Guys in your twenties, don’t knock it until you try it.

( The video attached is for those over the age of 18 )

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow! Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? What is this world that we live in!

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage but that doesn’t mean he lacks communicating. Be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)
And remember, character over looks; personality over money; and loyalty over materialism.

Friends, Benefits, Lovers: The Vicious Cycle

Why does it seem that women use sex as a tool/reward/weapon in relationships to get what they want, in order to get their way while men do just the opposite?

(Some) men use love as bait to get sex from women, while (some) women use sex as bait to get love from men. Go figure, right? And they somehow think that this is a “relationship.” Yes, I have heard the term, “Friends with Benefits,” but I can tell you that just because there is a term, it’s not actually what is happening.

Every “friends with benefits” relationship that I have heard about, has always ended on a sour note. Women process sex through emotions while men process it through the physical aspect. Mostly, they go “through the motions” especially when it’s with someone they are not emotionally connected too. This is where that whole game of giving the other person what he/she wants, never ends up turning into what we planned in the first place.

Look at how some women try to get attention these days and the poor saps that fall for it hook, line and sinker.

You have women who dress sexy to get attention and when you point it out they say something stupid like, “I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to look good,” but they are total hypocrites because they only dress that way when they are purposely trying to get a guy’s attention. Yes, confidence is important if you want to succeed in life. And its important to feel good about one self, but it is necessary to dress or limit what you wear just to get attention? They dress in revealing clothing, then get upset when their objective is met…men/women staring at them. Give me a break! And you see all the selfies on social media with women who are HALF-naked and all the men’s comments underneath it… please STOP.

It gets annoying because some of us actually don’t want to be looked at as a sex object. Some of us females wants to be able to dress nice or wear that mini skirt because its the style, we like the designer or we want to wear it just because.

There’s a BIG difference between classy and trashy that most females today forget.

Then there are the men and athletes who are insecure, hungry for attention, want their egos boosted every chance in hell they get, so they use something that is precious to a female, love, to bait them into giving them what they truly want: sex.

Some men actually think that it’s okay if they use a woman to gain whatever it is from them. So they “fake” the relationship up to the point where you give in to their sexual advances and of a sudden that guy is “history.” GUYS: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!

It’s important for me to note that NOT ALL men and women are this way. But you will always have a case of a girl who is an attention-whore and in that case the guy who falls for her crap. Now, I have used the term “gold-digger” before and I will tell you athletes this: If a woman/girl is dressing in a certain way to get your attention and that is how she gets your attention, that is a red flag. A woman who enjoys your company, who makes you a better person, wants you to be successful, and makes you feel like you are on top of the world, and does not expect you to buy her expensive shit; that woman, is not a gold digger and I bet you met her when she was “clothed” – that’s the difference.

I don’t think its right for anyone, male or female, to lure a person into believing that they like them to the point where they feel there are having a relationship, when in reality they are just using them. Relationships take time and they are hard to find in this world. Where as today, so many people treat others like they’re as disposable as diapers.

So how can you tell when a guy or girl is actually interested in you- for you and not just as part of a conquering list? (Remember how in my last blog post, I told you that NFL players think it’s a flex to be with many girls?)

The easiest answer to that question is this; Every once in awhile, someone comes along that makes you realize-it is worth it. The best relationships happen unexpectedly. We never realize the power of a single human being until one comes along and conquers our heart. When you force yourself to fall in love or be with someone you are setting up yourself to fall and to fall short of the relationship you deserve. A “Friends with benefits’ relationship is telling you that you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to invest feelings in. Real love is knowing someone’s weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

Remember, a good relationship is worth the wait.

Relationship Impossible available now as a paperback and ebook on Amazon.

Stay Sassy

This is an unusual blog post of Stephanie’s Sassy Corner…

I’m not going to be giving you advice on dating, on social media or even give you my 2 cents about football, or whatever else I throw into the fire. You see I have spent the past fifteen years becoming a expert in helping you understand how dating apps are only good at creating nightmares in your life, how social media has transformed business and of course you have my view on just about everything sports related ( mostly football)… I wanted to give you something that was different and out of the box. But now I see that as a broadcaster (that is what a content creator/podcaster is on social media) that we shouldn’t always be doing things that are trending but to do things that are valuable and post content that is REAL, RELEVANT and RELATABLE!
I have always been my real, sassy, blunt self on each and every podcast and blog piece that I have written, but now with that said, I am rebranding and refocusing my content so it stands for something that has clarity around my identity, narrative and purpose. Not only will I also stay real, relevant and relatable, but I will do it in a much different way.

