This is the part when I say I don’t wanna…

For the last 3 months or so, guys have been brave and sliding into my DMs … but of course… either looking desperate, trying pick up lines, or showing their jealously as to the “age range” that I have made clear as to whom I will date. The video below pretty much speaks for itself… then let me continue…

I had no idea that so many guys over the age of 35 would be attacking me over my choice to date younger guys… and oh, hockey players. When I mentioned this it’s like all these guys older than 35 came out of the wood-works and had to ask me directly … and then some of them even were brave enough to shot their shot ( that I will give credit too!)
Now, I don’t have to validate my reasons for what I want and I don’t have to ask permission either. But what I will do is spell it out as clearly as I can.
1) Yes, I date guys who are 23-32 BUT I have dated guys that are 21 and 22… there are always exceptions to what I feel I want to do but with that said, don’t get your hopes up if you’re older than 35…(or 34) that rule of mine is staying put.

2) Cheerleaders belong with athletes. Period. We go together like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, bread and butter… hello?! Yes, I know all about the stereotypical ideas put out there into the world about cheerleaders: ( They are dumb, they sleep around, they lack talent, blah blah blah) so trust me when folks hear that I used to be one and still in the industry men think they can easily “land me” but that’s not true at all. If anything, I am hard to “land” since I have high standards and will not go against those. I will gladly give an athlete a chance, but if he only thinks I deserve bare minimum, he’s got another thing coming! Yes, I don’t need to be nor want to be their 1st priority. Their 1st priority should be to their career/ team, but seriously there needs to be a BALANCE .
So trust me right now when I say, that if I like you, take that seriously as a compliment. I don’t need anyone to complete me, I WANT someone in my life to grow and build with… that’s the difference.

When guys say to me in DMs that the “only” reason I want to be a hockey player is because of how they “look physically” I giggle and roll my eyes. I don’t give a shit about a man’s hairline, if he has 6-pack abs, buns of steel, muscles, etc. .. that to me is a bonus, not a reason to want to date anyone. The mindset, attitude , character and personality of a hockey player is the main reason why I am attracted to them. Being that I am an ex-athlete and a current coach, I have the exact same mindset as they do… plus I understand the demands of their job, support them 125% and am as loyal as fuck (I have people who back me up on that BTW)


I have you all know that I ALWAYS NEVER dated: doctors, male nurses, lawyers, cops, firefighters, or guys in the military. Why? Well, doctors/nurses/lawyers hours are NUTS. They are NEVER around when you need them. Their jobs are demanding and oh, forget about kids… if I had kids with a guy who did one of those things for a living I would NEVER see him- neither would the kid. Vice Versa if a guy marries a female who does those things… a nanny mostly would be raising those kids! As for Cops, Firefighters and military dudes…their jobs are just way too dangerous and I would be a wreck worrying about them – that is not something I want to do.


Now, going back to the hockey player point being, as too what I am talking about in regards to personality, attitude and character;
look at this story on a hockey player and what he did for a fan: Click here to read the story
But to phrase this tweet: A couple weeks ago after a Columbus Blue Jackets victory, a guy witnessed a young girl bawling her eyes out while talking to a mutual friend in the concourse. He asked her what was wrong. She explained she was near glass waiting to get Korpi’s autographed stick. After he was announced as the first star, Korpi took a victory lap and pointed right at her, tossed the souvenir stick up over the glass. It landed in this little girl’s hands for a split second until someone behind her snatched it from her grip. She was inconsolable…. you can guess what the rest of the story is, right? This hockey player made it right. You hardly see that with other athletes unless it’s being recorded for their social media to show that “they care” This was NOT recorded. This happened and a guy told everyone on Twitter what an awesome dude Korpi was!

3) As asked in my DMs: “So, you’re just going to say no to other dudes who aren’t hockey players? Aren’t your standards to high?” My answer in a tweet: “You’re standards are too high” Well those standards protect me from low quality experiences. So I’m not afraid to say no! See, I know what I bring to the table. I am the prize. I am a rare breed. This is just another reason why folks should get off those dating apps… if you see what options are left, then you would understand NOT to settle just to settle. And remember what I have said previously, men marry the woman in front of them not necessarily the woman they are meant to be with because they settled when they should have said no. Here is that blog post

4) It’s always the most laid-back women made out to look complicated and crazy by a men who didn’t even try providing her with the basics of what she deserves. See, I don’t settle for bare minimum and NO ONE should settle for that- ever! I ALWAYS tell folks that if you think I am too much, go find less. ( BTW that is what you will find on a dating app)
Date someone who’s interested in you. And I don’t mean someone who finds you funny & cute. I mean someone who genuinely wants to get to know you. Find the person who wants to get to know every aspect of who you are because that is a keeper.

