Why Women Should Enjoy Having Orgasms As Much As Men Do

 

Double standards with dating are everywhere and there’s a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that claims women don’t really have orgasms but instead squirt out a little pee. I’m here to debunk that.

For women, orgasms don’t come as easy as with men, but women can and should enjoy them as much as men do.

Orgasms Can Relieve Pain: There is some evidence that suggests orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain—including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery and even pain during childbirth.

Condom Use Doesn’t Affect Orgasm Quality: Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom, dispelling myths that condoms don’t make for good sex. Condoms are good for SAFE sex and are 97% effective in stopping pregnancy.

30% of Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm: One in three women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex. So a study that was done on only seven women and said that women don’t orgasm — they pee — is ridiculous! Now, women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, so guys, if you really want to see a woman literally “lose control,” you better work.

Here are 15 ways to help women achieve the Big O:

1- Finding Your G-spot May Improve the Likelihood of Orgasm- Yes, the G-spot is important in having an orgasm — it’s that simple. (Regardless of those who say it doesn’t exist).

2- Foreplay Isn’t Optional as Far as Your Orgasm is Concerned- It takes 10-20 minutes of stimulation for the average woman to reach her peak so the more kissing and caressing you do, the better.

3- Oral is One of the Best Ways to Get Off- 80 percent of women have difficulty from having an orgasm on vaginal sex alone. If you really want to kick it up a notch, oral sex will do it. Most women can orgasm from masturbation, but not everyone comes during sex.

4- Masturbation- Women are so embarrassed to admit that they masturbate when the males in our lives aren’t. We’re looked at as “freaks” when we even admit to it, but it’s the easiest way for women to hit the big O. And the more you do it, the better.

5- Kegel Exercises- Doing your Kegel exercises flexes the muscles that stop urination. Do 10 reps, holding each rep for 10 seconds, twice a day while you’re watching TV or doing just about anything.

6-It’s All in the Noise : Low-pitched noises bring them down to…well, down there. So actually, the louder you are the longer it will take for you to orgasm.

7-Relationship O: Women in relationships tend to climax a higher percentage of the time during sex than women who are just hooking up.

8- Happy Place: Not only is the G-spot important, but for some women, stimulation of the nipples and breasts can increase the likelihood of having an orgasm and increase its intensity.

9- The Big O and Your Age: Sixty-five percent of women in their 30s and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s orgasm more often than those in their 20s.

Oh, Baby: Orgasms may boost the chance of getting pregnant.

10- Burn, Baby, Burn: An orgasm burns just 2–3 calories, though a person can burn around 50 calories in the activity leading up to the orgasm.

11- It’s More About Cuddling: When a woman orgasms, her body produces four times the normal amount of oxytocin, the chemical that stimulates bonding.

12- Turn It On: A 2007 study found that straight women were aroused by watching films of both men and women having sex.

13- Toys For Pleasure: At the start of the 20th Century, the first electric home vibrators hit the market before many other household ‘essentials’

14- Eat it Up: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein: dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. (Yes, women are sexually controlled due to testosterone, not men.) Also, eating a little dark chocolate releases sexual desire in women as well.

15- Want More: Want more orgasms? Then switch stimulation techniques. If you’ve just reached orgasm through clitoral stimulation, try penetration to continue the sensations. Or vice versa.

Everyone’s body response is different. We’re unique, our reactions vary, and most importantly, not everyone is a dramatic and loud, as you see in movies. Orgasms are about being comfortable with your partner and communicating with your partner about what you like and don’t like. This is key to everything about relationships.

You can read more in my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd” and in the upcoming follow up being released some time in 2020.

Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing. Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, by either pretending to be a woman or getting a woman they know to befriend me on social media. So here’s a tip for all your ladies out there: If a “woman” befriends you on social media out of the blue based on something you have posted and the conversation gets really personal by them initiating it, then somehow during the conversation they tell you, “… but don’t mention my name,” or “Don’t tell them I said it,” then you know there’s something up with that. When the person who initiates the conversation is now being secretive, you know that “woman” is really either A) a friend of the guy, or B) the guy pretending to be a woman. And I laugh, because guys can’t even talk like women do, which is a dead giveaway. Guys talk the same online as they do in person. They aren’t that good of an actor. What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

But do guys know what women really want? Here are a few things:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4– Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

Younger Man, Older Woman, Why Not?

