I Bet You Didn’t See This One Coming

I was planning on releasing a book in the late fall/early winter in 2 parts… but then I got thinking. I can’t really release it until after the trail with the junior hockey players sexual assault case is over… so that gives me PLENTY of time to write that part, but here…

I plan to flip the script and release an album instead.

Here are the tracks:

Selfish
Undone
The Boy Is Divine
Better Than Revenge
Goalies Aren’t the only ones who wear masks
Sister Fate
How to Paint Sunlight
Ryan’s Hope
Shenanigans
Showman Dan
Alice
Mr. Authenticity
Bitter Cold
Karma
Just Be A Man About It
Sheila
Suddenly, I hate you
When a Boy Becomes A Man
Bangers
Backyard
What You Need
23
Skin
You Must Love Me
Obviously Fascinated
Mess For You
Player
What Goes Around Comes Around

I am still deciding which track to release first, but that will come very soon!

Stay tuned…


Men, The Bear, Bumble And Harrison Butker

I wasn’t playing on writing a blog like this, but seeing how the landscape has been against women even more than it has been as of late, I had to put my thoughts into words.

For starters, if you are not on Tiktok then you missed a lot.

There was this dude who seriously looks like the guy who secretly films women getting dressed in the changing room at a department store, started us off, by telling us that men don’t have to accept women’s rejection : AKA he told men that is OKAY to RAPE them. I highly doubt that he is a “dating coach” which in itself is creepy. But what sane “coach” would tell men that women are forbidden to reject him? My thinking is that this guy never had a date back in high school and/or the head cheerleader rejected him and he is so scarred by that, he has hateful views now towards all women.

If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a guy who put out the question, if women were in a forest would they want to be in a forest alone with a MAN OR A BEAR? He was not asking which one women would choose, technically, but it took off on Tiktok and women every where were answering the bear. You can imagine how much this triggered guys EVERYWHERE!

The men, oh sorry, the boys that were triggered proved over and over WHY women preferred to be alone with a bear instead of a man. When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them. And if we look at the culture that is being thrown at women today, I think it is safe to say, this is why women would choose a bear.

Here are some reasons why women choose the bear in case men are still confused:
A- No one would question us about what I was wearing, why I was wearing what I was wearing, and If what I was wearing was to lead on any man to believe I wanted sex.
B- A Bear would not film it and send it to his friends and post it online.
C- No one will question if the bear attacked really happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the saying, “Innocent until proven guilty.”

By the way, there’s a reason women are warned not to hike or camp alone, and it’s not because of bears.

1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. RAINN ( Rape Abuse, Incest Network) says on average, there are nearly 450,000 victims of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States. According to North America Bear Center- black bears – the most common bear in the United States – kill less than one person per year. On average, 28 people in the United States die each year from lightning strikes, according to all U.S. lightning deaths reported from 2006 through 2021

So, when women are saying that they FEEL SAFER in the FOREST/WOODS alone with a bear than with a strange man, and men, instead of trying to make things BETTER for women, are triggered by it and instead of trying to say, “Men should not rape, men should not act like pigs when it comes to women,” They are trying to gaslight, manipulate and force women to feel crazy and stupid for saying a bear. Then you hear guys ask the question why women who are abused and assaulted never come forward or come forward years later:

As many as 90% of those survivors never report their abuse to law enforcement, and more than 30% will never report their abuse to anyone (National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children).

What Happens To Rapists When They Are Caught And Reported?

  • 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years.  Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison.  Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail.
  • If a rape is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
  • If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
  • If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of conviction.
  • If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
  • So even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.

Not only are we talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia.

An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”

THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.

So, when a FEMALE, wants to have NHL PLAYERS on a podcast – you are rejected AUTOMATICALLY.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to develop friendships with hockey players, THEY NEED TO BE CERTAIN WOMEN –
Beyond sexist barriers within the sport, there are misogynist ideas engrained that position women as objects and conquests within hockey culture- That is why you ONLY SEE WOMEN WHO 1- ACCEPT BARE MINIMUM, 2- WILL NOT OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT HOW OTHER WOMEN ARE TREATED, AND 3- WHO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!
Misogyny was undeniably evidenced in the alleged gang-sexual assault committed by members of Canada’s 2018 World Junior team, in the subsequent cover-up, and in the revelation that Hockey Canada had a fund that was used consistently and covertly to protect players.
The deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny within hockey culture contribute to these brutal acts of dehumanization. Yet, these connections remain unrecognizable because people are unable to confront the culture that permeates their existence. In addition, as this does not directly impact players, such as the consequences of playing through pain, the calls to confront sexism/misogyny are largely not coming from male players. Unfortunately, there is more impact when people within hockey resist the harmful impacts of the culture as people are more inclined to listen to and empathize with the protagonists in our national narrative and because status is used to legitimize particular perspectives. If current player’s voices are needed, and yet they cannot recognize the objectification of girls and women, how will sexism and misogyny ever be recognized and meaningfully challenged if it remains unrecognizable to those within the culture? Yet, as recent current events have revealed, this resistance is the problem at hand!
AND JUST THIS WEEK, A Native American woman who worked for the Chicago Blackhawks is suing the organization and its charity, the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, accusing them of breach of oral contract, fraud and sexual harassment.

