Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Sex, Relationships and The NFL

Being that Friday’s episode of “The Recordings of Fan Girl #Sarcasm” will be about this “lovely” topic of conversation I thought, hey, since I am not doing my regular podcast , Sassy Nation tomorrow, let me divulge you all for a moment.

If you bought my best seller, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed” or the follow up, “Relationship Impossible” you read a couple of things:

Online dating is often touted as the solution to dating frustration. You only have to deal with people who meet your standards. Which really, can’t happen because of choice overload. (Too many options for any one person to handle.) All we have are our words and our photos online. Whereas in person we have hundreds of thousands of verbal and non-verbal clues to give us an intuitive grasp of who we’re talking to and whether or not we’re into them long before we go up and introduce ourselves.

There are many NFL players as I have mentioned that use Tinder and other dating apps to meet up with their “hook up” for the night. As I will mention in the podcast on Friday, you have many players that tend to think they are celebrities, act as if they are better than the average person, and then give in the pressures of this “life” to date a “model-type” girl because, let’s face it, they are very superficial. Now, it’s important for me to mention NOT EVERY NFL player does this- there are some that have morals, values, and are just great down-to-Earth guys. But, I ain’t talking about those guys here. I am talking about the guys that treat women as if they are sex-objects and then complain on social media that they are “gold-diggers” when they created the bandwagon themselves.

Some NFL players have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never
have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.
And they have NO idea just what BAD position they end up putting themselves when they A) use a dating app for a 1 night stand and B) when they buy a girl their attention.

As you will see, online dating isn’t what you think it is anymore. Yes, you may have stories of people who know someone who has met online, but that doesn’t mean that it actually works. What that means is that, that person you know just was lucky enough to meet someone with whom they think they click with. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is going to last either. All it means is that after searching online, that person decided to settle down with someone. With STD’s up 75% and sex offenders using dating sites at an all-time high, if you really want to meet someone, stop putting forth the effort online, and actually go out there and meet people. Network, volunteer, join a church group, go to a coffee shop, sporting event, etc. The point being is, the more you take yourself into real, actual situations, the better chance you have at actually meeting, “ the one.”

The first thing you see online is someone’s profile picture and dating profile. Not only can they post fake pictures, there have been people who post pictures of what they looked like five years ago! They also can tell you they love life when in fact they complain about just about everything. When you meet someone in person, they can’t pretend they don’t really look like that. There’s no fake picture or who they truly are. You can’t read body language through the computer.

Any site that “claims” to be able to match you to your perfect mate if you fill out all 60 questions, is a hoax. There is NO scientific evidence that backs up these algorithms. If they claim that their scientific algorithms work, why do you need to spend 9 -12 months to find someone with whom you should totally click with right away?

When it comes to love it seems we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. First there is a lust, then an attraction, then love. If we get down to the science, attraction happens in the first 30 seconds. You can’t do that online. Dating online is totally different. Two Words: Choice Overload. Not only are there way too many people on these sites, but you would have to have gone out on 100 dates before you actually have chosen your “perfect match.” Now seriously who has time to not only read through all those profiles, but who has actually gone out with 100 people they have met online?

When you go on a search for love, you are looking to settle. But when you let love find you and unexpectedly, you find the person who is meant for you. Online dating is good for one thing, banging and the quick fix while going out and meeting people the traditional way is for those who want the real thing and refuse to settle. You have to show people you are emotionally available to connect and online you can’t feel or see that connection at all. Not only do you connect emotionally faster in person, but pheromones are known to be involved in sexual attraction and during the most fertile time in her menstrual cycle, a woman gives off a different scent which may make her more attractive to potential male suitors. How can you do that online?

We use Yelp to check which restaurant to go to. Pick movies using another app. We are so anxious to control the outcomes that we are unable to take any real risks. We don’t see Andrew or Andrea as people on dating sites, we see Andrew or Andrea, the 70% perfect match. We don’t see them as people, we see them as objects.

