Sex Education 101

Being on Twitter and seeing people post things are not true has to be the most frustrating thing! Yes there are folks who tweet “sex facts” but they leave out the facts and just tweet opinions. One of the more taboo topics that many feel uncomfortable talking about is masturbation. A survey found that 54% of people don’t feel comfortable talking about masturbation; the other is orgasms.

Here are some straight up facts:

Masturbation Facts and Statistics

1- 95% of men admit to masturbating, compared to 89% of women. For married individuals, the rate is 70% for both men and women.
2- More than 40% of males and 22% of females admit to masturbating daily. 55% of men and 48% of women masturbate at least once a week.
3-The average time porn is watched in a hotel room is 12 minutes.

Studies done by Indiana U, We-Vibe, and Tenga found that one in three men think about a celebrity when they are masturbating. In comparison, only one in five women think about a celebrity while masturbating. 69% of men will watch pornography, listen to music, look at photos or use a vibrator each time they masturbate. In comparison, only 54% of females will do the same thing.  It should be noted that masturbating is not going out and “seeking sex” it is considered ” self-love” ( I use that term with a smirk) and … A recent study found that not only do 45 percent of couples watch porn together, but it’s a healthy way to bond. The study was published in The Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Communication about sex is a major component to a great relationship, and if you can work a mutual interest for porn into your sex life it’s not only a learning experience, but can add some spice to those vanilla positions.

Still, in 2022, though when people talk about sex, they talk about it from the male perspective only. In a few studies done in the past few years, we find that women perceived as more open to casual sex are attributed to having less morals and are seen as less smart than women are not so open to casual sex as men are. Greater female objectification may be prompted by observers’ negative stereotypes of promiscuous women. Focusing on a woman’s body promotes objectification and decreases perceptions of her mental capacity and moral status. The myth that it is completely normal for heterosexual men to see women to whom they are sexually attracted as sex objects needs to be retired. The notion that men can have as much casual sex as they want but women can not is absurd. Men are aroused just by glancing at a female arm, ankle, calf, thigh, stomach — even without ever seeing the woman’s face. Those legs, calves, arms, etc. are sexual objects. That’s why there are innumerable websites featuring them. There is nothing analogous for women. Of course, a woman can be aroused seeing a particularly handsome and masculine man. But there are no websites for women to stare at men’s legs or other male body parts. Women are told not to dress too sexy, because if they do then there must be “asking for it” when it fact women are not at all asking for anything, they do though have a right to dress however they desire. There is that myth that women have a little black dress and men have their little black book. Women wear the little black dress to into a man’s little black book. But again, no one ever views that little black dress as just a dress a woman loves or wants to wear, there is always a sexual thing attached to it. But one thing that remains constant year in and year out is the assumption that the female body exists, first and foremost, for male sexual and viewing pleasure. This idea, needs to retired faster than Tom Brady plans to retire at some point.

Here is the kicker: NOT every normal heterosexual man who sees a woman as a sexual object can also completely respect her mind, her character, and everything else non-sexual about her. You have athletes, mostly NFL and NBA who think its a flex to date and sleep with as many women as they want. That’s not the true flex. Women are not prized animals that are owned by a man, so why do we still focus on men as the sexual being and not the other way around?

Women are told to please a man. Men are not told to please women. About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone — that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10 to 15 percent never climax under any circumstances. On the other hand, It’s clear the male orgasm is strongly selected and it makes sense , if they don’t reach orgasm, they don’t leave offspring. That’s why all we see are articles on how men can be satisfied but not women. It would be helpful if women knew as much about their ‘clits’ as men do about their penises. Women needs time to get off and, foreplay is the most important thing. It helps in vaginal lubrication, which is required for deep penetration and better sexual experience. Your sexual activity doesn’t need to be longer, but better. Women can get the orgasm even without penetration.

It’s not something to be ashamed about either. It’s part of life and it is part of having an intimate relationship. Too much emphasis is placed on models of female sexuality that are created by Hollywood and the pornography industry. But to sort of act as if that’s all that needs to be done for women is just silly. This is a total denial of the facts.

Listen to the latest podcast: Talk about The New York Rangers – Relationships – and Why you should never let AGE dictate your life.

