Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing. Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, by either pretending to be a woman or getting a woman they know to befriend me on social media. So here’s a tip for all your ladies out there: If a “woman” befriends you on social media out of the blue based on something you have posted and the conversation gets really personal by them initiating it, then somehow during the conversation they tell you, “… but don’t mention my name,” or “Don’t tell them I said it,” then you know there’s something up with that. When the person who initiates the conversation is now being secretive, you know that “woman” is really either A) a friend of the guy, or B) the guy pretending to be a woman. And I laugh, because guys can’t even talk like women do, which is a dead giveaway. Guys talk the same online as they do in person. They aren’t that good of an actor. What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

But do guys know what women really want? Here are a few things:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4– Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Facebook Enters The Love Game

Facebook is in it for love and they want you in it with them. So how does it work?

Dating is now integrated with Facebook groups and events. If people in a group you’re in have created Dating profiles or if they’re planning to attend the same Facebook events, they might show up in your matches. Facebook Dating is free and contains no ads or in-app purchases. Your Facebook Dating profile will be separate from your main one, but it will tap existing features such as events and groups, as well as your network of friends to identify “secret crushes.” ( Which is a bad, bad idea!)

Facebook Dating won’t suggest your friends as people you might want to date. Your dating profile also won’t show up on your news feed or be visible to friends; it’s only for others using the dating service. Facebook insists it won’t use information gleaned from your dating profiles for advertising and says there won’t be ads on Facebook Dating. ( Can we really trust this?)
To prevent unwanted messages, photos and spam, Facebook Dating lets you message someone just once unless you get a response. Facebook also won’t allow lonely hearts – or creeps – to send photos or website links, which could help cut down on unsolicited body-part photos.

There were initially rumblings that the dating feature might be open only to people who list themselves as “single” and not those who are “married” or “in a relationship.” But Facebook has said this is not the case. After all, people often don’t keep their relationship status up to date or don’t use it in a serious way.

Facebook is telling users to keep your identity private which includes your last name and your actual profile you have on Facebook. They also are warning people that folks may misrepresent themselves and their intentions in their dating profile and this could lead to harassment or harm if you decide to meet them in person.

This is just another bad option for dating. People don’t trust Facebook when it comes to privacy, but they are going to trust Facebook looking for love? And why not found out the last name of someone that you meet online? How are you going to be able to keep yourself safe if you don’t know who you are dealing with?

When are people going to LEARN that EVERY dating site is a cesspool filled with criminals, pedophiles, and scammers. If you really want a relationship step away from your devices and into the real world . Using dating sites doesn’t allow you to use your intuition and folks are going based on the profile that someone wrote up- which is filled with lies!

Facebook is just in this for the money- they don’t care about you “finding love” – stop believing that fairy-tale that love is on these sites. The only thing you are mostly  to find are STDs and hookups.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Create Your Own Fireworks July 4th

It’s really not rocket science to turn a woman on and let her know that you are interested in her. Men for some reason think that it’s so hard to “read” us, when really, it’s not. We give you guys cues, whether or not you pick up on them is all on you!

So if you plan on going to any July Fourth picnics or events and you see a woman you know and want to approach her, or you see a woman you don’t know and want to approach her; here are all cues laid out for you in black and white.

First and foremost, texting and calling us back is a turn on.  Also responding to our social media messages is a turn on as well.

But what you guys don’t realize is that when you stop texting us we know that you are already emotionally hooked, so there’s no reason NOT to text back, you know, unless you want to be seen as a jerk, then sure, stop texting and calling us! It’s only your reputation you’re hurting, not ours. So if you text a woman you know already and want to be more than just friends, keep at it. Also, if you meet a woman on social media and want to keep getting to know her; respond to every message she sends you!

You are out with your buddies and see a woman you would like to approach. Here’s a cue: When you are staring at a woman or you just finished saying hi to her, and she starts to bite her lip, she is turned on by you and she is debating what move to make next.

Here are other cues that you have peaked a woman’s interest in her:

1) When a woman starts “fixing” her bra, you sir, have turned her on.

