Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Don’t F*ck It Up!

If you are an avid football fan like myself, you loved watching the games this weekend. There was competition, drama, and your blood pressure probably was raised to the point where you literally screamed at the TV set. All that aside, it’s interesting to see how the girlfriends/wives of these football players react on social media, if they do at all.
It’s also interesting to note that NFL players and social sometimes don’t mix – and the excuses as to why they keep who they are with “private” is a catch 22.
For those players who are married, it’s obvious they don’t like it when fans go after their wives on Twitter or Instagram, and any fan that does that is a dickhead. But what got me thinking this weekend in terms of this, is when their guy (boyfriend or wife) is struggling on the field, seeing her stick up for him on social media proves 2 things 1) her loyalty to the man she is dating/married too, and 2) her love for him goes beyond the football field.

Think about it, Patrick Mahomes fiancee, gets criticized left and right for the way she defends her man and for what she posts. Does that stop her? Hell no! (And it never should stop her! She’s awesome!) You have Matthew Stafford’s wife Kelly, always supporting her husband, on social media, then there is other girlfriends/wives that do the same.
Joey Burrow’s girlfriend is somewhat supportive on Instagram but not as supportive as I thought she would be. I mean, some girls take it to the extreme like Christian McCaffrey’s girlfriend does posting stupid selfies of herself for attention as does Dak Prescott’s girlfriend. Seriously, you have to wonder if that is the ONLY reason they are dating these guys? For the attention.

This makes me think of guys who are dating someone but have yet to post anything on social media. As I have said in the past, a player that is dating someone should not be using the excuse, “My private life is private” or, ” I keep close to my circle only” as an excuse why they don’t post about their girlfriends. IF an NFL player is not posting about his girlfriend or wife and only hiding you in their stories, that only means that he is trying to make it look as if he is single so they hoes can slide into his DMs.

REAL relationships aren’t a secret. And your partner should be PROUD that they are with you! That goes for HER as well- especially when he is struggling on the field and the fan base is attacking him left and right. Keeping hush-hush on social media and worse, having a private IG account only makes me question the relationship. I mean, if I were dating an NFL player and my guy was struggling, or the fan base was attacking him on social media, you bet your ass I would defend him and his ability and talent he has to be an NFL player. I would be so proud of him no matter what! If I was dating an athlete, I want to be his second priority. I want his first priority to be him, his ambitions, his life and his future, because seeing him happy makes me happy. Seeing him succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together. There’s a difference between being secretive and keeping your dirty laundry off social media.

Then there are girls who post things to Tiktok, like, ” An NBA player slid into my DMS and now I am sitting courtside… ” Girls always bragging about being the main chick. Try being the only chick. Stop letting guys (players) use you and disrespect you. The funny thing with this post was all the comments telling her she ain’t the only one. Girls allow this to happen, time and time again. Girls wanting to a be side chick, like an appetizer, Instead of respecting themselves as the main course.

They sliding in but only those who play for keeps get me. I ain’t no man’s side course. I am THE chick. Maybe that’s because I am older so I am wiser than these girls in their 20s who act foolish. And A LOT of athletes especially those who are young don’t understand that having many women isn’t a flex, but having that 1 woman no one can touch is. But many boys don’t understand the difference between quality and quantity.

So, there are a few NFL players who anonymously answered my questions about dating and women. Here are a few of those answers. The rest will be part of my exclusive podcast “Relationship Impossible” part 2 – coming in February.

Player 1: If you take pride in your clothes and your looks you are going to take care of me. Just my thoughts.

Player 2: I am sick of gold diggers, I have a Victorian style house and several sports cars, but I attract women for some reason who only lavish in that lifestyle. I am not looking to spend all my money on bottles of champagne and the new products that hit the market.

Player3: Look around the league, many players get caught up in drama and it eventually leads to an arrest, or problem. I just want a normal relationship where we value one another. (Note, This is the SAME guy that then says he wants to date a girl because she’s “hot” or “more famous” than he is. If you want a “normal” relationship, how about you guys get off the dating apps and just date a normal girl? – Ya know, those girls who work hard, play hard, and are loyal as fuck?)

