Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Get Ready: A sneak peek of “Meet Me in the Penalty Box”

As you well know by following this blog and if you follow me on social, you know that I am writing a book called, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” which exposes the NHL culture to a tee. Here’s a excerpt of the book: the first two sections: All About The Victims and Exploring the Topic Of Culture

Did you know, in 2022, there were 1.37 million domestic violence crimes committed in the US. According to the CDC, in 2022, women reported intimate partner violence around 41%

These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

What does all this have to do with the NHL? (National Hockey League) 


The NHL is the ONLY major pro-sports league without a league specific policy outlining what happens to players who are accused of sexual crimes and domestic abuse. 

There have been incidents within the league that the league have stayed quiet about and have swept it under the rug, so to speak. (I then get into many different cases)

The question that everyone seems to have in regards to violence against women is where does this start to form in a man’s life?

Why does he intentionally want to hurt someone who is seen as loving and caring towards him?

And how do women play a role in being manipulated into falling into a pattern of trusting violent men with their lives? 



Dating Violence

Violence in teen relationships predicts violence in adulthood. In the United States, up to 19% of teens experience sexual or physical dating violence, about half face stalking or harassment, and as many as 65% report being psychologically abused ( Stats are from Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention)

In many cases, violence can happen when young people don’t yet have the skills to manage conflict, cope with feelings of jealousy, and navigate rejection. Many teens perceive this type of behavior as “normal” and a way to express love in intimate relationships.

The truth of the matter is this: Teen dating violence seems to be overlooked, not only in the scientific community but in society at large. It’s developmentally appropriate for young people to explore their sexuality.

But as a society we haven’t figured out how to support that while protecting them from a risk of violence. Added pressures today include social media and how sexuality is perceived.

According to 2019 data from the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, about 1 in 12 teens experience physical dating violence and about the same number face sexual dating violence. Other studies suggest rates may be higher, especially when accounting for psychological forms of abuse.

In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type.

Girls as young as age 6 have been taught for generations to accept the fact that when a boy pulls your hair, trips you, pokes you, laughs at you, or does anything else to you, this is a clue that he “likes you.”

Little girls have been conformed and trained to accept this behavior from boys as an expression of interest, which means we have been training girls that it is normal for guys to physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse us as an expression of love.

Teen boys who abuse dating partners are more than likely to have experienced child abuse or neglect. Teen boys who are abusers, are more likely to use alcohol or drugs than their nonviolent counterparts.



Teen boys who abuse their partners then to have sexist attitudes that support male domination over females.



In some cases, dating violence may be part of a pattern of antisocial or aggressive behavior.

But much of the time, teens may simply not know how to manage the emotions and conflicts that arise as they enter their first relationships.

Patterns in teen relationships are similar to adult battering relationships – they involve the same elements of control and jealousy. Teen girls and women describe the same range of violent experiences from slaps and shoves, to beatings and attacks with weapons. 

There are several youth-specific aspects to their relationships- 
Pressure to conform to peer-group norms which contributes to an emphasis on having a specific dating partner. 
Peer pressure can be so intense and the fear of being different, or of violating peer-group norms, can create rigid conformity.

Teenage boys will begin to establish such patterns when their violent dating behaviors are reinforced by members of their peer group and by society as a whole.

Their expectations of a girlfriend may include that she gives up certain activities and other relationships in order to give priority to her boyfriend. 

This is why basic chicks fit the mold/pattern for hockey players.

They find women who will conform to what the boyfriend wants and accepts their dominance in the relationship. This includes that he be sexually aggressive, make all the decisions, and he will control her activities and behavior…..

(Section 2: Exploring the Topic of Culture)

The United States also has an individualistic culture, meaning people place a high value on individuality and independence. In contrast, many other cultures are collectivist, meaning the welfare of the group and group relationships is a primary value.
Living up to a culture’s values can be difficult. It’s easy to value good health, but it’s hard to quit smoking. Marital monogamy is valued, but many spouses engage in infidelity. Cultural diversity and equal opportunities for all people are valued in the United States, yet the country’s highest political offices have been dominated by white men.
In many cultures, women are expected to be responsible for things that men are not. And, there are more pressures put on girls and women to look young and youthful no matter how old she is. Women’s full and equal participation in all facets of society is a fundamental human right. Yet, around the world, from politics to sports to the workplace, women and girls are largely underrepresented.

