The book that everybody has been waiting for is finally arriving on your shelf soon .
more to come!
Just Gonna Leave This Here
Get Ready: A sneak peek of “Meet Me in the Penalty Box”
As you well know by following this blog and if you follow me on social, you know that I am writing a book called, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” which exposes the NHL culture to a tee. Here’s a excerpt of the book: the first two sections: All About The Victims and Exploring the Topic Of Culture
Did you know, in 2022, there were 1.37 million domestic violence crimes committed in the US. According to the CDC, in 2022, women reported intimate partner violence around 41%
These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.
What does all this have to do with the NHL? (National Hockey League)
The NHL is the ONLY major pro-sports league without a league specific policy outlining what happens to players who are accused of sexual crimes and domestic abuse.
There have been incidents within the league that the league have stayed quiet about and have swept it under the rug, so to speak. (I then get into many different cases)
The question that everyone seems to have in regards to violence against women is where does this start to form in a man’s life?
Why does he intentionally want to hurt someone who is seen as loving and caring towards him?
And how do women play a role in being manipulated into falling into a pattern of trusting violent men with their lives?
Dating Violence
Violence in teen relationships predicts violence in adulthood. In the United States, up to 19% of teens experience sexual or physical dating violence, about half face stalking or harassment, and as many as 65% report being psychologically abused ( Stats are from Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention)
In many cases, violence can happen when young people don’t yet have the skills to manage conflict, cope with feelings of jealousy, and navigate rejection. Many teens perceive this type of behavior as “normal” and a way to express love in intimate relationships.
The truth of the matter is this: Teen dating violence seems to be overlooked, not only in the scientific community but in society at large. It’s developmentally appropriate for young people to explore their sexuality.
But as a society we haven’t figured out how to support that while protecting them from a risk of violence. Added pressures today include social media and how sexuality is perceived.
According to 2019 data from the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, about 1 in 12 teens experience physical dating violence and about the same number face sexual dating violence. Other studies suggest rates may be higher, especially when accounting for psychological forms of abuse.
In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type.
Girls as young as age 6 have been taught for generations to accept the fact that when a boy pulls your hair, trips you, pokes you, laughs at you, or does anything else to you, this is a clue that he “likes you.”
Little girls have been conformed and trained to accept this behavior from boys as an expression of interest, which means we have been training girls that it is normal for guys to physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse us as an expression of love.
Teen boys who abuse dating partners are more than likely to have experienced child abuse or neglect. Teen boys who are abusers, are more likely to use alcohol or drugs than their nonviolent counterparts.
Teen boys who abuse their partners then to have sexist attitudes that support male domination over females.
In some cases, dating violence may be part of a pattern of antisocial or aggressive behavior.
But much of the time, teens may simply not know how to manage the emotions and conflicts that arise as they enter their first relationships.
Patterns in teen relationships are similar to adult battering relationships – they involve the same elements of control and jealousy. Teen girls and women describe the same range of violent experiences from slaps and shoves, to beatings and attacks with weapons.
There are several youth-specific aspects to their relationships-
Pressure to conform to peer-group norms which contributes to an emphasis on having a specific dating partner.
Peer pressure can be so intense and the fear of being different, or of violating peer-group norms, can create rigid conformity.
Teenage boys will begin to establish such patterns when their violent dating behaviors are reinforced by members of their peer group and by society as a whole.
Their expectations of a girlfriend may include that she gives up certain activities and other relationships in order to give priority to her boyfriend.
This is why basic chicks fit the mold/pattern for hockey players.
They find women who will conform to what the boyfriend wants and accepts their dominance in the relationship. This includes that he be sexually aggressive, make all the decisions, and he will control her activities and behavior…..
(Section 2: Exploring the Topic of Culture)
The United States also has an individualistic culture, meaning people place a high value on individuality and independence. In contrast, many other cultures are collectivist, meaning the welfare of the group and group relationships is a primary value.
Living up to a culture’s values can be difficult. It’s easy to value good health, but it’s hard to quit smoking. Marital monogamy is valued, but many spouses engage in infidelity. Cultural diversity and equal opportunities for all people are valued in the United States, yet the country’s highest political offices have been dominated by white men.
In many cultures, women are expected to be responsible for things that men are not. And, there are more pressures put on girls and women to look young and youthful no matter how old she is. Women’s full and equal participation in all facets of society is a fundamental human right. Yet, around the world, from politics to sports to the workplace, women and girls are largely underrepresented.
While the specific expectations have varied across cultures and time periods, core assumptions about women’s roles have persisted for millennia. Let’s take a brief look at how the values and beliefs women “should” follow enfolded…..
Today, this is how women see themselves:
- Independence focused
- Sexually liberated
- Work focused
Today this is how men still want to see women:
- Homemaker
- Mother
- Primary caregiver
- Submits to her man
- Adopts her man’s moral foundations
A traditional woman is a woman who follows older established principles of femininity. But today, women are pushing away from being a “traditional woman” because men today are pushing away from being, “a traditional man.”
What is a traditional man?
He is someone who adheres to conventional, often historical, gender roles and expectations. This may include traits like being a provider, protector, and head of the household, with a focus on strength, and dominance. Basically he follows established principles of masculinity.
Men before the social media era had more strength, courage, and discipline than today’s men. Men used to be better men, and more men wanted to be more like that. Today though, men rather complain about women being masculine and not feminine.
