The Podcast link will be updated in this post Friday. In the meantime… enjoy the videos/photos
Although millions of women have experience playing sports and many millions more are fans of sports, women are still looked down upon when they talk about sports. And when they do, men still persistently question their qualifications.
First thing all women who love sports have to deal with is that we ONLY love the sport for how “good looking” the men are. Now, unfortunately some girls tweet and post about how “hot” an athlete looks so all girls and women are thrown into this category and even if we actually enjoy the sport for what it is, and make a comment on how handsome a guy looks, that’s it; we all are told that is the REAL reason we love football or hockey. (Especially those 2 sports)
I don’t know how to break this to you guys out there but itâs pretty much impossible to see the faces or the abs of football players as theyâre bolting across my TV or device. And hockey players… have so much padding on them, plus a helmet with a visor, that it’s impossible to judge their “hotness” as they quickly skate up and down the rink. If girls wanted to look at cute guys, they would probably watch a soap opera or a music video or sex website, not athletes covered in so much gear that theyâre barely recognizable.
Then we have to deal with questions like, “Your boyfriend, dad or your brothers got you into liking football or hockey, right?” For some reason, itâs hard for some guys to wrap their brains around the fact that a woman can turn on a TV or find a sport and find a game all on her own. I can tell you for a fact that no one in my family introduced me to NY Rangers hockey… I found it, got into it, and love it all by my little self.
Another thing that guys don’t seem to understand is that you can be a fan of a sport without knowing every playerâs statistics. If you claim to like , the Yankees for example, then guys bombard me with questions about the players and even when I know all of the answers., these guys STILL won’t let up!
Listen, we donât quiz men on your Shakira knowledge so why should they quiz us on sports?
My favorite though is insisting that I am an airhead, because I am a female fan.
Another doozy is that if you like a team that just so happens to be doing well, youâre going to be accused of liking them because itâs trendy. ( We get that in NY a lot)
Let me tell you that I didnât spend hundreds of dollars on a hockey jersey to impress ANY guy! Most women watch sports, because they actually enjoy them. They donât have an ulterior motive. Sorry that you feel so incredibly insecure about yourself to even think that.
Also, if a girl likes a certain player that you hate, that doesn’t give you the right to bully, harass, or shame someone for THEIR love for that particular player. People need to realize that not EVERY post needs your comment on it – just as in real life you wouldn’t engage in every conversation you would come in contact with same applies online.
I hate it when people bash players online and then also think they can bash their families and the fans who like them. I will go after you on that, as being an athlete is hard enough, let alone having people bash them who by the way are buying tickets to watch. Most fans couldn’t even survive on the field or ice past the 1st shift/1 series.
Finally, this is what one guy I spoke too about what he thought about women enjoying sports had to say, “I’m a competitive cyclist and if a girl can keep up with me on a mid-paced weekend ride I’m pretty much in love.”
As part of The Diary Of A Social Gal, I am going to tell you 25 things about me. Some of you may know some of them, but I can guarantee that no one knows all 25.
Are you ready? Here we go….
Who can deny the attraction to dating an athlete: someone who by their nature is disciplined, focused, and recognizes the value of working as a team toward a shared goal? But While dating an athlete has some “perks” it comes with cons as well, especially for chicks that can’t handle it nor understand the sport they play in the first place.
Starting Tomorrow, September 18th I will be heading into NYC to take The Diary of a Social Gal Public….
So what am I going to be doing?
Well, for starters, each Sunday that I am doing the tour I will give my podcast viewers/listeners and blog readers a chance to WIN some great prizes all my joining me on Twitter as a bonus if you follow me on LinkedIn, you will get a second chance to win a prize. If you follow either my Sassy Stuff board or my Podcast board on Pinterest, that will be a third chance to win a prize!
Here’s how you can win a prize…. you will have to GUESS where I am and on Twitter when I post the hint, under that tweet we will have a thread of guess where I am. At the end of the tour for that day I will announce where I am. I will give you a max number of 3 hints while I am out. The 3rd hint I will expand with a very small video podcast where I will talk about did you know about myself, the NY Rangers, Dating/Relationship Observations, or Everyone’s favorite segment: My Rants.
