Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Stalking On Social Media Is Not Cool

I seriously need to learn how to speak stupid since most people don’t understand that they can’t keep crossing people’s boundaries and expect that to be okay.

Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Unfortunately social media stalking has become so normalized and I don’t mean spying on someone by looking at what they are posting and what they are saying. I mean flat out stalking. You post something, they reply. You talk to someone else, they interrupt the conversation by forcing themselves within the conversation. You flirt with someone, they act all jealous by saying something they think is funny when it’s rude.

You get the gist of what I am saying. That is NOT normal. That is NOT acceptable. That is stalking plain and simple.

What is worse is when they start Dming you to gaslight and manipulate you into talking to them when you are trying your best to avoid them and avoid the drama that goes along with that. Remember, Gaslighting is when they insist you said or did things you know you didn’t do. Call you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs or concerns. Often people gaslight because being right allows them to validate themselves. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. They are trying to get you to feel that you are at fault not them for their behavior.

There are boundaries that NO ONE should EVER cross when on social media and that making someone feel uncomfortable on a social media platform. Sometimes we do things without knowing that we are being that way and then there people who clearly know what they are doing and they don’t care how they make others feel. I have boundaries on line and no one is allowed to cross them. I don’t care who they hell you are, if you make me question why I am following you, why I am talking to you and why I am allowing you to follow me, then I act quickly and I block your ass.

There are certain social media etiquette rules that people tend to forget, so the reality is, social media is social interaction. It’s not just like real life; it is real life. So act accordingly by asking yourself before posting anything: Would I be comfortable saying this face to face? In the ‘real’ world, would you randomly approach an acquaintance and ask them for a favor?” Would you jump into a conversation with strangers without some context? Accept a gift without saying ‘thank you’?” Just because you are online doesn’t mean that these real life rules don’t apply. IF someone is PUBLICLY flirting with someone and YOU ARE NOT THE PERSON THEY ARE FLIRTING WITH STAY OUT OF THE CONVERSATION! Just because it’s a public forum, like Twitter, doesn’t mean that people need your 2 cents with EVERY SINGLE TWEET! When you do that you look like a jealous asshole who can’t contain him/herself and think you need to part of the conversation when it doesn’t concern YOU!

When you follow people, on ANY platform DO NOT LIKE OLD PHOTOS. That is the biggest stalking red flag. Do not belittle others, downgrade others or bully others on a public forum. First off it’s just rude and uncalled for. Secondly it does not make you look like a tough guy/girl, it makes you look small and insecure.

Know when to comment and when to be part of a conversation. There are many times that I see people having a serious conversation or they are so engrossed in the conversation on Twitter or even Facebook that I don’t bother to get involved. I will read the conversation, but I know my place. I know WHEN to comment and WHEN to stay out. I also know HOW to be an adult in a conversation which means that if you can’t talk to me nicely, and you start acting childish, I automatically block you.

Don’t be afraid to mute people or block them. You should NEVER feel uncomfortable using ANY platform and if someone is making you feel that way, you have EVERY right to protect your sanity and your boundaries.

Social media should be a place where you meet new friends, network, entertain others and also advertise businesses. Let’s all try to keep it that way.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

An Award Winning Presentation of The Recordings Of A Fangirl #sarcasm ( NYR ed)

The 2022 Davey Sliver Award Winning Podcast: The Recordings of a Fangirl #sarcasm NYR Ed 11/4/22

For the SPECIAL FASHION SEGMENT – I went back to 2016. We are starting with # 5 of the BEST Dressed NY Rangers that I talk on the #youtube above!

Here’s Brady Skjei;

Here are some of the guys from the team NOW:

Vinny T – That Tie makes the outfit complete. I just don’t like the shoes without socks look. But overall- A+

Here is Key ( Fashion Ave Baby!)

