So, Are you feeling Lucky today?

I’m the type of gal who LOVES shopping at Target. Yes, folks, I am addicted to shopping at Target. (Seriously, what gal isn’t though?) But I had no freaking idea that Target was now selling vibrators made from Trojan called “the Bullet.”

So, first you can get a sweatshirt with the words “Lucky” which you will see right as you walk in to the store. Then if you go down the “family planning/women’s isle” you can find one of these charming devices to really get “lucky,” but in a completely different way. Now, if you read my book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd ed,” you know that I am open to talking about sex and sex topics, so if you’re thinking that I am going “prude” while writing this, think again.
Back in the day these type of self pleasuring toys were only sold in stores like, Romantic Depot, not casual stores like Target where young kids can see it. Seriously, it is not for kids to see, I don’t care how into sex you are, and yes I know that kids in elementary school know about sex, I ain’t stupid, but still… this type of thing should be out of their view.
I remember learning about the “birds and the bees” when I was in 6th grade. The boys went into one classroom and the girls went into another. Then of course the boys had a field day with it at lunch, on the playground, and every day after that. It was kind of amusing thinking about it now. But in today’s world, 2022, kids are learning the wrong things about sex and from social media no less. Music, movies and TV still are ways where they can see it, but in today’s world, sex is spoken about, shown not as a whisper, but right out there online.

Yes, remember sex sells. But are we as a society, too open about sex?

It’s toxic to tell young kids casual sex is something to aspire to. Think about the responsibilities that come with having sex. First of course, protection. Which today though is not focused on at all since we live is dating app hell and no where do you see folks preaching about safe sex anymore. Sex isn’t something to just jump
into, even though we probably all are guilty of having a fling, its something you need to make sure doesn’t define your relationship. As we see as of late, that guys, and mostly athletes like to jump from woman to woman because according to them, “they have needs.” I will say that fairy-tales and romance movies have ruined a woman’s reality on what true love really is and how to achieve it while porn has ruined a man’s perception on what sex is and isn’t.

People always ask me for advice of just about everything and sex is one of the topics they ask. (No, I’m not a professional but I do play one on TV.) My sassy response to talking about sex and men is usually, I’m not against half naked men. At least not as often as I’d like to be. But seriously, I give it to you straight.

Every 39 minutes a porn video is being created in the US. 89% of porn is created in the US and 35% of all Internet downloads are porn related. Remember, When the VCR made it possible for everyone to watch porn in the privacy of their own home, the industry exploded. Now with the Internet, (Only Fans and even social media) it is out of control!
Not only is porn one of the top selling industries, but also adult toy and sex accessories are a growing second. Which takes me back to talk about about this vibrator I found in Target the other day. First off, it’s remote control. How lazy does one need to be using this thing? They include the batteries for you ( How nice of them!) There are 4 speeds: low, medium, high and ultra. Seriously, if you can’t orgasm to medium or high, then you may want to see someone about that. Trojan markets this as “Perfect for partner play, be in control or let your partner play with you for double the fun!” No offense Trojan, but if a woman had a man to “play with” she is NOT going to need a vibrator – unless her partner sucks in bed.

No guy, I don’t care who he is, deep down does not want a girl that has been with every guy in town. You want to be the girl everyone WANTS, not the girl that everyone HAD. Sex may be easier to get, but love is harder to find. Everyone deserves someone in their life that can leave them breathless just by walking into the room. When you find someone who can open your soul to happiness and show you new ways of love, sex will not just be a motion, but it will be the emotion you will truly desire.

The Hype that once was for online dating, is simply over

In the beginning when online dating first emerged in 1995, with the world’s first online dating website was launched in the form of Match.com everyone was excited. The nights of trolling bars, clubs, and every other place in between was “officially” over!

Then came dating apps, and more apps, apps for athletes, professional careers, older people, Ivy league, etc. You name it, there is a dating app for a certain niche of people.

Various studies indicate that men, more so than women, search for youth and physical attractiveness in their potential mates. On dating sites, men are more likely to display their resources, athleticism, and strength, while women are more likely to alter their physical appearances through clothing or the use of makeup.

These differences also manifest in the ways men and women deceive each other. When attempting to impress potential mates, men are more likely to try to deceive women about their levels of dominance (i.e., masculinity) and resources (i.e., income, career expectations), while women are more likely to try to deceive men about their physical appearances.
Keep all this in mind as we talk about how this is just the start of a down fall with dating online and apps.

