Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why chase you when I’m the catch?

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I say that with the question in mind, “How long do you give a guy whom you gave your number too, to actually use it before you say, Fuck it and move on?” It’s a known fact that most men will not call you the day after they meet you, for fear of being perceived as too eager or desperate. (Which is the SILLIEST thing a guy can do!)

Then of course women try to analyze WHY he hasn’t called and if he plans on calling, which is again, a stupid thing a woman can do. Now of course there are MANY scenarios as to why a guy won’t call. Let’s look at those:

1) When a guy doesn’t call, he might be preoccupied with work or other commitments. He might’ve not had the time or headspace to give you a call. It’s also possible that he’s too busy to focus on his personal life, especially if he’s someone who constantly gets overwhelmed with work or the schedule is too crazy for him to actually have time to call you or even text you for that matter.
2) They want to test you to see if you are going to chase them. Which if you read this blog, you know that my motto is: I don’t chase, I replace. NEVER chase a guy. First off, it’s a waste of energy and secondly it is a foolish game to play. Sometimes men think that showing emotions and expressing their interest will drive them away from the people they like. They’re trying to keep the mystery and interest alive by playing hard to get.
3) Research says phone anxiety might not be as uncommon as people think. If he’s someone who’s suffering from a social anxiety disorder, there’s a good chance that they feel very uncomfortable when calling you.  He is already insecure about himself and thinks you are freaking perfect, ( which NO ONE is, especially me, and he stupidly thinks he doesn’t deserve you!)
4) Men are NOT good with emotions. Period. They struggle with showing people how they feel and expressing themselves clearly so sometimes a guy doesn’t call or text a girl who shows him interest especially because HE IS interested in her as well.
5)He’s not into you. Yes, there is a serious possibility that is just isn’t into you and he is NEVER going to reach out. So, should you put all your eggs into one basket or move on to someone else?

You know how the story goes, you move on and have options, and he sees you with his friend, or someone he knows or even a complete stranger that is not him, and he panics and will text you. This then leads you to make a decision as to which guy you are going to choose. Which if you ask me is not a bad thing. I would continue to date the guy that you are entertaining while planning to then go out and meet for drinks with the guy whom you gave your number too. Let him point blank know that you are not exclusive but that you want to be exclusive and see what happens.


BUT- here is a tip for the guys. …

Men underestimate a silent female. If she is quiet and no longer interested in what you’re doing and she’s paying attention to another guy… she mostly is finished with you… and if you want her you are going to have to show it to her since he fumbled the bag and didn’t call you nor text you and it’s been OVER a month. Then by all means, let him walk. If he decides to mess it all up & lose the BEST thing to ever enter his life…that’s on him not you.

Also, on a different note, here is a men fact for the ladies to know: If a guy is criticizing another woman: Her looks, how she dresses, how she talks etc… He’s ATTRACTED to her. Period. You’re welcome.

Always know that you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the prize and 1 lucky guy is going to be thanking the guy that didn’t want to show interest in you and took a risk and dated you. That new guy is going to be so happy that you also were smart enough to know that you have options.

You can HAVE any guy your heart’s desire…. don’t settle on the one that is still unsure.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

I’m the sexiest ex- you can never get back

Now that the fake holiday called “Valentine’s Day” has come and gone… here’s a little observation on it that is two-fold. 1) From someone who knows dating and 2) From someone who knows social media.

Let’s talk about athletes and social media, once again and add in Valentine’s Day.
If you read this blog religiously, and seriously you should be! (#Sarcasm) You know how I have mentioned time and time again about how athletes misuse use IG and social in general; especially when they are married and/or dating. So, if you are new to this blog I will mention it again. (But this is okay to repeat.)

