The book that everybody has been waiting for is finally arriving on your shelf soon .
more to come!
Just Gonna Leave This Here
Should I say, I told you so?
If you follow this blog or my podcast, you know that for over the past year I have been preaching and talking about how the NHL’s culture is very sexist and has a misogyny tone.
I have pointed out cases when this happened, not to mention my own experience. Well, today we found out that the New York Rangers and the NHL have been covering up ( Surprise… but not really) Artemi Panarin’s alleged sexual assault of a former MSG staffer.
The story which broke from Katie Strang, of the Athletic, which is the following: The Rangers and Artemi Panarin reached settlements in August 2024 with a former female employee regarding a sexual assault claim, stemming from a December 2023 incident where Panarin took the employee’s phone, and would not give it back to her until she came to his hotel room, where he allegedly pinned her down on a bed, she pushed him off, and left.
As also told by beat writer, Vince Mercogliano, The woman, who was not identified in the report, reached agreements with Panarin and MSG Sports, which included non-disclosure and no admission of wrongdoing clauses, and then left the company.
The Club retained an outside law firm to conduct an independent investigation, which the League was fully apprised of. We consider the matter closed,” the NHL said in a statement. The league and Rangers declined to say whether Panarin was disciplined regarding the situation.
The female employee felt she was treated unfairly, according to team sources, and she then informed the team about the alleged assault. In February 2021, Panarin stepped away from the team for personal reasons after a Russian newspaper reported claims he was involved in a physical altercation with a woman in Latvia that year.
It’s important to note that when the Rangers were investigating a separate matter involving the same employee giving “anti-anxiety medicine” to a player on a team flight. The Rangers’ social media employees were no longer permitted to travel with the team as a result.
It’s also important to note that Jess Isner, who was the social media admin for the Boston Bruins and the Phoenix Coyotes prior to being the social media admin of the New York Rangers from 2019-2023 is no longer the admin and all her social media has been deleted.
The public may not realize just how many victims of any crime blame themselves for their own victimization. Self blame is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse. It amplifies our perceived inadequacies, whether real or imagined, and paralyzes us before we can even begin to move forward. Seemingly innocent questions from family and friends can trigger self-doubt and prevent victims from reporting to police.
They may also question what they did wrong and believe it was their fault. Sexual harassment and assault can be a humiliating experience to recount privately, let alone publicly. Victims of sexual harassment and sexual assault in adulthood or sexual abuse in childhood tend to feel shame, because as human beings, we want to believe hat we have control over what happens to us. When that personal power is challenged by a victimization of any kind, we feel humiliated.
Another reason women don’t go to the police is that they fear of the repercussions when it comes to reporting sexual harassment or assault — fear of losing their job, fear they won’t find another job, fear they will be passed over for a promotion, fear of losing their credibility, fear of being branded a troublemaker, fear of being blackballed in their industry, fear of their physical safety, etc. The fact that sexual misconduct is the most under-reported crime is due to a common belief that women make up these stories for attention or to get back at a man who rejected them. Victims’ accounts are often scrutinized to the point of exhaustion.
Also women feel it is useless to come forward, because they have seen the way others have been treated. They feel it is hopeless, because they won’t be believed, and their reputations will be tainted, if not ruined. Women who have already been sexually assaulted or harassed feel especially helpless, since the chances are extremely high that they did not receive the justice they so desperately needed.
To all the men out there focusing so much energy on trying to figure out why victims don’t report, it would be far more productive to ask, “Why do we allow men to continue to sexually harass and assault women?”
FYI: Next Tuesday in a courtroom in London, Ont., five former members of Canada’s 2018 World Juniors team go on trial, 15 months after they were charged with sexual assault.
Michael McLeod, Carter Hart, Alex Formenton, Cal Foote, and Dillon Dube have all pleaded not guilty. McLeod faces a second sexual assault charge as a party to the offense.
