When Is Enough, Enough.

Here we again in 2021, where a woman came forward back in 2016 that Jared Porter, the then head of scouting of The Cubs sent a woman reporter unsolicited text messages hitting on her at Yankees Stadium and asking her to go for a drink. The fact that she responded to his messages at first, to only allow him to carry on for 60 text messages and never respond with GET LOST allowed him to keep perusing her- because there she sent him mixed signals.

Here’s the difference between her and me, after I got text 1 and wasn’t interested I would have told him off nicely. If he continued then I would have had to get bitchy.
Then it was said that he sent her a picture of his penis ( or a stock image, who knows at this point)

Guys sending photos of their junk shows their inability to communicate maturely. Men think the photos will serve to arouse the woman – because they, themselves, would find it arousing if that woman sent such a photo to them. And believe me, there are women who do such things. Some people think this is a sign of predator behavior. And to those people I will say this: have you ever heard of Tinder? Even before Tinder guys have been doing this forever – Would you like to know how MANY of those dick pics I have gotten on Twitter?

This toxic culture has been in sports forever. Look at how athletes treat women. Look at how the leagues treat women. But more importantly, the women put up with being treated as sex-objects and don’t stand their ground. Time for women to step it up. This particular woman waited 5 years to allow this story to break. ESPN knew of this story a year after it happened but the woman did not want them to report it. SO why now? This is again, what women need to do: They can’t wait until it’s convenient for them to come forward, they must be brave enough to come forward when it happens. The only way to stop things is to stop it when it happens, not let it continue to stew. Let’s play devil’s advocate: What happens if Jared did this with another woman and because the first woman never came forward, this poor woman was sexually assaulted.

Back in college I was stalked by this guy. I had completely NO interest in him whatsoever. He liked to hang around a friend of mine back then. First he got my friend to give him my number. Then he invited himself to my house. He called my house. He spoke to my parents. He constantly bothered me. This went on for 2 weeks until I finally spoke up and told him to go away- that I wasn’t interested in him at all and I was not friends with him either. (Now, maybe folks know why I am totally against being set up… that’s a blog for another day!)

The point being, this could have gone on for months if I didn’t stand my ground, send him a clear signal that I was not interested in him at all, not let the pursuing continue. This is why ignoring someone is not the best method to deal with situations. Thinking that they will eventually “go away” is the wrong approach. Remember, you never know what someone’s breaking point is, and when you are dealing with emotions, you can’t just “let that slide.”

This does not fall on the men alone. Yes, men need to be better but women need to do better too. Women need to be able to send clear cut signals of NO means no. And men need to be able to receive that message and move on.

Look for the preview of my book, “Relationship Impossible” in the coming future.

The Crazy Folks Are Found On Tinder

As I get my upcoming book in order, I had to go back on dating apps. Yikes! So Here are a couple “winners” I found as to what type of guy you find on dating apps, I mean hook up apps, like Tinder:

Bull, 38
Tall. Sane. Clean. Educated. Repectfully dominant and well eqipped. Thorough. Verbal, Love roleplay or fantasy. We only have 1 life to live. ( Sounds like someone who is looking for that girl who wants to hook up and just head on over to the bedroom, or hotel room and get some and then it’s onto the next.)

Leo, 41
Married dad looking for a submissive to have my way with. ( MARRIED… Hello? Do I need say more?)

Hammond, 41

Online dating is so hard when you’re a truthful person. I feel like it makes you savage and makes you jaded. Most don’t read the profile because all they are looking for is sex and I’m not on here for that. (Sounds like he is trying to sound like he’s not interested in hooking up but then why is he even on this app that is all about the hook up?)

Kevin, 34

6’3 = I’m taller than you! I’m not going to remember that I have this app about after 2 months, but message me and I’ll get an alerty and check it.
Giving this a try because Covid makes it impossible to meet people the old fashion way.
“You look so much cuter with something in your mouth” I hate Nickelback but once in awhile they get it right. ( So, Covid is making it impossible to meet people BUT yet, here he is trying to get a hook up online. Yay! Let’s have a-kind-of-hook-up-on-Zoom-or-Facetime! )

Zack, 30

I got a B+ on Human Sexuality in College. So let’s just say that I know my way around a *checks poorly scribbled notes*

Clitoris ( And Zack’s profile picture of him half naked in a pool, where do I sign up? – That’s Sarcasm Folks.)

And …. yes, not only do guys have poor choice of words in these bios, but their profile pictures are another thing all together. The sad thing is, women are falling for this crap day in and day out or they wouldn’t have that many subscribers to the app.

