Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy. It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.
Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.
There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.
Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!
In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!