Maybe this is news to a lot of men but women take self-defense courses because we’re told we need to protect ourselves from men. Instead of men learning to be better men. The value of women is not limited to their sex appeal. Treat women the way you would treat any normal person. How you speak, walk, move your body or go about everyday life has nothing to do with masculinity, aside from other people’s preconceived ideas.
When most men think of “manliness”, they think of the fantastical archetypes we’ve been inundated with since childhood:
James Bond, Ernest Hemmingway, Captain America, and the list goes on.
They think that manliness is about hunting big game, or knowing how to fight, or sleeping with dozens of women, or driving a fast car. But these activities do not make one manly. Manliness, or as I prefer to call it “masculinity”, is about the principles by which you operate and the way that you commit yourself to various pursuits in life.
I would argue that developing your masculinity just as women develop their femininity, is based on a handful of simple principles…..
When women are assaulted, their past gets investigated.
When men assault, their future gets protected.
When women get assaulted, it’s like society treats them like a criminal first, not a victim. But men? Oh no, their futures need to be protected at all costs. The only thing that matters is making sure they get a “second chance” while she’s left fighting for her dignity. This victim-blaming crap isn’t just sick, it’s a systematic pile-on designed to keep her in the dirt while they get to walk away unscathed.
What does all this have to do with the NHL and their culture?
Well, let me start off by saying this: Culture isn’t an excuse for abuse. And abuse is silent no matter what type of abuse it is emotionally mental, physical or sexual.
And the fact that people know that it’s happening and they close the blind eye to it or they sweep it under the rug or they try to hide it as fast as they can, shows you the nature of this problem isn’t small. The NHL is very good at covering this up and that shows you that they know right from wrong but they don’t care.
And to all those guys that I see commenting on this type of thing on Instagram, Facebook and Threads is disturbing.
The main comment is that, we as women will never get rid of sexual assault. That’s that is correct statement because we’re never going to get rid of hate, we’re never going to get rid of violence 100%, but the fact that you don’t even want to think about how you can make things better for not just yourself but those around you, show that you are part of the problem, not the solution.
It’s always amazing to me. How guys are more worried about the accusations of their favorite athletes than the violence itself .
Defending them with the my favorite sayings, “she was a whore,” “She wanted it now she’s regretting it.” And my ultimate favorite, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
There’s also another one, “She consented so this didn’t happen.”
They just don’t understand what consent and not consent is and even if she consented in the beginning, a woman has a right to change her consent at any point given in time.
When a woman says no or stop or I don’t want to do this and you don’t listen to her, you are raping her. It doesn’t matter if she’s your wife, it doesn’t matter if she’s your girlfriend, it doesn’t matter if she’s your partner, it doesn’t matter if she’s a hooker from the street, it does not matter.
And that is where the problem then grows.
The hockey culture is four things, alcohol, drugs, sex and gambling.
(To Be Continued)
Oh, so you’re in a relationship with an athlete
If you follow a lot of athletes on Instagram, you will see that they use the feature of stories very often and very well. They tend to put the girls they are “dating” or even those they are “married” to in those stories and not on their feed. Why?
A story only lasts 24 hours and then it disappears. Not everyone will technically see said story of you posing with the girl, so they have a better chance at hiding a romance while at the same time of letting the girl think they are exclusive because they “posted” about them together.
The MAIN excuse you will hear from these guys as to why they don’t wish to post on the feed about their relationships are the following: “I want to keep my life private,” or, “It’s no one’s business who I am with and what I am doing.” Or my favorite, “All the important people in our circle already know we are together, why do a bunch of strangers need to know?”
This here is straight up nonsense!
You are already using a social media platform so your life is not private. And you already started posting about other areas in your life, the main areas of your life can’t be kept private now. Let me add that all those who do have private IG accounts look like they are HIDING things NOT that they want to have a “private life” as an athlete.
So what is the motive of an athlete who doesn’t post up about their married or even who they are dating? They do this to appear single and to “keep their options open,” so when they go on the road and use the dating app Tinder, girls who try and look them up are lied too about them being in a relationship. Although some naive girls will still believe an athlete when they tell them that they are “not happy” in their relationship and that they are planning of getting a divorce when they aren’t.
Let me also add that I know a former NFL player and his wife and on Instagram, and one day she posted that she laughs at all the women who end up in her husband’s DMS, because they don’t know that she reads their private messages… (insert laughing out loud emoji)
Remember it’s not the actual social media that ruins relationships. People who don’t respect relationship boundaries do. There’s a difference between private and secret. And if you are a secret, then you are NOT respected nor a priority.
Also note that if you ask a guy why he hasn’t posted you up, check out his body language and how he flips the script and says that YOU are acting insecure, YOU don’t trust him, etc. It is a clear give away that he is LYING to you and that he wants to keep his options open or that he is already cheating on you.
That is why MEN should POST UP his lady/woman first. That shows you EXACTLY how he feels about you. Actions ALWAYS speak louder than any words he ever says to you. When a man posts up his girl it signifies that he is PROUD of his woman, that he LOVES her, and he doesn’t want ANY OTHER MAN to have her! When he doesn’t, you are just a little toy in his game. That’s why basic chicks need to STEP up their game. In my experience people settle because a part of them believe that is all they deserve or because they are desperate, are afraid of being alone . They may feel that they aren’t WORTHY of something better, even though she CLEARLY is!
It’s all about the mindset. One day, when I was around 24, A complete stranger in a coffee shop overheard my conversation and said, “You know what, you are a big jar, but you think you’re a small one.”