Here is my favorite look for Lindy and Laffy.
SWAGGER!!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Fashion Avenue #NYR Style

On my winning podcast “The Recordings of A Fan girl #Sarcasm ” I talk about fashion and hockey boys; specifically the NY Rangers.
This Friday 10/ 28 I will judge these looks ( plus some others- look at the photos below)

I’ll give a hint here: 😍😎🤩🥵

Adam Fox
Ryan Reaves

K’Andre Miller

The Podcast link will be updated in this post Friday. In the meantime… enjoy the videos/photos

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort #facts

On my podcast, “The Recordings of A Fan girl #sarcasm, I talk about dating, relationships and I mention athletes A LOT with their relationships and dating no-nos. As both the NFL and NHL start up again on September 11th, I thought hey, let’s review some past tips and past stories this week on my podcast.
Here though, I will mention a few goodies.

Click Here to see the screen shot I will be now referring to:

This here is the shit I have to deal with all the time! Dumb ass guys trying to disguise themselves on line to either: A: Hit on me B: Ask dumbass questions C: Think that they are being clever D: This guy actually thinks this here is a pick up line ( which is scary!)

Like I have mentioned here and on my podcast athletes have burner accounts and sometimes they make them so damn obvious too. Not only do they have burner accounts, but they also try their best to disguise themselves on dating apps like Tinder for example. The ones I have seen are NFL players pretending to be construction workers, landscapers, plumbers, real estate agents, etc. Remember, the only reason they are on these apps is for their hook-up on the road, although I have seen these guys be extremely stupid and actually find hook-ups on their home turf.
Some incredibly stupid women have also posted Tiktoks where they show themselves at the guy’s game and then realize that they were set up with a player and had no idea. Other Tiktoks show girls exposing the players cheating on their girlfriends and wives. We’ll get into it on the podcast this week!

As for dating and relationship observations, here are a couple of mine.

1- The first three dates ( which could be seen as a barometer) should just be friendly dates because then you’re really know if you want to pursue anything else and believe me I have had physical attraction right from the get go with some people and it didn’t end up the way that I wanted it to but I don’t regret having that relationship with those people because it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me how relationships last and how relationships don’t last. – Now, when sexual shenanigans take place, that can cloud your judgement on a person. But I don’t think there are any rules to dating expect the 1st date should not include shenanigans.
Also a “date” consists of either coffee, drinks, dinner, a fun nonsexual activity.

2- Sometimes one person in the relationship grows faster and grows completely away from what brought them together in the first place while the other person is still stagnant in the same spot. This is why some relationships fail.

3- I don’t understand why people want to be in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship if it’s not something that you really really want. Why waste all that time and energy to just date for the sake of dating you know?

4- There’s so much double standards STILL with women in relationships. We can’t ask guys out because that seems too aggressive or seems as the masculine thing to do when we have to only show our feminine side… blah blah blah.

5- Then of course the stigma about women being single… Women Like the character Samantha Jones from Sex and The City had sex “Like a man” you know, had her way with him, and then was done with him, she is seen as hoe or a whore. Meanwhile guys can do whatever the hell they want and there’s no stigma to that.

6- If I decide to date a guy that that’s younger than me I’m gonna be seen as a cougar but when a guy my age, date’s a girl younger than him it’s OK. But I am more attracted to young guys 24-30.

7- Of course there is still the stigma that there’s something wrong with a woman who stays single too. I’m not gonna waste my time to going out with someone because all my friends are with someone or all the pressures on women . I don’t really go with the trendy stuff if you haven’t noticed, I do what is best for me whether other people like it or not.

