Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Date apps are for dorks. Women are those dorks.

First let me start with the study: Research shows dating apps like Hinge, Bumble or Tinder can be associated with negative impacts on mental health. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, there is a link between using dating apps and experiencing loneliness, dissatisfaction with life and feeling excluded from the world. The research points out that it is a paradox, as people have more ways to connect than ever before yet many of those connections can feel empty, fleeting, and insecure.

Also, I will note that if you read either my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2d Ed” or you read “Relationship Impossible” you read the information I gave you that, when it comes to dating apps, there is such a thing as choice overload, whereas, people tend to pick the wrong partner due to the fact that there are way too many options to choose from.

Now to the funny part of this: When I told a bunch of women the following in this dating group I am in, most of these women were so sensitive to the following truth:

NO high quality man is going to be on a dating site. 

I know it’s the “easiest” way to meet guys although social media isn’t that bad of an option… BUT the high quality man that you ladies are looking for aren’t on dating sites! The whole concept of a dating app is for women to chase after men, whereas high value men don’t want to be chased they want to be the ones who pursue.  Now that doesn’t mean that women can’t flirt with men because sometimes they need a little push and telling them that you are interested in them is a good thing, but a high valued man is not on a dating app. If you notice, the only men you find on a dating app are all the men who are those who are cheating, are married, lie, and some are even rapists.

Why women think it will be different because they are on Bumble or Hinge, or are paying for the app is an insane idea! EVERY dating app works the same way! The algorithm is just as it is in finding movies you will enjoy on Netflix and all those guys whom you reject, are recycled back into your choices every 30 days or so.

I seriously roll my eyes every time a woman in these chats I am in post a photo of the guy whom she is talking to on an app to find out the “fax” about him and the answers are pretty much like this:

“So I have been seeing and talking to a guy nonstop for the past month or so. We were supposed to hangout Saturday but I cancelled on him last minute because I found out a mutual friend had also been talking to him and he tried to schedule a date the same day as ours but earlier in the day it kinda made me feel a bit grossed out and I’m not sure what to do.”

“Omg! We talked for a while and he kept flaking on plans and kept saying he was traveling, sick, busy, etc. but wanted to keep texting. Eventually I stopped responding.”

“On his Bumble profile, he selected ‘Wants someday’ for kids. I hope this was a mistake bc he has grandchildren and he is actually 67, not 47 like it shows on his profile. He also lied about his age on a site called MillionaireMatch and says he is 51 on there. His desired age range on that site is 22-39. He goes by the name …., but his real name is …..”

“4 kids 4baby moms denies the existence of his kids Alcoholic/abusive looks for woman to support him.”

This is ALL you see in these groups. And women WONDER why they haven’t met a high quality man yet on a fucking dating site? HAHAHA… seriously these women are stupid and naive to believe that the love of their life is on a dating app. AND a high quality man for that matter!
You have a better chance at being struck by lightning than you do finding a high quality man on a dating app. And then there are the women who comment in the group chat like this:

“I met my guy of 7/8 months on …. ”

Yes, good for you. Ask him, did he take down his dating profile on all the sites yet? Watch him squirm while answering. Remember, there are MARRIED men on these apps not to mention athletes who are married or in relationships who look for their hook up on the road.

Here are places to go meet HIGH QUALITY MEN this summer:

1- Nightclubs
2-Lounges
3-Sporting Events
4- Juice bars
5-Nice Coffee Shops ( Not Starbucks)
6- Exclusive Gyms
7- Social Clubs
8- Airport
9- High-end Spas
10-Tennis clubs and Golf Courses
11-Charity Events
12-Art Galleries
13-Open Houses ( obviously it’s a million dollar listing)
14-Nice Hotel Bars

The list can probably even be longer… but the point is… NO high Valued Man is going to be on Match, Ok Cupid, Hinge, Tinder, or even Bumble. I will even say on Million Dollar Match as well. Those guys are the scum of the Earth looking for hook ups, looking to scam you, looking to use you or looking to unfortunately to sexually assault you. And if I insulted anyone by saying this, sorry but not sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, doesn’t it?
Just because you deny it’s the truth doesn’t make it less true!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I’m doing

If you follow this blog religiously ( and seriously, who doesn’t シ) You know that my company does a variety of things, mostly content creation and social media, but we also go back to the main start of my blog about 15 years ago, and talk about dating/relationships and I have written best selling books on the subject.