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow! Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? What is this world that we live in!

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)

Create Your Own Fireworks July 4th

It’s really not rocket science to turn a woman on and let her know that you are interested in her. Men for some reason think that it’s so hard to “read” us, when really, it’s not. We give you guys cues, whether or not you pick up on them is all on you!

So if you plan on going to any July Fourth picnics or events and you see a woman you know and want to approach her, or you see a woman you don’t know and want to approach her; here are all cues laid out for you in black and white.

First and foremost, texting and calling us back is a turn on.  Also responding to our social media messages is a turn on as well.

But what you guys don’t realize is that when you stop texting us we know that you are already emotionally hooked, so there’s no reason NOT to text back, you know, unless you want to be seen as a jerk, then sure, stop texting and calling us! It’s only your reputation you’re hurting, not ours. So if you text a woman you know already and want to be more than just friends, keep at it. Also, if you meet a woman on social media and want to keep getting to know her; respond to every message she sends you!

You are out with your buddies and see a woman you would like to approach. Here’s a cue: When you are staring at a woman or you just finished saying hi to her, and she starts to bite her lip, she is turned on by you and she is debating what move to make next.

Here are other cues that you have peaked a woman’s interest in her:

1) When a woman starts “fixing” her bra, you sir, have turned her on.

2) Sometimes, yes sometimes, us women can be brought speechless. This usually happens when we really, really, like a guy. And when we’re in the mist of flirting, sometimes it seems as if we are not interested when we really are freaking out and trying to quickly think of something witty and sexy to say. So the next time there is dead silence, it’s just a woman trying to figure out what to say next.

3) If she sits diagonally from you or across from you at the room, her torso is facing you in an open manner, or her shoulders and hips are facing you. Either of these signs may mean she likes you. When she is sitting and she has her legs crossed, watch her feet, if its pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.

4) Whenever a woman plays with her jewelry when you are around, (necklace, rings, bracelet) she is nervously turned on by you and wants you to come over to her. Whenever she fidgets while staring at you, she is hoping that will get your attention.

5) We know that you guys spy on us on social media, so we are always one step ahead of you by posting pictures of ourselves either alone or with friends when we look amazing. We know how to play the game, and getting you jealous or curious about us, is how we do it. Also, getting compliments makes us feel good about ourselves. So , hint, hint.

Now, those cues are for mostly women you meet when you are out and about. The following are cues for women that you already know and are “friends” with her.

1) When you kiss our foreheads, hands, cheek, in a loving way, we know that you are trying to hide how you truly feel for us. But when you plant one on the lips, and it’s a soft kiss, that just takes our breath away.

2) Even if you hold my hand for 5 seconds, and I am attracted to you, I’m yours. Touch my arms, leg, be flirty while we talk and you got me!

3) Sometimes you guys are so stupid! If you see me hanging out in the same place as you, don’t wait for me to come over and say hi, make a move and say hello. If you see me wearing something that you really like, say it! Notice me and throw a compliment my way, you’ll score big points.

4) In general, a lot of guys make the mistake of bailing on the conversation too early.  BUT, when a woman is making an effort to talk to you and try to keep the conversation going, she’s interested: BIG time.

Theses are the things you can do to fuel that spark and then keep the fireworks from burning out. Keeping the fireworks alive past July 4th, is not that hard, really.  A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as taking a walk around your town, ordering pizza in and watching a movie, lighting candles instead of the turning on the lamp near the TV,  and so forth.   We don’t need you to take us to the most expensive restaurant in town. Sometimes just going out for breakfast on the weekends is a very sweet gesture and is something that totally turns us on.

Finally,  if it’s passion that you are craving for this July Fourth, you aren’t alone. Passion makes life good. It’s the essence of experiencing a fire within you! .  Passion is the energy that keeps us going, that keeps us filled with love, excitement, and anticipation.  If you want to feel more passion in your life, then you have to become passionate. Passionate people tend to attract other passionate people. There are fireworks all within us, we just need to take the time to let them out, and this summer is a great time to do that.  If you’re with the right person and the passion goes from a flaming fire to a slow, burning love, it can last a lifetime.