8- Athletes fall into 1 of 2 categories- A) The one where they have to date arm candy because that is all they have to offer and it makes them look “good, powerful and important. ” B) The one where they actually date someone not because of who they are, what they look like, or the attention they would get because they dated that person, but because simply they love who they are, they are supportive, loyal, and they bring out the best in them when they are performing in their sport. I guess that is why this former cheerleader and current cheer coach loves being around athletes, because I LEAD.
That’s why we’re called cheerleaders because we’re supposed to LEAD not sit on the sidelines and watch things happen. I am loyal, supportive, and I understand things from an athlete’s point of view. They aren’t robots, they are people. They have emotions, they hurt, have pain, and experience life just like any of us. Most fans forget that part, sadly.
I root hard for those I care about. I want them to succeed. I want them to have their dreams come true.
If you read this blog, religiously, then you read me talk about my previous relationships, and what I took from them to become the best version of myself in order to be able to give that to a guy who deserves it in the future. Yes, I know I am a rare breed, I am the prize. I know what I bring to the table. And one day, a guy is going to see that… If we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.

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Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI. Hello, Stefon Diggs, having 2 women in the SAME hotel but different rooms on Valentine’s Day! Like no one was going to find out- seriously and as I have written many times, NFL players do this shit constantly. This is why I never ever will date an NFL player. They have to be the most superficial, selfish, frustrating men on the planet when it comes to relationships. The only genuine and down to earth athlete that I would ever date would be a hockey player. And if you read some previous posts, I even told you which one I would date in a heartbeat and why. I dated back in the day a guy who tried out for the Cowboys and I dated a guy back in the day who was in the minor leagues for the NHL, so I can see the difference since it’s night and day, for those at home keeping score.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing or like I have mentioned before guys creating fake accounts to follow me on social media to “ see what I am up too.” Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, or interested now in, by either pretending to be a woman, getting a woman they know to befriend me or creating a burner account on social media.

What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

I started to think the other day though, women complain that guys don’t know what we want and guys complain that we won’t tell them. I seriously think there is a miscommunication on this point because mostly we don’t focus to understand, we only wait to respond. So here are a few things that woman want all the men out here to know:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4- Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap and don’t come back either.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

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Every Summer Has A Story

Its that time of year again when I am reminded that, “”In every girl’s life, there’s a boy she’ll never forget & a summer when it all began.” Love may start in Spring, but it evolves in Summer.

For me, I can remember way back when to the first summer love I had, in fifth grade. His name was Michael. He was the new boy in class and at first I did not like him at all. (Love/Hate relationships are always intense) He would drive me absolutely crazy by constantly shaking his pen when it ran out of ink. (Like shaking your pen is going to help!) So I came up with an idea to write him a note and tell him just how annoying he truly was. The only problem was that his older cousin was in eighth grade and when she found out that I wrote him a note and told him that if he didn’t stop it, I was going to then throw my pen at him, she kindly told me to cut it out.

And that is when the romance began.

We got to know each other so much so that he even sang to me at lunch one of those inappropriate George Michael songs. Once June came around and school was out, that is when our romance really took off. He would call me and we would hang out, but sadly like every fling, things ended the following year. Okay, so that is not necessarily a summer romance, and yeah, I was eleven, but its got to start somewhere for everyone.

Years later, when I was a junior going to be a senior in high school, that is when another “Mike” came into the picture. He was one year older than me and would visit his best friend who lived near me. That is when I came up with a dance group with all the girls that lived in my neighborhood and they danced my choreography that I created to all the hot songs of the 90’s. He would sit in his car and watch. When I would walk by his car he would stare and smile at me, and I literally felt like I was going to melt!

This particular story brings up even more memories that I won’t get into now, but trust me, some of those memories I am fond of while others are heartbreaking.

So what is the deal with summer, romance, flings, and love?

The summer time is when love seems to rear its head and capture our imagination. During the summer, we feel free, we feel the promise of being able to forget what has happened so far and the promise of starting over. Its a time when also, people want to show off all the winter weight they have lost, so people are actually more attractive in the summer then any other season.

The other reason why the summer time brings out the beast called love is because we get to meet people we never have seen before. Do you all remember the movie, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” and ho she met her fling, turned romance while on vacation? (Yes, its just a movie, but it does really happen!) We are more open to being impulsive, the sunshine is also brighter, we are happier, and the chance of turning a hot day into a steamy night is greater.

