Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Every Summer Has A Story

Its that time of year again when I am reminded that, “”In every girl’s life, there’s a boy she’ll never forget & a summer when it all began.” Love may start in Spring, but it evolves in Summer.

For me, I can remember way back when to the first summer love I had, in fifth grade. His name was Michael. He was the new boy in class and at first I did not like him at all. (Love/Hate relationships are always intense) He would drive me absolutely crazy by constantly shaking his pen when it ran out of ink. (Like shaking your pen is going to help!) So I came up with an idea to write him a note and tell him just how annoying he truly was. The only problem was that his older cousin was in eighth grade and when she found out that I wrote him a note and told him that if he didn’t stop it, I was going to then throw my pen at him, she kindly told me to cut it out.

And that is when the romance began.

We got to know each other so much so that he even sang to me at lunch one of those inappropriate George Michael songs. Once June came around and school was out, that is when our romance really took off. He would call me and we would hang out, but sadly like every fling, things ended the following year. Okay, so that is not necessarily a summer romance, and yeah, I was eleven, but its got to start somewhere for everyone.

Years later, when I was a junior going to be a senior in high school, that is when another “Mike” came into the picture. He was one year older than me and would visit his best friend who lived near me. That is when I came up with a dance group with all the girls that lived in my neighborhood and they danced my choreography that I created to all the hot songs of the 90’s. He would sit in his car and watch. When I would walk by his car he would stare and smile at me, and I literally felt like I was going to melt!

This particular story brings up even more memories that I won’t get into now, but trust me, some of those memories I am fond of while others are heartbreaking.

So what is the deal with summer, romance, flings, and love?

The summer time is when love seems to rear its head and capture our imagination. During the summer, we feel free, we feel the promise of being able to forget what has happened so far and the promise of starting over. Its a time when also, people want to show off all the winter weight they have lost, so people are actually more attractive in the summer then any other season.

The other reason why the summer time brings out the beast called love is because we get to meet people we never have seen before. Do you all remember the movie, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” and ho she met her fling, turned romance while on vacation? (Yes, its just a movie, but it does really happen!) We are more open to being impulsive, the sunshine is also brighter, we are happier, and the chance of turning a hot day into a steamy night is greater.

Ever hear the saying, “Live it up?” During the summer, that is mostly everyone’s motto.

So how can you have a summer fling turned romance?

A- Get a Summer Job – Work at a camp, beach, pool, etc. You will get to see these people everyday so it will be easier to get to know them and have them get to know you.

B- Become a visitor of a beach or pool – You don’t necessarily need to be a worker instead you can be a visitor and get to go on the prowl in your bikini or suit. Strut your stuff!

C- Volunteer – Find a place that fits your personality and you’ll surround yourself with similar people. What a better way to not only help others but also surround yourself with like-minded people.

D- Hang out with friends- Summer time is usually the time when you get introduced to friends of friends, people who you normally don’t see on an everyday basis. What could be better than shooting the breeze with someone your friends know? This is so much better than exposing yourself on those dating sites.

E- Go on vacation- Go somewhere you never have been before or even if you go to a place you love, you will be surrounded by new people and have a chance to have conversation and make googly faces at strangers. Or you will get lucky and see familiar faces from previous summers and maybe a spark will lit underneath them and a romance will begin.

If you really want the summer fling to last and turn it into the romance of your year or ultimately the one you end up with forever, the two things you need to remember are:

You need to express how you feel. There seems to be some unwritten rule that says summer flings have an expiration date and that we just assume the romance needs to be over with. But if you don’t ask or tell the person how you feel, you may actually be letting go of the person you were meant to be with forever!

The second thing you need to do is include him/her into your everyday after-summer- is -over life. He/She needs to see you, talk to you,when the beach days are over with and the colder weather starts to creep on in. But lets not dwell on this yet, for the summer is only starting and the promise of fairytale romance is in the air!