When an athlete is seriously in love with a woman, and I mean seriously, he will POST her NOT just STORY her. He is tagging you in photos or posts because he wants to SHOW you off and is PROUD that you are his woman. He wants people to know that you’re his and he’s yours. There are no other females that he is entertaining nor want to entertain. If he ONLY putting you in a STORY, then he is protecting his options and he wants to LOOK single and not taken. And don’t fall for that, “I’m not big into social media,” or, “I like to keep my life private.” Those lines are just covers to keep his options open.

The thing though that these athletes forget is that if a woman really, really, really wants him, she is already know his entire history in like 6 minutes. So, when you aren’t posting the girl you are with that leaves A LOT of questions.

Throw in Valentine’s day to the mix.

I can’t even BEGIN to tell you just HOW many athletes from the NFL, NHL, NBA and MLB did NOT post up about their significant others. There were some that threw a story together… cool… but it was not posted. So I start to question about their relationships. Some even put their kids into the story as well and then, there were also some girlfriends from a specific NHL team that had a party and they had Miley Cyrus’s song, “Flowers” in the picture. Um, what? Why on Earth are you telling everyone that you can buy your own flowers when aren’t you still taken by an athlete that plays in the NHL? That was very, very strange.
Another quick observation was that 1 particular player I guess sent his girl jewelry and a love note and she took a photo of it next to a very strange photo of them in bed. Um… why?
So I guess all these girls and athletes want the world to think they are available and that they have options. And speaking of options…

When I really like a guy. I mean, really like him and I tell him that we should go out, give him my number, spoil him, etc and the guy just sits there and is undecided about being with me or not, I hate to break it to him but I’m not required to sit around and wait for him to decide if he is ready to date me, wants to date me or even just wants to be friends.
This girl has options.
So if another guy comes at me with this tool belt ready to work, don’t be surprised when your position is filled and you lose out on the best thing that could have happened to you. I’ll love on no matter how deep my feelings are for someone. And I may move on with someone you know.. (now, that’s the sassy bitch that I am at times, not all the time. Gotta remember I know how to play the game, and I play it better than most.)
And while we are on this subject… why do guys wait until they are ready? I hate to break to ya, but you’re never going to be fully ready and life is so damn short, why the hell wait and watch some other dude with the girl that you really like and who really likes you. That is so stupid!

PODCAST

If I’m gonna be a mess, I might just be a hot mess. I think that is the title of the latest podcast. You can listen HERE – I talk about the above as well as the latest spicy shit going on in the NY Rangers world, Twitter world, Dating world… with a couple juicy details and stories.

FASHION

The NY Rangers ARE Fashion Avenue! They all really can pull off ANY style.
Here are some fashion tips for men:
1) Always pick a different color tie to let your suit stand out. The tie almost ALWAYS brings the entire suit together.
2) If you are going to wear one color, Blue is a great color to wear simply because there are many shades of it and you can mix and match your suit, the shirt and tie with different combos.
3) Wearing the Beanie and Suit is just fire!
And while we are talking NY Rangers and Fashion can I just note that Jacob Trouba looking so freaking hot with the rough on his face? I mean seriously, he looks incredible! Also Ryan Lindgren is growing his facial hair again- anything that man does it ridiculously awesome! Panarin is even growing facial hair! So I guess there is a “contest” happening over which dude on the team is going to look the best with a little rough on their face. I have also said this: having a little rough on a man’s face, gives him a edge. It is so sexy and it is a complete turn on.

Do that with what you will.

Last podcast I showed a little clip of this… and people asked to see it. So here ya go.
Jacob… you have moves!!! And that is compliment coming from a cheer coach/choreographer! I love this!! Seeing this makes Jacob not just seen as a star hockey player, but as a person. Which most seem to forget that he is a person, not a robot playing a sport.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow, let the jokes rip. Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? Seriously?

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Dan: When I meet a woman over 30, she’s usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don’t have time for that drama—that’s why I like mature women.