 

10 Facts Every Woman Should Know

1. Everyone has rolls when they bend over. Your body is NEVER going to look perfect. Ever.
2. When someone tells you that you’re beautiful, believe them. Stop thinking that people are just saying it, no they mean it.
3. Sometimes we all wake up with breath that could kill anything that is breathing.  Bad breath happens to everyone.
4. For every woman unhappy with her stretch marks is another woman who wishes she had them. There are so many women who wish they were moms, remember that.
5. You should definitely have more confidence. And if you saw yourself the way others see you, you would. Your can accomplish anything you set your mind too!
6. Don’t look for a man to save you. Be able to save yourself. Men are not heroes, be your OWN hero and save yourself!
7. Life happens outside your comfort zone.  If you never take any risks, you never grow. Life is about growing and learning. Don’t be afraid to live the life YOU want.
8. We all have that one friend who seems to have it all together. That woman with the seemingly perfect life. Well, you might be that woman to someone else.
9. You should be a priority. Not an option, a last resort, or a backup plan. Ever.
10. You’re a woman. That alone makes you pretty damn remarkable. 💕

 

5 Ways To Love Yourself Everyday

Sleep, wake up, work. And repeat. That’s a daily grind that we all seem to go through daily as we dread the next time the alarm goes off. There’s more to life than work. What is one thing you can do every day to take care of yourself, to gain some important, “me time?”

Start your day off with meditation and exercise.

Sit and focus on how you breathe for at least 1 to 5 minutes or preferably 15 to 20 min. Connect with nature by taking your workouts outside (also great for getting your daily dose of Vitamin D), do some yoga, or simply stretch. Endorphins will surface and lift your spirit and immune system higher. I love going for 2 mile walks.

Read.

Pick a few articles from blogs and websites that you find inspiring and read them throughout the day. Most people don’t’ have time to simply read a book, but if you choose to read a book, make it fictional. The reason is so you can find an escape for at least 15-20 minutes a day reading something that enraptures your imagination.

Put yourself on a schedule so that you make time for play.

Use your vacation days or use a personal day. Even a single mental health day or a short trip out of town is a great mental booster! Get out of your normal routine and do something out of the ordinary. Too often we get use to our comfort zone, that we fall into a rut or we burn out, so use your vacation days before they roll over. Also take time to enjoy the weekends. Weekends with no play are no fun.

Have A Hobby

Letting your creative juices flow with stop you from getting caught up in the monotony of daily life. You also can find it fun and interesting to learn a new skill, or polish up on one that you already have. You could also meet new people as a result of your hobby and join a group or go to a workshop/class on it. Cooking, sewing, woodwork, painting, the ideas are endless and up to you!

Unplug from technology.

What is the first thing people tend to do when they first wake up? They grab their phones, tablets, or laptops and start plugging away. Leave the electronics alone until you’ve given yourself time to get ready for the day ahead. Make time for breakfast, which usually gets ignored or forgotten about and save the email, Facebook, and other social media platforms for the end of your morning ritual.

Have a great Valentine’s Day- Remember to LOVE yourself FIRST.  If you don’t, you can’t expect anyone else too.

hearts

Are You A Badass and Fearless Woman?

Fearless women do things people don’t expect them to do. Not only that, they set their own standards. Every woman has the opportunity to be badass and fearless at the same time. Here’s how:

1 Wake up feeling fearless:

You set your goals and finds ways of achieving them because the person they should take care of first and foremost, it the one they see in the mirror.

2 Beauty Sleep

There’s such a thing as getting your beauty sleep. 8 hours a night is what you need to wake up refreshed and ready to go. For some reason, women will spend money on beautifying their outer self but resist when it comes to the inner self.  Unless you are planning on being on the cover of Vogue – please invest on what matters most to your success.

3 Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone

. The path to reaching further into your potential is getting out of the same old comfort zone you’ve been in. You cannot expect different results by being the same year after year – now that’s crazy! But go ahead and expect a little chaos in the midst of change. You can handle it.

4 Ready? Set? Go!
There’s no doubt that excising will make you feel and look even more  badass than you are while reading this! So get up off the couch and start exercising.

5 Cinderella Lives

For a woman, having a great pair of sexy high heels not only makes you look badass, but it changes how you feel. When you have your sexy pair you also walk with higher confidence.

