Men, The Bear, Bumble And Harrison Butker

I wasn’t playing on writing a blog like this, but seeing how the landscape has been against women even more than it has been as of late, I had to put my thoughts into words.

For starters, if you are not on Tiktok then you missed a lot.

There was this dude who seriously looks like the guy who secretly films women getting dressed in the changing room at a department store, started us off, by telling us that men don’t have to accept women’s rejection : AKA he told men that is OKAY to RAPE them. I highly doubt that he is a “dating coach” which in itself is creepy. But what sane “coach” would tell men that women are forbidden to reject him? My thinking is that this guy never had a date back in high school and/or the head cheerleader rejected him and he is so scarred by that, he has hateful views now towards all women.

If that wasn’t bad enough, there was a guy who put out the question, if women were in a forest would they want to be in a forest alone with a MAN OR A BEAR? He was not asking which one women would choose, technically, but it took off on Tiktok and women every where were answering the bear. You can imagine how much this triggered guys EVERYWHERE!

The men, oh sorry, the boys that were triggered proved over and over WHY women preferred to be alone with a bear instead of a man. When asked to explain their decision, many women responded that they know a bear would either leave them alone or kill them, whereas they fear the details of exactly what a man could do to them. And if we look at the culture that is being thrown at women today, I think it is safe to say, this is why women would choose a bear.

Here are some reasons why women choose the bear in case men are still confused:
A- No one would question us about what I was wearing, why I was wearing what I was wearing, and If what I was wearing was to lead on any man to believe I wanted sex.
B- A Bear would not film it and send it to his friends and post it online.
C- No one will question if the bear attacked really happened. And to add, they won’t go on social media defending the man in question with the saying, “Innocent until proven guilty.”

By the way, there’s a reason women are warned not to hike or camp alone, and it’s not because of bears.

1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. RAINN ( Rape Abuse, Incest Network) says on average, there are nearly 450,000 victims of rape and sexual assault every year in the United States. According to North America Bear Center- black bears – the most common bear in the United States – kill less than one person per year. On average, 28 people in the United States die each year from lightning strikes, according to all U.S. lightning deaths reported from 2006 through 2021

So, when women are saying that they FEEL SAFER in the FOREST/WOODS alone with a bear than with a strange man, and men, instead of trying to make things BETTER for women, are triggered by it and instead of trying to say, “Men should not rape, men should not act like pigs when it comes to women,” They are trying to gaslight, manipulate and force women to feel crazy and stupid for saying a bear. Then you hear guys ask the question why women who are abused and assaulted never come forward or come forward years later:

As many as 90% of those survivors never report their abuse to law enforcement, and more than 30% will never report their abuse to anyone (National Association to Prevent Sexual Abuse of Children).

What Happens To Rapists When They Are Caught And Reported?

  • 60% of rapes/sexual assaults are not reported to police, according to a statistical average of the past 5 years.  Those rapists, of course, never spend a day in prison.  Factoring in unreported rapes, only about 6% of rapists ever serve a day in jail.
  • If a rape is reported, there is a 50.8% chance of an arrest.
  • If an arrest is made, there is an 80% chance of prosecution.
  • If there is a prosecution, there is a 58% chance of conviction.
  • If there is a felony conviction, there is a 69% chance the convict will spend time in jail.
  • So even in the 39% of attacks that are reported to police, there is only a 16.3% chance the rapist will end up in prison.

Not only are we talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!
The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia.

An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”

THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.

