Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

I told you, too bad you didn’t listen

If you read my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed,” I warned you that dating apps were all hoaxes designed to use your heart strings to make money. And this week we learn that Match Group, the owner of Tinder, Hinge, and the League, aren’t designed to help users find love, but rather, to empty their pockets and that they are a far cry from being, “designed to be deleted,” which is Hinge’s slogan.
In the lawsuit we find that the six plaintiffs accuse the dating apps, Hinge, that the algorithm predicts a user will find most attractive are locked up in “rose jail’–where daters are required to send these profiles a rose, rather than a regular like, of which they only get one per week–and TikTokers offering dissatisfied swipers “hacks” to get around such an obstacle.

Also on other dating apps, such as Tinder, essentially, the app used an Elo rating system, which is the same method used to calculate the skill levels of chess players: You rose in the ranks based on how many people swiped right on (“liked”) you, but that was weighted based on who the swiper was. The more right swipes that person had, the more their right swipe on you meant for your score.

The League, is as snobby as it sounds…
The app encourages you to choose high-quality photos of you smiling and doing things that interest you, like hiking or going to dinner with friends, rather than posting tons of party photos or selfies in bad lighting. They want you to show off and send the message that you’re cool and attractive. You have to link the app to your LinkedIn and other social media. By doing so, The League automatically inputs your education and career to your profile, so everyone can see how smart and accomplished you are. The app tracks how often you log in, if you respond to people’s messages, how picky you are, if you’re nice to your concierge and other activity. Your matches can also flag your profile and report you if you’re “flaky” or rude through messages or on a date.

THE KICKER: You only get three matches per day (though you can pay to see more prospects). Once you match, you have 21 days to chat before the match and your chat expires. While an expired chat history is still viewable, you won’t be able to engage with that person anymore. The membership is EXTREMELY expensive for a few more “exclusives” that are nothing of measure to even note.

Hinge, makes money through in-app purchases and advertisements. Most of Hinge’s revenue comes from in-app purchases such as boosts, roses, and premium subscriptions. These purchases unlock features on the app to make it easier and more convenient. Another way that Hinge makes money is through advertisements. Whereas the free version lets you “like” up to 8 profiles per day, and if someone’s like you back, it’s a “match.” From there, you send each other unlimited messages and even do video calls.

Remember, there are many studies that suggest that couples who meet using dating apps are slightly more likely to have less satisfying and less stable marriages than couples who meet offline.

As I have said from the beginning, dating apps are great for finding short-term romances, but they’re not conducive to building sustainable relationships. Dating apps don’t work because they are designed to be fast, easy and casual. They’re not good for getting to know someone well and building a strong foundation for a future relationship. Too bad, most don’t listen to me.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Theory On Men

Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy.  It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.

Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.

There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.

Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!

In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

So, Are you feeling Lucky today?

I’m the type of gal who LOVES shopping at Target. Yes, folks, I am addicted to shopping at Target. (Seriously, what gal isn’t though?) But I had no freaking idea that Target was now selling vibrators made from Trojan called “the Bullet.”

So, first you can get a sweatshirt with the words “Lucky” which you will see right as you walk in to the store. Then if you go down the “family planning/women’s isle” you can find one of these charming devices to really get “lucky,” but in a completely different way. Now, if you read my book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd ed,” you know that I am open to talking about sex and sex topics, so if you’re thinking that I am going “prude” while writing this, think again.
Back in the day these type of self pleasuring toys were only sold in stores like, Romantic Depot, not casual stores like Target where young kids can see it. Seriously, it is not for kids to see, I don’t care how into sex you are, and yes I know that kids in elementary school know about sex, I ain’t stupid, but still… this type of thing should be out of their view.
I remember learning about the “birds and the bees” when I was in 6th grade. The boys went into one classroom and the girls went into another. Then of course the boys had a field day with it at lunch, on the playground, and every day after that. It was kind of amusing thinking about it now. But in today’s world, 2022, kids are learning the wrong things about sex and from social media no less. Music, movies and TV still are ways where they can see it, but in today’s world, sex is spoken about, shown not as a whisper, but right out there online.

Yes, remember sex sells. But are we as a society, too open about sex?

