Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

You Can Learn A lot From People Not Your Age ( Hello, Adam Fox)

For all those non-hockey fans, yesterday the NY Rangers named Jacob Trouba their team captain ( the team hasn’t had one in 4+ years) and one of the players on the team, Adam Fox, had an interesting quote:

So that got me thinking: Why are so many people afraid to associate themselves with people OUTSIDE their age bracket? Being that I was a Pre-K teacher since I was 20 and taught for 15 years, my job was simple: to get kids excited about learning. Not only was it to help them grow, but it was to make them understand that everyday they are are going to learn something new about the world, about themselves and about each other. It was the most fun I had, other than coaching cheerleading which I still do.

One thing is certain and it is the thing in the quote by Adam Fox that he misses the boat on: One can learn from anyone, age is only a number of how long you have been on Earth. People should have is an open mind.

I learn from people who are the most open minded and most knowledgeable. I’ve seen older people who act immature and claim they know everything and I’ve seen young people who are calm and willing to give their two cents. I have been around teenagers, college students, guys/girls in their 20s and 30s. I also associate with folks in their 40s and 50s as well. I am full-rounded.

One of my favorite memories is listening to stories from my grandma who lived 99 years and my great-aunt who is still alive at 106 ( she will be 107 in a month) The stories taught me life lessons that I was able to put to use in my life. An example was when my grandma told me to always be the bigger person, arguing with fools make you look like a fool. It’s never worth standing around and arguing if you aren’t going to find a solution to the problem.

If you read my previous blogs, you know that I am a big supporter of younger guys dating older women and older men dating younger women. The reasons were simply:

Older people have a lot of life experience. They can teach you a lot about the reality of life. On the flip side, young folks can teach you what you forget growing up. They are so full of life and ideas. They can’t wait to go out in the world and leave their mark. Its sometimes necessary to not be worried about a single thing and go do what you want to do. Older folks and younger folks can mingle, have adventures together and not have to deal with so much drama as you do when you only are interested in your age category.

I believe that someone has something that I can learn. I never let age, gender or sexuality, be a factor as to whether I should learn from them or not. To do so would be idiocy. Too bad Adam Fox only thinks he can learn from people close to his age or his age. I mean, I understand that sometimes we get comfortable, but you never grow in your comfort zone. It’s only when you embrace the unknown and take a risk that you learn a lot about life and the world you live in. Some risks are always worth taking like love, doing what you are passionate about and standing up for yourself.

Wisdom should always be shared. Every day I learn something in the industry I am in: social media. Some of those in this industry are younger than me, and they learn from me as well. Also, I have coached cheer for a very, very long time, and have learned things from those older than me and younger than me in this industry.

Imagine being a hockey player and only thinking that you are going to learn from those closest to your age? That is ridiculous! You learn from those who played the game before you as well as you learn from those young kids who are just starting out. You learn from coaches who are probably old enough to be the players dads or uncles.

The point is, you learn from people, not from their age. Age does not guarantee knowledge and knowledge can be compounded and complex at any age.

Here are a few other things that people have taught me in life to date:

1- If you worry about how people will judge you, you’ll never achieve anything.

2-There won’t be “plenty of time later” to enjoy life. Life is short and you have NO IDEA how long you have here. Why wait to do what it is that you want to do? Don’t put off your career change, relationship, or any other life desire until you reach some mythical point of readiness; it doesn’t exist.

3- It’s vital to cultivate friendships with people older and younger than you. Younger friends steep you in optimism and possibility, while older friends will ground you in wisdom. You need the perspectives of both.

4- There’s no quicker path to misery than conditional happiness.

If I get that promotion, I will feel happy.
If I buy that luxury car, I will feel content.
If I find a girlfriend/boyfriend, I will feel joy.