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

I should add though, older women are likely to have a stable career and be financially secure. So, when she chooses a partner, it tends not to be about wealth. She tends to be with someone she WANTS not someone she NEEDS and that is the one thing that separates the girls from the women. Women who are independent do just fine without a man, so if they want you, you must be pretty damn special to her! And being with someone who admires her, supports her and is 100% intrigued about her is exactly why it never seems to work out with older guys.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Do You Know What It Takes?

Recently, someone asked me, ” What is the bare minimum in a relationship?”

That question is loaded one simply because most people don’t quite understand that your standards need to be higher than the bare minimum, which you should be getting anyway.
They put in minimum investment in the relationship, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. Bare minimum-ing someone means exactly what it says: you’re only giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The bare minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. My advice to everyone is to never settle your standards and stoop low for someone ONLY giving you the bare minimum. Here are some examples of someone only doing the bare minimum:

1) A person who respects your boundaries
2) A person who doesn’t demand to know all your passwords or snoop through your phone
3)Someone who likes cuddling or talking when you’re together than scrolling through their phone
4) Someone who gives compliments without being asked
5) A person who remembers your birthday or at least keeps it listed where they can be reminded
6) A person who always finds time to be with you
7)A person who says sorry when they are wrong
8)Giving compliments is not doing a lot. But Giving One Without being told to do that is what they should be doing.

Those are prime examples of the bare minimum that everyone in a relationship should be doing. But IF they also if They Only make an effort to keep you around, and your relationship never grows, that is also a cause for alarm. Why? Because they are only doing the bare minimum and it’s mostly like They act like a roommate with whom you have sex with. They don’t make any effort for romance or adventure at all.

People tend to think that expectations are standards and those two things are totally different. For example, I expect to be treated with respect is not a standard but an expectation. I expect him to be loyal, caring, compassionate, loving, honest, etc. again, Those are not standards. Expectations are the ideas we have about how we want certain situations to turn out or some people to be. Standards, however, are a level of quality that we set for ourselves that serve as a basis for good judgment.

I never tell guys what exactly i am looking for because if I tend to tell them what my standards are, then they tend to do them with no intention of staying with me and only finding a loophole to use me in some way. This way they have to put in the work for the entire relationship not knowing what exactly my standards are until we take the relationship to the next level. if we break up then that means they didn’t live up to my standards, seriously.

i know what i bring to the table and what I bring is rare. i am ultra supportive. i am ultra kind, caring and compassionate. i am smart, sexy, passionate, adventurous, creative, and a go-getter. i don’t have time for guys who don’t see that in me and who don’t want me to be an even better version of who I am.
I also want to make a guy want to be a better version of himself. I want a guy who is going to want build something together as a team, not someone who is just out for the ride.
So, do you think you have what it takes?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

What Adam Levine Did Is Not That Uncommon; Sadly

On Tuesday after Instagram model Sumner Stroh claimed she had a year-long affair with the singer and then the floodgates opened up. Model Alyson Rosef shared her alleged direct messages with Levine in a now deleted Tiktok where she told everything that he said: “I shouldn’t be talking to you you know,” . Alyson claimed she had many more messages, but didn’t want to show them as they are “not appropriate.” Another woman, Maryka, a comedian, posted DMs from Levine on her IG story. One where she says to Adam, “Dude, aren’t you married lol” and he replies with, “Yes but it’s a bit complicated,” adding, “I might get away.” The final woman to come forward was his ex-yoga instructor who claimed he sent her messages while in a relationship.

This type of behavior has every one scratching their heads, ( but me) because he is married to a freaking Victoria’s Secret Model… and blah blah… looks are everything for men! And of course as I write about NFL players that ONLY care about dating supermodels and VS models, bikini girls.

Shallow men get with beautiful women for one reason: to show them off.

Shallow men cheat on beautiful women why: because they are ego maniacs.

They have low self-worth and make up for it by showing off their human commodities. All the kindness, soul and talent in the world will easily be traded for the next perky butt.