This year we started to wet our feet once again in the fashion world and also expanding our knowledge in the cheer industry as well as my creating different segments of my podcast.

We dipped our feet into some other areas too, that for the moment didn’t pan out, but that we may get back to at a later time as well.

I sat thinking the past 2 weeks, especially during my birthday week when I was taking some time off for myself and wanted to figure out what it is that I really want my brand to represent. You want to always innovate but you don’t want to do too many things that cause you to lose your identity.

So here’s what you can expect from me from here on out:

1) Fashion on Poshmark ( yes, including panties シ) LINK CLICK HERE

I will be doing more fashion stuff- even men’s fashion using this link. I will tie together my fashion videos with the site as well. And yes, sell some great fashion at reasonable prices including MY OWN DESIGNS!


2) Podcast

Of course my award winning podcast will keep going! I have changed it up significantly since I started back in 2017. But I will now add EXCLUSIVE CONTENT that you will have to pay for. The price will be $2.99 a month and I will have exclusive contests that I then will use Twitter to find the winner. I also will use the exclusive content as a way to continue conversations from the podcast itself, have guests, and maybe even thrown in a little more racy stuff… ★♫

Follow the podcast here —> CLICK
Follow my twitter feed —> CLICK

3) Books

I have written some great books which I take so much pride in simply because writing a book is much more than “just writing” it. It’s the cover art, editing, getting an audience excited about it way before it’s published, etc.
Yes, I have written 2 dating/relationship books which simply show you how I have grown in my opinions as well as give you updated information where dating apps are. BUT .. did you know that I have written some Young Adult novels as well?

“The Diary of A Drama Queen” is a book I am mostly proud of as it took me over 7 years to finish. And now I am back in wanting to provide some more great books that show my creativity so I am starting to write the sequel called, “Drama in the City” which I hope will be released next year. BUT I plan to share with you updates on the progress, how I write, how I go about creating the book, etc through my Youtube Channel ( besides posting some fun other content too!)

To Follow the Youtube Channel —> CLICK

4) Cheerleading/Fitness

If you don’t know, I have been in the cheer industry for a long time! I started back in the day when I was 7, with dance, and then when I got older did cheerleading, fell in love with it, and haven’t looked back!
So, not only do I choreograph cheer routines, and will be posting A LOT more of them and new cheers that teams can use, but I will be focusing on FITNESS. Cheerleaders need to be physically and mentally fit. So I will be introducing a fitness calendar, 4 monthly new workouts for a reasonable price that not just for cheerleaders but for ANYONE who wants to stay in shape or get in shape. I also will have free workouts too.

LINK — > CLICK HERE To follow

Now the above link will also host the following as well… ( I will tie both together as a place to be elite on the mat but also elite with social media.)

5) Content Creation/Courses/Templates

I will post some really awesome photos that you can buy directly from me at a reasonable price and use Anywhere you want too. I will have Templates that you can use as posts for your personal and professional needs and I will be offering 3 courses: a) LinkedIn b) Youtube and c) How to take better selfies and photos – all come with LIVE teaching as well not just recorded video, unless you need a recorded version!

So, stay tuned… A lot of exciting things are happening and I look forward to sharing them with y’all!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Better Together

If you listen to my podcast, you have heard me talk about how cheerleaders belong with athletes, and not just any athletes, but hockey players. And let me add, not necessarily a NHL player, but ANY player ( EHL, AHL, OHL, KHL, etc)
This guy on Tiktok helped me out tremendously by putting these together. A shout out to nackarockers for taking the words right out of my mouth. Just in case there was any doubt!