So, when a FEMALE, wants to have NHL PLAYERS on a podcast – you are rejected AUTOMATICALLY.
So, when a FEMALE, wants to develop friendships with hockey players, THEY NEED TO BE CERTAIN WOMEN –
Beyond sexist barriers within the sport, there are misogynist ideas engrained that position women as objects and conquests within hockey culture- That is why you ONLY SEE WOMEN WHO 1- ACCEPT BARE MINIMUM, 2- WILL NOT OPEN THEIR MOUTHS ON WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT HOW OTHER WOMEN ARE TREATED, AND 3- WHO LOOK A CERTAIN WAY!
Misogyny was undeniably evidenced in the alleged gang-sexual assault committed by members of Canada’s 2018 World Junior team, in the subsequent cover-up, and in the revelation that Hockey Canada had a fund that was used consistently and covertly to protect players.
The deeply entrenched sexism and misogyny within hockey culture contribute to these brutal acts of dehumanization. Yet, these connections remain unrecognizable because people are unable to confront the culture that permeates their existence. In addition, as this does not directly impact players, such as the consequences of playing through pain, the calls to confront sexism/misogyny are largely not coming from male players. Unfortunately, there is more impact when people within hockey resist the harmful impacts of the culture as people are more inclined to listen to and empathize with the protagonists in our national narrative and because status is used to legitimize particular perspectives. If current player’s voices are needed, and yet they cannot recognize the objectification of girls and women, how will sexism and misogyny ever be recognized and meaningfully challenged if it remains unrecognizable to those within the culture? Yet, as recent current events have revealed, this resistance is the problem at hand!
AND JUST THIS WEEK, A Native American woman who worked for the Chicago Blackhawks is suing the organization and its charity, the Chicago Blackhawks Foundation, accusing them of breach of oral contract, fraud and sexual harassment.

Then of course we have the dating app Bumble who decided to tell women to KEEP HOOKING UP with guys on their app because they are losing money and that in turn is all they care about! Seriously, I keep telling you all how TERRIBLE dating apps are and they filled with men who ONLY want to hook up, rape women, cheat on partners.. . etc.
Bumble fumbled, are now working quickly fix the damage caused by an ad campaign that pokes fun at celibacy and abstinence. They changed HOW the app worked, which pissed off A TON of women, and then did this ad. They did apologize, but.. THIS IS WHY WOMEN CHOOSE THE BEAR!

Now here’s the KICKER, literally, the kicker in all of this …

The Kansas City Chiefs Kicker Harrison Butkler, said at very conservative Catholic College told women that they shouldn’t be out here, climbing up the corporate ladder that they should be home, taking care of their husband and children.
If women decide to do that, that’s their choice it’s not for a man to decide a woman’s fate.
Which is kind of funny since his mom, Elizabeth Keller Butker is an accomplished academic who holds a degree in Chemistry from Smith College as well as a Master’s degree in Medical Physics.

How did his mom somehow raised him to be a MISOGYNISTIC & SEXIST man?

BTW Harrison, if you are reading this: you’re a kicker you don’t do hard things and you STILL miss. 

I have NOTHING against women who CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, if that’s what you want be and that’s what you desire then go for it but for a man who kicks balls for a living to tell other women that their dreams don’t matter and that they should just be in the kitchen is what’s wrong; it’s 2024 not 1964.

Women can do a lot of different things and wear different hats and that triggers some men who can’t do hard things.

Now, as a Catholic woman, I don’t agree AT ALL with what Harrison has said AND here are the Catholic teachings that I have been taught:

1- We all were created to serve God. We all have a special purpose, that purpose is not the same for everyone.
2- Each of us were shaped differently. We all were given different Spiritual gifts, Personalities, and Abilities. What you are ABLE to do, God wants you to do. No one else can play your role.
3- Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Your purpose is to show love to others.

God doesn’t want everyone to do the same work.
God doesn’t hate any of us based on race, sexuality, or weakness.
God made us and our life started at conception.

Those in the church that preach otherwise are preaching their own agenda. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. Maybe Harrison forgot this. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. I think as a society we have truly have forgotten about love and how to truly love each other.
Love only embraces, and never attacks. It is of the Spirit, and thus incapable of attack.
What a beautiful thought.

The NHL and it’s Misogynist Behavior

It’s no secret that A) I am a hockey fan and B) have had my share of controversy with my podcast – which I will mention later, but in its creepy, disgusting way, is all tied together. 
For those who aren’t hockey fans, there was a story that broke last week in regards to a sexual assault on a female back in 2018 at the World Junior Championship with Team Canada.