If you can’t find happiness during the pursuit, it won’t last long when you reach the finish line. Find joy in the journey- that is what life is- a journey and so far I am having fun on mine.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Cheating, Athletes and Social Media

I woke up yesterday morning and did what I usually do, open up the Twitter app to see what was trending, as what good social media experts and content creators do. Seeing two hockey players trending: Connor McDavid and Sammy Bilas and then looked up as to why they both were trending. I knew from some of the posts that it was not about hockey. I did not have to look that far to find out that Connor McDavid has a video surfacing of him drunk holding the hand of a girl and walking with her-and this girl was NOT his girlfriend Lauren Kyle.

Now, I have trashed NFL players for years on relationships and have always said that hockey players are the best athletes – they are genuine, appreciative of the fans, and just plain more fun. But that does not mean that you are going to have some guys who are NHL athletes do what guys everywhere do: cheat on their wives or girlfriends. Note: this is why some NFL players think they are being “smart” by not putting whom they are dating in their IG feeds or posts on Twitter. Two reasons: first, if there is no “proof” no one can say that they are technically “cheating” and secondly, it leaves the door wide open to sleep with as many girls as humanly possible. (Which is why you see the girl they are with in their stories- that shit disappears in 24 hours)

Back to Connor McDavid now. Everyone knows that he has been dating Lauren for quite a while. You’d have to be living under a rock on Mars to not know that he was taken. As I said on Twitter, girls do better research than the FBI; we all know your situations whether you post about them or not. With social media it’s 10x easier to figure stuff out AND there are tons of websites that actually keep track of this sort of thing. ( PLUG: Who dated who ) So, us girls know what the story is and you know what, sometimes we play stupid to it just to see what you guys are going to do. Yes, dogs can’t outsmart foxes. And some of you guys are dogs- and that term is not meant as a compliment.

Connor has NO excuse to cheat on his girlfriend. But as I have found out over time, some guys are just never happy with what they have, who they are with, and they are constantly searching for better when they already had the best. You see that A LOT with NFL players. They are never satisfied with anything. They need more money, more materialistic things, and more women. Am I surprised that a wholesome guy like Connor cheated? No. But I don’t want to hear him say, “I was drunk and had no idea what I was doing or where I was,” the video clearly shows that he did not like the fact that someone videoed him. He has to know that he is seen as public figure and whatever you do in public is fair game. He also has to know that people are going to recognize him without his uniform on too. Also, guys cheat out of anger, jealousy, or a desire for revenge. Even if their partner hasn’t cheated on them but instead if they’ve done something to upset their partner. And if you check Lauren Kyle’s IG, the last picture she posted was her in the WAG jacket at this game, so yeah they were together. Most couples scrub their social media when they break up. ( Note: if you don’t know what WAG means it refers to wives and girlfriends of high-profile sportsmen)

But what I also said on Twitter is that the girl who held him hand and walked with him, and God only knows what else they did that night, deserves as much shit as he is getting because she had to know who he was and that he was taken. I don’t want her to give an excuse that she didn’t know, especially with the crowd surrounding him and the fact that someone shouted out his name. Girls know three things: 1) If the guy is taken 2) Where they hang out and 3) how to be seen. Watching the video for like the hundredth time- she knew what she was doing. I also want to state something about Lauren Kyle and social media:- It is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL to tag her in responses on Twitter and IG talking about what Connor did. Have some dignity and also respect for her please. She’s not the one who cheated, she’s the one who got cheated on. Know the difference. As to dating athletes, this does not change my view on hockey players at all. I still think they are most down to earth guys on the planet, having met my share of them.

Switching gears, let me briefly touch on Sammy Blais for a moment. His sister supposedly graduated from either grad school or colllege and posted a picture of herself on IG. Sammy commented underneath, “Sexy babe” and the world lost its freaking ass mind! If you have a sibling then you know that siblings have inside jokes, pick on each other, and like to cause trouble with each other. Also the word sexy does not always entail looks but confidence. You all look like asses for making a terrible assumption.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Sex Education 101

Being on Twitter and seeing people post things are not true has to be the most frustrating thing! Yes there are folks who tweet “sex facts” but they leave out the facts and just tweet opinions. One of the more taboo topics that many feel uncomfortable talking about is masturbation. A survey found that 54% of people don’t feel comfortable talking about masturbation; the other is orgasms.