Men deceive women about relationships and use dating apps as an easy place for a hook up. A student overseas was told by Tinder that she swiped right over 100k. She complained that people online were only looking for a ‘quick hook up’ and her dates from Tinder didn’t last longer than two meetups. She has since abandoned online dating, saying meeting people in person ‘works 100 times better’ and is 11 months into a happy relationship with her boyfriend, who she met offline. She complained that on Tinder most men were just interested in casual sex and weren’t looking for a genuine connection. The 21 year old student even had to un-match potential suitors for sending her ‘creepy’ messages, which is basically the story of EVERY woman on a dating app.

Now there is a new study has found that married couples who met on dating apps have a higher chance of getting a divorce. (Only what I have been telling you and readers since 2011) The study conducted by the Marriage Foundation and assembled by the UK-based polling company Savanta ComRes, researchers polled over 2,000 adults who were at least 30 years old and married at least once in their lives, found that 12% of couples who found their significant other online got divorced within the first three years of marriage — compared to only 2% of lovers who met offline. After seven years of marriage, the likelihood of divorce for a couple who met through an app shot to 17%, compared to 10% of those who met through pals. The research also found that 8% of couples who linked up in school and 7% of spouses who met at work divorced within the first three years.

Now, if you meet a stranger on a social media app, don’t knock it. Well, at first. Social media is a great tool to meet interesting people and create relationships, but you must be smart about it. Know when someone has a fake account compared to a real account. Here are the RED FLAGS for fake accounts on Instagram:

1) Profile picture- lack of one or one that looks too professional/ photo shopped. 2) Private account 3) MANY followers and following thousands, but have NO Posts. 4) Have posts, but they are recent and not posted correctly ( just photos on Instagram, no copy) 5) They message you from another account to get to you follow the main account 6) The bio and the comments are generic 7) they ask for your phone number or personal information immediately – this is true of a SCAMMER. 8) They won’t Facetime you at all. ( They can still be fake and Facetime you – so take note of the conversation you are having. IF you keep asking to meet up and they keep saying no and have excuses- fake.

If you know WHO the person IS on line, it is always better to get to know that person verses a complete stranger, just be smart about it. ( An athlete is a good example of this- although athletes are known to have what are called burner accounts (fake accounts) to spy on what fans think about them and what the media is saying about them without the person’s knowledge.)

TOP places to MEET people:

  1. Coffee Shops
  2. Gyms
  3. Dog Parks
  4. Volunteering
  5. Sports leagues
  6. Airports
  7. Bars
  8. College Campuses
  9. Parties
  10. Grocery Store

*** The Bonus Coverage of Relationship Impossible will be a 2 part bonus. Part 1 will be in a podcast form – you can subscribe here CLICK HERE or you can purchase the journal which will be Part 2. (coming soon!)

Breaking: Relationship Impossible

My book, ” Relationship Impossible,” the most anticipated book of the summer, was officially released on Amazon as an eBook June 5th.

You Can Purchase it HERE

In the meantime, you can listen to a podcast reading of the book here: CLICK

There will be a contest coming up soon and also a giveaway of the book AND my coffee brand that I am launching soon!

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

Follow me on TWITTER

Good Girls, Bad Boys, Nice Guys, to Bad Girls

Here is part 2 of the preview “Relationship Impossible”

Some guys have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.

I’m not saying that guys should just ‘settle” but they aren’t going to be happy if every time they discover a flaw in someone, they go to somebody else because every woman has her own flaws; no body is perfect. (And vice versa) Find that someone who makes you better, without trying to change who you are

Now before guys get their pants in a bunch, to be fair, I have seen guys do just this; they find a woman who is a down to Earth, “good woman” and then they find a flaw in her like, “Not pretty enough” or “too strong minded,” so this way they avoid commitment because to them the “bad girls” are more attractive than the “good ones.”

This is the reason that guys are hitting on girls on social media at a high rate and hooking up with girls left, center, and right on dating apps. They want the one and done relationships instead of the ones where they have to commit to one girl and “build a relationship” with her. That takes time, energy, effort and work.