-Hello Love Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed
-Relationship Impossible

Stay Sassy

This is an unusual blog post of Stephanie’s Sassy Corner…

I’m not going to be giving you advice on dating, on social media or even give you my 2 cents about football, or whatever else I throw into the fire. You see I have spent the past fifteen years becoming a expert in helping you understand how dating apps are only good at creating nightmares in your life, how social media has transformed business and of course you have my view on just about everything sports related ( mostly football)… I wanted to give you something that was different and out of the box. But now I see that as a broadcaster (that is what a content creator/podcaster is on social media) that we shouldn’t always be doing things that are trending but to do things that are valuable and post content that is REAL, RELEVANT and RELATABLE!
I have always been my real, sassy, blunt self on each and every podcast and blog piece that I have written, but now with that said, I am rebranding and refocusing my content so it stands for something that has clarity around my identity, narrative and purpose. Not only will I also stay real, relevant and relatable, but I will do it in a much different way.

I realize that even though I enjoy my podcasts, writing my blogs and social media posts, there was nothing from that they brought me instant joy. From now on, I want to live and enjoy every moment when I do my shows and write my blog posts and even do social media. I don’t want to waste time just doing it for the sake of doing it. So I will still talk about dating, dating apps, social media and of course NFL Football, it will be done in much different way!

Sassy Nation will still be the same day, Tuesdays and it will still be an audio only podcast.
The Sassy Show which is presented my Rockland World Radio which I have done live streamed on Facebook, will be moving to Youtube every other week on a Thursday.
The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm will now be an online entertainment show WITH video each week on Fridays. I will have some audio after show comments that will be just for subscribers.

And the Playing with the Boys podcast, will be a Twitter Space on Wednesday Afternoons.

I hope you will join me on my platforms and the way I do them change this week.
I no longer will be on Instagram – you can follow me on the following:

Twitter
Tiktok
Pinterest
Nextdoor ( which is the local page only )
LinkedIn
Youtube

For Sale: A Little Black Dress

In 2022 we all still having dating backwards and confused about “rules” we each have to follow. Men are told that they are the hunters and that they have to hunt based on superficial things. While women are seen as pieces of meat and can’t be aggressive, independent or self-sufficient. Women “need” a man, they can not just “want” a man.
Men can’t call or text a girl he likes after the first date for about three days, because that will make him seems “overzealous” and “too interested,” (God forbid he seems interested in her!) Also, a man needs to use a lame pick up line in order to start a damn freaking conversation, because they ain’t built that way! Heaven Forbid they have a regular conversation with a girl and then at the end of the conversation, give her his number!? Women can not make the first move, because that is a “man’s” job and she can not me too independent because the man is suppose to “provide” for her.
This here lies the problem: Why are folks so freaking caught up in “rules” and looking to Tiktok and Instagram for “dating advice” when the answer is seriously easy?

I’m going to give you the secret to why all the good women are still single and how a guy screws this up time and time again. Ready for the secret? Okay.

If guys would seriously STOP with their unrealistic view that women have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, y’all wouldn’t be single today. First off, the difference between a woman who acts fake and is real is so easy to tell – too bad most men are illiterate and can’t read. If a woman ONLY cares about how much money you spend on her on a date, where you take her, if you buy her gifts (or don’t) then she is NOT into you for the RIGHT reason. But if a woman enjoys your company, wants to have light conversations with you, doesn’t expect you to pay for EVERYTHING and is her goofy self right off the bat, then that is who she REALLY is and you should EMBRACE that!

The problem with guys is that they want to girl who “needs” them, not the girl who “wants” them and yeah, there is a BIG difference. Men who think it’s there “duty” to take care of her with everything, almost all the time choose the wrong partner while the man who chooses the girl who wants him, supports him and appreciates him is not the girl chosen half the time. Men who treat women as pieces of meat are the guys who are out there that complain about women. Women complain about men and their attitudes and the fact that they think they are the prey and can’t go after a guy or have to be a with a guy who is going to “take care of her” –

Women today don’t need a man to take care of them – we need a man who is going to just be himself, support us, as we support him, cheer him on, as he cheers us on, and just love being with us – period.

I’m so tired of having to pretend to be “needy” and need a hero to save me when in fact I’m my own hero, I can save myself. That shouldn’t be something that a man should be intimidated with, but instead celebrate. At the end of the day, we girls just want to be looked at as real people, not the ones who need the little black dress to seduce you into thinking that we are a fantasy, but that no matter if we are a size 2 or a size 12, have blonde hair or black hair, if we have a big butt or a small one, we are worth it and valued for our character and our personality. Looks fade, but that other shit lasts forever. If you want that woman who is going to love you regardless, and who is going to treat you right, then start focusing on what really matters. I am sure then you will find yourself a girl that a keeper.

