Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why chase you when I’m the catch?

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I say that with the question in mind, “How long do you give a guy whom you gave your number too, to actually use it before you say, Fuck it and move on?” It’s a known fact that most men will not call you the day after they meet you, for fear of being perceived as too eager or desperate. (Which is the SILLIEST thing a guy can do!)

Then of course women try to analyze WHY he hasn’t called and if he plans on calling, which is again, a stupid thing a woman can do. Now of course there are MANY scenarios as to why a guy won’t call. Let’s look at those:

1) When a guy doesn’t call, he might be preoccupied with work or other commitments. He might’ve not had the time or headspace to give you a call. It’s also possible that he’s too busy to focus on his personal life, especially if he’s someone who constantly gets overwhelmed with work or the schedule is too crazy for him to actually have time to call you or even text you for that matter.
2) They want to test you to see if you are going to chase them. Which if you read this blog, you know that my motto is: I don’t chase, I replace. NEVER chase a guy. First off, it’s a waste of energy and secondly it is a foolish game to play. Sometimes men think that showing emotions and expressing their interest will drive them away from the people they like. They’re trying to keep the mystery and interest alive by playing hard to get.
3) Research says phone anxiety might not be as uncommon as people think. If he’s someone who’s suffering from a social anxiety disorder, there’s a good chance that they feel very uncomfortable when calling you.  He is already insecure about himself and thinks you are freaking perfect, ( which NO ONE is, especially me, and he stupidly thinks he doesn’t deserve you!)
4) Men are NOT good with emotions. Period. They struggle with showing people how they feel and expressing themselves clearly so sometimes a guy doesn’t call or text a girl who shows him interest especially because HE IS interested in her as well.
5)He’s not into you. Yes, there is a serious possibility that is just isn’t into you and he is NEVER going to reach out. So, should you put all your eggs into one basket or move on to someone else?

You know how the story goes, you move on and have options, and he sees you with his friend, or someone he knows or even a complete stranger that is not him, and he panics and will text you. This then leads you to make a decision as to which guy you are going to choose. Which if you ask me is not a bad thing. I would continue to date the guy that you are entertaining while planning to then go out and meet for drinks with the guy whom you gave your number too. Let him point blank know that you are not exclusive but that you want to be exclusive and see what happens.


BUT- here is a tip for the guys. …

Men underestimate a silent female. If she is quiet and no longer interested in what you’re doing and she’s paying attention to another guy… she mostly is finished with you… and if you want her you are going to have to show it to her since he fumbled the bag and didn’t call you nor text you and it’s been OVER a month. Then by all means, let him walk. If he decides to mess it all up & lose the BEST thing to ever enter his life…that’s on him not you.

Also, on a different note, here is a men fact for the ladies to know: If a guy is criticizing another woman: Her looks, how she dresses, how she talks etc… He’s ATTRACTED to her. Period. You’re welcome.

Always know that you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the prize and 1 lucky guy is going to be thanking the guy that didn’t want to show interest in you and took a risk and dated you. That new guy is going to be so happy that you also were smart enough to know that you have options.

You can HAVE any guy your heart’s desire…. don’t settle on the one that is still unsure.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Do You Know What It Takes?

Recently, someone asked me, ” What is the bare minimum in a relationship?”

That question is loaded one simply because most people don’t quite understand that your standards need to be higher than the bare minimum, which you should be getting anyway.
They put in minimum investment in the relationship, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. Bare minimum-ing someone means exactly what it says: you’re only giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The bare minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. My advice to everyone is to never settle your standards and stoop low for someone ONLY giving you the bare minimum. Here are some examples of someone only doing the bare minimum:

1) A person who respects your boundaries
2) A person who doesn’t demand to know all your passwords or snoop through your phone
3)Someone who likes cuddling or talking when you’re together than scrolling through their phone
4) Someone who gives compliments without being asked
5) A person who remembers your birthday or at least keeps it listed where they can be reminded
6) A person who always finds time to be with you
7)A person who says sorry when they are wrong
8)Giving compliments is not doing a lot. But Giving One Without being told to do that is what they should be doing.