And to those men who think what happened with Panarin wasn’t “sexual assault” there are 3 levels of sexual assault and it doesn’t always include sexual intercourse. Level 1 involves minor physical injuries or no injuries to the victim. Sexual assault Level 2: Sexual assault with a weapon, threats, or causing bodily harm. Aggravated sexual assault. Level 3: Sexual assault that results in wounding, maiming, disfiguring or endangering the life of the victim.
Follow me on X or IG for more updates and important information.
Men, The Bear, Bumble And Harrison Butker
I wasn’t playing on writing a blog like this, but seeing how the landscape has been against women even more than it has been as of late, I had to put my thoughts into words.
For starters, if you are not on Tiktok then you missed a lot.
There was this dude who seriously looks like the guy who secretly films women getting dressed in the changing room at a department store, started us off, by telling us that men don’t have to accept women’s rejection : AKA he told men that is OKAY to RAPE them. I highly doubt that he is a “dating coach” which in itself is creepy. But what sane “coach” would tell men that women are forbidden to reject him? My thinking is that this guy never had a date back in high school and/or the head cheerleader rejected him and he is so scarred by that, he has hateful views now towards all women.
If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a guy who put out the question, if women were in a forest would they want to be in a forest alone with a MAN OR A BEAR? He was not asking which one women would choose, technically, but it took off on Tiktok and women every where were answering the bear. You can imagine how much this triggered guys EVERYWHERE!
The men, oh sorry, the boys that were triggered proved over and over WHY women preferred to be alone with a bear instead of a man. When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them. And if we look at the culture that is being thrown at women today, I think it is safe to say, this is why women would choose a bear.
Here are some reasons why women choose the bear in case men are still confused:
A- No one would question us about what I was wearing, why I was wearing what I was wearing, and If what I was wearing was to lead on any man to believe I wanted sex.
B- A Bear would not film it and send it to his friends and post it online.
C- No one will question if the bear attacked really happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the saying, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
By the way, there’s a reason women are warned not to hike or camp alone, and it’s not because of bears.
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. RAINN ( Rape Abuse, Incest Network) says on average, there are nearly 450,000 victims of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States. According to North America Bear Center- black bears – the most common bear in the United States – kill less than one person per year. On average, 28 people in the United States die each year from lightning strikes, according to all U.S. lightning deaths reported from 2006 through 2021
So, when women are saying that they FEEL SAFER in the FOREST/WOODS alone with a bear than with a strange man, and men, instead of trying to make things BETTER for women, are triggered by it and instead of trying to say, “Men should not rape, men should not act like pigs when it comes to women,” They are trying to gaslight, manipulate and force women to feel crazy and stupid for saying a bear. Then you hear guys ask the question why women who are abused and assaulted never come forward or come forward years later:
As many as 90% of those survivors never report their abuse to law enforcement, and more than 30% will never report their abuse to anyone (National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children).
What Happens To Rapists When They Are Caught And Reported?
- 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years. Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison. Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail.
- If a rape is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
- If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
- If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of conviction.
- If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
- So even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.
Not only are we talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia.
An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”
THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to have NHL PLAYERS on a podcast – you are rejected AUTOMATICALLY.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to develop friendships with hockey players, THEY NEED TO BE CERTAIN WOMEN –
Beyond sexist barriers within the sport, there are misogynist ideas engrained that position women as objects and conquests within hockey culture- That is why you ONLY SEE WOMEN WHO 1- ACCEPT BARE MINIMUM, 2- WILL NOT OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT HOW OTHER WOMEN ARE TREATED, AND 3- WHO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!
Misogyny was undeniably evidenced in the alleged gang-sexual assault committed by members of Canada’s 2018 World Junior team, in the subsequent cover-up, and in the revelation that Hockey Canada had a fund that was used consistently and covertly to protect players.
The deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny within hockey culture contribute to these brutal acts of dehumanization. Yet, these connections remain unrecognizable because people are unable to confront the culture that permeates their existence. In addition, as this does not directly impact players, such as the consequences of playing through pain, the calls to confront sexism/misogyny are largely not coming from male players. Unfortunately, there is more impact when people within hockey resist the harmful impacts of the culture as people are more inclined to listen to and empathize with the protagonists in our national narrative and because status is used to legitimize particular perspectives. If current player’s voices are needed, and yet they cannot recognize the objectification of girls and women, how will sexism and misogyny ever be recognized and meaningfully challenged if it remains unrecognizable to those within the culture? Yet, as recent current events have revealed, this resistance is the problem at hand!