Men find bad sexy because the things they plan on doing to bad women are likewise “naughty.” Bad is naughty and naughty is sexy. Good, on the other hand, sounds boring. Their definition of sexy is misinterpreted. And then of course, these same guys think that “bad girls” are better in bed than “good girls” which has been proven to be a myth. The “bad girl” that men are so taken by at times isn’t someone who is morally corrupt, but the challenge that a bad girl poses. One of the factors that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most ‘bad girls’ ride big on the persona they create. Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their true character online.

For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level – and that is why guys have to “test the road” with bad girls first before they settle down with a “good girl.”

Then there is the saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of bravery by being patient and understanding. He’s not really being nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoor and windows to enter your kingdom. There are also those guys that fall into this category:

The too afraid to ask you out “nice guy” who will pass himself “ just a friend” in hopes that you will one day see how great he is, therefore, being the one who asks him out. Then he romances the hell out out of you in hopes that he no longer will be in the “friend zone” but moved to the “boyfriend zone.”

Of course the guy stuck in the friend zone will be thinking that the girl he has the hots for only wants to be with a, “bad boy.” You know the type: The “bad boys” that some women are attracted to are usually nothing more than punks, thugs, and assholes who believe that society’s rules do not apply to them. They are someone who do dangerously interesting stuff that differ from the so called boring everyday of expected routine behavior of other men.

If we say that “bad boys” are not outright criminals, but abusive, arrogant, manipulative men. Well, such men don’t usually show this side of their personality to a woman they want to attract. They are predators, their purpose is to attract potential “prey”, not to scare it off. Abusers and manipulators don’t appear as such until the “prey” has fallen into the trap. So, we cannot say that women are attracted to the abusers or manipulators as such. Women are attracted to the personality they want to show. The issue is actually that abusers and manipulators find it easier to appear confident and comfortable in their skin. On one hand, because they can play any role they want and usually have a lot of practice doing it. On the other hand, because they really don’t care about other people, they don’t really care if they succeed with one particular woman or not. They just move to the next target.

The majority of women are not attracted to “bad boys” because they are “bad”, but because it is easier for such men to make initial contact and take it from there. “Bad boy” romances, being more forbidden/against norm/full of regret stories/full of drama/etc, are simply better topics for gossip than a nice, normal, quiet, healthy romance- think about all the movies, TV shows, and books you have read and tell me which types people prefer. Of course, when you turn on Hallmark Channel, the girl always gets the boy she wants and the bad boy turns good at the end, which in reality is usually never the case.

Good girls, bad boys, nice guys, to bad girls, there is always going to be stereotypes of how people behave when it comes to sex, romance and relationships.

What it should always come down to is finding the right partner. One of the ways to do that is to find someone you can talk to. Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. You might disagree at times, but by being able to be open and honest with each other, leads you to fulfill what you want out of the relationship. When you make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, the rest starts to fall into place. ( Part 3 coming soon…. )

You can purchase my best-selling book which was also nominated for Book of the Year, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid, 2nd Ed”

The Blog Series: Book Preview of Relationship Impossible

Introduction: Where we left off in Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?

When I set out to write, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid,” I had no idea that it would hit a lot of nerves with people, on both sides of the argument, in the matter of online dating. Not only did it hit a lot of nerves for those who “believe” in online dating, but I had many questions left to answer. Let’s dive right in to what was discussed:

I talked about social media and relationships, when I mentioned the following:

“Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!”

Before social media came to be, our personal and professional relationships were separated by office walls. Now, through the use of social media, they aren’t. I discussed how social media has effected our lives, for the good and for the bad. That then took us into the discussion on online dating and dating apps.

Misrepresenting yourself on a dating site or app is as easy as a click here and a click there.

See, when you meet someone either at a party or at a bar, you see the person for who the person is ( look wise – no chance to use a fake picture ) and for the most part, they aren’t going to “make up a name” like they can and some do online. You can then actually get their name and do a background check on them yourself. With these dating sites, it’s hard to know if they are being truthful as to who they really are. Another thing that you can decipher in person that you really cannot evaluate online is another person’s sense of humor and connection. Reading a profile just isn’t going to cut it. They can “say” they are the funniest thing around since Seinfeld, but saying it online and actually being funny in person are two different things. And some of the services the websites offer might backfire, causing users to overlook people they might be happy with while choosing people they really don’t “match” up well with due to their answers and how they set up their profiles. At a party you may have two people to choose from, where as on the Internet dating sites, you have hundreds, thousands of different suitors to look over. I also broke the dating code, so to speak, by telling you how each site that “claimed” they had a scientific way of “matching” folks to the “correct” partner worked.