Two cheers to the summer and the potential of remembering a summer that began with a look, a smile, and a kiss.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner · 4 Comments

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Your body is NEVER going to look perfect. Ever.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. Stop thinking that people are just saying it, no they mean it.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill anything that is breathing.  Bad breath happens to everyone.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them. There are so many women who wish they were moms, remember that.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would. Your can accomplish anything you set your mind too!
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself. Men are not heroes, be your OWN hero and save yourself!
7. Life happens outside your comfort zone.  If you never take any risks, you never grow. Life is about growing and learning. Don’t be afraid to live the life YOU want.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan. Ever.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable. 💕

 

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With My Birthday Approaching, Here are 3 Things I Have Learned This Past Year

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Welcome to April, or as I like to call it; the best month ever! Okay, so I am bias to this because my birthday is in this month and it is about 4 days from today. Yippee!

And with my birthday approaching, I started to think about this past year; where I was and where I am heading. If you never read any of my books, then you don’t know that I have had experiences in my life that have been life-changing. Some experiences broke my heart while others just made me stronger and wiser. That’s the thing though, about life- every opportunity, every experience either makes you or breaks you if you let it. And in this past year of my life I have learned some major lessons that I would like to pass on and share with you.

1- There is almost always more than one way to accomplish something. There are always those folks that go for the traditional way, but there are usually multiple alternatives. The alternatives aren’t always better, but some folks don’t even want to know that they exist. You don’t have to do it the way everyone else does. That’s where out of the box thinking comes into play. Some people may be threatened by doing things a different way, but your life shouldn’t be determined by what other people think.

2- Make peace with money. Money doesn’t change people, it unmasks them. There are folks that only care about getting their share of it at whatever the cost. They don’t care about people, they only care about money. I’ve always said that money is evil because it makes people do things that they shouldn’t do just for a piece of it. By all means, make your money, but create your own definition of success when it comes to money. Don’t let it rule your life!

3- Love the process. Everything in life is a process. Everything that you do should largely be about the process, not the outcome. Memories are made because we see every moment of life as a gift. Not everything is going to happen for you overnight. Clients of mine sometimes drive me crazy with this one because they think social media is going to get them success overnight and it NEVER does! Same can be said for relationships. People rush the process of getting to know someone. They focus on that “happy ever after” instead of the “once upon a time.” Every friendship, every romance, every business relationship is a process. When getting started, just get started. Enjoy the process.

Life isn’t perfect and sometimes things will happen that are horrible, but if you remember that everything happens for a reason, it’ll give you a sense of hope. And there’s always hope. To be hopeful is to look on the future positively, to see opportunity in challenges. It’s looking at life as the glass half full rather than the glass half empty. Life is hard and will kick you in the butt if you let it. But hope gives you the strength to keep going. Hope is that voice inside that says, “Yes, you can.” And when you believe that, anything truly is possible.

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Stop Trusting Viral Videos

 

You go on Facebook or Twitter and there you see a video of folks involved in some type of dispute.

You are automatically outraged! How could this be happening? You comment on every news media outlet on social media and you post it to your own profile.

Guess what?

You are part of the problem that is happening on social media platforms everywhere; you are judging based on ONE VIDEO you saw without seeing the entire incident!

The parts of the video that seem to ALWAYS be posted are the parts that are the “juicy” details that the media knows will have outrage follow.

When multiple videos present multiple possible truths, which one is to be believed? This is the question most don’t ask themselves BEFORE they judge a video. When do they ask this? Most ask this once they realize that they are being duped by the mass media for a reaction that fits their agenda.

Not only this, but on social media it’s so easy to do two things: 1) Lie and 2) Be anonymous. This can especially be done on Twitter. Twitter today has turned into a place you go when you just need to know the gossip and only do it with folks who believe the same as you do. When you find an “outsider” you attack. This is just what the mass media loves and wants. They love tweets from folks who fit their agenda. Right now they love folks who are against the President and all those people who are for him. He is the enemy and they are fighting this battle with their pose on Twitter. When will these folks realize that this can quickly turn against them?