AND JUST THIS WEEK, A Native American woman who worked for the Chicago Blackhawks is suing the organization and its charity, the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, accusing them of breach of oral contract, fraud and sexual harassment.
Then of course we have the dating app Bumble who decided to tell women to KEEP HOOKING UP with guys on their app because they are losing money and that in turn is all they care about! Seriously, I keep telling you all how TERRIBLE dating apps are and they filled with men who ONLY want to hook up, rape women, cheat on partners.. . etc.
Bumble fumbled, are now working quickly fix the damage caused by an ad campaign that pokes fun at celibacy and abstinence. They changed HOW the app worked, which pissed off A TON of women, and then did this ad. They did apologize, but.. THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR!
Now here’s the KICKER, literally, the kicker in all of this …
The Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butkler, said at very conservative Catholic College told women that they shouldn’t be out here, climbing up the corporate ladder that they should be home, taking care of their husband and children.
If women decide to do that, that’s their choice it’s not for a man to decide a woman’s fate.
Which is kind of funny since his mom, Elizabeth Keller Butker is an accomplished academic who holds a degree in Chemistry from Smith College as well as a Master’s degree in Medical Physics.
How did his mom somehow raised him to be a MISOGYNISTIC & SEXIST man?
BTW Harrison, if you are reading this: you’re a kicker you don’t do hard things and you STILL miss.
I have NOTHING against women who CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, if that’s what you want be and that’s what you desire then go for it but for a man who kicks balls for a living to tell other women that their dreams don’t matter and that they should just be in the kitchen is what’s wrong; it’s 2024 not 1964.
Women can do a lot of different things and wear different hats and that triggers some men who can’t do hard things.
Now, as a Catholic woman, I don’t agree AT ALL with what Harrison has said AND here are the Catholic teachings that I have been taught:
1- We all were created to serve God. We all have a special purpose, that purpose is not the same for everyone.
2- Each of us were shaped differently. We all were given different Spiritual gifts, Personalities, and Abilities. What you are ABLE to do, God wants you to do. No one else can play your role.
3- Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Your purpose is to show love to others.
God doesn’t want everyone to do the same work.
God doesn’t hate any of us based on race, sexuality, or weakness.
God made us and our life started at conception.
Those in the church that preach otherwise are preaching their own agenda. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Maybe Harrison forgot this. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. I think as a society we have truly have forgotten about love and how to truly love each other.
Love only embraces, and never attacks. It is of the Spirit, and thus incapable of attack.
What a beautiful thought.
The NHL and it’s Misogynist Behavior
It’s no secret that A) I am a hockey fan and B) have had my share of controversy with my podcast – which I will mention later, but in its creepy, disgusting way, is all tied together.
For those who aren’t hockey fans, there was a story that broke last week in regards to a sexual assault on a female back in 2018 at the World Junior Championship with Team Canada.
Here’s the background on this case:
In March of 2023, TSN’s Rick Westhead reported that The Heritage Committee had unanimously voted for a motion directing Hockey Canada to hand over law firm Henein Hutchison’s final report detailing its investigation into the alleged sexual assault.
Police investigators in London, Ont., said in December of 2022 that they had “reasonable grounds” to believe that five members of the 2018 Canada World Juniors hockey team sexually assaulted a woman in a hotel room after a Hockey Canada fundraising gala, according to a court filing to the Ontario Court of Justice.
The sexual assault allegations initially were investigated by London Police in 2018, however, the case was closed in February 2019 without any charges. The investigation was reopened in 2022.
In April of 2022, a woman filed a lawsuit against Hockey Canada, the Canadian Hockey League, and eight unnamed CHL players, stating she was sexually assaulted in a London, Ont. hotel room in June of 2018 following a Hockey Canada event.
