Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Are you basic or extra?

You have women out here in the world who pretend to to not have high standards just so they can land a dude who give them the bare minimum. First off, having high standards is NOT the same as being high maintenance… something most guys are WRONG about and clearly don’t understand.
See, guys should want to level up with a woman who levels up, but they don’t. They allow their egos to get the best of them and instead “settle” for a girl who only wants the bare minimum and who is basic.

Let’s look at professional athletes for a moment… Think about this: There is not one pro-athlete that comes to mind who is with a woman of substance. (A woman who is extra and who brings more attention) Even Tom Brady could not hack being with Giselle anymore, whom is extremely extra! That is why it is interesting to see Kelce with Taylor Swift. ( Which looks like a relationship for publicly) If you think back to Taylor’s relationship with Harry Styles, you will see exactly what I am saying. The guy is the one who needs to be the one with the attention, the bag and the benefits; not the woman in the relationship.

People ask me all the time why men don’t want to level up and care so much about being in the forefront of the relationship; the woman takes a backseat to the man, especially a man who is an athlete. The reason is simple. A guy chooses a basic girl because a girl who is extra won’t force him to be a better man and won’t put up with his bullshit.

That is why on dating apps, women are fed up with men’s shit. They aren’t thirsty as guys think they are anymore. Us women are tired of the men who want to hook up, men who want to use us as eye candy, men who want a mother instead of a girlfriend or a wife. Women are tired of telling men to ”man up” too. It’s at the point that women in their 30s and 40s are choosing to be single. They have had it. And this pisses off men who think that they can “trick” women into chasing them. Ha! Women don’t chase, they replace. Girls chase and that is why men are with basic girls.

High achieving women who are independent and go-getters are usually left alone by men who have this stupid ideal woman still stuck in their heads. Um, guys, your ideal woman DOES NOT exist. And if you are still basing everything on looks, you’re going to be disappointed as she ages. Some guys don’t want to build with a woman either, they just expect her to take care of the household and be that little perfect submissive wife too. Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble, but those days are LONG GONE as it is not 1950 anymore.

So here we are at the crossroads of dating and relationships. What is going to happen when these men finally wake up and see how they are shaping the dating culture for their daughters? And what is going to happen when these basic women get tired of being called out?

Time will tell, won’t it?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Theory On Men

Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy.  It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.

Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.

There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.

Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!

In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!