Better Together

If you listen to my podcast, you have heard me talk about how cheerleaders belong with athletes, and not just any athletes, but hockey players. And let me add, not necessarily a NHL player, but ANY player ( EHL, AHL, OHL, KHL, etc)
This guy on Tiktok helped me out tremendously by putting these together. A shout out to nackarockers for taking the words right out of my mouth. Just in case there was any doubt!

I will have A LOT of to say on Friday on the podcast. A LOT to say. As I think about this…

I smirk. I smile. I laugh literally out loud. The entire thing is crazy to me.

Question: why do people prefer people to be fake, secretive, and almost cunning, instead of being open and not afraid to be vulnerable? Why is it when you don’t have any outside motives that people still think you do? And so forth.

To Be Continued…. Oh, plus more on the Metro Division, playoffs, Cap/Escrow, CBA, the NY Rangers of course, and some other stuff… ( Fashion takes and question to guys on facial hair, spitting, and smelling salts, and crazy things I need to know!)

As always you get the sassy, sarcastic, up front version with no filter Friday. Yipee.

Twitter

Tiktok

IG : See below:

This is the part when I say I don’t wanna…

For the last 3 months or so, guys have been brave and sliding into my DMs … but of course… either looking desperate, trying pick up lines, or showing their jealously as to the “age range” that I have made clear as to whom I will date. The video below pretty much speaks for itself… then let me continue…

I had no idea that so many guys over the age of 35 would be attacking me over my choice to date younger guys… and oh, hockey players. When I mentioned this it’s like all these guys older than 35 came out of the wood-works and had to ask me directly … and then some of them even were brave enough to shot their shot ( that I will give credit too!)
Now, I don’t have to validate my reasons for what I want and I don’t have to ask permission either. But what I will do is spell it out as clearly as I can.
1) Yes, I date guys who are 23-32 BUT I have dated guys that are 21 and 22… there are always exceptions to what I feel I want to do but with that said, don’t get your hopes up if you’re older than 35…(or 34) that rule of mine is staying put.

2) Cheerleaders belong with athletes. Period. We go together like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, bread and butter… hello?! Yes, I know all about the stereotypical ideas put out there into the world about cheerleaders: ( They are dumb, they sleep around, they lack talent, blah blah blah) so trust me when folks hear that I used to be one and still in the industry men think they can easily “land me” but that’s not true at all. If anything, I am hard to “land” since I have high standards and will not go against those. I will gladly give an athlete a chance, but if he only thinks I deserve bare minimum, he’s got another thing coming! Yes, I don’t need to be nor want to be their 1st priority. Their 1st priority should be to their career/ team, but seriously there needs to be a BALANCE .
So trust me right now when I say, that if I like you, take that seriously as a compliment. I don’t need anyone to complete me, I WANT someone in my life to grow and build with… that’s the difference.

When guys say to me in DMs that the “only” reason I want to be a hockey player is because of how they “look physically” I giggle and roll my eyes. I don’t give a shit about a man’s hairline, if he has 6-pack abs, buns of steel, muscles, etc. .. that to me is a bonus, not a reason to want to date anyone. The mindset, attitude , character and personality of a hockey player is the main reason why I am attracted to them. Being that I am an ex-athlete and a current coach, I have the exact same mindset as they do… plus I understand the demands of their job, support them 125% and am as loyal as fuck (I have people who back me up on that BTW)


I have you all know that I ALWAYS NEVER dated: doctors, male nurses, lawyers, cops, firefighters, or guys in the military. Why? Well, doctors/nurses/lawyers hours are NUTS. They are NEVER around when you need them. Their jobs are demanding and oh, forget about kids… if I had kids with a guy who did one of those things for a living I would NEVER see him- neither would the kid. Vice Versa if a guy marries a female who does those things… a nanny mostly would be raising those kids! As for Cops, Firefighters and military dudes…their jobs are just way too dangerous and I would be a wreck worrying about them – that is not something I want to do.


Now, going back to the hockey player point being, as too what I am talking about in regards to personality, attitude and character;
look at this story on a hockey player and what he did for a fan: Click here to read the story
But to phrase this tweet: A couple weeks ago after a Columbus Blue Jackets victory, a guy witnessed a young girl bawling her eyes out while talking to a mutual friend in the concourse. He asked her what was wrong. She explained she was near glass waiting to get Korpi’s autographed stick. After he was announced as the first star, Korpi took a victory lap and pointed right at her, tossed the souvenir stick up over the glass. It landed in this little girl’s hands for a split second until someone behind her snatched it from her grip. She was inconsolable…. you can guess what the rest of the story is, right? This hockey player made it right. You hardly see that with other athletes unless it’s being recorded for their social media to show that “they care” This was NOT recorded. This happened and a guy told everyone on Twitter what an awesome dude Korpi was!

