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more to come!
Just Gonna Leave This Here
2025: Unrealistic Body Image Finally Enters The Chat
We live in a culture that praises weight loss. The message we’re sending is that you only look good because you lost weight.
Fat phobia- because of our intent, we perpetuate diet culture, and fat phobia when we compliment someone on their smaller body. Our society praises weight loss as if it’s the best thing a person could ever do. Not only that, but we comment on people’s bodies without having any idea what is going on in their lives.
Last week Jennifer Love Hewitt made more women in their 40s so happy that someone in Hollywood actually looks like them. She didn’t run off to use ozempic and she didn’t go ahead and do a crazy-ass diet. She is what women are SUPPOSED to look like and she was so proud of her body!
We “assume” that their weight loss is “positive”, when it could be due to a chronic illness or an eating disorder. All unsolicited comments about someone’s body are bad and shouldn’t be praised because no one asked for them. Even if someone asks, we shouldn’t even give them one when actually we should take it a step further and tell people that they don’t want to receive those comments.
We should be telling people to focus on who that person is not by what that person looks like. If only people did this on social media.
Social media is the perfect environment, unfortunately, where the diet culture flourishes. It thrives on comments from men who think they know that certain bodies are “better and hotter” than others. Yes, guys who are losing their hair, have beer bellies, droopy chests and butts, are telling women that they all need to look like a goddamn Barbie doll, when they themselves are so far away from representing Ken.
Women who already have suffered from a body image disorder, get triggered by those comments and now are drawn back into the diet culture. And for what? To please all the men who you don’t know on social media, who basically have their own insecurities about their own looks and projected on women?
The sad reality is, if you look on social media and even dating apps, all men want this fantasy woman who is 5 feet tall 5 inches, 130 pounds, size 2, blonde hair, and blue eyes, who accepts bare minimum, and who could pass for either a Victoria’s Secret model or a Barbie doll. What they don’t realize is that a woman’s looks is never going to raise their children. Her mindset will.
Men never focus on who a woman really is, speaking in terms of her personality, mentality, and character. But they only focus on how hot she looks so his teammates, and friends can be extremely jealous of his arm candy.
Oh, once you hit 35 and you’re a woman you’re old and decrepit according to social media.
If only men could stop being, “so full of themselves,” and stop trying to “fit in” focusing on loving a woman for who they truly are. But instead, they don’t want to embrace that main character energy. They wanna focus on what isn’t instead of what is.
I guess the question really is this : do we really want to spend our lives agonizing over trying to make others happy instead of making each day we live the best days we’ve ever had? When are we going to realize that nobody at your funeral is going to say the following: “ I remember so-and-so, she was a size 4 all her life, she was always so skinny, she was always looking hot and beautiful, etc”
They are going to remember how you made others feel, how you lived life and the kindness you showed others . That’s a life worth remembering.
Oh, so you’re in a relationship with an athlete
If you follow a lot of athletes on Instagram, you will see that they use the feature of stories very often and very well. They tend to put the girls they are “dating” or even those they are “married” to in those stories and not on their feed. Why?
A story only lasts 24 hours and then it disappears. Not everyone will technically see said story of you posing with the girl, so they have a better chance at hiding a romance while at the same time of letting the girl think they are exclusive because they “posted” about them together.
The MAIN excuse you will hear from these guys as to why they don’t wish to post on the feed about their relationships are the following: “I want to keep my life private,” or, “It’s no one’s business who I am with and what I am doing.” Or my favorite, “All the important people in our circle already know we are together, why do a bunch of strangers need to know?”
This here is straight up nonsense!
You are already using a social media platform so your life is not private. And you already started posting about other areas in your life, the main areas of your life can’t be kept private now. Let me add that all those who do have private IG accounts look like they are HIDING things NOT that they want to have a “private life” as an athlete.
So what is the motive of an athlete who doesn’t post up about their married or even who they are dating? They do this to appear single and to “keep their options open,” so when they go on the road and use the dating app Tinder, girls who try and look them up are lied too about them being in a relationship. Although some naive girls will still believe an athlete when they tell them that they are “not happy” in their relationship and that they are planning of getting a divorce when they aren’t.
Let me also add that I know a former NFL player and his wife and on Instagram, and one day she posted that she laughs at all the women who end up in her husband’s DMS, because they don’t know that she reads their private messages… (insert laughing out loud emoji)
Remember it’s not the actual social media that ruins relationships. People who don’t respect relationship boundaries do. There’s a difference between private and secret. And if you are a secret, then you are NOT respected nor a priority.