A guy who shall remain nameless told me why he cheated on his now ex-wife, who happens to be a gorgeous actress, ” I grew emotionally disconnected. I happened to meet some women and became friends with some of them. A spark grew with a few of them and it sometimes led to sex. When you cheat on someone it is not because they are more attractive than your partner, it is because they are giving you something that you want. They do not have to be better, they just have to fill a void.”

However, when it comes to “looks” and “attractiveness,” the definitions are often confusing and vague, and can depend on the era, culture, and individual.

For many people, “looks” don’t necessarily refer to someone’s physical features. Many people find physical attributes like personal style, hygiene, or posture attractive, too.

It’s also important to note that sometimes attractiveness doesn’t have anything to do with your physical attributes. Attractiveness can include many things that go beyond the physical, such as:

  • having a sense of humor
  • having shared interests with your partner
  • being kind
  • having values and principals
  • making your partner feel safe and happy
  • being attractive to others

That’s all to say, looks aren’t the only thing that can attract you to someone.

On a societal level, our definition of beauty today is different than it was 500 years ago. Most notably, in the last decade, there’s been a social media-induced phenomenon in which new standards of beauty are evolving out of the digital space.

Instagram dysmorphia a perfect example of how virtual communication has given rise to different ideals of beauty that tend to affect the nature of dating.

This is a phenomenon in which people who use social apps develop body disorder. They want to look like their online selves, even though their images online don’t reflect their true appearance and have been modified using filters and visual effects.

Scientists believe that women’s evaluation of the physical attractiveness of a mate is influenced by indications of the potential mate’s genetic quality as well as the mate’s ability to protect and invest in her and her children.

Of course, these evolved preferences are complex and interact with other factors. Individual differences, culture, and environment also play a major role in shaping what you find attractive in a potential partner. it’s important not to generalize about someone’s attractiveness preferences based on their gender.

In a relationship, personal qualities like humility and kindness may become much more important in determining the success of the relationship over time.

While looks may get potential partners to turn heads, what really holds a relationship together has much more to do with how two people connect on a deeper level. 

Looks fade. Personality is forever. 

And speaking about Direct Messaging on social media, Absolutely NO ONE has the right to take a private conversation public UNLESS there is a serious situation at hand. Trying to embarrass someone else with the words they told you, just for 15 minutes of fame, is not right either. I never reveal WHO DMs me and WHAT they say unless there’s a case for it. ( Life or death, a court case, or defamation for starters.)

Private conversations should ALWAYS stay private.
But let this be a lesson to some guys out there that if you want to flirt with other girls WHILE married, you are asking for trouble. If you aren’t happy then get divorced. The ones this stuff hurts the most are the wives and kids left behind.

Two last thoughts:

  1. There is no such as a home wrecker; it’s a myth. If someone else was able to come in and destroy your relationship it’s because your partner opened the door and let them in.
  2. Men be like, “you can’t turn a hoe into a housewife” but a woman is supposed to make felons, liars, and cheaters into kings.

I rest my case.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Introducing: The Diary Of A Social Gal Media Tour

Starting Tomorrow, September 18th I will be heading into NYC to take The Diary of a Social Gal Public….

So what am I going to be doing?

Well, for starters, each Sunday that I am doing the tour I will give my podcast viewers/listeners and blog readers a chance to WIN some great prizes all my joining me on Twitter as a bonus if you follow me on LinkedIn, you will get a second chance to win a prize. If you follow either my Sassy Stuff board or my Podcast board on Pinterest, that will be a third chance to win a prize!

Here’s how you can win a prize…. you will have to GUESS where I am and on Twitter when I post the hint, under that tweet we will have a thread of guess where I am. At the end of the tour for that day I will announce where I am. I will give you a max number of 3 hints while I am out. The 3rd hint I will expand with a very small video podcast where I will talk about did you know about myself, the NY Rangers, Dating/Relationship Observations, or Everyone’s favorite segment: My Rants.