3) As asked in my DMs: “So, you’re just going to say no to other dudes who aren’t hockey players? Aren’t your standards to high?” My answer in a tweet: “You’re standards are too high” Well those standards protect me from low quality experiences. So I’m not afraid to say no! See, I know what I bring to the table. I am the prize. I am a rare breed. This is just another reason why folks should get off those dating apps… if you see what options are left, then you would understand NOT to settle just to settle. And remember what I have said previously, men marry the woman in front of them not necessarily the woman they are meant to be with because they settled when they should have said no. Here is that blog post

4) It’s always the most laid-back women made out to look complicated and crazy by a men who didn’t even try providing her with the basics of what she deserves. See, I don’t settle for bare minimum and NO ONE should settle for that- ever! I ALWAYS tell folks that if you think I am too much, go find less. ( BTW that is what you will find on a dating app)
Date someone who’s interested in you. And I don’t mean someone who finds you funny & cute. I mean someone who genuinely wants to get to know you. Find the person who wants to get to know every aspect of who you are because that is a keeper.

5) “So, you only want to then date guys from your favorite team, right?” Another fabulous DM I received the other day! And to answer it:
Well, maybe. The guys who shoot their shot GET a shot! And who’s to say that guys from other hockey teams are not in my DMs now? Um, hello! I don’t tweet out or post out WHO I am talking too… EVER. That’s a major rule of mine. Trustworthiness is something I take seriously and I don’t screenshot conversations either.
Like I said previously, it doesn’t matter how much I like a guy, if he ain’t up to task of at least getting to know me, I don’t chase, I replace.

6) “So, why young guys and not guys that are older?” Simply put: young guys want to grow, they want to build something, they want adventures and they are not afraid to leave their comfort zone as are older guys. Older men LIVE in their comfort zone. Older men try to “tame” me where younger guys enjoy my carefree spirit and the way I carry myself. I never have been with a younger guy (athletes) who cared so much about how smart I was, especially as a blonde, cared about me having my own company, or cared about how spontaneous I am at times. Older guys… ha!

7) Closing, if you follow me on Twitter you know that I love having conversation and my vibe I bring is very magnetic. (Hey, all these years doing cheerleading and dance brought that out in me.) I am ALWAYS open to meeting new people, no matter anyone’s age, and if you’re a guy and know that there is no chance in hell of ever dating me, but you enjoy having conversation on numerous topics, hit me up. I make a great platonic friend in that , I will always have your back. If anyone ever feels that they need someone to listen to them or needs advice, my DMs are always open.
I want to be the light for someone who feels that they don’t have that. Life is better when you are caring, compassionate and kind.

And you don’t need to date me in order for me to do that.


Why chase you when I’m the catch?

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I say that with the question in mind, “How long do you give a guy whom you gave your number too, to actually use it before you say, Fuck it and move on?” It’s a known fact that most men will not call you the day after they meet you, for fear of being perceived as too eager or desperate. (Which is the SILLIEST thing a guy can do!)

Then of course women try to analyze WHY he hasn’t called and if he plans on calling, which is again, a stupid thing a woman can do. Now of course there are MANY scenarios as to why a guy won’t call. Let’s look at those:

1) When a guy doesn’t call, he might be preoccupied with work or other commitments. He might’ve not had the time or headspace to give you a call. It’s also possible that he’s too busy to focus on his personal life, especially if he’s someone who constantly gets overwhelmed with work or the schedule is too crazy for him to actually have time to call you or even text you for that matter.
2) They want to test you to see if you are going to chase them. Which if you read this blog, you know that my motto is: I don’t chase, I replace. NEVER chase a guy. First off, it’s a waste of energy and secondly it is a foolish game to play. Sometimes men think that showing emotions and expressing their interest will drive them away from the people they like. They’re trying to keep the mystery and interest alive by playing hard to get.
3) Research says phone anxiety might not be as uncommon as people think. If he’s someone who’s suffering from a social anxiety disorder, there’s a good chance that they feel very uncomfortable when calling you.  He is already insecure about himself and thinks you are freaking perfect, ( which NO ONE is, especially me, and he stupidly thinks he doesn’t deserve you!)
4) Men are NOT good with emotions. Period. They struggle with showing people how they feel and expressing themselves clearly so sometimes a guy doesn’t call or text a girl who shows him interest especially because HE IS interested in her as well.
5)He’s not into you. Yes, there is a serious possibility that is just isn’t into you and he is NEVER going to reach out. So, should you put all your eggs into one basket or move on to someone else?