I was ecstatic to see that Twitter suspended the account of the person who started the latest viral lie. But that doesn’t stop these folks because just as quick as they are to get suspended, they can turn around and create a new account. I have said this many times on my radio show, and I probably will say it a million times more; social media was NOT designed for political conversations nor is it the place where folks should be getting their news from. With so many bloggers who have an ax to grind, and folks who believe anything that they are selling, the internet has made it difficult to understand what it true and what is false.

The add the point, on Facebook this week, a woman created a post saying that a certain number of kids went home cancer free, and she wanted folks to share it so she did what you are “supposed to” do, she said, “ I bet you won’t share this!” Boom- over 1 million folks shared it WITHOUT researching just how true the post actually was/is. I can tell you that if kids who had cancer went home cancer free, and it was a huge number, the mass media would cover it. That is a heartwarming story and they do still cover those, especially on social media.

In closing, I will just give this advice to all who are on social media: 1) Be careful what you write and put out there. It can always come back to bite you later. 2) When mixing personal with business, be smart about it. This means not to incorporate politics and religion as those 2 topics can wipe out half your clientele. And finally, 3) Look at social media more as an investment, not just an activity. (Especially if you are a brand or business)

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Men’s Epic Fails

Sorry guys, but sometimes you really are pathetic. Sending your mixed signals, changing your mind more times than I change my bra, and just being completely idiotic with playing games. But the good news is, us women still love you, flaws and all. Here are a handful of things that you guys may not even notice that you are doing which in turn are ruining your relationships.

Not Planning Things

The first epic fail is that you guys always assume that the woman is the one to make the plans. So while she is sitting there waiting for you to take the lead, you are sitting there wasting time because you feel that’s a “woman” thing to do.

Start Saying Thank You

This is obvious, we give you a gift or say something nice, open your big, fat mouths and say thank you! It won’t hurt and we won’t read anything into that. Not saying thank you is just plain rude!

Blaming Our Moods On…

Yes, you guys constantly blame our monthly periods on our moods. Here’s a crazy concept, maybe I’m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it’s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.

Run!

You realize that you really like a girl and she really wants to be with you so what do you do? You run! How stupid, seriously! If you aren’t ready for that type of relationship, all you need to do is communicate that to her and ask to remain friends. If you really likes you, she’ll agree. Running is for fools. Sticking your head in the sand might make you feel safer, but it’s not going to protect you from the coming storm.

You Are Not God’s Gift To Women

I repeat, you are NOT God’s gift to women, so calm down. Stop being overly cocky and over the top and just be your freaking selves! A real woman is NOT impressed with cars, how much money you have, how much weight you lost, the type of job you have, etc. We want you to have a job and be able to drive us on dates, but deep down, we don’t care about this stuff.

Pick Up The Damn Phone

Pick up the damn phone and call us back or text us back. When you go cold-turkey on us and not respond that makes YOU look bad or you look like you are starving for attention. Again, it’s another way of you being rude, and by the way, this is not going to make us NOT like you anymore. It will just annoy the hell out of us.

Proposing To A Woman Just Because…

Why the hell would you want to get married if you don’t love her? This is a major epic fail because then you are stuck in a situation that you shouldn’t be in the first place. This goes for men who get a woman pregnant and feel it’s the “manly” thing to do to marry her. This is for the guy who confuses love with lust. This is for the guy who meets a woman online and then 3-6 months later proposes without really knowing her. This is also for the guy who meets a woman and then suddenly thinks he needs to put a ring on it…. without truly knowing her. This is half the reason who divorce rates are high. But hey, divorce is a completely different topic that we will discuss later but I will say that if this i you- at least you have an out from your misery.