Here are some straight up facts:

Masturbation Facts and Statistics

1- 95% of men admit to masturbating, compared to 89% of women. For married individuals, the rate is 70% for both men and women.
2- More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily. 55% of men and 48% of women masturbate at least once a week.
3-The average time porn is watched in a hotel room is 12 minutes.

Studies done by Indiana U, We-Vibe, and Tenga found that one in three men think about a celebrity when they are masturbating. In comparison, only one in five women think about a celebrity while masturbating. 69% of men will watch pornography, listen to music, look at photos or use a vibrator each time they masturbate. In comparison, only 54% of females will do the same thing.  It should be noted that masturbating is not going out and “seeking sex” it is considered ” self-love” ( I use that term with a smirk) and … A recent study found that not only do 45 percent of couples watch porn together, but it’s a healthy way to bond. The study was published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Communication about sex is a major component to a great relationship, and if you can work a mutual interest for porn into your sex life it’s not only a learning experience, but can add some spice to those vanilla positions.

Still, in 2022, though when people talk about sex, they talk about it from the male perspective only. In a few studies done in the past few years, we find that women perceived as more open to casual sex are attributed to having less morals and are seen as less smart than women are not so open to casual sex as men are. Greater female objectification may be prompted by observers’ negative stereotypes of promiscuous women. Focusing on a woman’s body promotes objectification and decreases perceptions of her mental capacity and moral status. The myth that it is completely normal for heterosexual men to see women to whom they are sexually attracted as sex objects needs to be retired. The notion that men can have as much casual sex as they want but women can not is absurd. Men are aroused just by glancing at a female arm, ankle, calf, thigh, stomach — even without ever seeing the woman’s face. Those legs, calves, arms, etc. are sexual objects. That’s why there are innumerable websites featuring them. There is nothing analogous for women. Of course, a woman can be aroused seeing a particularly handsome and masculine man. But there are no websites for women to stare at men’s legs or other male body parts. Women are told not to dress too sexy, because if they do then there must be “asking for it” when it fact women are not at all asking for anything, they do though have a right to dress however they desire. There is that myth that women have a little black dress and men have their little black book. Women wear the little black dress to into a man’s little black book. But again, no one ever views that little black dress as just a dress a woman loves or wants to wear, there is always a sexual thing attached to it. But one thing that remains constant year in and year out is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure. This idea, needs to retired faster than Tom Brady plans to retire at some point.

Here is the kicker: NOT every normal heterosexual man who sees a woman as a sexual object can also completely respect her mind, her character, and everything else non-sexual about her. You have athletes, mostly NFL and NBA who think its a flex to date and sleep with as many women as they want. That’s not the true flex. Women are not prized animals that are owned by a man, so why do we still focus on men as the sexual being and not the other way around?

Women are told to please a man. Men are not told to please women. About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances. On the other hand, It’s clear the male orgasm is strongly selected and it makes sense , if they don’t reach orgasm, they don’t leave offspring. That’s why all we see are articles on how men can be satisfied but not women. It would be helpful if women knew as much about their ‘clits’ as men do about their penises. Women needs time to get off and, foreplay is the most important thing. It helps in vaginal lubrication, which is required for deep penetration and better sexual experience. Your sexual activity doesn’t need to be longer, but better. Women can get the orgasm even without penetration.

It’s not something to be ashamed about either. It’s part of life and it is part of having an intimate relationship. Too much emphasis is placed on models of female sexuality that are created by Hollywood and the pornography industry. But to sort of act as if that’s all that needs to be done for women is just silly. This is a total denial of the facts.

Listen to the latest podcast: Talk about The New York Rangers – Relationships – and Why you should never let AGE dictate your life.

-Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed
-Relationship Impossible

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI. Hello, Stefon Diggs, having 2 women in the SAME hotel but different rooms on Valentine’s Day! Like no one was going to find out- seriously and as I have written many times, NFL players do this shit constantly. This is why I never ever will date an NFL player. They have to be the most superficial, selfish, frustrating men on the planet when it comes to relationships. The only genuine and down to earth athlete that I would ever date would be a hockey player. And if you read some previous posts, I even told you which one I would date in a heartbeat and why. I dated back in the day a guy who tried out for the Cowboys and I dated a guy back in the day who was in the minor leagues for the NHL, so I can see the difference since it’s night and day, for those at home keeping score.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing or like I have mentioned before guys creating fake accounts to follow me on social media to “ see what I am up too.” Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, or interested now in, by either pretending to be a woman, getting a woman they know to befriend me or creating a burner account on social media.

What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

I started to think the other day though, women complain that guys don’t know what we want and guys complain that we won’t tell them. I seriously think there is a miscommunication on this point because mostly we don’t focus to understand, we only wait to respond. So here are a few things that woman want all the men out here to know:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4- Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap and don’t come back either.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Guys in your twenties, don’t knock it until you try it.

( The video attached is for those over the age of 18 )

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow! Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? What is this world that we live in!

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage but that doesn’t mean he lacks communicating. Be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)
And remember, character over looks; personality over money; and loyalty over materialism.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Every Summer Has A Story

Its that time of year again when I am reminded that, “”In every girl’s life, there’s a boy she’ll never forget & a summer when it all began.” Love may start in Spring, but it evolves in Summer.

For me, I can remember way back when to the first summer love I had, in fifth grade. His name was Michael. He was the new boy in class and at first I did not like him at all. (Love/Hate relationships are always intense) He would drive me absolutely crazy by constantly shaking his pen when it ran out of ink. (Like shaking your pen is going to help!) So I came up with an idea to write him a note and tell him just how annoying he truly was. The only problem was that his older cousin was in eighth grade and when she found out that I wrote him a note and told him that if he didn’t stop it, I was going to then throw my pen at him, she kindly told me to cut it out.

And that is when the romance began.

We got to know each other so much so that he even sang to me at lunch one of those inappropriate George Michael songs. Once June came around and school was out, that is when our romance really took off. He would call me and we would hang out, but sadly like every fling, things ended the following year. Okay, so that is not necessarily a summer romance, and yeah, I was eleven, but its got to start somewhere for everyone.

Years later, when I was a junior going to be a senior in high school, that is when another “Mike” came into the picture. He was one year older than me and would visit his best friend who lived near me. That is when I came up with a dance group with all the girls that lived in my neighborhood and they danced my choreography that I created to all the hot songs of the 90’s. He would sit in his car and watch. When I would walk by his car he would stare and smile at me, and I literally felt like I was going to melt!

This particular story brings up even more memories that I won’t get into now, but trust me, some of those memories I am fond of while others are heartbreaking.

So what is the deal with summer, romance, flings, and love?

The summer time is when love seems to rear its head and capture our imagination. During the summer, we feel free, we feel the promise of being able to forget what has happened so far and the promise of starting over. Its a time when also, people want to show off all the winter weight they have lost, so people are actually more attractive in the summer then any other season.

The other reason why the summer time brings out the beast called love is because we get to meet people we never have seen before. Do you all remember the movie, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” and ho she met her fling, turned romance while on vacation? (Yes, its just a movie, but it does really happen!) We are more open to being impulsive, the sunshine is also brighter, we are happier, and the chance of turning a hot day into a steamy night is greater.

Ever hear the saying, “Live it up?” During the summer, that is mostly everyone’s motto.

So how can you have a summer fling turned romance?

The number one way is to GET OFF YOUR PHONE and GO OUT and enjoy life. Seriously, we are becoming too attached to shopping for humans with a swipe of a thumb that when we are out in our every day world, we don’t look at people as potential dating partners at all. We could be passing up a wonderful person and not really even realize that!
Yes, if you met someone even on Twitter, take that relationship offline.
There’s BBQs, bonfires, beaches, lakes, boardwalks, street fairs, etc. the point being is that everyone is outdoors doing their thing, why aren’t you out there flirting it up?

