Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Your Tip For Tuesday

The recipe for happiness is trying to stop controlling everyone else. Worry about YOU!


1. Stop trying to tell people to wear the masks- your posts aren’t changing minds instead they are working against you.
2. Stop trying to tell people who to vote for- your posts aren’t changing minds, mostly everyone knows who they are voting for already.
3. Stop judging people- you only walked in on the chapter that they LET you walk in on, social media posts don’t tell you anything about what people go through, who people are and the battles they are fighting in silence.
4. Again, your nose belongs on your face and NOT in other people’s business- control YOUR emotions- control YOUR reactions and then maybe you’ll be happier.   hearts

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What The Beach Can Teach You About Relationships

While at the beach, one summer, I remembered how the weather went from clear and sunny, to cloudy and stormy in a flash. The waves were crashing, the wind was blowing and the lightning was remarkable. Then about two hours later, the clouds vanished, the sun came out shining and the storm was over. That got me thinking about relationships.
Sometimes a relationship can start out sunny and in a blink of an eye it can get stormy out of the blue. Sometimes a relationship can be just like the ocean; calm one minute and then stormy the next. Sometimes a relationship can get very stormy and you think it is never going to get better when all of a sudden, the sun comes out, the skies clear, and you feel that the relationship just took a major step forward for the better.
People these days are so quick to end a relationship when times gets stormy. They want the “sunny skies” all the time, but in reality that is just a fantasy. We are human therefore it is normal to disagree, it is normal to fight, and it is even healthy to have arguments from time to time. Not one relationship goes through life without a disagreement from time to time. The movies and TV shows you watch that show how perfect relationships are, are simply fake. The scripts that show a conflict in a relationship and how “easy and quick” it is “fixed,” has poisoned our minds. It is a mistake to think that your life can be mirrored from the movies and TV shows you watch.
Ever hear of Cinderella and Prince Charming? Growing up with the fairy tale,  that one day a tall, handsome man is going to come riding into town and sweep me off my feet is the reason why many women have an unrealistic view on love. The same could be said about men having unrealistic view on sex thanks to porn. But getting back to to how being at the beach has made me think more and more about relationships.
The beach is just like a relationship whereas when you stumble on a seashell that you had no intention of looking for or finding, your excitement for finding that seashell is overwhelming. The same could be said for relationships. When you aren’t looking, that is when love finds you. Love is a funny thing, the harder you look to find it, the harder it is to find. But once you stop looking, someone will walk into your life and you’ll find it.
I hate seeing girls act desperate for a man these days.  They are on dating apps, social media apps, all for the purpose of finding their one true love.  They are going about it wrong.  They call it falling in love because you just fall. You don’t force yourself to trip. Lighthouses don’t move around looking for boats. They stay in one place and shine, letting the boats come to them. Just remember that, the person who dances with you in the rain will most likely walk with you in the storm. And that is the best relationship to have and to find.

 

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Change Takes More Than Just Voicing Your Opinion

See here is part of the problem: people create MORE HATE using Social Media. If you want change it starts with YOU. Not everyone is going to run to agree with you at first. That’s okay. Eventually some will. But change starts from not allowing YOURSELF to promote hate which lately social media has been doing more of-  we cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence. If we substituted our view for insight and understanding. Think how much better this world would be. #ThinkBeforeYouPost
To answer those wh it’s not a platform to “ speak the truth” it is a platform that is supSee here – part of the problem- creating MORE HATE using Social Media. If you want change it starts with YOU. Not everyone is going to run to agree with you at first. That’s okay. Eventually some will. But change starts from not allowing YOURSELF to promote hate which this post does. So what happens to the people who don’t agree with the protest and others “take it in their own hands” and harm them because you were so “brave ” to call them out? Who is held accountable? We cling to our own point of view, as though everything depended on it. Yet our opinions have no permanence. If we substituted our view for insight and understanding. Think how much better this world would be. #ThinkBeforeYouPost

To answer those who keep telling me that social media is a platform to “speak the truth,” I have this to say: No it’s not a platform to “ speak the truth” it is a platform that is supposed to BUILD UP the community not call people out who don’t agree with you! Calling people out because they don’t agree with you is hypocrisy.  You want unity. You want peace. Yet, there you are on social media calling those people out because they don’t agree with you- and looking very ignorant and hateful while doing it.  Showing more people hate by calling them out on a platform that is supposed to be about building up a community does the opposite.