Here’s the background on this case:
In March of 2023, TSN’s Rick Westhead reported that The Heritage Committee had unanimously voted for a motion directing Hockey Canada to hand over law firm Henein Hutchison’s final report detailing its investigation into the alleged sexual assault. 

Police investigators in London, Ont., said in December of 2022 that they had “reasonable grounds” to believe that five members of the 2018 Canada World Juniors hockey team sexually assaulted a woman in a hotel room after a Hockey Canada fundraising gala, according to a court filing to the Ontario Court of Justice. 

The sexual assault allegations initially were investigated by London Police in 2018, however, the case was closed in February 2019 without any charges. The investigation was reopened in 2022.

In April of 2022, a woman filed a lawsuit against Hockey Canada, the Canadian Hockey League, and eight unnamed CHL players, stating she was sexually assaulted in a London, Ont. hotel room in June of 2018 following a Hockey Canada event.

The woman elected not to name any of the players involved, and stated in her original claim that it was eight “players for, and members of the CHL and Hockey Canada, including but not limited to members of the Canada U20 Men’s Junior Hockey Team.”

According to the lawsuit, the woman met the players at a bar, who were in London, Ont. for the Hockey Canada Foundation Gala & Golf event on June 18, 2018. She met one of the players, who is referred to as John Doe 1, who bought her alcoholic beverages. The woman said she was separated from her friend group as she became more intoxicated and eventually left the bar and went to a hotel with John Doe 1. 

At the hotel, the two ” engaged in sexual acts” in John Doe 1’s hotel room. The woman said that after this, “John Doe 1 invited the remainder of the John Doe defendants into the room without the knowledge or consent of the Plaintiff.”

The woman said in the claim that over the next several hours, John Does 1-8 engaged in several sexual acts “which collectively constituted sexual abuse and assault of the Plaintiff.” During these assaults, “the Plaintiff experienced an ongoing apprehension of imminent physical harm of a sexual nature. The actions of the John Doe Defendants caused terror and fear in the Plaintiff’s mind.” 

In the claim, the woman states that she could not give consent to any of the actions because of how intoxicated she was. In addition, the group of eight would not let her leave the room, despite multiple attempts by the victim.

The woman claimed that Hockey Canada knew about the allegations and did nothing about them.

Hockey Canada stated on Dec. 20 that their investigation had concluded and an adjunction panel would determine if any sanctions need to be imposed. They would keep the results confidential as the London Police continues with its investigation. 

In addition, Hockey Canada said last year that no player from the 2018 World Juniors team is eligible to play for Canada’s national team in any IIHF event for the foreseeable future.  ”Senior officials at Hockey Canada… claimed they didn’t know who was involved. It was a statement as ridiculous as it was disheartening and sickening.” 

After the initial closing of the investigation, Hockey Canada began to receive backlash from Canada’s political figures and sponsors, in addition to fans of the sport. Especially since they quietly paid off the woman involved.

The NHL said it would conduct its own independent investigation into what happened because some active players were on that team and attended the gala. Commissioner Gary Bettman pledged to release the findings once completed, but as we saw with the hush hush and lack of transparency with what went down with the Blackhawks, we know fully well that this too will be “swept under the rug”
It’s disappointing the NHL doesn’t have the guts to own it, instead putting out a potential new franchise in Utah, to deflect from this breaking story, it’s pathetic really. And what I think far worse is the timing of how the NHL released it “mental health awareness” campaign to allow guys to have a leave of absence from their team and that too, was used to protect the five guys that are being charged with rape. The five guys are: NHL players Michael McLeod and Cal Foote of the New Jersey Devils, Carter Hart of the Philadelphia Flyers and Dillon Dubé of the Calgary Flames. Former NHL player Alex Formenton, who now plays with Swiss club HC Ambrì-Piotta, is the fifth player. Which brings me to the male fans disgusting reaction to this on social media.

