Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Stalking On Social Media Is Not Cool

I seriously need to learn how to speak stupid since most people don’t understand that they can’t keep crossing people’s boundaries and expect that to be okay.

Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Unfortunately social media stalking has become so normalized and I don’t mean spying on someone by looking at what they are posting and what they are saying. I mean flat out stalking. You post something, they reply. You talk to someone else, they interrupt the conversation by forcing themselves within the conversation. You flirt with someone, they act all jealous by saying something they think is funny when it’s rude.

You get the gist of what I am saying. That is NOT normal. That is NOT acceptable. That is stalking plain and simple.

What is worse is when they start Dming you to gaslight and manipulate you into talking to them when you are trying your best to avoid them and avoid the drama that goes along with that. Remember, Gaslighting is when they insist you said or did things you know you didn’t do. Call you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs or concerns. Often people gaslight because being right allows them to validate themselves. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. They are trying to get you to feel that you are at fault not them for their behavior.

There are boundaries that NO ONE should EVER cross when on social media and that making someone feel uncomfortable on a social media platform. Sometimes we do things without knowing that we are being that way and then there people who clearly know what they are doing and they don’t care how they make others feel. I have boundaries on line and no one is allowed to cross them. I don’t care who they hell you are, if you make me question why I am following you, why I am talking to you and why I am allowing you to follow me, then I act quickly and I block your ass.

There are certain social media etiquette rules that people tend to forget, so the reality is, social media is social interaction. It’s not just like real life; it is real life. So act accordingly by asking yourself before posting anything: Would I be comfortable saying this face to face? In the ‘real’ world, would you randomly approach an acquaintance and ask them for a favor?” Would you jump into a conversation with strangers without some context? Accept a gift without saying ‘thank you’?” Just because you are online doesn’t mean that these real life rules don’t apply. IF someone is PUBLICLY flirting with someone and YOU ARE NOT THE PERSON THEY ARE FLIRTING WITH STAY OUT OF THE CONVERSATION! Just because it’s a public forum, like Twitter, doesn’t mean that people need your 2 cents with EVERY SINGLE TWEET! When you do that you look like a jealous asshole who can’t contain him/herself and think you need to part of the conversation when it doesn’t concern YOU!

When you follow people, on ANY platform DO NOT LIKE OLD PHOTOS. That is the biggest stalking red flag. Do not belittle others, downgrade others or bully others on a public forum. First off it’s just rude and uncalled for. Secondly it does not make you look like a tough guy/girl, it makes you look small and insecure.

Know when to comment and when to be part of a conversation. There are many times that I see people having a serious conversation or they are so engrossed in the conversation on Twitter or even Facebook that I don’t bother to get involved. I will read the conversation, but I know my place. I know WHEN to comment and WHEN to stay out. I also know HOW to be an adult in a conversation which means that if you can’t talk to me nicely, and you start acting childish, I automatically block you.

Don’t be afraid to mute people or block them. You should NEVER feel uncomfortable using ANY platform and if someone is making you feel that way, you have EVERY right to protect your sanity and your boundaries.

Social media should be a place where you meet new friends, network, entertain others and also advertise businesses. Let’s all try to keep it that way.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

I Remember 9/11

I will always remember where I was on that day and how it impacted everyone’s lives.

I remember working at a school that day and having a co-worker tell me her dad worked in the North Tower and in 50 years he NEVER missed a day of work until that day.
I remember having to comfort a parent who thought his wife was on 1 of those planes. Luckily she wasn’t.
I remember driving home that night and seeing State Troopers parked at every exit on the Thruway.
I remember learning that my neighbor lost his dad that day trying to rescue others. He was a firefighter.
I remember hearing about friends who lost siblings in the buildings.

I also remember how this Country BANNED TOGETHER and NEVER let Politics stand between each other – how we were kind and caring of one another. We need to REMEMBER that because we as a Country have lost sight of what TRULY is important. If you don’t want to do it for yourself and your neighbors do it for the 3,000 lives that were lost that day.

Don’t let hate win but rather let love reign.

💙
♥️
Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Abortion and the right to it.

So, unless you are under a rock, today the US Supreme Court overturned Roe vs Wade, which in my opinion, they messed up way back in 1973.

First off, it NEVER was a constitutional right.

I don’t know what school some of you went to, but in history class or social studies as we called it, abortion was never part of the constitution. It’s not part of the 14th amendment it’s not part of the first/ second amendment it is not part of the constitution at all. Second of all row vs wade should’ve been thrown out, as each state makes its own rules and laws. Some state laws that differ from state to state gun control laws, custody laws, divorce laws, motor vehicle laws, business laws, but each are run separately.