I realize that even though I enjoy my podcasts, writing my blogs and social media posts, there was nothing from that they brought me instant joy. From now on, I want to live and enjoy every moment when I do my shows and write my blog posts and even do social media. I don’t want to waste time just doing it for the sake of doing it. So I will still talk about dating, dating apps, social media and of course NFL Football, it will be done in much different way!

Sassy Nation will still be the same day, Tuesdays and it will still be an audio only podcast.
The Sassy Show which is presented my Rockland World Radio which I have done live streamed on Facebook, will be moving to Youtube every other week on a Thursday.
The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm will now be an online entertainment show WITH video each week on Fridays. I will have some audio after show comments that will be just for subscribers.

And the Playing with the Boys podcast, will be a Twitter Space on Wednesday Afternoons.

I hope you will join me on my platforms and the way I do them change this week.
I no longer will be on Instagram – you can follow me on the following:

Twitter
Tiktok
Pinterest
Nextdoor ( which is the local page only )
LinkedIn
Youtube

Woman Gets Duped On A Dating App

Am I supposed to be shocked at this headline? It’s 2022 and women STILL haven’t learned how toxic, full of scams, and sexually-hungry dating apps are?

The story goes like this: A young woman thought she had met someone so incredibly special and talked online for many months and have fallen in love with him. So the next step is naturally to meet in person. She packed up her life and moved to Singapore to be with him and when she got there; she got the shock of her life: He was married! I though, am not shocked. This type of story happens A LOT!
Studies suggest that dating apps can make people feel more insecure about their appearance and bodies – and even become depressed. Studies have shown that the same areas of the brain that become activated when we experience physical pain are also activated when we experience rejection. Dating apps have turned dating into an “addictive game.” It’s now considered shopping for humans with the swipe of a thumb.

We bench (put a potential partner on hold in case we find someone better), breadcrumb (lead someone on), and ghost (use a fake profile to spy on their Instagram stories) which can seriously make someone want to vomit at the thought of dating. People have start realizing that dating apps are not for real connections, but for quickie ones. Dating apps are the drug that helps the boost the ego quickly and there we have created another narcissistic human thinking that as long as we get “high” on love we’re good.

Is it finally time to go back to finding love the old-fashioned way or can we still use technology as a way to build those connections we so badly want to build?

We’ve spent the best part of two years stuck behind screens which were steered by algorithms, so taking matters into our own hands feels exciting. That does not mean that we need to disembark technology all together. Social media is a great place to meet people of all backgrounds, yet is is still misused and most don’t understand how to use it in a positive way. When you have more conversation with the same person over and over again you start to build trust. Trust then build a relationship. You never know what you can learn about someone through conversation. I’m not saying that you should look at social media as a “dating pool” but in terms of finding people in which you have similar likes and views, it’s a great start if you still want to use technology to get to know people you otherwise probably wouldn’t meet in the real world. I still believe that meeting people and talking to people is the best way to know if that person is “the one” for you. The old saying is 100% true’ “Never judge a book by its cover.” And on social media and dating apps, you have to always remember, sometimes people cover up who they truly are, that’s why it’s best to get to know someone, meet them, talk with them; and let your gut intuition tell you if they are for real or not. You can’t tell that over text. You can’t tell that on a post or an app. At the end of the day, a relationship will not last if the couple doesn’t share a mutual bond on every level, including as individuals. Feeling your partner was committed to the relationship for the long haul and how appreciative you are of your mate were the largest predictors of relationship satisfaction.

And remember, it’s never a good idea to settle for someone who doesn’t provide the level of affection and passion that you want – no matter what that is. Relationships are not about playing games. They’re about mature and honest communication; don’t be afraid to have one.

Is He or Isn’t He?