It’s toxic to tell young kids casual sex is something to aspire to. Think about the responsibilities that come with having sex. First of course, protection. Which today though is not focused on at all since we live is dating app hell and no where do you see folks preaching about safe sex anymore. Sex isn’t something to just jump
into, even though we probably all are guilty of having a fling, its something you need to make sure doesn’t define your relationship. As we see as of late, that guys, and mostly athletes like to jump from woman to woman because according to them, “they have needs.” I will say that fairy-tales and romance movies have ruined a woman’s reality on what true love really is and how to achieve it while porn has ruined a man’s perception on what sex is and isn’t.

People always ask me for advice of just about everything and sex is one of the topics they ask. (No, I’m not a professional but I do play one on TV.) My sassy response to talking about sex and men is usually, I’m not against half naked men. At least not as often as I’d like to be. But seriously, I give it to you straight.

Every 39 minutes a porn video is being created in the US. 89% of porn is created in the US and 35% of all Internet downloads are porn related. Remember, When the VCR made it possible for everyone to watch porn in the privacy of their own home, the industry exploded. Now with the Internet, (Only Fans and even social media) it is out of control!
Not only is porn one of the top selling industries, but also adult toy and sex accessories are a growing second. Which takes me back to talk about about this vibrator I found in Target the other day. First off, it’s remote control. How lazy does one need to be using this thing? They include the batteries for you ( How nice of them!) There are 4 speeds: low, medium, high and ultra. Seriously, if you can’t orgasm to medium or high, then you may want to see someone about that. Trojan markets this as “Perfect for partner play, be in control or let your partner play with you for double the fun!” No offense Trojan, but if a woman had a man to “play with” she is NOT going to need a vibrator – unless her partner sucks in bed.

No guy, I don’t care who he is, deep down does not want a girl that has been with every guy in town. You want to be the girl everyone WANTS, not the girl that everyone HAD. Sex may be easier to get, but love is harder to find. Everyone deserves someone in their life that can leave them breathless just by walking into the room. When you find someone who can open your soul to happiness and show you new ways of love, sex will not just be a motion, but it will be the emotion you will truly desire.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Hype that once was for online dating, is simply over

In the beginning when online dating first emerged in 1995, with the world’s first online dating website was launched in the form of Match.com everyone was excited. The nights of trolling bars, clubs, and every other place in between was “officially” over!

Then came dating apps, and more apps, apps for athletes, professional careers, older people, Ivy league, etc. You name it, there is a dating app for a certain niche of people.

Various studies indicate that men, more so than women, search for youth and physical attractiveness in their potential mates. On dating sites, men are more likely to display their resources, athleticism, and strength, while women are more likely to alter their physical appearances through clothing or the use of makeup.

These differences also manifest in the ways men and women deceive each other. When attempting to impress potential mates, men are more likely to try to deceive women about their levels of dominance (i.e., masculinity) and resources (i.e., income, career expectations), while women are more likely to try to deceive men about their physical appearances.
Keep all this in mind as we talk about how this is just the start of a down fall with dating online and apps.

Men deceive women about relationships and use dating apps as an easy place for a hook up. A student overseas was told by Tinder that she swiped right over 100k. She complained that people online were only looking for a ‘quick hook up’ and her dates from Tinder didn’t last longer than two meetups. She has since abandoned online dating, saying meeting people in person ‘works 100 times better’ and is 11 months into a happy relationship with her boyfriend, who she met offline. She complained that on Tinder most men were just interested in casual sex and weren’t looking for a genuine connection. The 21 year old student even had to un-match potential suitors for sending her ‘creepy’ messages, which is basically the story of EVERY woman on a dating app.

Now there is a new study has found that married couples who met on dating apps have a higher chance of getting a divorce. (Only what I have been telling you and readers since 2011) The study conducted by the Marriage Foundation and assembled by the UK-based polling company Savanta ComRes, researchers polled over 2,000 adults who were at least 30 years old and married at least once in their lives, found that 12% of couples who found their significant other online got divorced within the first three years of marriage — compared to only 2% of lovers who met offline. After seven years of marriage, the likelihood of divorce for a couple who met through an app shot to 17%, compared to 10% of those who met through pals. The research also found that 8% of couples who linked up in school and 7% of spouses who met at work divorced within the first three years.