As one guy put it, “With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day – the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.” – ( and let’s add the spread of STD’s, other diseases, and yes, unwanted pregnancies.)

If you seriously think about it rock stars and professional athletes have enjoyed easily accessible casual sex for decades. Now with these apps, access to all these women who want to just “do it” makes it one thousand times easier. Tinder allow everyone to seek brief validation in the form of casual sex with a stranger. Why do women, who in the age of “Me Too,” want to play the game by the guys rules? What women on Tinder have not realized yet is the fact that men you meet on Tinder most likely are not available; look at the list above, just about all those bios I listed maybe one guy is “available” for a relationship.

Remember ladies, no matter how good you are in the sack, you are not going to turn a casual sex with a guy into a meaningful relationship- EVER. The guy will remember you, There are 3 types of women in a guy’s mind:

The hook up 2am girl – they would never date or have a long term relationship with her only sex. (These are those girls who are also “good in the sack” )

Friend Zone – if you aren’t attracted to each other then it’s going to be impossible to get out of the friend zone.

Wife material- He sees that you are smart, attractive and he sees that you have a lot to offer.

Do you really think these apps are going to make a guy look for wife material?

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, but you allow someone into your life in a “casual way,” then that’s what you get. If you instead hold out for someone who is also looking for the commitment you are, then you’ll get that instead.

The choice is up to you. Choose wisely.

A new year brings hope

See how you can experience joy and gratitude in the coming year. In times of crisis it is hard to be hopeful.. But it’s not impossible—and may be the key to mentally surviving a crisis like this. Despite the burdens of the recent past you can look to the future with the likelihood of positive change. You can turn turmoil and crisis into opportunity.

Discover your primary inner strength that will bring you through the problems that life gives you?

This is a 30 day New Year New You campaign which is all about empowering ourselves to overcome the challenges of 2020 and starting fresh in 2021.

To Sign Up ClickHere: CLICK

Social Media Is Out Of Control

When did #Facebook and #Twitter turn into The Maury Povich Show but then in the same breath turned into The Jerry Springer Show?People hating on each other and criticizing each other all damn day- People are afraid to have actual conversations because, geez, you might learn something and then of course the rest of you hate being wrong and have to argue until you are told that you right. (Or you use the dumb line, “Let’s agree to disagree, because you HAVE to make sure the other person hears your point of view!)

You all look like little children screaming at each other on the playground.
I’ve said it before and as a #socialmedia expert I will say it again:Social Media was NOT intended for Political discussion. And if you want to know WHY- you’ve all been witnessing the reason since 2015.


Show me pictures of your pets, kids, vacations, from long ago.Show me pictures of nature, of your favorite sports teams, your favorite foods, hobbies.

Talk about #inspring others

Talk about what you enjoy about life.

Post things that are funny, #motivating that show others you care.

Social Media was intended to BUILD UP the community and it was intended to BUILD UP EACH OTHER! It wasn’t intended for what you are all turning it into!(And don’t talk to me about Freedom Of Speech, and this is my page, please… STOP. What you post you need to be ACCOUNTABLE for: WORDS have POWER!)

BTW- we wouldn’t be in the mess if the people on BOTH sides would stop re-electing the same dumb-asses while at the same time expecting different results.

STOP living life as a Republican, Democrat, Conservative or Liberal and start living life as an AMERICAN. Try to be the BEST one you can be. When you start to do this , then and only then will things get better.

STOP attacking each other and start caring about one another. Remember, we are ALL in this TOGETHER-Together we RISE, Together we FALL. Which direction do you wish to go?

PEACE OUT(Oh, if you DARE comment ANYTHING on this post in a political matter, I will delete it – and you obviously didn’t let what I said sink in. )

A Look Back At 2020 And A Look Ahead at 2021

2020, may be coming to end, but the challenges we faced this year continue as we go into 2021. Yet in 2020 we saw people around the world come together to help others facing the unknown, as allies and advocates for not only their friends and community members, but for people they may never meet — providing financial support, emotional support or even inspiring others to lend a hand in any way they can. 2020 is the year that forever changed us all. It forced us to slow down, give up things (whether we wanted to or not), but it forced us to grow in ways we might not have grown without Covid.

I used to think that being busy all the time showed people that I was one of the best go get’em and knock them dead entrepreneurs.. That if I wasn’t doing anything productive or knocking off all the items on my to-do lists that I was just a complete failure. 2020 taught me that it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to take time off from my “busy life” and just live in the moments that I am given.