2) Sometimes, yes sometimes, us women can be brought speechless. This usually happens when we really, really, like a guy. And when we’re in the mist of flirting, sometimes it seems as if we are not interested when we really are freaking out and trying to quickly think of something witty and sexy to say. So the next time there is dead silence, it’s just a woman trying to figure out what to say next.

3) If she sits diagonally from you or across from you at the room, her torso is facing you in an open manner, or her shoulders and hips are facing you. Either of these signs may mean she likes you. When she is sitting and she has her legs crossed, watch her feet, if its pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.

4) Whenever a woman plays with her jewelry when you are around, (necklace, rings, bracelet) she is nervously turned on by you and wants you to come over to her. Whenever she fidgets while staring at you, she is hoping that will get your attention.

5) We know that you guys spy on us on social media, so we are always one step ahead of you by posting pictures of ourselves either alone or with friends when we look amazing. We know how to play the game, and getting you jealous or curious about us, is how we do it. Also, getting compliments makes us feel good about ourselves. So , hint, hint.

Now, those cues are for mostly women you meet when you are out and about. The following are cues for women that you already know and are “friends” with her.

1) When you kiss our foreheads, hands, cheek, in a loving way, we know that you are trying to hide how you truly feel for us. But when you plant one on the lips, and it’s a soft kiss, that just takes our breath away.

2) Even if you hold my hand for 5 seconds, and I am attracted to you, I’m yours. Touch my arms, leg, be flirty while we talk and you got me!

3) Sometimes you guys are so stupid! If you see me hanging out in the same place as you, don’t wait for me to come over and say hi, make a move and say hello. If you see me wearing something that you really like, say it! Notice me and throw a compliment my way, you’ll score big points.

4) In general, a lot of guys make the mistake of bailing on the conversation too early.  BUT, when a woman is making an effort to talk to you and try to keep the conversation going, she’s interested: BIG time.

Theses are the things you can do to fuel that spark and then keep the fireworks from burning out. Keeping the fireworks alive past July 4th, is not that hard, really.  A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as taking a walk around your town, ordering pizza in and watching a movie, lighting candles instead of the turning on the lamp near the TV,  and so forth.   We don’t need you to take us to the most expensive restaurant in town. Sometimes just going out for breakfast on the weekends is a very sweet gesture and is something that totally turns us on.

Finally,  if it’s passion that you are craving for this July Fourth, you aren’t alone. Passion makes life good. It’s the essence of experiencing a fire within you! .  Passion is the energy that keeps us going, that keeps us filled with love, excitement, and anticipation.  If you want to feel more passion in your life, then you have to become passionate. Passionate people tend to attract other passionate people. There are fireworks all within us, we just need to take the time to let them out, and this summer is a great time to do that.  If you’re with the right person and the passion goes from a flaming fire to a slow, burning love, it can last a lifetime.

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Exciting News

I am one of the founders of Vocal+ – and will be writing a weekly blog there as well as still here! My first piece is the following: Here are 5 Reasons WHY you are  Still Single 
You can click on still single and you will be taken directly to the article.  I will be giving some exclusives on my follow up to my best-selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd ed” on Vocal+
I also will be writing about the book here- and I will be holding a contest for the naming the title of the book here!
Stay Tuned!
book
Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

“They say breaking up is hard to do,” sings Neil Sedaka, and I can tell you, he’s certainly correct on that! Breaking up any relationship is hard to do, especially when you have been with a person for so many years. But what happens if you are no longer happy? Should you just stay with that person because you are comfortable and afraid of being alone or should you just continue to be miserable and pass up any chance to be happy?

Its one thing to be in a relationship that is fulfilling it’s another to be in the relationship, “just because.” If after so many years you realize that you no longer have the same feelings for this person as you did when you met, you no longer are attracted to this person, or for other circumstances like cheating, lying and abuse, you need to leave this relationship. It’s one thing to love another person, but being in love with another person is an entire different ballgame. I know couples that broke up simply because they were not in love with each other anymore and they wanted to be happy with someone else.

