My hot mess Summer began June 23rd… but officially started July 1st. Yesterday I got the keycard to my office space for my company in NYC on 5th freaking avenue!!
So..What’s a hot mess summer you ask?
Well, it’s me being my real self, no photoshop, going out and living my best summer’s life! Usually you see girls talk about a hot girl summer, but I say fuck that shit! Seriously, we should love who we are and not try to be this fake person just to be accepted by society. All the girls who have hot girl summers do the same shit: generally characterized by an emphasis on promiscuity, immodesty, and partying. Having a “hot girl summer” means not being tied down by a boyfriend, dressing “hot”, and living wild. I hate to burst everyone’s bubble on that, but having a hot mess summer is all about being confident, having fun and not caring what others think. It’s going out there and living your best life.
June 23rd it started at LBI … my family has a house there and I spent some time relaxing and spending time with my parents, brother, sister in law, niece and nephew. We had a good time. We went to the arcade and I actually won a stuffed animal from those claw games! My nephew won his lava lamp while my niece won her pink pillow friend. It was a blast.
July 4th was about my neighborhood and watching these really cool fireworks they let off. Also went shopping , spent time watching Christmas movies ( Christmas in July) and also I do love to read in the summer. I also started painting my seashells. I paint the inside of the shell ( I will have to post a photo on Twitter)
July 7th – Yesterday – I went to NYC to get my keycard for my office space I will be using for a slew of projects. It’s on 5th Ave and it is so freaking awesome! I posted some photos on Twitter, IG and Threads. I have ALWAYS been a city girl ever since I was 14. I worked back in the city in my early 20s and since then I have been in love with NYC. It’s where I belong and I am doing everything that my soul finds joy in. And the best part is the office building has summer networking events and stuff, so I get to meet new people which I love to do!
I have started asking Jacob Trouba, Ryan Lindgren and Vincent Trocheck from the NY Rangers to do a FUN segment with me for yes my podcast and this blog called Coffee With The Captain and Teammates… but of course, it’s going to be a cruel summer with them. Oh, I also asked Jack Hughes, Dawson Mercer and Nico Hischier of the NJ Devils too, ( the 3 cutest on the NJD- the guys on the NYR are hot but a competition is always good. And oh, yeah, I got options.)
I am a cheerleader, cheerleading coach/choreographer so like duh.. this segment is going to be the most gimme a F-U-N these guys will EVER have.. that is a guarantee. Heck, if they want I will bring my poms and do a cheer for them. If these dudes want to break Twitter and IG… they will if they are smart enough to say yes to me.
I also started writing the follow up to my book, “The Diary of a Drama Queen” where one of my old haters decided to leave me a bad review on my book. Seriously, I get a kick out that. I have a couple of those that seem to “follow” my every move. If you can believe it, from the Twitter War of 2010 -2011 this girl STILL is obsessed with me and tried to follow my youtube channel and IG account. Like my god… SO, yeah I have fans and a haters club. (I say this as sassy as I can… lucky me)
I also am on Cameo… here’s my link if you want to hire me to send a cheer to anyone… or if you need that comeback for your social media troll. CLICK HERE
I introduce the following video for you to 1) Get to know a little bit more of me 2) I have been asking Jacob Trouba, Vincent Trocheck and Ryan Lindgren to do a segment with me called Coffee With The Captain and Teammates… ( I want to add Lexi but he is still a RFA) So I created this video for them to get to know me and be more comfortable to get to know me….
BTW.. You can follow me on Twitter too! The link below is the video I posted there PLUS give me a follow!
For the last 3 months or so, guys have been brave and sliding into my DMs … but of course… either looking desperate, trying pick up lines, or showing their jealously as to the “age range” that I have made clear as to whom I will date. The video below pretty much speaks for itself… then let me continue…
I had no idea that so many guys over the age of 35 would be attacking me over my choice to date younger guys… and oh, hockey players. When I mentioned this it’s like all these guys older than 35 came out of the wood-works and had to ask me directly … and then some of them even were brave enough to shot their shot ( that I will give credit too!) Now, I don’t have to validate my reasons for what I want and I don’t have to ask permission either. But what I will do is spell it out as clearly as I can. 1) Yes, I date guys who are 23-32 BUT I have dated guys that are 21 and 22… there are always exceptions to what I feel I want to do but with that said, don’t get your hopes up if you’re older than 35…(or 34) that rule of mine is staying put.