Get adventurous. Do something that you usually don’t do. Put yourself in a situation where you have to meet people- cross something off your bucket list. There are road trips, parks, and places that you can meet folks inside and outside.

Do you have someone in mind that you would like to even possibly date in the summer; this is the TIME TO ASK HIM/HER out! The summer time is the best time to get to know someone since mostly EVERYONE is more relaxed and less stressed. SO go for it… ask that person out. Now, speaking as a female, I prefer to have the guy ask me out, (been there, done that asking a guy out thing) and I am to the one to do the flirting first thing.

If really want the summer fling to last and turn it into the romance of your year or ultimately the one you end up with forever, the two things you need to remember are:

You need to express how you feel. There seems to be some unwritten rule that says summer flings have an expiration date and that we just assume the romance needs to be over with. But if you don’t ask or tell the person how you feel, you may actually be letting go of the person you were meant to be with forever!

The second thing you need to do is include him/her into your everyday after-summer- is -over life. He/She needs to see you, talk to you,when the beach days are over with and the colder weather starts to creep on in. But lets not dwell on this yet, for the summer is only starting and the promise of romance is in the air!

Two cheers to the summer and the potential of remembering a summer that began with a look, a smile, and a kiss.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why This Chick Loves Hockey

Whenever I tell someone that my favorite sport to watch and breathe is hockey, the looks I get could make for a great meme. But when I tell everyone that mine dream job back when I graduated high school was to be a hockey writer, that look, could make for an awesome GIF. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. The stereotype that women are only interested in sports for the hot dudes, is old. I could tell you that I love the action and adrenaline of the greatest sport on earth. I could tell you that I love the fact that hockey players are the most genuine athletes and are hard core, bad asses. I could tell you that I love all that and more, but still most would still think that all I am is a “puck bunny.”

When you love a sport that is dominated by males, sometimes it’s hard to get your point across. So for the guy hockey fan who keeps calling women “puck bunnies” let me point out with all-over protective shields/padding, helmets and face guards, your average female fan isn’t coming to games to drool over the players as their reason for the love of the game. The only thing clearly on display during a game is the player’s skills, abilities and their character. Yes, as a female I will admit that some dudes that play this game are indeed something to look at, especially in their suits they wear entering the arenas, but to say that is what is drawing females to the game is in plain English; sexist.

The skill and my pure jealousy of just how well the players can ice skate, forwards, backwards, sideways all while holding a hockey stick which they need to have hand/eye coordination with, is what drew me to the game in the first place. Then of course there are the fights and the hits. Um, hello, it’s the don’t mess with me attitude that I love. Hockey is the ONLY sport where an athlete will put his team before himself; especially in the playoffs, and play while he is injured. ( Hello, Ryan Lindgren- the warrior himself) Tell me that an NFL, NBA or MLB player ever really has done that? Seriously, they hurt their finger and they are out 2-4 weeks.

Also with hockey no two games are ever the same, even if the score winds up that way. I like how I can sit through sixty minutes of play, an hour worth of intermission reports, an OT and a shootout and somehow find myself more engaged the longer I spend sitting in front of the T.V! And with playoff hockey my heart in beating in my throat with sudden death OT ( Game seven of the Rangers vs Pens series, holy Moses!)
Watching a hockey game in person is just the best experience ever on this planet. Especially if it is at Madison Square Garden watching my favorite team, The New York Rangers. And if some think the regular season is fun, the playoffs at MSG; cannot be topped at any other arena. If you ever want that Oh. My. God feeling…. you come to a playoff game at MSG.

No other sport can match up to hockey. Football takes a 40 second break after every play. The last 20 seconds of a basketball game could take 15 minutes with all the timeouts, and baseball, we all know that baseball is slow. ( Especially watching it on TV) All people need to do is watch one game of hockey or hangout with some true hockey fans, and I believe that they will understand why hockey is the most exciting sport to watch. Oh, and if I forgot to mention, hockey players engage with the fans of the game. You see players talking to fans, giving them pucks, sticks, and even encouraging kids who are sick to keep fighting. These guys will give the shirt off their back to the fans, you don’t see that in any other sport!