Seeing all the NFL players and some athletes who are in the NBA and NHL come out this week and “voice” their opinions and then go after others who share a different view.  Can someone tell me, how does that help things and how does that change things?  And most of these athletes NEVER EVER do ANYTHING to change the narrative that they so “eloquently” tweet or post on Instagram about- it’s just words. ( BUT there have been a few professional athletes who have physically STEPPED UP- Dak Prescott, PK Subban, K’Andre Miller, Patrick Kane,  3 hockey players- 1 football player)

This is not the first time we have been here with a cop who should have NEVER been a cop killing someone in custody. But because everyone does the SAME thing after this happens, we all end up in the same pattern.  You can listen what I mean here: Click Link  You can also watch me talk about what I mean here: Click Link

If you want to know what’s wrong with our society look no further then Chrissy Tiigen, Steve Carell, Seth Rogen wanting to bail out those who burned down a city, destroyed businesses that had nothing to do with Floyd. This doesn’t honor him. This makes his death now in vain. What does stealing a flat screen from Target help with the memory of The man that was murdered? You lost your cause the minute rioting and looting started.

As beautiful as this sentiment, ” We need to rid the world of racism” is,  sadly it’s unrealistic. Love is real. Hate is real. Both are human emotions. Both exist. You can’t force people to only feel one emotion and think one way. We would not be a free society if we did things that way. BUT…. It’s how you take the negative emotion and change YOUR life- point the thumb first to YOU before you point the finger not to others. Change takes works. Change starts with you.  We can make a difference if we finally get out of the same pattern we are in ( click the links to get an understanding of what pattern I am talking about) and we look at people for who they are on the inside not for what they look like on the outside. ( This also goes for fat shaming, calling people ugly,  focusing on a woman’s looks more than her heart, and judging the worth of somebody’s appearance just from looking at their social media posts.)

It should NEVER matter what a person looks like – because in the end we all have the same organs and we all bleed red.  It’s not okay to judge ALL people based on 1 person. Like in any profession, there are bad cops, bad teachers and bad doctors. They do not define everyone. United we stand, divided we fall. 

REMINDER: Virtually every single American condemned the murder of #GeorgeFloyd and did so immediately. Every color and all sides of the political spectrum. American cities are burning over something we all agree with. Now marinate on that.

 

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What Have We Learned?

Starting week five of being quarantined in my house, I am starting to look at what this virus is ( and should be) teaching us about life and about relationships. As this pandemic has unfolded, it has shifted how we live, how we work and how we value life.

The coronavirus has taught us that we are all connected. No matter how much money we make, where we live, what religion we practice, and so-forth, the virus has shown us that in times like this, when we stick together are we at our strongest and it has reminded us of just how much we have taken for granted. Not being able to gather together, hug each other, having the freedom to go out where and when we want, are just a few things that we have taken for granted now that we have to sit at home. Every day just pours into next day. If you haven’t thought about it, take a drive around your town and look at how it looks like a ghost town right about now.

During this crisis we may indeed notice who and what is most important. People now know who their true friends really are and just how important you are to them. Everyone is “stuck” at home. If they haven’t reached out by email, text, or even DM, then I am sorry to say…..   to finish reading, click the link and it will take you to the article I wrote for Vocal Media:

The Lessons from The CoronaVirus

index

 

 

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Relationships In Times Of Social Distancing

As we have been quarantined for awhile now practicing social distance, working from home, and now not being able to be around other people, it got me thinking about relationships in our lives.