While the specific expectations have varied across cultures and time periods, core assumptions about women’s roles have persisted for millennia. Let’s take a brief look at how the values and beliefs women “should” follow enfolded…..

Today, this is how women see themselves:

  • Independence focused
  • Sexually liberated
  • Work focused

Today this is how men still want to see women:

  • Homemaker
  • Mother
  • Primary caregiver
  • Submits to her man
  • Adopts her man’s moral foundations

A traditional woman is a woman who follows older established principles of femininity. But today, women are pushing away from being a “traditional woman” because men today are pushing away from being, “a traditional man.”

What is a traditional man?

He is someone who adheres to conventional, often historical, gender roles and expectations. This may include traits like being a provider, protector, and head of the household, with a focus on strength, and dominance. Basically he follows established principles of masculinity.

Men before the social media era had more strength, courage, and discipline than today’s men. Men used to be better men, and more men wanted to be more like that. Today though, men rather complain about women being masculine and not feminine.

Maybe this is news to a lot of men but women take self-defense courses because we’re told we need to protect ourselves from men. Instead of men learning to be better men. The value of women is not limited to their sex appeal. Treat women the way you would treat any normal person. How you speak, walk, move your body or go about everyday life has nothing to do with masculinity, aside from other people’s preconceived ideas.

When most men think of “manliness”, they think of the fantastical archetypes we’ve been inundated with since childhood:

James Bond, Ernest Hemmingway, Captain America, and the list goes on.

They think that manliness is about hunting big game, or knowing how to fight, or sleeping with dozens of women, or driving a fast car. But these activities do not make one manly. Manliness, or as I prefer to call it “masculinity”, is about the principles by which you operate and the way that you commit yourself to various pursuits in life.
I would argue that developing your masculinity just as women develop their femininity, is based on a handful of simple principles…..

When women are assaulted, their past gets investigated.
When men assault, their future gets protected.
When women get assaulted, it’s like society treats them like a criminal first, not a victim. But men? Oh no, their futures need to be protected at all costs. The only thing that matters is making sure they get a “second chance” while she’s left fighting for her dignity. This victim-blaming crap isn’t just sick, it’s a systematic pile-on designed to keep her in the dirt while they get to walk away unscathed.

What does all this have to do with the NHL and their culture?

Well, let me start off by saying this: Culture isn’t an excuse for abuse. And abuse is silent no matter what type of abuse it is emotionally mental, physical or sexual.

And the fact that people know that it’s happening and they close the blind eye to it or they sweep it under the rug or they try to hide it as fast as they can, shows you the nature of this problem isn’t small. The NHL is very good at covering this up and that shows you that they know right from wrong but they don’t care.

And to all those guys that I see commenting on this type of thing on Instagram, Facebook and Threads is disturbing.
The main comment is that, we as women will never get rid of sexual assault. That’s that is correct statement because we’re never going to get rid of hate, we’re never going to get rid of violence 100%, but the fact that you don’t even want to think about how you can make things better for not just yourself but those around you, show that you are part of the problem, not the solution.

It’s always amazing to me. How guys are more worried about the accusations of their favorite athletes than the violence itself .
Defending them with the my favorite sayings, “she was a whore,” “She wanted it now she’s regretting it.” And my ultimate favorite, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
There’s also another one, “She consented so this didn’t happen.”

They just don’t understand what consent and not consent is and even if she consented in the beginning, a woman has a right to change her consent at any point given in time.
When a woman says no or stop or I don’t want to do this and you don’t listen to her, you are raping her. It doesn’t matter if she’s your wife, it doesn’t matter if she’s your girlfriend, it doesn’t matter if she’s your partner, it doesn’t matter if she’s a hooker from the street, it does not matter.

And that is where the problem then grows.

The hockey culture is four things, alcohol, drugs, sex and gambling.