Each state in the United States has a legislator as part of its form of government and most of the fundamental details of the legislator are specific in the state Constitution. State legislators are like miniature congresses no two are exactly alike. You have state legislators ,you have state assemblies, each state writes their own bills ,has their own budgets, etc. Obviously then we have the federal laws which all states are to abide by, but abortion should not be one of them.

Now of course what I’m going to say is going to trigger some of you, but I’m going to say it anyway. Abortion is not birth control! Let me say it again for those in the back, abortion is not birth control! Abortion is only needed for three reasons 1) incest 2) rape and 3) the mother‘s life is in danger and the only way to save her is to unfortunately abort the baby. It is not birth control where are you can have sex with as many partners as you want, get pregnant and have an abortion. If you would like to do that, then that’s what condoms are for, that’s what birth control is for. And speaking of condoms, everyone should be using them when you are having sex with multiple partners. There are things out there in the world called STDs, AIDS, being one of them and we stop the spread of those by having safe sex! So please, if you’re going to have sex use common sense.

Also for the men out there abortion is not so you don’t then have to pay child support for you being irresponsible by having sex without a condom.
I will also add that is why folks then put babies up for adoption. There are MANY couples and WOMEN who want children, but or some reason can not have them. Adoption is the ONLY way for some to go.

Remember every US state is also SOVEREIGN entity in its own right and it’s granted the power to create laws and regulate them according to their needs. Therefore abortion should be one of them whether you like it or not. 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Is Every Body Really Beautiful?

Having a healthy body image means that a person accepts the way they look without trying to change their body to fit what they think they should look like since society portrays “what we should look like and be” in order to be accepted. This attitude is very dangerous because the greater our discontent with how we measure up when compared to what society tells us we “should” look like, the more negative our body image, and the greater the risk for extreme behaviors.

When you are talking about weight and women, you cannot wage war on obesity without waging war on the people who live in those “obese” bodies. No one should be bullied for their weight or food choices, but ‘fat pride’ promotes dangerous weight levels. And while shopping at Target, yet once again, I came across a T-shirt that said, “Every Body Is Beautiful” – and I found myself saying, “No,” out loud. Empowering women of non-Barbie proportions to feel good about themselves, is one thing. But suggesting that being a size 30 is just as healthy as being a size 12 isn’t a body-positive message either – it’s an irresponsible lie. And what is worse is the fact that these women are being used in the industry to sell products, clothes, and food designed to “celebrate” their non-skinny bodies.

Think about this for a second: smoking is an addiction that many struggle to control, as is weight, but we don’t celebrate it with social media campaigns about smoking pride the same as they do with “fat pride.” While what you do with your own body is your own business, actively encouraging unhealthy lifestyle choices and denying health risks with being obese on social media isn’t promoting body positivity, it’s the stepping stones to having an eating disorder. This idea that you are “fat but fit” is just a social media campaign that promotes being unhealthy all for a good buck.

Now, as I don’t agree that every woman needs to be a size 2 to be accepted, I think the main focus of society shouldn’t be the outer shell we are in, but rather who we are as people. The saying is true, “Looks fade, but personality and who you are is forever.”

When it comes to weight and women, it really is a catch 22: damned if you are skinny, and damned if you overweight and then talk about it all. Why can’t we just be allowed to celebrate WHO we are, not WHAT we look like? Remember, we create a legacy for ourselves. Do you want to be remembered on how you looked, or on your character?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Remembering 9/11

9/11/01

I will always remember where I was on that day and how it impacted everyone’s lives. I remember working at a school that day and having a co-worker tell me her dad worked in the North Tower and in 50 years he NEVER missed a day of work until that day.

I remember having to comfort a parent who thought his wife was on 1 of those planes. Luckily she wasn’t.

I remember driving home that night and seeing State Troopers parked at every exit on the NY State Thruway

.I remember learning that my neighbor lost his dad that day trying to rescue others. He was a firefighter.

I remember hearing about friends who lost siblings in the buildings.

I also remember how this Country BANNED TOGETHER and NEVER let Politics stand between each other – how we were kind and caring of one another. We need to REMEMBER that because we as a Country have lost sight of what TRULY is important.

If you don’t want to do it for yourself and your neighbors do it for the 3,000 lives that were lost that day. Don’t let hate win but rather let love reign.

💙
♥️

#september11#remembering911#twintowers

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Breaking: Relationship Impossible

My book, ” Relationship Impossible,” the most anticipated book of the summer, was officially released on Amazon as an eBook June 5th.

You Can Purchase it HERE

In the meantime, you can listen to a podcast reading of the book here: CLICK

There will be a contest coming up soon and also a giveaway of the book AND my coffee brand that I am launching soon!