The woman elected not to name any of the players involved, and stated in her original claim that it was eight “players for, and members of the CHL and Hockey Canada, including but not limited to members of the Canada U20 Men’s Junior Hockey Team.”
According to the lawsuit, the woman met the players at a bar, who were in London, Ont. for the Hockey Canada Foundation Gala & Golf event on June 18, 2018. She met one of the players, who is referred to as John Doe 1, who bought her alcoholic beverages. The woman said she was separated from her friend group as she became more intoxicated and eventually left the bar and went to a hotel with John Doe 1.
At the hotel, the two ” engaged in sexual acts” in John Doe 1’s hotel room. The woman said that after this, “John Doe 1 invited the remainder of the John Doe defendants into the room without the knowledge or consent of the Plaintiff.”
The woman said in the claim that over the next several hours, John Does 1-8 engaged in several sexual acts “which collectively constituted sexual abuse and assault of the Plaintiff.” During these assaults, “the Plaintiff experienced an ongoing apprehension of imminent physical harm of a sexual nature. The actions of the John Doe Defendants caused terror and fear in the Plaintiff’s mind.”
In the claim, the woman states that she could not give consent to any of the actions because of how intoxicated she was. In addition, the group of eight would not let her leave the room, despite multiple attempts by the victim.
The woman claimed that Hockey Canada knew about the allegations and did nothing about them.
Hockey Canada stated on Dec. 20 that their investigation had concluded and an adjunction panel would determine if any sanctions need to be imposed. They would keep the results confidential as the London Police continues with its investigation.
In addition, Hockey Canada said last year that no player from the 2018 World Juniors team is eligible to play for Canada’s national team in any IIHF event for the foreseeable future. ”Senior officials at Hockey Canada… claimed they didn’t know who was involved. It was a statement as ridiculous as it was disheartening and sickening.”
After the initial closing of the investigation, Hockey Canada began to receive backlash from Canada’s political figures and sponsors, in addition to fans of the sport. Especially since they quietly paid off the woman involved.
The NHL said it would conduct its own independent investigation into what happened because some active players were on that team and attended the gala. Commissioner Gary Bettman pledged to release the findings once completed, but as we saw with the hush hush and lack of transparency with what went down with the Blackhawks, we know fully well that this too will be “swept under the rug”
It’s disappointing the NHL doesn’t have the guts to own it, instead putting out a potential new franchise in Utah, to deflect from this breaking story, it’s pathetic really. And what I think far worse is the timing of how the NHL released it “mental health awareness” campaign to allow guys to have a leave of absence from their team and that too, was used to protect the five guys that are being charged with rape. The five guys are: NHL players Michael McLeod and Cal Foote of the New Jersey Devils, Carter Hart of the Philadelphia Flyers and Dillon Dubé of the Calgary Flames. Former NHL player Alex Formenton, who now plays with Swiss club HC Ambrì-Piotta, is the fifth player. Which brings me to the male fans disgusting reaction to this on social media.
This is why women don’t want to speak up. Being raped is the one of the WORST things a woman can feel and go through and these men on social media are more concerned about their hockey teams, defending the guys, and to me, the teams who knew about this and covered it up helped move the players around is despicable.
As a woman I can vouch that we are taught how to defend ourselves against being raped, when how about we actually teach men NOT TO RAPE!?
Of course women who are hockey fans have to endure being called, “puckbunnies” because yeah, heaven forbid a girl likes the sport for the sport. What these aholes on social media don’t realize is that throwing around a term like “puck bunny” is the same as calling them a slut…it’s not any classier and it certainly doesn’t make you look like any more of a real fan- it actually makes you look like loser!
Most guys feel threaten, by a female who know her shit and is not afraid to tell it. As if women don’t face enough struggle earning respect period in the world today, in the sport of hockey it is 100% worse! Men should be less worried about women making them look bad all awhile they are looking like a catty high schooler for being concerned with their ‘extracurricular activities’. ( I say that with a lot of sarcasm!)
Sexism is no stranger in hockey as it has been in football and even baseball.