The other way to win a prize will be when I post social media content ideas on LinkedIn and you need to comment with a photo of you doing that specific content idea. On Pinterest I will post “fun facts” and links to my podcasts can you will need to comment if the fun fact is true or false and with my podcasts, you would need listen to it for the hint word of the week.
So, I hope you will join me starting tomorrow.
It’s going to be fun and I plan to have fun. Oh, each week may not be the SAME time, but I will send out a “Pre-tour” tweet to let you know when we will start! And…. If won’t ALWAYS be NYC… I can literally “pop up” ANYWHERE. ( And I mean, anywhere!)
On my podcast, “The Recordings of A Fan girl #sarcasm, I talk about dating, relationships and I mention athletes A LOT with their relationships and dating no-nos. As both the NFL and NHL start up again on September 11th, I thought hey, let’s review some past tips and past stories this week on my podcast.
Here though, I will mention a few goodies.
Click Here to see the screen shot I will be now referring to:
This here is the shit I have to deal with all the time! Dumb ass guys trying to disguise themselves on line to either: A: Hit on me B: Ask dumbass questions C: Think that they are being clever D: This guy actually thinks this here is a pick up line ( which is scary!)
Like I have mentioned here and on my podcast athletes have burner accounts and sometimes they make them so damn obvious too. Not only do they have burner accounts, but they also try their best to disguise themselves on dating apps like Tinder for example. The ones I have seen are NFL players pretending to be construction workers, landscapers, plumbers, real estate agents, etc. Remember, the only reason they are on these apps is for their hook-up on the road, although I have seen these guys be extremely stupid and actually find hook-ups on their home turf.
Some incredibly stupid women have also posted Tiktoks where they show themselves at the guy’s game and then realize that they were set up with a player and had no idea. Other Tiktoks show girls exposing the players cheating on their girlfriends and wives. We’ll get into it on the podcast this week!
As for dating and relationship observations, here are a couple of mine.
1- The first three dates ( which could be seen as a barometer) should just be friendly dates because then youâre really know if you want to pursue anything else and believe me I have had physical attraction right from the get go with some people and it didnât end up the way that I wanted it to but I donât regret having that relationship with those people because it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me how relationships last and how relationships donât last. – Now, when sexual shenanigans take place, that can cloud your judgement on a person. But I don’t think there are any rules to dating expect the 1st date should not include shenanigans.
Also a “date” consists of either coffee, drinks, dinner, a fun nonsexual activity.
2- Sometimes one person in the relationship grows faster and grows completely away from what brought them together in the first place while the other person is still stagnant in the same spot. This is why some relationships fail.
3- I donât understand why people want to be in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship if itâs not something that you really really want. Why waste all that time and energy to just date for the sake of dating you know?
4- Thereâs so much double standards STILL with women in relationships. We can’t ask guys out because that seems too aggressive or seems as the masculine thing to do when we have to only show our feminine side… blah blah blah.
5- Then of course the stigma about women being single⊠Women Like the character Samantha Jones from Sex and The City had sex “Like a man” you know, had her way with him, and then was done with him, she is seen as hoe or a whore. Meanwhile guys can do whatever the hell they want and thereâs no stigma to that.
6- If I decide to date a guy that thatâs younger than me Iâm gonna be seen as a cougar but when a guy my age, date’s a girl younger than him itâs OK. But I am more attracted to young guys 24-30.
7- Of course there is still the stigma that there’s something wrong with a woman who stays single too. Iâm not gonna waste my time to going out with someone because all my friends are with someone or all the pressures on women . I donât really go with the trendy stuff if you havenât noticed, I do what is best for me whether other people like it or not.
8- Athletes fall into 1 of 2 categories- A) The one where they have to date arm candy because that is all they have to offer and it makes them look “good, powerful and important. ” B) The one where they actually date someone not because of who they are, what they look like, or the attention they would get because they dated that person, but because simply they love who they are, they are supportive, loyal, and they bring out the best in them when they are performing in their sport. I guess that is why this former cheerleader and current cheer coach loves being around athletes, because I LEAD.