I then got into the conversation on what every site has failed to recognize is that there really is no way to successfully predict that a relationship will last, especially when the most crucial information is not collected:

A) Individual Characteristics of each partner which include personalities, attitudes and if each partner is relatively stable.

B) Quality of interactions – This can only be measured in person, not online. This includes how well the couple will communicate and also support each other.

C) Unforeseen Circumstances – This includes stress, financial problems, cultures, family issues, etc.

With this said, users beware that the only ultimate way to know if a relationship is going to last, is actual face-to-face interaction.

This then went into the stories about scams, lies, and the studies that show that online dating/ dating apps do not work the way they are intended to work, and I list those sites.

I also gave folks a little reminder, “ Your future partner is not a link on a website, he or she is a human being.”

Not only did I talk about the reasons why no one should be using these sites, I even gave you tips if you do want to try these sites. (What can I say, I care.)

I gave tips on how to win an ex back, even though I am totally against going back with an ex for this reason alone: They are called an “ex” for a reason. Now, I am all for second chances, but you need to be extremely sure and confident that the relationship with your ex is worth it.

Also on the table of discussion, was if you are a guy who is looking for a relationship, I gave tips directly from the mouths of single women everywhere. I can tell you all that the first thing that bothers single women is the fact that men today have forgotten about chivalry.

Of course I had advice for women too when I said:

“I can’t make people value me. All I can do is show them who I am, what I feel, and what I believe in. It’s up to them to realize my worth. And what every woman needs to learn is the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Let the universe know this by the way you treat yourself.”

My favorite chapter, and everyone’s favorite chapter was 10 where I used some of my past relationships as lessons for what NOT to do. One of our best learning tools is looking back at our mistakes.

Each relationship has made me into who I am today. There is no way around that. I have not only grown as a person, but I have grown thicker skin, have taken more risks, and learned that life is short. Here are the lessons from that chapter that I wanted to pass along to all of you:

THE KEYS OF WHAT NOT TO DO:

a- Never judge anyone without getting to know them yourself.

b- Just because your boyfriend breaks up with you, doesn’t mean that you need to date someone else right away to replace him. Learn to be alone and recover first, then date later.

c- You don’t need to use your sexuality as a way to gain attention. Use it as a powerful tool to boost yourself confidence instead.

d- Never judge a book by its cover. Just because he looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model ( and is one) does not mean that his personality is as “hot”

e-Don’t give a guy that many chances. The truth is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Period.

f- If someone shows you their true colors, don’t try and paint a different picture.

g- Finally, don’t take a person you meet online at face value. It’s easy for them to lie about who they are and if they are really using you in their little game. Google them. Find out if they are hiding anything. Always LISTEN to your instincts. When someone is using you, playing you, or things aren’t adding up, your instincts will never lie to you.

To note the 2 relationships I briefly mentioned in the book: The 23 year old and the divorced dad who was in his 40s, those relationships went south. The 23 year old was too scared to turn our relationship into something serious because he literally was afraid of what his friends thought. Yes, guys are that immature and stupid. Also, strong women scare weak men. The 45ish divorced dad proved once and for all that NO ONE should get involved with a soon-to-be divorcee – RED FLAGS were everywhere and eventually were received, noted and dealt with in a timely manner. Both relationships were in separate years too.

Then we pivoted from that to of course talking about some serious topics in the dating world. When you hear the phrase, abusive relationship, usually domestic violence comes to mind, but emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. And the truth is emotional abuse doesn’t just happen to women; it also happens to men and the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.

There are 3 different types of abuse that happen in relationships: 1) Domestic Violence 2) Rape and 3) Dating abuse. These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

Abuse isn’t always obvious.