Why are women choosing to be single?

The number of women who are choosing this lifestyle has been growing long before we had to deal the pandemic. And long before we had to endure the last two and half years, single women had to deal with two labels: spinster and old maid.

There are many reasons we no longer use these terms: For starters its misogynist undertones and double standards can’t be ignored no matter how hard you try. A man, who choose the single life is called “A Bachelor” and they ever have a stupid show that celebrates that with it scripted of him having to make out with twenty five women in order to find “the one.”
The thing that I learned over the past two and half years is that, never marrying or taking a long-term partner is a valid choice but it is still sneered at as a woman who can’t “get a man,” when that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not that a woman “can’t get a man,” trust me, it’s that hard to do that. But she’s single because she is STILL waiting for a REAL man to SHOW up! There’s no point in dating and wasting your time and energy on a guy, “just to prove to others that you are desirable.” Why so many women think that they need to prove to co-workers, friends and family that they can date and will date is the stupidest shit ever!

Most women need to learn HOW to be SINGLE first, before they can enter the dating world and they don’t like to hear that. I know so many ladies out there that have this “need” to date and can’t see themselves as single. It’s like a curse – and then they go ahead and date the jerk just to say they are dating but then complain that he is a jerk!

And with dating apps and folks in such a hurry to get into ANY relationship in 2022, it’s sad to see women thinking that they aren’t strong enough to WAIT for the REAL DEAL to make an entrance- not the prince in shining armor, that ship sailed years ago. Why can’t women realize a) how strong they are and b) worth it to wait for that guy who sees what they bring to the table?
Women not only have to deal with PMS, periods and then menopause. They have to deal with still not making the same about of money as a man, but yet doing the same amount of work as a man. Women still have to deal with hearing their friends who are married and have kids ask them, “Don’t you want a family of your own?” Or worse- having to deal with family members who say things like, “I always saw you with having kids, isn’t that still something you want?” Men NEVER get asked those questions… EVER! yeah sure a man when he reaches forty and unwed may have to deal with his mom telling him to “grow up and settle down,” but if that guy has siblings and they have already given that mom grand-kids, he really is in the clear.

Being single myself, I am DONE with dating JUST to date. ( All the hook ups, one nighters) I rather focus on myself and accomplishing career goals while I wait for an actual REAL man to come my way. I find that younger guys are more in tuned with wanting to build something and aren’t afraid to be with a successful woman, whereas a man over the age of thirty-five is more threatened by a strong and successful woman. (My age range is from 23 (and yes, if you are a guy turning 23… ) -30 for all those who are interested to know and have asked me. If you want to know what else I am looking for a man, DM me on Twitter or Instagram, and I will tell you. ) Guys who are older than thirty-five are pretty much established in their work and in their lives – they are uninteresting, and have premeditated views on women that are not so pretty. Whereas the guys 23-30, are not established, have so much zest, zeal for life and are open to possibilities. There’s a lot I can bring to the table in a relationship with a younger guy. For starters, if we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.
Your time and energy is better spent with people who make the effort to pay it back or forward. We laugh at people who still use Windows 95, but we cling to opinions we formed in 1995. It’s 2022, it’s time to be more open to women who are strong, independent, not afraid to speak her mind, and are open to sharing new possibilities with a man who sees what an older woman brings to table is undeniably something that can’t be found with girls in their twenties.

Some people are settling, some people are settling down, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than the real deal.

Playing With The Boys

As a girl who loves football, I hear guys say it all the time:

“I have no idea what I’m talking about”
“Football is for the boys”
“Girls have no idea about what it takes to be a quarterback or play period”
“You’re just a fan girl…”

With that said here’s what I know:

There isn’t a position that comes with more pressure, demand or expectations than the guy playing under center each week.

Accuracy, anticipation, footwork, pocket presence, athleticism, decision making, mental toughness are seven traits that are must-haves; which makes a quarterback very intriguing to watch.

There’s offense plays I like, and there’s offense plays I don’t.

We’ll start to unwrap it in the Spring of 2022 with a podcast, book and a blog.

