It’s a Hot Mess Summer

Join me for my hot mess summer!
My hot mess Summer began June 23rd… but officially started July 1st.
Yesterday I got the keycard to my office space for my company in NYC on 5th freaking avenue!!

So..What’s a hot mess summer you ask?

Well, it’s me being my real self, no photoshop, going out and living my best summer’s life! Usually you see girls talk about a hot girl summer, but I say fuck that shit! Seriously, we should love who we are and not try to be this fake person just to be accepted by society. All the girls who have hot girl summers do the same shit: generally characterized by an emphasis on promiscuity, immodesty, and partying. Having a “hot girl summer” means not being tied down by a boyfriend, dressing “hot”, and living wild.
I hate to burst everyone’s bubble on that, but having a hot mess summer is all about being confident, having fun and not caring what others think. It’s going out there and living your best life.

June 23rd it started at LBI … my family has a house there and I spent some time relaxing and spending time with my parents, brother, sister in law, niece and nephew. We had a good time. We went to the arcade and I actually won a stuffed animal from those claw games! My nephew won his lava lamp while my niece won her pink pillow friend. It was a blast.

July 4th was about my neighborhood and watching these really cool fireworks they let off. Also went shopping , spent time watching Christmas movies ( Christmas in July) and also I do love to read in the summer. I also started painting my seashells. I paint the inside of the shell ( I will have to post a photo on Twitter)

July 7th – Yesterday – I went to NYC to get my keycard for my office space I will be using for a slew of projects. It’s on 5th Ave and it is so freaking awesome! I posted some photos on Twitter, IG and Threads.
I have ALWAYS been a city girl ever since I was 14. I worked back in the city in my early 20s and since then I have been in love with NYC. It’s where I belong and I am doing everything that my soul finds joy in. And the best part is the office building has summer networking events and stuff, so I get to meet new people which I love to do!

I have started asking Jacob Trouba, Ryan Lindgren and Vincent Trocheck from the NY Rangers to do a FUN segment with me for yes my podcast and this blog called Coffee With The Captain and Teammates… but of course, it’s going to be a cruel summer with them. Oh, I also asked Jack Hughes, Dawson Mercer and Nico Hischier of the NJ Devils too, ( the 3 cutest on the NJD- the guys on the NYR are hot but a competition is always good. And oh, yeah, I got options.)

I am a cheerleader, cheerleading coach/choreographer so like duh.. this segment is going to be the most gimme a F-U-N these guys will EVER have.. that is a guarantee. Heck, if they want I will bring my poms and do a cheer for them.
If these dudes want to break Twitter and IG… they will if they are smart enough to say yes to me.

I also started writing the follow up to my book, “The Diary of a Drama Queen” where one of my old haters decided to leave me a bad review on my book. Seriously, I get a kick out that. I have a couple of those that seem to “follow” my every move. If you can believe it, from the Twitter War of 2010 -2011 this girl STILL is obsessed with me and tried to follow my youtube channel and IG account. Like my god… SO, yeah I have fans and a haters club. (I say this as sassy as I can… lucky me)

I also am on Cameo… here’s my link if you want to hire me to send a cheer to anyone… or if you need that comeback for your social media troll.
CLICK HERE

Until next time…

What you know bout me? What you-what you know?

I introduce the following video for you to 1) Get to know a little bit more of me 2) I have been asking Jacob Trouba, Vincent Trocheck and Ryan Lindgren to do a segment with me called Coffee With The Captain and Teammates… ( I want to add Lexi but he is still a RFA)
So I created this video for them to get to know me and be more comfortable to get to know me….

BTW.. You can follow me on Twitter too! The link below is the video I posted there PLUS give me a follow!

Click Here

Let me touch your shirt so I can tell you if it’s boyfriend material.

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow, let the jokes rip. Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? Seriously?

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Dan: When I meet a woman over 30, she’s usually very clear and focused. She knows what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act foolish and immature. I don’t have time for that drama—that’s why I like mature women.