This is why women don’t want to speak up. Being raped is the one of the WORST things a woman can feel and go through and these men on social media are more concerned about their hockey teams, defending the guys, and to me, the teams who knew about this and covered it up helped move the players around is despicable.
As a woman I can vouch that we are taught how to defend ourselves against being raped, when how about we actually teach men NOT TO RAPE!?

Of course women who are hockey fans have to endure being called, “puckbunnies” because yeah, heaven forbid a girl likes the sport for the sport. What these aholes on social media don’t realize is that throwing around a term like “puck bunny” is the same as calling them a slut…it’s not any classier and it certainly doesn’t make you look like any more of a real fan- it actually makes you look like loser! 
Most guys feel threaten, by a female who know her shit and is not afraid to tell it. As if women don’t face enough struggle earning respect period in the world today, in the sport of hockey it is 100% worse! Men should be less worried about women making them look bad all awhile they are looking like a catty high schooler for being concerned with their ‘extracurricular activities’. ( I say that with a lot of sarcasm!)

Sexism is no stranger in hockey as it has been in football and even baseball.
The hockey PR departments ACROSS the league HATE women. Yes, I said it and I stick with it. 62% of men are employed by NHL teams while a whopping 37% are women. Not surprised. And if you look at their roles, that’s even worse. 
Women work the sidelines/benches. Do you see women on TNT at the desk? Do you see women on ESPN at the desk? Do you see women as the an analyst? 

Do you see any woman in a high ranking position?  

How many females do you think do an NHL podcast and are promoted by the NHL? 

If you scope out X , you will find thousands of podcasts done by males, and their guests are usually who…. Other males.

On my podcast, I had male guests. For example, one of them a crazy fan, and another was another podcast trying to get big names on his. He told me that he was going to have me on his podcast as that was the deal- I’d be on his he be on mine…. Do you think I was ever on his? 

Because men don’t want to hear women talk hockey .

If you look at some of the women that are hired …. The blonde chicks mind you. That’s the reason they are hired for their looks not for their intelligence. Women are hired so it doesn’t look like they are being discriminated against when, in fact, women are constantly discriminated against in the world of the national hockey league.. they even have this fake special day called women empowerment day…. Like they give two shits about women. 

Going back to my podcast, And the guy that I knew in the PR department for the New York Rangers…. He knew Exactly that I was asking to have Jacob Trouba on my podcast, constantly ignored me, never responded, and then when the controversy hit X, instead of reaching out to me, like a man would do to see if he could fix anything or apologize, he unfollowed me on Instagram, unfollowed me on Facebook to pretend, as if he never knew who I was…. Oh I have screenshots.. 

Trouba on the other hand, knew I was asking for him to be on my podcast, and instead of being a man and reaching out to me, decided to go on a podcast with men at the helm. Trouba showed you that he is sexist against women just as the PR department is…. Just as the New York Rangers organization is….. oh, and by the way, there is a sexual assault lawsuit against the owner, James Dolan. 

I’ve always thought of James Dolan, as a very savvy businessman….. but you can kind of tie everything that’s happened with women in the Knicks and the Rangers organizations together…. don’t forget he’s also had Isaiah Thomas who was accused of sexual harassment, and then put him in charge of the WNBA’s team that used to play at MSG. He showed a lot of disregard for women.
It would be a smart move for James Dolan if he actually showed some concern for women, and what women have to go through to be in sports industry. It would also make him look better with the news coming out of his sexual assault lawsuit.

But you won’t see any other guy on the New York Rangers stand up against Trouba or stand up against what the New York Rangers PR department has done or for that matter stand up for women. No, they’ll just wear those stupid purple jerseys in March for women’s empowerment, and then auction them off for “charity” 

That’s the sad part.
And fans are no better.





