Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Dirty Little Secret

Someone ACTUALLY posted this on Tiktok…. why? I don’t know.

Reasons to delete these apps! Number 1 & 3 NAILED it.

IF you click the videos and watch them on Youtube, you will see two things:

  1. Tinder IS ONLY a HOOK UP APP and people are STUPID to post about it.
    I know sometimes people like to post things for “shock value” at times, but why on Earth would you WANT people to even think that you are hooking up with a date in a hotel?
  2. IF you still think that you find your mate on these apps, sorry. You don’t. You settled.
    I said what I said. You settled for someone out of frustration, confusion, pressure to settle down or with the amount of folks you swiped on this app, which is called choice overload, you chose the wrong person.
  3. Remember, men on average hook up with 5-7 women and women hook up on average with 3-5 men on Tinder. IF you read the previous blog post, I told you EXACTLY how these apps work and how they trick you into believing you met your “soulmate” when you didn’t.
  4. The 2nd video NAILED the reasons I have been telling you WHY you should DELETE these apps and find love a different way. I am a strong believer that you can use social media, but it’s limited as to HOW to use it for this purpose. I just posted a video on my Twitter as to HOW you can get to know someone … it’s VERY simple:
    a) ask questions on line and have conversations in public first don’t just slide into DMs b) then take that relationship offline.
    c) I also noted that athletes and just regular joes should STOP asking their teammates and friends if they should “date” someone. Seriously, your teammate or friend is not going to date her… YOU are! If you feel a strong vibe towards her- ASK her OUT!


    You can read more about relationships and dating apps in my best selling book “Relationship Impossible”
Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Friends, Benefits, Lovers: The Vicious Cycle

Why does it seem that women use sex as a tool/reward/weapon in relationships to get what they want, in order to get their way while men do just the opposite?

(Some) men use love as bait to get sex from women, while (some) women use sex as bait to get love from men. Go figure, right? And they somehow think that this is a “relationship.” Yes, I have heard the term, “Friends with Benefits,” but I can tell you that just because there is a term, it’s not actually what is happening.

Every “friends with benefits” relationship that I have heard about, has always ended on a sour note. Women process sex through emotions while men process it through the physical aspect. Mostly, they go “through the motions” especially when it’s with someone they are not emotionally connected too. This is where that whole game of giving the other person what he/she wants, never ends up turning into what we planned in the first place.

Look at how some women try to get attention these days and the poor saps that fall for it hook, line and sinker.

You have women who dress sexy to get attention and when you point it out they say something stupid like, “I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to look good,” but they are total hypocrites because they only dress that way when they are purposely trying to get a guy’s attention. Yes, confidence is important if you want to succeed in life. And its important to feel good about one self, but it is necessary to dress or limit what you wear just to get attention? They dress in revealing clothing, then get upset when their objective is met…men/women staring at them. Give me a break! And you see all the selfies on social media with women who are HALF-naked and all the men’s comments underneath it… please STOP.

It gets annoying because some of us actually don’t want to be looked at as a sex object. Some of us females wants to be able to dress nice or wear that mini skirt because its the style, we like the designer or we want to wear it just because.

There’s a BIG difference between classy and trashy that most females today forget.

Then there are the men and athletes who are insecure, hungry for attention, want their egos boosted every chance in hell they get, so they use something that is precious to a female, love, to bait them into giving them what they truly want: sex.

Some men actually think that it’s okay if they use a woman to gain whatever it is from them. So they “fake” the relationship up to the point where you give in to their sexual advances and of a sudden that guy is “history.” GUYS: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!

It’s important for me to note that NOT ALL men and women are this way. But you will always have a case of a girl who is an attention-whore and in that case the guy who falls for her crap. Now, I have used the term “gold-digger” before and I will tell you athletes this: If a woman/girl is dressing in a certain way to get your attention and that is how she gets your attention, that is a red flag. A woman who enjoys your company, who makes you a better person, wants you to be successful, and makes you feel like you are on top of the world, and does not expect you to buy her expensive shit; that woman, is not a gold digger and I bet you met her when she was “clothed” – that’s the difference.