In closing let me mention the players that scrub clean their IG’s – Every time they have a new team, or drop a new stupid song, or are trying to “rebrand” themselves- my question is, why? Scrubing clean your IG isn’t going to scrub away the fact that you played for a different team, that your fashion was questionable, that you look like you only care about materialistic things, etc. Scrubbing it clean makes you look insecure and ashamed of your past. What about the players that scrub clean an ex? This here, is different. TO be able to fully move on from an ex you need to mentally, physically, emotionally move on from someone. Getting rid of posts of you together, is allowing all the negative out and letting you manifest the positive into your life. But oh, don’t be stupid and follow your ex on Instagram though… if you really want to move on, move on completely. They don’t need to see your IG stories, and you don’t need to see theirs either.

Relationships are hard. Stop making them harder.

Relationship Impossible is available here – CLICK to purchase

and while you read it, you can sip my coffee – CLICK to purchase ( right as I type this the website is having difficulty, but you can follow me on Instagram!)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

With Love All Is Possible

This is the time of year that most believe in miracles and believe in love. This is also the time of year that sadly, most don’t. They don’t believe in reason for the season. They don’t believe that we all have a purpose and they don’t believe in others either.

Recently I saw an Instagram story from an athlete that basically said, “Don’t trust nobody!” And I thought to myself, how sad is that? But if this athlete is going to preach about God, does that mean he doesn’t trust God, his wife, his teammates, his kids?
Sometimes God is disguised as people on Earth and he speaks through people. If you’re telling others not to trust anybody that that means that you don’t trust God either.

Usually people who have had a traumatic past experience are the ones who stop trusting other people. Trust issues can be associated with depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment and attachment issues. They can stem from abuse, social rejection or just having low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are less likely to trust others. Which is ironic that this particular athlete always preaches about believing in yourself. Sometimes, though on social media people post things subconsciously to try and pick themselves up and not others. Even though their posts inspire other people the point of the post was to help make themselves believe what they are putting out there and were never intended to inspire others.

Some people have unrealistic expectations. The higher the expectations the more likely it is they won’t be met. Trust usually isn’t something people openly talk about or address in relationships until it’s been broken, and by then it’s often too late to salvage the relationship or the breach of trust seems too big to overcome. Trust is the foundation for your relationship and the key to love. When you trust your partner, then you feel secure that they won’t leave in difficult times. Trust and love go together as does loyalty. Without trust there is no love, and without loyalty there is no trust. Because love and trust so often go together, navigating relationships with people that we still love but no longer trust can be very difficult.

I don’t want to live with a bitter heart or a closed heart. I want to live with an open heart. And yes, will I get hurt? Sure. But that risk is worth it because love is worth it. All kinds of love require trust which is a quality found in people and not necessarily in relationships. People you can trust have integrity and do what they say they will do. A trustworthy person does not lie, manipulate, or deceive and this makes love possible.

I believe that you can fall for anyone, even without knowing them completely. You should first spend some time knowing the person, understanding them and deciding whether you can trust that person or not. Listen to your heart because your heart will never lie to you while your mind will play games. Trust to me is knowing I am totally responsible for and can be counted on me at all times. If I am trustworthy, I will trust others. Trust is the foundation of loving another human being.

How do you know when someone really loves you?

If you find they want to spend almost every minute of free time with you. If they always compliment you, no matter what. They care about the little things that make your day better. When somebody truly cares about somebody else, love evolves into something physical and mental that needs to be shared with the one person who takes up nearly all their thoughts and time.

As humans we are programmed to need relationships; they’re essential for our survival emotionally and physically. Relationships keep us grounded which in turn helps us stay sane in this chaotic world. But not all of us are lucky enough to find someone who loves us unconditionally. Some people don’t even know what love truly means. Love is not the materialistic things, as some would think, it’s the moments we share with that particular person that makes us feel together and whole. You value their personality and want their friendship. Love does make us do crazy things at time, but it’s that deep affection and admiration that we feel towards another person that makes us know that we found our “soulmate” There is a warmth in your heart, an inner peace you can feel. No words need to be spoken. It is not just unconditional love, but unconditional acceptance.