It took years for me to understand what he meant.
I settled a lot. I thought small. I had a mediocre job, a mediocre relationship, a mediocre life.
I didn’t put myself first. I failed to appreciate the present. I did not know how to make the most of my talents and gifts.
After a few years, and lots of hard work, travels, relationships, after finally accepting that I am the captain of my own life and that I should put myself first, I saw my jar getting bigger and bigger.
Now, I am in love with my life – one that is filled with joy, excitement, and possibilities. Everyday is spectacular. That is the type of life I wish for everyone.
Stop thinking so small. You are worth everything you deserve and more.
Goalies Aren’t The Only Ones Who Wear Masks
He’s waiting for his hoe to text
On the second line
It’s Ramsey‘s best-
Or is it Rappaport‘s best-
Move ever –
he helps hides the boys who are cheating keeping them undercover.
So many athletes have 2nd phones
And hide their indiscretions from their wives
Who are as basic as the lies they tell.
Imagine these guys wanting something extra?
They’re men’s men – maybe that’s why they’re afraid and have homophobia.
All you ever see
are them being with the boys-
To them all the girls are just some kind of toy .
That they like to use, manipulate And spit about.
Because all they care about is having clout .
God forbid they have a woman
with class.
No, they just want a woman who they can use and ultimately kick her ass
Then blame her for all the abuse that they feed her day in and day out.
They feel that women are property-
There’s no need for a written policy.
Of how to act., speak and be.
The way the NHL gaslights them
Many of them foolishly believe they care
Look, Mcdavid cheated,
When they never would dare
Change the culture that is within.
They’re all okay with living with sin.
Ha! They can never forget about me-
I’m the one that lives rent free –
In their body, soul and mind .
Once I’m ingested
There’s no turning back
I may even be able to give you a heart attack.
You may start noticing your breath.
Heavy breathing is normal after physical exertion,
but it can also be a sign of a fever,
Or an infection.
So then you try to throw introjection, but what you really find is that it’s a misdirection.
you can never put me deliberately off track,
You think you’re so clever like you’re such a hack,
When you know, I’m like that mole that always grows back-
And I grow stronger and stronger, with every tear that I cry,
You must face reality.
The immortality of this culture is coming to an end.
The Silent Women Part 2
Jacob Trouba ( a fake account set up on this platform)
“LOL which player rejected you?? There is no problem with women who are in relationships with NHL players; dating, married, or otherwise. The NHL is definitely NOT against women. The problem is you and your unhinged and attitude. If you feel that the NHL is against women like you, then rightfully so!!!”
Oh look I triggered you – Oh snap ( insert eye roll here and smirk)
See, the problem is NOT my unhinged attitude its the fact that these men can’t DEAL WITH IT because it is THE TRUTH. And this is a CLASSIC narcissist gaslighting response. Also, it seems as though this male is unhinged because he wants women to accept the status quo and not be better and do better. He probably also thinks it is a flex to sleep with multiple women too.
Obviously this dude also doesn’t know HOW to read. I never said there was a problem WITH women… I said clearly that the CULTURE and The TYPE of woman they are groomed to be with is the problem. DUH!
Guys do not want to become better men, so that’s why they settle for the basic chick because they’re not going to force them to be better.
And it’s not just the men who play in the NHL it’s men who are fans of the NHL.
That whole entire topic of would women choose the bear over a man in the woods, triggered so many men, but it just didn’t trigger men. It triggered the boys who are insecure and immature, and probably will never be men.
But back to the NHL for a second …
You can listen to the podcast. I just did on this topic here. * click to listen *
And if you would like to read the books that are written on men in relationships…
You can click here … I’m sure you’ll find what you need to find in the books.
But just to continue for a second ..
I mentioned in the last post about Instagram and the stories and how all these NHL players use them. . I did not mention why it’s terrible and what exactly it means when a man does that shit. But I will start with this if you’re a woman and you are dating an NHL player do not be the first to post him up. Let him be the first to post you up. Because then you’ll know that you’re dealing with the athlete that is proud to have you as his woman and he would like to show you off to everyone else if he only puts you up in his story he’s still trying to look single.
If you go look at Cale Maker, Andrew Copp, Connor McDavid, Matthew Tkachuk, Ryan Lindgren, Jacob Trouba , etc… you will find on their actual pages, there is no such thing as they are/were actually dating a woman let alone being married to them. And then they’ll just say well my life is private, blah blah blah…. It’s not that their life is private. It’s that they’re 1) not proud of the woman they’re with because 2) she’s a basic chick and 3) it’s a secret so they can hook up using Tinder and other means especially when they’re on the road.
I mean, let’s look carefully at Connor McDavid, who was filmed on video in 2022 coming out of a bar with another woman not Laura who we ended up marrying . BTW…. If you look at their wedding photo there, there’s a specific one where they look like they’re unhappy. She knew that he’s a cheater and a liar and yet she still married him.
There’s a saying, a person who settles for crumbs, never understood the mentality of someone who wants the whole cake. Men want their cake and eat it too, but the women are not allowed to have that today. The women shouldn’t want the whole cake. They should just settle for crumbs and be happy.
Here’s something that I spoke about on the podcast if you are a woman and you give up your financial freedom to a man you’re pretty much done. If all women wanna do is just live off, their husband’s means and have nothing to fall back on, that’s the reason why most these women stay in abusive relationships. Well that and the fact that only 10% of those women that leave survive.