6 March To Your Own Drum

March to your own drum. The one that beats to your rhythm. Refrain from following the crowd like sheep or doing everything exactly as someone else does to be successful.

7 Badass and Fearless Women Never Play the Victim Card- Ever!

It’s time to take off the superwoman cape. Stay away from victimhood and martyrdom. While most women are searching social media for acceptance, fearless women are out there living life to the fullest, not giving a rats ass about what others think or say.

8 Your Past is Just That- Your Past

Badass women get to be badass because they don’t dwell on their past, they use it to create their futures.

9 A Badass Woman Needs A Badass Man

Fearless and badass women like their partners to be present and accounted for; texting and using social media are great for quick communication, but she wants a man that shows up and is real. She doesn’t play games.

10 Fearless Women Have No Time To Care About Things They Shouldn’t

Fearless women don’t spend time worrying about how others are shaping up – they are too busy getting their lives in order. Celebrities?  who cares. Folks social media posts? She doesn’t have time for that. She’s got things to do and people to see.

11 Make a Statement

Fearless women are not afraid of saying what’s on their minds, they do it and they aren’t sorry for how they feel.  A badass woman will never ever let anyone treat her like she’s below them. She’s sexy, fearless, empowered and she knows it.

12 Surround Yourself With The Right People

When it comes to friendships or relationships, she isn’t going to surround herself with people who can’t appreciate her for WHO she is. She knows what she brings to the table, so if someone is treating her unfairly,  she knows when to move up and move on.

13 Want A Piece Of Me?

Fearless and sexy women never shy away from going after their dreams. They fight for what they want and believe in no matter what their haters say.  It’s taken years of building herself up in a world that is constantly trying to knock her down so she’s not going to stand for anyone that doesn’t respect her.

Why The #WhyIDidntReportIt Makes Women Look Weak

I hate to put the brakes on this #metoo movement but this isn’t a movement that is going to get actual results. Let’s take a look at the opposing side, shall we? First of all, all these women coming out, they’re not showing courage and strength; courage and strength would’ve been coming out at the moment it happened while they put their self respect and their self-worth ahead of their careers. Also, do they think that this is actually going to help them in the long run? No it’s not.

Have you ever heard of having an office romance? Well you can kill that now because all men in the office are going to be afraid of having any sort of romantic relationship with any woman in the office. Also imagine having a meeting with an executive if you are a woman. Now if you want have a meeting with an executive you’re not going to be alone with that that executive if he’s a man. He’s going to have a bunch of people in that office because he’s going to be deathly afraid that you were going to then come out 20 years later and say that he sexually harassed you.

When you’re drunk and he’s drunk guess what? it’s not a #metoo moment, it’s two people doing something stupid moment. It’s not being sexually harassed or sexually abused or actually assaulted because you know you’re drunk. No, it’s sorry you made a mistake. When you are drunk you don’t have all your facilities ( your brain) working. You can’t drive, can’t walk a straight line, and can’t remember crap. Do sober women get raped by drunk guys? Yes. But that’s not the story we are hearing now, is it?

So this week on Twitter someone started that trending topic of why I didn’t reported. Sorry I don’t believe you because all you’re looking for is attention, followers and people to join your pity party. You should’ve come out and report is it happen when it happens not when it all of a sudden convenient for you. That’s not how society works and is not how it should work. #WhyIDidn’tReport Sorry your pity party train is being derailed. Sure, I’m going to believe you as you tweeted it on Twitter. I guess I’ve had many, many #metoo moments then if I count all the guys who have DM’ed me their junk looking for quick hook-ups. Or the men who catcall me while jogging.

Here are responses from people on social media that keep being written time and time again during this #metoo movement with Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and the difference between them and Kavanaugh:

1- “I agree that if he is guilty he should pay for his crime, but what I don’t understand is why wait 30 or 40 years to report it? It makes know sense to me!”

2- “I really believe he didn’t do anything wrong I mean why would you wait 30 to 40 years to come forward? These ladies wanted attention… u waited 30-40 years to say something?? And u believe it?? What proof do they have?”

3- “Those women laid with him for a better career now that he is filthy rich they want cash in with rape after those many years!! Why wait sooo many yrs to then speak?”