2) Cheerleaders belong with athletes. Period. We go together like peanut butter and jelly, cookies and milk, bread and butter… hello?! Yes, I know all about the stereotypical ideas put out there into the world about cheerleaders: ( They are dumb, they sleep around, they lack talent, blah blah blah) so trust me when folks hear that I used to be one and still in the industry men think they can easily “land me” but that’s not true at all. If anything, I am hard to “land” since I have high standards and will not go against those. I will gladly give an athlete a chance, but if he only thinks I deserve bare minimum, he’s got another thing coming! Yes, I don’t need to be nor want to be their 1st priority. Their 1st priority should be to their career/ team, but seriously there needs to be a BALANCE . So trust me right now when I say, that if I like you, take that seriously as a compliment. I don’t need anyone to complete me, I WANT someone in my life to grow and build with… that’s the difference.
When guys say to me in DMs that the “only” reason I want to be a hockey player is because of how they “look physically” I giggle and roll my eyes. I don’t give a shit about a man’s hairline, if he has 6-pack abs, buns of steel, muscles, etc. .. that to me is a bonus, not a reason to want to date anyone. The mindset, attitude , character and personality of a hockey player is the main reason why I am attracted to them. Being that I am an ex-athlete and a current coach, I have the exact same mindset as they do… plus I understand the demands of their job, support them 125% and am as loyal as fuck (I have people who back me up on that BTW)
I have you all know that I ALWAYS NEVER dated: doctors, male nurses, lawyers, cops, firefighters, or guys in the military. Why? Well, doctors/nurses/lawyers hours are NUTS. They are NEVER around when you need them. Their jobs are demanding and oh, forget about kids… if I had kids with a guy who did one of those things for a living I would NEVER see him- neither would the kid. Vice Versa if a guy marries a female who does those things… a nanny mostly would be raising those kids! As for Cops, Firefighters and military dudes…their jobs are just way too dangerous and I would be a wreck worrying about them – that is not something I want to do.
Now, going back to the hockey player point being, as too what I am talking about in regards to personality, attitude and character; look at this story on a hockey player and what he did for a fan: Click here to read the story But to phrase this tweet: A couple weeks ago after a Columbus Blue Jackets victory, a guy witnessed a young girl bawling her eyes out while talking to a mutual friend in the concourse. He asked her what was wrong. She explained she was near glass waiting to get Korpi’s autographed stick. After he was announced as the first star, Korpi took a victory lap and pointed right at her, tossed the souvenir stick up over the glass. It landed in this little girl’s hands for a split second until someone behind her snatched it from her grip. She was inconsolable…. you can guess what the rest of the story is, right? This hockey player made it right. You hardly see that with other athletes unless it’s being recorded for their social media to show that “they care” This was NOT recorded. This happened and a guy told everyone on Twitter what an awesome dude Korpi was!
3) As asked in my DMs: “So, you’re just going to say no to other dudes who aren’t hockey players? Aren’t your standards to high?” My answer in a tweet: “You’re standards are too high” Well those standards protect me from low quality experiences. So I’m not afraid to say no! See, I know what I bring to the table. I am the prize. I am a rare breed. This is just another reason why folks should get off those dating apps… if you see what options are left, then you would understand NOT to settle just to settle. And remember what I have said previously, men marry the woman in front of them not necessarily the woman they are meant to be with because they settled when they should have said no. Here is that blog post
4) It’s always the most laid-back women made out to look complicated and crazy by a men who didn’t even try providing her with the basics of what she deserves. See, I don’t settle for bare minimum and NO ONE should settle for that- ever! I ALWAYS tell folks that if you think I am too much, go find less. ( BTW that is what you will find on a dating app) Date someone who’s interested in you. And I don’t mean someone who finds you funny & cute. I mean someone who genuinely wants to get to know you. Find the person who wants to get to know every aspect of who you are because that is a keeper.