I will have A LOT of to say on Friday on the podcast. A LOT to say. As I think about this…

I smirk. I smile. I laugh literally out loud. The entire thing is crazy to me.

Question: why do people prefer people to be fake, secretive, and almost cunning, instead of being open and not afraid to be vulnerable? Why is it when you don’t have any outside motives that people still think you do? And so forth.

To Be Continued…. Oh, plus more on the Metro Division, playoffs, Cap/Escrow, CBA, the NY Rangers of course, and some other stuff… ( Fashion takes and question to guys on facial hair, spitting, and smelling salts, and crazy things I need to know!)

As always you get the sassy, sarcastic, up front version with no filter Friday. Yipee.

Twitter

Tiktok

IG : See below:

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

This is the part when I say I don’t wanna…

For the last 3 months or so, guys have been brave and sliding into my DMs … but of course… either looking desperate, trying pick up lines, or showing their jealously as to the “age range” that I have made clear as to whom I will date. The video below pretty much speaks for itself… then let me continue…

I had no idea that so many guys over the age of 35 would be attacking me over my choice to date younger guys… and oh, hockey players. When I mentioned this it’s like all these guys older than 35 came out of the wood-works and had to ask me directly … and then some of them even were brave enough to shot their shot ( that I will give credit too!)
Now, I don’t have to validate my reasons for what I want and I don’t have to ask permission either. But what I will do is spell it out as clearly as I can.
1) Yes, I date guys who are 23-32 BUT I have dated guys that are 21 and 22… there are always exceptions to what I feel I want to do but with that said, don’t get your hopes up if you’re older than 35…(or 34) that rule of mine is staying put.

2) Cheerleaders belong with athletes. Period. We go together like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, bread and butter… hello?! Yes, I know all about the stereotypical ideas put out there into the world about cheerleaders: ( They are dumb, they sleep around, they lack talent, blah blah blah) so trust me when folks hear that I used to be one and still in the industry men think they can easily “land me” but that’s not true at all. If anything, I am hard to “land” since I have high standards and will not go against those. I will gladly give an athlete a chance, but if he only thinks I deserve bare minimum, he’s got another thing coming! Yes, I don’t need to be nor want to be their 1st priority. Their 1st priority should be to their career/ team, but seriously there needs to be a BALANCE .
So trust me right now when I say, that if I like you, take that seriously as a compliment. I don’t need anyone to complete me, I WANT someone in my life to grow and build with… that’s the difference.

When guys say to me in DMs that the “only” reason I want to be a hockey player is because of how they “look physically” I giggle and roll my eyes. I don’t give a shit about a man’s hairline, if he has 6-pack abs, buns of steel, muscles, etc. .. that to me is a bonus, not a reason to want to date anyone. The mindset, attitude , character and personality of a hockey player is the main reason why I am attracted to them. Being that I am an ex-athlete and a current coach, I have the exact same mindset as they do… plus I understand the demands of their job, support them 125% and am as loyal as fuck (I have people who back me up on that BTW)


I have you all know that I ALWAYS NEVER dated: doctors, male nurses, lawyers, cops, firefighters, or guys in the military. Why? Well, doctors/nurses/lawyers hours are NUTS. They are NEVER around when you need them. Their jobs are demanding and oh, forget about kids… if I had kids with a guy who did one of those things for a living I would NEVER see him- neither would the kid. Vice Versa if a guy marries a female who does those things… a nanny mostly would be raising those kids! As for Cops, Firefighters and military dudes…their jobs are just way too dangerous and I would be a wreck worrying about them – that is not something I want to do.