Now, if you meet a stranger on a social media app, don’t knock it. Well, at first. Social media is a great tool to meet interesting people and create relationships, but you must be smart about it. Know when someone has a fake account compared to a real account. Here are the RED FLAGS for fake accounts on Instagram:

1) Profile picture- lack of one or one that looks too professional/ photo shopped. 2) Private account 3) MANY followers and following thousands, but have NO Posts. 4) Have posts, but they are recent and not posted correctly ( just photos on Instagram, no copy) 5) They message you from another account to get to you follow the main account 6) The bio and the comments are generic 7) they ask for your phone number or personal information immediately – this is true of a SCAMMER. 8) They won’t Facetime you at all. ( They can still be fake and Facetime you – so take note of the conversation you are having. IF you keep asking to meet up and they keep saying no and have excuses- fake.

If you know WHO the person IS on line, it is always better to get to know that person verses a complete stranger, just be smart about it. ( An athlete is a good example of this- although athletes are known to have what are called burner accounts (fake accounts) to spy on what fans think about them and what the media is saying about them without the person’s knowledge.)

TOP places to MEET people:

  1. Coffee Shops
  2. Gyms
  3. Dog Parks
  4. Volunteering
  5. Sports leagues
  6. Airports
  7. Bars
  8. College Campuses
  9. Parties
  10. Grocery Store

*** The Bonus Coverage of Relationship Impossible will be a 2 part bonus. Part 1 will be in a podcast form – you can subscribe here CLICK HERE or you can purchase the journal which will be Part 2. (coming soon!)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Breaking: Relationship Impossible

My book, ” Relationship Impossible,” the most anticipated book of the summer, was officially released on Amazon as an eBook June 5th.

You Can Purchase it HERE

In the meantime, you can listen to a podcast reading of the book here: CLICK

There will be a contest coming up soon and also a giveaway of the book AND my coffee brand that I am launching soon!

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Good Girls, Bad Boys, Nice Guys, to Bad Girls

Here is part 2 of the preview “Relationship Impossible”

Some guys have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.

I’m not saying that guys should just ‘settle” but they aren’t going to be happy if every time they discover a flaw in someone, they go to somebody else because every woman has her own flaws; no body is perfect. (And vice versa) Find that someone who makes you better, without trying to change who you are

Now before guys get their pants in a bunch, to be fair, I have seen guys do just this; they find a woman who is a down to Earth, “good woman” and then they find a flaw in her like, “Not pretty enough” or “too strong minded,” so this way they avoid commitment because to them the “bad girls” are more attractive than the “good ones.”

This is the reason that guys are hitting on girls on social media at a high rate and hooking up with girls left, center, and right on dating apps. They want the one and done relationships instead of the ones where they have to commit to one girl and “build a relationship” with her. That takes time, energy, effort and work.

Men find bad sexy because the things they plan on doing to bad women are likewise “naughty.” Bad is naughty and naughty is sexy. Good, on the other hand, sounds boring. Their definition of sexy is misinterpreted. And then of course, these same guys think that “bad girls” are better in bed than “good girls” which has been proven to be a myth. The “bad girl” that men are so taken by at times isn’t someone who is morally corrupt, but the challenge that a bad girl poses. One of the factors that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most ‘bad girls’ ride big on the persona they create. Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their true character online.

For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level – and that is why guys have to “test the road” with bad girls first before they settle down with a “good girl.”

Then there is the saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of bravery by being patient and understanding. He’s not really being nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoor and windows to enter your kingdom. There are also those guys that fall into this category:

The too afraid to ask you out “nice guy” who will pass himself “ just a friend” in hopes that you will one day see how great he is, therefore, being the one who asks him out. Then he romances the hell out out of you in hopes that he no longer will be in the “friend zone” but moved to the “boyfriend zone.”

Of course the guy stuck in the friend zone will be thinking that the girl he has the hots for only wants to be with a, “bad boy.” You know the type: The “bad boys” that some women are attracted to are usually nothing more than punks, thugs, and assholes who believe that society’s rules do not apply to them. They are someone who do dangerously interesting stuff that differ from the so called boring everyday of expected routine behavior of other men.

If we say that “bad boys” are not outright criminals, but abusive, arrogant, manipulative men. Well, such men don’t usually show this side of their personality to a woman they want to attract. They are predators, their purpose is to attract potential “prey”, not to scare it off. Abusers and manipulators don’t appear as such until the “prey” has fallen into the trap. So, we cannot say that women are attracted to the abusers or manipulators as such. Women are attracted to the personality they want to show. The issue is actually that abusers and manipulators find it easier to appear confident and comfortable in their skin. On one hand, because they can play any role they want and usually have a lot of practice doing it. On the other hand, because they really don’t care about other people, they don’t really care if they succeed with one particular woman or not. They just move to the next target.