The other way to win a prize will be when I post social media content ideas on LinkedIn and you need to comment with a photo of you doing that specific content idea. On Pinterest I will post “fun facts” and links to my podcasts can you will need to comment if the fun fact is true or false and with my podcasts, you would need listen to it for the hint word of the week.

So, I hope you will join me starting tomorrow.

It’s going to be fun and I plan to have fun. Oh, each week may not be the SAME time, but I will send out a “Pre-tour” tweet to let you know when we will start! And…. If won’t ALWAYS be NYC… I can literally “pop up” ANYWHERE. ( And I mean, anywhere!)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort #facts

On my podcast, “The Recordings of A Fan girl #sarcasm, I talk about dating, relationships and I mention athletes A LOT with their relationships and dating no-nos. As both the NFL and NHL start up again on September 11th, I thought hey, let’s review some past tips and past stories this week on my podcast.
Here though, I will mention a few goodies.

Click Here to see the screen shot I will be now referring to:

This here is the shit I have to deal with all the time! Dumb ass guys trying to disguise themselves on line to either: A: Hit on me B: Ask dumbass questions C: Think that they are being clever D: This guy actually thinks this here is a pick up line ( which is scary!)

Like I have mentioned here and on my podcast athletes have burner accounts and sometimes they make them so damn obvious too. Not only do they have burner accounts, but they also try their best to disguise themselves on dating apps like Tinder for example. The ones I have seen are NFL players pretending to be construction workers, landscapers, plumbers, real estate agents, etc. Remember, the only reason they are on these apps is for their hook-up on the road, although I have seen these guys be extremely stupid and actually find hook-ups on their home turf.
Some incredibly stupid women have also posted Tiktoks where they show themselves at the guy’s game and then realize that they were set up with a player and had no idea. Other Tiktoks show girls exposing the players cheating on their girlfriends and wives. We’ll get into it on the podcast this week!

As for dating and relationship observations, here are a couple of mine.

1- The first three dates ( which could be seen as a barometer) should just be friendly dates because then you’re really know if you want to pursue anything else and believe me I have had physical attraction right from the get go with some people and it didn’t end up the way that I wanted it to but I don’t regret having that relationship with those people because it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me how relationships last and how relationships don’t last. – Now, when sexual shenanigans take place, that can cloud your judgement on a person. But I don’t think there are any rules to dating expect the 1st date should not include shenanigans.
Also a “date” consists of either coffee, drinks, dinner, a fun nonsexual activity.

2- Sometimes one person in the relationship grows faster and grows completely away from what brought them together in the first place while the other person is still stagnant in the same spot. This is why some relationships fail.

3- I don’t understand why people want to be in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship if it’s not something that you really really want. Why waste all that time and energy to just date for the sake of dating you know?

4- There’s so much double standards STILL with women in relationships. We can’t ask guys out because that seems too aggressive or seems as the masculine thing to do when we have to only show our feminine side… blah blah blah.

5- Then of course the stigma about women being single… Women Like the character Samantha Jones from Sex and The City had sex “Like a man” you know, had her way with him, and then was done with him, she is seen as hoe or a whore. Meanwhile guys can do whatever the hell they want and there’s no stigma to that.

6- If I decide to date a guy that that’s younger than me I’m gonna be seen as a cougar but when a guy my age, date’s a girl younger than him it’s OK. But I am more attracted to young guys 24-30.

7- Of course there is still the stigma that there’s something wrong with a woman who stays single too. I’m not gonna waste my time to going out with someone because all my friends are with someone or all the pressures on women . I don’t really go with the trendy stuff if you haven’t noticed, I do what is best for me whether other people like it or not.