Break My Bed, Not My Heart

Here’s the problem… It’s two-fold.
The problem with having a genuine heart, is that people think you’re stupid. They may think they played you. But the whole time they played themselves out of meeting and being with a good person.
Athletes do this to themselves EVERY time. And us fans are STUPID for only expecting bare minimum from them just like women do for men that they date.
What is the bare minimum that fans except and think that the particular athlete is so ‘great’ to them?
All athletes NO MATTER the sport SHOULD freely sign autographs. Now, there are boundaries that fans should respect like if they are out with family and eating at a restaurant you don’t go up to the table while they are enjoying a meal begging for an autograph. But clearly when they are finished it is okay to ask. When they do events, before games, after games. BUT respectfully! If you placed yourself in this limelight by wanting to be a professional athlete, then THIS IS WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR whether you like it or not! Period.
I laugh at seeing social media posts from athletes who literally COMPLAIN about this- um, hello you make millions of dollars and you can’t take 5 seconds to sign an autograph for a fan? Remind me again why you chose this occupation. ( insert roll eyes emoji here)
But then here’s the other side of the coin- ALL athletes get a swelled head and their ego is enlarged when they start to see folks ask them for autographs, the media talks about them, they see social media posts about them and then we start to idolize these dudes. This then makes them start to think that they are BETTER than the regular Joe and on the SAME playing field as a celebrity.
But here is why us fans SHOULD NOT idolize these guys. You have to remember rule one of marketing/branding: Rule one your image as an athlete is EVERYTHING. They are in fact their own brand, and what they do in front of the camera is what in fact makes fans idolize them.
How many times have you been on TwitterX or Instagram and seen your favorite player doing something for charity, or at a hospital, or at an event that is designed for them to look like they give a shit? The kicker is, I am SICK of hearing that this guys “really do in fact care” about us, the regular Joe. I am TIRED of hearing that they are “really great dudes” when their actions when the cameras are not involved are totally different.
Recently some hockey players did this charity thing called Shoulder Check in memory of Hayden Thorsen who loved hockey and excelled as a goalie in Darien, Connecticut. The 16-year-old died unexpectedly in May of 2022 and his family is using his passion for hockey to help Hayden’s legacy live on. The idea is wonderful. The mantra is reach out, check in and make contact. What a beautiful way to remember a kid who was that person who made sure others were okay. But to think that pro-hockey players from the NHL actually will “Reach out, check in and make contact” with fans who on social media maybe post things that are about mental health, or a fan that reaches out to a player to tell them how they love them, is UNREALISTIC to say the least!

The truth of the matter really is, that behind a screen you don’t know what ANYONE in life is dealing with and sure you can “study” their posts, and you can Google their name, but that is not going to give you who the REAL person REALLY is! People don’t live in their pasts anymore, they grow, adapt, change… and we ALL including the NHL players have skeletons in our closets that don’t define who we are today!

A friend of mine posted that Mika Zibanejad spent time signing autographs at the Shoulder Check and yes, he’s VERY good at doing this, and again, this is the bare minimum that fans have come to expect and not hold athletes to a higher standard. But his quote from the event was very telling, “You can see if you’re hurt physically sometimes but mentally, it’s very hard to see that and to see the signs.” Not true. Not true at all. I think most people ignore the mental signs because they just don’t want to deal with that.
So here are the signs that are as CLEAR CUT as daylight that people are experiencing a mental breakdown:

Symptoms of withdrawal

  • Not showing up for work for one or more days or calling in sick.
  • Missing scheduled appointments or social events.
  • Slipping into poor lifestyle habits like unhealthy eating, not getting enough sleep or can’t sleep, poor hygiene and not exercising.
  • Losing interest in activities or hobbies or things that brought you joy.
  • Not wanting to leave your home or be with others.

Symptoms of depression

  • Feeling very sad, hopeless, helpless or worried.
  • Being irritated, frustrated or having outbursts.
  • Having trouble concentrating.
  • Having thoughts of self harm or suicide.

Symptoms of anxiety

  • Feeling pain, fear and uneasiness.
  • Having nightmares.
  • Unable to remain still and calm.
  • Nausea
  • Heart palpitations
  • Cold or sweaty hands.
  • Dizziness.
  • Upset stomach.
  • Trembling or shaking.
  • Trouble breathing.
  • Panic Attacks.