You know how the story goes, you move on and have options, and he sees you with his friend, or someone he knows or even a complete stranger that is not him, and he panics and will text you. This then leads you to make a decision as to which guy you are going to choose. Which if you ask me is not a bad thing. I would continue to date the guy that you are entertaining while planning to then go out and meet for drinks with the guy whom you gave your number too. Let him point blank know that you are not exclusive but that you want to be exclusive and see what happens.


BUT- here is a tip for the guys. …

Men underestimate a silent female. If she is quiet and no longer interested in what you’re doing and she’s paying attention to another guy… she mostly is finished with you… and if you want her you are going to have to show it to her since he fumbled the bag and didn’t call you nor text you and it’s been OVER a month. Then by all means, let him walk. If he decides to mess it all up & lose the BEST thing to ever enter his life…that’s on him not you.

Also, on a different note, here is a men fact for the ladies to know: If a guy is criticizing another woman: Her looks, how she dresses, how she talks etc… He’s ATTRACTED to her. Period. You’re welcome.

Always know that you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the prize and 1 lucky guy is going to be thanking the guy that didn’t want to show interest in you and took a risk and dated you. That new guy is going to be so happy that you also were smart enough to know that you have options.

You can HAVE any guy your heart’s desire…. don’t settle on the one that is still unsure.

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow, let the jokes rip. Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? Seriously?

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Dan: When I meet a woman over 30, she’s usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don’t have time for that drama—that’s why I like mature women.

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

I should add though, older women are likely to have a stable career and be financially secure. So, when she chooses a partner, it tends not to be about wealth. She tends to be with someone she WANTS not someone she NEEDS and that is the one thing that separates the girls from the women. Women who are independent do just fine without a man, so if they want you, you must be pretty damn special to her! And being with someone who admires her, supports her and is 100% intrigued about her is exactly why it never seems to work out with older guys.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)

A Theory On Men

Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy.  It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.

Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.

There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.

Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!

In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!

Do You Know What It Takes?

Recently, someone asked me, ” What is the bare minimum in a relationship?”

That question is loaded one simply because most people don’t quite understand that your standards need to be higher than the bare minimum, which you should be getting anyway.
They put in minimum investment in the relationship, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. Bare minimum-ing someone means exactly what it says: you’re only giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The bare minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. My advice to everyone is to never settle your standards and stoop low for someone ONLY giving you the bare minimum. Here are some examples of someone only doing the bare minimum:

1) A person who respects your boundaries
2) A person who doesn’t demand to know all your passwords or snoop through your phone
3)Someone who likes cuddling or talking when you’re together than scrolling through their phone
4) Someone who gives compliments without being asked
5) A person who remembers your birthday or at least keeps it listed where they can be reminded
6) A person who always finds time to be with you
7)A person who says sorry when they are wrong
8)Giving compliments is not doing a lot. But Giving One Without being told to do that is what they should be doing.

Those are prime examples of the bare minimum that everyone in a relationship should be doing. But IF they also if They Only make an effort to keep you around, and your relationship never grows, that is also a cause for alarm. Why? Because they are only doing the bare minimum and it’s mostly like They act like a roommate with whom you have sex with. They don’t make any effort for romance or adventure at all.

People tend to think that expectations are standards and those two things are totally different. For example, I expect to be treated with respect is not a standard but an expectation. I expect him to be loyal, caring, compassionate, loving, honest, etc. again, Those are not standards. Expectations are the ideas we have about how we want certain situations to turn out or some people to be. Standards, however, are a level of quality that we set for ourselves that serve as a basis for good judgment.

I never tell guys what exactly i am looking for because if I tend to tell them what my standards are, then they tend to do them with no intention of staying with me and only finding a loophole to use me in some way. This way they have to put in the work for the entire relationship not knowing what exactly my standards are until we take the relationship to the next level. if we break up then that means they didn’t live up to my standards, seriously.

i know what i bring to the table and what I bring is rare. i am ultra supportive. i am ultra kind, caring and compassionate. i am smart, sexy, passionate, adventurous, creative, and a go-getter. i don’t have time for guys who don’t see that in me and who don’t want me to be an even better version of who I am.
I also want to make a guy want to be a better version of himself. I want a guy who is going to want build something together as a team, not someone who is just out for the ride.
So, do you think you have what it takes?

