Friends, Benefits, Lovers: The Vicious Cycle

Why does it seem that women use sex as a tool/reward/weapon in relationships to get what they want, in order to get their way while men do just the opposite?

(Some) men use love as bait to get sex from women, while (some) women use sex as bait to get love from men. Go figure, right? And they somehow think that this is a “relationship.” Yes, I have heard the term, “Friends with Benefits,” but I can tell you that just because there is a term, it’s not actually what is happening.

Every “friends with benefits” relationship that I have heard about, has always ended on a sour note. Women process sex through emotions while men process it through the physical aspect. Mostly, they go “through the motions” especially when it’s with someone they are not emotionally connected too. This is where that whole game of giving the other person what he/she wants, never ends up turning into what we planned in the first place.

Look at how some women try to get attention these days and the poor saps that fall for it hook, line and sinker.

You have women who dress sexy to get attention and when you point it out they say something stupid like, “I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to look good,” but they are total hypocrites because they only dress that way when they are purposely trying to get a guy’s attention. Yes, confidence is important if you want to succeed in life. And its important to feel good about one self, but it is necessary to dress or limit what you wear just to get attention? They dress in revealing clothing, then get upset when their objective is met…men/women staring at them. Give me a break! And you see all the selfies on social media with women who are HALF-naked and all the men’s comments underneath it… please STOP.

It gets annoying because some of us actually don’t want to be looked at as a sex object. Some of us females wants to be able to dress nice or wear that mini skirt because its the style, we like the designer or we want to wear it just because.

There’s a BIG difference between classy and trashy that most females today forget.

Then there are the men and athletes who are insecure, hungry for attention, want their egos boosted every chance in hell they get, so they use something that is precious to a female, love, to bait them into giving them what they truly want: sex.

Some men actually think that it’s okay if they use a woman to gain whatever it is from them. So they “fake” the relationship up to the point where you give in to their sexual advances and of a sudden that guy is “history.” GUYS: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!

It’s important for me to note that NOT ALL men and women are this way. But you will always have a case of a girl who is an attention-whore and in that case the guy who falls for her crap. Now, I have used the term “gold-digger” before and I will tell you athletes this: If a woman/girl is dressing in a certain way to get your attention and that is how she gets your attention, that is a red flag. A woman who enjoys your company, who makes you a better person, wants you to be successful, and makes you feel like you are on top of the world, and does not expect you to buy her expensive shit; that woman, is not a gold digger and I bet you met her when she was “clothed” – that’s the difference.

I don’t think its right for anyone, male or female, to lure a person into believing that they like them to the point where they feel there are having a relationship, when in reality they are just using them. Relationships take time and they are hard to find in this world. Where as today, so many people treat others like they’re as disposable as diapers.

So how can you tell when a guy or girl is actually interested in you- for you and not just as part of a conquering list? (Remember how in my last blog post, I told you that NFL players think it’s a flex to be with many girls?)

The easiest answer to that question is this; Every once in awhile, someone comes along that makes you realize-it is worth it. The best relationships happen unexpectedly. We never realize the power of a single human being until one comes along and conquers our heart. When you force yourself to fall in love or be with someone you are setting up yourself to fall and to fall short of the relationship you deserve. A “Friends with benefits’ relationship is telling you that you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to invest feelings in. Real love is knowing someone’s weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

Remember, a good relationship is worth the wait.

Relationship Impossible available now as a paperback and ebook on Amazon.

Say His Name: Cannon Hinnant

I’ve been torn about how to react to news of the killing of the 5 year-old little North Carolina boy that’s making the rounds on social media and NOT the mainstream media. As he rode his bicycle, the perpetrator (his next door neighbor) walked up to him, placed a gun to his head and executed him in broad daylight. Because the child was white and the shooter is black, many are contrasting the news coverage (or lack thereof) and reaction to this killing to the reaction to the death of George Floyd.