Thatâs why weâre called cheerleaders because weâre supposed to LEAD not sit on the sidelines and watch things happen. I am loyal, supportive, and I understand things from an athlete’s point of view. They aren’t robots, they are people. They have emotions, they hurt, have pain, and experience life just like any of us. Most fans forget that part, sadly.
I root hard for those I care about. I want them to succeed. I want them to have their dreams come true.
If you read this blog, religiously, then you read me talk about my previous relationships, and what I took from them to become the best version of myself in order to be able to give that to a guy who deserves it in the future. Yes, I know I am a rare breed, I am the prize. I know what I bring to the table. And one day, a guy is going to see that… If we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.
IF you click the videos and watch them on Youtube, you will see two things:
For all those non-hockey fans, yesterday the NY Rangers named Jacob Trouba their team captain ( the team hasn’t had one in 4+ years) and one of the players on the team, Adam Fox, had an interesting quote:
So that got me thinking: Why are so many people afraid to associate themselves with people OUTSIDE their age bracket? Being that I was a Pre-K teacher since I was 20 and taught for 15 years, my job was simple: to get kids excited about learning. Not only was it to help them grow, but it was to make them understand that everyday they are are going to learn something new about the world, about themselves and about each other. It was the most fun I had, other than coaching cheerleading which I still do.
One thing is certain and it is the thing in the quote by Adam Fox that he misses the boat on: One can learn from anyone, age is only a number of how long you have been on Earth. People should have is an open mind.
I learn from people who are the most open minded and most knowledgeable. I’ve seen older people who act immature and claim they know everything and I’ve seen young people who are calm and willing to give their two cents. I have been around teenagers, college students, guys/girls in their 20s and 30s. I also associate with folks in their 40s and 50s as well. I am full-rounded.
One of my favorite memories is listening to stories from my grandma who lived 99 years and my great-aunt who is still alive at 106 ( she will be 107 in a month) The stories taught me life lessons that I was able to put to use in my life. An example was when my grandma told me to always be the bigger person, arguing with fools make you look like a fool. It’s never worth standing around and arguing if you aren’t going to find a solution to the problem.
If you read my previous blogs, you know that I am a big supporter of younger guys dating older women and older men dating younger women. The reasons were simply:
Older people have a lot of life experience. They can teach you a lot about the reality of life. On the flip side, young folks can teach you what you forget growing up. They are so full of life and ideas. They can’t wait to go out in the world and leave their mark. Its sometimes necessary to not be worried about a single thing and go do what you want to do. Older folks and younger folks can mingle, have adventures together and not have to deal with so much drama as you do when you only are interested in your age category.
I believe that someone has something that I can learn. I never let age, gender or sexuality, be a factor as to whether I should learn from them or not. To do so would be idiocy. Too bad Adam Fox only thinks he can learn from people close to his age or his age. I mean, I understand that sometimes we get comfortable, but you never grow in your comfort zone. It’s only when you embrace the unknown and take a risk that you learn a lot about life and the world you live in. Some risks are always worth taking like love, doing what you are passionate about and standing up for yourself.
Wisdom should always be shared. Every day I learn something in the industry I am in: social media. Some of those in this industry are younger than me, and they learn from me as well. Also, I have coached cheer for a very, very long time, and have learned things from those older than me and younger than me in this industry.
Imagine being a hockey player and only thinking that you are going to learn from those closest to your age? That is ridiculous! You learn from those who played the game before you as well as you learn from those young kids who are just starting out. You learn from coaches who are probably old enough to be the players dads or uncles.
The point is, you learn from people, not from their age. Age does not guarantee knowledge and knowledge can be compounded and complex at any age.
Here are a few other things that people have taught me in life to date:
1- If you worry about how people will judge you, youâll never achieve anything.
2-There wonât be âplenty of time laterâ to enjoy life. Life is short and you have NO IDEA how long you have here. Why wait to do what it is that you want to do? Donât put off your career change, relationship, or any other life desire until you reach some mythical point of readiness; it doesnât exist.