A smart man realizes it’s better to grow with a smart woman because he’s never satisfied with his basic chick and that’s why you don’t see more of those smart men who play in the national hockey league with intelligent women. They don’t accept bare minimum simple because they can provide bare minimum for themselves . We don’t need men men need us. If a man can manipulate you into making you believe he loves you you’re done hence that’s why they choose basic chicks, most likely under the age of 26.
And BTW… there are a lot of married single moms in the NHL. Those who do EVERYTHING on their own and the men don’t do shit. I talk more on the podcast about this.
Men are intimidated by intelligent women. They are inferior to them, but women who gave blow jobs just to get ahead are the women men can control and that’s why hockey players choose basic chicks because they will accept the bare minimum and are easily controlled.
If you look back through the history of the NHL and I mean way back, coaches used to sleep with other coaches wives players used to sleep with other players wives …. This type of culture starts in junior hockey.
Also, last year there was a scenario on TikTok with the NHL player Alex Wennberg . A lot of fantasy writers use the NHL players and sexualize the players themselves. Hence we had something called booktok. And the funny thing about it is the fact that the admin for the Seattle Kraken bought into it and used it in their social media.
If you look on TikTok, a lot of women sexualize the warm-up routine that a lot of NHL players do. (Its mostly certain type of stretching) But those women to me are not true hockey fans those women are the thirsty hoes. Yes I said what I said. You are a thirsty hoe, if you are sexualizing what hockey players are doing in warm up. It’s perfectly fine to say a guy a hot, good looking, dresses sharp, etc. BUT when you sexualize them, then you are saying the way that THEY treat women is acceptable.
I want women to want to better themselves and I want that for their daughters too.
Like I’ve seen before I have no problem if you wanna be a stay at home mom and live off your husband‘s means, but that means you’re giving up your financial freedom to your man. That means that no matter if he physically abuses you, emotionally abuses, you, or mentally abuses you You will end up staying in that relationship and teaching your daughter that there are no ways out and that you’re not worth it.
Women need to realize that they’re worth it!
Calling me unhinged just means I’m doing something right because it’s an unhinged attitude that men don’t appreciate and don’t like because I’ve said it before I’ll say it again they don’t want to better themselves. They want to be IN control of everything, especially a woman. They want women to be submissive to them and their needs and their wants . And the only way they can do that is if they pick a basic chick who accepts bare minimum.
By the way, on the podcast, I pick apart some of the New York Rangers wives and girlfriends and tell you some of the things that I see on their social compared to the things that their husbands and boyfriends post. I also get into this a little bit deeper on the podcast. It’s a great listen. I suggest you listen to it. Tell you, it’s a lot easier talking about it than it is writing it. So you’ll get some really good stuff on that podcast.
Again, here’s the podcast link : click here
The Silent Women Of The NHL
All last month I saw the NHL Public Relations Dept tweet out, “The NHL continues to celebrate Women in hockey…” and all I could think was, “What a load of crap!”
Why you ask?
Because it is a ploy to make you think that they 1) care about women at all and 2) a distraction from knowing or even thinking that the NHL is the ONLY professional league that does not have written policy to protect women in regard to sexual assault / domestic violence / sexual harassment – but no, let’s get the confetti and celebrate them! (Insert eye roll here) Not only that, but the women also that are in the NHL now, as wives and girlfriends are silent. Do you notice that? Do you notice that when you do have a woman who is married (or used to be married) speak up that woman is forced to stay silent and if they shall open their mouths, they are given, “The Scarlet Letter?”
As you will notice from some of these photos of the some of the women, they look literally identical. I sent a few people a photo of these two women, one is a GF and the other is about to marry a player on the SAME team. And the response I received were al the same, “They are sisters, right?” Ha! Nope. They are NOT related.
Here’s something interesting and I know it is going to rub some folks the wrong way but when the hell did that stop me? If you notice that almost all the women who are either dating or married to NHL players look alike. Now, the ones who are not the same “type” are the ones that knew their athlete when they were young and probably met in school or while they were in the AHL or even possibly out in the wide world. Those women are the women who aren’t in the mold they are “supposed to be” while the women who all look alike, are that for a simple reason or two: Its to keep the hockey culture alive and well and it is also easier to control a chick who is basic and practically the same than it is to control a woman who is different and extra. Some of the basic chicks don’t even realize this, but that NHL player ain’t with you because he “loves you and wants to build with you,” but because you are basic and easy to control. You will put up with his bullshit and NEVER say anything that goes against the grain.
Sorry but not sorry, that is the culture in a heartbeat.
Let’s talk about that for a second.
Think about how uniformed the military is for a minute. Everyone looks alike, everyone sounds alike, and everyone stays in line. What happens when you get out of line? If you break violations, there are consequences.
Think about Boston Bruins Wags for a minute ( Wags stands for Wives and girlfriends) The wife of Lucic suffered domestic violence and filed an assault charge but “miraculously” it was dropped back in February of this year because his agent and the team made it difficult for her to testify and the charges were dropped. But think about the WAGS whose job it is to ONLY smile, look pretty and be happy all the time.
NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN FROM THAT WAG GROUP SAID A DAMN THING ABOUT THIS.
NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN THAT WORKS WITHIN THE BRUINS SAID ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.
GARY BETMANN THE COMMISSONER DIDN’T EVEN STAND UP AND SAY THAT ASSAULT OF ANY KIND IS NOT TOLERATED IN THE NHL.