Spying On Us

It amazes me how stupid you guys are sometimes! Social Media isn’t going to help you really get to know a woman. Granted yes you get to see their pics, and you get to see what hobbies and things they like to do, but if you judge a woman based on her social meida accounts, then you are setting yourself up short & not being fair to her.

Being Gross

Talking with your mouth full and shoving food in your mouth, are just two of the ways that you guys gross us out. The other is when you don’t say excuse me after you burp…. ewww.

Arguing Over Nothing

Yes, us women are guilty of nagging you. I get it. But you guys are guilty of starting fights over nothing. Literally- nothing!

Sending Mixed Signals

One minute you talk to us and flirt with us non-stop, the next minute you ignore us. Then you think you have a right to get angry when we do the same crap to you? If you want us but aren’t ready to be in a relationship, open your mouth and just tell us. If we really want to be with you, we will wait. If not, why keep us wondering and waste your time as well?

Wanting Sex And That’s It

Friends with Benefits never work, so why do you guys seriously think that if you just sex from us, that’s okay? I understand that you have needs, so do we, but if you date a woman for a while and spice things up in the bedroom, you’ll have the best of both worlds.

You Put Too Much Emphasis On Looks

I get it, you want a barbie doll type girl. You know, the Victoria’s Secret type. But remember, looks fade, personality doesn’t. Her mindset will raise your children, not her materialism, looks, or her body. Choose wisely!

Trying To Get Us Jealous As A Way To Communicate

Trying to see if a woman likes you or feels the same way about you by lying that you are in a relationship, flirting with other women in front of her, or just wording things in a certain way so you get a reaction out of us, isn’t going to get you the desired response. Instead, you are going to hurt her, and seriously I doubt that is the intention of most men. I’ll fight for you but I will NEVER compete for you.;there’s a difference.

Using Text To Have Serious Conversations:

Texting is good for those hi, how are you doing messages. Texting is NOT good to see where you stand with someone, break up with someone or even have a serious conversation about any situation you are going through. People today have lost the true meaning of communication simply because using text is so impersonal and it doesn’t truly convey the message you really are sending. So before you decide to have a serious talk, save it for face to face and please put down the damn phone!

No one is perfect, I know that. And I am not saying that you guys need to do everything perfectly correct. But if we take a little time to actually THINK before we act or speak, we are not only thinking about ourselves but also remembering that HOW we approach situations effects others too. Your imperfections don’t define you. It’s how you handle them that makes you human.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Year to Review, Revise and Remember

Life can be funny sometimes. It throws you curve balls, takes you on paths that you’d never think you would take and life always comes full circle.   Each person has their own personal and unique life’s journey and along with it the interesting turns and twists that are unique.

One thing I learned this year is that life happens whether you want it happen or not. Being that I am a social media guru and I am online for about 60 hours a week, I get to see people’s lives evolve .  I also get to see people’s struggles, complaints, life-moments, and everything in between.  And from that I can tell you that life is short, really short.  Every single moment in your life counts.  Every decision you make will have an effect on your life in one way or another.  What people don’t realize is that they have an opportunity to make a difference in the world and in themselves each and every day.  That can be simply by saying hello, holding a door open for someone, supporting a friend, paying for someone’s coffee, etc.

Another thing that most people don’t realize is that we should never stop learning and growing.  Traditions and rules were made to be broken.  The concept of giving of one’s self to another, often is abused.  People take advantage of good-hearted people,  I should know. They aren’t appreciative of the fact that you gave of yourself, they now expect it. People who are more appreciative are those who aren’t expecting your kindness.  Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t be compassionate, open, and understanding, I am just saying to be wary of those with whom who are open to sharing your exceptional kindness with. … some don’t deserve it.  But that doesn’t mean that you stop respecting them.

That’s another thing I came across this year. Social media has made too many people comfortable with being able to disrespect others without getting punched in the mouth for it.  That then carries over to their “actual” lives and we have become more judgemental, angry, selfish, and greedy.   If you live your life as if everything is about you, you will be left with just that; just you. Relationships aren’t designed for selfish individuals.  But I have learned this year that being angry at people who don’t have the capacity to change is a waste of my energy and my time.