So as we march on in this Christmas season, remember this, loving someone, is about giving them the space to be themselves. If you are perfectly happy with their flaws and love them for who they are, then you have found a soulmate. Soulmates actually come into our lives to challenge us and help us grow in a way that serves us and moves us forward. We can often miss out on the opportunities to be challenged by someone else the universe has sent because that person wasn’t sent to us as we hoped or the way we thought they would be sent to us.

Again, love, trust, loyalty. Without one, we don’t have the other. The three in this day in age are rare. And if you are lucky enough to find all three, count your blessings.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Hype that once was for online dating, is simply over

In the beginning when online dating first emerged in 1995, with the world’s first online dating website was launched in the form of Match.com everyone was excited. The nights of trolling bars, clubs, and every other place in between was “officially” over!

Then came dating apps, and more apps, apps for athletes, professional careers, older people, Ivy league, etc. You name it, there is a dating app for a certain niche of people.

Various studies indicate that men, more so than women, search for youth and physical attractiveness in their potential mates. On dating sites, men are more likely to display their resources, athleticism, and strength, while women are more likely to alter their physical appearances through clothing or the use of makeup.

These differences also manifest in the ways men and women deceive each other. When attempting to impress potential mates, men are more likely to try to deceive women about their levels of dominance (i.e., masculinity) and resources (i.e., income, career expectations), while women are more likely to try to deceive men about their physical appearances.
Keep all this in mind as we talk about how this is just the start of a down fall with dating online and apps.

Men deceive women about relationships and use dating apps as an easy place for a hook up. A student overseas was told by Tinder that she swiped right over 100k. She complained that people online were only looking for a ‘quick hook up’ and her dates from Tinder didn’t last longer than two meetups. She has since abandoned online dating, saying meeting people in person ‘works 100 times better’ and is 11 months into a happy relationship with her boyfriend, who she met offline. She complained that on Tinder most men were just interested in casual sex and weren’t looking for a genuine connection. The 21 year old student even had to un-match potential suitors for sending her ‘creepy’ messages, which is basically the story of EVERY woman on a dating app.

Now there is a new study has found that married couples who met on dating apps have a higher chance of getting a divorce. (Only what I have been telling you and readers since 2011) The study conducted by the Marriage Foundation and assembled by the UK-based polling company Savanta ComRes, researchers polled over 2,000 adults who were at least 30 years old and married at least once in their lives, found that 12% of couples who found their significant other online got divorced within the first three years of marriage — compared to only 2% of lovers who met offline. After seven years of marriage, the likelihood of divorce for a couple who met through an app shot to 17%, compared to 10% of those who met through pals. The research also found that 8% of couples who linked up in school and 7% of spouses who met at work divorced within the first three years.

Now, if you meet a stranger on a social media app, don’t knock it. Well, at first. Social media is a great tool to meet interesting people and create relationships, but you must be smart about it. Know when someone has a fake account compared to a real account. Here are the RED FLAGS for fake accounts on Instagram:

1) Profile picture- lack of one or one that looks too professional/ photo shopped. 2) Private account 3) MANY followers and following thousands, but have NO Posts. 4) Have posts, but they are recent and not posted correctly ( just photos on Instagram, no copy) 5) They message you from another account to get to you follow the main account 6) The bio and the comments are generic 7) they ask for your phone number or personal information immediately – this is true of a SCAMMER. 8) They won’t Facetime you at all. ( They can still be fake and Facetime you – so take note of the conversation you are having. IF you keep asking to meet up and they keep saying no and have excuses- fake.

If you know WHO the person IS on line, it is always better to get to know that person verses a complete stranger, just be smart about it. ( An athlete is a good example of this- although athletes are known to have what are called burner accounts (fake accounts) to spy on what fans think about them and what the media is saying about them without the person’s knowledge.)

TOP places to MEET people:

  1. Coffee Shops
  2. Gyms
  3. Dog Parks
  4. Volunteering
  5. Sports leagues
  6. Airports
  7. Bars
  8. College Campuses
  9. Parties
  10. Grocery Store

*** The Bonus Coverage of Relationship Impossible will be a 2 part bonus. Part 1 will be in a podcast form – you can subscribe here CLICK HERE or you can purchase the journal which will be Part 2. (coming soon!)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Open For Business! (and other cool updates!)