There are things that guys do on Instagram that show you up front that they are players and not legit meaning the guys you need to STAY AWAY from. ( Sadly, most of them NOT all of them are athletes, ya know, because they think they are superior to everyone else. )

  1. He won’t follow you on Instagram – This is a classic sign by the way. And the reason being is pretty much simply that he’s hiding a relationship, and wants women to think he is available when he is not. It’s classic because guys who are proud of the woman they have will show her off to their followers. Guys who want to let other guys know – she’s mine; she’s taken. If a guy doesn’t want you to be be his follower on IG, then he is simply hiding something he doesn’t want to see… and to top that off, ANYONE that still has a private account is surely hiding shit.
  2. He is a bikini account troll – He follows EVERY girl that his posing in her bikini, it doesn’t matter if she is a supermodel, an influencer, or the girl that leaves next door to him. He doesn’t want you to see that, hence why he hasn’t followed you nor wants you to follow you. By the way, most quarterbacks/athletes in the NFL do this and when they do it’s a sign that they are the most superficial guys on the planet. Any guy that ONLY focuses on a woman’s looks and that’s it, isn’t a guy you want to date let alone stand next too.
  3. Now, let’s change gears and let me tell guys how to understand if a woman is interested in you and also a word of wise to the ladies out here too! First, to the ladies: if you are interested in a guy it’s OKAY to pay attention to them, it’s OKAY to treat them like you feel a special connection to them because out brains are more psychologically primed to like people who like us. Don’t though only focus on him and him only. The reason being is that when you focus on more than one guy, the guy that is truly attracted to you, will lock you up and not want you to pay so much attention to other guys, Yes, jealously here is what makes guys realize that he wants you and therefore he will invite you to follow him on IG, he will post about you so every guy knows hands off, she’s mine. So guys, if a woman is paying attention to you it’s because she sees the best in you and wants you to connect with you. Again the brain does unconsciously attract others who share similar interests in. Instead of ignoring her and playing the stupid mind games, reciprocate back, have conversations, after all, conversation is the heart and soul of Instagram and social media in general. It’s okay to talk to folks who aren’t in your circle ( circles don’t have corners) – it also widens your horizons when it comes to learning and growing as a person. You never know what you can learn about someone when you take the time to have a conversation with them.

Part 2: Strong Woman, Weak Man

As I left off in the last post, do these guys realize the power of having a strong woman or are they seriously intimidated by one?

Many strong women are confident and exude a masculine energy. It seeps out of a strong woman. She can be spotted in a crowd and recognized as being strong. Usually, strong women are on top of their game and have their affairs precisely in order. They run a tight, efficient ship. Strong women do not tolerate attempts to silence their energy or quiet their spirit. Once a strong woman has a firm hold of the wheel of her own ship, it is very difficult to just hand the wheel to another party. There is a tremendous amount of pressure to step up and lead in the same strength and manner of success as a strong woman. Not all are up to the task. When a man meets a strong independent woman who is smart, can handle herself, makes good money, and can make herself happy, then a man will feel that he’s not needed in the relationship and can’t fulfill his desire to be her hero. But what a man refuses to understand that a woman may not “need” a man but she surely “wants” a man – and that is the simply wanted a man to love and be loved by.

Some men feel incompetent near some women. On the other hand, while men would find the Alpha female attractive, he would really open up to a woman who is not scared of exposing her vulnerable side. He would find the contrast quite interesting. Similarly, women feel safer around men who are not shy of their emotional needs since this trait shows honesty. The truth though that is interesting, is that men, or better yet boys, don’t want to be a strong woman because she won’t put up with his bullshit. He wants a woman who will “allow him” to get away with all his toxic behavior.

I realize that I made deeper friendships only when I opened up and put my honest self out there on the table. That’s when I stopped generalizing people and started viewing them as unique individuals – one of whom was myself. I find vulnerability quite attractive among men especially NFL athletes, and found admiration for both my strength and independence as well as my vulnerability.

If you’re open to a lifelong relationship with an independent, strong woman, we make passionate, fascinating, and confounding partners that keep things fun.

But, we’re not for the weak of heart.

Wanna Date An Athlete? Here’s how to find them on Tinder

Do you want to find an athlete on Tinder? If you are a paid subscriber I will get into how you can find out which athletes are using #tinder – there is an actual way that works to do this.  Also, I discuss how stupid athletes are that are on Tinder – and other dating apps.

I also talk about the rumors on social media about me and my dating life. Which are humorous BTW. 

I will get into the #NFL with their #covid protocols- plus there’s always 1 jerk that needs to bring race into everything on #socialmedia.