Then of course we have the dating app Bumble who decided to tell women to KEEP HOOKING UP with guys on their app because they are losing money and that in turn is all they care about! Seriously, I keep telling you all how TERRIBLE dating apps are and they filled with men who ONLY want to hook up, rape women, cheat on partners.. . etc.
Bumble fumbled, are now working quickly fix the damage caused by an ad campaign that pokes fun at celibacy and abstinence. They changed HOW the app worked, which pissed off A TON of women, and then did this ad. They did apologize, but.. THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR!

Now here’s the KICKER, literally, the kicker in all of this …

The Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butkler, said at very conservative Catholic College told women that they shouldn’t be out here, climbing up the corporate ladder that they should be home, taking care of their husband and children.
If women decide to do that, that’s their choice it’s not for a man to decide a woman’s fate.
Which is kind of funny since his mom, Elizabeth Keller Butker is an accomplished academic who holds a degree in Chemistry from Smith College as well as a Master’s degree in Medical Physics.

How did his mom somehow raised him to be a MISOGYNISTIC & SEXIST man?

BTW Harrison, if you are reading this: you’re a kicker you don’t do hard things and you STILL miss. 

I have NOTHING against women who CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, if that’s what you want be and that’s what you desire then go for it but for a man who kicks balls for a living to tell other women that their dreams don’t matter and that they should just be in the kitchen is what’s wrong; it’s 2024 not 1964.

Women can do a lot of different things and wear different hats and that triggers some men who can’t do hard things.

Now, as a Catholic woman, I don’t agree AT ALL with what Harrison has said AND here are the Catholic teachings that I have been taught:

1- We all were created to serve God. We all have a special purpose, that purpose is not the same for everyone.
2- Each of us were shaped differently. We all were given different Spiritual gifts, Personalities, and Abilities. What you are ABLE to do, God wants you to do. No one else can play your role.
3- Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Your purpose is to show love to others.

God doesn’t want everyone to do the same work.
God doesn’t hate any of us based on race, sexuality, or weakness.
God made us and our life started at conception.

Those in the church that preach otherwise are preaching their own agenda. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Maybe Harrison forgot this. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. I think as a society we have truly have forgotten about love and how to truly love each other.
Love only embraces, and never attacks. It is of the Spirit, and thus incapable of attack.
What a beautiful thought.

I told you, too bad you didn’t listen

If you read my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid the 2nd Ed,” I warned you that dating apps were all hoaxes designed to use your heart strings to make money. And this week we learn that Match Group, the owner of Tinder, Hinge, and the League, aren’t designed to help users find love, but rather, to empty their pockets and that they are a far cry from being, “designed to be deleted,” which is Hinge’s slogan.
In the lawsuit we find that the six plaintiffs accuse the dating apps, Hinge, that the algorithm predicts a user will find most attractive are locked up in “rose jail’–where daters are required to send these profiles a rose, rather than a regular like, of which they only get one per week–and TikTokers offering dissatisfied swipers “hacks” to get around such an obstacle.

Also on other dating apps, such as Tinder, essentially, the app used an Elo rating system, which is the same method used to calculate the skill levels of chess players: You rose in the ranks based on how many people swiped right on (“liked”) you, but that was weighted based on who the swiper was. The more right swipes that person had, the more their right swipe on you meant for your score.

The League, is as snobby as it sounds…
The app encourages you to choose high-quality photos of you smiling and doing things that interest you, like hiking or going to dinner with friends, rather than posting tons of party photos or selfies in bad lighting. They want you to show off and send the message that you’re cool and attractive. You have to link the app to your LinkedIn and other social media. By doing so, The League automatically inputs your education and career to your profile, so everyone can see how smart and accomplished you are. The app tracks how often you log in, if you respond to people’s messages, how picky you are, if you’re nice to your concierge and other activity. Your matches can also flag your profile and report you if you’re “flaky” or rude through messages or on a date.

THE KICKER: You only get three matches per day (though you can pay to see more prospects). Once you match, you have 21 days to chat before the match and your chat expires. While an expired chat history is still viewable, you won’t be able to engage with that person anymore. The membership is EXTREMELY expensive for a few more “exclusives” that are nothing of measure to even note.