The hockey PR departments ACROSS the league HATE women. Yes, I said it and I stick with it. 62% of men are employed by NHL teams while a whopping 37% are women. Not surprised. And if you look at their roles, that’s even worse.
Women work the sidelines/benches. Do you see women on TNT at the desk? Do you see women on ESPN at the desk? Do you see women as the an analyst?
Do you see any woman in a high ranking position?
How many females do you think do an NHL podcast and are promoted by the NHL?
If you scope out X , you will find thousands of podcasts done by males, and their guests are usually who…. Other males.
On my podcast, I had male guests. For example, one of them a crazy fan, and another was another podcast trying to get big names on his. He told me that he was going to have me on his podcast as that was the deal- I’d be on his he be on mine…. Do you think I was ever on his?
Because men don’t want to hear women talk hockey .
If you look at some of the women that are hired …. The blonde chicks mind you. That’s the reason they are hired for their looks not for their intelligence. Women are hired so it doesn’t look like they are being discriminated against when, in fact, women are constantly discriminated against in the world of the national hockey league.. they even have this fake special day called women empowerment day…. Like they give two shits about women.
Going back to my podcast, And the guy that I knew in the PR department for the New York Rangers…. He knew Exactly that I was asking to have Jacob Trouba on my podcast, constantly ignored me, never responded, and then when the controversy hit X, instead of reaching out to me, like a man would do to see if he could fix anything or apologize, he unfollowed me on Instagram, unfollowed me on Facebook to pretend, as if he never knew who I was…. Oh I have screenshots..
Trouba on the other hand, knew I was asking for him to be on my podcast, and instead of being a man and reaching out to me, decided to go on a podcast with men at the helm. Trouba showed you that he is sexist against women just as the PR department is…. Just as the New York Rangers organization is….. oh, and by the way, there is a sexual assault lawsuit against the owner, James Dolan.
I’ve always thought of James Dolan, as a very savvy businessman….. but you can kind of tie everything that’s happened with women in the Knicks and the Rangers organizations together…. don’t forget he’s also had Isaiah Thomas who was accused of sexual harassment, and then put him in charge of the WNBA’s team that used to play at MSG. He showed a lot of disregard for women.
It would be a smart move for James Dolan if he actually showed some concern for women, and what women have to go through to be in sports industry. It would also make him look better with the news coming out of his sexual assault lawsuit.
But you won’t see any other guy on the New York Rangers stand up against Trouba or stand up against what the New York Rangers PR department has done or for that matter stand up for women. No, they’ll just wear those stupid purple jerseys in March for women’s empowerment, and then auction them off for “charity”
That’s the sad part.
And fans are no better.
An Open Letter To Men Everywhere
Do men get pinched, groped, ogled, catcalled, stared at, followed, intimidated and stalked regularly by other men?
Do they get rape threats from strangers online for having the gall to express a strong opinion?
How about unwanted comments on their profile pictures, unsolicited pictures of male genitalia, persistent romantic propositions even after rejection?
How about being talked over at work, admonished for standing one’s ground, assumed to be less skilled, being singled out among other colleagues for clerical tasks, told that their place is “in the kitchen” and “at home, raising kids?”
You are being asked to give women, the same bare-minimum, basic, fundamental respect that you afford men. You know, the sort that should be afforded to all human beings, simply for existing. We aren’t asking for amazing treatment, simply for being female. Far from it, actually. We’re asking for respect as people, something we are deprived of simply for being women with a regularity, severity and degree that should absolutely alarm you.
Respecting women can’t be a rule, but surely it can be a responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Women are tired of having to be taught how to protect themselves from men, but rather why can’t the men be taught not to rape, harass, or abuse a woman? Dress does not dictate if a woman is valued or respected. Nor does it protect her from being violated. But I am, as are all women tired of hearing guys ask, “well, what was she wearing?” Or, “She was probably asking for it.” No. No woman is ever asking to be raped, harassed or abused. No woman wants to be judged based on what she was wearing, how she was wearing it, and just how much attention she was craving.