5) “So, you only want to then date guys from your favorite team, right?” Another fabulous DM I received the other day! And to answer it:
Well, maybe. The guys who shoot their shot GET a shot! And who’s to say that guys from other hockey teams are not in my DMs now? Um, hello! I don’t tweet out or post out WHO I am talking too… EVER. That’s a major rule of mine. Trustworthiness is something I take seriously and I don’t screenshot conversations either.
Like I said previously, it doesn’t matter how much I like a guy, if he ain’t up to task of at least getting to know me, I don’t chase, I replace.

6) “So, why young guys and not guys that are older?” Simply put: young guys want to grow, they want to build something, they want adventures and they are not afraid to leave their comfort zone as are older guys. Older men LIVE in their comfort zone. Older men try to “tame” me where younger guys enjoy my carefree spirit and the way I carry myself. I never have been with a younger guy (athletes) who cared so much about how smart I was, especially as a blonde, cared about me having my own company, or cared about how spontaneous I am at times. Older guys… ha!

7) Closing, if you follow me on Twitter you know that I love having conversation and my vibe I bring is very magnetic. (Hey, all these years doing cheerleading and dance brought that out in me.) I am ALWAYS open to meeting new people, no matter anyone’s age, and if you’re a guy and know that there is no chance in hell of ever dating me, but you enjoy having conversation on numerous topics, hit me up. I make a great platonic friend in that , I will always have your back. If anyone ever feels that they need someone to listen to them or needs advice, my DMs are always open.
I want to be the light for someone who feels that they don’t have that. Life is better when you are caring, compassionate and kind.

And you don’t need to date me in order for me to do that.


Romantic Gestures: Men Get a Pass, Women Get Labeled.

When men attempt bold gestures it’s considered romantic and sweet. When a woman attempts them, it’s considered desperate and crazy. Watch any romantic movie and they will tell you the same old, boring, story: If you want to win the love of your life, an over-the-top romantic gesture is the way to go. But hold on, wait a minute, those bold gestures are for the man to do, not a woman.

When Maroon 5 sings, “Baby, I’m preying on you tonight/Maybe you think that you can hide/I can smell your scent for miles,” hardly anyone flinches at the creepy craziness of these lyrics. But when Taylor Swift writes a song, people accuse her of being spiteful, vengeful, and retreating to her crazy woman-den to write mean songs about men.

The vast majority of women may be totally “normal” in a relationship. But then you see one woman acting jealous, insecure, or worse, going after a guy they want and you think, “See!? Women are crazy!” See, when a woman does something “crazy,” like show a man a bold gesture, it’s because she is crazy. When a man does the exact same thing, it’s because men are romantic and strong.

The reasons are simple though: Women feel more emotions than men — it’s that they’re more likely to talk about it, therefore when men actually show emotions, it’s them as weak. But when they show a romantic gesture, it shows them as the hunters, the strong vital man who hunts down his prey in order to salvage his manhood. Back in the day the romantic gestures were; opening the door for her, giving her flowers, taking her out on romantic dinner, giving her kiss on her forehead, basically be a gentlemen. Today that chivalry is nonexistent. It’s all about how far you can get with a woman today. Guys today don’t realize just how much we women want the old fashioned chivalry to make a comeback.

Men don’t like women to be initiators. At least the majority doesn’t even though you see men do Tiktoks where they “claim” that they enjoy being pursued. Now, it is important for me to add, that there are men who don’t mind if a woman asks him out, but that percentage is about 15%. The other 85% still want to be the hunter, “so to speak.”

So to the other 85% of men who assume that when a woman asks you out or presents you wilth a bold gestures let me tell you a few things: 1- yes she is bold and forward to ask you because SHE LIKES YOU! 2- NO, she is not pushy, demanding or controlling. 3- This idea that cannot be her protector because she is the one who asked you out is absurd! EVERY woman wants to be loved and feel protected no matter if you ask her or she asks you! 4- She will not make you submit to her will! Please! Now, if you date a woman who knows what she wants, doesn’t that make it easier for you? and finally 5, She will value my achievements and your dreams. Just because she approached you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t value what you bring to the table or what your goals in life are- that idea is so ridiculous!

If a woman asks you out, that is a compliment to you. She sees something in you that she wants, and she wants to get to know you. Embrace it, enjoy it and stop with the gender double standards. Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. It shouldn’t matter at the end of the day, who asked who out, but the relationship that the two of you share.

Don’t F*ck It Up!