Hinge, makes money through in-app purchases and advertisements. Most of Hinge’s revenue comes from in-app purchases such as boosts, roses, and premium subscriptions. These purchases unlock features on the app to make it easier and more convenient. Another way that Hinge makes money is through advertisements. Whereas the free version lets you “like” up to 8 profiles per day, and if someone’s like you back, it’s a “match.” From there, you send each other unlimited messages and even do video calls.

Remember, there are many studies that suggest that couples who meet using dating apps are slightly more likely to have less satisfying and less stable marriages than couples who meet offline.

As I have said from the beginning, dating apps are great for finding short-term romances, but they’re not conducive to building sustainable relationships. Dating apps don’t work because they are designed to be fast, easy and casual. They’re not good for getting to know someone well and building a strong foundation for a future relationship. Too bad, most don’t listen to me.

The NHL and it’s Misogynist Behavior

It’s no secret that A) I am a hockey fan and B) have had my share of controversy with my podcast – which I will mention later, but in its creepy, disgusting way, is all tied together. 
For those who aren’t hockey fans, there was a story that broke last week in regards to a sexual assault on a female back in 2018 at the World Junior Championship with Team Canada.

Here’s the background on this case:
In March of 2023, TSN’s Rick Westhead reported that The Heritage Committee had unanimously voted for a motion directing Hockey Canada to hand over law firm Henein Hutchison’s final report detailing its investigation into the alleged sexual assault. 

Police investigators in London, Ont., said in December of 2022 that they had “reasonable grounds” to believe that five members of the 2018 Canada World Juniors hockey team sexually assaulted a woman in a hotel room after a Hockey Canada fundraising gala, according to a court filing to the Ontario Court of Justice. 

The sexual assault allegations initially were investigated by London Police in 2018, however, the case was closed in February 2019 without any charges. The investigation was reopened in 2022.

In April of 2022, a woman filed a lawsuit against Hockey Canada, the Canadian Hockey League, and eight unnamed CHL players, stating she was sexually assaulted in a London, Ont. hotel room in June of 2018 following a Hockey Canada event.

The woman elected not to name any of the players involved, and stated in her original claim that it was eight “players for, and members of the CHL and Hockey Canada, including but not limited to members of the Canada U20 Men’s Junior Hockey Team.”

According to the lawsuit, the woman met the players at a bar, who were in London, Ont. for the Hockey Canada Foundation Gala & Golf event on June 18, 2018. She met one of the players, who is referred to as John Doe 1, who bought her alcoholic beverages. The woman said she was separated from her friend group as she became more intoxicated and eventually left the bar and went to a hotel with John Doe 1. 

At the hotel, the two ” engaged in sexual acts” in John Doe 1’s hotel room. The woman said that after this, “John Doe 1 invited the remainder of the John Doe defendants into the room without the knowledge or consent of the Plaintiff.”

The woman said in the claim that over the next several hours, John Does 1-8 engaged in several sexual acts “which collectively constituted sexual abuse and assault of the Plaintiff.” During these assaults, “the Plaintiff experienced an ongoing apprehension of imminent physical harm of a sexual nature. The actions of the John Doe Defendants caused terror and fear in the Plaintiff’s mind.” 

In the claim, the woman states that she could not give consent to any of the actions because of how intoxicated she was. In addition, the group of eight would not let her leave the room, despite multiple attempts by the victim.

The woman claimed that Hockey Canada knew about the allegations and did nothing about them.

Hockey Canada stated on Dec. 20 that their investigation had concluded and an adjunction panel would determine if any sanctions need to be imposed. They would keep the results confidential as the London Police continues with its investigation. 

In addition, Hockey Canada said last year that no player from the 2018 World Juniors team is eligible to play for Canada’s national team in any IIHF event for the foreseeable future.  ”Senior officials at Hockey Canada… claimed they didn’t know who was involved. It was a statement as ridiculous as it was disheartening and sickening.” 

After the initial closing of the investigation, Hockey Canada began to receive backlash from Canada’s political figures and sponsors, in addition to fans of the sport. Especially since they quietly paid off the woman involved.

The NHL said it would conduct its own independent investigation into what happened because some active players were on that team and attended the gala. Commissioner Gary Bettman pledged to release the findings once completed, but as we saw with the hush hush and lack of transparency with what went down with the Blackhawks, we know fully well that this too will be “swept under the rug”
It’s disappointing the NHL doesn’t have the guts to own it, instead putting out a potential new franchise in Utah, to deflect from this breaking story, it’s pathetic really. And what I think far worse is the timing of how the NHL released it “mental health awareness” campaign to allow guys to have a leave of absence from their team and that too, was used to protect the five guys that are being charged with rape. The five guys are: NHL players Michael McLeod and Cal Foote of the New Jersey Devils, Carter Hart of the Philadelphia Flyers and Dillon Dubé of the Calgary Flames. Former NHL player Alex Formenton, who now plays with Swiss club HC Ambrì-Piotta, is the fifth player. Which brings me to the male fans disgusting reaction to this on social media.