Also note that if you ask a guy why he hasn’t posted you up, check out his body language and how he flips the script and says that YOU are acting insecure, YOU don’t trust him, etc. It is a clear give away that he is LYING to you and that he wants to keep his options open or that he is already cheating on you.
That is why MEN should POST UP his lady/woman first. That shows you EXACTLY how he feels about you. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than any words he ever says to you. When a man posts up his girl it signifies that he is PROUD of his woman, that he LOVES her, and he doesn’t want ANY OTHER MAN to have her! When he doesn’t, you are just a little toy in his game. That’s why basic chicks need to STEP up their game. In my experience people settle because a part of them believe that is all they deserve or because they are desperate, are afraid of being alone . They may feel that they aren’t WORTHY of something better, even though she CLEARLY is!
It’s all about the mindset. One day, when I was around 24, A complete stranger in a coffee shop overheard my conversation and said, “You know what, you are a big jar, but you think you’re a small one.”
It took years for me to understand what he meant.
I settled a lot. I thought small. I had a mediocre job, a mediocre relationship, a mediocre life.
I didn’t put myself first. I failed to appreciate the present. I did not know how to make the most of my talents and gifts.
After a few years, and lots of hard work, travels, relationships, after finally accepting that I am the captain of my own life and that I should put myself first, I saw my jar getting bigger and bigger.
Now, I am in love with my life – one that is filled with joy, excitement, and possibilities. Everyday is spectacular. That is the type of life I wish for everyone.
Stop thinking so small. You are worth everything you deserve and more.
Men, The Bear, Bumble And Harrison Butker
I wasn’t playing on writing a blog like this, but seeing how the landscape has been against women even more than it has been as of late, I had to put my thoughts into words.
For starters, if you are not on Tiktok then you missed a lot.
There was this dude who seriously looks like the guy who secretly films women getting dressed in the changing room at a department store, started us off, by telling us that men don’t have to accept women’s rejection : AKA he told men that is OKAY to RAPE them. I highly doubt that he is a “dating coach” which in itself is creepy. But what sane “coach” would tell men that women are forbidden to reject him? My thinking is that this guy never had a date back in high school and/or the head cheerleader rejected him and he is so scarred by that, he has hateful views now towards all women.
If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a guy who put out the question, if women were in a forest would they want to be in a forest alone with a MAN OR A BEAR? He was not asking which one women would choose, technically, but it took off on Tiktok and women every where were answering the bear. You can imagine how much this triggered guys EVERYWHERE!
The men, oh sorry, the boys that were triggered proved over and over WHY women preferred to be alone with a bear instead of a man. When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them. And if we look at the culture that is being thrown at women today, I think it is safe to say, this is why women would choose a bear.
Here are some reasons why women choose the bear in case men are still confused:
A- No one would question us about what I was wearing, why I was wearing what I was wearing, and If what I was wearing was to lead on any man to believe I wanted sex.
B- A Bear would not film it and send it to his friends and post it online.
C- No one will question if the bear attacked really happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the saying, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
By the way, there’s a reason women are warned not to hike or camp alone, and it’s not because of bears.
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. RAINN ( Rape Abuse, Incest Network) says on average, there are nearly 450,000 victims of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States. According to North America Bear Center- black bears – the most common bear in the United States – kill less than one person per year. On average, 28 people in the United States die each year from lightning strikes, according to all U.S. lightning deaths reported from 2006 through 2021
So, when women are saying that they FEEL SAFER in the FOREST/WOODS alone with a bear than with a strange man, and men, instead of trying to make things BETTER for women, are triggered by it and instead of trying to say, “Men should not rape, men should not act like pigs when it comes to women,” They are trying to gaslight, manipulate and force women to feel crazy and stupid for saying a bear. Then you hear guys ask the question why women who are abused and assaulted never come forward or come forward years later:
As many as 90% of those survivors never report their abuse to law enforcement, and more than 30% will never report their abuse to anyone (National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children).
What Happens To Rapists When They Are Caught And Reported?
- 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years. Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison. Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail.
- If a rape is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
- If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
- If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of conviction.
- If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
- So even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.
Not only are we talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia.