It’s about time society started appreciating the important role that women play. Women today contribute more than half to the world’s economy. More than 11.6 million businesses are owned by women, employing nearly 9 million people, and generating $1.7 trillion in sales as of 2017. Women-owned businesses (51% or more) account for 39% of all privately held businesses and contribute 8% of employment and 4.2% of revenues.
We just aren’t about having babies, raising babies, and baking some cookies. Women are smart, savvy, and go-getters. Women want to be seen for WHO we are, NOT for what we look like. Ever notice that a man especially, can only compliment a woman on her looks, not on her other personality traits? “Oh, she is hot,” “She’s gorgeous,” or, “What a beauty!” It’s never, ” You’re amazing at what you do,” “I always learn so much from you,” or, “I like your style.”
If we want to prevent sexual assaults and sexual harassment, then parents have a responsibility to their sons to have a much more uncomfortable conversation. Overall, the media has told a man, in this society, treating women with disrespect is the cool or easy thing to do. The only way to change this, is to make sure that as boys, they know that this behavior is unacceptable, and that no matter who they come in contact with during their lifetime, they are to be treated with respect. Remember, it costs NOTHING to be kind, to be respectable and to be responsible.
Sex, Lies, and Abuse: How the #MeToo Won’t Change Anything
If you ever read my review on “Fifty Shades of Grey,” then you know where I will be going with this article. If you never did read it, let me paraphrase it here for you: “Christian Grey has sadistic sex that leaves Anastasia sometimes bleeding and too bruised to move. The fact that Fifty Shades has taken eroticism violence against women and re-branded it as romance, is something of complete irony. Love is not abuse, and abuse is not love. Just because our society today have erased the shame of hooking up and joke openly about adult entertainment, doesn’t mean that we should fall for what Christian Grey truly is: an abuser. What the movie “Fifty Shades” wants women to believe is that women can fix violent, controlling men by being obedient and loving. That in a nutshell is false. It’s not okay for a man to use sex to control, manipulate and introduce pain to a woman. Christian Grey believes the physical pain a man would inflict on a woman is not as bad as the pain of losing him. Not cool. Not cool at all.”
I can tell you that Fifty Shades of Grey grossed $166.2 million in North America and $404.8 million in other territories for a worldwide total of $571 million, against a budget of $40 million! And most of the women who went to see this movie, bought merchandise and the book, NEVER complained about sexual harassment, sexual abuse or sexual assault. They were also part of this #MeToo movement, which is hypocrisy at it’s finest.
The #MeToo movement has gone from bad to worse. It doesn’t help women at all. Instead it takes the core part of what true feminism is; equality in the workplace, and make it even harder for women. What man in his right mind is going to now want to hire a woman, let alone be left alone with a woman in his office? And what is worse is the fact that some women are taking advantage of the situation by using their sexual relationships they have had in the past with men they worked with, relationships that were consented. Not to mention that sleeping with a boss or co-worker, didn’t get them to where they wanted in the workplace or that the relationship ended badly, they now turn around and say that they were sexually assaulted. Some have also been proven to have falsified evidence to say that they were abused forty years ago.
That’s another thing. If you are abused, you don’t wait forty years and then turn around and say, “Oh, I was afraid for my career at the time, or that I didn’t think people would believe me.” And I am supposed to believe you now? The woman’s health and mental state should ALWAYS come before career. And in that forty years that you wait, you let the guy develop a pattern of behavior. Besides the fact that people do change over that amount of time as well. I can personally tell you that I am not the same woman I was twenty years ago. I can only imagine how these men must feel who are being accused of this, forty years later. I don’t care if it was five years ago, either. Time to come out and say something is the moment it happens, not when the “best opportunity” for the woman to come forward.
That is wrong on so many levels.