Dating, Sex, and all that Jazz

I started writing about dating back in 2008, back when online dating started. I said back then that it was a crazy idea that was going to get folks into trouble, and in 2022, I am still correct.
Dating via looking at a dating app is such a superficial and careless way to date. Period.
You are trusting some dude on the other end of the app with your heart, your body, your emotions, and your wallet. When more than half the time that dude is either a two timer, rapist, ex-criminal, scam artist, sex offender, or just a plain douche bag looking to hook up.
Dating shouldn’t be casual, either. I never quite understood how someone could just “casually” date someone while doing all the things that a couple does while dating. If you don’t have the time to devote to building something meaningful, then there is no point to dating. Period. Dating is more than just having fun in the sheets too. I mean, yes, sex is part of dating as it should be, but if you develop feelings for the other person and they don’t feel the same, you can end up getting hurt. Not to mention that you just wasted precious time with someone who didn’t care about having a relationship with you, they just wanted to have sex with you as in “Friends with benefits” and “casually” hang out with you when they have “time.”

Recently on Twitter some dude reached out to me via DM since he listens to my podcast all the time, and asked me, “What is it really like to date you?” That question is not an easy question to answer, seriously. Sure, I am fun, adventurous, spontaneous, have high energy, and am seriously easy going until you cross me, but how do you really answer that question? So in my sassy and sarcastic way, I answered it this way:

The pros and cons of dating me are ironically my mouth.

There I said it. #sarcasm but really the truth.

I’m not going to be known as a woman who was afraid to open her mouth and speak up against hate, and I know what I bring to the table and I am proud of being that rare breed in today’s society where you need to be a woman who is “submissive and flaky” to get a guy. At the same time, when I mention this, guys automatically think “slutty” and like I have said before, the fact that guys want girls to act this way and girls think they need to act slutty to get noticed by that athlete or by that guy they have their eyes on, is just completely trash. You can be sassy, sweet, seductive and sensual while at the same time being classy. That is the woman a real man will want anyway. Boys wants slutty. I don’t want a boy, I want a man. Period. You want to be treated like the classy bitch you are- not a doormat.

As I talk about trash, I also think about all the porn I have seen on Twitter in the last few months and I have to say it is the most distasteful thing to ever post on a social media site. Porn is a billion dollar industry and still is, but to post that on a social media site where kids are, and where folks go to have a conversation is so uncalled for. Now I am certainly no prude, as I talk about sex and if you read my best seller, “Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” I told readers of the most interesting positions to try. Yes, Back in the day as a full time blogger, I wrote for many online sites that talked about sex and people would message me and ask me for new things to try in the bedroom. I wrote for a site like Cosmo, called Rant Dating, for those who are interested to know. It doesn’t exist anymore but it was fun to work on, especially when I interviewed a condom company and did an “influencer” post for them before we even knew what a social media influencer was!

Also I have mentioned of course how the TV show, “Sex and the City” changed how women viewed sex, as it has always been a touchy subject when it came to the topic. But there are places to put it and places not to. And if that’s what you’re into, great. I have no problem with it. The problem I have is the fact that people are dumb enough to not only post it on Twitter, but then retweet it. Here is the social media tip that some need: When you Retweet something EVERY ONE of YOUR FOLLOWERS get to see that on their feed. This is NOT what your followers want to see. Now, if you want to create a DM group conversation on the porn you love to watch, go for it.

Just keep it classy on Twitter.

I’m next level so legit with all my chic!

This particular blog post is broken down in 3 segments – the Podcast with Link, The Fashion segment and the dating segment. A little something for everyone!

*** Podcast Segment and Link CLICK HERE ****

The Fashion Segment

Here are links to the latest fashion videos. 1 is ALL NY Rangers and the other is titled the men of the NHL

Also, we continue the countdown from the NY Rangers 2016 team of the TOP dressers! We’re up to Number 2: That is no one other than Mats Zuccarello Here are the photos:

Look at how chic, dapper and playful . Look at how he can make a suit look REALLY good without a tie! He wears the vest over the shirt and that brings it all together.

Here he is classy and organized.

I ALWAYS talk about how the TIE brings the ENTIRE suit together. Not to mention his shoes. Accessories are so important, even for men.

Even with casual clothing he brings the swagger A simple T-shirt and jogger pants look chic and polished.