So to those who think women only love the sport of hockey for the men who play it; yeah we do.( insert my sarcasm here) The men who play hockey are the toughest guys on the planet and they don’t need to post pictures on their social media of them being buff or working out for us to know that they are tough. We know that they are tough simply by watching the game we love and be amazed at their talent, skill and mental/physical toughness.

Here’s the latest podcast video show

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Friends, Benefits, Lovers: The Vicious Cycle

Why does it seem that women use sex as a tool/reward/weapon in relationships to get what they want, in order to get their way while men do just the opposite?

(Some) men use love as bait to get sex from women, while (some) women use sex as bait to get love from men. Go figure, right? And they somehow think that this is a “relationship.” Yes, I have heard the term, “Friends with Benefits,” but I can tell you that just because there is a term, it’s not actually what is happening.

Every “friends with benefits” relationship that I have heard about, has always ended on a sour note. Women process sex through emotions while men process it through the physical aspect. Mostly, they go “through the motions” especially when it’s with someone they are not emotionally connected too. This is where that whole game of giving the other person what he/she wants, never ends up turning into what we planned in the first place.

Look at how some women try to get attention these days and the poor saps that fall for it hook, line and sinker.

You have women who dress sexy to get attention and when you point it out they say something stupid like, “I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to look good,” but they are total hypocrites because they only dress that way when they are purposely trying to get a guy’s attention. Yes, confidence is important if you want to succeed in life. And its important to feel good about one self, but it is necessary to dress or limit what you wear just to get attention? They dress in revealing clothing, then get upset when their objective is met…men/women staring at them. Give me a break! And you see all the selfies on social media with women who are HALF-naked and all the men’s comments underneath it… please STOP.

It gets annoying because some of us actually don’t want to be looked at as a sex object. Some of us females wants to be able to dress nice or wear that mini skirt because its the style, we like the designer or we want to wear it just because.

There’s a BIG difference between classy and trashy that most females today forget.

Then there are the men and athletes who are insecure, hungry for attention, want their egos boosted every chance in hell they get, so they use something that is precious to a female, love, to bait them into giving them what they truly want: sex.

Some men actually think that it’s okay if they use a woman to gain whatever it is from them. So they “fake” the relationship up to the point where you give in to their sexual advances and of a sudden that guy is “history.” GUYS: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!

It’s important for me to note that NOT ALL men and women are this way. But you will always have a case of a girl who is an attention-whore and in that case the guy who falls for her crap. Now, I have used the term “gold-digger” before and I will tell you athletes this: If a woman/girl is dressing in a certain way to get your attention and that is how she gets your attention, that is a red flag. A woman who enjoys your company, who makes you a better person, wants you to be successful, and makes you feel like you are on top of the world, and does not expect you to buy her expensive shit; that woman, is not a gold digger and I bet you met her when she was “clothed” – that’s the difference.

I don’t think its right for anyone, male or female, to lure a person into believing that they like them to the point where they feel there are having a relationship, when in reality they are just using them. Relationships take time and they are hard to find in this world. Where as today, so many people treat others like they’re as disposable as diapers.

So how can you tell when a guy or girl is actually interested in you- for you and not just as part of a conquering list? (Remember how in my last blog post, I told you that NFL players think it’s a flex to be with many girls?)

The easiest answer to that question is this; Every once in awhile, someone comes along that makes you realize-it is worth it. The best relationships happen unexpectedly. We never realize the power of a single human being until one comes along and conquers our heart. When you force yourself to fall in love or be with someone you are setting up yourself to fall and to fall short of the relationship you deserve. A “Friends with benefits’ relationship is telling you that you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to invest feelings in. Real love is knowing someone’s weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

Remember, a good relationship is worth the wait.

Relationship Impossible available now as a paperback and ebook on Amazon.