Just Brew It Is Open For Business
Follow On Instagram!

I’m excited to announce that I have added to my businesses ( yes, I have another one folks!) with my coffee brand: Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee!
It’s so exciting! I really do LOVE coffee. That is not me being dramatic- I literally LIVE for it. It’s funny yes, but it’s my hustle juice. Now, I am not that coffee drinker that drinks like 4-5 cups… oh no, you’d have to peel me off the ceiling if I did that! But it definitely keeps me moving.

During the pandemic I started to look at what my passions were and what other type of businesses I could add to my “Sassy” line. I tried clothing for a while, and yes, I made a few sales, but clothing is quite expensive to keep up with, and on Instagram and Facebook in order to have a “shop” the website for which you sell it needs to the website you sell it from- meaning that I was not the one manufacturing the products and to purchase it you were going to a different website and not staying on mine.

Anyhow, I got a book on coffee and was reading up on it, I was an influencer for this coffee brand and I also was watching a few Christmas movies that inspired me to think to myself, “First off, why am I helping someone else make money off of coffee when I can do it myself?” And I drink a ton of coffee that never really tastes fresh since it’s on the shelves for a long time or the coffee shops you got to have expensive coffee that tasted altered- so I thought maybe I could have a brand of coffee that would be gourmet that folks could make at home or in the office and not have to go to expensive coffee places to get it. Bottom line is this: I roast the beans myself, then I grind them, and then I package them together. I sell K-pods and ground. Click here to go to the website

Here is the coffee after I grind it.

OTHER NEWS

You can now subscribe to my podcast, “Sassy Nation” This podcast is all about sports, social media and 100% sassiness!

Subscribers will get benefits that free listeners will not!

1) Recordings of A Fangirl #sarcasm podcast ( the latest episode is free right now)
2) Free Content Ideas for Social Media and Insider info
3) Exclusive News and Rants
4) Access to be on a podcast and named show producer
5) Free Business PR

The price is $2.99 a month! Subscribe here: Get Sassy!

Finally, The BONUS edition for my book, “Relationship Impossible” will be in a PODCAST format. I am still working on it, but I feel this is better to do than to sit and write out a bonus. I still am going to give you a journal and put some juicy details in the journal, but if you want to listen to the bonus edition, you will have to subscribe to the Sassy Nation Podcast. Of course I will give you a little teaser so you know what I am talking about… it will be WORTH IT! That I can promise and deliver!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Recordings Of A Fangirl #sarcasm

I hate the term “Fangirl.”

I also hate it when girls are called groupies or for those girls who love hockey, they are called “puckbunnies.”

It’s not a compliment.

So “Fangirl” or “fangirling” is not, in and of itself a sexist term. Nor does a man using it guarantee it is meant as anything other than a description. Can it be sexist? Sure. It can be meant dismissively or as a slur. I’ve seen women trash talk “fanboys” as well.

Intent is definitely the main part of the equation. If a guy looks at a panel room, a bar full of girls watching a game and shakes his head while muttering “fangirls” …yeah, he’s probably being sexist.

I always feel the need to defend myself when that term is used to pigeon-hole me. Why? Haven’t you heard? Fangirls are crazy, obsessive, desperate, shallow, hysterical females, who only care about the attractiveness of the athletes in question. What would they know about sports?

I have developed a podcast called, “The Recordings Of A Fangirl #Sarcasm” to talk about girlie things, sports, dating, athletes, and my usual sassy rants are part of it. These will be a bonus if you subscribe to my podcast “Sassy Nation”

Here are the links:

The latest podcast: CLICK HERE

The 1st episode of The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm: CLICK HERE

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Podcast part 2: Excerpts from Relationship Impossible

Listen to another exciting excerpt reading of my recently released book, “Relationship Impossible”.

UPDATE: The paperback is on the way to Amazon in 4-6 weeks and then in August the paperback will make it’s way to Barnes and Noble dot com.