Why? Simple. It’s part of the NHL culture and it’s acceptable. So that is why the players go for basic chicks. A basic chick is EASY to control. A basic chick will not shake things up or cause a stir. A basic chick will not stand up for the other women in fear that they too can be assaulted or abused in any way. And of course, the guys will tell them to keep quiet because THEY DON’T WANT TO BE OSTRACIZED BY THE REST OF THE GUYS because “his woman” opened her mouth.
Think about Anna Kane for a minute. Everyone calls her “crazy” simply because she opened her mouth about domestic violence and how her daughter was taken away from her. The fact is, she is not crazy, what is crazy is that the truth she speaks triggers all those who want to live in this fake sexist world that is the NHL.
She needs to keep speaking her truth!
Something that I noticed from a NY Rangers wife on IG is the fact that she is AMAZING and she tries to have businesses and do things that make her happy outside of her husband’s hockey world. Every time she posts something where she goes off and does something amazing that she wanted to do she thanks her husband for, “Allowing me to be able to do it.” Um, excuse me? He “allowed” you do it? What are you, his slave? She should be allowed to do WHATEVER the fuck she wants to do. She is smart, beautiful and talented. She should not feel the need to thank him at all unless she is thanking him for support.
Another thing I noticed this past February. Jacob Trouba donated or painted some shit for Epilepsy NYC – His wife is a fucking doctor, and she is the photo you see below. The NHL public relations did NOT only MENTION her in the post, but didn’t even TAG HER! She knows MORE about Epilepsy than does the NHL and her husband Jacob! The reason is CLEAR why they didn’t mention her, it GOES AGAINST what the CULTURE is… and the sexism and misogyny at an ALL TIME HIGH!
And I won’t stop there. Sometimes these players pass around the SAME girl as they are appetizers. There is a guy on the Sharks that is married to a basic chick who dated another dude from a another team.
So before I continue let me qualify what a basic chick is or accepts for that matter. A basic chick accepts bare minimum at most. That’s it. Like I have said, they put up with the dudes bullshit. They never correct him, they are never supported publicly on social media or posted up, they never do anything else or demand to be treated better. They just accept basic treatment. The ones who are posted up are in a real relationship for the right reasons, the ones who aren’t, well, like I said, are only with him for the reasons that she is easy and breezy like I say below.
Why do you think I never “made it” dating an NHL player? Because I am extra and I am not going to sit there and let shit happen to the sisterhood that would be the WAGS. No way. I on the other hand, refuse to be tamed or groomed a certain way to “fit into the hockey culture”.
If you know me, you know that I protect all the people who are close to me. (Which isn’t that many but if you are in my circle, you are important to me.) I would though, as I have been told, would make an awesome hockey girlfriend, since I know the game inside out. I am a former cheerleader/ coach and I still work in the cheer industry so I know a thing or two about support and spreading positivity.
Now, I have NOTHING against a woman who wants to be a stay-at-home mom and just live off her husband’s means, if that is what she chooses to do. If a woman doesn’t want to better herself, that’s her prerogative. But I am saying here is the NHL doesn’t give women that option. You don’t see any woman who is married to a hockey player, who is a legend in her own right. For that matter you don’t even see hockey players on social media showing off their women like they’re proud of them, instead they hide them.
Did you know that 2 stars got married this year? Maker and Copp. But if you looked at their social media you wouldn’t even know that they were dating someone and the answer you get from guys as to why they hide their women from their social is a copout: “My life is private.” Yo, dude, there is a BIG DIFFERENCE between people KNOWING you are with someone and KEEPING that person a SECRET. And oh, By the way, A NY Rangers player or two does the SAME SHIT! These women are posting up them in their stories (which is literally a story for another day) and not posting on their feed about the “love of their lives”
And then there is this: These women are afraid to speak up about ANYTHING.
Last year, a NY Rangers had a player whose wife needed In vitro fertilization. That must not have been an easy road, but she did it and had a precious son. She could have been a spokesperson, a representative for all women who struggle. She had the platform to do that. But all she did was an IG story, and that was it. Was she afraid to speak up? Was she told to keep that on the down low?
Women or the WAGS don’t speak up about ANYTHING! They are the silent women of the NHL. They are JUST there to LOOK pretty when they can bring SO much more to the table.
The rest of the women who work in the league also work in silence. Imagine working for Gary Betmann who has two daughters and needs to “stay in line” so she can keep her job, which by the way, is rare for a woman to be working in this league in the first place since 36% of women work in the male dominant sport.
If you are a guy and you are the one saying, “Well, why don’t these women just come forward?” Here’s my answer for you to digest. When women come forward you men, DON’T support them instead you QUESTION and ACCUSE the VICTIM of what she is saying because OH My God, he’s your “favorite’ athlete. If women told you they were attacked by a wild animal you would believe them, no strings attached, but when a women tells you that they are attacked by a man, you question it. The worst is when you say they are “just thirsty, or they wanted that,” Um, not every woman is after a man for his money and I don’t give a flying fuck what the girl is wearing, no girl is asking for it. Also, you guys think it’s a flex to hook up with many chicks and be with “really pretty girls” that is not a flex, that just shows how immature and unstable you guys really are.
Also, I will not validate my feelings on social. I am sorry if this triggers you but if it does, oh well.
If you planned on commenting or a woman dating/married to an NHLer says “We aren’t forced to be silent we just don’t want to distract him or the team… blah blah blah…” I call BS. It’s not that you are forced NOT to open your mouth, it’s that you are scared as shit to open your mouth with fear. And that is wrong.