A study found that positive personality traits actually increase perceived facial attractiveness. So if you are just basing your choice on looks, you maybe choosing in correctly. When you find someone to date traditionally, you already can see or get a glimpse of that person’s personality while online you are only going by what they are telling you.

When you meet people traditionally, you typically see them in a social context, such as how they interact with workmates, friends and family members. Online is made of words and images.

Researchers estimate that 25% of rapists found people to assault through online dating services and being scammed in person is less likely than online. Online dating is great if you want a casual fling, but not for anything longer lasting because there are so many dishonest people seeking cheap thrills. If a situation arises, you can split fast and a click here or there, you have your next fling. Marriage is down 50% because everyone is falling for the, “Your perfect match can be found on this website,” crap. All that time you “try” and get to know someone online, you could be actually physically getting to know someone you met in person.

With the discussion on dating, it’s not just about love, marriage and then the baby carriage. It’s about finding someone with whom you can foresee yourself spending the rest of your life with, sharing visions and dreams, as well as the possibility for raising up children together. It should not be about finding the “perfect” partner, because there is no such thing. Instead it should be about finding someone who knows that they are lucky to have you. Relationships are a full time job, don’t apply if you aren’t ready.

Most don’t even know HOW the apps actually work:

For example, eHarmony’s system is flawed because it relies on conclusions from married couples and a fundamental premise that similar people will be happy together in the long-term. But married couples often project similarities onto one another and adopt similar interests over time, so those are the results of a relationship rather than what inspires them in the first place. As for Match.com and other dating apps, they gather information like hobbies and interests the same way that Netflix does. They do not gather any information that is related to what will make a user happy in a relationship.

Tinder and Hinge work differently. Essentially, Tinder used an Elo rating system, which is the same method used to calculate the skill levels of chess players: You rose in the ranks based on how many people swiped right on (“liked”) you, but that was weighted based on who the swiper was. The more right swipes that person had, the more their right swipe on you meant for your score. Finally, when there was enough people on Tinder and Hinge, the AL based solely on the ways users select many of the same profiles as other users who are similar to them, and the way one user’s behavior can predict another’s, without ranking people in an explicitly competitive way. So, the longer you’re on an app, the worse the options get. You’ll see Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, PlentyofFish, they all do recycling of people with whom you already said NO to.

This means that people may unknowingly skip over potential mates for the wrong reasons. The person you see on paper doesn’t translate neatly to a real, live human being, and there’s no predicting or accounting for the chemistry you might feel with a person whose online profile was the opposite of what you thought you wanted. Offline, that kind of attraction would spark organically.

Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their
true character online. For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level –

You don’t need the internet for that.

We will discuss Friday: CLICK HERE FOR THE PODCAST

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Football For Dummies ( AKA The Jets Fans)

If there is one group of football fans that surely know how to make me want to vomit, it’s the NY Jets Fans. They head over to social media, mostly Twitter and Facebook, where they boast about their own team losing in hopes of the number pick. I read the guys tweets. I read the guys posts. And then I either want to throw up or bang my head against the wall; it’s a toss up, really.

This fan base is one of the most fickle fan bases I have ever seen. They get all excited when they draft guys they “think” are going to muster up to the expectations and boo the draft picks that actually become great NFL players for other teams, since they dump them quickly. This organization has looked like it has no idea what it has been doing since the last time they won a Superbowl which was 1969. We have seen this organization embarrass itself in more ways than one. There were moments like, Jets legend Joe Namath made a fool of himself (and the franchise) on Dec. 20, 2003 when he drunkenly told ESPN’s Suzy Kolber, “I want to kiss you, I could care less about the team struggling” during a sideline interview. There was Bill Belichick announcing he was resigning as head coach of the New York Jets by writing a note on a napkin. During a game in December 2010, then-Jets strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi intentionally tripped Dolphins punt returner Nolan Carroll along the sideline. Not a great look, really. The Jets suffered a brutal loss to the Dolphins on November 27, 1994, thanks to Dan Marino’s “Clock Play.” In 2015, former Jets quarterback and first-round pick Geno Smith was punched in the face by teammate IK Enemkpali over $600. I mean, I seriously can go on…. and on. But nothing can top those things than seeing the fan base root AGAINST their OWN team and giving up so soon on players developing.