There pretty much are four categories:

1- Those that are familiar and make us feel good.

2- Those that bring you adventure and make you question everything.

3- Those that are put on hold.

4- Those that make you crave more.

First and foremost, the relationships that most of us miss are the familiar. Our families, friends, and co-workers. The ones that we spend the most time with during the day, let alone the week. Of course these people are the ones that make us feel good about our lives and make us feel full of life. Whether we have small conversations during the day, hang out at the bar after work or make plans with friends to go to “the game,” we have connections that increase our emotional well being and boost your mood. It’s essential to have those people in your life who you can trust when we face those challenges life can bring and having someone to vent to is also important.

The next type of relationship are the ones that bring us adventure and make you question just about everything in that happens in life. These are needed for an upbeat life- not a dull life. Without these connections and relationships, we would all live a very depressed life. Successful lives grow out of having adventures. The adventure of your life is so important that it demands the best of your attention, and the most of your energies, on a daily basis, so that you can have a well-balanced life. Being adventurous and questioning why things are the way they are, expands and broaden our mind and makes us learn new and unique things which were unknown before.

The bad thing about being stuck in quarantine, are the relationships that were now put on hold. There are some folks that get excited about meeting new people, having new friendships, and even having romantic relationships blossom. In this time of social distancing, we are forced to put some of these new possibilities on hold simply because to build a relationship isn’t something you can do over just with texting, Facetime and social media, it’s something that we have to do physically.

Of course there are relationships that make us crave more. These are a combination of 1-3. The importance of adventure in our life provides a positive attitude in the same way it releases our stress because during the adventure it take us away from our hectic life to a new happy life at least for a short period of time. Some relationships inspire us, shape us, mold us, and make us simply appreciate life more. All of us need love in our lives, even though there might be some people who will deny that.

Where there is love ,there is hope. And when there is hope, then anything is possible. Love doesn’t have an age, a race, a religion, or a gender. Love is something that binds us together. It’s the soul of any relationship.

So, while we sit here and wait for our lives to get back to normal, I hope that when we do, we don’t go back to “normal.” I hope this quarantine and social distancing makes each and every one of us realize how blessed we are to have relationships already in our lives, the chance to grow new relationships, and the possibility to make each moment we get to live, memorable. Maybe we will appreciate each other more. Maybe we will love with less restrictions. Maybe when all is said and done, we will take time to literally, “smell the roses,” while being forced right now to wake up and “smell the coffee.”

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Corona Virus 101: What The Media Isn’t Telling You

( ALL RESEARCHED!!)

Human coronavirus is a common, enveloped, positive-sense RNA virus, with most people contracting it during their lifetime. Coronaviruses cause mild to moderate upper-respiratory tract illnesses. There are six currently known strains of coronaviruses that infect humans. The most common infection globally is from human coronaviruses 229E, NL63, OC43, and HKU1. The much publicized human coronavirus, SARS-CoV, which causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS, has a unique pathogenesis because it causes both upper and lower respiratory tract infections and can also cause gastroenteritis. The six human coronaviruses are: alpha coronaviruses 229E and NL63, and beta coronaviruses OC43, HKU1, SARS-CoV (SARS), and MERS-CoV (the coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome or MERS).

Human coronaviruses were first identified in the mid-1960s. The seven coronaviruses that can infect people are:

229E (alpha coronavirus)
NL63 (alpha coronavirus)
OC43 (beta coronavirus)
HKU1 (beta coronavirus)

MERS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes Middle East Respiratory Syndrome, or MERS)
SARS-CoV (the beta coronavirus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome, or SARS)
SARS-CoV-2 (the novel coronavirus that causes coronavirus disease 2019, or COVID-19)

People around the world commonly get infected with human coronaviruses 229E, NL63, OC43, and HKU1.