Speaking of relationships, I have learned this past year that some are not worth it, while some are worthwhile.  The most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Going into 2019, the best decision you can ever make, is putting yourself first. If you are still single, capitalize on it. Never settle. Know your worth. You deserve to be happy.  Don’t end up with someone just because you need to be with someone.  Never love when you are lonely. And if you can’t love who you are, how do you expect someone else to love you?

There is no right age to settle down but there is a right time.  There’s a difference. Learn it in 2019.

Follow your own path. Don’t copy someone else’s life, live your own. You weren’t made to be a carbon copy of someone else, you were made to stand out and be an original. Be proud of who you are, how far you have come, and where you are going.  Find people who support your goals,  are happy for your success, and who are there to comfort you when you fail.  Be authentic in real life and online. Stop trying to please others- when you are the one who at the end of the day, lives with the decisions YOU make, not anyone else.

Here’s to 2019! Go for your dreams, seek what makes you satisfied in your life , and make it happen.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Do You Believe In Magic?

First off, I want to wish a Merry Christmas to all my readers and fans.

When we are little, Christmas is all about the anticipation of the “big day!” We all write letters to Santa Claus, we decorate the tree, make Christmas cookies and also make our parents a homemade gift.

As we get older we tend to move away from these traditions and sometimes that special magic of the season fades. It’s so easy to get consumed by the commercial side of the season, which can take away some of the joy and magic. Not only that, but as an adult we also get stressed at this time of year. We have to deal with our adult lives, (work, paying bills, taking care of our family, etc) and also getting ready for the holiday. This is when we just try and “get through” another holiday.

Why do some adults lose that love, that magic of Christmas?

As I explained this to some folks this past week. Christmas isn’t just about finding out that Santa isn’t the one who buys you those gifts your find under the tree. The truth is that I still believe in Santa. I believe in the magic of the holiday, that miracles can happen, that the unexpected can take place, and that happiness surrounds us if we just take the time to look and feel it. Santa doesn’t necessarily have to be a person. Santa can be a feeling. He’s the hope we hold in our hearts that good things are possible if we only believe.

The magic of the season is all about giving of yourself to make someone else’s life a little better, a little happier, and a little sweeter. See, Christmas in itself is real magic. It’s not the magic of wizards and wands you read in books. The Christmas spirit is ageless, timeless and giving. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. It is meant to bring a message of peace and hope in times when we think that peace is never a possibility. Christ was born with a pure heart and humbled himself by lying in a manger. Poor or rich it doesn’t matter, what matters is what comes from within.

Christmas is so much more than getting presents. It is truly the holiday of giving and love. The greatest gifts are not those wrapped under the tree or dressed in colorful bows. They are those given with an open heart, one wrapped in the ribbons of faith, hope, and love.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Meaning Of Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful. It’s a time to “give thanks” for all we have and for each other. Thanksgiving is also filled with traditions. Every family has a tradition. Some like to go to the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Others like to have a family game of a flag football while others run Turkey Trots. I probably could name a few other traditions, but I would like to talk about mine.

Growing up my family went to my grandmothers house in Yonkers. We did it every year until she passed away. We did go to Florida one year, to celebrate with my aunt and uncle, but that too was short-lived. We did try to get together with the ENTIRE family, but being that there are around forty of us, it was a little tight. Then we started having Thanksgiving at our house. My other grandmother and my great aunt came over to my house, as did my aunt from Florida. Sadly, my other grandmother and my aunt passed away years ago, but my great-aunt just turned 103! My family does play a football game in the morning and some of us did do the Turkey Trot for a few years, but the best part of my family now is that it is growing, so the Turkey Trot was happily voided, for now. We may go back to doing it in the future.