This is why women don’t want to speak up. Being raped is the one of the WORST things a woman can feel and go through and these men on social media are more concerned about their hockey teams, defending the guys, and to me, the teams who knew about this and covered it up helped move the players around is despicable.
As a woman I can vouch that we are taught how to defend ourselves against being raped, when how about we actually teach men NOT TO RAPE!?

Of course women who are hockey fans have to endure being called, “puckbunnies” because yeah, heaven forbid a girl likes the sport for the sport. What these aholes on social media don’t realize is that throwing around a term like “puck bunny” is the same as calling them a slut…it’s not any classier and it certainly doesn’t make you look like any more of a real fan- it actually makes you look like loser! 
Most guys feel threaten, by a female who know her shit and is not afraid to tell it. As if women don’t face enough struggle earning respect period in the world today, in the sport of hockey it is 100% worse! Men should be less worried about women making them look bad all awhile they are looking like a catty high schooler for being concerned with their ‘extracurricular activities’. ( I say that with a lot of sarcasm!)

Sexism is no stranger in hockey as it has been in football and even baseball.
The hockey PR departments ACROSS the league HATE women. Yes, I said it and I stick with it. 62% of men are employed by NHL teams while a whopping 37% are women. Not surprised. And if you look at their roles, that’s even worse. 
Women work the sidelines/benches. Do you see women on TNT at the desk? Do you see women on ESPN at the desk? Do you see women as the an analyst? 

Do you see any woman in a high ranking position?  

How many females do you think do an NHL podcast and are promoted by the NHL? 

If you scope out X , you will find thousands of podcasts done by males, and their guests are usually who…. Other males.

On my podcast, I had male guests. For example, one of them a crazy fan, and another was another podcast trying to get big names on his. He told me that he was going to have me on his podcast as that was the deal- I’d be on his he be on mine…. Do you think I was ever on his? 

Because men don’t want to hear women talk hockey .

If you look at some of the women that are hired …. The blonde chicks mind you. That’s the reason they are hired for their looks not for their intelligence. Women are hired so it doesn’t look like they are being discriminated against when, in fact, women are constantly discriminated against in the world of the national hockey league.. they even have this fake special day called women empowerment day…. Like they give two shits about women. 

Going back to my podcast, And the guy that I knew in the PR department for the New York Rangers…. He knew Exactly that I was asking to have Jacob Trouba on my podcast, constantly ignored me, never responded, and then when the controversy hit X, instead of reaching out to me, like a man would do to see if he could fix anything or apologize, he unfollowed me on Instagram, unfollowed me on Facebook to pretend, as if he never knew who I was…. Oh I have screenshots.. 

Trouba on the other hand, knew I was asking for him to be on my podcast, and instead of being a man and reaching out to me, decided to go on a podcast with men at the helm. Trouba showed you that he is sexist against women just as the PR department is…. Just as the New York Rangers organization is….. oh, and by the way, there is a sexual assault lawsuit against the owner, James Dolan. 

I’ve always thought of James Dolan, as a very savvy businessman….. but you can kind of tie everything that’s happened with women in the Knicks and the Rangers organizations together…. don’t forget he’s also had Isaiah Thomas who was accused of sexual harassment, and then put him in charge of the WNBA’s team that used to play at MSG. He showed a lot of disregard for women.
It would be a smart move for James Dolan if he actually showed some concern for women, and what women have to go through to be in sports industry. It would also make him look better with the news coming out of his sexual assault lawsuit.

But you won’t see any other guy on the New York Rangers stand up against Trouba or stand up against what the New York Rangers PR department has done or for that matter stand up for women. No, they’ll just wear those stupid purple jerseys in March for women’s empowerment, and then auction them off for “charity” 

That’s the sad part.
And fans are no better.





Are you basic or extra?

You have women out here in the world who pretend to to not have high standards just so they can land a dude who give them the bare minimum. First off, having high standards is NOT the same as being high maintenance… something most guys are WRONG about and clearly don’t understand.
See, guys should want to level up with a woman who levels up, but they don’t. They allow their egos to get the best of them and instead “settle” for a girl who only wants the bare minimum and who is basic.

Let’s look at professional athletes for a moment… Think about this: There is not one pro-athlete that comes to mind who is with a woman of substance. (A woman who is extra and who brings more attention) Even Tom Brady could not hack being with Giselle anymore, whom is extremely extra! That is why it is interesting to see Kelce with Taylor Swift. ( Which looks like a relationship for publicly) If you think back to Taylor’s relationship with Harry Styles, you will see exactly what I am saying. The guy is the one who needs to be the one with the attention, the bag and the benefits; not the woman in the relationship.