Now, going back to the hockey player point being, as too what I am talking about in regards to personality, attitude and character;
look at this story on a hockey player and what he did for a fan: Click here to read the story
But to phrase this tweet: A couple weeks ago after a Columbus Blue Jackets victory, a guy witnessed a young girl bawling her eyes out while talking to a mutual friend in the concourse. He asked her what was wrong. She explained she was near glass waiting to get Korpi’s autographed stick. After he was announced as the first star, Korpi took a victory lap and pointed right at her, tossed the souvenir stick up over the glass. It landed in this little girl’s hands for a split second until someone behind her snatched it from her grip. She was inconsolable…. you can guess what the rest of the story is, right? This hockey player made it right. You hardly see that with other athletes unless it’s being recorded for their social media to show that “they care” This was NOT recorded. This happened and a guy told everyone on Twitter what an awesome dude Korpi was!

3) As asked in my DMs: “So, you’re just going to say no to other dudes who aren’t hockey players? Aren’t your standards to high?” My answer in a tweet: “You’re standards are too high” Well those standards protect me from low quality experiences. So I’m not afraid to say no! See, I know what I bring to the table. I am the prize. I am a rare breed. This is just another reason why folks should get off those dating apps… if you see what options are left, then you would understand NOT to settle just to settle. And remember what I have said previously, men marry the woman in front of them not necessarily the woman they are meant to be with because they settled when they should have said no. Here is that blog post

4) It’s always the most laid-back women made out to look complicated and crazy by a men who didn’t even try providing her with the basics of what she deserves. See, I don’t settle for bare minimum and NO ONE should settle for that- ever! I ALWAYS tell folks that if you think I am too much, go find less. ( BTW that is what you will find on a dating app)
Date someone who’s interested in you. And I don’t mean someone who finds you funny & cute. I mean someone who genuinely wants to get to know you. Find the person who wants to get to know every aspect of who you are because that is a keeper.

5) “So, you only want to then date guys from your favorite team, right?” Another fabulous DM I received the other day! And to answer it:
Well, maybe. The guys who shoot their shot GET a shot! And who’s to say that guys from other hockey teams are not in my DMs now? Um, hello! I don’t tweet out or post out WHO I am talking too… EVER. That’s a major rule of mine. Trustworthiness is something I take seriously and I don’t screenshot conversations either.
Like I said previously, it doesn’t matter how much I like a guy, if he ain’t up to task of at least getting to know me, I don’t chase, I replace.

6) “So, why young guys and not guys that are older?” Simply put: young guys want to grow, they want to build something, they want adventures and they are not afraid to leave their comfort zone as are older guys. Older men LIVE in their comfort zone. Older men try to “tame” me where younger guys enjoy my carefree spirit and the way I carry myself. I never have been with a younger guy (athletes) who cared so much about how smart I was, especially as a blonde, cared about me having my own company, or cared about how spontaneous I am at times. Older guys… ha!

7) Closing, if you follow me on Twitter you know that I love having conversation and my vibe I bring is very magnetic. (Hey, all these years doing cheerleading and dance brought that out in me.) I am ALWAYS open to meeting new people, no matter anyone’s age, and if you’re a guy and know that there is no chance in hell of ever dating me, but you enjoy having conversation on numerous topics, hit me up. I make a great platonic friend in that , I will always have your back. If anyone ever feels that they need someone to listen to them or needs advice, my DMs are always open.
I want to be the light for someone who feels that they don’t have that. Life is better when you are caring, compassionate and kind.

And you don’t need to date me in order for me to do that.


Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why chase you when I’m the catch?

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I say that with the question in mind, “How long do you give a guy whom you gave your number too, to actually use it before you say, Fuck it and move on?” It’s a known fact that most men will not call you the day after they meet you, for fear of being perceived as too eager or desperate. (Which is the SILLIEST thing a guy can do!)