(To Be Continued)







Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Love Sex and Magic

These guys know sensuality begets aesthetics – first thing is first. Here’s the latest fashion segment presented by the NY Rangers- kings of Fashion Ave.
Here are some observations to take note of:

  1. The tie peering out of the buttoned jacket looks chic
  2. Just wearing a regular T-shirt with a suit jacket looks SO HOT
  3. The Black men’s shirt without a tie and a grey suit is simply sexy.
  4. A cobalt blue suit with a black shirt and black tie – looks INCREDIBLY HOT
  5. The light blue suit with a light purple shirt and dark purple tie is posh and sexy.
  6. The beanie with suit just makes a guy look incredibly rebellious
  7. An open suit jacket shows a guy’s swagger ( I like this look better when it is just a regular suit)
  8. The Pinstriped suit… OH MY GOD!
  9. If you want to stand out, where a different color suit jacket. The color will make the entire outfit stand out.
  10. The Long jacket looks very businesslike

Dating segment of blog

SO if you didn’t listen to my podcast last week, here is it CLICK HERE

I will though finish this conversation this week as it has SPARKED a little controversy with what I said, of course from the men. On Tiktok some guys posted videos of telling us girls that we shouldn’t play games with trying to get you. Hey, I agree that NO ONE should play games when it comes to dating. But here is the kicker: When it’s all you guys fault! You play games and you want a girl to chase you, if you stop playing games then we’ll stop playing them too. It’s pretty much that simple.
THEN on Twitter a guy actually told me that WOMEN don’t know what it’s like to be REJECTED! Is this guy serious? Women are rejected EVERY DAMN DAY! We are rejected from making the SAME amount of money a man is doing the SAME job. A woman is rejected from getting a job that is along the lines of CEO type jobs because how can a man work for a woman? A woman is rejected when it comes to relationships as well- she’s too big, too skinny, her boobs aren’t big enough, her booty is too small, she has cellulite, she makes her own money, she doesn’t need a man anyways. Guys tell us they want us to ask them out, that they find that to be a turn on, so when we do; they reject that idea because then she’s being too aggressive, assertive, and looks desperate.
See you guys have this stupid vision of what you think the ideal woman should be like and when real, wonderful, down to earth women fall short because of whatever stupid flaw, you reject them. Completely forgetting that EVERYONE comes with their own flaws, no one is perfect, unless they are on Instagram using filters.

So, I have been pretty straightforward about the ONLY guy I want to date. Some guys are upset that literally put this out there. So let me apologize for not wanting to waste my time and energy on a guy that I have simply NO INTEREST in dating. (Insert my sassy/sarcastic face) Why am I going to want to have low-valued experiences, which I have had in the past, when I know I what I want?
If you want to know why I want a hockey player… well, watch the video. Ya know, I have said time and time again cheerleaders belong with athletes. We get them. We understand them. And we support them unlike any other girl would ever do!
1) I may not be a supermodel but at least you know I’m showing up to support you and be your personal cheerleader in every single game you play!
2) I may not be the prettiest girl, but at least you never have to explain to be what penalties are and what’s the difference between a foreword and a defenseman.
3) I may not be smart when it comes to math but at least you’ll never have to explain what a PP, offside or icing is.
4) I may not post naked like all those girls do on their IGs, but at least you’ll never have to explain what FOs, SOG, TOI, or PTS means.

And if a guy I want doesn’t want to take the chance of a lifetime for the prize I am, that’s okay. I’m sure that I will find a hockey player that does. Boom Mic Drop.

Cheap products are always in demand. That’s why only those who can afford the Lamborghini get the prize. You would think the hockey players would know the difference between cheap and expensive. But like I have said some just settle for bare minimum and basic girls, when they deserve much more.

I am sure we will continue this conversation on Friday. Oh, and this girl on Tiktok posted this video explaining what 12 inches looks like. OMG. It was so accurate. I will explain to all the men out there on Friday what exactly women want. Trust me, you don’t want to miss the podcast Friday. See you Friday!!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why chase you when I’m the catch?