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

Follow me on TWITTER

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Sassy Nation Podcast

Each week I have a new episode- This week’s topics

On Sassy Nation #podcast

– Lebron James and his ignorant following

– Stop allowing the media to categorize people

-An inside look to my upcoming book, Relationship Impossible – And more ( Knicks won 7 in a row!)

#socialmedia

#nba


Click Here to Listen

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Social Media Is Out Of Control

When did #Facebook and #Twitter turn into The Maury Povich Show but then in the same breath turned into The Jerry Springer Show?People hating on each other and criticizing each other all damn day- People are afraid to have actual conversations because, geez, you might learn something and then of course the rest of you hate being wrong and have to argue until you are told that you right. (Or you use the dumb line, “Let’s agree to disagree, because you HAVE to make sure the other person hears your point of view!)

You all look like little children screaming at each other on the playground.
I’ve said it before and as a #socialmedia expert I will say it again:Social Media was NOT intended for Political discussion. And if you want to know WHY- you’ve all been witnessing the reason since 2015.


Show me pictures of your pets, kids, vacations, from long ago.Show me pictures of nature, of your favorite sports teams, your favorite foods, hobbies.

Talk about #inspring others

Talk about what you enjoy about life.

Post things that are funny, #motivating that show others you care.

Social Media was intended to BUILD UP the community and it was intended to BUILD UP EACH OTHER! It wasn’t intended for what you are all turning it into!(And don’t talk to me about Freedom Of Speech, and this is my page, please… STOP. What you post you need to be ACCOUNTABLE for: WORDS have POWER!)

BTW- we wouldn’t be in the mess if the people on BOTH sides would stop re-electing the same dumb-asses while at the same time expecting different results.

STOP living life as a Republican, Democrat, Conservative or Liberal and start living life as an AMERICAN. Try to be the BEST one you can be. When you start to do this , then and only then will things get better.

STOP attacking each other and start caring about one another. Remember, we are ALL in this TOGETHER-Together we RISE, Together we FALL. Which direction do you wish to go?

PEACE OUT(Oh, if you DARE comment ANYTHING on this post in a political matter, I will delete it – and you obviously didn’t let what I said sink in. )

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Say His Name: Cannon Hinnant

I’ve been torn about how to react to news of the killing of the 5 year-old little North Carolina boy that’s making the rounds on social media and NOT the mainstream media. As he rode his bicycle, the perpetrator (his next door neighbor) walked up to him, placed a gun to his head and executed him in broad daylight. Because the child was white and the shooter is black, many are contrasting the news coverage (or lack thereof) and reaction to this killing to the reaction to the death of George Floyd.

Though he was no saint, George Floyd didn’t deserve to die in the fashion that he did. BUT… George Floyd was a 5-time convicted felon. He once held a pregnant woman at gunpoint while she was assaulted, threatening to shoot her in the stomach. He was well-known by the police.  We gave George Floyd four televised funerals, a folded American flag, over 70 days of rioting and millions upon millions of dollars donated to his family. Hollywood held massive protests for George Floyd, including the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL players, paid tribute to this man.

What does this child get?

Where is Lebron James, Malcolm Jenkins, J.J. Watt, Dwayne Wade,  Odell Beckham Jr.  Demarcus Lawrence, Lamar Jackson, Carson Wentz , Derek Carr, and others? Did these athletes tweet or post that they’re “heartbroken”  at the news of Cannon Hinnant’s execution death?  Did Black Lives Matter even condemn the actions of Darrius Sessoms? Of course not!  Why do you think the mainstream media never covered it?  It’s not the agenda. We all know that if the colors were reversed, we would never hear the end of it. But because the color of skin is what they are, most people will never know that this heartless crime took place. The way the media is manipulating us is to purposely to divide us.

This child was sinless. He saw no color. He’d committed no crime. I can imagine him smiling at the approach of a neighbor, who he’d likely seen before, never suspecting that he was about to be harmed, much less have his brains splattered on his own lawn. There will be no protests, no riots, no cries for justice. Young black men won’t be targeted and killed in retaliation, as many police officers have been. Hollywood celebrities won’t provide him with a golden casket or fund multiple funerals in cities across America that will be televised and broadcast live across social media.  “Black privilege” won’t become a trendy phrase and this child’s name won’t trend on Twitter. Tens of millions of dollars won’t be raised to support the battle against systemic child brutality and abuse, and “CHILDREN’S LIVES MATTER” will never be painted on Broadway in New York and have justice for Cannon billboards put up all over the town thanks to Oprah.

Black Lives Matter doesn’t care about the gun violence happening in Chicago and New York. Black Lives Matter doesn’t help the black kids in the ghettos and doesn’t try to help those kids stay out of drugs and gangs.  It’s a group that only shows up when a white cop ( who really never should have been allowed to stay a cop) kills a black man.  And the fact that every Sports League; NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL paid “homage” to George Floyd and Black Lives Matter is a joke.  These leagues don’t have backbones, instead they want to appease their players.  These players don’t understand that the reason we should stand for the national anthem is to honor all those lives that we lost on 9/11.  Those innocent people were all of different colors, religions, backgrounds, yet we HONOR them simply because it happened on our soil.