3- Itâs vital to cultivate friendships with people older and younger than you. Younger friends steep you in optimism and possibility, while older friends will ground you in wisdom. You need the perspectives of both.
4- Thereâs no quicker path to misery than conditional happiness.
If I get that promotion, I will feel happy.
If I buy that luxury car, I will feel content.
If I find a girlfriend/boyfriend, I will feel joy.
If you canât find happiness during the pursuit, it wonât last long when you reach the finish line. Find joy in the journey- that is what life is- a journey and so far I am having fun on mine.
I woke up yesterday morning and did what I usually do, open up the Twitter app to see what was trending, as what good social media experts and content creators do. Seeing two hockey players trending: Connor McDavid and Sammy Bilas and then looked up as to why they both were trending. I knew from some of the posts that it was not about hockey. I did not have to look that far to find out that Connor McDavid has a video surfacing of him drunk holding the hand of a girl and walking with her-and this girl was NOT his girlfriend Lauren Kyle.
Now, I have trashed NFL players for years on relationships and have always said that hockey players are the best athletes – they are genuine, appreciative of the fans, and just plain more fun. But that does not mean that you are going to have some guys who are NHL athletes do what guys everywhere do: cheat on their wives or girlfriends. Note: this is why some NFL players think they are being “smart” by not putting whom they are dating in their IG feeds or posts on Twitter. Two reasons: first, if there is no “proof” no one can say that they are technically “cheating” and secondly, it leaves the door wide open to sleep with as many girls as humanly possible. (Which is why you see the girl they are with in their stories- that shit disappears in 24 hours)
Back to Connor McDavid now. Everyone knows that he has been dating Lauren for quite a while. You’d have to be living under a rock on Mars to not know that he was taken. As I said on Twitter, girls do better research than the FBI; we all know your situations whether you post about them or not. With social media it’s 10x easier to figure stuff out AND there are tons of websites that actually keep track of this sort of thing. ( PLUG: Who dated who ) So, us girls know what the story is and you know what, sometimes we play stupid to it just to see what you guys are going to do. Yes, dogs can’t outsmart foxes. And some of you guys are dogs- and that term is not meant as a compliment.
Connor has NO excuse to cheat on his girlfriend. But as I have found out over time, some guys are just never happy with what they have, who they are with, and they are constantly searching for better when they already had the best. You see that A LOT with NFL players. They are never satisfied with anything. They need more money, more materialistic things, and more women. Am I surprised that a wholesome guy like Connor cheated? No. But I don’t want to hear him say, “I was drunk and had no idea what I was doing or where I was,” the video clearly shows that he did not like the fact that someone videoed him. He has to know that he is seen as public figure and whatever you do in public is fair game. He also has to know that people are going to recognize him without his uniform on too. Also, guys cheat out of anger, jealousy, or a desire for revenge. Even if their partner hasn’t cheated on them but instead if they’ve done something to upset their partner. And if you check Lauren Kyle’s IG, the last picture she posted was her in the WAG jacket at this game, so yeah they were together. Most couples scrub their social media when they break up. ( Note: if you don’t know what WAG means it refers to wives and girlfriends of high-profile sportsmen)
But what I also said on Twitter is that the girl who held him hand and walked with him, and God only knows what else they did that night, deserves as much shit as he is getting because she had to know who he was and that he was taken. I don’t want her to give an excuse that she didn’t know, especially with the crowd surrounding him and the fact that someone shouted out his name. Girls know three things: 1) If the guy is taken 2) Where they hang out and 3) how to be seen. Watching the video for like the hundredth time- she knew what she was doing. I also want to state something about Lauren Kyle and social media:- It is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL to tag her in responses on Twitter and IG talking about what Connor did. Have some dignity and also respect for her please. She’s not the one who cheated, she’s the one who got cheated on. Know the difference. As to dating athletes, this does not change my view on hockey players at all. I still think they are most down to earth guys on the planet, having met my share of them.
Switching gears, let me briefly touch on Sammy Blais for a moment. His sister supposedly graduated from either grad school or colllege and posted a picture of herself on IG. Sammy commented underneath, “Sexy babe” and the world lost its freaking ass mind! If you have a sibling then you know that siblings have inside jokes, pick on each other, and like to cause trouble with each other. Also the word sexy does not always entail looks but confidence. You all look like asses for making a terrible assumption.