That is where the attraction to someone else goes hand in hand. When you fall in love with someone you feel the chemistry between each other, where as, when you just love someone there really isn’t too much chemistry that attracts you to want to be with the person. You may indeed love him or her, but you don’t feel compelled to want to spend every waking moment with this person.

I have heard stories of people breaking up because they feel as if the other party just doesn’t understand them or is in the relationship because it “benefits” the other person. My question is simply this: Why would you want to be with a person who just doesn’t understand you, doesn’t want anything to really do with you, and is only with you because it benefits them one way or another? Its true that we get very comfortable in relationships that last years, even months. Sometimes we get way too comfortable which then makes it even harder to do what we know in our heart we need to do, but we can’t bring ourselves to do it. Then there are the relationships where one party lies, cheats, or worse off abuses the other person either physically, emotionally, or mentally. Anyone who abuses another person is simply a bully- period. They have such lack of respect for human life but they also have very low self-esteem. That is one of the reason they are abusive.

Just like bullies on the playground, people with a lack of self-esteem often terrorize someone who has self-esteem. Jealousy is often one of the other reasons why the bully picks on a person. The bully gets self-esteem through terrorizing his/her victim. They make this person somehow eventually believe that they are worthless, incompetent, and rejected. Not only is it a power trip for the bully but they are also gaining negative self-esteem by taking away your positive self-esteem. And to most people, this is the hardest relationship to get out of. People often argue that the victim “enjoys” being abused, but that is far from the truth. The truth is they feel they have nowhere to turn and also feel embarrassed as to what has been going on. They feel as if they will be judged, as if they caused their partner to be abusive. This can’t be further from the truth. Sometimes they don’t want to believe that the person whom they have loved would want to hurt them. They feel as if other people are jealous of their relationship. But once they can see through all the fog, they realize they deserve better, that they are worthy of love and respect they made a play to leave the relationship. Its also important to know that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness but it actually shows that you have courage to stand up for yourself.

In conclusion, for the most part, we don’t enjoy hurting someone’s feelings. And telling someone that we no longer love him or her the same way when we first met is not easy. But when we feel in our heart that we no longer love this person, it’s not fair to ourselves, and its not fair to the other person. No one wants to live a lie. But no one wants to be forced into a relationship either. Breaking up isn’t meant to be easy, but all the tough decisions we make in life aren’t easy, but in the end if we find ourselves happy, making the tough choices in the end are worth it.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner · 4 Comments

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Your body is NEVER going to look perfect. Ever.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. Stop thinking that people are just saying it, no they mean it.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill anything that is breathing.  Bad breath happens to everyone.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them. There are so many women who wish they were moms, remember that.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would. Your can accomplish anything you set your mind too!
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself. Men are not heroes, be your OWN hero and save yourself!
7. Life happens outside your comfort zone.  If you never take any risks, you never grow. Life is about growing and learning. Don’t be afraid to live the life YOU want.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan. Ever.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable. 💕

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Red Flags To Look For Online Dating Scams

With the number of new online dating apps popping up as well as the number of folks using dating apps at an all-time high, here are red flags to look out for to determine if your prince or princess charming is for real and not a scammer.

1) Profile is not complete. Scammers often are not specific in what they are looking for in a mate.  And they don’t answer questions when asked either.

2) They said, “I Love You”  and haven’t met you in person yet.  Some people can sound great on the phone, but when you meet them there is nothing there; or, physically they just don’t meet your standards. How can someone honestly love you before having met you in person?

3) They said, ” I Love You,” on your first date.  Again, you just freaking met in person, and they say they believe in love at first sight, and that you two are soulmates and they feel it, blah, blah, blah….  Love, true love takes time to build.

4) Playing Games.   He doesn’t want to give you his phone number, he only wants to communicate via email, or Facebook Messenger, or through the App. (Remember, there are a number of services where you can get a phone number with almost any prefix.)

5) He or She won’t FaceTime –  Now with the option of facetiming you can tell right off the bat if a guy or girl is trying to scam you simply by them refusing to FaceTime.  They always have an excuse as to why they can’t do this.