For all the fans that seem to think they know everything here is a little football lesson between college football and the NFL.

First of all the preparation and dedication to the game must be absolute in order to sustain success for a long period of time in the NFL. This is probably the most crucial difference between college and the pros.

The best professional football players learn how to dissect the game and their opponents long before they take the field. College athletes never have the luxury of going so in-depth. So, essentially everyone in college is on a relatively even playing field in terms of preparation.

College football is equalized in preparation opportunity, while the NFL is generally more equalized in physical ability. Guys in the league quickly realize they can no longer rely solely on their physical gifts to be dominant.

The width of the fields are not the same thing. This is the granddaddy issue, and one people never think about. Yes, in a literal sense, pro and college fields are the same width (53 1/3 yards). But in a strategic sense, they’re wildly different. Hashmarks dictate where the ball is spotted. In the NFL, they’re 18 feet, 6 inches apart. In college, they’re 40 feet apart. This means the pro game always begins near the middle of the field, with relatively equal spacing on both sides. That makes for a crisp, tight game, with (initially) balanced formations and coverages.

It’s difficult to compare coaches in college to coaches in the NFL. They are similar yet completely different at the same time. There are a lot of things to take into account when comparing the two – they might be coaching the same sport, but each is an entirely separate world with unique challenges-

Remember, Trevor Lawrence isn’t coming to the NFL with his QB coach, his head coach, his OL, or his WRs. He also needs to learn a completely new offense and gain chemistry with an entire new OL and with his WRs.

Let me remind of you of the TOP QB prospects that NEVER made it in the NFL:

1) Jason White
2) Graham Harrell
3) Johnny Manziel
4) Ryan Leaf
5) Kellen Moore
6) Colt McCoy ( he’s the back up for the Giants- but he never made it as a franchise QB)
7) Case Keenum
8) Eric Crouch

The point being, just because all the “experts” say that Trevor Lawrence is amazing, doesn’t mean that it will translate to the NFL. Remember they have been wrong MANY times before.

Also, Andrew Luck was deemed, the most elite QB since Peyton Manning. He NEVER won a Super Bowl.

You are hoping that “maybe” Trevor will live up to all the hype, while giving up on Sam who definitely has what it takes to be a Franchise QB. Jets fans gave up on Leonard Williams, look at him with the Giants this year – he has 39 tackles and 8.5 sacks so far.
Look at Quentin Williams , you all thought he was trash last year – my point is that fans give up too soon on players and expect that they are going to be perfect the minute they step on the NFL field. Sam Darnold has never had a complete team BUILT around him. Now is the time to do this and build around the small core of players that the team has! He also needs a QB coach that is not going to let him make the same mistakes, and also a coach that is going to highlight his strengths.


Investing in your franchise QB is a business move and if they decide they don’t want to pay him just for that reason alone, then they are not investing in winning. They are in the business of winning and you can’t win if you keep dumping your draft picks 2/3 years later and “start over”, or as Jets fans like to constantly say, “Start Fresh”

You all will look FOOLISH if by chance Joe Douglas does trade Sam and he succeeds somewhere else and Trevor Lawrence doesn’t look so perfect anymore out of that Clemson jersey.

So be careful what you wish for.

Putting your eggs into one basket never works out in your favor.

Ever.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner · 2 Comments

Trevor Lawrence Is NOT The Answer

April 26, 2018 on Twitter: ( FYI I retweeted some of these on my Twitter feed)

You know what the best part of Sam Darnold is? He’s not Josh Allen. #Jets

The #Jets traded up to 3 and were mocked. They have arguably the best QB fall into their lap and take him. Well done Maccagnan #NFLDraft

Uncle Sam gonna take us to the promise land

I have been saying it for 2 years now. Suck for Sam!!! And it came true. Spoke it to existence.. Welcome to the New York Jets Sam Darnold!!!!! #jets #nfl
#myqb #winner