Ever hear the saying, “Live it up?” During the summer, that is mostly everyone’s motto.

So how can you have a summer fling turned romance?

The number one way is to GET OFF YOUR PHONE and GO OUT and enjoy life. Seriously, we are becoming too attached to shopping for humans with a swipe of a thumb that when we are out in our every day world, we don’t look at people as potential dating partners at all. We could be passing up a wonderful person and not really even realize that!
Yes, if you met someone even on Twitter, take that relationship offline.
There’s BBQs, bonfires, beaches, lakes, boardwalks, street fairs, etc. the point being is that everyone is outdoors doing their thing, why aren’t you out there flirting it up?

Get adventurous. Do something that you usually don’t do. Put yourself in a situation where you have to meet people- cross something off your bucket list. There are road trips, parks, and places that you can meet folks inside and outside.

Do you have someone in mind that you would like to even possibly date in the summer; this is the TIME TO ASK HIM/HER out! The summer time is the best time to get to know someone since mostly EVERYONE is more relaxed and less stressed. SO go for it… ask that person out. Now, speaking as a female, I prefer to have the guy ask me out, (been there, done that asking a guy out thing) and I am to the one to do the flirting first thing.

If really want the summer fling to last and turn it into the romance of your year or ultimately the one you end up with forever, the two things you need to remember are:

You need to express how you feel. There seems to be some unwritten rule that says summer flings have an expiration date and that we just assume the romance needs to be over with. But if you don’t ask or tell the person how you feel, you may actually be letting go of the person you were meant to be with forever!

The second thing you need to do is include him/her into your everyday after-summer- is -over life. He/She needs to see you, talk to you,when the beach days are over with and the colder weather starts to creep on in. But lets not dwell on this yet, for the summer is only starting and the promise of romance is in the air!

Two cheers to the summer and the potential of remembering a summer that began with a look, a smile, and a kiss.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Is Every Body Really Beautiful?

Having a healthy body image means that a person accepts the way they look without trying to change their body to fit what they think they should look like since society portrays “what we should look like and be” in order to be accepted. This attitude is very dangerous because the greater our discontent with how we measure up when compared to what society tells us we “should” look like, the more negative our body image, and the greater the risk for extreme behaviors.

When you are talking about weight and women, you cannot wage war on obesity without waging war on the people who live in those “obese” bodies. No one should be bullied for their weight or food choices, but ‘fat pride’ promotes dangerous weight levels. And while shopping at Target, yet once again, I came across a T-shirt that said, “Every Body Is Beautiful” – and I found myself saying, “No,” out loud. Empowering women of non-Barbie proportions to feel good about themselves, is one thing. But suggesting that being a size 30 is just as healthy as being a size 12 isn’t a body-positive message either – it’s an irresponsible lie. And what is worse is the fact that these women are being used in the industry to sell products, clothes, and food designed to “celebrate” their non-skinny bodies.

Think about this for a second: smoking is an addiction that many struggle to control, as is weight, but we don’t celebrate it with social media campaigns about smoking pride the same as they do with “fat pride.” While what you do with your own body is your own business, actively encouraging unhealthy lifestyle choices and denying health risks with being obese on social media isn’t promoting body positivity, it’s the stepping stones to having an eating disorder. This idea that you are “fat but fit” is just a social media campaign that promotes being unhealthy all for a good buck.

Now, as I don’t agree that every woman needs to be a size 2 to be accepted, I think the main focus of society shouldn’t be the outer shell we are in, but rather who we are as people. The saying is true, “Looks fade, but personality and who you are is forever.”