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

I should add though, older women are likely to have a stable career and be financially secure. So, when she chooses a partner, it tends not to be about wealth. She tends to be with someone she WANTS not someone she NEEDS and that is the one thing that separates the girls from the women. Women who are independent do just fine without a man, so if they want you, you must be pretty damn special to her! And being with someone who admires her, supports her and is 100% intrigued about her is exactly why it never seems to work out with older guys.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)

Dating, Sex, and all that Jazz

I started writing about dating back in 2008, back when online dating started. I said back then that it was a crazy idea that was going to get folks into trouble, and in 2022, I am still correct.
Dating via looking at a dating app is such a superficial and careless way to date. Period.
You are trusting some dude on the other end of the app with your heart, your body, your emotions, and your wallet. When more than half the time that dude is either a two timer, rapist, ex-criminal, scam artist, sex offender, or just a plain douche bag looking to hook up.
Dating shouldn’t be casual, either. I never quite understood how someone could just “casually” date someone while doing all the things that a couple does while dating. If you don’t have the time to devote to building something meaningful, then there is no point to dating. Period. Dating is more than just having fun in the sheets too. I mean, yes, sex is part of dating as it should be, but if you develop feelings for the other person and they don’t feel the same, you can end up getting hurt. Not to mention that you just wasted precious time with someone who didn’t care about having a relationship with you, they just wanted to have sex with you as in “Friends with benefits” and “casually” hang out with you when they have “time.”

Recently on Twitter some dude reached out to me via DM since he listens to my podcast all the time, and asked me, “What is it really like to date you?” That question is not an easy question to answer, seriously. Sure, I am fun, adventurous, spontaneous, have high energy, and am seriously easy going until you cross me, but how do you really answer that question? So in my sassy and sarcastic way, I answered it this way:

The pros and cons of dating me are ironically my mouth.

There I said it. #sarcasm but really the truth.

I’m not going to be known as a woman who was afraid to open her mouth and speak up against hate, and I know what I bring to the table and I am proud of being that rare breed in today’s society where you need to be a woman who is “submissive and flaky” to get a guy. At the same time, when I mention this, guys automatically think “slutty” and like I have said before, the fact that guys want girls to act this way and girls think they need to act slutty to get noticed by that athlete or by that guy they have their eyes on, is just completely trash. You can be sassy, sweet, seductive and sensual while at the same time being classy. That is the woman a real man will want anyway. Boys wants slutty. I don’t want a boy, I want a man. Period. You want to be treated like the classy bitch you are- not a doormat.

As I talk about trash, I also think about all the porn I have seen on Twitter in the last few months and I have to say it is the most distasteful thing to ever post on a social media site. Porn is a billion dollar industry and still is, but to post that on a social media site where kids are, and where folks go to have a conversation is so uncalled for. Now I am certainly no prude, as I talk about sex and if you read my best seller, “Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” I told readers of the most interesting positions to try. Yes, Back in the day as a full time blogger, I wrote for many online sites that talked about sex and people would message me and ask me for new things to try in the bedroom. I wrote for a site like Cosmo, called Rant Dating, for those who are interested to know. It doesn’t exist anymore but it was fun to work on, especially when I interviewed a condom company and did an “influencer” post for them before we even knew what a social media influencer was!

Also I have mentioned of course how the TV show, “Sex and the City” changed how women viewed sex, as it has always been a touchy subject when it came to the topic. But there are places to put it and places not to. And if that’s what you’re into, great. I have no problem with it. The problem I have is the fact that people are dumb enough to not only post it on Twitter, but then retweet it. Here is the social media tip that some need: When you Retweet something EVERY ONE of YOUR FOLLOWERS get to see that on their feed. This is NOT what your followers want to see. Now, if you want to create a DM group conversation on the porn you love to watch, go for it.

Just keep it classy on Twitter.

I’m next level so legit with all my chic!

This particular blog post is broken down in 3 segments – the Podcast with Link, The Fashion segment and the dating segment. A little something for everyone!

*** Podcast Segment and Link CLICK HERE ****

The Fashion Segment

Here are links to the latest fashion videos. 1 is ALL NY Rangers and the other is titled the men of the NHL

Also, we continue the countdown from the NY Rangers 2016 team of the TOP dressers! We’re up to Number 2: That is no one other than Mats Zuccarello Here are the photos:

Look at how chic, dapper and playful . Look at how he can make a suit look REALLY good without a tie! He wears the vest over the shirt and that brings it all together.