Though he was no saint, George Floyd didn’t deserve to die in the fashion that he did. BUT… George Floyd was a 5-time convicted felon. He once held a pregnant woman at gunpoint while she was assaulted, threatening to shoot her in the stomach. He was well-known by the police.  We gave George Floyd four televised funerals, a folded American flag, over 70 days of rioting and millions upon millions of dollars donated to his family. Hollywood held massive protests for George Floyd, including the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL players, paid tribute to this man.

What does this child get?

Where is Lebron James, Malcolm Jenkins, J.J. Watt, Dwayne Wade,  Odell Beckham Jr.  Demarcus Lawrence, Lamar Jackson, Carson Wentz , Derek Carr, and others? Did these athletes tweet or post that they’re “heartbroken”  at the news of Cannon Hinnant’s execution death?  Did Black Lives Matter even condemn the actions of Darrius Sessoms? Of course not!  Why do you think the mainstream media never covered it?  It’s not the agenda. We all know that if the colors were reversed, we would never hear the end of it. But because the color of skin is what they are, most people will never know that this heartless crime took place. The way the media is manipulating us is to purposely to divide us.

This child was sinless. He saw no color. He’d committed no crime. I can imagine him smiling at the approach of a neighbor, who he’d likely seen before, never suspecting that he was about to be harmed, much less have his brains splattered on his own lawn. There will be no protests, no riots, no cries for justice. Young black men won’t be targeted and killed in retaliation, as many police officers have been. Hollywood celebrities won’t provide him with a golden casket or fund multiple funerals in cities across America that will be televised and broadcast live across social media.  “Black privilege” won’t become a trendy phrase and this child’s name won’t trend on Twitter. Tens of millions of dollars won’t be raised to support the battle against systemic child brutality and abuse, and “CHILDREN’S LIVES MATTER” will never be painted on Broadway in New York and have justice for Cannon billboards put up all over the town thanks to Oprah.

Black Lives Matter doesn’t care about the gun violence happening in Chicago and New York. Black Lives Matter doesn’t help the black kids in the ghettos and doesn’t try to help those kids stay out of drugs and gangs.  It’s a group that only shows up when a white cop ( who really never should have been allowed to stay a cop) kills a black man.  And the fact that every Sports League; NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL paid “homage” to George Floyd and Black Lives Matter is a joke.  These leagues don’t have backbones, instead they want to appease their players.  These players don’t understand that the reason we should stand for the national anthem is to honor all those lives that we lost on 9/11.  Those innocent people were all of different colors, religions, backgrounds, yet we HONOR them simply because it happened on our soil.

Holding a sign,  wearing a T-shirt, chanting a song, taking a knee, or going on your soap box  ( Twitter and Instagram)  isn’t going to change a damn thing!  It’s the actions that will finally make a difference.  Getting your hands dirty to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

I believe that we are all created in God’s image. I believe that an evil, wicked hatred is spreading in our nation like a cancer.  My heart breaks over the division we are seeing.  People have become so jaded.  They look at everything that happens and have to “add” color to it.  They look at everything that happens and have to blame someone for it.  Instead of showing compassion and kindness towards everyone.  That is the one thing I remember from 9/11- the kindness that everyone showed each other afterwards.  We cared about one another. Not because of skin color, but because we all bleed red.

I pray daily for our nation and everyone in it.

His name was Cannon Hinnant. He wasn’t racist. He wasn’t violent. He wasn’t a criminal. He was an innocent five year old boy.

When you honor a black man who was a criminal just because he was killed by a cop- you aren’t changing the narrative, you are continuing the narrative.

 

 

Change Takes More Than Just Voicing Your Opinion

See here is part of the problem: people create MORE HATE using Social Media. If you want change it starts with YOU. Not everyone is going to run to agree with you at first. That’s okay. Eventually some will. But change starts from not allowing YOURSELF to promote hate which lately social media has been doing more of-  we cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence. If we substituted our view for insight and understanding. Think how much better this world would be. #ThinkBeforeYouPost
To answer those wh
it’s not a platform to “ speak the truth” it is a platform that is supSee here – part of the problem- creating MORE HATE using Social Media. If you want change it starts with YOU. Not everyone is going to run to agree with you at first. That’s okay. Eventually some will. But change starts from not allowing YOURSELF to promote hate which this post does. So what happens to the people who don’t agree with the protest and others “take it in their own hands” and harm them because you were so “brave ” to call them out? Who is held accountable? We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence. If we substituted our view for insight and understanding. Think how much better this world would be. #ThinkBeforeYouPost