DATING SEGMENT

There’s a lot to be said about a girl who isn’t afraid to go after what she wants. Sometimes that in itself rubs people the wrong way, especially when you are extremely secure within yourself. I posted this quote on Twitter the other day, and it’s so true. “Lowkey, to date me you gotta be mentally strong because I’ll push all your buttons. Even ones you didn’t even know you had.”

We have discussed in the past about how guys are simply afraid of dating an independent woman and I have mentioned that for athletes, an independent woman is the best match for them simply because they need to focus on their careers and it is extremely demanding!

Here’s reasons to date an independent woman ( like me)

First thing is to understand that her actions are deliberate and there’s a reason behind them. The secondly thing you need to know is that an independent woman isn’t afraid to speak her mind! She is also going to be very loyal and very supportive. Being that I am a former cheerleader and have been coaching cheerleading for years, this statement is truth. I will always want my man to be successful at whatever he does and I will push him as best as I can to go after his dreams.
Dating an independent woman doesn’t mean that she won’t be dependent on her partner- no, we depend on our partners to provide love, attention, affection and also support us as we chase our dreams, we just aren’t clingy. I don’t look to a relationship for validation at all. I look to a relationship as a team. To some this may be surprising, even though we enjoy challenges and competition, we’re usually uninterested in playing games or chasing a crush. If we flirt we you, that means we want you. If you take too long to reciprocate, we move on to someone who will. That may seem, “mean,” but we shouldn’t have to wait forever for you to make that move to make us official.

I have asked guys out in the past, or at least hinted that I wanted to go out with someone. Then of course, still, some guys have to be the one to ask you out. Okay, I’ll bite, and I will sit back and watch you and wait for awhile, but if you wait way too long, even though I am extremely attracted to you and feel sexual tension, I will go and pay attention to someone else and move on from you, even if that kills me. Girls like me don’t come around often. Why should I have to sit around and wait around for you to finally decide that you want to go out with me?

I know what I bring to the table. I am a rare breed. (As are true independent women are!)

The best advice that I can give guys is this: If a girl wants to BUILD with you and is SUPPORTIVE while she’s building up her own dreams, don’t give her a chance to even look at another guy. If she ONLY wants to build with YOU… don’t be a jackass and let your ego or pride or anyone allow you to mess it up.

Also, I always laugh when I hear that other guys are whispering about me to the guy that I want. It’s like they are so incredibly jealous that they tell him not to take the chance of a lifetime with me since they can’t have me. Like, how much of an asshole of person do you have to be that you don’t want your teammate or friend to be happy?
This is why I stay out of telling my friends who to ask out or date. I am not the one who lives with the decision- they are! And I don’t want to be the reason they missed out on a great experience going out with someone they want to because of how I feel.

And of course the jealous fuck girls will go out of their way to make themselves “known” in the process- ( If you listened to my podcast I talked about this!) This is why I only date guys with the warrior mentality. They too are a strong & independent people who aren’t intimidated by me. We actually can have a lot of fun together and like I said on the podcast, if you are into adventure, sarcasm, and want that personal cheerleader in every which way possible – you’d jump up on the chance of lifetime. Anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind. Remember, Be savage, not average. Unless, you just want basic.

What Adam Levine Did Is Not That Uncommon; Sadly

On Tuesday after Instagram model Sumner Stroh claimed she had a year-long affair with the singer and then the floodgates opened up. Model Alyson Rosef shared her alleged direct messages with Levine in a now deleted Tiktok where she told everything that he said: “I shouldn’t be talking to you you know,” . Alyson claimed she had many more messages, but didn’t want to show them as they are “not appropriate.” Another woman, Maryka, a comedian, posted DMs from Levine on her IG story. One where she says to Adam, “Dude, aren’t you married lol” and he replies with, “Yes but it’s a bit complicated,” adding, “I might get away.” The final woman to come forward was his ex-yoga instructor who claimed he sent her messages while in a relationship.

This type of behavior has every one scratching their heads, ( but me) because he is married to a freaking Victoria’s Secret Model… and blah blah… looks are everything for men! And of course as I write about NFL players that ONLY care about dating supermodels and VS models, bikini girls.

Shallow men get with beautiful women for one reason: to show them off.

Shallow men cheat on beautiful women why: because they are ego maniacs.

They have low self-worth and make up for it by showing off their human commodities. All the kindness, soul and talent in the world will easily be traded for the next perky butt.