Here’s the podcast to listen to what is coming —> CLICK

TO watch the video announcement — > CLICK

A Coach’s Life Documentary

Being a cheerleading coach / choreographer is not as glamorous or easy as people think. First off, it’s very time consuming. I work on my coaching/choreography/team over 25 hours a week. Not to mention if we have football or basketball games, then I have to dedicate that time to the game we are cheering at, besides practicing with that team.
Yes, there are 2 teams that I coach at the same time: The Competition Team and the Football or Basketball Cheer Team (depending on the season)

I decided to put this to video and show everyone what is really is like being a coach- also it’s a sneak peek as to what it’s like inside competitive high school cheerleading.

Here is the video / reel on my Instagram page: Click here

NOTE:
I will be producing a few documentaries in 2022 – here are the social media channels to watch them:

Youtube

Twitter

Instagram – two profiles: Sassy One and the Cheer One

Cyber Monday Fun Day!

Today is one of the bets online days for businesses! For those who don’t like going out and shopping, this is YOUR day. I have some deals and steals too. All online links below:

  1. Free gift when you subscribe to my podcast ( which also will have the bonus coverage of my best selling follow up book, Relationship Impossible)
  2. Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee – if you make a purchase you get a FREE mug and FREE shipping but if you would like a SAMPLE you can reach out today on the contact page and email me which K-pod you want to try, ( Pumpkin, Vanilla, Cinnamon, Regular Medium Roast)
  3. If you are a small business or entrepreneur – I am holding a workshop on how to teach you how to create short videos which is the most powerful tool right now! 50% off the workshop – email me for details.
  4. My Book, Relationship Impossible is FREE to download today!!! Get it while you can! ( info below)
https://anchor.fm/stephanie-dolce/subscribe
https://justbrewitgourmetcoffee.com/
https://sassygirlpr.com/contact/
https://amzn.to/3cVwjw2

Coffee First, Wine Later ( A series of blogs)

I have some EXCITING news!

Drum Roll Please….. … …. …

I know what Santa wants you to get your family and friends for Christmas and the holidays!

Introducing …. A Sassy Productions:

Coffee First, With Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee and Wine Later with Sassy Productions Inc.

Supplies are limited for the WINE… but ANYONE who orders coffee ( CLICK HERE ) will qualify to order a bottle of my Rosé Wine for HALF the price!!

You also will be put in a drawing to WIN A BOTTLE FREE on #blackfriday!

I also will be giving away FREE Coffee and having a special #BlackFriday Sale!

Remember, when you support a small business, you are supporting a dream and helping it come true one purchase at a time!

Open For Business! (and other cool updates!)

Just Brew It Is Open For Business
Follow On Instagram!

I’m excited to announce that I have added to my businesses ( yes, I have another one folks!) with my coffee brand: Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee!
It’s so exciting! I really do LOVE coffee. That is not me being dramatic- I literally LIVE for it. It’s funny yes, but it’s my hustle juice. Now, I am not that coffee drinker that drinks like 4-5 cups… oh no, you’d have to peel me off the ceiling if I did that! But it definitely keeps me moving.

During the pandemic I started to look at what my passions were and what other type of businesses I could add to my “Sassy” line. I tried clothing for a while, and yes, I made a few sales, but clothing is quite expensive to keep up with, and on Instagram and Facebook in order to have a “shop” the website for which you sell it needs to the website you sell it from- meaning that I was not the one manufacturing the products and to purchase it you were going to a different website and not staying on mine.

Anyhow, I got a book on coffee and was reading up on it, I was an influencer for this coffee brand and I also was watching a few Christmas movies that inspired me to think to myself, “First off, why am I helping someone else make money off of coffee when I can do it myself?” And I drink a ton of coffee that never really tastes fresh since it’s on the shelves for a long time or the coffee shops you got to have expensive coffee that tasted altered- so I thought maybe I could have a brand of coffee that would be gourmet that folks could make at home or in the office and not have to go to expensive coffee places to get it. Bottom line is this: I roast the beans myself, then I grind them, and then I package them together. I sell K-pods and ground. Click here to go to the website

Here is the coffee after I grind it.

OTHER NEWS

You can now subscribe to my podcast, “Sassy Nation” This podcast is all about sports, social media and 100% sassiness!

Subscribers will get benefits that free listeners will not!

1) Recordings of A Fangirl #sarcasm podcast ( the latest episode is free right now)
2) Free Content Ideas for Social Media and Insider info
3) Exclusive News and Rants
4) Access to be on a podcast and named show producer
5) Free Business PR

The price is $2.99 a month! Subscribe here: Get Sassy!