When it comes to weight and women, it really is a catch 22: damned if you are skinny, and damned if you overweight and then talk about it all. Why can’t we just be allowed to celebrate WHO we are, not WHAT we look like? Remember, we create a legacy for ourselves. Do you want to be remembered on how you looked, or on your character?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

2020 Should Be The Year Of Gratitude

2020 has somehow been the best year of your life and you don’t even know it. We’ve all faced challenge after challenge. You’ve adapted, no matter how slow it took you to adapt. And 2020 has forced us to grow exponentially. We shouldn’t take that for granted. Instead we should be grateful for that opportunity. Take the negative, flip it, and turn it into a positive.

Think about how you have grown and how you have spent your time this year.

Did you reconnect with people you would have never connected with otherwise?
Did the quarantine force you to spend more time with your family, bond with your kids and also help you learn patience?
Do you appreciate your health more and respect your body more?
Are you still afraid to live in the moment?
Are you ready and able to take calculated risks?

Think about all that and tell me that is not living your best life. Yes, Covid19 was a struggle and still is, especially if you own a business, run a business and it also took some of our dear family and friends away, but when we focus on the negative we never get to appreciate what we have and the growth we experienced.

As you sit down to dinner on Thanksgiving day, take a moment and recollect all the amazing things you did experience this year and try to figure out ways to take the negative moments, flip them, and try and find any sliver lining.

In a society that has you counting dollars, pounds, and time, be a rebel for once, and count your blessings.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

What Have We Learned?

Starting week five of being quarantined in my house, I am starting to look at what this virus is ( and should be) teaching us about life and about relationships. As this pandemic has unfolded, it has shifted how we live, how we work and how we value life.

The coronavirus has taught us that we are all connected. No matter how much money we make, where we live, what religion we practice, and so-forth, the virus has shown us that in times like this, when we stick together are we at our strongest and it has reminded us of just how much we have taken for granted. Not being able to gather together, hug each other, having the freedom to go out where and when we want, are just a few things that we have taken for granted now that we have to sit at home. Every day just pours into next day. If you haven’t thought about it, take a drive around your town and look at how it looks like a ghost town right about now.

During this crisis we may indeed notice who and what is most important. People now know who their true friends really are and just how important you are to them. Everyone is “stuck” at home. If they haven’t reached out by email, text, or even DM, then I am sorry to say…..   to finish reading, click the link and it will take you to the article I wrote for Vocal Media:

The Lessons from The CoronaVirus

index

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Diary of a Social Gal Part 5

 

People think that I must lead a glorious life.  Blogger, Writer, Girl Boss, Cheerleading Coach, and so forth. Oh yes,  it’s glorious. (Add Sarcasm)

Let me preface this story with a wild little fact:  Doing all the above as your full-time job is actually really hard work! When I tell people what I do, they often laugh and say something like,  “Must be nice getting paid to sit in your PJs all day.”  Clearly, there is some confusion about what I do all day, so I’m here to spill the beans-

First thing I do each day is work out.
Then it’s time for coffee and mapping out my day.
I do have to then check emails, social media platforms for me and my clients.

Next thing on my list is to see what I can get done quickly.  ( I will go into this later on)

Writing, blogging, researching topics for my books, for social media posts, and also checking the updates to what each social media platform is doing in regards to the algorithm.   Now I can either post live or schedule some posts to go off later on.

Of course then I have to now switch gears and watch cheerleading routines – you should see my collection of DVDs – I also check out Pinterest and Youtube.  Then of course I have to make sure things that I would like my team to do are within the rules.

Workout 2 begins- Dance

Then well, I guess I should take a break.  So it’s probably lunchtime by now and if I don’t have any meetings or phone calls I can at least give myself an hour to do nothing.  (Now, when I have my radio show, I usually during lunchtime am setting up what I am going to be talking about and reviewing what I should talk about)

When that hour is over I now turn my attention in looking into some of my other ideas, create something, work on something, and I am either back online or responding to emails and messages.

Practice time

Home and I am done for the day. Although sometimes I do answer more emails at this time but I now give myself time to recoup from the day, watch sports, and go to sleep.

Check out the video on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest and stay tuned for videos coming entitled:

behind the scene