The NHL culture is AGAINST women. If it weren’t the commissioner would not be against creating a written policy to protect women and their partners.
Sexism is ingrained in the NHL culture as it is to socialize young males with masculine ideals. The process encourages young guys to embody certain traits such as sexism and misogyny and they are subjected to policing tactics that ensure that EVERY SINGLE NHL PLAYER adopts this way of life.
The best the NHL could do is come up with a dumbass slogan, “Hockey is for everyone” is a load of crap, whereas we are talking about sexuality, sexism, and bullying. By the way, Canada is so grossly engaged in the culture of hockey, that is drives that Country’s funding and sport policies.
If current player’s voices are needed and yet they will not recognize how they have objectification of girls and women, how can sexism and misogyny ever be challenged and changed?
Today, you see so many NHL players publicly revealing their struggles with addictions, is connected to this NHL culture that HAS TO CHANGE. Also, what is connected to this culture is the fact that the players are with hyper masculine ideals and that they are not manly if they don’t play through an injury. It bears to also note that the challenge within the hockey culture is that the culture is intentional. The guys struggle for what it means to recognize such behaviors. There is no room for a view of what it means to be otherwise; you are either part of the culture or you are shun from ever making it in the league. There can be NO player who is bigger than the league itself. And when there is, he is not treated well. If the NHL really wanted to celebrate women as women SHOULD BE celebrated, then this culture of having women be a carbon copy of another woman should not be a “thing” in 2024. EVERY woman is special in her own right. EVERY woman deserves respect, appreciation and love for what THEY bring to the table AND not TOLD what to bring to the table.
Why do men of the NHL want woman to bring the exact same thing to the table? What the hell are they so freaking afraid of?
And as I type this, I can guarantee you that behind closed doors some of the women of the NHL are abused and assaulted. If there is one thing, I have learned about watching hockey for as long as I have it’s this: I can pick up on vibes of the players who need anger management. So, if a player on the ice doesn’t get his way and get all heated, don’t you think he brings home that same type of vibe?
Note: there is data that backs this up. Don’t believe me, go on Google and find it.
To summarize, the problem stems from inside the league and blooms all the way around the league. The first step to create change is simple: The League needs a written policy and the players need to start being accountable for it.
So, will women finally speak up and have a voice or will they “stay in line” and “behave” like all NHL players want them too?
Time will tell, but in 2024, the TIME IS NOW.
In a world full of copies, be an original.
It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog piece, but I have a great excuse… I’ve been busy trying to get my shit together, but seriously who hasn’t been?
I have been working on multiple projects and I will have updates for ya soon. If you want instant behind the scenes stuff, then I invite you to follow my Youtube Channel where most of that is posted.
Recently I was back doing choreography for an upcoming R&B singer – and that felt awesome to be dancing again because here’s a hint from a creative person, when you do anything creative whether it is writing, music, art, dancing, etc.. it helps build up your creative juices! I think I will be doing more of that in the future!
And speaking of music, I am still putting together my album. It’s crazy to see how life really does go full circle. Back in the 2000’s ( the early portion) I actually was trying for a record deal even if I didn’t sing the songs but sell the music/lyrics to artists. Back then we didn’t have social media to do that, we needed to make a tape, mail it to a producer and then literally wait by the mailbox, which is was TORTURE! My cousin had a meeting with the same producer I sent my work too and that is how I found out that they loved my stuff. But … a lot of things how to fall into place and well, it didn’t.
Seeing now how God/universe was redirecting me and protecting me from the music industry now that we see all the shit unfolding with Diddy, makes me know that the timing was not right then. But like I said, everything in life comes full circle and now is the perfect time for me to have an album that I will produce by myself with the help of technology.
UPDATE:
So, the NHL is trying their “best” to make it look like they are “women friendly” and care about women by having women take part of organizations in a big way. The biggest way is with the Kraken and the hiring of Jessica Campbell as their Asst. Coach. Now, I will say she qualifies for this position and frankly she should have been hired years ago, so I question the timing of this. Especially with the fact that 5 guys are being tried in a Canadian court room next spring for sexual assault.
But this is here why the NHL SHOULD HAVE a policy to PROTECT HER.
The NHL commissioner STILL refuses! so what happens when she is sexually harassed? God forbid anything worse happens! I have sent The NHL over 4 correspondence and I have only heard back once! This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Here are some important stats:
Over 1 in 3 women in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
At least 5 million acts of domestic violence occur annually to women aged 18 years and older.
Domestic abuse can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature.
And here’s something else to know: Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality.
** I will be staying on top of this with the NHL **
Video Links: Remembering Johnny Hockey
Video Links: Matt Rempe ( his acting debut) – If you listen to my podcast, you hear me talk about how much I love his vibe! It’s authentic and real, not fake or stuck up like all other athletes.
This week BTW on my podcast which I do NFL picks, and talk about hockey (NY Rangers- mostly) I talked about positive and negative energy towards the end of the podcast. It’s really a good listen if you want to learn how to have the Championship Mindset.
Podcast link: click here
Did ya understand that?
The Gaudreau brothers were cycling on a road in Oldmans Township on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, when a man driving an SUV in the same direction attempted to pass two other vehicles and struck them from behind at about 8 p.m., according to New Jersey State Police. They were pronounced dead at the scene.