An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”
THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to have NHL PLAYERS on a podcast – you are rejected AUTOMATICALLY.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to develop friendships with hockey players, THEY NEED TO BE CERTAIN WOMEN –
Beyond sexist barriers within the sport, there are misogynist ideas engrained that position women as objects and conquests within hockey culture- That is why you ONLY SEE WOMEN WHO 1- ACCEPT BARE MINIMUM, 2- WILL NOT OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT HOW OTHER WOMEN ARE TREATED, AND 3- WHO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!
Misogyny was undeniably evidenced in the alleged gang-sexual assault committed by members of Canada’s 2018 World Junior team, in the subsequent cover-up, and in the revelation that Hockey Canada had a fund that was used consistently and covertly to protect players.
The deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny within hockey culture contribute to these brutal acts of dehumanization. Yet, these connections remain unrecognizable because people are unable to confront the culture that permeates their existence. In addition, as this does not directly impact players, such as the consequences of playing through pain, the calls to confront sexism/misogyny are largely not coming from male players. Unfortunately, there is more impact when people within hockey resist the harmful impacts of the culture as people are more inclined to listen to and empathize with the protagonists in our national narrative and because status is used to legitimize particular perspectives. If current player’s voices are needed, and yet they cannot recognize the objectification of girls and women, how will sexism and misogyny ever be recognized and meaningfully challenged if it remains unrecognizable to those within the culture? Yet, as recent current events have revealed, this resistance is the problem at hand!
AND JUST THIS WEEK, A Native American woman who worked for the Chicago Blackhawks is suing the organization and its charity, the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, accusing them of breach of oral contract, fraud and sexual harassment.
Then of course we have the dating app Bumble who decided to tell women to KEEP HOOKING UP with guys on their app because they are losing money and that in turn is all they care about! Seriously, I keep telling you all how TERRIBLE dating apps are and they filled with men who ONLY want to hook up, rape women, cheat on partners.. . etc.
Bumble fumbled, are now working quickly fix the damage caused by an ad campaign that pokes fun at celibacy and abstinence. They changed HOW the app worked, which pissed off A TON of women, and then did this ad. They did apologize, but.. THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR!
Now here’s the KICKER, literally, the kicker in all of this …
The Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butkler, said at very conservative Catholic College told women that they shouldn’t be out here, climbing up the corporate ladder that they should be home, taking care of their husband and children.
If women decide to do that, that’s their choice it’s not for a man to decide a woman’s fate.
Which is kind of funny since his mom, Elizabeth Keller Butker is an accomplished academic who holds a degree in Chemistry from Smith College as well as a Master’s degree in Medical Physics.
How did his mom somehow raised him to be a MISOGYNISTIC & SEXIST man?
BTW Harrison, if you are reading this: you’re a kicker you don’t do hard things and you STILL miss.
I have NOTHING against women who CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, if that’s what you want be and that’s what you desire then go for it but for a man who kicks balls for a living to tell other women that their dreams don’t matter and that they should just be in the kitchen is what’s wrong; it’s 2024 not 1964.
Women can do a lot of different things and wear different hats and that triggers some men who can’t do hard things.
Now, as a Catholic woman, I don’t agree AT ALL with what Harrison has said AND here are the Catholic teachings that I have been taught:
1- We all were created to serve God. We all have a special purpose, that purpose is not the same for everyone.
2- Each of us were shaped differently. We all were given different Spiritual gifts, Personalities, and Abilities. What you are ABLE to do, God wants you to do. No one else can play your role.
3- Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Your purpose is to show love to others.
God doesn’t want everyone to do the same work.
God doesn’t hate any of us based on race, sexuality, or weakness.
God made us and our life started at conception.
Those in the church that preach otherwise are preaching their own agenda. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Maybe Harrison forgot this. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. I think as a society we have truly have forgotten about love and how to truly love each other.
Love only embraces, and never attacks. It is of the Spirit, and thus incapable of attack.
What a beautiful thought.
I told you, too bad you didn’t listen
If you read my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed,” I warned you that dating apps were all hoaxes designed to use your heart strings to make money. And this week we learn that Match Group, the owner of Tinder, Hinge, and the League, aren’t designed to help users find love, but rather, to empty their pockets and that they are a far cry from being, “designed to be deleted,” which is Hinge’s slogan.
In the lawsuit we find that the six plaintiffs accuse the dating apps, Hinge, that the algorithm predicts a user will find most attractive are locked up in “rose jail’–where daters are required to send these profiles a rose, rather than a regular like, of which they only get one per week–and TikTokers offering dissatisfied swipers “hacks” to get around such an obstacle.