Each year I would donate food to the food cupboard for my church which takes care of over one hundred families during this time of year. But I never thought that was enough. Thanksgiving always meant to ‘give” for me. And that is when something awesome happened. I met this fun and amazing woman on Twitter, then we became Facebook friends. I actually have some really close friends that I met on Twitter and Facebook in the beginning stages of when social media started.

So, we had awesome conversations online and then, being that she is a Mets fan, I met her at the game, (even though I am a Yankees Fan.) It was great to meet in person and we then started to meet up in the City from time to time.

Then one week before Thanksgiving, she posted on Facebook that she had no where to go for Thanksgiving. I was so sad seeing that post, so I invited her and her brother to my house for Thanksgiving. Now, ten years later, the tradition is still in full effect, but of course we are growing at the table with her boyfriend and my nephew and niece. But it is always the best time!

So, in closing, Thanksgiving means more than just food, football and family. It means giving back. It means sharing your family with those who don’t necessarily have a place to go and making your home, their home. Thanksgiving Day isn’t about shopping for sales. (That’s what Black Friday is for!) Thanksgiving Day should give you hope in humanity. Thanksgiving Day should be about acknowledging our gratitude together. Thanksgiving is a good reminder that amidst of all the disasters and stresses in life, joy is easy to find. We should be able to realize what we can do and be more open to trying to serve. The way to go beyond being thankful is to have the commitment of giving.

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Social Media And Athletes

You’re an athlete, I don’t have to tell you the importance of using common sense on social media.  There’s such a thing as having your tweet or post backfire and cause you a headache of issues.  There are countless reasons why a professional athlete might be interested in using social media – if they are the actual ones doing the posting and not leaving it up to their PR people, which I find is a mistake and then some.

Some of the reasons why they “think” they should use a platform are quite simple- attract media attention, build a brand or specific reputation, provide exposure for sponsors, or even to let fans get an inside glimpse of their lives.  But…. Are those actually good reasons for being on social media in the first place?

They miss the boat on what exactly social media can do for them besides gaining sponsorships with corporations.  First and foremost it is called “Social Media” not Anti-social media.  Most professional athletes fail to connect with actual people and just respond to other celebrities and athletes.  They could in turn learn a lot from just connecting online with fans that support them!  Just a little response like, “Thank you for your support- it means a lot…” and then add a teams hashtag would make that connection to the fan base even stronger.

The next reason to use social media as an athlete would be to inspire or motivate others. There is the 80/20 rule that most don’t follow and that is 80% of your content should be motivating, inspiring, fun, educating and engaging and 20% sell.  This goes for EVERY business using social media, not just athletes.  Most athletes miss the opportunity to use social media to tell their own story- where they grew up, how they got to where they are, etc. On social media an athlete can tell a real-life story with ups and downs, comebacks, setbacks, tests and triumphs. It’s not all glamorous. 

Here’s what I rarely see athletes do: They don’t Show themselves in action both on and off the field of play: While it’s important to show how they compete,  they decide to post pictures of waiting at airports, training in the gym, getting on a bus, etc.  They don’t  Let Their personality shine: Many athletes are so scared of social media controversy that they edit their accounts down to the point that they feel inauthentic; fake people, not keeping it real. Remember, personality can’t be photoshopped. The most popular social media accounts feel authentic. There’s no robot posting for them, hence why I can’t stand it when athletes and celebrities let their PR department, who knows squat about social media, post for them.  They don’t hire the correct people to bring out the realness of the person, so it feels as if a robot is If else you may lose your followers in translation.

Finally, this tip goes for all who use social media: Use correct spelling and grammar. I know, I have heard from many folks on this topic and the usual response is, “It’s just social media!” That many be true but  using correct spelling and grammar goes a long way, especially in showing others that you are professional and that you care.  Also, when posting limit the times you use abbreviations,  or else you may lose your followers in translation. ( Especially when we all are reading it and go, “What the hell is he talking about?” )