Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why chase you when I’m the catch?

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. I say that with the question in mind, “How long do you give a guy whom you gave your number too, to actually use it before you say, Fuck it and move on?” It’s a known fact that most men will not call you the day after they meet you, for fear of being perceived as too eager or desperate. (Which is the SILLIEST thing a guy can do!)

Then of course women try to analyze WHY he hasn’t called and if he plans on calling, which is again, a stupid thing a woman can do. Now of course there are MANY scenarios as to why a guy won’t call. Let’s look at those:

1) When a guy doesn’t call, he might be preoccupied with work or other commitments. He might’ve not had the time or headspace to give you a call. It’s also possible that he’s too busy to focus on his personal life, especially if he’s someone who constantly gets overwhelmed with work or the schedule is too crazy for him to actually have time to call you or even text you for that matter.
2) They want to test you to see if you are going to chase them. Which if you read this blog, you know that my motto is: I don’t chase, I replace. NEVER chase a guy. First off, it’s a waste of energy and secondly it is a foolish game to play. Sometimes men think that showing emotions and expressing their interest will drive them away from the people they like. They’re trying to keep the mystery and interest alive by playing hard to get.
3) Research says phone anxiety might not be as uncommon as people think. If he’s someone who’s suffering from a social anxiety disorder, there’s a good chance that they feel very uncomfortable when calling you.  He is already insecure about himself and thinks you are freaking perfect, ( which NO ONE is, especially me, and he stupidly thinks he doesn’t deserve you!)
4) Men are NOT good with emotions. Period. They struggle with showing people how they feel and expressing themselves clearly so sometimes a guy doesn’t call or text a girl who shows him interest especially because HE IS interested in her as well.
5)He’s not into you. Yes, there is a serious possibility that is just isn’t into you and he is NEVER going to reach out. So, should you put all your eggs into one basket or move on to someone else?

You know how the story goes, you move on and have options, and he sees you with his friend, or someone he knows or even a complete stranger that is not him, and he panics and will text you. This then leads you to make a decision as to which guy you are going to choose. Which if you ask me is not a bad thing. I would continue to date the guy that you are entertaining while planning to then go out and meet for drinks with the guy whom you gave your number too. Let him point blank know that you are not exclusive but that you want to be exclusive and see what happens.


BUT- here is a tip for the guys. …

Men underestimate a silent female. If she is quiet and no longer interested in what you’re doing and she’s paying attention to another guy… she mostly is finished with you… and if you want her you are going to have to show it to her since he fumbled the bag and didn’t call you nor text you and it’s been OVER a month. Then by all means, let him walk. If he decides to mess it all up & lose the BEST thing to ever enter his life…that’s on him not you.

Also, on a different note, here is a men fact for the ladies to know: If a guy is criticizing another woman: Her looks, how she dresses, how she talks etc… He’s ATTRACTED to her. Period. You’re welcome.

Always know that you don’t chase, you attract. You’re the prize and 1 lucky guy is going to be thanking the guy that didn’t want to show interest in you and took a risk and dated you. That new guy is going to be so happy that you also were smart enough to know that you have options.

You can HAVE any guy your heart’s desire…. don’t settle on the one that is still unsure.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Do You Know What It Takes?

Recently, someone asked me, ” What is the bare minimum in a relationship?”

That question is loaded one simply because most people don’t quite understand that your standards need to be higher than the bare minimum, which you should be getting anyway.
They put in minimum investment in the relationship, while expecting you to do everything for them. They are only looking to use your good intentions to get the maximum benefits out of you. Bare minimum-ing someone means exactly what it says: you’re only giving them the bare minimum of yourself. The bare minimum of your time, effort, attention, commitment, and emotions. My advice to everyone is to never settle your standards and stoop low for someone ONLY giving you the bare minimum. Here are some examples of someone only doing the bare minimum:

1) A person who respects your boundaries
2) A person who doesn’t demand to know all your passwords or snoop through your phone
3)Someone who likes cuddling or talking when you’re together than scrolling through their phone
4) Someone who gives compliments without being asked
5) A person who remembers your birthday or at least keeps it listed where they can be reminded
6) A person who always finds time to be with you
7)A person who says sorry when they are wrong
8)Giving compliments is not doing a lot. But Giving One Without being told to do that is what they should be doing.

Those are prime examples of the bare minimum that everyone in a relationship should be doing. But IF they also if They Only make an effort to keep you around, and your relationship never grows, that is also a cause for alarm. Why? Because they are only doing the bare minimum and it’s mostly like They act like a roommate with whom you have sex with. They don’t make any effort for romance or adventure at all.

People tend to think that expectations are standards and those two things are totally different. For example, I expect to be treated with respect is not a standard but an expectation. I expect him to be loyal, caring, compassionate, loving, honest, etc. again, Those are not standards. Expectations are the ideas we have about how we want certain situations to turn out or some people to be. Standards, however, are a level of quality that we set for ourselves that serve as a basis for good judgment.

I never tell guys what exactly i am looking for because if I tend to tell them what my standards are, then they tend to do them with no intention of staying with me and only finding a loophole to use me in some way. This way they have to put in the work for the entire relationship not knowing what exactly my standards are until we take the relationship to the next level. if we break up then that means they didn’t live up to my standards, seriously.

i know what i bring to the table and what I bring is rare. i am ultra supportive. i am ultra kind, caring and compassionate. i am smart, sexy, passionate, adventurous, creative, and a go-getter. i don’t have time for guys who don’t see that in me and who don’t want me to be an even better version of who I am.
I also want to make a guy want to be a better version of himself. I want a guy who is going to want build something together as a team, not someone who is just out for the ride.
So, do you think you have what it takes?