People ask me all the time why men don’t want to level up and care so much about being in the forefront of the relationship; the woman takes a backseat to the man, especially a man who is an athlete. The reason is simple. A guy chooses a basic girl because a girl who is extra won’t force him to be a better man and won’t put up with his bullshit.

That is why on dating apps, women are fed up with men’s shit. They aren’t thirsty as guys think they are anymore. Us women are tired of the men who want to hook up, men who want to use us as eye candy, men who want a mother instead of a girlfriend or a wife. Women are tired of telling men to ”man up” too. It’s at the point that women in their 30s and 40s are choosing to be single. They have had it. And this pisses off men who think that they can “trick” women into chasing them. Ha! Women don’t chase, they replace. Girls chase and that is why men are with basic girls.

High achieving women who are independent and go-getters are usually left alone by men who have this stupid ideal woman still stuck in their heads. Um, guys, your ideal woman DOES NOT exist. And if you are still basing everything on looks, you’re going to be disappointed as she ages. Some guys don’t want to build with a woman either, they just expect her to take care of the household and be that little perfect submissive wife too. Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble, but those days are LONG GONE as it is not 1950 anymore.

So here we are at the crossroads of dating and relationships. What is going to happen when these men finally wake up and see how they are shaping the dating culture for their daughters? And what is going to happen when these basic women get tired of being called out?

Time will tell, won’t it?

Games People Play


Some men simply like to be dominating in a relationship; even when a man likes to keep you hanging without giving any clear indication of how he feels about you, he wants to dominate the game. It has been said that boys play games, but I can honestly tell you that men do it too. Boys are amateurs though when it comes to really playing “the game,” while men know how to dangle a carrot to have us run after them. (Or, so they think!) By manipulating you, he can ensure that his needs are met first. This behavior is often driven by insecurity or jealousy. But here is the part that men don’t get:

Girls are players too. Now, I have seen the quotes online before that girls chase, women replace, and that part if 100% truth, but that does NOT mean that women don’t play games. We know how to get our guys right where we want them. Seriously, it’s not that hard. To turn the tables, it’s time to learn how to play a guy at his own game. Here are three key components to giving him a taste of his own medicine, and why not even a little more? He deserves it for playing with your heart.

1- He’s used to you liking all his photos, commenting on them, texting him multiple times a day. In other words, he’s used to you chasing him. Time to flip the script girl, and do him ACTUALLY as he does you. So if he ONLY views your IG story, you view his. If he totally keeps you on read, you keep him on read ( if he is talking to you) Whatever HE does to you- you do it back BUT with a little more flair and fanfare.
Make him work harder for your time; you’re not an easy catch- remember YOU ARE the catch!

2) While you’re busy trying to win him over, make sure you spend time enjoying yourself. Go out with friends, meet other people, and if he’s there, remember to have a good time and not give him all your undivided attention. Let him earn that. Let him be the first one to approach you. Don’t get sucked into the game when you see him even talking to other girls. Such men enjoy teasing women and rocking their emotions, and often do so without any guilt.

3) When he sees himself falling for you, he’s going to pull out all the stops in hopes of holding onto the control. This isn’t going to work overnight either. But if you really want this guy, it will do exactly what you want it to do. No messaging him out of the blue or just because on IG, no texting him either. If he messages you or texts you first, then yes, respond to him, but not right away. Let him know that you are busy, that you have a life. Let the guy know that you have other options. Guys hate it when they see that you know your options are wide open.

The key here to to think like a guy and totally disregard his feelings. Be savage.
At first it feels like shit, but then as you keep doing it, it is very empowering.

There are about four other things you can do to play a guy like he plays you, but I keep those close to the chest. If you gals would like to know what those are… feel free to contact me on IG Twitter X or Facebook and DM me. And I will share those tips with you.