5) “So, you only want to then date guys from your favorite team, right?” Another fabulous DM I received the other day! And to answer it: Well, maybe. The guys who shoot their shot GET a shot! And who’s to say that guys from other hockey teams are not in my DMs now? Um, hello! I don’t tweet out or post out WHO I am talking too… EVER. That’s a major rule of mine. Trustworthiness is something I take seriously and I don’t screenshot conversations either. Like I said previously, it doesn’t matter how much I like a guy, if he ain’t up to task of at least getting to know me, I don’t chase, I replace.
6) “So, why young guys and not guys that are older?” Simply put: young guys want to grow, they want to build something, they want adventures and they are not afraid to leave their comfort zone as are older guys. Older men LIVE in their comfort zone. Older men try to “tame” me where younger guys enjoy my carefree spirit and the way I carry myself. I never have been with a younger guy (athletes) who cared so much about how smart I was, especially as a blonde, cared about me having my own company, or cared about how spontaneous I am at times. Older guys… ha!
7) Closing, if you follow me on Twitter you know that I love having conversation and my vibe I bring is very magnetic. (Hey, all these years doing cheerleading and dance brought that out in me.) I am ALWAYS open to meeting new people, no matter anyone’s age, and if you’re a guy and know that there is no chance in hell of ever dating me, but you enjoy having conversation on numerous topics, hit me up. I make a great platonic friend in that , I will always have your back. If anyone ever feels that they need someone to listen to them or needs advice, my DMs are always open. I want to be the light for someone who feels that they don’t have that. Life is better when you are caring, compassionate and kind.
And you don’t need to date me in order for me to do that.
First and Foremost, the new podcast is up and it’s for your ears only.CLICK HERE to listen.
Sorry, folks, no video podcast this week, maybe next week…
Fashion Segment
Now, some words may be centered off… that is because it’s Youtube Shorts. But the point being is that Hockey Boys Got It Going On! #FashionAve though, belongs to the NY Rangers. But the best dressed athlete is a NHL player. IF you haven’t seen the last 4 videos …. Here they are! They also are on my twitter feed.
Dating Segment ( a quickie – pun intended)
You can tell a lot about an athlete and his character, what he values, etc by who he follows on IG. Guys who are superficial, narcissistic and materialistic will ALWAYS follow the girls on IF we are half naked in their profile pics AND they will NEVER post about the girl who they are with ONLY story her so others can slide into their DMS and they can slide into theirs. Also athletes who have private IG accounts I would be worried about- that shows 1) they hide shit 2) they can’t handle the social media trolls. Also if a girl goes out with you for coffee, pizza, shopping at Target, the girl is into you and only cares about spending time with you- she’s not into you for what you can give her- she’s into you for YOU! I talk more about this on the podcast – LINK On top of this post!
If you saw the racy video of the panties on Twitter…. I talk about it in the podcast. (give you guys a creative hint for Valentine’s Day!)
As always I have my fashion brand where you can purchase sweatshirts/T-shirts I created. CLICK This wonderful link to go to that site.
I believe women should always find the classiest way to empower their sexuality – The devilish girl coming out to play… so if you can’t handle it, then don’t click the link. PS: you’ll have to subscribe for the content but I give you a little tease if you will (The video from twitter is here but I put it on youtube for this blog) CLICK THIS
I seriously need to learn how to speak stupid since most people don’t understand that they can’t keep crossing people’s boundaries and expect that to be okay.
Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Unfortunately social media stalking has become so normalized and I don’t mean spying on someone by looking at what they are posting and what they are saying. I mean flat out stalking. You post something, they reply. You talk to someone else, they interrupt the conversation by forcing themselves within the conversation. You flirt with someone, they act all jealous by saying something they think is funny when it’s rude.
You get the gist of what I am saying. That is NOT normal. That is NOT acceptable. That is stalking plain and simple.
What is worse is when they start Dming you to gaslight and manipulate you into talking to them when you are trying your best to avoid them and avoid the drama that goes along with that. Remember, Gaslighting is when they insist you said or did things you know you didn’t do. Call you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs or concerns. Often people gaslight because being right allows them to validate themselves. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. They are trying to get you to feel that you are at fault not them for their behavior.