Holding a sign,  wearing a T-shirt, chanting a song, taking a knee, or going on your soap box  ( Twitter and Instagram)  isn’t going to change a damn thing!  It’s the actions that will finally make a difference.  Getting your hands dirty to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

I believe that we are all created in God’s image. I believe that an evil, wicked hatred is spreading in our nation like a cancer.  My heart breaks over the division we are seeing.  People have become so jaded.  They look at everything that happens and have to “add” color to it.  They look at everything that happens and have to blame someone for it.  Instead of showing compassion and kindness towards everyone.  That is the one thing I remember from 9/11- the kindness that everyone showed each other afterwards.  We cared about one another. Not because of skin color, but because we all bleed red.

I pray daily for our nation and everyone in it.

His name was Cannon Hinnant. He wasn’t racist. He wasn’t violent. He wasn’t a criminal. He was an innocent five year old boy.

When you honor a black man who was a criminal just because he was killed by a cop- you aren’t changing the narrative, you are continuing the narrative.

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Words Matter: Be Ashamed If You Body Shame Others Online

Yesterday was my cousin’s wedding ceremony.  Due to Covid19, the wedding has been postponed twice, so they decided to have a legal ceremony on the day that they had their first date.  That’s not what this post is about, but it’s the partly the reason I am writing it.  Yesterday I wore this little black dress that I recently bought.  It was a dress that was not loose fitting, but a little snug in the midsection.  Every time I ever need to dress up to go to a function, I spend hours in the mirror criticizing myself about how I “think” people are going to perceive me. ( Of course I am wrong, but my brain doesn’t think so at the time.)  I put this dress on and spun around looking at myself in the mirror, looking to see just how much of midsection was “noticeable.”   I hate to go out and not look “skinny,” in whatever I am wearing.  I say to myself that If I don’t feel comfortable that I will have a lousy time.

Yesterday was very different.

I usually end up talking myself out of wearing something and put on something else, but yesterday I didn’t. I kept that little black dress on and went to the wedding and enjoyed myself.  Now, I am not fat. I am not obese. I am not heavy or big-boned. I am of a normal weight for a short girl.  I don’t wear a size 0 or size 4 or even a size 6.  Depending on the brand, I am any where from a size 8 to a size 12.  Seriously, the way that clothes are made today is unreal.  I should be the same size no matter what brand I buy, but I am not.

This got me thinking yesterday of all the body shaming going down on social media lately. I see young girls on TikTok posting videos of,  “How to get skinny.”   I see young women posting videos of them telling others that they have to get back to being skinny and so forth.  I also see guys, body shaming women.  Some of the comments are so over the top nasty.

1) ” I don’t know what you are doing but you look so much better now! Look at all the weight you lost!”

2) “If you lose weight someone will love you.”

3) “Look at that fat body. What a waste of a pretty face.”

4) “You don’t have the right body to be doing that.”

5) “Why are you posting a picture of you in a bikini when you are no where near being a bikini model!”

6) Now that Pat Mahomes got his big contract he can now dump that disgusting girlfriend.”  ( yesterday, he got the biggest contract in NFL history)

Now body shaming isn’t just about saying rude and obnoxious things, but it’s also when a guy ONLY pays a woman a compliment on HOW she looks.  ( Beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sizzling, etc,”  Why can’t guys ever just compliment  a girl/woman without using her looks as part of the compliment?

Now we all can do one day with a bad hair day, or wish that parts of our bodies were different, but sometimes it is overwhelming which stops us from doing all kinds of things.  We start to develop anxiety about our bodies. We start to question why someone would even want to love us or even be with us in a romantic situation.

This is why body shaming has to stop.

We then become ashamed of our muffin tops, love handles, or flat bums. We then pick apart other parts of our body like our noses, thighs, arms,  and legs. And for what? To be accepted by a bunch of immature, self-conceited , superficial guys who don’t look like the Ken doll that they should be as they want to be with ever girl that resembles Barbie!

Give me a break!

Looks don’t make the man or the woman.  What should matter most is the person they are on inside; their personality.  Would you rather be with someone so vain or be with someone who was caring, compassionate, funny, and who supported your vision for the future?

Looks fade, who that person is from the inside out stays forever.

The next time you see someone body shaming someone else on social media tell them this; ““I do not give a &$#! about what men think about my body. I don’t care about what women think about my body. My body is not for other people, and the only person whose opinion matters about how I look is mine.”