Also on other dating apps, such as Tinder, essentially, the app used an Elo rating system, which is the same method used to calculate the skill levels of chess players: You rose in the ranks based on how many people swiped right on (“liked”) you, but that was weighted based on who the swiper was. The more right swipes that person had, the more their right swipe on you meant for your score.
The League, is as snobby as it sounds…
The app encourages you to choose high-quality photos of you smiling and doing things that interest you, like hiking or going to dinner with friends, rather than posting tons of party photos or selfies in bad lighting. They want you to show off and send the message that you’re cool and attractive. You have to link the app to your LinkedIn and other social media. By doing so, The League automatically inputs your education and career to your profile, so everyone can see how smart and accomplished you are. The app tracks how often you log in, if you respond to people’s messages, how picky you are, if you’re nice to your concierge and other activity. Your matches can also flag your profile and report you if you’re “flaky” or rude through messages or on a date.
THE KICKER: You only get three matches per day (though you can pay to see more prospects). Once you match, you have 21 days to chat before the match and your chat expires. While an expired chat history is still viewable, you won’t be able to engage with that person anymore. The membership is EXTREMELY expensive for a few more “exclusives” that are nothing of measure to even note.
Hinge, makes money through in-app purchases and advertisements. Most of Hinge’s revenue comes from in-app purchases such as boosts, roses, and premium subscriptions. These purchases unlock features on the app to make it easier and more convenient. Another way that Hinge makes money is through advertisements. Whereas the free version lets you “like” up to 8 profiles per day, and if someone’s like you back, it’s a “match.” From there, you send each other unlimited messages and even do video calls.
Remember, there are many studies that suggest that couples who meet using dating apps are slightly more likely to have less satisfying and less stable marriages than couples who meet offline.
As I have said from the beginning, dating apps are great for finding short-term romances, but they’re not conducive to building sustainable relationships. Dating apps don’t work because they are designed to be fast, easy and casual. They’re not good for getting to know someone well and building a strong foundation for a future relationship. Too bad, most don’t listen to me.
Are you basic or extra?
You have women out here in the world who pretend to to not have high standards just so they can land a dude who give them the bare minimum. First off, having high standards is NOT the same as being high maintenance… something most guys are WRONG about and clearly don’t understand.
See, guys should want to level up with a woman who levels up, but they don’t. They allow their egos to get the best of them and instead “settle” for a girl who only wants the bare minimum and who is basic.
Let’s look at professional athletes for a moment… Think about this: There is not one pro-athlete that comes to mind who is with a woman of substance. (A woman who is extra and who brings more attention) Even Tom Brady could not hack being with Giselle anymore, whom is extremely extra! That is why it is interesting to see Kelce with Taylor Swift. ( Which looks like a relationship for publicly) If you think back to Taylor’s relationship with Harry Styles, you will see exactly what I am saying. The guy is the one who needs to be the one with the attention, the bag and the benefits; not the woman in the relationship.
People ask me all the time why men don’t want to level up and care so much about being in the forefront of the relationship; the woman takes a backseat to the man, especially a man who is an athlete. The reason is simple. A guy chooses a basic girl because a girl who is extra won’t force him to be a better man and won’t put up with his bullshit.
That is why on dating apps, women are fed up with men’s shit. They aren’t thirsty as guys think they are anymore. Us women are tired of the men who want to hook up, men who want to use us as eye candy, men who want a mother instead of a girlfriend or a wife. Women are tired of telling men to ”man up” too. It’s at the point that women in their 30s and 40s are choosing to be single. They have had it. And this pisses off men who think that they can “trick” women into chasing them. Ha! Women don’t chase, they replace. Girls chase and that is why men are with basic girls.
High achieving women who are independent and go-getters are usually left alone by men who have this stupid ideal woman still stuck in their heads. Um, guys, your ideal woman DOES NOT exist. And if you are still basing everything on looks, you’re going to be disappointed as she ages. Some guys don’t want to build with a woman either, they just expect her to take care of the household and be that little perfect submissive wife too. Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble, but those days are LONG GONE as it is not 1950 anymore.
So here we are at the crossroads of dating and relationships. What is going to happen when these men finally wake up and see how they are shaping the dating culture for their daughters? And what is going to happen when these basic women get tired of being called out?
Time will tell, won’t it?