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I say that with the question in mind, “How long do you give a guy whom you gave your number too, to actually use it before you say, Fuck it and move on?” It’s a known fact that most men will not call you the day after they meet you, for fear of being perceived as too eager or desperate. (Which is the SILLIEST thing a guy can do!)

Then of course women try to analyze WHY he hasn’t called and if he plans on calling, which is again, a stupid thing a woman can do. Now of course there are MANY scenarios as to why a guy won’t call. Let’s look at those:

1) When a guy doesn’t call, he might be preoccupied with work or other commitments. He might’ve not had the time or headspace to give you a call. It’s also possible that he’s too busy to focus on his personal life, especially if he’s someone who constantly gets overwhelmed with work or the schedule is too crazy for him to actually have time to call you or even text you for that matter.
2) They want to test you to see if you are going to chase them. Which if you read this blog, you know that my motto is: I don’t chase, I replace. NEVER chase a guy. First off, it’s a waste of energy and secondly it is a foolish game to play. Sometimes men think that showing emotions and expressing their interest will drive them away from the people they like. They’re trying to keep the mystery and interest alive by playing hard to get.
3) Research says phone anxiety might not be as uncommon as people think. If he’s someone who’s suffering from a social anxiety disorder, there’s a good chance that they feel very uncomfortable when calling you.  He is already insecure about himself and thinks you are freaking perfect, ( which NO ONE is, especially me, and he stupidly thinks he doesn’t deserve you!)
4) Men are NOT good with emotions. Period. They struggle with showing people how they feel and expressing themselves clearly so sometimes a guy doesn’t call or text a girl who shows him interest especially because HE IS interested in her as well.
5)He’s not into you. Yes, there is a serious possibility that is just isn’t into you and he is NEVER going to reach out. So, should you put all your eggs into one basket or move on to someone else?

You know how the story goes, you move on and have options, and he sees you with his friend, or someone he knows or even a complete stranger that is not him, and he panics and will text you. This then leads you to make a decision as to which guy you are going to choose. Which if you ask me is not a bad thing. I would continue to date the guy that you are entertaining while planning to then go out and meet for drinks with the guy whom you gave your number too. Let him point blank know that you are not exclusive but that you want to be exclusive and see what happens.


BUT- here is a tip for the guys. …

Men underestimate a silent female. If she is quiet and no longer interested in what you’re doing and she’s paying attention to another guy… she mostly is finished with you… and if you want her you are going to have to show it to her since he fumbled the bag and didn’t call you nor text you and it’s been OVER a month. Then by all means, let him walk. If he decides to mess it all up & lose the BEST thing to ever enter his life…that’s on him not you.

Also, on a different note, here is a men fact for the ladies to know: If a guy is criticizing another woman: Her looks, how she dresses, how she talks etc… He’s ATTRACTED to her. Period. You’re welcome.

Always know that you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the prize and 1 lucky guy is going to be thanking the guy that didn’t want to show interest in you and took a risk and dated you. That new guy is going to be so happy that you also were smart enough to know that you have options.

You can HAVE any guy your heart’s desire…. don’t settle on the one that is still unsure.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Do You Know What It Takes?

Recently, someone asked me, ” What is the bare minimum in a relationship?”

That question is loaded one simply because most people don’t quite understand that your standards need to be higher than the bare minimum, which you should be getting anyway.
They put in minimum investment in the relationship, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. Bare minimum-ing someone means exactly what it says: you’re only giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The bare minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. My advice to everyone is to never settle your standards and stoop low for someone ONLY giving you the bare minimum. Here are some examples of someone only doing the bare minimum:

1) A person who respects your boundaries
2) A person who doesn’t demand to know all your passwords or snoop through your phone
3)Someone who likes cuddling or talking when you’re together than scrolling through their phone
4) Someone who gives compliments without being asked
5) A person who remembers your birthday or at least keeps it listed where they can be reminded
6) A person who always finds time to be with you
7)A person who says sorry when they are wrong
8)Giving compliments is not doing a lot. But Giving One Without being told to do that is what they should be doing.