8- Athletes fall into 1 of 2 categories- A) The one where they have to date arm candy because that is all they have to offer and it makes them look “good, powerful and important. ” B) The one where they actually date someone not because of who they are, what they look like, or the attention they would get because they dated that person, but because simply they love who they are, they are supportive, loyal, and they bring out the best in them when they are performing in their sport. I guess that is why this former cheerleader and current cheer coach loves being around athletes, because I LEAD.
That’s why we’re called cheerleaders because we’re supposed to LEAD not sit on the sidelines and watch things happen. I am loyal, supportive, and I understand things from an athlete’s point of view. They aren’t robots, they are people. They have emotions, they hurt, have pain, and experience life just like any of us. Most fans forget that part, sadly.
I root hard for those I care about. I want them to succeed. I want them to have their dreams come true.
If you read this blog, religiously, then you read me talk about my previous relationships, and what I took from them to become the best version of myself in order to be able to give that to a guy who deserves it in the future. Yes, I know I am a rare breed, I am the prize. I know what I bring to the table. And one day, a guy is going to see that… If we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Guys, can we stop this already?

Why do you guys one, feel the need to honk your horn when you drive by a girl you like? And two, still use corny, foolish pick up lines?

Pick up lines are outdated and borderline embarrassing.

Do you guys know what is sexy?

When you approach a girl while being your authentic self and flat out have a casual conversation with her. Yes, you read that right. Pick up lines, like in the video, are foolish, corny, and some of them are vulgar.

STOP thinking that is going to land you a date with a girl that you want. Instead all she is going to do is roll her eyes, laugh AT you, and walk away.

Watch the video about honking your horn at a girl. What do you think she is going to do?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Romantic Gestures: Men Get a Pass, Women Get Labeled.

When men attempt bold gestures it’s considered romantic and sweet. When a woman attempts them, it’s considered desperate and crazy. Watch any romantic movie and they will tell you the same old, boring, story: If you want to win the love of your life, an over-the-top romantic gesture is the way to go. But hold on, wait a minute, those bold gestures are for the man to do, not a woman.

When Maroon 5 sings, “Baby, I’m preying on you tonight/Maybe you think that you can hide/I can smell your scent for miles,” hardly anyone flinches at the creepy craziness of these lyrics. But when Taylor Swift writes a song, people accuse her of being spiteful, vengeful, and retreating to her crazy woman-den to write mean songs about men.

The vast majority of women may be totally “normal” in a relationship. But then you see one woman acting jealous, insecure, or worse, going after a guy they want and you think, “See!? Women are crazy!” See, when a woman does something “crazy,” like show a man a bold gesture, it’s because she is crazy. When a man does the exact same thing, it’s because men are romantic and strong.

The reasons are simple though: Women feel more emotions than men — it’s that they’re more likely to talk about it, therefore when men actually show emotions, it’s them as weak. But when they show a romantic gesture, it shows them as the hunters, the strong vital man who hunts down his prey in order to salvage his manhood. Back in the day the romantic gestures were; opening the door for her, giving her flowers, taking her out on romantic dinner, giving her kiss on her forehead, basically be a gentlemen. Today that chivalry is nonexistent. It’s all about how far you can get with a woman today. Guys today don’t realize just how much we women want the old fashioned chivalry to make a comeback.

Men don’t like women to be initiators. At least the majority doesn’t even though you see men do Tiktoks where they “claim” that they enjoy being pursued. Now, it is important for me to add, that there are men who don’t mind if a woman asks him out, but that percentage is about 15%. The other 85% still want to be the hunter, “so to speak.”

So to the other 85% of men who assume that when a woman asks you out or presents you wilth a bold gestures let me tell you a few things: 1- yes she is bold and forward to ask you because SHE LIKES YOU! 2- NO, she is not pushy, demanding or controlling. 3- This idea that cannot be her protector because she is the one who asked you out is absurd! EVERY woman wants to be loved and feel protected no matter if you ask her or she asks you! 4- She will not make you submit to her will! Please! Now, if you date a woman who knows what she wants, doesn’t that make it easier for you? and finally 5, She will value my achievements and your dreams. Just because she approached you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t value what you bring to the table or what your goals in life are- that idea is so ridiculous!