The majority of women are not attracted to “bad boys” because they are “bad”, but because it is easier for such men to make initial contact and take it from there. “Bad boy” romances, being more forbidden/against norm/full of regret stories/full of drama/etc, are simply better topics for gossip than a nice, normal, quiet, healthy romance- think about all the movies, TV shows, and books you have read and tell me which types people prefer. Of course, when you turn on Hallmark Channel, the girl always gets the boy she wants and the bad boy turns good at the end, which in reality is usually never the case.

Good girls, bad boys, nice guys, to bad girls, there is always going to be stereotypes of how people behave when it comes to sex, romance and relationships.

What it should always come down to is finding the right partner. One of the ways to do that is to find someone you can talk to. Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. You might disagree at times, but by being able to be open and honest with each other, leads you to fulfill what you want out of the relationship. When you make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, the rest starts to fall into place. ( Part 3 coming soon…. )

You can purchase my best-selling book which was also nominated for Book of the Year, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid, 2nd Ed”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Blog Series: Book Preview of Relationship Impossible

Introduction: Where we left off in Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?

When I set out to write, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid,” I had no idea that it would hit a lot of nerves with people, on both sides of the argument, in the matter of online dating. Not only did it hit a lot of nerves for those who “believe” in online dating, but I had many questions left to answer. Let’s dive right in to what was discussed:

I talked about social media and relationships, when I mentioned the following:

“Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!”

Before social media came to be, our personal and professional relationships were separated by office walls. Now, through the use of social media, they aren’t. I discussed how social media has effected our lives, for the good and for the bad. That then took us into the discussion on online dating and dating apps.

Misrepresenting yourself on a dating site or app is as easy as a click here and a click there.

See, when you meet someone either at a party or at a bar, you see the person for who the person is ( look wise – no chance to use a fake picture ) and for the most part, they aren’t going to “make up a name” like they can and some do online. You can then actually get their name and do a background check on them yourself. With these dating sites, it’s hard to know if they are being truthful as to who they really are. Another thing that you can decipher in person that you really cannot evaluate online is another person’s sense of humor and connection. Reading a profile just isn’t going to cut it. They can “say” they are the funniest thing around since Seinfeld, but saying it online and actually being funny in person are two different things. And some of the services the websites offer might backfire, causing users to overlook people they might be happy with while choosing people they really don’t “match” up well with due to their answers and how they set up their profiles. At a party you may have two people to choose from, where as on the Internet dating sites, you have hundreds, thousands of different suitors to look over. I also broke the dating code, so to speak, by telling you how each site that “claimed” they had a scientific way of “matching” folks to the “correct” partner worked.

I then got into the conversation on what every site has failed to recognize is that there really is no way to successfully predict that a relationship will last, especially when the most crucial information is not collected:

A) Individual Characteristics of each partner which include personalities, attitudes and if each partner is relatively stable.

B) Quality of interactions – This can only be measured in person, not online. This includes how well the couple will communicate and also support each other.

C) Unforeseen Circumstances – This includes stress, financial problems, cultures, family issues, etc.

With this said, users beware that the only ultimate way to know if a relationship is going to last, is actual face-to-face interaction.

This then went into the stories about scams, lies, and the studies that show that online dating/ dating apps do not work the way they are intended to work, and I list those sites.

I also gave folks a little reminder, “ Your future partner is not a link on a website, he or she is a human being.”

Not only did I talk about the reasons why no one should be using these sites, I even gave you tips if you do want to try these sites. (What can I say, I care.)

I gave tips on how to win an ex back, even though I am totally against going back with an ex for this reason alone: They are called an “ex” for a reason. Now, I am all for second chances, but you need to be extremely sure and confident that the relationship with your ex is worth it.

Also on the table of discussion, was if you are a guy who is looking for a relationship, I gave tips directly from the mouths of single women everywhere. I can tell you all that the first thing that bothers single women is the fact that men today have forgotten about chivalry.

Of course I had advice for women too when I said:

“I can’t make people value me. All I can do is show them who I am, what I feel, and what I believe in. It’s up to them to realize my worth. And what every woman needs to learn is the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Let the universe know this by the way you treat yourself.”