I don’t think its right for anyone, male or female, to lure a person into believing that they like them to the point where they feel there are having a relationship, when in reality they are just using them. Relationships take time and they are hard to find in this world. Where as today, so many people treat others like they’re as disposable as diapers.

So how can you tell when a guy or girl is actually interested in you- for you and not just as part of a conquering list? (Remember how in my last blog post, I told you that NFL players think it’s a flex to be with many girls?)

The easiest answer to that question is this; Every once in awhile, someone comes along that makes you realize-it is worth it. The best relationships happen unexpectedly. We never realize the power of a single human being until one comes along and conquers our heart. When you force yourself to fall in love or be with someone you are setting up yourself to fall and to fall short of the relationship you deserve. A “Friends with benefits’ relationship is telling you that you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to invest feelings in. Real love is knowing someone’s weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

Remember, a good relationship is worth the wait.

Relationship Impossible available now as a paperback and ebook on Amazon.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Hype that once was for online dating, is simply over

In the beginning when online dating first emerged in 1995, with the world’s first online dating website was launched in the form of Match.com everyone was excited. The nights of trolling bars, clubs, and every other place in between was “officially” over!

Then came dating apps, and more apps, apps for athletes, professional careers, older people, Ivy league, etc. You name it, there is a dating app for a certain niche of people.

Various studies indicate that men, more so than women, search for youth and physical attractiveness in their potential mates. On dating sites, men are more likely to display their resources, athleticism, and strength, while women are more likely to alter their physical appearances through clothing or the use of makeup.

These differences also manifest in the ways men and women deceive each other. When attempting to impress potential mates, men are more likely to try to deceive women about their levels of dominance (i.e., masculinity) and resources (i.e., income, career expectations), while women are more likely to try to deceive men about their physical appearances.
Keep all this in mind as we talk about how this is just the start of a down fall with dating online and apps.

Men deceive women about relationships and use dating apps as an easy place for a hook up. A student overseas was told by Tinder that she swiped right over 100k. She complained that people online were only looking for a ‘quick hook up’ and her dates from Tinder didn’t last longer than two meetups. She has since abandoned online dating, saying meeting people in person ‘works 100 times better’ and is 11 months into a happy relationship with her boyfriend, who she met offline. She complained that on Tinder most men were just interested in casual sex and weren’t looking for a genuine connection. The 21 year old student even had to un-match potential suitors for sending her ‘creepy’ messages, which is basically the story of EVERY woman on a dating app.

Now there is a new study has found that married couples who met on dating apps have a higher chance of getting a divorce. (Only what I have been telling you and readers since 2011) The study conducted by the Marriage Foundation and assembled by the UK-based polling company Savanta ComRes, researchers polled over 2,000 adults who were at least 30 years old and married at least once in their lives, found that 12% of couples who found their significant other online got divorced within the first three years of marriage — compared to only 2% of lovers who met offline. After seven years of marriage, the likelihood of divorce for a couple who met through an app shot to 17%, compared to 10% of those who met through pals. The research also found that 8% of couples who linked up in school and 7% of spouses who met at work divorced within the first three years.

Now, if you meet a stranger on a social media app, don’t knock it. Well, at first. Social media is a great tool to meet interesting people and create relationships, but you must be smart about it. Know when someone has a fake account compared to a real account. Here are the RED FLAGS for fake accounts on Instagram:

1) Profile picture- lack of one or one that looks too professional/ photo shopped. 2) Private account 3) MANY followers and following thousands, but have NO Posts. 4) Have posts, but they are recent and not posted correctly ( just photos on Instagram, no copy) 5) They message you from another account to get to you follow the main account 6) The bio and the comments are generic 7) they ask for your phone number or personal information immediately – this is true of a SCAMMER. 8) They won’t Facetime you at all. ( They can still be fake and Facetime you – so take note of the conversation you are having. IF you keep asking to meet up and they keep saying no and have excuses- fake.