Finally, The BONUS edition for my book, “Relationship Impossible” will be in a PODCAST format. I am still working on it, but I feel this is better to do than to sit and write out a bonus. I still am going to give you a journal and put some juicy details in the journal, but if you want to listen to the bonus edition, you will have to subscribe to the Sassy Nation Podcast. Of course I will give you a little teaser so you know what I am talking about… it will be WORTH IT! That I can promise and deliver!

Again, but better

I haven’t been happy lately.

No, I take that back. I have been happy, but I have not felt fulfilled lately. It’s like nothing I do or accomplish makes me feel as if I am doing things that are appreciated nor do I feel that I am valued. I always wanted to have my own empire, and believe me that hasn’t changed. What has changed is how I go about that.

I noticed lately that either people who are jealous or those who scoff at the idea of having multiple businesses have given me negative feedback without having any true facts. And I notice that when I try to help others gain insight on what knowledge I have, they don’t value me or what I know. Either that or they are just plainly lazy and don’t care as much about their business as I care about theirs.

85% of my job is either chasing a client down for money or content. And it’s exhausting! So, to fix this problem, I am going to go and do credit cards starting in October. But the other problem will either get fixed by me learning that I can not control how clients respond and therefore I won’t chase them anymore. You either give me what I ask for or you don’t get what you want to achieve from your marketing. And when they freaking complain, I will point it out to them. Yes, I will save text messages and emails. I also believe in principles, but if you tell me you will do something, I expect you to do it or give me enough time to make alternate arrangements. If you flake on me enough times, I’ll re-evaluate our relationship and more than likely cancel you out of my life. A person who doesn’t consistently keep their word does not respect you, and they don’t value you or your time.

I should not have to get super stressed out over how people behave.

Speaking of stress, I noticed that this entire year minus January, I have been super stressed. Stress takes a toll on our mental health and our bodies. Life should not be lived having to be stressed day in and day out. I want to change the world, yes, but I don’t want to die because I am completely stressed over things that I have no control over. I can only do my part and then hope that it inspires someone else to change their outlook and reach out to pay it forward.

What gets me is the fact that we undervalue other people either based on what we have heard, what the myths there are or we are afraid to really find out the true value of someone else. When we take our anger and frustrations out on other people, we aren’t dealing with the problem at hand, which is the reason why we feel the way we do. We try to hide and push those feelings away, but that doesn’t solve the issue. Instead it causes more pain, grief, and frustrations. Egoism, lack of love and empathy are main reasons people don’t value others. People create more enemies for themselves than friends. To be very rewarding in our world we have to have respect for other people. It is a way of showing who we are and what we cherish and understand how interconnected in the world we live in.

Here’s another thing that I can’t stand lately: Whenever they need you, they come running. On the contrary, when you are in a bind, they do not reciprocate. I have gone above and beyond in my relationships. When I expected the same in return, it was not given. Those are hard lessons, but it became my comparable measuring cup to any other relationship. I have so many people in my life who DO value me that it became easy to spot when someone else didn’t. The word effort is defined as a vigorous or determined attempt. So, let me make this as straightforward as possible. Suppose you’re the only one who puts effort into having meetings, meetups, phone calls, or quality time. In that case, they don’t value you, and it’s not your responsibility to put in the majority of the effort.
That is a hard lesson to learn but it’s the darn truth. I have clients that expect magical things to happen, yet when I ask them for simple stuff like passwords, pictures or video links… crickets. Needless to say, I am done having to put forth all the effort and getting no reward from it. Yes, life isn’t about reward, but it isn’t about having to deal with stress caused from people’s slack effort, respect and value. I’m tired of constantly GIVING and having TAKERS take and NEVER give back- EVER!

Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself, and having a sense of self-value means that you are worthy. Easy to say, hard to do. That’s where self care and self love come into play.
Lately I have been doing a lot of this! Spending time with my self and those who value me. Noticing also that there are MANY people out there today who feel this exactly as well. I will start to record how each day goes and what I have learned from the day. I also will start recording my self talk to myself ( Yes, I the old fashioned thing to do, is to use a tape recorder) and then I will share my thoughts with the world. I know I have a voice and it won’t ever be stifled. If I can use my life to help someone else out there, then I have done my part in trying to help the world be a better place.

Just remember that there are people in this world who will always value you , even when you can’t see the value in yourself and even when you can’t see that they do value you. You can always make more money. You can never make more time. You can never replace the TRUE value of another human being with money. EVER.