To answer those who keep telling me that social media is a platform to “speak the truth,” I have this to say: No it’s not a platform to “ speak the truth” it is a platform that is supposed to BUILD UP the community not call people out who don’t agree with you! Calling people out because they don’t agree with you is hypocrisy.  You want unity. You want peace. Yet, there you are on social media calling those people out because they don’t agree with you- and looking very ignorant and hateful while doing it.  Showing more people hate by calling them out on a platform that is supposed to be about building up a community does the opposite.

Seeing all the NFL players and some athletes who are in the NBA and NHL come out this week and “voice” their opinions and then go after others who share a different view.  Can someone tell me, how does that help things and how does that change things?  And most of these athletes NEVER EVER do ANYTHING to change the narrative that they so “eloquently” tweet or post on Instagram about- it’s just words. ( BUT there have been a few professional athletes who have physically STEPPED UP- Dak Prescott, PK Subban, K’Andre Miller, Patrick Kane,  3 hockey players- 1 football player)

This is not the first time we have been here with a cop who should have NEVER been a cop killing someone in custody. But because everyone does the SAME thing after this happens, we all end up in the same pattern.  You can listen what I mean here: Click Link  You can also watch me talk about what I mean here: Click Link

If you want to know what’s wrong with our society look no further then Chrissy Tiigen, Steve Carell, Seth Rogen wanting to bail out those who burned down a city, destroyed businesses that had nothing to do with Floyd. This doesn’t honor him. This makes his death now in vain. What does stealing a flat screen from Target help with the memory of The man that was murdered? You lost your cause the minute rioting and looting started.

As beautiful as this sentiment, ” We need to rid the world of racism” is,  sadly it’s unrealistic. Love is real. Hate is real. Both are human emotions. Both exist. You can’t force people to only feel one emotion and think one way. We would not be a free society if we did things that way. BUT…. It’s how you take the negative emotion and change YOUR life- point the thumb first to YOU before you point the finger not to others. Change takes works. Change starts with you.  We can make a difference if we finally get out of the same pattern we are in ( click the links to get an understanding of what pattern I am talking about) and we look at people for who they are on the inside not for what they look like on the outside. ( This also goes for fat shaming, calling people ugly,  focusing on a woman’s looks more than her heart, and judging the worth of somebody’s appearance just from looking at their social media posts.)

It should NEVER matter what a person looks like – because in the end we all have the same organs and we all bleed red.  It’s not okay to judge ALL people based on 1 person. Like in any profession, there are bad cops, bad teachers and bad doctors. They do not define everyone. United we stand, divided we fall. 

REMINDER: Virtually every single American condemned the murder of #GeorgeFloyd and did so immediately. Every color and all sides of the political spectrum. American cities are burning over something we all agree with. Now marinate on that.

 

Corona Virus 101: What The Media Isn’t Telling You

( ALL RESEARCHED!!)

Human coronavirus is a common, enveloped, positive-sense RNA virus, with most people contracting it during their lifetime. Coronaviruses cause mild to moderate upper-respiratory tract illnesses. There are six currently known strains of coronaviruses that infect humans. The most common infection globally is from human coronaviruses 229E, NL63, OC43, and HKU1. The much publicized human coronavirus, SARS-CoV, which causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS, has a unique pathogenesis because it causes both upper and lower respiratory tract infections and can also cause gastroenteritis. The six human coronaviruses are: alpha coronaviruses 229E and NL63, and beta coronaviruses OC43, HKU1, SARS-CoV (SARS), and MERS-CoV (the coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome or MERS).

Human coronaviruses were first identified in the mid-1960s. The seven coronaviruses that can infect people are:

229E (alpha coronavirus)
NL63 (alpha coronavirus)
OC43 (beta coronavirus)
HKU1 (beta coronavirus)

MERS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome, or MERS)
SARS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS)
SARS-CoV-2 (the novel coronavirus that causes coronavirus disease 2019, or COVID-19)

People around the world commonly get infected with human coronaviruses 229E, NL63, OC43, and HKU1.