See, we all see these signs but we pass them over as just “normal” when they are not normal. And do you really think a pro-athlete is going to 1) care and 2) check on fans? That to me ins unreasonable to even think! Most of the time they don’t even check on their teammates nor they deny that they are going through a rough patch because they don’t want to be seen as weak. Again, we have the male stereotypical concept, that a man is weak asking for help and men can’t show emotions.

Recently, if you read this blog or follow me on social media, you know that I have been asking Jacob Trouba, Vincent Trocheck and Ryan Lindgren to do a fun segment with me called “Coffee With The Captain (and teammates)- which is basically 30 minutes of talking about why they take their coffee the way they do, hockey questions I have and just plainly have a fun – fun questions like do you prefer Pretzels or Potato Chips- getting to know each other so I can see them OUTSIDE the RINK and WHO They TRULY are as PEOPLE. Well, I have been asking for 2months and they look at the videos and they ignore me. They treat me like I am trash. I’m not someone they “need” or who is “important” so they don’t even respond at all.

NOTHING exposes CHARACTER MORE than the way you TREAT people you don’t THINK you need.

My point is, STOP putting these guys on a pedestal when they don’t give a rats ass about you.

Remember, all they do in front of the cameras is JUST for SHOW – it’s not who they GENUINELY are.

And if this is not who they genuinely are, and they truly are the “good guys” then they respond to me and do the segment. Cause they care about people and they remember where they came from… Don’t worry, I ain’t holding my breath but I will find a NHL player who actually cares and who will do this with me.

The saying is true, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”One should not judge the worth or value of something by its outward appearance alone. For example, “That man may look very small and insignificant, but don’t judge a book by its cover – he’s a very powerful man in his circle.

Remember, karma, she’s a bitch. How you treat people will ALWAYS come back around to you.
And if this who Jacob, Vinny and Ryan genuinely are… then their true character has been exposed and it’s all a show as to who they pretend to be… But if this isn’t who they genuinely are, then they will do the fun segment with me. But make no mistake.. I will find a NHL player who will do the segment with me.
I have worked too hard to keep playing small.
I never will discount myself and my worth.
I deserve to be respected whether I am a celebrity or not.
I know what I bring to the table and I just raised the bar.

Stalking On Social Media Is Not Cool

I seriously need to learn how to speak stupid since most people don’t understand that they can’t keep crossing people’s boundaries and expect that to be okay.

Stalking is a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear. Unfortunately social media stalking has become so normalized and I don’t mean spying on someone by looking at what they are posting and what they are saying. I mean flat out stalking. You post something, they reply. You talk to someone else, they interrupt the conversation by forcing themselves within the conversation. You flirt with someone, they act all jealous by saying something they think is funny when it’s rude.

You get the gist of what I am saying. That is NOT normal. That is NOT acceptable. That is stalking plain and simple.

What is worse is when they start Dming you to gaslight and manipulate you into talking to them when you are trying your best to avoid them and avoid the drama that goes along with that. Remember, Gaslighting is when they insist you said or did things you know you didn’t do. Call you “too sensitive” or “crazy” when you express your needs or concerns. Often people gaslight because being right allows them to validate themselves. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation. They are trying to get you to feel that you are at fault not them for their behavior.

There are boundaries that NO ONE should EVER cross when on social media and that making someone feel uncomfortable on a social media platform. Sometimes we do things without knowing that we are being that way and then there people who clearly know what they are doing and they don’t care how they make others feel. I have boundaries on line and no one is allowed to cross them. I don’t care who they hell you are, if you make me question why I am following you, why I am talking to you and why I am allowing you to follow me, then I act quickly and I block your ass.