Those are prime examples of the bare minimum that everyone in a relationship should be doing. But IF they also if They Only make an effort to keep you around, and your relationship never grows, that is also a cause for alarm. Why? Because they are only doing the bare minimum and it’s mostly like They act like a roommate with whom you have sex with. They don’t make any effort for romance or adventure at all.

People tend to think that expectations are standards and those two things are totally different. For example, I expect to be treated with respect is not a standard but an expectation. I expect him to be loyal, caring, compassionate, loving, honest, etc. again, Those are not standards. Expectations are the ideas we have about how we want certain situations to turn out or some people to be. Standards, however, are a level of quality that we set for ourselves that serve as a basis for good judgment.

I never tell guys what exactly i am looking for because if I tend to tell them what my standards are, then they tend to do them with no intention of staying with me and only finding a loophole to use me in some way. This way they have to put in the work for the entire relationship not knowing what exactly my standards are until we take the relationship to the next level. if we break up then that means they didn’t live up to my standards, seriously.

i know what i bring to the table and what I bring is rare. i am ultra supportive. i am ultra kind, caring and compassionate. i am smart, sexy, passionate, adventurous, creative, and a go-getter. i don’t have time for guys who don’t see that in me and who don’t want me to be an even better version of who I am.
I also want to make a guy want to be a better version of himself. I want a guy who is going to want build something together as a team, not someone who is just out for the ride.
So, do you think you have what it takes?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

So, You Want To Date An Athlete, Huh?

Who can deny the attraction to dating an athlete: someone who by their nature is disciplined, focused, and recognizes the value of working as a team toward a shared goal? But While dating an athlete has some “perks” it comes with cons as well, especially for chicks that can’t handle it nor understand the sport they play in the first place.

  1. They May Seem Single-Focused
    It’s only natural for an athlete to want to focus on the season and focus on winning a championship. And if you date an athlete, you need to be able to understand that he is not ignoring you or that you won’t be his number one priority. Instead you will have to accept the fact that when he is playing, that’s his job and his main focus is and should be his team. He may not be able to go to that function, or he may miss your birthday, but trust me he will make up for it when it’s the off season.
  2. Traveling
    He may have be away at a week a time, depending on the sport he plays. You may have to deal with taking care of the house, bills, kids, etc all on your own at times. IF you can’t handle this aspect, then dating an athlete is not for you at all. Independent women can handle dating an athlete simply because we already handle running the show at work and at home, and fit the role quite nicely.
  3. Center of Attention
    Whether you hate being the center of attention of love it, dating an athlete, especially one that plays in NY or is a top athlete, always has eyes of them. That means that eyes will be on you. If you can’t stand people watching you, watching what you post on social media, and are a very private person, then dating an athlete is not for you.
  4. They need Support
    Obviously from my standpoint, I am a cheerleading coach ( former cheerleader) so I understand things from a different point of view that a basic fan. Also, I give 100% support and I also have knowledge of the sport, so that is another reason why I can date an athlete. If you can’t grasp the concept that your man needs your support and that you need to root for him and his team to win, plus understand the sport he plays, then dating an athlete isn’t for you. Oh, also be prepared to actually go to as many games as you can to support them as well. Remember, we make time for what and who is important to us.
  5. Fitness Fun
    Athletes need to be in top shape all year round, not just in the season that they play/perform. Being a coach I understand this so they get to have a fitness partner in me. If you hate working out and aren’t in the best shape, then maybe you shouldn’t date an athlete.

    When dating an athlete you need to remember that it’s not just about you. You can’t get all upset because your man is focused on trying to remember the playbook, or he’s watching film, or a game, etc. You can’t be upset that he’s only had a meal with you a few times this week. You need to understand that when your man loses and/or he gets hurt he is not going to be in the best mood and he is going to need even more of your love and support at those times.
    So many times I see women on social media complaining about this type of stuff instead of taking the focus off how it “effects them” and putting it in the proper place. But also to the athlete he needs to remember that she deserves to be with a man who doesn’t make her look stupid being loyal. We’ve seen that also played out before as well.

    So finally, when I date an athlete I always tell him this:
    I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.