Sometimes coronaviruses that infect animals can evolve and make people sick and become a new human coronavirus. Three recent examples of this are 2019-nCoV, SARS-CoV, and MERS-CoV.

Coronaviruses are a large group of viruses that cause diseases in animals and humans. They often circulate among camels, cats, and bats, and can sometimes evolve and infect people.

In animals, coronaviruses can cause diarrhea in cows and pigs, and upper respiratory disease in chickens. In humans, the viruses can cause mild respiratory infections, like the common cold, but can lead to serious illnesses, like pneumonia.

Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) was first reported in 2012 in Saudi Arabia and spread to more than 25 other countries. MERS originated in camels and emerged to infect people. Symptoms usually include fever, cough, and shortness of breath, and often progress to pneumonia. About 3 or 4 out of every 10 patients reported with MERS have died. MERS cases continue to occur, primarily in the Arabian Peninsula; however, as of 2019, there have been only two confirmed cases of MERS in the US, both in 2014.

Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) originated in small mammal and emerged to infect people. SARS was first reported in Southern China in 2002 and the illness spread to more than two dozen countries in North America, South America, Europe, and Asia. Symptoms include fever, chills, and body aches, and may progress to pneumonia. Infection with the SARS virus causes acute respiratory distress (severe breathing difficulty), with a mortality rate of about 10 percent. No human cases of SARS have been reported anywhere in the world since 2004.

Both seasonal flu viruses (which include influenza A and influenza B viruses) and COVID-19 are contagious viruses that cause respiratory illness. Typical flu symptoms include fever, cough, sore throat, muscle aches, headaches, runny or stuffy nose, fatigue and, sometimes, vomiting and diarrhea, according to the CDC. Flu symptoms often come on suddenly. Most people who get the flu will recover in less than two weeks. But in some people, the flu causes complications, including pneumonia.
In general, studies of hospitalized patients have found that about 83% to 98% of patients develop a fever, 76% to 82% develop a dry cough and 11% to 44% develop fatigue or muscle aches, according to a review study on COVID-19 published Feb. 28 in the journal JAMA. Other symptoms, including headache, sore throat, abdominal pain, and diarrhea, have been reported, but are less common. Critical cases are those who have underlying health conditions. #Flu #Corona

So  now doctor’s offices are asking parents not to bring in their sick kid into the doctor’s office. I get it IF they traveled to the affected areas BUT if a kid has a cough and fever but didn’t travel, then the doctor will see them in the office? What about before this coronavirus – they saw kids with coughs and fevers- and they never got this upset over it before!
This virus isn’t new- Corona has many other strains- the flu kills more and that sadly includes kids. They had patients in waiting rooms with the flu!

This whole thing is blown out of proportion 🤦‍♀️ ( BTW: over 500,000 in Europe and Asia)  are now better from the virus. You just don’t hear that from the media at all!

Now the NHL, MLB, NBA are not granting beat writers locker room access.  Heaven Forbid you want to high five or fist bump a player- oh no, you can’t now because of the damn corona! But you can take a picture with them and sit or stand really, really, close to them instead! #Sarcasm

They are thinking of having games with fans.   People are not taking trips, don’t want to be at events or even BNI, because This entire thing is out of proportion and by everyone doing these things – adds to the PANIC that is it causing. This IS NOT using common sense. Especially since the death toll in the States is only at 26. The Death toll to date on the flu in the US: 14,000 and that included 100 kids.

The chance of catching Corona is almost zero. Whereas you have a 5% to 20% of catching the flu.  Stop posting places to buy toilet paper, wipes, sanitizer, disinfectant spray, hand soap, etc.  Stop adding to the freaking panic!
Wash your hands.
Wipe down devices.
Wipe down doorknobs.
Cough and Sneeze in your elbow.
Throw out used tissues.
Stay home if you are sick.
All these things that you can to do by using common sense. That’s what we should be preaching- not preaching panic!