There are certain social media etiquette rules that people tend to forget, so the reality is, social media is social interaction. It’s not just like real life; it is real life. So act accordingly by asking yourself before posting anything: Would I be comfortable saying this face to face? In the ‘real’ world, would you randomly approach an acquaintance and ask them for a favor?” Would you jump into a conversation with strangers without some context? Accept a gift without saying ‘thank you’?” Just because you are online doesn’t mean that these real life rules don’t apply. IF someone is PUBLICLY flirting with someone and YOU ARE NOT THE PERSON THEY ARE FLIRTING WITH STAY OUT OF THE CONVERSATION! Just because it’s a public forum, like Twitter, doesn’t mean that people need your 2 cents with EVERY SINGLE TWEET! When you do that you look like a jealous asshole who can’t contain him/herself and think you need to part of the conversation when it doesn’t concern YOU!

When you follow people, on ANY platform DO NOT LIKE OLD PHOTOS. That is the biggest stalking red flag. Do not belittle others, downgrade others or bully others on a public forum. First off it’s just rude and uncalled for. Secondly it does not make you look like a tough guy/girl, it makes you look small and insecure.

Know when to comment and when to be part of a conversation. There are many times that I see people having a serious conversation or they are so engrossed in the conversation on Twitter or even Facebook that I don’t bother to get involved. I will read the conversation, but I know my place. I know WHEN to comment and WHEN to stay out. I also know HOW to be an adult in a conversation which means that if you can’t talk to me nicely, and you start acting childish, I automatically block you.

Don’t be afraid to mute people or block them. You should NEVER feel uncomfortable using ANY platform and if someone is making you feel that way, you have EVERY right to protect your sanity and your boundaries.

Social media should be a place where you meet new friends, network, entertain others and also advertise businesses. Let’s all try to keep it that way.

I Remember 9/11

I will always remember where I was on that day and how it impacted everyone’s lives.

I remember working at a school that day and having a co-worker tell me her dad worked in the North Tower and in 50 years he NEVER missed a day of work until that day.
I remember having to comfort a parent who thought his wife was on 1 of those planes. Luckily she wasn’t.
I remember driving home that night and seeing State Troopers parked at every exit on the Thruway.
I remember learning that my neighbor lost his dad that day trying to rescue others. He was a firefighter.
I remember hearing about friends who lost siblings in the buildings.

I also remember how this Country BANNED TOGETHER and NEVER let Politics stand between each other – how we were kind and caring of one another. We need to REMEMBER that because we as a Country have lost sight of what TRULY is important. If you don’t want to do it for yourself and your neighbors do it for the 3,000 lives that were lost that day.

Don’t let hate win but rather let love reign.

💙
♥️

Abortion and the right to it.

So, unless you are under a rock, today the US Supreme Court overturned Roe vs Wade, which in my opinion, they messed up way back in 1973.

First off, it NEVER was a constitutional right.

I don’t know what school some of you went to, but in history class or social studies as we called it, abortion was never part of the constitution. It’s not part of the 14th amendment it’s not part of the first/ second amendment it is not part of the constitution at all. Second of all row vs wade should’ve been thrown out, as each state makes its own rules and laws. Some state laws that differ from state to state gun control laws, custody laws, divorce laws, motor vehicle laws, business laws, but each are run separately.

Each state in the United States has a legislator as part of its form of government and most of the fundamental details of the legislator are specific in the state Constitution. State legislators are like miniature congresses no two are exactly alike. You have state legislators ,you have state assemblies, each state writes their own bills ,has their own budgets, etc. Obviously then we have the federal laws which all states are to abide by, but abortion should not be one of them.

Now of course what I’m going to say is going to trigger some of you, but I’m going to say it anyway. Abortion is not birth control! Let me say it again for those in the back, abortion is not birth control! Abortion is only needed for three reasons 1) incest 2) rape and 3) the mother‘s life is in danger and the only way to save her is to unfortunately abort the baby. It is not birth control where are you can have sex with as many partners as you want, get pregnant and have an abortion. If you would like to do that, then that’s what condoms are for, that’s what birth control is for. And speaking of condoms, everyone should be using them when you are having sex with multiple partners. There are things out there in the world called STDs, AIDS, being one of them and we stop the spread of those by having safe sex! So please, if you’re going to have sex use common sense.