If you are an avid football fan like myself, you loved watching the games this weekend. There was competition, drama, and your blood pressure probably was raised to the point where you literally screamed at the TV set. All that aside, it’s interesting to see how the girlfriends/wives of these football players react on social media, if they do at all.
It’s also interesting to note that NFL players and social sometimes don’t mix – and the excuses as to why they keep who they are with “private” is a catch 22.
For those players who are married, it’s obvious they don’t like it when fans go after their wives on Twitter or Instagram, and any fan that does that is a dickhead. But what got me thinking this weekend in terms of this, is when their guy (boyfriend or wife) is struggling on the field, seeing her stick up for him on social media proves 2 things 1) her loyalty to the man she is dating/married too, and 2) her love for him goes beyond the football field.

Think about it, Patrick Mahomes fiancee, gets criticized left and right for the way she defends her man and for what she posts. Does that stop her? Hell no! (And it never should stop her! She’s awesome!) You have Matthew Stafford’s wife Kelly, always supporting her husband, on social media, then there is other girlfriends/wives that do the same.
Joey Burrow’s girlfriend is somewhat supportive on Instagram but not as supportive as I thought she would be. I mean, some girls take it to the extreme like Christian McCaffrey’s girlfriend does posting stupid selfies of herself for attention as does Dak Prescott’s girlfriend. Seriously, you have to wonder if that is the ONLY reason they are dating these guys? For the attention.

This makes me think of guys who are dating someone but have yet to post anything on social media. As I have said in the past, a player that is dating someone should not be using the excuse, “My private life is private” or, ” I keep close to my circle only” as an excuse why they don’t post about their girlfriends. IF an NFL player is not posting about his girlfriend or wife and only hiding you in their stories, that only means that he is trying to make it look as if he is single so they hoes can slide into his DMs.

REAL relationships aren’t a secret. And your partner should be PROUD that they are with you! That goes for HER as well- especially when he is struggling on the field and the fan base is attacking him left and right. Keeping hush-hush on social media and worse, having a private IG account only makes me question the relationship. I mean, if I were dating an NFL player and my guy was struggling, or the fan base was attacking him on social media, you bet your ass I would defend him and his ability and talent he has to be an NFL player. I would be so proud of him no matter what! If I was dating an athlete, I want to be his second priority. I want his first priority to be him, his ambitions, his life and his future, because seeing him happy makes me happy. Seeing him succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together. There’s a difference between being secretive and keeping your dirty laundry off social media.

Then there are girls who post things to Tiktok, like, ” An NBA player slid into my DMS and now I am sitting courtside… ” Girls always bragging about being the main chick. Try being the only chick. Stop letting guys (players) use you and disrespect you. The funny thing with this post was all the comments telling her she ain’t the only one. Girls allow this to happen, time and time again. Girls wanting to a be side chick, like an appetizer, Instead of respecting themselves as the main course.

They sliding in but only those who play for keeps get me. I ain’t no man’s side course. I am THE chick. Maybe that’s because I am older so I am wiser than these girls in their 20s who act foolish. And A LOT of athletes especially those who are young don’t understand that having many women isn’t a flex, but having that 1 woman no one can touch is. But many boys don’t understand the difference between quality and quantity.

So, there are a few NFL players who anonymously answered my questions about dating and women. Here are a few of those answers. The rest will be part of my exclusive podcast “Relationship Impossible” part 2 – coming in February.

Player 1: If you take pride in your clothes and your looks you are going to take care of me. Just my thoughts.

Player 2: I am sick of gold diggers, I have a Victorian style house and several sports cars, but I attract women for some reason who only lavish in that lifestyle. I am not looking to spend all my money on bottles of champagne and the new products that hit the market.

Player3: Look around the league, many players get caught up in drama and it eventually leads to an arrest, or problem. I just want a normal relationship where we value one another. (Note, This is the SAME guy that then says he wants to date a girl because she’s “hot” or “more famous” than he is. If you want a “normal” relationship, how about you guys get off the dating apps and just date a normal girl? – Ya know, those girls who work hard, play hard, and are loyal as fuck?)

In closing let me mention the players that scrub clean their IG’s – Every time they have a new team, or drop a new stupid song, or are trying to “rebrand” themselves- my question is, why? Scrubing clean your IG isn’t going to scrub away the fact that you played for a different team, that your fashion was questionable, that you look like you only care about materialistic things, etc. Scrubbing it clean makes you look insecure and ashamed of your past. What about the players that scrub clean an ex? This here, is different. TO be able to fully move on from an ex you need to mentally, physically, emotionally move on from someone. Getting rid of posts of you together, is allowing all the negative out and letting you manifest the positive into your life. But oh, don’t be stupid and follow your ex on Instagram though… if you really want to move on, move on completely. They don’t need to see your IG stories, and you don’t need to see theirs either.

Relationships are hard. Stop making them harder.

Relationship Impossible is available here – CLICK to purchase

and while you read it, you can sip my coffee – CLICK to purchase ( right as I type this the website is having difficulty, but you can follow me on Instagram!)