6) Fake Photos: On Dating Apps, it’s almost a sure bet that there are tons of Fake Photos! Do a Google Image search to see if his photo shows up on stock photo sites or catalogs.

7) Money! Money! Money!  1) The first questions that are asked are, “So, how much money do you make?” and 2) They ask you to borrow money and give you some story as to why they are desperate for the funds.

These are just a few signs that the person you met is either trying to scam you out of money or the guy/girl could be married and is cheating on their partner.

You can avoid all heartache if you know what to look for and also how to ask questions right from the first message you receive. Don’t give too much personal information away either! They don’t need your phone number, address, work address, social media pages, etc. Start slow and really get to know someone first.  Set up a meeting in a public place. If they fail to show up – next!

You can get tons of tips here: Click This

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

5 Ways To Love Yourself Everyday

Sleep, wake up, work. And repeat. That’s a daily grind that we all seem to go through daily as we dread the next time the alarm goes off. There’s more to life than work. What is one thing you can do every day to take care of yourself, to gain some important, “me time?”

Start your day off with meditation and exercise.

Sit and focus on how you breathe for at least 1 to 5 minutes or preferably 15 to 20 min. Connect with nature by taking your workouts outside (also great for getting your daily dose of Vitamin D), do some yoga, or simply stretch. Endorphins will surface and lift your spirit and immune system higher. I love going for 2 mile walks.

Read.

Pick a few articles from blogs and websites that you find inspiring and read them throughout the day. Most people don’t’ have time to simply read a book, but if you choose to read a book, make it fictional. The reason is so you can find an escape for at least 15-20 minutes a day reading something that enraptures your imagination.

Put yourself on a schedule so that you make time for play.

Use your vacation days or use a personal day. Even a single mental health day or a short trip out of town is a great mental booster! Get out of your normal routine and do something out of the ordinary. Too often we get use to our comfort zone, that we fall into a rut or we burn out, so use your vacation days before they roll over. Also take time to enjoy the weekends. Weekends with no play are no fun.

Have A Hobby

Letting your creative juices flow with stop you from getting caught up in the monotony of daily life. You also can find it fun and interesting to learn a new skill, or polish up on one that you already have. You could also meet new people as a result of your hobby and join a group or go to a workshop/class on it. Cooking, sewing, woodwork, painting, the ideas are endless and up to you!

Unplug from technology.

What is the first thing people tend to do when they first wake up? They grab their phones, tablets, or laptops and start plugging away. Leave the electronics alone until you’ve given yourself time to get ready for the day ahead. Make time for breakfast, which usually gets ignored or forgotten about and save the email, Facebook, and other social media platforms for the end of your morning ritual.

Have a great Valentine’s Day- Remember to LOVE yourself FIRST.  If you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else too.

hearts

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Men’s Epic Fails

Sorry guys, but sometimes you really are pathetic. Sending your mixed signals, changing your mind more times than I change my bra, and just being completely idiotic with playing games. But the good news is, us women still love you, flaws and all. Here are a handful of things that you guys may not even notice that you are doing which in turn are ruining your relationships.

Not Planning Things

The first epic fail is that you guys always assume that the woman is the one to make the plans. So while she is sitting there waiting for you to take the lead, you are sitting there wasting time because you feel that’s a “woman” thing to do.

Start Saying Thank You

This is obvious, we give you a gift or say something nice, open your big, fat mouths and say thank you! It won’t hurt and we won’t read anything into that. Not saying thank you is just plain rude!

Blaming Our Moods On…

Yes, you guys constantly blame our monthly periods on our moods. Here’s a crazy concept, maybe I’m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it’s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.

Run!

You realize that you really like a girl and she really wants to be with you so what do you do? You run! How stupid, seriously! If you aren’t ready for that type of relationship, all you need to do is communicate that to her and ask to remain friends. If you really likes you, she’ll agree. Running is for fools. Sticking your head in the sand might make you feel safer, but it’s not going to protect you from the coming storm.