Here’s the lowdown on dating sites: Every dating site has an algorithm that they use in matching people together. It is not “fate” that helps you meet the person, it is artificial intelligence. Match and the other apps use the same type of recommendation system used by Netflix or Facebook, taking your past behaviors (and the behavior of others) into account to predict what you’ll like next. LISTEN NOW!

Here’s the link for the PODCAST —-> CLICK Here

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Breaking: Relationship Impossible

My book, ” Relationship Impossible,” the most anticipated book of the summer, was officially released on Amazon as an eBook June 5th.

You Can Purchase it HERE

In the meantime, you can listen to a podcast reading of the book here: CLICK

There will be a contest coming up soon and also a giveaway of the book AND my coffee brand that I am launching soon!

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

Follow me on TWITTER

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Love Is Like A Game Of Chess

Breaking: With my upcoming book, “Relationship Impossible” comes a series of Journals that can be purchased to be used or just used alone.

The first one, seen here, will be released in a few days.

You can use it to write about all your dating adventures and at the end of the journal are questions that you can have fun asking your boyfriend/girlfriend ( Or use them for conversation starters!)

Look for the book, “Relationship Impossible” to be released May 28th.

The next journal will be released in June.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Good Girls, Bad Boys, Nice Guys, to Bad Girls

Here is part 2 of the preview “Relationship Impossible”

Some guys have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.

I’m not saying that guys should just ‘settle” but they aren’t going to be happy if every time they discover a flaw in someone, they go to somebody else because every woman has her own flaws; no body is perfect. (And vice versa) Find that someone who makes you better, without trying to change who you are

Now before guys get their pants in a bunch, to be fair, I have seen guys do just this; they find a woman who is a down to Earth, “good woman” and then they find a flaw in her like, “Not pretty enough” or “too strong minded,” so this way they avoid commitment because to them the “bad girls” are more attractive than the “good ones.”

This is the reason that guys are hitting on girls on social media at a high rate and hooking up with girls left, center, and right on dating apps. They want the one and done relationships instead of the ones where they have to commit to one girl and “build a relationship” with her. That takes time, energy, effort and work.

Men find bad sexy because the things they plan on doing to bad women are likewise “naughty.” Bad is naughty and naughty is sexy. Good, on the other hand, sounds boring. Their definition of sexy is misinterpreted. And then of course, these same guys think that “bad girls” are better in bed than “good girls” which has been proven to be a myth. The “bad girl” that men are so taken by at times isn’t someone who is morally corrupt, but the challenge that a bad girl poses. One of the factors that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most ‘bad girls’ ride big on the persona they create. Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their true character online.

For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level – and that is why guys have to “test the road” with bad girls first before they settle down with a “good girl.”

Then there is the saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of bravery by being patient and understanding. He’s not really being nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoor and windows to enter your kingdom. There are also those guys that fall into this category:

The too afraid to ask you out “nice guy” who will pass himself “ just a friend” in hopes that you will one day see how great he is, therefore, being the one who asks him out. Then he romances the hell out out of you in hopes that he no longer will be in the “friend zone” but moved to the “boyfriend zone.”

Of course the guy stuck in the friend zone will be thinking that the girl he has the hots for only wants to be with a, “bad boy.” You know the type: The “bad boys” that some women are attracted to are usually nothing more than punks, thugs, and assholes who believe that society’s rules do not apply to them. They are someone who do dangerously interesting stuff that differ from the so called boring everyday of expected routine behavior of other men.

If we say that “bad boys” are not outright criminals, but abusive, arrogant, manipulative men. Well, such men don’t usually show this side of their personality to a woman they want to attract. They are predators, their purpose is to attract potential “prey”, not to scare it off. Abusers and manipulators don’t appear as such until the “prey” has fallen into the trap. So, we cannot say that women are attracted to the abusers or manipulators as such. Women are attracted to the personality they want to show. The issue is actually that abusers and manipulators find it easier to appear confident and comfortable in their skin. On one hand, because they can play any role they want and usually have a lot of practice doing it. On the other hand, because they really don’t care about other people, they don’t really care if they succeed with one particular woman or not. They just move to the next target.