Here are some red flags that everyone reading this should know and note:

  • Call you names and put you down
  • Call or text you throughout the day to check on you
  • Keep you from friends or family
  • Control your $
  • Threaten to hurt you, himself/herself, your pet or loved one
  • Hit, Kick, Push, Punch, Slap, Pinch, Choke or Bite you
  • Destroy property or throw things
  • Tell you who you can see or what job you can have
  • Tell you how to dress
  • Act overly jealous
  • Withhold medication or health care
  • Make you have sex or do sexual acts that you don’t want to do
  • Threaten to “out” you if you are gay or lesbian
  • Constantly criticize
  • Embarrass you
  • Blame you for everything – including the abusive behavior

What usually happens after this happens the first time is that the victim makes statements like:

My partner isn’t violent all the time – they love me”

“Things will get better – they didn’t mean it”

“Maybe it’s my fault”

“I’m scared of what will happen if I leave them”

And the abuse continues.

Remember, most relationships start off with each person acting their best and seeing the other with rose-colored glasses. It never starts off on an abusive note.

There were many other topics we discussed in “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” and the feedback from the book was tremendous. Which leads me to writing this follow up book, “Relationship Impossible”

Here is a brief summary of the topics that will be discussed in the book- note that I am not mentioning EVERY topic.

A. How Covid 19 affected dating

B. How Dating apps and sites actually work

C. Social Media’s Shallow Pitfalls

D. Athletes. Social Media, and Dating Apps

E. Myths: sexual myths, Out of My League Myths, etc.

F. The 7 Selfish Traits

G. How The Me Too Movement Changed Dating

H. The most dangerous / safe states for online dating

And much more.

Of course some of the topics that I have blogged about over the years, will be mentioned and some topics are those that trend on social media like the following: TO BE CONTINUED….. ( Oh, just you wait… )

If you would like to read Hello Love Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed, which was nominated for Book of the Year in 2016, click here or click here

52% Of Americans Already In Relationships Using Dating Apps While In Quarantine

Yes, you read that title correct.  And people wonder why having a meaningful relationship is so hard these days!  The pandemic has cut many couples off from one another as they are forced to follow the quarantine orders in their states. A new survey finds that singles are now turning to online dating to fill their needs, even if they already have a partner.

42 percent of both single and attached Americans had downloaded a dating app while in quarantine. The big difference however was that more people who already have a significant other are apparently taking their browsing even further.  The survey also found that a third of attached Americans said they’ve reached out to their ex while in isolation even though they already have a partner. While 37 percent of single Americans said they did the same thing.

6 out of 10 people say they are willing to lower their standards and talk to someone outside their “usual type” while in isolation. Two-thirds of people surveyed said  because of social distancing it was making them crave physical intimacy.  Researchers found that 41 percent of attached Americans say they’ve gone on a virtual date during the quarantine.  While Only 27 percent of single people had done the same.

Another interesting thing to note is that a lot of professional hockey players have been using social media a lot more and when interviewed they mention that they have a “girlfriend” when on their platforms such as Instagram, there are no “life signs” of this girlfriend that they speak of.  It also shows you that many folks are using social media such as Instagram and Twitter to “hook up” with others while in quarantine and try to hide their real lives by not posting certain people on their platforms.

 

Relationships In Times Of Social Distancing

As we have been quarantined for awhile now practicing social distance, working from home, and now not being able to be around other people, it got me thinking about relationships in our lives.

There pretty much are four categories:

1- Those that are familiar and make us feel good.

2- Those that bring you adventure and make you question everything.

3- Those that are put on hold.

4- Those that make you crave more.

First and foremost, the relationships that most of us miss are the familiar. Our families, friends, and co-workers. The ones that we spend the most time with during the day, let alone the week. Of course these people are the ones that make us feel good about our lives and make us feel full of life. Whether we have small conversations during the day, hang out at the bar after work or make plans with friends to go to “the game,” we have connections that increase our emotional well being and boost your mood. It’s essential to have those people in your life who you can trust when we face those challenges life can bring and having someone to vent to is also important.

The next type of relationship are the ones that bring us adventure and make you question just about everything in that happens in life. These are needed for an upbeat life- not a dull life. Without these connections and relationships, we would all live a very depressed life. Successful lives grow out of having adventures. The adventure of your life is so important that it demands the best of your attention, and the most of your energies, on a daily basis, so that you can have a well-balanced life. Being adventurous and questioning why things are the way they are, expands and broaden our mind and makes us learn new and unique things which were unknown before.