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

For Sale: A Little Black Dress

In 2022 we all still having dating backwards and confused about “rules” we each have to follow. Men are told that they are the hunters and that they have to hunt based on superficial things. While women are seen as pieces of meat and can’t be aggressive, independent or self-sufficient. Women “need” a man, they can not just “want” a man.
Men can’t call or text a girl he likes after the first date for about three days, because that will make him seems “overzealous” and “too interested,” (God forbid he seems interested in her!) Also, a man needs to use a lame pick up line in order to start a damn freaking conversation, because they ain’t built that way! Heaven Forbid they have a regular conversation with a girl and then at the end of the conversation, give her his number!? Women can not make the first move, because that is a “man’s” job and she can not me too independent because the man is suppose to “provide” for her.
This here lies the problem: Why are folks so freaking caught up in “rules” and looking to Tiktok and Instagram for “dating advice” when the answer is seriously easy?

I’m going to give you the secret to why all the good women are still single and how a guy screws this up time and time again. Ready for the secret? Okay.

If guys would seriously STOP with their unrealistic view that women have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, y’all wouldn’t be single today. First off, the difference between a woman who acts fake and is real is so easy to tell – too bad most men are illiterate and can’t read. If a woman ONLY cares about how much money you spend on her on a date, where you take her, if you buy her gifts (or don’t) then she is NOT into you for the RIGHT reason. But if a woman enjoys your company, wants to have light conversations with you, doesn’t expect you to pay for EVERYTHING and is her goofy self right off the bat, then that is who she REALLY is and you should EMBRACE that!

The problem with guys is that they want to girl who “needs” them, not the girl who “wants” them and yeah, there is a BIG difference. Men who think it’s there “duty” to take care of her with everything, almost all the time choose the wrong partner while the man who chooses the girl who wants him, supports him and appreciates him is not the girl chosen half the time. Men who treat women as pieces of meat are the guys who are out there that complain about women. Women complain about men and their attitudes and the fact that they think they are the prey and can’t go after a guy or have to be a with a guy who is going to “take care of her” –

Women today don’t need a man to take care of them – we need a man who is going to just be himself, support us, as we support him, cheer him on, as he cheers us on, and just love being with us – period.

I’m so tired of having to pretend to be “needy” and need a hero to save me when in fact I’m my own hero, I can save myself. That shouldn’t be something that a man should be intimidated with, but instead celebrate. At the end of the day, we girls just want to be looked at as real people, not the ones who need the little black dress to seduce you into thinking that we are a fantasy, but that no matter if we are a size 2 or a size 12, have blonde hair or black hair, if we have a big butt or a small one, we are worth it and valued for our character and our personality. Looks fade, but that other shit lasts forever. If you want that woman who is going to love you regardless, and who is going to treat you right, then start focusing on what really matters. I am sure then you will find yourself a girl that a keeper.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Is He or Isn’t He?

There are things that guys do on Instagram that show you up front that they are players and not legit meaning the guys you need to STAY AWAY from. ( Sadly, most of them NOT all of them are athletes, ya know, because they think they are superior to everyone else. )

  1. He won’t follow you on Instagram – This is a classic sign by the way. And the reason being is pretty much simply that he’s hiding a relationship, and wants women to think he is available when he is not. It’s classic because guys who are proud of the woman they have will show her off to their followers. Guys who want to let other guys know – she’s mine; she’s taken. If a guy doesn’t want you to be be his follower on IG, then he is simply hiding something he doesn’t want to see… and to top that off, ANYONE that still has a private account is surely hiding shit.
  2. He is a bikini account troll – He follows EVERY girl that his posing in her bikini, it doesn’t matter if she is a supermodel, an influencer, or the girl that leaves next door to him. He doesn’t want you to see that, hence why he hasn’t followed you nor wants you to follow you. By the way, most quarterbacks/athletes in the NFL do this and when they do it’s a sign that they are the most superficial guys on the planet. Any guy that ONLY focuses on a woman’s looks and that’s it, isn’t a guy you want to date let alone stand next too.
  3. Now, let’s change gears and let me tell guys how to understand if a woman is interested in you and also a word of wise to the ladies out here too! First, to the ladies: if you are interested in a guy it’s OKAY to pay attention to them, it’s OKAY to treat them like you feel a special connection to them because out brains are more psychologically primed to like people who like us. Don’t though only focus on him and him only. The reason being is that when you focus on more than one guy, the guy that is truly attracted to you, will lock you up and not want you to pay so much attention to other guys, Yes, jealously here is what makes guys realize that he wants you and therefore he will invite you to follow him on IG, he will post about you so every guy knows hands off, she’s mine. So guys, if a woman is paying attention to you it’s because she sees the best in you and wants you to connect with you. Again the brain does unconsciously attract others who share similar interests in. Instead of ignoring her and playing the stupid mind games, reciprocate back, have conversations, after all, conversation is the heart and soul of Instagram and social media in general. It’s okay to talk to folks who aren’t in your circle ( circles don’t have corners) – it also widens your horizons when it comes to learning and growing as a person. You never know what you can learn about someone when you take the time to have a conversation with them.