Also for the men out there abortion is not so you don’t then have to pay child support for you being irresponsible by having sex without a condom.
I will also add that is why folks then put babies up for adoption. There are MANY couples and WOMEN who want children, but or some reason can not have them. Adoption is the ONLY way for some to go.

Remember every US state is also SOVEREIGN entity in its own right and it’s granted the power to create laws and regulate them according to their needs. Therefore abortion should be one of them whether you like it or not. 

Is Every Body Really Beautiful?

Having a healthy body image means that a person accepts the way they look without trying to change their body to fit what they think they should look like since society portrays “what we should look like and be” in order to be accepted. This attitude is very dangerous because the greater our discontent with how we measure up when compared to what society tells us we “should” look like, the more negative our body image, and the greater the risk for extreme behaviors.

When you are talking about weight and women, you cannot wage war on obesity without waging war on the people who live in those “obese” bodies. No one should be bullied for their weight or food choices, but ‘fat pride’ promotes dangerous weight levels. And while shopping at Target, yet once again, I came across a T-shirt that said, “Every Body Is Beautiful” – and I found myself saying, “No,” out loud. Empowering women of non-Barbie proportions to feel good about themselves, is one thing. But suggesting that being a size 30 is just as healthy as being a size 12 isn’t a body-positive message either – it’s an irresponsible lie. And what is worse is the fact that these women are being used in the industry to sell products, clothes, and food designed to “celebrate” their non-skinny bodies.

Think about this for a second: smoking is an addiction that many struggle to control, as is weight, but we don’t celebrate it with social media campaigns about smoking pride the same as they do with “fat pride.” While what you do with your own body is your own business, actively encouraging unhealthy lifestyle choices and denying health risks with being obese on social media isn’t promoting body positivity, it’s the stepping stones to having an eating disorder. This idea that you are “fat but fit” is just a social media campaign that promotes being unhealthy all for a good buck.

Now, as I don’t agree that every woman needs to be a size 2 to be accepted, I think the main focus of society shouldn’t be the outer shell we are in, but rather who we are as people. The saying is true, “Looks fade, but personality and who you are is forever.”

When it comes to weight and women, it really is a catch 22: damned if you are skinny, and damned if you overweight and then talk about it all. Why can’t we just be allowed to celebrate WHO we are, not WHAT we look like? Remember, we create a legacy for ourselves. Do you want to be remembered on how you looked, or on your character?

Remembering 9/11

9/11/01

I will always remember where I was on that day and how it impacted everyone’s lives. I remember working at a school that day and having a co-worker tell me her dad worked in the North Tower and in 50 years he NEVER missed a day of work until that day.

I remember having to comfort a parent who thought his wife was on 1 of those planes. Luckily she wasn’t.

I remember driving home that night and seeing State Troopers parked at every exit on the NY State Thruway

.I remember learning that my neighbor lost his dad that day trying to rescue others. He was a firefighter.

I remember hearing about friends who lost siblings in the buildings.

I also remember how this Country BANNED TOGETHER and NEVER let Politics stand between each other – how we were kind and caring of one another. We need to REMEMBER that because we as a Country have lost sight of what TRULY is important.

If you don’t want to do it for yourself and your neighbors do it for the 3,000 lives that were lost that day. Don’t let hate win but rather let love reign.

💙
♥️

#september11#remembering911#twintowers

Breaking: Relationship Impossible

My book, ” Relationship Impossible,” the most anticipated book of the summer, was officially released on Amazon as an eBook June 5th.

You Can Purchase it HERE

In the meantime, you can listen to a podcast reading of the book here: CLICK

There will be a contest coming up soon and also a giveaway of the book AND my coffee brand that I am launching soon!

Follow me on INSTAGRAM

Follow me on TWITTER

Sassy Nation Podcast

Each week I have a new episode- This week’s topics

On Sassy Nation #podcast

– Lebron James and his ignorant following

– Stop allowing the media to categorize people

-An inside look to my upcoming book, Relationship Impossible – And more ( Knicks won 7 in a row!)

#socialmedia

#nba


Click Here to Listen