Police said the driver, 43-year-old Higgins, was suspected of being under the influence of alcohol and charged with two counts of death by auto, along with reckless driving, possession of an open container and consuming alcohol in a motor vehicle.
Higgins told a responding officer he had five or six beers prior to the crash and admitted to consuming alcohol while driving, according to the criminal complaint obtained by The Associated Press. He failed a field sobriety test, the complaint said,
According to court records, Higgins had two prior cases in North Carolina during the early 2000s. The records show he was charged with DWI in 2005 but the charges were voluntarily dismissed due to the officer involved not showing up in court. Higgins also had a speeding ticket in 2001 that was dismissed because of his good driving record at the time.
The irony is that Higgins was an employee at Gaudenzia, a nonprofit drug and alcohol treatment center, at the time of the crash. He has since been placed on leave by the organization. So you know, he knew full well not to get behind the wheel, but he did it anyway because he got away with it in 2001 and 2005.
Footnote: NBC Philadelphia
The entire NHL community has been grieving since August 29th. Well, almost everyone.
As I said, in a podcast out of 22 members of the New York Rangers only 4 players showed empathy and compassion by taking the NHLPA post and throwing it into their story and then maybe adding RIP or hearts. So many other players from every other team has shown respect to the Gaudreau family.
The NHL pride’s itself that it’s a brotherhood yet it is far from my brotherhood . it’s only a brotherhood when they’re sexism involved , or homophobia and racism. Most players only pick and choose what they’re going to show empathy towards what they’re going to show compassion for… and unfortunately, a lot of of them are narcissistic, arrogant and completely out of touch with the world.
The fact that MLB and NFL teams and players were classy enough to have a moment of silence or post about it, and some NHL players couldn’t even take the time to create an Instagram story or post something on TwitterX shows you everything that you need to know about the league.
It should not matter if they were ever teammates, they even talked off the ice, he was part of the exact league that you are playing in.
When Kobe Bryant passed away from that plane crash everyone in the NBA showed their compassion and their empathy. Even folks from the NHL, and MLB and NFL. Because it’s not that difficult to take your phone, go on a social media app, and post that. There’s no excuse.
But it doesn’t surprise me in today society how not even just athletes are out of touch with the world, but everybody’s been out touch with the world. People hate you for being authentic and speaking your truth instead of being fake and people pleasing.
People don’t like boundaries, they want to use you as much as they can use you and then when they’re done with you, they just discard you like you are trash. People also hate being called out, when someone points out said truth. The reason that people get so triggered is because they’ve been living a lie and living a lie is better than facing the truth. And what I mean by that is the fact that people will give athletes an excuse for how they are and who they are. They will give people in their community excuses for how they act, what they say about others, and how they go about their daily lives.
People today have no qualms about showing their insecurity, their jealousy and their envy, simply because somebody else’s light is brighter than theirs. Instead of celebrating those people, rooting for those people, they try to tear them down.
Just yesterday we had another school shooting, and it wouldn’t surprise me if social media played a part in that. You go on social media and people are trying to tear people down, bully other people, and not accept the fact that instead of asking questions about certain things, they judge them like they’re all high and mighty when they’re not even close to being that way. Nobody and I repeat nobody, including myself is better than anybody else. We are all imperfectly perfect.. we all have discrepancies. We all have flaws. And we all have strengths. That’s what makes us human. Unfortunately we don’t treat each other as human beings.
People today don’t give a rats ass about anybody else other themselves. Of course young people today think they know it all and they have nothing to learn from anybody else because they know it all. When they’re just growing and evolving. And they’re afraid of doing that. Because that means they have to step into their authenticity and step away from having the fake life on social media where people give them reinforcing attention.
I mean, let’s be real getting attention on social media is kind of fun. I get it. But life was so much easier and different before social media even existed. There’s some positives of social media. You make new friends on social media. You can network with other like-minded business individuals. You can put yourself out there. But there has to be some accountability. And I feel that if somebody has the nerve to try to dim your light, you have every single right to call them out on it. The old saying is true, if you’re gonna dish, then you gotta take it.
That especially goes for the people that like to stalk other peoples accounts, claim that they’re not stalking them, but they’re not following those specific people and then they talk about them like they know them and trash them. Lying about me won’t change the truth about you.
One thing about me is that I will never go through life playing small, being silent, and being accommodating for everybody else. I will never water myself down to make me more digestible for you. If I trigger you in any sort of fashion, that’s on you. Sometimes those who shine brightly always trigger those that rather live in darkness.
So if I’m ever a bitch to you, did you forget that I was nice and nice and nice and nice…. Then I was a bitch?
One thing I’ve learned during transforming my life over the last few years is that me being nice always got me disrespected, ran over and stressed out. I’m not nice. I’m a good person and there’s a difference. People are afraid to get to know someone like that so they’d rather hate on them first instead of learning who they are because then in turn, makes you a better person. God forbid we become better human beings.
We can always learn from others so always be teachable. If you’re not then you’re afraid to evolve and you’re afraid to grow and you’re afraid to learn.
The one take away I take from Meredith and Johnny’s relationship from seeing all the photos is that they BOTH posted up on each other. They look at each other in every single one of those pictures with so much love in their eyes which makes this even more heartbreaking. That’s the type of relationship that I want. That’s the type of relationship that everybody strives to have but sometimes is intimidated to have because it means being emotionally drawn to each other and being vulnerable and today people cannot be those two things.
If anything, these types of heartbreaking situations are lessons for us to learn from.