Sometimes coronaviruses that infect animals can evolve and make people sick and become a new human coronavirus. Three recent examples of this are 2019-nCoV, SARS-CoV, and MERS-CoV.

Coronaviruses are a large group of viruses that cause diseases in animals and humans. They often circulate among camels, cats, and bats, and can sometimes evolve and infect people.

In animals, coronaviruses can cause diarrhea in cows and pigs, and upper respiratory disease in chickens. In humans, the viruses can cause mild respiratory infections, like the common cold, but can lead to serious illnesses, like pneumonia.

Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) was first reported in 2012 in Saudi Arabia and spread to more than 25 other countries. MERS originated in camels and emerged to infect people. Symptoms usually include fever, cough, and shortness of breath, and often progress to pneumonia. About 3 or 4 out of every 10 patients reported with MERS have died. MERS cases continue to occur, primarily in the Arabian Peninsula; however, as of 2019, there have been only two confirmed cases of MERS in the US, both in 2014.

Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) originated in small mammal and emerged to infect people. SARS was first reported in Southern China in 2002 and the illness spread to more than two dozen countries in North America, South America, Europe, and Asia. Symptoms include fever, chills, and body aches, and may progress to pneumonia. Infection with the SARS virus causes acute respiratory distress (severe breathing difficulty), with a mortality rate of about 10 percent. No human cases of SARS have been reported anywhere in the world since 2004.

Both seasonal flu viruses (which include influenza A and influenza B viruses) and COVID-19 are contagious viruses that cause respiratory illness. Typical flu symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, muscle aches, headaches, runny or stuffy nose, fatigue and, sometimes, vomiting and diarrhea, according to the CDC. Flu symptoms often come on suddenly. Most people who get the flu will recover in less than two weeks. But in some people, the flu causes complications, including pneumonia.
In general, studies of hospitalized patients have found that about 83% to 98% of patients develop a fever, 76% to 82% develop a dry cough and 11% to 44% develop fatigue or muscle aches, according to a review study on COVID-19 published Feb. 28 in the journal JAMA. Other symptoms, including headache, sore throat, abdominal pain, and diarrhea, have been reported, but are less common. Critical cases are those who have underlying health conditions. #Flu #Corona

So  now doctor’s offices are asking parents not to bring in their sick kid into the doctor’s office. I get it IF they traveled to the affected areas BUT if a kid has a cough and fever but didn’t travel, then the doctor will see them in the office? What about before this coronavirus – they saw kids with coughs and fevers- and they never got this upset over it before!
This virus isn’t new- Corona has many other strains- the flu kills more and that sadly includes kids. They had patients in waiting rooms with the flu!

This whole thing is blown out of proportion 🤦‍♀️ ( BTW: over 500,000 in Europe and Asia)  are now better from the virus. You just don’t hear that from the media at all!

Now the NHL, MLB, NBA are not granting beat writers locker room access.  Heaven Forbid you want to high five or fist bump a player- oh no, you can’t now because of the damn corona! But you can take a picture with them and sit or stand really, really, close to them instead! #Sarcasm

They are thinking of having games with fans.   People are not taking trips, don’t want to be at events or even BNI, because This entire thing is out of proportion and by everyone doing these things – adds to the PANIC that is it causing. This IS NOT using common sense. Especially since the death toll in the States is only at 26. The Death toll to date on the flu in the US: 14,000 and that included 100 kids.

The chance of catching Corona is almost zero. Whereas you have a 5% to 20% of catching the flu.  Stop posting places to buy toilet paper, wipes, sanitizer, disinfectant spray, hand soap, etc.  Stop adding to the freaking panic!
Wash your hands.
Wipe down devices.
Wipe down doorknobs.
Cough and Sneeze in your elbow.
Throw out used tissues.
Stay home if you are sick.
All these things that you can to do by using common sense. That’s what we should be preaching- not preaching panic!