You Are Not God’s Gift To Women

I repeat, you are NOT God’s gift to women, so calm down. Stop being overly cocky and over the top and just be your freaking selves! A real woman is NOT impressed with cars, how much money you have, how much weight you lost, the type of job you have, etc. We want you to have a job and be able to drive us on dates, but deep down, we don’t care about this stuff.

Pick Up The Damn Phone

Pick up the damn phone and call us back or text us back. When you go cold-turkey on us and not respond that makes YOU look bad or you look like you are starving for attention. Again, it’s another way of you being rude, and by the way, this is not going to make us NOT like you anymore. It will just annoy the hell out of us.

Proposing To A Woman Just Because…

Why the hell would you want to get married if you don’t love her? This is a major epic fail because then you are stuck in a situation that you shouldn’t be in the first place. This goes for men who get a woman pregnant and feel it’s the “manly” thing to do to marry her. This is for the guy who confuses love with lust. This is for the guy who meets a woman online and then 3-6 months later proposes without really knowing her. This is also for the guy who meets a woman and then suddenly thinks he needs to put a ring on it…. without truly knowing her. This is half the reason who divorce rates are high. But hey, divorce is a completely different topic that we will discuss later but I will say that if this i you- at least you have an out from your misery.

Spying On Us

It amazes me how stupid you guys are sometimes! Social Media isn’t going to help you really get to know a woman. Granted yes you get to see their pics, and you get to see what hobbies and things they like to do, but if you judge a woman based on her social meida accounts, then you are setting yourself up short & not being fair to her.

Being Gross

Talking with your mouth full and shoving food in your mouth, are just two of the ways that you guys gross us out. The other is when you don’t say excuse me after you burp…. ewww.

Arguing Over Nothing

Yes, us women are guilty of nagging you. I get it. But you guys are guilty of starting fights over nothing. Literally- nothing!

Sending Mixed Signals

One minute you talk to us and flirt with us non-stop, the next minute you ignore us. Then you think you have a right to get angry when we do the same crap to you? If you want us but aren’t ready to be in a relationship, open your mouth and just tell us. If we really want to be with you, we will wait. If not, why keep us wondering and waste your time as well?

Wanting Sex And That’s It

Friends with Benefits never work, so why do you guys seriously think that if you just sex from us, that’s okay? I understand that you have needs, so do we, but if you date a woman for a while and spice things up in the bedroom, you’ll have the best of both worlds.

You Put Too Much Emphasis On Looks

I get it, you want a barbie doll type girl. You know, the Victoria’s Secret type. But remember, looks fade, personality doesn’t. Her mindset will raise your children, not her materialism, looks, or her body. Choose wisely!

Trying To Get Us Jealous As A Way To Communicate

Trying to see if a woman likes you or feels the same way about you by lying that you are in a relationship, flirting with other women in front of her, or just wording things in a certain way so you get a reaction out of us, isn’t going to get you the desired response. Instead, you are going to hurt her, and seriously I doubt that is the intention of most men. I’ll fight for you but I will NEVER compete for you.;there’s a difference.

Using Text To Have Serious Conversations:

Texting is good for those hi, how are you doing messages. Texting is NOT good to see where you stand with someone, break up with someone or even have a serious conversation about any situation you are going through. People today have lost the true meaning of communication simply because using text is so impersonal and it doesn’t truly convey the message you really are sending. So before you decide to have a serious talk, save it for face to face and please put down the damn phone!

No one is perfect, I know that. And I am not saying that you guys need to do everything perfectly correct. But if we take a little time to actually THINK before we act or speak, we are not only thinking about ourselves but also remembering that HOW we approach situations effects others too. Your imperfections don’t define you. It’s how you handle them that makes you human.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

7 Ways To Score A Date For Christmas (without using online dating!)

According to data analyzed from social media posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way through the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty. If you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting people you never would have met because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks at many bars, restaurants, malls, gaming facilities ( Like bowling alleys, go-carts places, arcades like Dave and Busters, etc)

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.  In other words, keep an open mind.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2019, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.