriers within the sport, there are misogynist ideas engrained that position women as objects and conquests within hockey culture- That is why you ONLY SEE WOMEN WHO 1- ACCEPT BARE MINIMUM, 2- WILL NOT OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT HOW OTHER WOMEN ARE TREATED, AND 3- WHO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!
Misogyny was undeniably evidenced in the alleged gang-sexual assault committed by members of Canada’s 2018 World Junior team, in the subsequent cover-up, and in the revelation that Hockey Canada had a fund that was used consistently and covertly to protect players.
The deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny within hockey culture contribute to these brutal acts of dehumanization. Yet, these connections remain unrecognizable because people are unable to confront the culture that permeates their existence. In addition, as this does not directly impact players, such as the consequences of playing through pain, the calls to confront sexism/misogyny are largely not coming from male players. Unfortunately, there is more impact when people within hockey resist the harmful impacts of the culture as people are more inclined to listen to and empathize with the protagonists in our national narrative and because status is used to legitimize particular perspectives. If current player’s voices are needed, and yet they cannot recognize the objectification of girls and women, how will sexism and misogyny ever be recognized and meaningfully challenged if it remains unrecognizable to those within the culture? Yet, as recent current events have revealed, this resistance is the problem at hand!
AND JUST THIS WEEK, A Native American woman who worked for the Chicago Blackhawks is suing the organization and its charity, the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, accusing them of breach of oral contract, fraud and sexual harassment.
Then of course we have the dating app Bumble who decided to tell women to KEEP HOOKING UP with guys on their app because they are losing money and that in turn is all they care about! Seriously, I keep telling you all how TERRIBLE dating apps are and they filled with men who ONLY want to hook up, rape women, cheat on partners.. . etc.
Bumble fumbled, are now working quickly fix the damage caused by an ad campaign that pokes fun at celibacy and abstinence. They changed HOW the app worked, which pissed off A TON of women, and then did this ad. They did apologize, but.. THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR!
Now here’s the KICKER, literally, the kicker in all of this …
The Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butkler, said at very conservative Catholic College told women that they shouldn’t be out here, climbing up the corporate ladder that they should be home, taking care of their husband and children.
If women decide to do that, that’s their choice it’s not for a man to decide a woman’s fate.
Which is kind of funny since his mom, Elizabeth Keller Butker is an accomplished academic who holds a degree in Chemistry from Smith College as well as a Master’s degree in Medical Physics.
How did his mom somehow raised him to be a MISOGYNISTIC & SEXIST man?
BTW Harrison, if you are reading this: you’re a kicker you don’t do hard things and you STILL miss.
I have NOTHING against women who CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, if that’s what you want be and that’s what you desire then go for it but for a man who kicks balls for a living to tell other women that their dreams don’t matter and that they should just be in the kitchen is what’s wrong; it’s 2024 not 1964.
Women can do a lot of different things and wear different hats and that triggers some men who can’t do hard things.
Now, as a Catholic woman, I don’t agree AT ALL with what Harrison has said AND here are the Catholic teachings that I have been taught:
1- We all were created to serve God. We all have a special purpose, that purpose is not the same for everyone.
2- Each of us were shaped differently. We all were given different Spiritual gifts, Personalities, and Abilities. What you are ABLE to do, God wants you to do. No one else can play your role.
3- Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Your purpose is to show love to others.
God doesn’t want everyone to do the same work.
God doesn’t hate any of us based on race, sexuality, or weakness.
God made us and our life started at conception.
Those in the church that preach otherwise are preaching their own agenda. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Maybe Harrison forgot this. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. I think as a society we have truly have forgotten about love and how to truly love each other.
Love only embraces, and never attacks. It is of the Spirit, and thus incapable of attack.
What a beautiful thought.
I told you, too bad you didn’t listen
If you read my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed,” I warned you that dating apps were all hoaxes designed to use your heart strings to make money. And this week we learn that Match Group, the owner of Tinder, Hinge, and the League, aren’t designed to help users find love, but rather, to empty their pockets and that they are a far cry from being, “designed to be deleted,” which is Hinge’s slogan.
In the lawsuit we find that the six plaintiffs accuse the dating apps, Hinge, that the algorithm predicts a user will find most attractive are locked up in “rose jail’–where daters are required to send these profiles a rose, rather than a regular like, of which they only get one per week–and TikTokers offering dissatisfied swipers “hacks” to get around such an obstacle.
Also on other dating apps, such as Tinder, essentially, the app used an Elo rating system, which is the same method used to calculate the skill levels of chess players: You rose in the ranks based on how many people swiped right on (“liked”) you, but that was weighted based on who the swiper was. The more right swipes that person had, the more their right swipe on you meant for your score.
The League, is as snobby as it sounds…
The app encourages you to choose high-quality photos of you smiling and doing things that interest you, like hiking or going to dinner with friends, rather than posting tons of party photos or selfies in bad lighting. They want you to show off and send the message that you’re cool and attractive. You have to link the app to your LinkedIn and other social media. By doing so, The League automatically inputs your education and career to your profile, so everyone can see how smart and accomplished you are. The app tracks how often you log in, if you respond to people’s messages, how picky you are, if you’re nice to your concierge and other activity. Your matches can also flag your profile and report you if you’re “flaky” or rude through messages or on a date.
THE KICKER: You only get three matches per day (though you can pay to see more prospects). Once you match, you have 21 days to chat before the match and your chat expires. While an expired chat history is still viewable, you won’t be able to engage with that person anymore. The membership is EXTREMELY expensive for a few more “exclusives” that are nothing of measure to even note.
Hinge, makes money through in-app purchases and advertisements. Most of Hinge’s revenue comes from in-app purchases such as boosts, roses, and premium subscriptions. These purchases unlock features on the app to make it easier and more convenient. Another way that Hinge makes money is through advertisements. Whereas the free version lets you “like” up to 8 profiles per day, and if someone’s like you back, it’s a “match.” From there, you send each other unlimited messages and even do video calls.
Remember, there are many studies that suggest that couples who meet using dating apps are slightly more likely to have less satisfying and less stable marriages than couples who meet offline.
As I have said from the beginning, dating apps are great for finding short-term romances, but they’re not conducive to building sustainable relationships. Dating apps don’t work because they are designed to be fast, easy and casual. They’re not good for getting to know someone well and building a strong foundation for a future relationship. Too bad, most don’t listen to me.
Stephanie 's Corner 