Break My Bed, Not My Heart

Here’s the problem… It’s two-fold.
The problem with having a genuine heart, is that people think you’re stupid. They may think they played you. But the whole time they played themselves out of meeting and being with a good person.
Athletes do this to themselves EVERY time. And us fans are STUPID for only expecting bare minimum from them just like women do for men that they date.
What is the bare minimum that fans except and think that the particular athlete is so ‘great’ to them?
All athletes NO MATTER the sport SHOULD freely sign autographs. Now, there are boundaries that fans should respect like if they are out with family and eating at a restaurant you don’t go up to the table while they are enjoying a meal begging for an autograph. But clearly when they are finished it is okay to ask. When they do events, before games, after games. BUT respectfully! If you placed yourself in this limelight by wanting to be a professional athlete, then THIS IS WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR whether you like it or not! Period.
I laugh at seeing social media posts from athletes who literally COMPLAIN about this- um, hello you make millions of dollars and you can’t take 5 seconds to sign an autograph for a fan? Remind me again why you chose this occupation. ( insert roll eyes emoji here)
But then here’s the other side of the coin- ALL athletes get a swelled head and their ego is enlarged when they start to see folks ask them for autographs, the media talks about them, they see social media posts about them and then we start to idolize these dudes. This then makes them start to think that they are BETTER than the regular Joe and on the SAME playing field as a celebrity.
But here is why us fans SHOULD NOT idolize these guys. You have to remember rule one of marketing/branding: Rule one your image as an athlete is EVERYTHING. They are in fact their own brand, and what they do in front of the camera is what in fact makes fans idolize them.
How many times have you been on TwitterX or Instagram and seen your favorite player doing something for charity, or at a hospital, or at an event that is designed for them to look like they give a shit? The kicker is, I am SICK of hearing that this guys “really do in fact care” about us, the regular Joe. I am TIRED of hearing that they are “really great dudes” when their actions when the cameras are not involved are totally different.
Recently some hockey players did this charity thing called Shoulder Check in memory of Hayden Thorsen who loved hockey and excelled as a goalie in Darien, Connecticut. The 16-year-old died unexpectedly in May of 2022 and his family is using his passion for hockey to help Hayden’s legacy live on. The idea is wonderful. The mantra is reach out, check in and make contact. What a beautiful way to remember a kid who was that person who made sure others were okay. But to think that pro-hockey players from the NHL actually will “Reach out, check in and make contact” with fans who on social media maybe post things that are about mental health, or a fan that reaches out to a player to tell them how they love them, is UNREALISTIC to say the least!

The truth of the matter really is, that behind a screen you don’t know what ANYONE in life is dealing with and sure you can “study” their posts, and you can Google their name, but that is not going to give you who the REAL person REALLY is! People don’t live in their pasts anymore, they grow, adapt, change… and we ALL including the NHL players have skeletons in our closets that don’t define who we are today!

A friend of mine posted that Mika Zibanejad spent time signing autographs at the Shoulder Check and yes, he’s VERY good at doing this, and again, this is the bare minimum that fans have come to expect and not hold athletes to a higher standard. But his quote from the event was very telling, “You can see if you’re hurt physically sometimes but mentally, it’s very hard to see that and to see the signs.” Not true. Not true at all. I think most people ignore the mental signs because they just don’t want to deal with that.
So here are the signs that are as CLEAR CUT as daylight that people are experiencing a mental breakdown:

Symptoms of withdrawal

  • Not showing up for work for one or more days or calling in sick.
  • Missing scheduled appointments or social events.
  • Slipping into poor lifestyle habits like unhealthy eating, not getting enough sleep or can’t sleep, poor hygiene and not exercising.
  • Losing interest in activities or hobbies or things that brought you joy.
  • Not wanting to leave your home or be with others.

Symptoms of depression

  • Feeling very sad, hopeless, helpless or worried.
  • Being irritated, frustrated or having outbursts.
  • Having trouble concentrating.
  • Having thoughts of self harm or suicide.

Symptoms of anxiety

  • Feeling pain, fear and uneasiness.
  • Having nightmares.
  • Unable to remain still and calm.
  • Nausea
  • Heart palpitations
  • Cold or sweaty hands.
  • Dizziness.
  • Upset stomach.
  • Trembling or shaking.
  • Trouble breathing.
  • Panic Attacks.

See, we all see these signs but we pass them over as just “normal” when they are not normal. And do you really think a pro-athlete is going to 1) care and 2) check on fans? That to me ins unreasonable to even think! Most of the time they don’t even check on their teammates nor they deny that they are going through a rough patch because they don’t want to be seen as weak. Again, we have the male stereotypical concept, that a man is weak asking for help and men can’t show emotions.

Recently, if you read this blog or follow me on social media, you know that I have been asking Jacob Trouba, Vincent Trocheck and Ryan Lindgren to do a fun segment with me called “Coffee With The Captain (and teammates)- which is basically 30 minutes of talking about why they take their coffee the way they do, hockey questions I have and just plainly have a fun – fun questions like do you prefer Pretzels or Potato Chips- getting to know each other so I can see them OUTSIDE the RINK and WHO They TRULY are as PEOPLE. Well, I have been asking for 2months and they look at the videos and they ignore me. They treat me like I am trash. I’m not someone they “need” or who is “important” so they don’t even respond at all.

NOTHING exposes CHARACTER MORE than the way you TREAT people you don’t THINK you need.

My point is, STOP putting these guys on a pedestal when they don’t give a rats ass about you.

Remember, all they do in front of the cameras is JUST for SHOW – it’s not who they GENUINELY are.