Then of course women try to analyze WHY he hasn’t called and if he plans on calling, which is again, a stupid thing a woman can do. Now of course there are MANY scenarios as to why a guy won’t call. Let’s look at those:

1) When a guy doesn’t call, he might be preoccupied with work or other commitments. He might’ve not had the time or headspace to give you a call. It’s also possible that he’s too busy to focus on his personal life, especially if he’s someone who constantly gets overwhelmed with work or the schedule is too crazy for him to actually have time to call you or even text you for that matter.
2) They want to test you to see if you are going to chase them. Which if you read this blog, you know that my motto is: I don’t chase, I replace. NEVER chase a guy. First off, it’s a waste of energy and secondly it is a foolish game to play. Sometimes men think that showing emotions and expressing their interest will drive them away from the people they like. They’re trying to keep the mystery and interest alive by playing hard to get.
3) Research says phone anxiety might not be as uncommon as people think. If he’s someone who’s suffering from a social anxiety disorder, there’s a good chance that they feel very uncomfortable when calling you.  He is already insecure about himself and thinks you are freaking perfect, ( which NO ONE is, especially me, and he stupidly thinks he doesn’t deserve you!)
4) Men are NOT good with emotions. Period. They struggle with showing people how they feel and expressing themselves clearly so sometimes a guy doesn’t call or text a girl who shows him interest especially because HE IS interested in her as well.
5)He’s not into you. Yes, there is a serious possibility that is just isn’t into you and he is NEVER going to reach out. So, should you put all your eggs into one basket or move on to someone else?

You know how the story goes, you move on and have options, and he sees you with his friend, or someone he knows or even a complete stranger that is not him, and he panics and will text you. This then leads you to make a decision as to which guy you are going to choose. Which if you ask me is not a bad thing. I would continue to date the guy that you are entertaining while planning to then go out and meet for drinks with the guy whom you gave your number too. Let him point blank know that you are not exclusive but that you want to be exclusive and see what happens.


BUT- here is a tip for the guys. …

Men underestimate a silent female. If she is quiet and no longer interested in what you’re doing and she’s paying attention to another guy… she mostly is finished with you… and if you want her you are going to have to show it to her since he fumbled the bag and didn’t call you nor text you and it’s been OVER a month. Then by all means, let him walk. If he decides to mess it all up & lose the BEST thing to ever enter his life…that’s on him not you.

Also, on a different note, here is a men fact for the ladies to know: If a guy is criticizing another woman: Her looks, how she dresses, how she talks etc… He’s ATTRACTED to her. Period. You’re welcome.

Always know that you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the prize and 1 lucky guy is going to be thanking the guy that didn’t want to show interest in you and took a risk and dated you. That new guy is going to be so happy that you also were smart enough to know that you have options.

You can HAVE any guy your heart’s desire…. don’t settle on the one that is still unsure.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow, let the jokes rip. Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? Seriously?

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Dan: When I meet a woman over 30, she’s usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don’t have time for that drama—that’s why I like mature women.

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

I should add though, older women are likely to have a stable career and be financially secure. So, when she chooses a partner, it tends not to be about wealth. She tends to be with someone she WANTS not someone she NEEDS and that is the one thing that separates the girls from the women. Women who are independent do just fine without a man, so if they want you, you must be pretty damn special to her! And being with someone who admires her, supports her and is 100% intrigued about her is exactly why it never seems to work out with older guys.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Theory On Men

Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy.  It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.

Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.

There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.

Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!

In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Do You Know What It Takes?

Recently, someone asked me, ” What is the bare minimum in a relationship?”

That question is loaded one simply because most people don’t quite understand that your standards need to be higher than the bare minimum, which you should be getting anyway.
They put in minimum investment in the relationship, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. Bare minimum-ing someone means exactly what it says: you’re only giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The bare minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. My advice to everyone is to never settle your standards and stoop low for someone ONLY giving you the bare minimum. Here are some examples of someone only doing the bare minimum:

1) A person who respects your boundaries
2) A person who doesn’t demand to know all your passwords or snoop through your phone
3)Someone who likes cuddling or talking when you’re together than scrolling through their phone
4) Someone who gives compliments without being asked
5) A person who remembers your birthday or at least keeps it listed where they can be reminded
6) A person who always finds time to be with you
7)A person who says sorry when they are wrong
8)Giving compliments is not doing a lot. But Giving One Without being told to do that is what they should be doing.