The #Jets ended up with Sam Darnold. The @nyjets
I’m still in shock and filled with joy. Special shout out to the #Browns
and #Giants too for making this happen. Love it! #NFLDraft

Still hyped about the #SAMDARNOLD pick by the #Jets. Getting the best QB in the draft at 3 is a steal. #NFLDraft

There were MANY happy Jets fans gushing that they indeed did get the BEST QB in the draft in 2018, yet they all want to FORGET this and forget that it’s a process, DROP him and go with the new Shiny New Toy …. again. Yes, I know that Trevor was the talk of town yesterday against Georgia Tech. Yes, I know that beat writers and everyone who talks about football is gushing over him. And yes, I know Trevor Lawrence beat Alabama in last year’s championship and I am NOT taking that away from him BUT here is why Clemson won, and it was NOT because of Lawrence.

First off, the defense on Alabama only rush only four and drop seven into coverage.

Four didn’t get it done against Clemson. Note that Trevor Lawrence isn’t the most mobile quarterback in college football, but he didn’t need to be against Alabama because he was allowed to stand as long as he pleased in the pocket and pick out his receivers. With Alabama neutralized up front, that left the defensive backs vulnerable to Lawrence and his talented receivers. Lawrence completed 20 of 32 passes for 347 yards, and while he’s good, he needed star receiver Justyn Ross to bail him out on bad throws twice! ( Oh my God … he had bad throws … just like Sam makes at times!)

Last year it as “Tank for Tua.” Now, Tua Tagovailoa is a talented player, no question but he seems to have only have one gear. He did it twice against Clemson, with one pass returned for a touchdown and the second pick setting up another score. So the defense of Alabama scored not because of Trevor Lawrence. Alabama turned over the ball on downs three times, including once on that fake field goal. The problem is that Alabama’s offense can never waste opportunities, because its defense rarely creates turnovers. That has nothing do with Trevor Lawrence and everything to do with Alabama. FYI: when Nick Saban faked the field goal rather than having Joseph Bulovas try a medium-range kick, was he doing so because he didn’t like Bulovas’ odds of making it?

Right now Trevor Lawrence is the shiny new toy that everyone wants. The Jets haven’t done enough to surround Darnold with actual, talented football players, and chances are, if Trevor Lawrence is put in a similar situation, he might not be better off. The Jets need a blueprint on how to properly nurture and develop a QB, they had Josh McCown here during Sam’s rookie year, but they stupidly let him go after that. Remember, draft picks mean nothing unless you can develop young players; the Jets are the epitome of that notion.

Now I know passing on a “once in a lifetime talent ” at quarterback might be a mistake, but drafting one and setting him up to fail — like his predecessor — might be a bigger one. You can’t just always go for the SHINY NEW TOY. It’s like relationships, people give up on those these days way too easily. They don’t want to put in the work, they just want the perfection and the trophy. To have a relationship you need to start with a foundation before you can have the roof. To have a winning team you need to have the core and build around it. To have success you can’t keep dumping and building. Go ask those who given up if they succeeded, they will have to tell you that they failed. You can’t look back at where you’ve been, but where you are going. Yes, the past shapes us in every aspect, but if we ever want to be in the promise land we can’t keep making the same mistakes.

Dropping Sam Darnold for Trevor Lawrence is making the same mistake. Especially if you look at Tanehill’s numbers post-coach Gase: With Gase 65.9% COMP PCT Without Gase: 69.9% COMP PCT With Gase: 93.2 Passer Rating Without Gase: 115.4 Passer Rating.

So may be the answer for Sam Darnold is simple: Once Gase goes, Sam’s stats go in a better direction: UP.

But giving up on him, should not be the option. Surrounding him with talent and a coach that showcases his strengths not highlights his weaknesses should be the first thing Joe Douglas does. If the Jets ever want to be successful, then they need to stop the madness and save the Quarterback who has the skills and the talent needed to be their franchise for the next ten years. Or they risk giving another team that opportunity when they trade him for the shiny new toy. Maybe one day the Jets can thank themselves for not giving up on Darnold but for believing in him and building a team around him. Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.

“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”