Here he is classy and organized.

I ALWAYS talk about how the TIE brings the ENTIRE suit together. Not to mention his shoes. Accessories are so important, even for men.

Even with casual clothing he brings the swagger A simple T-shirt and jogger pants look chic and polished.

DATING SEGMENT

There’s a lot to be said about a girl who isn’t afraid to go after what she wants. Sometimes that in itself rubs people the wrong way, especially when you are extremely secure within yourself. I posted this quote on Twitter the other day, and it’s so true. “Lowkey, to date me you gotta be mentally strong because I’ll push all your buttons. Even ones you didn’t even know you had.”

We have discussed in the past about how guys are simply afraid of dating an independent woman and I have mentioned that for athletes, an independent woman is the best match for them simply because they need to focus on their careers and it is extremely demanding!

Here’s reasons to date an independent woman ( like me)

First thing is to understand that her actions are deliberate and there’s a reason behind them. The secondly thing you need to know is that an independent woman isn’t afraid to speak her mind! She is also going to be very loyal and very supportive. Being that I am a former cheerleader and have been coaching cheerleading for years, this statement is truth. I will always want my man to be successful at whatever he does and I will push him as best as I can to go after his dreams.
Dating an independent woman doesn’t mean that she won’t be dependent on her partner- no, we depend on our partners to provide love, attention, affection and also support us as we chase our dreams, we just aren’t clingy. I don’t look to a relationship for validation at all. I look to a relationship as a team. To some this may be surprising, even though we enjoy challenges and competition, we’re usually uninterested in playing games or chasing a crush. If we flirt we you, that means we want you. If you take too long to reciprocate, we move on to someone who will. That may seem, “mean,” but we shouldn’t have to wait forever for you to make that move to make us official.

I have asked guys out in the past, or at least hinted that I wanted to go out with someone. Then of course, still, some guys have to be the one to ask you out. Okay, I’ll bite, and I will sit back and watch you and wait for awhile, but if you wait way too long, even though I am extremely attracted to you and feel sexual tension, I will go and pay attention to someone else and move on from you, even if that kills me. Girls like me don’t come around often. Why should I have to sit around and wait around for you to finally decide that you want to go out with me?

I know what I bring to the table. I am a rare breed. (As are true independent women are!)

The best advice that I can give guys is this: If a girl wants to BUILD with you and is SUPPORTIVE while she’s building up her own dreams, don’t give her a chance to even look at another guy. If she ONLY wants to build with YOU… don’t be a jackass and let your ego or pride or anyone allow you to mess it up.

Also, I always laugh when I hear that other guys are whispering about me to the guy that I want. It’s like they are so incredibly jealous that they tell him not to take the chance of a lifetime with me since they can’t have me. Like, how much of an asshole of person do you have to be that you don’t want your teammate or friend to be happy?
This is why I stay out of telling my friends who to ask out or date. I am not the one who lives with the decision- they are! And I don’t want to be the reason they missed out on a great experience going out with someone they want to because of how I feel.

And of course the jealous fuck girls will go out of their way to make themselves “known” in the process- ( If you listened to my podcast I talked about this!) This is why I only date guys with the warrior mentality. They too are a strong & independent people who aren’t intimidated by me. We actually can have a lot of fun together and like I said on the podcast, if you are into adventure, sarcasm, and want that personal cheerleader in every which way possible – you’d jump up on the chance of lifetime. Anybody could be good to you, you need a bad girl to blow your mind. Remember, Be savage, not average. Unless, you just want basic.

Fashion Avenue #NYR Style

On my winning podcast “The Recordings of A Fan girl #Sarcasm ” I talk about fashion and hockey boys; specifically the NY Rangers.
This Friday 10/ 28 I will judge these looks ( plus some others- look at the photos below)

I’ll give a hint here: 😍😎🤩🥵

Adam Fox
Ryan Reaves

K’Andre Miller

The Podcast link will be updated in this post Friday. In the meantime… enjoy the videos/photos

Can We Stop Harassing Women Who Love Sports?

Although millions of women have experience playing sports and many millions more are fans of sports, women are still looked down upon when they talk about sports. And when they do, men still persistently question their qualifications.