Those are prime examples of the bare minimum that everyone in a relationship should be doing. But IF they also if They Only make an effort to keep you around, and your relationship never grows, that is also a cause for alarm. Why? Because they are only doing the bare minimum and it’s mostly like They act like a roommate with whom you have sex with. They don’t make any effort for romance or adventure at all.

People tend to think that expectations are standards and those two things are totally different. For example, I expect to be treated with respect is not a standard but an expectation. I expect him to be loyal, caring, compassionate, loving, honest, etc. again, Those are not standards. Expectations are the ideas we have about how we want certain situations to turn out or some people to be. Standards, however, are a level of quality that we set for ourselves that serve as a basis for good judgment.

I never tell guys what exactly i am looking for because if I tend to tell them what my standards are, then they tend to do them with no intention of staying with me and only finding a loophole to use me in some way. This way they have to put in the work for the entire relationship not knowing what exactly my standards are until we take the relationship to the next level. if we break up then that means they didn’t live up to my standards, seriously.

i know what i bring to the table and what I bring is rare. i am ultra supportive. i am ultra kind, caring and compassionate. i am smart, sexy, passionate, adventurous, creative, and a go-getter. i don’t have time for guys who don’t see that in me and who don’t want me to be an even better version of who I am.
I also want to make a guy want to be a better version of himself. I want a guy who is going to want build something together as a team, not someone who is just out for the ride.
So, do you think you have what it takes?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Dating, Sex, and all that Jazz

I started writing about dating back in 2008, back when online dating started. I said back then that it was a crazy idea that was going to get folks into trouble, and in 2022, I am still correct.
Dating via looking at a dating app is such a superficial and careless way to date. Period.
You are trusting some dude on the other end of the app with your heart, your body, your emotions, and your wallet. When more than half the time that dude is either a two timer, rapist, ex-criminal, scam artist, sex offender, or just a plain douche bag looking to hook up.
Dating shouldn’t be casual, either. I never quite understood how someone could just “casually” date someone while doing all the things that a couple does while dating. If you don’t have the time to devote to building something meaningful, then there is no point to dating. Period. Dating is more than just having fun in the sheets too. I mean, yes, sex is part of dating as it should be, but if you develop feelings for the other person and they don’t feel the same, you can end up getting hurt. Not to mention that you just wasted precious time with someone who didn’t care about having a relationship with you, they just wanted to have sex with you as in “Friends with benefits” and “casually” hang out with you when they have “time.”

Recently on Twitter some dude reached out to me via DM since he listens to my podcast all the time, and asked me, “What is it really like to date you?” That question is not an easy question to answer, seriously. Sure, I am fun, adventurous, spontaneous, have high energy, and am seriously easy going until you cross me, but how do you really answer that question? So in my sassy and sarcastic way, I answered it this way:

The pros and cons of dating me are ironically my mouth.

There I said it. #sarcasm but really the truth.

I’m not going to be known as a woman who was afraid to open her mouth and speak up against hate, and I know what I bring to the table and I am proud of being that rare breed in today’s society where you need to be a woman who is “submissive and flaky” to get a guy. At the same time, when I mention this, guys automatically think “slutty” and like I have said before, the fact that guys want girls to act this way and girls think they need to act slutty to get noticed by that athlete or by that guy they have their eyes on, is just completely trash. You can be sassy, sweet, seductive and sensual while at the same time being classy. That is the woman a real man will want anyway. Boys wants slutty. I don’t want a boy, I want a man. Period. You want to be treated like the classy bitch you are- not a doormat.