Being on Twitter and seeing people post things are not true has to be the most frustrating thing! Yes there are folks who tweet “sex facts” but they leave out the facts and just tweet opinions. One of the more taboo topics that many feel uncomfortable talking about is masturbation. A survey found that 54% of people donât feel comfortable talking about masturbation; the other is orgasms.
Here are some straight up facts:
Masturbation Facts and Statistics
1- 95% of men admit to masturbating, compared to 89% of women. For married individuals, the rate is 70% for both men and women.
2- More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily. 55% of men and 48% of women masturbate at least once a week.
3-The average time porn is watched in a hotel room is 12 minutes.
Studies done by Indiana U, We-Vibe, and Tenga found that one in three men think about a celebrity when they are masturbating. In comparison, only one in five women think about a celebrity while masturbating. 69% of men will watch pornography, listen to music, look at photos or use a vibrator each time they masturbate. In comparison, only 54% of females will do the same thing. It should be noted that masturbating is not going out and “seeking sex” it is considered ” self-love” ( I use that term with a smirk) and … A recent study found that not only do 45 percent of couples watch porn together, but it’s a healthy way to bond. The study was published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Communication about sex is a major component to a great relationship, and if you can work a mutual interest for porn into your sex life it’s not only a learning experience, but can add some spice to those vanilla positions.
Still, in 2022, though when people talk about sex, they talk about it from the male perspective only. In a few studies done in the past few years, we find that women perceived as more open to casual sex are attributed to having less morals and are seen as less smart than women are not so open to casual sex as men are. Greater female objectification may be prompted by observersâ negative stereotypes of promiscuous women. Focusing on a womanâs body promotes objectification and decreases perceptions of her mental capacity and moral status. The myth that it is completely normal for heterosexual men to see women to whom they are sexually attracted as sex objects needs to be retired. The notion that men can have as much casual sex as they want but women can not is absurd. Men are aroused just by glancing at a female arm, ankle, calf, thigh, stomach â even without ever seeing the womanâs face. Those legs, calves, arms, etc. are sexual objects. Thatâs why there are innumerable websites featuring them. There is nothing analogous for women. Of course, a woman can be aroused seeing a particularly handsome and masculine man. But there are no websites for women to stare at menâs legs or other male body parts. Women are told not to dress too sexy, because if they do then there must be “asking for it” when it fact women are not at all asking for anything, they do though have a right to dress however they desire. There is that myth that women have a little black dress and men have their little black book. Women wear the little black dress to into a man’s little black book. But again, no one ever views that little black dress as just a dress a woman loves or wants to wear, there is always a sexual thing attached to it. But one thing that remains constant year in and year out is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure. This idea, needs to retired faster than Tom Brady plans to retire at some point.
Here is the kicker: NOT every normal heterosexual man who sees a woman as a sexual object can also completely respect her mind, her character, and everything else non-sexual about her. You have athletes, mostly NFL and NBA who think its a flex to date and sleep with as many women as they want. That’s not the true flex. Women are not prized animals that are owned by a man, so why do we still focus on men as the sexual being and not the other way around?
Women are told to please a man. Men are not told to please women. About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances. On the other hand, It’s clear the male orgasm is strongly selected and it makes sense , if they don’t reach orgasm, they don’t leave offspring. That’s why all we see are articles on how men can be satisfied but not women. It would be helpful if women knew as much about their ‘clits’ as men do about their penises. Women needs time to get off and, foreplay is the most important thing. It helps in vaginal lubrication, which is required for deep penetration and better sexual experience. Your sexual activity doesn’t need to be longer, but better. Women can get the orgasm even without penetration.
It’s not something to be ashamed about either. It’s part of life and it is part of having an intimate relationship. Too much emphasis is placed on models of female sexuality that are created by Hollywood and the pornography industry. But to sort of act as if that’s all that needs to be done for women is just silly. This is a total denial of the facts.
Stephanie 's Corner 