This is all EXCLUSIVE content called The recordings of a fangirl #sarcasm that is part of the #SassyNation podcast.

Click here to subscribe

Coffee First, Wine Later ( A series of blogs)

I have some EXCITING news!

Drum Roll Please….. … …. …

I know what Santa wants you to get your family and friends for Christmas and the holidays!

Introducing …. A Sassy Productions:

Coffee First, With Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee and Wine Later with Sassy Productions Inc.

Supplies are limited for the WINE… but ANYONE who orders coffee ( CLICK HERE ) will qualify to order a bottle of my Rosé Wine for HALF the price!!

You also will be put in a drawing to WIN A BOTTLE FREE on #blackfriday!

I also will be giving away FREE Coffee and having a special #BlackFriday Sale!

Remember, when you support a small business, you are supporting a dream and helping it come true one purchase at a time!

The Recordings Of A Fangirl #sarcasm

I hate the term “Fangirl.”

I also hate it when girls are called groupies or for those girls who love hockey, they are called “puckbunnies.”

It’s not a compliment.

So “Fangirl” or “fangirling” is not, in and of itself a sexist term. Nor does a man using it guarantee it is meant as anything other than a description. Can it be sexist? Sure. It can be meant dismissively or as a slur. I’ve seen women trash talk “fanboys” as well.

Intent is definitely the main part of the equation. If a guy looks at a panel room, a bar full of girls watching a game and shakes his head while muttering “fangirls” …yeah, he’s probably being sexist.

I always feel the need to defend myself when that term is used to pigeon-hole me. Why? Haven’t you heard? Fangirls are crazy, obsessive, desperate, shallow, hysterical females, who only care about the attractiveness of the athletes in question. What would they know about sports?

I have developed a podcast called, “The Recordings Of A Fangirl #Sarcasm” to talk about girlie things, sports, dating, athletes, and my usual sassy rants are part of it. These will be a bonus if you subscribe to my podcast “Sassy Nation”

Here are the links:

The latest podcast: CLICK HERE

The 1st episode of The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm: CLICK HERE

A Day In The Life Continues …

If you saw my previous post, “Exclusive BTS from a Girlboss” then you saw what it’s like being me. No two days are the same. I have posted other pictures on my Instagram feed and Twitter feed – showing you some other behind the scenes stuff.

I was all set to do another one but instead I decided to just talk frank with ya about what I am up too. There are many hats that I wear each day. Today for example I had a meeting with someone who is going to help my businesses succeed at a different level. The other day I had a meeting with someone who helped me organize some business ideas. Now what I need to do is a complete overhaul with my websites, blogs, shop, social media platforms and organize them appropriately so they all don’t run into each other. The only social media platform that will basically stay the same with the type of posting that I do will be Instagram – but I am changing up the Bio. I have separate IG accounts for books, which I don’t use that much, Cheer, which I don’t use that much and now my coffee IG account. I have a few Facebook fan pages that need an overhaul – completely and my shop on one of the Facebook pages along with my shop on 1 of my websites will be getting a complete makeover.

I just finished doing a photo-shoot at a fast food chain that I am representing on IG and will also put stuff on Twitter. Oh yes, My twitter bio needs to be redone as well plus I have other sites that I use to make money from that need to be organized to do 1-2 things not 5-6 things. What I notice is that when you overload customers with thousands of options they don’t purchase from you. Therefore you need to separate things and have certain sites do certain things.

Also, you need to have a strategy with everything you present online.

My podcast and my radio show has changed over time. It started as just talking about social media platforms and how they work and ideas for businesses to create engaging content and it exploded with talking about trends in the digital landscape , things everyone is talking about on social media, and athletes usage of social media ( which has become a top topic)

So today, I am doing my radio show “The Sassy Show” On my Facebook page at 3pm EST time, then spending quality time with my nephew, niece and brother (hopefully my sister-in-law too!) Tomorrow I have my networking meeting at 7am. I am the educational coordinator of the group. After that I have to set up Facebook content for clients and we have my mom’s retirement luncheon. Then I will take the rest of the day to myself.

Saturday and Sunday I will spend time organizing platforms, websites, and such. But I also will take time for myself. It is the summer time and you need to enjoy yourself. Monday it’s back to the grind.

There ya go folks. A behind the scenes in writing- not video or pictures. ( I though will post videos and pics on social media this weekend BTW)