Another thing that 2020 has taught me is that it’s okay to ask for help. Some people are so afraid to ask for help because then it means that they aren’t the superman or superwoman most thought they were. We all can’t do everything alone, sometimes we need to put our egos aside and reach out.

As someone who loves social media, 2020 has taught us that your mind can’t handle the constant negativity, fighting, and toxicity that you see, and hopefully you learned to really limit your consumption of it all. I did this prior to 2020, but I do this even better because of crazy-ass year we have had.

Finally, instead of worrying about all the things yet to come and all the things I wish we had, this year I found myself learning to be completely content with what surrounded me. Yes, I had the worst birthday, with not being able to go out, and yes, I wanted to have new adventures this year, but what 2020 made me realize is that the most important thing in the world is love and being surrounded by it.

2020 taught me that sometimes you have to risk opening up and putting everything on the table because if you don’t, then you lose the chance of not getting to know people. We’ve all been hurt and we’ve all had heartbreak but if you’re not willing to take a risk then you miss out on the relationships that could be amazing. Life is short. Don’t sit there and ponder, “What if.” No man is an island. Reach out, and it may be the beginning of something beautiful. 

We all faced many challenges this year, but I was blessed to have some amazing people who stood by my side the entire time. They know who they are. All I can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart. And to all those strangers out there on social media that have become some of the best people that I have light conversations with, thank you for becoming a part of life.

Happy New Year!

Did You Know That I Have 2 Podcasts? ( and that you create one too!)

2020 is all about the podcasts. I have had a radio show that I have done for the past 3 years. It’s broadcasted on the radio station’s website and also I record it LIVE on Facebook. Then I save the video and put the replay on my Youtube channel. It’s called #TheSassyShow

The other podcast I do, #SassyNation was originally a recap or a preview of what #TheSassyShow was going to be about or what was about, but then the pandemic happened and it turned into another podcast all together. On this one I use Zoom to record the audio (there is NO video needed for this podcast) then transfer it to a sight called Anchor, add a few sponsor segments and BOOM- it has become it’s very own podcast.
Now, I will share the links for all these at the end but if you looking to expand your brand, get your voice heard or even if you want to try to become the next social media star, a podcast can do that for you.

Like I said, I use #Facebook #Youtube for the first one and #Zoom #Anchor for the second one. You can also use #IGTV and create your own series there too! Oh, did I forget to mention that it costs me $0.00 to do this?! I don’t have any expensive equipment. I don’t have any professional, nor do you need it. All you need is a an iphone or itouch, and a laptop with a built in camera and microphone. That’s it. The topics I discuss on my shows are wrapped around social media, athletes, sports, and tips as to how to use platforms (with also breaking news on changes to each social media platform)

To listen to mine here are some links:

The Sassy Show from 12/3/20

The Sassy Show from 11/19/20

To subscribe to my Youtube Channel – Here you will also get videos I created from coaching Cheerleading, relationship advice, AND updates to my projects besides just #TheSassyShow

Sassy Nation – My special ed about #NYJets ( by the way I curse, so don’t be surprised lol)

Sassy Nation 10/02/20

Sassy Nation 11/20/20

If you would like to be a sponsor or support the podcast you can do so here: Support

If you would like to subscirbe to #SassyNation on Spotify you can here

2020 Should Be The Year Of Gratitude

2020 has somehow been the best year of your life and you don’t even know it. We’ve all faced challenge after challenge. You’ve adapted, no matter how slow it took you to adapt. And 2020 has forced us to grow exponentially. We shouldn’t take that for granted. Instead we should be grateful for that opportunity. Take the negative, flip it, and turn it into a positive.

Think about how you have grown and how you have spent your time this year.

Did you reconnect with people you would have never connected with otherwise?
Did the quarantine force you to spend more time with your family, bond with your kids and also help you learn patience?
Do you appreciate your health more and respect your body more?
Are you still afraid to live in the moment?
Are you ready and able to take calculated risks?

Think about all that and tell me that is not living your best life. Yes, Covid19 was a struggle and still is, especially if you own a business, run a business and it also took some of our dear family and friends away, but when we focus on the negative we never get to appreciate what we have and the growth we experienced.

As you sit down to dinner on Thanksgiving day, take a moment and recollect all the amazing things you did experience this year and try to figure out ways to take the negative moments, flip them, and try and find any sliver lining.

In a society that has you counting dollars, pounds, and time, be a rebel for once, and count your blessings.