Games People Play
Some men simply like to be dominating in a relationship; even when a man likes to keep you hanging without giving any clear indication of how he feels about you, he wants to dominate the game. It has been said that boys play games, but I can honestly tell you that men do it too. Boys are amateurs though when it comes to really playing “the game,” while men know how to dangle a carrot to have us run after them. (Or, so they think!) By manipulating you, he can ensure that his needs are met first. This behavior is often driven by insecurity or jealousy. But here is the part that men don’t get:
Girls are players too. Now, I have seen the quotes online before that girls chase, women replace, and that part if 100% truth, but that does NOT mean that women don’t play games. We know how to get our guys right where we want them. Seriously, it’s not that hard. To turn the tables, it’s time to learn how to play a guy at his own game. Here are three key components to giving him a taste of his own medicine, and why not even a little more? He deserves it for playing with your heart.
1- He’s used to you liking all his photos, commenting on them, texting him multiple times a day. In other words, he’s used to you chasing him. Time to flip the script girl, and do him ACTUALLY as he does you. So if he ONLY views your IG story, you view his. If he totally keeps you on read, you keep him on read ( if he is talking to you) Whatever HE does to you- you do it back BUT with a little more flair and fanfare.
Make him work harder for your time; you’re not an easy catch- remember YOU ARE the catch!
2) While you’re busy trying to win him over, make sure you spend time enjoying yourself. Go out with friends, meet other people, and if he’s there, remember to have a good time and not give him all your undivided attention. Let him earn that. Let him be the first one to approach you. Don’t get sucked into the game when you see him even talking to other girls. Such men enjoy teasing women and rocking their emotions, and often do so without any guilt.
3) When he sees himself falling for you, he’s going to pull out all the stops in hopes of holding onto the control. This isn’t going to work overnight either. But if you really want this guy, it will do exactly what you want it to do. No messaging him out of the blue or just because on IG, no texting him either. If he messages you or texts you first, then yes, respond to him, but not right away. Let him know that you are busy, that you have a life. Let the guy know that you have other options. Guys hate it when they see that you know your options are wide open.
The key here to to think like a guy and totally disregard his feelings. Be savage.
At first it feels like shit, but then as you keep doing it, it is very empowering.
There are about four other things you can do to play a guy like he plays you, but I keep those close to the chest. If you gals would like to know what those are… feel free to contact me on IG Twitter X or Facebook and DM me. And I will share those tips with you.
I’m a vibe that no one can ever replace
So as I said in the last blog post, I had some really interesting dating stories to share. If you read this blog then you know that I am in these chats with girls who talk about their dating lives and the stupid, narcissistic, jerks of men that they either date or are interested in from dating apps.
Before I continue, don’t reach out to me to tell me that your long lost cousin found his wife on a dating app- yes I get it… that was the point of these apps YEARS ago. Today they are all filled with either married men cheating on their wives, young guys who think it’s a flex to sleep with as many as possible, or even catfishers who are trying to scam women out of their money.
I was thinking that we all what the stories are going to be- so instead of telling you the stories, I will tell you about the DMs I have received asking for my dating advice:
Question 1: For a first date this guy asked me out on a coffee date? Is that showing him that my standards are low, when they aren’t anywhere close to that?
MY ANSWER: A cute cafe with a romantic ambiance and the best coffee in town is the perfect way to lay the foundation for that special connection you’re hoping to build. Coffee shop dates are the most socially acceptable way of meeting someone, spending time with that person, and keeping a nice conversation going to get to know them better. These meetings don’t have to be necessarily romantic in nature. A date shouldn’t be about the the amount of money spent, it should be about getting to know someone, feeling a vibe with someone and creating memories. Meeting someone new is not always easy for everyone. And to some, they have anxiety when it comes to doing this. A coffee date is a simple way of just breaking the ice with someone having fun, not to mention, and coffee. It also allows both people to see the other person’s personality and feel relaxed.
Finally, if you plan a highly elaborate romantic date that involves a full-course meal, and perhaps some wine in a five star restaurant, it will automatically build up a lot of expectation. Here, in a cafe, there are no expectations.
( this is why I thought of the segment, “Coffee With The Captain” because simply it is a fun thing to do- have coffee and talk hockey/life. It’s a relaxing atmosphere – yes, I am STILL waiting on Jacob Trouba… this is why if women had to wait for men the entire human race would have died out by now. – which leads me to the next question.. )
Question 2- Is okay for me to ask a guy out?