There are boundaries that NO ONE should EVER cross when on social media and that making someone feel uncomfortable on a social media platform. Sometimes we do things without knowing that we are being that way and then there people who clearly know what they are doing and they don’t care how they make others feel. I have boundaries on line and no one is allowed to cross them. I don’t care who they hell you are, if you make me question why I am following you, why I am talking to you and why I am allowing you to follow me, then I act quickly and I block your ass.
There are certain social media etiquette rules that people tend to forget, so the reality is, social media is social interaction. It’s not just like real life; it is real life. So act accordingly by asking yourself before posting anything: Would I be comfortable saying this face to face? In the ‘real’ world, would you randomly approach an acquaintance and ask them for a favor?” Would you jump into a conversation with strangers without some context? Accept a gift without saying ‘thank you’?” Just because you are online doesn’t mean that these real life rules don’t apply. IF someone is PUBLICLY flirting with someone and YOU ARE NOT THE PERSON THEY ARE FLIRTING WITH STAY OUT OF THE CONVERSATION! Just because it’s a public forum, like Twitter, doesn’t mean that people need your 2 cents with EVERY SINGLE TWEET! When you do that you look like a jealous asshole who can’t contain him/herself and think you need to part of the conversation when it doesn’t concern YOU!
When you follow people, on ANY platform DO NOT LIKE OLD PHOTOS. That is the biggest stalking red flag. Do not belittle others, downgrade others or bully others on a public forum. First off it’s just rude and uncalled for. Secondly it does not make you look like a tough guy/girl, it makes you look small and insecure.
Know when to comment and when to be part of a conversation. There are many times that I see people having a serious conversation or they are so engrossed in the conversation on Twitter or even Facebook that I don’t bother to get involved. I will read the conversation, but I know my place. I know WHEN to comment and WHEN to stay out. I also know HOW to be an adult in a conversation which means that if you can’t talk to me nicely, and you start acting childish, I automatically block you.
Don’t be afraid to mute people or block them. You should NEVER feel uncomfortable using ANY platform and if someone is making you feel that way, you have EVERY right to protect your sanity and your boundaries.
Social media should be a place where you meet new friends, network, entertain others and also advertise businesses. Let’s all try to keep it that way.
This here and the pinstriped suit that Jacob wore last game have been his 2 best! Here he looks incredibly dapper, chic, and a little rough-edged. The Scruff on his face, the open long jacket… his tie all bring together his look. Mama Mia!
Bread loves his pinstriped suit as well, and has that pizzazz that only he can have when wearing it. The best thing is that he has the jacket buttoned which show you his broad-shouldered silhouette.
Julien has incredible style! Here he has a great color combo – but what does it for me is the tie with the belt and NO jacket. The last picture of him shows that he can be laidback but aslso edgy in his attire.
Braden Schneider knows how to make a suit look good on him. It’s a checkered suit, which most guys can’t pull off, but the tie and open jacket make it look amazing on him.
Guys on this team have the knack of picking out greats that pull the entire look together. ( Igor, Kakko and Kravy)
Foxy is sleek and sophisticated as you would predict- no tie and he is wearing a T-shirt under his button down shirt- that adds mystery. He also has that scruff on his face which adds the rough-edge to him. He looks like he can be on the cover of GQ.
Vinny T- has a unique style all of his own- wearing checkered suits, interesting ties, but in this video he shows you how he can putt it off without the tie, which is VERY impressive.
Then of course Ryan Lindgren. He projects himself as someone who is successful and reliable. The best thing about his blue suit is that, there are different ways to dress it up and look freaking incredible each time. In this video, notice how he takes a plain man’s dress shirt ( not a button down shirt) and unbuttons the top 2 buttons on it, keeps the jacket open with NO tie. This makes him irresistible.