 

 

 

 

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Diary of a Social Gal Part 5

 

People think that I must lead a glorious life.  Blogger, Writer, Girl Boss, Cheerleading Coach, and so forth. Oh yes,  it’s glorious. (Add Sarcasm)

Let me preface this story with a wild little fact:  Doing all the above as your full-time job is actually really hard work! When I tell people what I do, they often laugh and say something like,  “Must be nice getting paid to sit in your PJs all day.”  Clearly, there is some confusion about what I do all day, so I’m here to spill the beans-

First thing I do each day is work out.
Then it’s time for coffee and mapping out my day.
I do have to then check emails, social media platforms for me and my clients.

Next thing on my list is to see what I can get done quickly.  ( I will go into this later on)

Writing, blogging, researching topics for my books, for social media posts, and also checking the updates to what each social media platform is doing in regards to the algorithm.   Now I can either post live or schedule some posts to go off later on.

Of course then I have to now switch gears and watch cheerleading routines – you should see my collection of DVDs – I also check out Pinterest and Youtube.  Then of course I have to make sure things that I would like my team to do are within the rules.

Workout 2 begins- Dance

Then well, I guess I should take a break.  So it’s probably lunchtime by now and if I don’t have any meetings or phone calls I can at least give myself an hour to do nothing.  (Now, when I have my radio show, I usually during lunchtime am setting up what I am going to be talking about and reviewing what I should talk about)

When that hour is over I now turn my attention in looking into some of my other ideas, create something, work on something, and I am either back online or responding to emails and messages.

Practice time

Home and I am done for the day. Although sometimes I do answer more emails at this time but I now give myself time to recoup from the day, watch sports, and go to sleep.

Check out the video on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest and stay tuned for videos coming entitled:

behind the scene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Diary Of A Social Gal Part 4

teaching

I enjoyed my years as a teacher.  When people ask me what was my favorite part, I always without hesitation answer, the kids.  The kids were the best part of the job.  They taught me a lot about life.

1- Preschool children are matter-of-fact and blunt with the truth. Truthful and direct feedback also helps us build resilience, instead of always sugar-coating the truth and only telling someone what they want to hear.

2- All children come from different backgrounds, but when you see them skip or run through the playground and run to hug you, they make it clear that they are there to have fun in a safe environment and that they feel secure.

3- Kids love to learn without even knowing that they are learning.  To them, it makes the world exciting and new.  Kids have the knack of wanting to ask the questions, “Why?” “How?” “When?” all day long.  They have curious minds and this love of learning is what molds them into the adults they will become.

Working with kids I have developed patience,  got much more comfortable in my own skin no matter what someone else thinks.  I have learned that being truthful and kind are so very important in this world and when all else fails,  always know that a cookie can make everything feel better.

Adults have to remember that they are the example they set for their kids and for kids in general. We are each child’s biggest influence, and if we are patient, kind, good-tempered, and happy, then they will be too.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

It’s that dreaded time: Valentine’s Day

Everybody has a right to be happy.

That is not the issue. The issue at hand is how we go about trying to find that true happiness and if that’s all we are doing, then my question is: Why do we believe that the only way to be truly happy is if we are in a relationship?

First off, let’s talk about what constitutes a relationship, because I feel in today’s world with social media, dating sites, and all that jazz, people are forgetting the clear definition of what a relationship is. In the dictionary a relationship is defined as, “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” While an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Notice that a relationship can be either physical, emotional, or even a combination of both. This also counts for all those “online relationships” people are having these days.

You go on Facebook to network or share your passion for something, since there are tons of groups and fan pages these days, and you strike up a conversation with someone. Next thing you know, you are talking to this person everyday. The minute you blink your eyes, you now find yourself talking to this person about your life, he/she asks you for your phone number, and he/she says those exciting words: Let’s finally meet.
The only problem is that every time you bring up about meeting in person, he/she has some lame excuse. (Trust me, I have heard many crazy excuses from people telling me about their experiences!)