Also, has it ever occurred to some people, that willingly sleeping with a boss or co-worker is not assault? The only time it is assault is if you are blackmailed to do so. Then it’s classified as rape. When it is not consented sex, and the man continues to do so, that is considered rape. Rape is, never okay. I repeat, rape is never okay. Now we as society are still dealing with rape, as being one of the highest percentage of crimes year after year, but the media doesn’t talk about it. You hear stories on the news, but there is never a discussion on any talk show of how to curb this crime. Rape kits are also to blame for why most guys “get away with it”
Last week in my of my hockey groups, this guy posted a picture of a woman in the front row behind the bench, wearing a low cut white shirt, along with her coat, opened, and a hat on. You can bet that there were sexist comments, as you would think there would be, on a post like that. The bottom line of why I bring it up is simply this:
This girl wore that shirt on purpose. It’s obvious. But the funny thing is, she’ll wear that shirt, be noticed for all the wrong reasons, and then turn around and sue guys for sexual harassment. (I’m making a point, not saying that this girl in the photo will do that.) That’s what’s wrong with it. Not the fact that she set guys up to even look at her. She totally knew the deal. The sad part is she used her body for that attention instead of her mind. When women stop falling for the “Let’s dress a certain way to be noticed,” crap, then maybe a woman can be appreciated for her brains, not her boobs.
On WFAN’s Facebook page, which is totally being bombarded with negative posts about it’s new afternoon show. I saw a few very sexists comments that talked about how women do’t know how to talk about sports. That women have no place in that category. See; double standard is still alive. Men think they know “everything” and that women are “dumb, stupid, out of touch, or belong elsewhere.” Maybe when men’s perceptions of women change, women will change. After all, both sexes tend to do things to please the other instead of doing things that please themselves. We try so hard to make everyone else around us happy, that we forget that the most important person’s happiness is our own.
If that is the one lesson that we all can learn from #MeToo, then I hope most learn it. Remember, respect is earned, not a given. You need to respect yourself first and foremost if you ever want someone else to reciprocate that respect. I hope in 2018, the media makes a woman famous for expanding her mind, not her breasts.
The NFL and Hollywood: The definition of hypocrites
“….a women’s responsibility not to “provoke” domestic violence.” Those were Stephen A. Smith’s actual words on ESPN in 2014, in reference to Ray Rice’s two game suspension from the NFL for knocking out his wife, Janay, in an Atlantic City resort elevator. (Meanwhile, for those who don’t follow the NFL, Robert Mathis, another football player, was suspended for four games for taking Clomid, to help him & his wife have a third child in 2014.)
To say that a woman is “responsible” for a man’s actions is not only absurd, it is sexist. Let me enlighten ALL men that, a women doesn’t “ask” to get beaten and in the same breath, she doesn’t “ask” or “invite” any man to rape her either. The only actions a woman is responsible for are her own. Period.
Not the cold hard facts on domestic violence: The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. It is estimated that 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend to 3 million women are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year. Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
Domestic Abuse starts off small. #1 FACT: Most domestic violence incidents are never reported. Domestic violence isn’t just an argument every once in a while. Domestic violence is an ongoing pattern of abusive behavior when one person chooses to control the relationship through force or intimidation. Fear and embarrassment are the reasons that many women do not wish to report the abuse or do anything to stop it. This is the reason most abused women stay in those relationships and blame themselves for the abuse.
And in the case of millions of actors and actresses not coming forward about being sexual harassed, or raped, until years later, the reason highlights itself. They were afraid of being blackballed in Hollywood. How much further will this topic go? Will we just forget about sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexism when this Weinstein story blows over? Because that is usually what happens. We never “fix” problems, or come up with solutions. All we do is talk things to death and then move on.
Same could be said about the NFL now. They are worst hypocrites. They make all their players wear pink for “Breast Cancer Awareness” and then they allow players to get second chance after second chance when they commit a crime against a woman. They are afraid to lay down rules as we see with the National Anthem, as we are witnessing. Can you imagine the powerhouse the NFL could really be if they had strict rules that were enforced, educated the players on domestic violence, and then turned around and educated the public? Can you imagine what true role models those in Hollywood would be in they stood up against sexual crimes, in spite of their own careers?
We can all help eliminate domestic violence and sexual crimes. Can we stop it? Probably not 100% but we can educate others after we educate ourselves first. We should do this because every child, woman and man deserves that, no questions asked.
.
Stephanie 's Corner 