I started writing about dating back in 2008, back when online dating started. I said back then that it was a crazy idea that was going to get folks into trouble, and in 2022, I am still correct. Dating via looking at a dating app is such a superficial and careless way to date. Period. You are trusting some dude on the other end of the app with your heart, your body, your emotions, and your wallet. When more than half the time that dude is either a two timer, rapist, ex-criminal, scam artist, sex offender, or just a plain douche bag looking to hook up. Dating shouldn’t be casual, either. I never quite understood how someone could just “casually” date someone while doing all the things that a couple does while dating. If you don’t have the time to devote to building something meaningful, then there is no point to dating. Period. Dating is more than just having fun in the sheets too. I mean, yes, sex is part of dating as it should be, but if you develop feelings for the other person and they don’t feel the same, you can end up getting hurt. Not to mention that you just wasted precious time with someone who didn’t care about having a relationship with you, they just wanted to have sex with you as in “Friends with benefits” and “casually” hang out with you when they have “time.”
Recently on Twitter some dude reached out to me via DM since he listens to my podcast all the time, and asked me, “What is it really like to date you?” That question is not an easy question to answer, seriously. Sure, I am fun, adventurous, spontaneous, have high energy, and am seriously easy going until you cross me, but how do you really answer that question? So in my sassy and sarcastic way, I answered it this way:
The pros and cons of dating me are ironically my mouth.
There I said it. #sarcasm but really the truth.
I’m not going to be known as a woman who was afraid to open her mouth and speak up against hate, and I know what I bring to the table and I am proud of being that rare breed in today’s society where you need to be a woman who is “submissive and flaky” to get a guy. At the same time, when I mention this, guys automatically think “slutty” and like I have said before, the fact that guys want girls to act this way and girls think they need to act slutty to get noticed by that athlete or by that guy they have their eyes on, is just completely trash. You can be sassy, sweet, seductive and sensual while at the same time being classy. That is the woman a real man will want anyway. Boys wants slutty. I don’t want a boy, I want a man. Period. You want to be treated like the classy bitch you are- not a doormat.
As I talk about trash, I also think about all the porn I have seen on Twitter in the last few months and I have to say it is the most distasteful thing to ever post on a social media site. Porn is a billion dollar industry and still is, but to post that on a social media site where kids are, and where folks go to have a conversation is so uncalled for. Now I am certainly no prude, as I talk about sex and if you read my best seller, “Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” I told readers of the most interesting positions to try. Yes, Back in the day as a full time blogger, I wrote for many online sites that talked about sex and people would message me and ask me for new things to try in the bedroom. I wrote for a site like Cosmo, called Rant Dating, for those who are interested to know. It doesn’t exist anymore but it was fun to work on, especially when I interviewed a condom company and did an “influencer” post for them before we even knew what a social media influencer was!
Also I have mentioned of course how the TV show, “Sex and the City” changed how women viewed sex, as it has always been a touchy subject when it came to the topic. But there are places to put it and places not to. And if that’s what you’re into, great. I have no problem with it. The problem I have is the fact that people are dumb enough to not only post it on Twitter, but then retweet it. Here is the social media tip that some need: When you Retweet something EVERY ONE of YOUR FOLLOWERS get to see that on their feed. This is NOT what your followers want to see. Now, if you want to create a DM group conversation on the porn you love to watch, go for it.
This particular blog post is broken down in 3 segments – the Podcast with Link, The Fashion segment and the dating segment. A little something for everyone!
Also, we continue the countdown from the NY Rangers 2016 team of the TOP dressers! We’re up to Number 2: That is no one other than Mats Zuccarello Here are the photos:
Look at how chic, dapper and playful . Look at how he can make a suit look REALLY good without a tie! He wears the vest over the shirt and that brings it all together.
Here he is classy and organized.
I ALWAYS talk about how the TIE brings the ENTIRE suit together. Not to mention his shoes. Accessories are so important, even for men.
Even with casual clothing he brings the swagger A simple T-shirt and jogger pants look chic and polished.
DATING SEGMENT
There’s a lot to be said about a girl who isn’t afraid to go after what she wants. Sometimes that in itself rubs people the wrong way, especially when you are extremely secure within yourself. I posted this quote on Twitter the other day, and it’s so true. “Lowkey, to date me you gotta be mentally strong because I’ll push all your buttons. Even ones you didn’t even know you had.”