Life is short. It doesn’t come with the a set of instructions. It doesn’t come with the road map.. but it does come with moments that should be cherished and moments that should be enjoyed. We weren’t put on this earth to bicker with each other and fight with each other. We were put on this earth to help each other, to love each other and to realize that one of the greatest gifts is empathy and to understand that somehow mysteriously, we are all connected to each other. 
I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas!
Alert! Alert!
If you wanted a sneak peek into my life and what I do and what I can offer you, then hop on over to my website
I am in the process of working on a few projects at the same time: A new book, A new business venture, and also working on changing the NHL’s culture where women are concerned, which will be the HARDEST thing I have EVER done! But, I am up to the task.
Speaking of hockey, so the other day there was a post about Jacob Trouba and his 1st Art Gallery and oh, by the way, I have DMs and IG stories, where back in September 2023, I implied that his work should be in galleries and even though he treated me like shit when I asked about him coming on my podcast, I still did FREE PR and reached out to a few galleries because I still wanted to support the arrogant dickhead. That’s me though, always supporting and being loyal to people who would never do the same and really don’t care about anyone, including his wife. If you look in the dictionary under narcissist, you’ll find his picture.
Someone asked me the other day if he said he was sorry would I accept it? Of course, but words would mean nothing, his actions, would tell if he was truly sorry.
Speaking of losers, ladies… do you know the new way guys are cheating on their wives/girlfriends?
If they have an Iphone they are using the notes app to do it. You can collaborate with others on the notes so lets say a guy has a note titled, Home Depot List, Then he will send it to the girl he wants to chat with and tell her that he lives with his ex or some stupid fake story as to why he is chatting under that particular note. Then you can chat and he can also send you photos too.
Another loser update is the fact that the former NHL player, Michael McLeod, who is accused of sexual assault in the 2018 World Juniors Scandal, signed with the disgusting KHL.
I hope that karma is swift for the KHL. How the hell can you sign a player who is accused of such horrific things?
Of course some guys on the post in Twitter/X had to say something to defend him. Which is when I reply with this: Your comment is EXACTLY why women choose the bear- no one will question if the bear attack happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the phrase, “Innocent Until Proven Guilty”
More to come.
Stay Tuned.
When Fiction Becomes Non Fiction
Here I am, trying to change the culture of the #NHL AND get a written policy protecting women of sexual assault/domestic abuse and these authors continue to use hockey players in their plots. AND then expose its graphic content to actual hockey players which makes it seem okay.
There are 4 books “Ice Breaker,” “Collide,” “Cocky Score,” and, “Unsteady” that recently got my attention.
So, since the authors of these books did not do their research, let me enlighten folks for a moment. I don’t want to her well these ladies “just wrote a story,” that is gaslighting and then deferring responsibility and accountability. That is also saying that what I am doing is not valid. Writing a book and using a hockey player in the way they have in their books, makes it ten times harder to try and change the culture let alone try and get a written policy because no one sees or thinks what they are doing isn’t right. For example, In “Ice Breaker,” women want to read about romance, they want to be swept up so to speak, but what they actually find that all the sex starts to get in the way of the romance as it becomes more and more gratuitous, and THAT is part of the HOCKEY CULTURE! Safe to say I am not happy with this representation and the ideas it gives hockey players, let alone women.
Then of course, “Cocky Score,” which the title ALONE yells HOCKEY CULTURE! the female character is ridiculously shy and quiet; the male character is stoic and overly confident. Why do we think this type of romance novel is STILL okay?
In “Collide,” there was barely any hockey but this was a friends with benefits type romance which, doesn’t send a great message to women and sends the wrong message to men. In the book, “Unsteady,” the spicy scenes were not pleasant, i found myself cringing a lot while reading them and all I could think about was how unpleasant it must have been for that women who was raped by the World’s Junior Team. This comes off as a gentle romance between two people who are floundering in bad relationships and need to find real love- something that hockey culture can relate too, is the fact that the men of the NHL put themselves in “bad relationships” only to think cheating is the way to solve them.
What do these books have to do with the NHL?
These books portray women in a bad light and justify a hockey players actions they take. Now, there is no rape, sexual abuse, or domestic violence in these books, but the fact that they all portray hockey players as hypermasculine and using sexual relationships as a way of saying that is “romantic” is obscene. SEX has NOTHING to do with ROMANCE. We need to STOP having even female characters of novels put into uncomfortable situations and that it’s okay to sexualize women, especially in hockey.
In the NHL, you have women who get sexually harassed either by being a fan or even working in the league, which is highly male-dominated. Did you know that the front office of the NY Rangers, is only 6% female and that there were NO females that were on the draft floor this past June- as for MANY teams in the NHL. And just recently the Seattle Kraken hired Jessica Campbell, as an asst coach which sent social media into a sexism frenzy?
This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
Not only am I talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence,, which has occurred within the NHL. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia. Let me also add that there is a HIGH number of hockey players who cheat on their wives/girlfriends by having a second phone with a different number and using trainers/staff to hide it. So when we are ready a “love story” as in the book Unsteady, take it with a grain a salt.
In the book, “Ice Breaker” the question is asked, “She could never like a hockey player, right? ” These books portray a “Steamy Hockey Romance,” but what these authors don’t get is this:
An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”
THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.
If authors intend to use hockey players as the main characters for their books, can they learn to separate sex from romance and can the women NOT be reduced to mere love interests for the male protagonists and nothing more?
Stephanie 's Corner 