The bad thing about being stuck in quarantine, are the relationships that were now put on hold. There are some folks that get excited about meeting new people, having new friendships, and even having romantic relationships blossom. In this time of social distancing, we are forced to put some of these new possibilities on hold simply because to build a relationship isn’t something you can do over just with texting, Facetime and social media, it’s something that we have to do physically.

Of course there are relationships that make us crave more. These are a combination of 1-3. The importance of adventure in our life provides a positive attitude in the same way it releases our stress because during the adventure it take us away from our hectic life to a new happy life at least for a short period of time. Some relationships inspire us, shape us, mold us, and make us simply appreciate life more. All of us need love in our lives, even though there might be some people who will deny that.

Where there is love ,there is hope. And when there is hope, then anything is possible. Love doesn’t have an age, a race, a religion, or a gender. Love is something that binds us together. It’s the soul of any relationship.

So, while we sit here and wait for our lives to get back to normal, I hope that when we do, we don’t go back to “normal.” I hope this quarantine and social distancing makes each and every one of us realize how blessed we are to have relationships already in our lives, the chance to grow new relationships, and the possibility to make each moment we get to live, memorable. Maybe we will appreciate each other more. Maybe we will love with less restrictions. Maybe when all is said and done, we will take time to literally, “smell the roses,” while being forced right now to wake up and “smell the coffee.”

**Sneak Peek**

Here is a quick sneak peek of the follow up to my best seller, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” which I am in the process of putting together now.

First the title:  I will release the name of the title on my IGTV series: Behind the Scenes: The Diary Of A Social Gal

Secondly The Content:  There will be 10 chapters in the book.  Most of them will be about dating apps and online dating.  There also will be a chapter or two about social media dating, which is trending up this year as a place where folks believe they can meet their “special someone” without having to deal with scams, cheaters and those who are looking for hook ups.

Thirdly: I will talk about women issues, give men some advice about pick up lines and how to actually pick a woman up the decent way, and update you on some of the stories I told in the previous book.

Fourth: I will talk about athletes, dating apps and……

It’s going to be an AWESOME book and I can’t wait to share it with all of you!

update

7 Ways To Score Dates For Christmas

According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way thru the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty, if you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting genuine people in bars because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks.

 

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because sometimes (and usually) the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2020, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

Facebook Enters The Love Game

Facebook is in it for love and they want you in it with them. So how does it work?

Dating is now integrated with Facebook groups and events. If people in a group you’re in have created Dating profiles or if they’re planning to attend the same Facebook events, they might show up in your matches. Facebook Dating is free and contains no ads or in-app purchases. Your Facebook Dating profile will be separate from your main one, but it will tap existing features such as events and groups, as well as your network of friends to identify “secret crushes.” ( Which is a bad, bad idea!)

Facebook Dating won’t suggest your friends as people you might want to date. Your dating profile also won’t show up on your news feed or be visible to friends; it’s only for others using the dating service. Facebook insists it won’t use information gleaned from your dating profiles for advertising and says there won’t be ads on Facebook Dating. ( Can we really trust this?)
To prevent unwanted messages, photos and spam, Facebook Dating lets you message someone just once unless you get a response. Facebook also won’t allow lonely hearts – or creeps – to send photos or website links, which could help cut down on unsolicited body-part photos.

There were initially rumblings that the dating feature might be open only to people who list themselves as “single” and not those who are “married” or “in a relationship.” But Facebook has said this is not the case. After all, people often don’t keep their relationship status up to date or don’t use it in a serious way.

Facebook is telling users to keep your identity private which includes your last name and your actual profile you have on Facebook. They also are warning people that folks may misrepresent themselves and their intentions in their dating profile and this could lead to harassment or harm if you decide to meet them in person.

This is just another bad option for dating. People don’t trust Facebook when it comes to privacy, but they are going to trust Facebook looking for love? And why not found out the last name of someone that you meet online? How are you going to be able to keep yourself safe if you don’t know who you are dealing with?

When are people going to LEARN that EVERY dating site is a cesspool filled with criminals, pedophiles, and scammers. If you really want a relationship step away from your devices and into the real world . Using dating sites doesn’t allow you to use your intuition and folks are going based on the profile that someone wrote up- which is filled with lies!

Facebook is just in this for the money- they don’t care about you “finding love” – stop believing that fairy-tale that love is on these sites. The only thing you are mostly  to find are STDs and hookups.