As I talk about trash, I also think about all the porn I have seen on Twitter in the last few months and I have to say it is the most distasteful thing to ever post on a social media site. Porn is a billion dollar industry and still is, but to post that on a social media site where kids are, and where folks go to have a conversation is so uncalled for. Now I am certainly no prude, as I talk about sex and if you read my best seller, “Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” I told readers of the most interesting positions to try. Yes, Back in the day as a full time blogger, I wrote for many online sites that talked about sex and people would message me and ask me for new things to try in the bedroom. I wrote for a site like Cosmo, called Rant Dating, for those who are interested to know. It doesn’t exist anymore but it was fun to work on, especially when I interviewed a condom company and did an “influencer” post for them before we even knew what a social media influencer was!

Also I have mentioned of course how the TV show, “Sex and the City” changed how women viewed sex, as it has always been a touchy subject when it came to the topic. But there are places to put it and places not to. And if that’s what you’re into, great. I have no problem with it. The problem I have is the fact that people are dumb enough to not only post it on Twitter, but then retweet it. Here is the social media tip that some need: When you Retweet something EVERY ONE of YOUR FOLLOWERS get to see that on their feed. This is NOT what your followers want to see. Now, if you want to create a DM group conversation on the porn you love to watch, go for it.

Just keep it classy on Twitter.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

So, You Want To Date An Athlete, Huh?

Who can deny the attraction to dating an athlete: someone who by their nature is disciplined, focused, and recognizes the value of working as a team toward a shared goal? But While dating an athlete has some “perks” it comes with cons as well, especially for chicks that can’t handle it nor understand the sport they play in the first place.

  1. They May Seem Single-Focused
    It’s only natural for an athlete to want to focus on the season and focus on winning a championship. And if you date an athlete, you need to be able to understand that he is not ignoring you or that you won’t be his number one priority. Instead you will have to accept the fact that when he is playing, that’s his job and his main focus is and should be his team. He may not be able to go to that function, or he may miss your birthday, but trust me he will make up for it when it’s the off season.
  2. Traveling
    He may have be away at a week a time, depending on the sport he plays. You may have to deal with taking care of the house, bills, kids, etc all on your own at times. IF you can’t handle this aspect, then dating an athlete is not for you at all. Independent women can handle dating an athlete simply because we already handle running the show at work and at home, and fit the role quite nicely.
  3. Center of Attention
    Whether you hate being the center of attention of love it, dating an athlete, especially one that plays in NY or is a top athlete, always has eyes of them. That means that eyes will be on you. If you can’t stand people watching you, watching what you post on social media, and are a very private person, then dating an athlete is not for you.
  4. They need Support
    Obviously from my standpoint, I am a cheerleading coach ( former cheerleader) so I understand things from a different point of view that a basic fan. Also, I give 100% support and I also have knowledge of the sport, so that is another reason why I can date an athlete. If you can’t grasp the concept that your man needs your support and that you need to root for him and his team to win, plus understand the sport he plays, then dating an athlete isn’t for you. Oh, also be prepared to actually go to as many games as you can to support them as well. Remember, we make time for what and who is important to us.
  5. Fitness Fun
    Athletes need to be in top shape all year round, not just in the season that they play/perform. Being a coach I understand this so they get to have a fitness partner in me. If you hate working out and aren’t in the best shape, then maybe you shouldn’t date an athlete.

    When dating an athlete you need to remember that it’s not just about you. You can’t get all upset because your man is focused on trying to remember the playbook, or he’s watching film, or a game, etc. You can’t be upset that he’s only had a meal with you a few times this week. You need to understand that when your man loses and/or he gets hurt he is not going to be in the best mood and he is going to need even more of your love and support at those times.
    So many times I see women on social media complaining about this type of stuff instead of taking the focus off how it “effects them” and putting it in the proper place. But also to the athlete he needs to remember that she deserves to be with a man who doesn’t make her look stupid being loyal. We’ve seen that also played out before as well.

    So finally, when I date an athlete I always tell him this:
    I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.