A guy who shall remain nameless told me why he cheated on his now ex-wife, who happens to be a gorgeous actress, ” I grew emotionally disconnected. I happened to meet some women and became friends with some of them. A spark grew with a few of them and it sometimes led to sex. When you cheat on someone it is not because they are more attractive than your partner, it is because they are giving you something that you want. They do not have to be better, they just have to fill a void.”

However, when it comes to “looks” and “attractiveness,” the definitions are often confusing and vague, and can depend on the era, culture, and individual.

For many people, “looks” don’t necessarily refer to someone’s physical features. Many people find physical attributes like personal style, hygiene, or posture attractive, too.

It’s also important to note that sometimes attractiveness doesn’t have anything to do with your physical attributes. Attractiveness can include many things that go beyond the physical, such as:

  • having a sense of humor
  • having shared interests with your partner
  • being kind
  • having values and principals
  • making your partner feel safe and happy
  • being attractive to others

That’s all to say, looks aren’t the only thing that can attract you to someone.

On a societal level, our definition of beauty today is different than it was 500 years ago. Most notably, in the last decade, there’s been a social media-induced phenomenon in which new standards of beauty are evolving out of the digital space.

Instagram dysmorphia a perfect example of how virtual communication has given rise to different ideals of beauty that tend to affect the nature of dating.

This is a phenomenon in which people who use social apps develop body disorder. They want to look like their online selves, even though their images online don’t reflect their true appearance and have been modified using filters and visual effects.

Scientists believe that women’s evaluation of the physical attractiveness of a mate is influenced by indications of the potential mate’s genetic quality as well as the mate’s ability to protect and invest in her and her children.

Of course, these evolved preferences are complex and interact with other factors. Individual differences, culture, and environment also play a major role in shaping what you find attractive in a potential partner. it’s important not to generalize about someone’s attractiveness preferences based on their gender.

In a relationship, personal qualities like humility and kindness may become much more important in determining the success of the relationship over time.

While looks may get potential partners to turn heads, what really holds a relationship together has much more to do with how two people connect on a deeper level. 

Looks fade. Personality is forever. 

And speaking about Direct Messaging on social media, Absolutely NO ONE has the right to take a private conversation public UNLESS there is a serious situation at hand. Trying to embarrass someone else with the words they told you, just for 15 minutes of fame, is not right either. I never reveal WHO DMs me and WHAT they say unless there’s a case for it. ( Life or death, a court case, or defamation for starters.)

Private conversations should ALWAYS stay private.
But let this be a lesson to some guys out there that if you want to flirt with other girls WHILE married, you are asking for trouble. If you aren’t happy then get divorced. The ones this stuff hurts the most are the wives and kids left behind.

Two last thoughts:

  1. There is no such as a home wrecker; it’s a myth. If someone else was able to come in and destroy your relationship it’s because your partner opened the door and let them in.
  2. Men be like, “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” but a woman is supposed to make felons, liars, and cheaters into kings.

I rest my case.

The Dirty Little Secret

Someone ACTUALLY posted this on Tiktok…. why? I don’t know.

Reasons to delete these apps! Number 1 & 3 NAILED it.

IF you click the videos and watch them on Youtube, you will see two things:

  1. Tinder IS ONLY a HOOK UP APP and people are STUPID to post about it.
    I know sometimes people like to post things for “shock value” at times, but why on Earth would you WANT people to even think that you are hooking up with a date in a hotel?
  2. IF you still think that you find your mate on these apps, sorry. You don’t. You settled.
    I said what I said. You settled for someone out of frustration, confusion, pressure to settle down or with the amount of folks you swiped on this app, which is called choice overload, you chose the wrong person.
  3. Remember, men on average hook up with 5-7 women and women hook up on average with 3-5 men on Tinder. IF you read the previous blog post, I told you EXACTLY how these apps work and how they trick you into believing you met your “soulmate” when you didn’t.
  4. The 2nd video NAILED the reasons I have been telling you WHY you should DELETE these apps and find love a different way. I am a strong believer that you can use social media, but it’s limited as to HOW to use it for this purpose. I just posted a video on my Twitter as to HOW you can get to know someone … it’s VERY simple:
    a) ask questions on line and have conversations in public first don’t just slide into DMs b) then take that relationship offline.
    c) I also noted that athletes and just regular joes should STOP asking their teammates and friends if they should “date” someone. Seriously, your teammate or friend is not going to date her… YOU are! If you feel a strong vibe towards her- ASK her OUT!


    You can read more about relationships and dating apps in my best selling book “Relationship Impossible”