Those are prime examples of the bare minimum that everyone in a relationship should be doing. But IF they also if They Only make an effort to keep you around, and your relationship never grows, that is also a cause for alarm. Why? Because they are only doing the bare minimum and it’s mostly like They act like a roommate with whom you have sex with. They don’t make any effort for romance or adventure at all.

People tend to think that expectations are standards and those two things are totally different. For example, I expect to be treated with respect is not a standard but an expectation. I expect him to be loyal, caring, compassionate, loving, honest, etc. again, Those are not standards. Expectations are the ideas we have about how we want certain situations to turn out or some people to be. Standards, however, are a level of quality that we set for ourselves that serve as a basis for good judgment.

I never tell guys what exactly i am looking for because if I tend to tell them what my standards are, then they tend to do them with no intention of staying with me and only finding a loophole to use me in some way. This way they have to put in the work for the entire relationship not knowing what exactly my standards are until we take the relationship to the next level. if we break up then that means they didn’t live up to my standards, seriously.

i know what i bring to the table and what I bring is rare. i am ultra supportive. i am ultra kind, caring and compassionate. i am smart, sexy, passionate, adventurous, creative, and a go-getter. i don’t have time for guys who don’t see that in me and who don’t want me to be an even better version of who I am.
I also want to make a guy want to be a better version of himself. I want a guy who is going to want build something together as a team, not someone who is just out for the ride.
So, do you think you have what it takes?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

So, You Want To Date An Athlete, Huh?

Who can deny the attraction to dating an athlete: someone who by their nature is disciplined, focused, and recognizes the value of working as a team toward a shared goal? But While dating an athlete has some “perks” it comes with cons as well, especially for chicks that can’t handle it nor understand the sport they play in the first place.

  1. They May Seem Single-Focused
    It’s only natural for an athlete to want to focus on the season and focus on winning a championship. And if you date an athlete, you need to be able to understand that he is not ignoring you or that you won’t be his number one priority. Instead you will have to accept the fact that when he is playing, that’s his job and his main focus is and should be his team. He may not be able to go to that function, or he may miss your birthday, but trust me he will make up for it when it’s the off season.
  2. Traveling
    He may have be away at a week a time, depending on the sport he plays. You may have to deal with taking care of the house, bills, kids, etc all on your own at times. IF you can’t handle this aspect, then dating an athlete is not for you at all. Independent women can handle dating an athlete simply because we already handle running the show at work and at home, and fit the role quite nicely.
  3. Center of Attention
    Whether you hate being the center of attention of love it, dating an athlete, especially one that plays in NY or is a top athlete, always has eyes of them. That means that eyes will be on you. If you can’t stand people watching you, watching what you post on social media, and are a very private person, then dating an athlete is not for you.
  4. They need Support
    Obviously from my standpoint, I am a cheerleading coach ( former cheerleader) so I understand things from a different point of view that a basic fan. Also, I give 100% support and I also have knowledge of the sport, so that is another reason why I can date an athlete. If you can’t grasp the concept that your man needs your support and that you need to root for him and his team to win, plus understand the sport he plays, then dating an athlete isn’t for you. Oh, also be prepared to actually go to as many games as you can to support them as well. Remember, we make time for what and who is important to us.
  5. Fitness Fun
    Athletes need to be in top shape all year round, not just in the season that they play/perform. Being a coach I understand this so they get to have a fitness partner in me. If you hate working out and aren’t in the best shape, then maybe you shouldn’t date an athlete.

    When dating an athlete you need to remember that it’s not just about you. You can’t get all upset because your man is focused on trying to remember the playbook, or he’s watching film, or a game, etc. You can’t be upset that he’s only had a meal with you a few times this week. You need to understand that when your man loses and/or he gets hurt he is not going to be in the best mood and he is going to need even more of your love and support at those times.
    So many times I see women on social media complaining about this type of stuff instead of taking the focus off how it “effects them” and putting it in the proper place. But also to the athlete he needs to remember that she deserves to be with a man who doesn’t make her look stupid being loyal. We’ve seen that also played out before as well.

    So finally, when I date an athlete I always tell him this:
    I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.