If a woman asks you out, that is a compliment to you. She sees something in you that she wants, and she wants to get to know you. Embrace it, enjoy it and stop with the gender double standards. Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. It shouldn’t matter at the end of the day, who asked who out, but the relationship that the two of you share.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Just Ask Her Out Already… and other relationship ramblings

I love it when guys go: “She’s never gonna go out with me!” Hey dude, did it ever occur to you to just ASK her? Stop playing games and the negative mindset and ask her.
Guys today play the double edge sword game: They want to STILL be the ones to ask the girl out in 2022 BUT then you hear that they “don’t mind” having a girl ask them out.
Um, which one is it? Seriously.

I don’t want to hear that women who ask guys out are aggressive and intimating. Girls who ask a guy out are doing themselves the biggest favor. They are picking out a male human being who they like, as opposed to hoping for the right guy to come along and ask them out – which is a very passive, and a sometimes doomed way to approach the whole dating game. It does not matter if guys say no. It is not going to kill you. The same approach should be seen for guys. IF she says no, SO WHAT? Move the fuck on. Go find another girl and ask her out. The idea that your “ego” is going to be hurt is ridiculous when the fact is that you are WASTING time and energy ” hoping” she will say yes and you are wasting feelings on someone who wasn’t meant to be in your path.
Some guys stay single for years cause they’re too afraid of rejection to ask women out, when they can be just as afraid of rejection as women.

The expectations around dating are bullshit. Laying it all out on the line is a pretty good turn on if you ask me. But still in 2022, young people are told to follow “rules” that really they should not be following anymore. For starters, Girls taking the initiative to ask boys out directly contradicts everything we know about gender roles in relationships. She is making the first romantic overtures and asking the man to go out drinks, lunch, dinner, etc. This is still taboo because when a woman takes charge of anything, she’s automatically coded as masculine, because she is allegedly taking the man’s role. Women shouldn’t fear being masculine because it shouldn’t have any impact on their womanhood whatsoever. Sometimes waiting for guys to do something it is like waiting for someone to finally nail jello to a tree, meaning it never happens. The entire human race could have died out years ago if women sat around always waiting for a guy to make up his mind and ask her out.

But I get why most women don’t ask guys out: Women are discouraged from pursuing men because that suggests impatience or force. Women are seen as desperate or needy when that is far from the truth. Much of men’s authority in relationships is derived from having the final say on relationship decisions. If you want your relationship to start out on the right foot and be sure that you have a “real man,” you should wait for him to ask you out. Or at least, that’s the message we send out today. Again, I will repeat myself: Women LOVE men who are controlling but we don’t like men who try to control us- there’s a difference. Having a guy control a situation and stand up for us, support us, want the best for us, etc … that shit is real. But having a guy control who we CAN be, who we are, is not cool at all.

Bottom line: 1- there are no “leagues” when it comes to dating. Don’t think that ANY guy or girl is “outta your league” that is NOT a positive self-image to have for yourself.
2- While most men have been conditioned to always make the first move, some men would actually appreciate taking the back seat once in a while. To them, it is in fact refreshing and a huge compliment to have a girl ask them out for a change. (Those are not the cocky, narcissistic, petty guys, those are the real men (hockey players) that know it’s a compliment for a girl to ask him out) 3- Just as we ladies HATE it when men play games with us, the more straightforward we are the better. Sometimes we think we need to drop lots of hints to show that we want to ask them out. However, the best approach is to just be very clear about it for example by saying, “I would love if I take you out for a drink, coffee, lunch, dinner…” Hints and signs will not get us anywhere with men. 4- If there is a girl that you have your eye on guys, ASK HER OUT. Just do it. Stop playing scenarios in your head and ask her- you really don’t have anything to lose. Seriously.