First thing all women who love sports have to deal with is that we ONLY love the sport for how “good looking” the men are. Now, unfortunately some girls tweet and post about how “hot” an athlete looks so all girls and women are thrown into this category and even if we actually enjoy the sport for what it is, and make a comment on how handsome a guy looks, that’s it; we all are told that is the REAL reason we love football or hockey. (Especially those 2 sports)

I don’t know how to break this to you guys out there but it’s pretty much impossible to see the faces or the abs of football players as they’re bolting across my TV or device. And hockey players… have so much padding on them, plus a helmet with a visor, that it’s impossible to judge their “hotness” as they quickly skate up and down the rink. If girls wanted to look at cute guys, they would probably watch a soap opera or a music video or sex website, not athletes covered in so much gear that they’re barely recognizable.

Then we have to deal with questions like, “Your boyfriend, dad or your brothers got you into liking football or hockey, right?” For some reason, it’s hard for some guys to wrap their brains around the fact that a woman can turn on a TV or find a sport and find a game all on her own. I can tell you for a fact that no one in my family introduced me to NY Rangers hockey… I found it, got into it, and love it all by my little self.

Another thing that guys don’t seem to understand is that you can be a fan of a sport without knowing every player’s statistics. If you claim to like , the Yankees for example, then guys bombard me with questions about the players and even when I know all of the answers., these guys STILL won’t let up!
Listen, we don’t quiz men on your Shakira knowledge so why should they quiz us on sports?

My favorite though is insisting that I am an airhead, because I am a female fan.

Another doozy is that if you like a team that just so happens to be doing well, you’re going to be accused of liking them because it’s trendy. ( We get that in NY a lot)

Let me tell you that I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a hockey jersey to impress ANY guy! Most women watch sports, because they actually enjoy them. They don’t have an ulterior motive. Sorry that you feel so incredibly insecure about yourself to even think that.

Also, if a girl likes a certain player that you hate, that doesn’t give you the right to bully, harass, or shame someone for THEIR love for that particular player. People need to realize that not EVERY post needs your comment on it – just as in real life you wouldn’t engage in every conversation you would come in contact with same applies online.
I hate it when people bash players online and then also think they can bash their families and the fans who like them. I will go after you on that, as being an athlete is hard enough, let alone having people bash them who by the way are buying tickets to watch. Most fans couldn’t even survive on the field or ice past the 1st shift/1 series.

Finally, this is what one guy I spoke too about what he thought about women enjoying sports had to say, “I’m a competitive cyclist and if a girl can keep up with me on a mid-paced weekend ride I’m pretty much in love.”

I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort #facts

On my podcast, “The Recordings of A Fan girl #sarcasm, I talk about dating, relationships and I mention athletes A LOT with their relationships and dating no-nos. As both the NFL and NHL start up again on September 11th, I thought hey, let’s review some past tips and past stories this week on my podcast.
Here though, I will mention a few goodies.

Click Here to see the screen shot I will be now referring to:

This here is the shit I have to deal with all the time! Dumb ass guys trying to disguise themselves on line to either: A: Hit on me B: Ask dumbass questions C: Think that they are being clever D: This guy actually thinks this here is a pick up line ( which is scary!)

Like I have mentioned here and on my podcast athletes have burner accounts and sometimes they make them so damn obvious too. Not only do they have burner accounts, but they also try their best to disguise themselves on dating apps like Tinder for example. The ones I have seen are NFL players pretending to be construction workers, landscapers, plumbers, real estate agents, etc. Remember, the only reason they are on these apps is for their hook-up on the road, although I have seen these guys be extremely stupid and actually find hook-ups on their home turf.
Some incredibly stupid women have also posted Tiktoks where they show themselves at the guy’s game and then realize that they were set up with a player and had no idea. Other Tiktoks show girls exposing the players cheating on their girlfriends and wives. We’ll get into it on the podcast this week!

As for dating and relationship observations, here are a couple of mine.