What Not To Write In Your Dating Profile

Behind the scenes, I love judgmental clichés, because they allow me to instantly filter out people who think in black and white. Life isn’t black and white. It’s grey. Here are some profiles that drive me crazy… starting with women:

  • Profiles that begin with “I’m divorced.”

    So… being divorced describes you in a nutshell? You want a man who has all his ducks in a row, but the first thing about yourself that you want the world to know is that you come from a failed marriage?

    My mom knows Larry Bird’s sister-in-law. (Apparently one of the most annoying people ever.) Larry Bird’s sister-in-law always introduces herself as “Hi, I’m Larry Bird’s sister-in-law,” and then her name.

    FYI Two recent presidents of the United States were raised by single mothers.

Another stupid thing to put in your dating profile:

“You must have a strong relationship with Jesus Christ.”

That’s cool. Nothing against that. I’m a Christian myself. But if you have such a profound relationship with Jesus, why do you have three children by three different fathers and have never been married once?

How about this one?

” Must be close to your family”

What if this is my family? I have together my shit got, but they have not. How close should I get?

Another favorite of mine is: “must have shit together”

There are stupid things I see daily on EVERY dating app out there. So here are my top 5:

Stupid Thing #1) “No drama” – Thank Heaven you put that out there; I never would’ve have known!! Swiping left..

Stupid Thing #2) “I’m BAaacckkk!” – Thank God you got recycled back into the pool (again): it just wasn’t the same here without you! Swiping left, faster…

Stupid Thing #3) “I love my kids” – Yay, here’s your Father of the Year Award and your Mr. Roger’s Dad Sweater… This is a waste of space: even John Wayne Gacy loved his fu*ing kids… next!

Stupid Thing #4) “Just looking!” – Newsflash, Dumbass: That’’s what EVERYONE on these sites are doing!

Stupid Thing #5) “[If you wanna know] Just ask”– So, you’re a lazy, conversationally empty vacuum that can’t put forth any effort. Okay, I’m not shaving my legs, but I’ll happily use you for a free dinner… Nope, not even for a good steak with blue cheese crumbles…

BONUS: Stupid Thing #6) The one that used to make me want to say…really? Where they mention long walks. I have never liked long walks anywhere… on the beach, shopping, malls or any place else. I don’t like woods or forests or deserted islands either. I don’t like desert walks, snow walks or river walks. Walks? Walks to where? And why are we walking?

These are the profiles that keep people binge-watching Netflix…



Just say it, you want a man with a big checking account. The only plainer English than that is:

Say His Name: Cannon Hinnant

I’ve been torn about how to react to news of the killing of the 5 year-old little North Carolina boy that’s making the rounds on social media and NOT the mainstream media. As he rode his bicycle, the perpetrator (his next door neighbor) walked up to him, placed a gun to his head and executed him in broad daylight. Because the child was white and the shooter is black, many are contrasting the news coverage (or lack thereof) and reaction to this killing to the reaction to the death of George Floyd.

Though he was no saint, George Floyd didn’t deserve to die in the fashion that he did. BUT… George Floyd was a 5-time convicted felon. He once held a pregnant woman at gunpoint while she was assaulted, threatening to shoot her in the stomach. He was well-known by the police.  We gave George Floyd four televised funerals, a folded American flag, over 70 days of rioting and millions upon millions of dollars donated to his family. Hollywood held massive protests for George Floyd, including the NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL players, paid tribute to this man.

What does this child get?

Where is Lebron James, Malcolm Jenkins, J.J. Watt, Dwayne Wade,  Odell Beckham Jr.  Demarcus Lawrence, Lamar Jackson, Carson Wentz , Derek Carr, and others? Did these athletes tweet or post that they’re “heartbroken”  at the news of Cannon Hinnant’s execution death?  Did Black Lives Matter even condemn the actions of Darrius Sessoms? Of course not!  Why do you think the mainstream media never covered it?  It’s not the agenda. We all know that if the colors were reversed, we would never hear the end of it. But because the color of skin is what they are, most people will never know that this heartless crime took place. The way the media is manipulating us is to purposely to divide us.

This child was sinless. He saw no color. He’d committed no crime. I can imagine him smiling at the approach of a neighbor, who he’d likely seen before, never suspecting that he was about to be harmed, much less have his brains splattered on his own lawn. There will be no protests, no riots, no cries for justice. Young black men won’t be targeted and killed in retaliation, as many police officers have been. Hollywood celebrities won’t provide him with a golden casket or fund multiple funerals in cities across America that will be televised and broadcast live across social media.  “Black privilege” won’t become a trendy phrase and this child’s name won’t trend on Twitter. Tens of millions of dollars won’t be raised to support the battle against systemic child brutality and abuse, and “CHILDREN’S LIVES MATTER” will never be painted on Broadway in New York and have justice for Cannon billboards put up all over the town thanks to Oprah.