The majority of women are not attracted to “bad boys” because they are “bad”, but because it is easier for such men to make initial contact and take it from there. “Bad boy” romances, being more forbidden/against norm/full of regret stories/full of drama/etc, are simply better topics for gossip than a nice, normal, quiet, healthy romance- think about all the movies, TV shows, and books you have read and tell me which types people prefer. Of course, when you turn on Hallmark Channel, the girl always gets the boy she wants and the bad boy turns good at the end, which in reality is usually never the case.

Good girls, bad boys, nice guys, to bad girls, there is always going to be stereotypes of how people behave when it comes to sex, romance and relationships.

What it should always come down to is finding the right partner. One of the ways to do that is to find someone you can talk to. Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. You might disagree at times, but by being able to be open and honest with each other, leads you to fulfill what you want out of the relationship. When you make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, the rest starts to fall into place. ( Part 3 coming soon…. )

You can purchase my best-selling book which was also nominated for Book of the Year, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid, 2nd Ed”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Blog Series: Book Preview of Relationship Impossible

Introduction: Where we left off in Hello Love, Where’s Cupid?

When I set out to write, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid,” I had no idea that it would hit a lot of nerves with people, on both sides of the argument, in the matter of online dating. Not only did it hit a lot of nerves for those who “believe” in online dating, but I had many questions left to answer. Let’s dive right in to what was discussed:

I talked about social media and relationships, when I mentioned the following:

“Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!”

Before social media came to be, our personal and professional relationships were separated by office walls. Now, through the use of social media, they aren’t. I discussed how social media has effected our lives, for the good and for the bad. That then took us into the discussion on online dating and dating apps.

Misrepresenting yourself on a dating site or app is as easy as a click here and a click there.

See, when you meet someone either at a party or at a bar, you see the person for who the person is ( look wise – no chance to use a fake picture ) and for the most part, they aren’t going to “make up a name” like they can and some do online. You can then actually get their name and do a background check on them yourself. With these dating sites, it’s hard to know if they are being truthful as to who they really are. Another thing that you can decipher in person that you really cannot evaluate online is another person’s sense of humor and connection. Reading a profile just isn’t going to cut it. They can “say” they are the funniest thing around since Seinfeld, but saying it online and actually being funny in person are two different things. And some of the services the websites offer might backfire, causing users to overlook people they might be happy with while choosing people they really don’t “match” up well with due to their answers and how they set up their profiles. At a party you may have two people to choose from, where as on the Internet dating sites, you have hundreds, thousands of different suitors to look over. I also broke the dating code, so to speak, by telling you how each site that “claimed” they had a scientific way of “matching” folks to the “correct” partner worked.

I then got into the conversation on what every site has failed to recognize is that there really is no way to successfully predict that a relationship will last, especially when the most crucial information is not collected:

A) Individual Characteristics of each partner which include personalities, attitudes and if each partner is relatively stable.

B) Quality of interactions – This can only be measured in person, not online. This includes how well the couple will communicate and also support each other.

C) Unforeseen Circumstances – This includes stress, financial problems, cultures, family issues, etc.

With this said, users beware that the only ultimate way to know if a relationship is going to last, is actual face-to-face interaction.

This then went into the stories about scams, lies, and the studies that show that online dating/ dating apps do not work the way they are intended to work, and I list those sites.

I also gave folks a little reminder, “ Your future partner is not a link on a website, he or she is a human being.”

Not only did I talk about the reasons why no one should be using these sites, I even gave you tips if you do want to try these sites. (What can I say, I care.)

I gave tips on how to win an ex back, even though I am totally against going back with an ex for this reason alone: They are called an “ex” for a reason. Now, I am all for second chances, but you need to be extremely sure and confident that the relationship with your ex is worth it.

Also on the table of discussion, was if you are a guy who is looking for a relationship, I gave tips directly from the mouths of single women everywhere. I can tell you all that the first thing that bothers single women is the fact that men today have forgotten about chivalry.

Of course I had advice for women too when I said:

“I can’t make people value me. All I can do is show them who I am, what I feel, and what I believe in. It’s up to them to realize my worth. And what every woman needs to learn is the difference between what you’re getting and what you deserve. Let the universe know this by the way you treat yourself.”