My favorite chapter, and everyone’s favorite chapter was 10 where I used some of my past relationships as lessons for what NOT to do. One of our best learning tools is looking back at our mistakes.

Each relationship has made me into who I am today. There is no way around that. I have not only grown as a person, but I have grown thicker skin, have taken more risks, and learned that life is short. Here are the lessons from that chapter that I wanted to pass along to all of you:

THE KEYS OF WHAT NOT TO DO:

a- Never judge anyone without getting to know them yourself.

b- Just because your boyfriend breaks up with you, doesn’t mean that you need to date someone else right away to replace him. Learn to be alone and recover first, then date later.

c- You don’t need to use your sexuality as a way to gain attention. Use it as a powerful tool to boost yourself confidence instead.

d- Never judge a book by its cover. Just because he looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model ( and is one) does not mean that his personality is as “hot”

e-Don’t give a guy that many chances. The truth is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Period.

f- If someone shows you their true colors, don’t try and paint a different picture.

g- Finally, don’t take a person you meet online at face value. It’s easy for them to lie about who they are and if they are really using you in their little game. Google them. Find out if they are hiding anything. Always LISTEN to your instincts. When someone is using you, playing you, or things aren’t adding up, your instincts will never lie to you.

To note the 2 relationships I briefly mentioned in the book: The 23 year old and the divorced dad who was in his 40s, those relationships went south. The 23 year old was too scared to turn our relationship into something serious because he literally was afraid of what his friends thought. Yes, guys are that immature and stupid. Also, strong women scare weak men. The 45ish divorced dad proved once and for all that NO ONE should get involved with a soon-to-be divorcee – RED FLAGS were everywhere and eventually were received, noted and dealt with in a timely manner. Both relationships were in separate years too.

Then we pivoted from that to of course talking about some serious topics in the dating world. When you hear the phrase, abusive relationship, usually domestic violence comes to mind, but emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. And the truth is emotional abuse doesn’t just happen to women; it also happens to men and the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.

There are 3 different types of abuse that happen in relationships: 1) Domestic Violence 2) Rape and 3) Dating abuse. These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

Abuse isn’t always obvious.

Here are some red flags that everyone reading this should know and note:

  • Call you names and put you down
  • Call or text you throughout the day to check on you
  • Keep you from friends or family
  • Control your $
  • Threaten to hurt you, himself/herself, your pet or loved one
  • Hit, Kick, Push, Punch, Slap, Pinch, Choke or Bite you
  • Destroy property or throw things
  • Tell you who you can see or what job you can have
  • Tell you how to dress
  • Act overly jealous
  • Withhold medication or health care
  • Make you have sex or do sexual acts that you don’t want to do
  • Threaten to “out” you if you are gay or lesbian
  • Constantly criticize
  • Embarrass you
  • Blame you for everything – including the abusive behavior

What usually happens after this happens the first time is that the victim makes statements like:

“My partner isn’t violent all the time – they love me”

“Things will get better – they didn’t mean it”

“Maybe it’s my fault”

“I’m scared of what will happen if I leave them”

And the abuse continues.

Remember, most relationships start off with each person acting their best and seeing the other with rose-colored glasses. It never starts off on an abusive note.

There were many other topics we discussed in “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” and the feedback from the book was tremendous. Which leads me to writing this follow up book, “Relationship Impossible”

Here is a brief summary of the topics that will be discussed in the book- note that I am not mentioning EVERY topic.

A. How Covid 19 affected dating

B. How Dating apps and sites actually work

C. Social Media’s Shallow Pitfalls

D. Athletes. Social Media, and Dating Apps

E. Myths: sexual myths, Out of My League Myths, etc.

F. The 7 Selfish Traits

G. How The Me Too Movement Changed Dating

H. The most dangerous / safe states for online dating

And much more.

Of course some of the topics that I have blogged about over the years, will be mentioned and some topics are those that trend on social media like the following: TO BE CONTINUED….. ( Oh, just you wait… )

If you would like to read Hello Love Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed, which was nominated for Book of the Year in 2016, click here or click here

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

52% Of Americans Already In Relationships Using Dating Apps While In Quarantine

Yes, you read that title correct.  And people wonder why having a meaningful relationship is so hard these days!  The pandemic has cut many couples off from one another as they are forced to follow the quarantine orders in their states. A new survey finds that singles are now turning to online dating to fill their needs, even if they already have a partner.