If you know WHO the person IS on line, it is always better to get to know that person verses a complete stranger, just be smart about it. ( An athlete is a good example of this- although athletes are known to have what are called burner accounts (fake accounts) to spy on what fans think about them and what the media is saying about them without the person’s knowledge.)

TOP places to MEET people:

  1. Coffee Shops
  2. Gyms
  3. Dog Parks
  4. Volunteering
  5. Sports leagues
  6. Airports
  7. Bars
  8. College Campuses
  9. Parties
  10. Grocery Store

*** The Bonus Coverage of Relationship Impossible will be a 2 part bonus. Part 1 will be in a podcast form – you can subscribe here CLICK HERE or you can purchase the journal which will be Part 2. (coming soon!)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Wait Is Over!

The wait is OVER! Pre-order #Ebook form only: “Relationship Impossible”

What people don’t realize about dating apps in general is that you need a lot of swipes to get a match, a lot of matches to get a number, a lot of numbers to get a date and a lot of dates to get a third date.
Dating sites are good at baiting people to try them out. They lie about how many active members they truly have, use fake profiles….. But, remember, just because it is popular, doesn’t mean it actually works!
In this book, we will divide in, head first, on the hook-up culture, dating apps, social media, and also discuss some serious topics such a dating violence, gaslighting, ghosting, stalking, and more.

We will also discuss professional athletes and their use of social media and dating apps.

*** Those who pre-order the book will have a chance to WIN FREE coffee from my coffee brand that I am launching ****

CLICK HERE TO PREORDER

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Love Is Like A Game Of Chess

Breaking: With my upcoming book, “Relationship Impossible” comes a series of Journals that can be purchased to be used or just used alone.

The first one, seen here, will be released in a few days.

You can use it to write about all your dating adventures and at the end of the journal are questions that you can have fun asking your boyfriend/girlfriend ( Or use them for conversation starters!)

Look for the book, “Relationship Impossible” to be released May 28th.

The next journal will be released in June.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Good Girls, Bad Boys, Nice Guys, to Bad Girls

Here is part 2 of the preview “Relationship Impossible”

Some guys have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.

I’m not saying that guys should just ‘settle” but they aren’t going to be happy if every time they discover a flaw in someone, they go to somebody else because every woman has her own flaws; no body is perfect. (And vice versa) Find that someone who makes you better, without trying to change who you are

Now before guys get their pants in a bunch, to be fair, I have seen guys do just this; they find a woman who is a down to Earth, “good woman” and then they find a flaw in her like, “Not pretty enough” or “too strong minded,” so this way they avoid commitment because to them the “bad girls” are more attractive than the “good ones.”

This is the reason that guys are hitting on girls on social media at a high rate and hooking up with girls left, center, and right on dating apps. They want the one and done relationships instead of the ones where they have to commit to one girl and “build a relationship” with her. That takes time, energy, effort and work.

Men find bad sexy because the things they plan on doing to bad women are likewise “naughty.” Bad is naughty and naughty is sexy. Good, on the other hand, sounds boring. Their definition of sexy is misinterpreted. And then of course, these same guys think that “bad girls” are better in bed than “good girls” which has been proven to be a myth. The “bad girl” that men are so taken by at times isn’t someone who is morally corrupt, but the challenge that a bad girl poses. One of the factors that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most ‘bad girls’ ride big on the persona they create. Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their true character online.

For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level – and that is why guys have to “test the road” with bad girls first before they settle down with a “good girl.”

Then there is the saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of bravery by being patient and understanding. He’s not really being nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoor and windows to enter your kingdom. There are also those guys that fall into this category:

The too afraid to ask you out “nice guy” who will pass himself “ just a friend” in hopes that you will one day see how great he is, therefore, being the one who asks him out. Then he romances the hell out out of you in hopes that he no longer will be in the “friend zone” but moved to the “boyfriend zone.”