And if this is not who they genuinely are, and they truly are the “good guys” then they respond to me and do the segment. Cause they care about people and they remember where they came from… Don’t worry, I ain’t holding my breath but I will find a NHL player who actually cares and who will do this with me.

The saying is true, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”One should not judge the worth or value of something by its outward appearance alone. For example, “That man may look very small and insignificant, but don’t judge a book by its cover – he’s a very powerful man in his circle.

Remember, karma, she’s a bitch. How you treat people will ALWAYS come back around to you.
And if this who Jacob, Vinny and Ryan genuinely are… then their true character has been exposed and it’s all a show as to who they pretend to be… But if this isn’t who they genuinely are, then they will do the fun segment with me. But make no mistake.. I will find a NHL player who will do the segment with me.
I have worked too hard to keep playing small.
I never will discount myself and my worth.
I deserve to be respected whether I am a celebrity or not.
I know what I bring to the table and I just raised the bar.

Date apps are for dorks. Women are those dorks.

First let me start with the study: Research shows dating apps like Hinge, Bumble or Tinder can be associated with negative impacts on mental health. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, there is a link between using dating apps and experiencing loneliness, dissatisfaction with life and feeling excluded from the world. The research points out that it is a paradox, as people have more ways to connect than ever before yet many of those connections can feel empty, fleeting, and insecure.

Also, I will note that if you read either my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2d Ed” or you read “Relationship Impossible” you read the information I gave you that, when it comes to dating apps, there is such a thing as choice overload, whereas, people tend to pick the wrong partner due to the fact that there are way too many options to choose from.

Now to the funny part of this: When I told a bunch of women the following in this dating group I am in, most of these women were so sensitive to the following truth:

NO high quality man is going to be on a dating site. 

I know it’s the “easiest” way to meet guys although social media isn’t that bad of an option… BUT the high quality man that you ladies are looking for aren’t on dating sites! The whole concept of a dating app is for women to chase after men, whereas high value men don’t want to be chased they want to be the ones who pursue.  Now that doesn’t mean that women can’t flirt with men because sometimes they need a little push and telling them that you are interested in them is a good thing, but a high valued man is not on a dating app. If you notice, the only men you find on a dating app are all the men who are those who are cheating, are married, lie, and some are even rapists.

Why women think it will be different because they are on Bumble or Hinge, or are paying for the app is an insane idea! EVERY dating app works the same way! The algorithm is just as it is in finding movies you will enjoy on Netflix and all those guys whom you reject, are recycled back into your choices every 30 days or so.

I seriously roll my eyes every time a woman in these chats I am in post a photo of the guy whom she is talking to on an app to find out the “fax” about him and the answers are pretty much like this:

“So I have been seeing and talking to a guy nonstop for the past month or so. We were supposed to hangout Saturday but I cancelled on him last minute because I found out a mutual friend had also been talking to him and he tried to schedule a date the same day as ours but earlier in the day it kinda made me feel a bit grossed out and I’m not sure what to do.”

“Omg! We talked for a while and he kept flaking on plans and kept saying he was traveling, sick, busy, etc. but wanted to keep texting. Eventually I stopped responding.”

“On his Bumble profile, he selected ‘Wants someday’ for kids. I hope this was a mistake bc he has grandchildren and he is actually 67, not 47 like it shows on his profile. He also lied about his age on a site called MillionaireMatch and says he is 51 on there. His desired age range on that site is 22-39. He goes by the name …., but his real name is …..”

“4 kids 4baby moms denies the existence of his kids Alcoholic/abusive looks for woman to support him.”

This is ALL you see in these groups. And women WONDER why they haven’t met a high quality man yet on a fucking dating site? HAHAHA… seriously these women are stupid and naive to believe that the love of their life is on a dating app. AND a high quality man for that matter!
You have a better chance at being struck by lightning than you do finding a high quality man on a dating app. And then there are the women who comment in the group chat like this:

“I met my guy of 7/8 months on …. ”

Yes, good for you. Ask him, did he take down his dating profile on all the sites yet? Watch him squirm while answering. Remember, there are MARRIED men on these apps not to mention athletes who are married or in relationships who look for their hook up on the road.

Here are places to go meet HIGH QUALITY MEN this summer:

1- Nightclubs
2-Lounges
3-Sporting Events
4- Juice bars
5-Nice Coffee Shops ( Not Starbucks)
6- Exclusive Gyms
7- Social Clubs
8- Airport
9- High-end Spas
10-Tennis clubs and Golf Courses
11-Charity Events
12-Art Galleries
13-Open Houses ( obviously it’s a million dollar listing)
14-Nice Hotel Bars

The list can probably even be longer… but the point is… NO high Valued Man is going to be on Match, Ok Cupid, Hinge, Tinder, or even Bumble. I will even say on Million Dollar Match as well. Those guys are the scum of the Earth looking for hook ups, looking to scam you, looking to use you or looking to unfortunately to sexually assault you. And if I insulted anyone by saying this, sorry but not sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, doesn’t it?
Just because you deny it’s the truth doesn’t make it less true!