Black Lives Matter doesn’t care about the gun violence happening in Chicago and New York. Black Lives Matter doesn’t help the black kids in the ghettos and doesn’t try to help those kids stay out of drugs and gangs.  It’s a group that only shows up when a white cop ( who really never should have been allowed to stay a cop) kills a black man.  And the fact that every Sports League; NFL, NBA, MLB and NHL paid “homage” to George Floyd and Black Lives Matter is a joke.  These leagues don’t have backbones, instead they want to appease their players.  These players don’t understand that the reason we should stand for the national anthem is to honor all those lives that we lost on 9/11.  Those innocent people were all of different colors, religions, backgrounds, yet we HONOR them simply because it happened on our soil.

Holding a sign,  wearing a T-shirt, chanting a song, taking a knee, or going on your soap box  ( Twitter and Instagram)  isn’t going to change a damn thing!  It’s the actions that will finally make a difference.  Getting your hands dirty to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

I believe that we are all created in God’s image. I believe that an evil, wicked hatred is spreading in our nation like a cancer.  My heart breaks over the division we are seeing.  People have become so jaded.  They look at everything that happens and have to “add” color to it.  They look at everything that happens and have to blame someone for it.  Instead of showing compassion and kindness towards everyone.  That is the one thing I remember from 9/11- the kindness that everyone showed each other afterwards.  We cared about one another. Not because of skin color, but because we all bleed red.

I pray daily for our nation and everyone in it.

His name was Cannon Hinnant. He wasn’t racist. He wasn’t violent. He wasn’t a criminal. He was an innocent five year old boy.

When you honor a black man who was a criminal just because he was killed by a cop- you aren’t changing the narrative, you are continuing the narrative.

 

 

An Open Letter To Men Everywhere

Do men get pinched, groped, ogled, catcalled, stared at, followed, intimidated and stalked regularly by other men?
Do they get rape threats from strangers online for having the gall to express a strong opinion?
How about unwanted comments on their profile pictures, unsolicited pictures of male genitalia, persistent romantic propositions even after rejection?
How about being talked over at work, admonished for standing one’s ground, assumed to be less skilled, being singled out among other colleagues for clerical tasks, told that their place is “in the kitchen” and “at home, raising kids?”
You are being asked to give women, the same bare-minimum, basic, fundamental respect that you afford men. You know, the sort that should be afforded to all human beings, simply for existing. We aren’t asking for amazing treatment, simply for being female. Far from it, actually. We’re asking for respect as people,  something we are deprived of simply for being women with a regularity, severity and degree that should absolutely alarm you.
Respecting women can’t be a rule, but surely it can be a responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Women are tired of having to be taught how to protect themselves from men, but rather why can’t the men be taught not to rape, harass, or abuse a woman? Dress does not dictate if a woman is valued or respected. Nor does it protect her from being violated. But I am, as are all women tired of hearing guys ask, “well, what was she wearing?” Or, “She was probably asking for it.”  No.  No woman is ever asking to be raped, harassed or abused.  No woman wants to be judged based on what she was wearing, how she was wearing it, and just how much attention she was craving. 
It’s about time society started appreciating the important role that women play. Women today contribute more than half to the world’s economy.  More than 11.6 million businesses are owned by women, employing nearly 9 million people, and generating $1.7 trillion in sales as of 2017. Women-owned businesses (51% or more) account for 39% of all privately held businesses and contribute 8% of employment and 4.2% of revenues.
We just aren’t about having babies, raising babies, and baking some cookies.  Women are smart, savvy, and go-getters.  Women want to be seen for WHO we are, NOT for what we look like.  Ever notice that a man especially, can only compliment a woman on her looks, not on her other personality traits?  “Oh, she is hot,” “She’s gorgeous,” or, “What a beauty!”  It’s never, ” You’re amazing at what you do,” “I always learn so much from you,” or,  “I like your style.”
If we want to prevent sexual assaults and sexual harassment, then parents have a responsibility to their sons to have a much more uncomfortable conversation. Overall, the media has told a man, in this society, treating women with disrespect is the cool or easy thing to do. The only way to change this, is to make sure that as boys, they know that this behavior is unacceptable, and that no matter who they come in contact with during their lifetime, they are to be treated with respect.  Remember, it costs NOTHING to be kind, to be respectable and to be responsible.