1- The first three dates ( which could be seen as a barometer) should just be friendly dates because then you’re really know if you want to pursue anything else and believe me I have had physical attraction right from the get go with some people and it didn’t end up the way that I wanted it to but I don’t regret having that relationship with those people because it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me how relationships last and how relationships don’t last. – Now, when sexual shenanigans take place, that can cloud your judgement on a person. But I don’t think there are any rules to dating expect the 1st date should not include shenanigans.
Also a “date” consists of either coffee, drinks, dinner, a fun nonsexual activity.

2- Sometimes one person in the relationship grows faster and grows completely away from what brought them together in the first place while the other person is still stagnant in the same spot. This is why some relationships fail.

3- I don’t understand why people want to be in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship if it’s not something that you really really want. Why waste all that time and energy to just date for the sake of dating you know?

4- There’s so much double standards STILL with women in relationships. We can’t ask guys out because that seems too aggressive or seems as the masculine thing to do when we have to only show our feminine side… blah blah blah.

5- Then of course the stigma about women being single… Women Like the character Samantha Jones from Sex and The City had sex “Like a man” you know, had her way with him, and then was done with him, she is seen as hoe or a whore. Meanwhile guys can do whatever the hell they want and there’s no stigma to that.

6- If I decide to date a guy that that’s younger than me I’m gonna be seen as a cougar but when a guy my age, date’s a girl younger than him it’s OK. But I am more attracted to young guys 24-30.

7- Of course there is still the stigma that there’s something wrong with a woman who stays single too. I’m not gonna waste my time to going out with someone because all my friends are with someone or all the pressures on women . I don’t really go with the trendy stuff if you haven’t noticed, I do what is best for me whether other people like it or not.

8- Athletes fall into 1 of 2 categories- A) The one where they have to date arm candy because that is all they have to offer and it makes them look “good, powerful and important. ” B) The one where they actually date someone not because of who they are, what they look like, or the attention they would get because they dated that person, but because simply they love who they are, they are supportive, loyal, and they bring out the best in them when they are performing in their sport. I guess that is why this former cheerleader and current cheer coach loves being around athletes, because I LEAD.
That’s why we’re called cheerleaders because we’re supposed to LEAD not sit on the sidelines and watch things happen. I am loyal, supportive, and I understand things from an athlete’s point of view. They aren’t robots, they are people. They have emotions, they hurt, have pain, and experience life just like any of us. Most fans forget that part, sadly.
I root hard for those I care about. I want them to succeed. I want them to have their dreams come true.
If you read this blog, religiously, then you read me talk about my previous relationships, and what I took from them to become the best version of myself in order to be able to give that to a guy who deserves it in the future. Yes, I know I am a rare breed, I am the prize. I know what I bring to the table. And one day, a guy is going to see that… If we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.

The Dirty Little Secret

Someone ACTUALLY posted this on Tiktok…. why? I don’t know.

Reasons to delete these apps! Number 1 & 3 NAILED it.

IF you click the videos and watch them on Youtube, you will see two things:

  1. Tinder IS ONLY a HOOK UP APP and people are STUPID to post about it.
    I know sometimes people like to post things for “shock value” at times, but why on Earth would you WANT people to even think that you are hooking up with a date in a hotel?
  2. IF you still think that you find your mate on these apps, sorry. You don’t. You settled.
    I said what I said. You settled for someone out of frustration, confusion, pressure to settle down or with the amount of folks you swiped on this app, which is called choice overload, you chose the wrong person.
  3. Remember, men on average hook up with 5-7 women and women hook up on average with 3-5 men on Tinder. IF you read the previous blog post, I told you EXACTLY how these apps work and how they trick you into believing you met your “soulmate” when you didn’t.
  4. The 2nd video NAILED the reasons I have been telling you WHY you should DELETE these apps and find love a different way. I am a strong believer that you can use social media, but it’s limited as to HOW to use it for this purpose. I just posted a video on my Twitter as to HOW you can get to know someone … it’s VERY simple:
    a) ask questions on line and have conversations in public first don’t just slide into DMs b) then take that relationship offline.
    c) I also noted that athletes and just regular joes should STOP asking their teammates and friends if they should “date” someone. Seriously, your teammate or friend is not going to date her… YOU are! If you feel a strong vibe towards her- ASK her OUT!


    You can read more about relationships and dating apps in my best selling book “Relationship Impossible”