MY ANSWER: Like I said above if women had to wait for men the entire human race would have died out by now. Seriously guys take so long to get around to ask a girl out. They overthink things to the point where they literally scared themselves to death and then either think they shouldn’t ask her out or they prolong the asking part.
There are so many Tiktok’s and IG videos that women post that say shit like, “Women were made to be chased.” Sure the guy can still chase a girl but we can hint to the guy that we like him and make him confident enough to ask us out OR we can do the asking. I see no harm in asking for the 1st date, then the pressure of the 2nd goes on the guy. He can then “chase” you for the 2nd.
Question 3- Is it always a bad move to date someone just out of a relationship?
MY ANSWER:
There really isn’t such a thing as “too early” to date after a breakup. Then there are folks who say it could easily be a major red flag because they haven’t taken the proper time to heal. I say, that it is not a one-size fits all situation. I think it’s best to start that relationship off as friends and just slowly move into the relationship romantically. BUT.. if that particular person that just broke up or divorced someone was not emotionally or mentally invested in the relationship as part of the reason they broke up, then I think the romantic side of the relationship will happen a lot quicker, especially if they are emotionally and mentally drawn to you. But to each it’s own. It’s okay to start ANY relationship off SLOW. We have to remember that it’s not a race.
The Diary Of A Social Gal Update
For all those who follow my Youtube channel I will posting many, many updates, behind the scenes, and fun content. If you aren’t subscribed, you should be!
Here’s a quickie update anyway-
1- I am DONE coaching cheerleading. NOT done Choreographing routines – so if you know a a team that needs routine that not only will win, but will have all eyes on them, you can DM me on Instagram
2- I am on the path to becoming a CHEER JUDGE! I am so excited! It definitely is my calling. I was made to be a cheer judge! So excited so I will be updating on Youtube as I go through the process with these organizations. It’s an exciting time for me.
3- I am writing 2 books at the same time. Yes, just like I did a few years ago. I am writing The Championship Mindset which will be a workbook and also audio that you will be able to get if you subscribe to my podcast – $2.99 a month is worth it. Not only will you get the audio version of the book, but you will also get weekly exclusive podcasts for subscribers only. I also will be giving weekly updates that are not part of the book and times when I can go one on one coaching. More to come…
4- I am working in NYC – my office space is there and it is living out a dream. I am THE CITY girl! IF you have been following me, then you know how I feel about manifesting and walking the path by doing it scared and doing unprepared. This is part of the Championship Mindset which is for teams but also for folks that want to live a championship life.
There’s a lot of awesome content that I will be rolling out. And yes, even some controversial blogs… of course, like duh, I was born a savage, did you expect anything less?
No- my attitude hasn’t changed. You’re just seeing me for the first time.
The exciting news is finally out: My Website is complete! Yes… ALL my links are in ONE place!
Click here to check it out!
Fashion, Fun, Fitness, Cheerleading, and Shop links are all there. Not to mention my social media company’s link is there if you need to purchase content! PLUS you can hire me to do a personal cheer for you, friends, family, teammates, etc! Yes, I am on Cameo!
I will NEW dating blog coming out soon- oh my God the stories I have from girls on dating apps… holy moly… also I have a few cool project announcements that I am working on.
Ohh.. here’s a video for Ryan Lindgren. Click to watch
Update: Still waiting to hear from Jacob Trouba in regards to doing coffee with the captain. I even suggested he bring Vinny and of course Ryan with him so maybe then they would be comfortable doing it with each other and also Ryan could meet me in a fun setting so he would be comfortable too… I want them to have fun with the segment but I know it’s not a comfy thing for some dudes.. ya know with a girl.
But I guess Jacob’s tongue is tied up at the moment… ( insert eye roll) but if I was a guy and I asked him to do a podcast segment with me, I’d probably would have heard from him by now and wouldn’t have to keep asking. So don’t tell me if you are guy reading this that is not true, because women STILL aren’t accepted in certain scenarios where sports are concerned.
People ask me how I plan on doing the segment and that’s an easy answer! I will record it ( audio only ) and of course a few photos and a teaser video that is like 30 seconds. I am not planning of videoing this… first off WAY too long and audio is enough.
Oh, I am still waiting to see Alexis Lafrenière to sign his contract.. would LOVE to add him to the segment too.
OHHHH… Can’t believe I forgot to mention this…
Follow me on Twitter if you want to see some REALLY Fun Hot Mess Summer videos and yes I will tag those who need to be tagged!