Of course the guy stuck in the friend zone will be thinking that the girl he has the hots for only wants to be with a, “bad boy.” You know the type: The “bad boys” that some women are attracted to are usually nothing more than punks, thugs, and assholes who believe that society’s rules do not apply to them. They are someone who do dangerously interesting stuff that differ from the so called boring everyday of expected routine behavior of other men.

If we say that “bad boys” are not outright criminals, but abusive, arrogant, manipulative men. Well, such men don’t usually show this side of their personality to a woman they want to attract. They are predators, their purpose is to attract potential “prey”, not to scare it off. Abusers and manipulators don’t appear as such until the “prey” has fallen into the trap. So, we cannot say that women are attracted to the abusers or manipulators as such. Women are attracted to the personality they want to show. The issue is actually that abusers and manipulators find it easier to appear confident and comfortable in their skin. On one hand, because they can play any role they want and usually have a lot of practice doing it. On the other hand, because they really don’t care about other people, they don’t really care if they succeed with one particular woman or not. They just move to the next target.

The majority of women are not attracted to “bad boys” because they are “bad”, but because it is easier for such men to make initial contact and take it from there. “Bad boy” romances, being more forbidden/against norm/full of regret stories/full of drama/etc, are simply better topics for gossip than a nice, normal, quiet, healthy romance- think about all the movies, TV shows, and books you have read and tell me which types people prefer. Of course, when you turn on Hallmark Channel, the girl always gets the boy she wants and the bad boy turns good at the end, which in reality is usually never the case.

Good girls, bad boys, nice guys, to bad girls, there is always going to be stereotypes of how people behave when it comes to sex, romance and relationships.

What it should always come down to is finding the right partner. One of the ways to do that is to find someone you can talk to. Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. You might disagree at times, but by being able to be open and honest with each other, leads you to fulfill what you want out of the relationship. When you make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, the rest starts to fall into place. ( Part 3 coming soon…. )

You can purchase my best-selling book which was also nominated for Book of the Year, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid, 2nd Ed”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Bend ( A song)

One of the things I love to write are songs.

I have written many songs – I have been trying to put them on Youtube as best I can.

Here is the latest song that I have placed on Youtube – it’s called Bend. The Lyrics are included on this link for the song. It’s not the best listening quality – but …. it’s good.

LINK <——-

I also will throw out another link for another song I wrote called “Let It Go” Click on the title to be taken to the song.

Song writing is so much fun and it also can get personal. But I especially love writing songs when I need a little creative juice flowing.

**** Working on my follow up book, to my best seller, ” Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” called, “Relationship Impossible” which should be out in 2021

Paperback is also available for those who still love to hold them

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A sneak peek of my upcoming book, “Relationship Impossible”

Coming in 2021 is the follow up to my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed”   The book will be titled; ” Relationship Impossible,” as we continue to discuss online dating, dating apps, social media, double standards, men and dating,  single-hood,  sex advice for women and men plus a lot more.

With technology being the sole way that people today communicate, there has been a lot said of social media and of texting.  Many people use direct messaging as a way to talk to someone without having to “give up” their phone number right away to talk.  This also can be seen as a red flag because any guy that keeps refusing to give out his number is mostly cheating. BUT… in the beginning DM’s are the most popular way to reach out and “touch” someone in 2020.  This method of communication brings a lot confusion and misery at the same time because a lot of guys leave girls on read.

For those who are still in the dark days of communication, here is what to be “left on read” means:  To read someone’s message or messages and not give any response, particularly on an instant messaging application where it is visible to any user as to whether or not the person has read a message.   Now that we cleared this up, here are 5 reasons a guy leaves a girl on read: ( The explanation for each will be in the book.)

1) They are avoiding conflict.

2) They are overwhelmed.

3) They lack confidence.

4) They don’t see your worth.

5) They don’t know what to say.