The same situation can also happen on Twitter, Instagram, or of course those nightmare dating sites.

Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but for the sake of this article, I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!

So, what does this all mean? It simply means that even though you aren’t married to this person, even though you have yet to meet this person face to face, while you are talking every day, and some get very intimate online, you are emotionally connected. And yes I know that some people chat it up with a lot of folks, especially guys. Tom chats with Donna, Cindy, Vanessa, and then there’s Denise. But if Tom is just chatting with those girls every so often and he is seriously talking to Mindy every day online, while also calling her on the phone, and he talked about wanting to finally meet up and that he loves her, Tom is in a relationship with Mindy and only Mindy.

I love guys online who constantly tell me that it’s not cheating if you aren’t married. That’s just the excuse they give themselves for their behavior as well as the way to reason with themselves that they didn’t fall for someone online. Remember, any type of cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice. Single is only a status you fill out on a form, just because you aren’t checking the married box, doesn’t mean that you can’t cheat.

That is basically relationship 101.
Now back to my question, why do we feel that in order to be happy we must be in a relationship?

The thing is, nobody can give us a better life but ourselves, if you wait for someone to make you happy you will never be. But as human nature plays a part in our daily lives, no matter how many times you say you don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend, your heart still craves to love someone truly. The thing to remember is this, sex is so easy to find, that’s why love is so hard to get. Our heart is like an unfinished puzzle, that is why we search for the perfect one to complete it. That’s is why some relationships end and new ones begin. Don’t just settle for someone, make sure that person is the one who fits the puzzle, because if you just try to force a relationship to work, you are hurting yourself and wasting someone else’s time.

You learn how to love others through the simple act of loving yourself. Without it, you will never be able to love someone else completely. So, to answer the question, the most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself, but, if you are looking for love this Valentine’s Day; here are 3 rules to remember. 

RULE 1: Never EVER get yourself involved in a relationship with a man/woman who is newly divorced. He is still grieving the relationship himself & trying to sort out feelings. The worse thing to do is get hung up on a man who will be looking out for himself.

RULE 2: Know your worth. Most women forget about this one & feel that they aren’t worth it without a man. That’s when you settle for less than you deserve. Men: Don’t go for eye candy, go for a woman who has the biggest heart, the best personality and someone who will support your dreams.

RULE 3: In any relationship there needs to be trust & honesty; when there isn’t you don’t have a relationship at all. You are just 2 people in the same room.

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20 random things about me for 2020

 

1- I am trademarking a name of a product that I intend to sell.

2. I am still researching the development of an app.

3. My follow-up to hello love where is Cupid second edition will be published in 2020. I still yet have to create a title.

4. My competition cheerleading team will be competing in 2020.

5. I will be posting a lot more branded content in 2020 since I am a social media influencer and a lot more companies want me to do it. 

6. I want to read 20 books in 2020.

7. I may go back to school to take a course in 2020, but I am still looking at my options.

8. I never make New Year Resolutions…. ever.

9. I will also be writing a few short stories in 2020.  Including a paperback for my Cat’s Diary Book.

10. I am on social media for work at least 60 hours a week- but I do take breaks.

From 11 to 20 will just be random fun facts about me- so you can get to know me.

11. I was not made for winter.  Summer is my favorite season.

12. I wrote my best seller ” Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd ed” while I was at the beach. ( I put it together… It took 2 years of research though.)

13. I can’t eat mushrooms.

14. I really don’t like to eat fish unless I put hot sauce on it.  But I do like crab cakes and shrimp.

15. My birthday in 2020 is on a Tuesday thanks to leap year!

16.  I spend my early mornings working out, drinking coffee, planning out my day.

17. I am part of a million dollar BNI chapter.

18. I can’t stand it when people don’t say Thank you.  I don’t need anything in return other than having folks show me that they appreciate my effort.

19. I am left-handed.  Living in a right-handed world still isn’t that easy.

20. My favorite flower is a daisy. My favorite color is pink.