We have discussed in the past about how guys are simply afraid of dating an independent woman and I have mentioned that for athletes, an independent woman is the best match for them simply because they need to focus on their careers and it is extremely demanding!
Here’s reasons to date an independent woman ( like me)
First thing is to understand that her actions are deliberate and there’s a reason behind them. The secondly thing you need to know is that an independent woman isn’t afraid to speak her mind! She is also going to be very loyal and very supportive. Being that I am a former cheerleader and have been coaching cheerleading for years, this statement is truth. I will always want my man to be successful at whatever he does and I will push him as best as I can to go after his dreams. Dating an independent woman doesn’t mean that she won’t be dependent on her partner- no, we depend on our partners to provide love, attention, affection and also support us as we chase our dreams, we just aren’t clingy. I don’t look to a relationship for validation at all. I look to a relationship as a team. To some this may be surprising, even though we enjoy challenges and competition, we’re usually uninterested in playing games or chasing a crush. If we flirt we you, that means we want you. If you take too long to reciprocate, we move on to someone who will. That may seem, “mean,” but we shouldn’t have to wait forever for you to make that move to make us official.
I have asked guys out in the past, or at least hinted that I wanted to go out with someone. Then of course, still, some guys have to be the one to ask you out. Okay, I’ll bite, and I will sit back and watch you and wait for awhile, but if you wait way too long, even though I am extremely attracted to you and feel sexual tension, I will go and pay attention to someone else and move on from you, even if that kills me. Girls like me don’t come around often. Why should I have to sit around and wait around for you to finally decide that you want to go out with me?
I know what I bring to the table. I am a rare breed. (As are true independent women are!)
The best advice that I can give guys is this: If a girl wants to BUILD with you and is SUPPORTIVE while she’s building up her own dreams, don’t give her a chance to even look at another guy. If she ONLY wants to build with YOU… don’t be a jackass and let your ego or pride or anyone allow you to mess it up.
Also, I always laugh when I hear that other guys are whispering about me to the guy that I want. It’s like they are so incredibly jealous that they tell him not to take the chance of a lifetime with me since they can’t have me. Like, how much of an asshole of person do you have to be that you don’t want your teammate or friend to be happy? This is why I stay out of telling my friends who to ask out or date. I am not the one who lives with the decision- they are! And I don’t want to be the reason they missed out on a great experience going out with someone they want to because of how I feel.
And of course the jealous fuck girls will go out of their way to make themselves “known” in the process- ( If you listened to my podcast I talked about this!) This is why I only date guys with the warrior mentality. They too are a strong & independent people who aren’t intimidated by me. We actually can have a lot of fun together and like I said on the podcast, if you are into adventure, sarcasm, and want that personal cheerleader in every which way possible – you’d jump up on the chance of lifetime. Anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind. Remember, Be savage, not average. Unless, you just want basic.
You can listen to this week’s #NYR podcast simply by clicking HERE
Michael Grabner is our # 3 of the best dressed for the team in 2016 ( Remember, I am not picking guys that are STILL on the team now) The first picture shows you how Michael Grabner was a classic dresser and he wanted to wear clothing that will never go out of style. The the second picture I would describe as The Rebel. ( See how he pushed the two together here : hockey and fashion!?
COMING up on the Fashion segment …. we will visit other teams and see how they compare against the NY Rangers. And maybe have a competition with it.
Here is the latest Fashion video I created: CLICK HERE
AND here’s the video I mentioned in the podcast- the appreciation video on Ryan Lindgren – CLICK
Here’s the Twitter Video for Ryan- he’s a Norris Trophy Nominee in my eyes – Lucky Star
On my winning podcast “The Recordings of A Fan girl #Sarcasm ” I talk about fashion and hockey boys; specifically the NY Rangers. This Friday 10/ 28 I will judge these looks ( plus some others- look at the photos below)
I’ll give a hint here: 😍😎🤩🥵Adam Fox Ryan Reaves K’Andre Miller
The Podcast link will be updated in this post Friday. In the meantime… enjoy the videos/photos
Stephanie 's Corner 