My favorite chapter, and everyone’s favorite chapter was 10 where I used some of my past relationships as lessons for what NOT to do. One of our best learning tools is looking back at our mistakes.

Each relationship has made me into who I am today. There is no way around that. I have not only grown as a person, but I have grown thicker skin, have taken more risks, and learned that life is short. Here are the lessons from that chapter that I wanted to pass along to all of you:

THE KEYS OF WHAT NOT TO DO:

a- Never judge anyone without getting to know them yourself.

b- Just because your boyfriend breaks up with you, doesn’t mean that you need to date someone else right away to replace him. Learn to be alone and recover first, then date later.

c- You don’t need to use your sexuality as a way to gain attention. Use it as a powerful tool to boost yourself confidence instead.

d- Never judge a book by its cover. Just because he looks like a Calvin Klein underwear model ( and is one) does not mean that his personality is as “hot”

e-Don’t give a guy that many chances. The truth is, if he wanted to be with you, he would be with you. Period.

f- If someone shows you their true colors, don’t try and paint a different picture.

g- Finally, don’t take a person you meet online at face value. It’s easy for them to lie about who they are and if they are really using you in their little game. Google them. Find out if they are hiding anything. Always LISTEN to your instincts. When someone is using you, playing you, or things aren’t adding up, your instincts will never lie to you.

To note the 2 relationships I briefly mentioned in the book: The 23 year old and the divorced dad who was in his 40s, those relationships went south. The 23 year old was too scared to turn our relationship into something serious because he literally was afraid of what his friends thought. Yes, guys are that immature and stupid. Also, strong women scare weak men. The 45ish divorced dad proved once and for all that NO ONE should get involved with a soon-to-be divorcee – RED FLAGS were everywhere and eventually were received, noted and dealt with in a timely manner. Both relationships were in separate years too.

Then we pivoted from that to of course talking about some serious topics in the dating world. When you hear the phrase, abusive relationship, usually domestic violence comes to mind, but emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. And the truth is emotional abuse doesn’t just happen to women; it also happens to men and the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied.

There are 3 different types of abuse that happen in relationships: 1) Domestic Violence 2) Rape and 3) Dating abuse. These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

Abuse isn’t always obvious.

Here are some red flags that everyone reading this should know and note:

  • Call you names and put you down
  • Call or text you throughout the day to check on you
  • Keep you from friends or family
  • Control your $
  • Threaten to hurt you, himself/herself, your pet or loved one
  • Hit, Kick, Push, Punch, Slap, Pinch, Choke or Bite you
  • Destroy property or throw things
  • Tell you who you can see or what job you can have
  • Tell you how to dress
  • Act overly jealous
  • Withhold medication or health care
  • Make you have sex or do sexual acts that you don’t want to do
  • Threaten to “out” you if you are gay or lesbian
  • Constantly criticize
  • Embarrass you
  • Blame you for everything – including the abusive behavior

What usually happens after this happens the first time is that the victim makes statements like:

“My partner isn’t violent all the time – they love me”

“Things will get better – they didn’t mean it”

“Maybe it’s my fault”

“I’m scared of what will happen if I leave them”

And the abuse continues.

Remember, most relationships start off with each person acting their best and seeing the other with rose-colored glasses. It never starts off on an abusive note.

There were many other topics we discussed in “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” and the feedback from the book was tremendous. Which leads me to writing this follow up book, “Relationship Impossible”

Here is a brief summary of the topics that will be discussed in the book- note that I am not mentioning EVERY topic.

A. How Covid 19 affected dating

B. How Dating apps and sites actually work

C. Social Media’s Shallow Pitfalls

D. Athletes. Social Media, and Dating Apps

E. Myths: sexual myths, Out of My League Myths, etc.

F. The 7 Selfish Traits

G. How The Me Too Movement Changed Dating

H. The most dangerous / safe states for online dating

And much more.

Of course some of the topics that I have blogged about over the years, will be mentioned and some topics are those that trend on social media like the following: TO BE CONTINUED….. ( Oh, just you wait… )

If you would like to read Hello Love Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed, which was nominated for Book of the Year in 2016, click here or click here