I really am not posting them on IG.. but I will put them in my stories to get to Twitter. Although I have this really cool idea to post a reel that has me doing…. nah, why spoil it?
Date apps are for dorks. Women are those dorks.
First let me start with the study: Research shows dating apps like Hinge, Bumble or Tinder can be associated with negative impacts on mental health. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, there is a link between using dating apps and experiencing loneliness, dissatisfaction with life and feeling excluded from the world. The research points out that it is a paradox, as people have more ways to connect than ever before yet many of those connections can feel empty, fleeting, and insecure.
Also, I will note that if you read either my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2d Ed” or you read “Relationship Impossible” you read the information I gave you that, when it comes to dating apps, there is such a thing as choice overload, whereas, people tend to pick the wrong partner due to the fact that there are way too many options to choose from.
Now to the funny part of this: When I told a bunch of women the following in this dating group I am in, most of these women were so sensitive to the following truth:
NO high quality man is going to be on a dating site.
I know it’s the “easiest” way to meet guys although social media isn’t that bad of an option… BUT the high quality man that you ladies are looking for aren’t on dating sites! The whole concept of a dating app is for women to chase after men, whereas high value men don’t want to be chased they want to be the ones who pursue. Now that doesn’t mean that women can’t flirt with men because sometimes they need a little push and telling them that you are interested in them is a good thing, but a high valued man is not on a dating app. If you notice, the only men you find on a dating app are all the men who are those who are cheating, are married, lie, and some are even rapists.
Why women think it will be different because they are on Bumble or Hinge, or are paying for the app is an insane idea! EVERY dating app works the same way! The algorithm is just as it is in finding movies you will enjoy on Netflix and all those guys whom you reject, are recycled back into your choices every 30 days or so.
I seriously roll my eyes every time a woman in these chats I am in post a photo of the guy whom she is talking to on an app to find out the “fax” about him and the answers are pretty much like this:
“So I have been seeing and talking to a guy nonstop for the past month or so. We were supposed to hangout Saturday but I cancelled on him last minute because I found out a mutual friend had also been talking to him and he tried to schedule a date the same day as ours but earlier in the day it kinda made me feel a bit grossed out and I’m not sure what to do.”
“Omg! We talked for a while and he kept flaking on plans and kept saying he was traveling, sick, busy, etc. but wanted to keep texting. Eventually I stopped responding.”
“On his Bumble profile, he selected ‘Wants someday’ for kids. I hope this was a mistake bc he has grandchildren and he is actually 67, not 47 like it shows on his profile. He also lied about his age on a site called MillionaireMatch and says he is 51 on there. His desired age range on that site is 22-39. He goes by the name …., but his real name is …..”
“4 kids 4baby moms denies the existence of his kids Alcoholic/abusive looks for woman to support him.”
This is ALL you see in these groups. And women WONDER why they haven’t met a high quality man yet on a fucking dating site? HAHAHA… seriously these women are stupid and naive to believe that the love of their life is on a dating app. AND a high quality man for that matter!
You have a better chance at being struck by lightning than you do finding a high quality man on a dating app. And then there are the women who comment in the group chat like this:
“I met my guy of 7/8 months on …. ”
Yes, good for you. Ask him, did he take down his dating profile on all the sites yet? Watch him squirm while answering. Remember, there are MARRIED men on these apps not to mention athletes who are married or in relationships who look for their hook up on the road.
Here are places to go meet HIGH QUALITY MEN this summer:
1- Nightclubs
2-Lounges
3-Sporting Events
4- Juice bars
5-Nice Coffee Shops ( Not Starbucks)
6- Exclusive Gyms
7- Social Clubs
8- Airport
9- High-end Spas
10-Tennis clubs and Golf Courses
11-Charity Events
12-Art Galleries
13-Open Houses ( obviously it’s a million dollar listing)
14-Nice Hotel Bars
The list can probably even be longer… but the point is… NO high Valued Man is going to be on Match, Ok Cupid, Hinge, Tinder, or even Bumble. I will even say on Million Dollar Match as well. Those guys are the scum of the Earth looking for hook ups, looking to scam you, looking to use you or looking to unfortunately to sexually assault you. And if I insulted anyone by saying this, sorry but not sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, doesn’t it?
Just because you deny it’s the truth doesn’t make it less true!
Stephanie 's Corner 