Contrary to popular belief, I know exactly what I’m doing

If you follow this blog religiously ( and seriously, who doesn’t シ) You know that my company does a variety of things, mostly content creation and social media, but we also go back to the main start of my blog about 15 years ago, and talk about dating/relationships and I have written best selling books on the subject.

This year we started to wet our feet once again in the fashion world and also expanding our knowledge in the cheer industry as well as my creating different segments of my podcast.

We dipped our feet into some other areas too, that for the moment didn’t pan out, but that we may get back to at a later time as well.

I sat thinking the past 2 weeks, especially during my birthday week when I was taking some time off for myself and wanted to figure out what it is that I really want my brand to represent. You want to always innovate but you don’t want to do too many things that cause you to lose your identity.

So here’s what you can expect from me from here on out:

1) Fashion on Poshmark ( yes, including panties シ) LINK CLICK HERE

I will be doing more fashion stuff- even men’s fashion using this link. I will tie together my fashion videos with the site as well. And yes, sell some great fashion at reasonable prices including MY OWN DESIGNS!


2) Podcast

Of course my award winning podcast will keep going! I have changed it up significantly since I started back in 2017. But I will now add EXCLUSIVE CONTENT that you will have to pay for. The price will be $2.99 a month and I will have exclusive contests that I then will use Twitter to find the winner. I also will use the exclusive content as a way to continue conversations from the podcast itself, have guests, and maybe even thrown in a little more racy stuff… ★♫

Follow the podcast here —> CLICK
Follow my twitter feed —> CLICK

3) Books

I have written some great books which I take so much pride in simply because writing a book is much more than “just writing” it. It’s the cover art, editing, getting an audience excited about it way before it’s published, etc.
Yes, I have written 2 dating/relationship books which simply show you how I have grown in my opinions as well as give you updated information where dating apps are. BUT .. did you know that I have written some Young Adult novels as well?

“The Diary of A Drama Queen” is a book I am mostly proud of as it took me over 7 years to finish. And now I am back in wanting to provide some more great books that show my creativity so I am starting to write the sequel called, “Drama in the City” which I hope will be released next year. BUT I plan to share with you updates on the progress, how I write, how I go about creating the book, etc through my Youtube Channel ( besides posting some fun other content too!)

To Follow the Youtube Channel —> CLICK

4) Cheerleading/Fitness

If you don’t know, I have been in the cheer industry for a long time! I started back in the day when I was 7, with dance, and then when I got older did cheerleading, fell in love with it, and haven’t looked back!
So, not only do I choreograph cheer routines, and will be posting A LOT more of them and new cheers that teams can use, but I will be focusing on FITNESS. Cheerleaders need to be physically and mentally fit. So I will be introducing a fitness calendar, 4 monthly new workouts for a reasonable price that not just for cheerleaders but for ANYONE who wants to stay in shape or get in shape. I also will have free workouts too.

LINK — > CLICK HERE To follow

Now the above link will also host the following as well… ( I will tie both together as a place to be elite on the mat but also elite with social media.)

5) Content Creation/Courses/Templates

I will post some really awesome photos that you can buy directly from me at a reasonable price and use Anywhere you want too. I will have Templates that you can use as posts for your personal and professional needs and I will be offering 3 courses: a) LinkedIn b) Youtube and c) How to take better selfies and photos – all come with LIVE teaching as well not just recorded video, unless you need a recorded version!

So, stay tuned… A lot of exciting things are happening and I look forward to sharing them with y’all!

Better Together

If you listen to my podcast, you have heard me talk about how cheerleaders belong with athletes, and not just any athletes, but hockey players. And let me add, not necessarily a NHL player, but ANY player ( EHL, AHL, OHL, KHL, etc)
This guy on Tiktok helped me out tremendously by putting these together. A shout out to nackarockers for taking the words right out of my mouth. Just in case there was any doubt!

I will have A LOT of to say on Friday on the podcast. A LOT to say. As I think about this…

I smirk. I smile. I laugh literally out loud. The entire thing is crazy to me.

Question: why do people prefer people to be fake, secretive, and almost cunning, instead of being open and not afraid to be vulnerable? Why is it when you don’t have any outside motives that people still think you do? And so forth.

To Be Continued…. Oh, plus more on the Metro Division, playoffs, Cap/Escrow, CBA, the NY Rangers of course, and some other stuff… ( Fashion takes and question to guys on facial hair, spitting, and smelling salts, and crazy things I need to know!)

As always you get the sassy, sarcastic, up front version with no filter Friday. Yipee.

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