42 percent of both single and attached Americans had downloaded a dating app while in quarantine. The big difference however was that more people who already have a significant other are apparently taking their browsing even further.  The survey also found that a third of attached Americans said they’ve reached out to their ex while in isolation even though they already have a partner. While 37 percent of single Americans said they did the same thing.

6 out of 10 people say they are willing to lower their standards and talk to someone outside their “usual type” while in isolation. Two-thirds of people surveyed said  because of social distancing it was making them crave physical intimacy.  Researchers found that 41 percent of attached Americans say they’ve gone on a virtual date during the quarantine.  While Only 27 percent of single people had done the same.

Another interesting thing to note is that a lot of professional hockey players have been using social media a lot more and when interviewed they mention that they have a “girlfriend” when on their platforms such as Instagram, there are no “life signs” of this girlfriend that they speak of.  It also shows you that many folks are using social media such as Instagram and Twitter to “hook up” with others while in quarantine and try to hide their real lives by not posting certain people on their platforms.

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationships In Times Of Social Distancing

As we have been quarantined for awhile now practicing social distance, working from home, and now not being able to be around other people, it got me thinking about relationships in our lives.

There pretty much are four categories:

1- Those that are familiar and make us feel good.

2- Those that bring you adventure and make you question everything.

3- Those that are put on hold.

4- Those that make you crave more.

First and foremost, the relationships that most of us miss are the familiar. Our families, friends, and co-workers. The ones that we spend the most time with during the day, let alone the week. Of course these people are the ones that make us feel good about our lives and make us feel full of life. Whether we have small conversations during the day, hang out at the bar after work or make plans with friends to go to “the game,” we have connections that increase our emotional well being and boost your mood. It’s essential to have those people in your life who you can trust when we face those challenges life can bring and having someone to vent to is also important.

The next type of relationship are the ones that bring us adventure and make you question just about everything in that happens in life. These are needed for an upbeat life- not a dull life. Without these connections and relationships, we would all live a very depressed life. Successful lives grow out of having adventures. The adventure of your life is so important that it demands the best of your attention, and the most of your energies, on a daily basis, so that you can have a well-balanced life. Being adventurous and questioning why things are the way they are, expands and broaden our mind and makes us learn new and unique things which were unknown before.

The bad thing about being stuck in quarantine, are the relationships that were now put on hold. There are some folks that get excited about meeting new people, having new friendships, and even having romantic relationships blossom. In this time of social distancing, we are forced to put some of these new possibilities on hold simply because to build a relationship isn’t something you can do over just with texting, Facetime and social media, it’s something that we have to do physically.

Of course there are relationships that make us crave more. These are a combination of 1-3. The importance of adventure in our life provides a positive attitude in the same way it releases our stress because during the adventure it take us away from our hectic life to a new happy life at least for a short period of time. Some relationships inspire us, shape us, mold us, and make us simply appreciate life more. All of us need love in our lives, even though there might be some people who will deny that.

Where there is love ,there is hope. And when there is hope, then anything is possible. Love doesn’t have an age, a race, a religion, or a gender. Love is something that binds us together. It’s the soul of any relationship.

So, while we sit here and wait for our lives to get back to normal, I hope that when we do, we don’t go back to “normal.” I hope this quarantine and social distancing makes each and every one of us realize how blessed we are to have relationships already in our lives, the chance to grow new relationships, and the possibility to make each moment we get to live, memorable. Maybe we will appreciate each other more. Maybe we will love with less restrictions. Maybe when all is said and done, we will take time to literally, “smell the roses,” while being forced right now to wake up and “smell the coffee.”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

**Sneak Peek**

Here is a quick sneak peek of the follow up to my best seller, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” which I am in the process of putting together now.

First the title:  I will release the name of the title on my IGTV series: Behind the Scenes: The Diary Of A Social Gal

Secondly The Content:  There will be 10 chapters in the book.  Most of them will be about dating apps and online dating.  There also will be a chapter or two about social media dating, which is trending up this year as a place where folks believe they can meet their “special someone” without having to deal with scams, cheaters and those who are looking for hook ups.

Thirdly: I will talk about women issues, give men some advice about pick up lines and how to actually pick a woman up the decent way, and update you on some of the stories I told in the previous book.

Fourth: I will talk about athletes, dating apps and……

It’s going to be an AWESOME book and I can’t wait to share it with all of you!

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