NOTE: Just because it says read, doesn‘t mean it was meant to be read. They might‘ve seen the message come in, not wanted to open it, accidentally did and just moved on without responding.  Or they are attracted to you and like you—so they are going to play a little game. They are going to make you think the complete opposite.  Which can always back fire on a guy- they don’t think it will, but 9 out of 10 times it does.   Some girls then get bitchy ( myself included) and after weeks go by, leave a nasty, “You are such a jackass,” type message for not answering me at all.  This is how this “strategy” the guys seem to think will work back fires because they made us think number 4 on the list, when in fact they see our worth but want to play games instead.

Being left on read, just doesn’t happen in the dating/relationship world. It also happens in the social media world of athletes and fans.  Have you ever responded to an athletes Instagram story and hoped to get a response? Have you ever sent them a message and hoped they would respond to you?  If the answer is yes, then you are not alone.  95% of fans of sports teams and athletes have sent messages to their favorite players to only be left on read.  5% of athletes actually respond back.  That is a fact.  This is because of course, number 4 on the list, where they think they are “better” than you and that you don’t deserve a simple response back.  Now, if your message is one of hate you don’t deserve them to a respond but instead you deserve a good kick in the ass for being rude and vile. That type of stuff is uncalled for!

Athletes as I have pointed out in the past, don’t understand social media as well as they think they do. There is so much power within the platforms that they don’t use it as it is intended but rather use it to make themselves, time and time again, look ignorant.  ( See Chapter 7: Social Media and Dating Apps: A New Game for Today’s Athletes. )

The “hook up” culture will also be discussed at length but I also will touch on the sex industry once again.
In the best seller, which was also up for book of the year 2016, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd ed”  we discussed that not only is porn one of the top selling industries, but also adult toy and sex accessories are a growing second. There are websites for guys, for girls, and for couples. And more and more women are having “slumber” parties and I don’t mean sleepovers. (see, its not just the guys!) here is a website that is designed for women to purchase sex toys, sex guides, sex outfits, (you know like sexy maid, sexy cheerleader, sex firefighter,) and sex products that add a little erotica to a playful evening. The best thing is that this company is like “Tupperware or Avon” where women can work and they get to go to another woman’s house and “show off’ the products. (No guys, there are no
demonstrations, sorry to burst your bubble there.)

** You can purchase Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed Here —-> Link  **

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Exciting Announcement

First and foremost I am excited for the launch of my first T-shirt Store: ONLINE ONLY!

There I will sell different t-shirts rotating the type every 3 weeks.  I have 5 designs on the site now- 1 of them is for charity!

Click here to go to the store

The next exciting thing is that I released some more of my music that I wrote back in 2008. It is now on Youtube –  it’s music only, no singing ( not yet)

Here is that link

Finally,

Here are all the links on where I be doing the contest for charity that I will be doing all #MemorialDayWeekend:

1) Facebook Page

2) Pinterest

3) Twitter

I will be giving away signed copies of the books I wrote along with gift cards and I designed some fashionable tank tops with mini tote bags. I also have signed autographs from some baseball players that will be auctioned away.

Hope to see you all this weekend during the contests for charity!

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

**Sneak Peek**

Here is a quick sneak peek of the follow up to my best seller, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” which I am in the process of putting together now.

First the title:  I will release the name of the title on my IGTV series: Behind the Scenes: The Diary Of A Social Gal

Secondly The Content:  There will be 10 chapters in the book.  Most of them will be about dating apps and online dating.  There also will be a chapter or two about social media dating, which is trending up this year as a place where folks believe they can meet their “special someone” without having to deal with scams, cheaters and those who are looking for hook ups.

Thirdly: I will talk about women issues, give men some advice about pick up lines and how to actually pick a woman up the decent way, and update you on some of the stories I told in the previous book.

Fourth: I will talk about athletes, dating apps and……

It’s going to be an AWESOME book and I can’t wait to share it with all of you!

update