While there was no physical evidence in the Cosby case(s), he did admit to giving Constand pills, which corroborated the stories of his other victims. Over the course of four days of questioning, Cosby admitted to acquiring Qualuudes, a powerful sedative, to give to women with whom he wanted to have sex.

If Kavanaugh admitted he went to the party but didn’t do anything or that it was consensual like Cosby admitted, then we can make the comparison. However, Kavanaugh has numerous character witnesses that attest to his good conduct and all of the accusers so far have not provided any details as to when/where/why/how. It came out of nowhere!

Here’s what Dr.Christine Blasey Ford said “My best estimate of how this COULD of happened.”

A victim who believes herself would say “DID” happen not could. And another quote, “I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t remember as much as I would like to.” Also, an observation: If that was me I wouldn’t be reading from a script. it would be coming from the heart. But she has her doctorate in psychology so she knows exactly how to play the role. And if she feels it’s her civic duty to come forward now, she would have told it before today, like when Kavanaugh went to law school.

Not all women are believing her. Take this woman’s statement: “As an actual victim I find her disgusting. How dare she use sexual assault for political reasons.

The difference between the #metoo movement and the #WhyIDidntReport hashtag is simple. Anybody can say anything on social media does that make it true and does it make it a fact? No it doesn’t. just because I can write on social media that I was abused 20 years ago doesn’t make it true! Everybody is becoming so naïve and believing everything that people are writing, when there’s no facts behind what people are saying, they’re just words they’re not actions that go along with it.

I can come up with my own. I was 15 and this guys that worked with one of my parents he took me in a closet and he actually assaulted me and he told me that if I said anything he was going to kill my family that’s why I didn’t report it. So would you believe that if I tweeted that? Would you believe that if I post that on Facebook? It’s just words it sounds horrible but does that make it true!

So are all women supposed to “stick together?” Not necessarily. Women are like any other people. They are not always angels. There are many women who will compete with you and not play according to the rules. This is not a perfect world. Behind every successful woman is another woman jealous of her success. As a female I hate how women are just being thrown into the conversation to show, “oh look, we’re progressing!” No, we’re not. It’s an insult to women to just throw them a bone and say, “Oh, we’re progressing, we believe in women and we believe women can have high powering jobs!”

Sure, I know women are smart and I know women can do a great job at being anything they want to be. But let the women earn it.

If that is the one lesson that we all can learn from #MeToo, then I hope most learn it. Remember, respect is earned, not a given.  You need to respect yourself first and foremost if you ever want someone else to reciprocate that respect.  I hope in 2019, the media makes a woman famous for expanding her mind, not her breasts, nor coming out 40 years later to tear down someone just for politics sake.

Double Standards In Dating

Double Standards.

When it comes to dating there are tons of them. I will cut through the proverbial crap, and just get down to the nitty gritty. Here are four double standards that are not so obvious:

1- When a relationship breaks up men are seen as jerks, women are seen as victims.

2- Men will cheat, women have control.

3- When a man asks a question, he is concerned about his woman. If a woman does, she’s considering to be nagging.

4- Women are always seen as victims when it comes to domestic disputes and men are always seen as the attackers.

The one double standard that is the obvious one is that older men can date younger women with no problem, whereas, older women who date younger men are seen as “rocking the cradle,” and are also called “Cougars.”

I did a study on Twitter recently and 84% of people surveyed said that a woman should be able to date a younger man. And a woman should be able to do so without having judgement passed.  We need to stop this double standard stuff when it comes to dating and just remember one thing: Dating is supposed to be fun, its supposed to lead people together so they can form relationships. And if that means a girl dates a younger guy, so be it. Who are we to judge women and their relationships?

Older women look more appealing to younger guys for a variety of reasons. There is the fact that older women will not play love games and know exactly what they want. Some of them may not want the family, and all that goes with the picket fence, but as a woman’s biological clock ticks even louder, that idea may change. Younger men often find older women more interesting, experimental, fun to talk to, financially settled, and more adept sexually. As one guy in his twenties told me, “I guess it could be nice to not hang around a ditz with no knowledge of life, music, or something like that.”

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There are men in their twenties that can give any man in their forties a run for his money. Maturity has nothing to do with age but it is the actions & behaviors that you display during adverse situations that do.

A twenty-eight year old guy told me flat out what attracts him to older women: “The experiences in life they’ve had make them more grounded and realistic. I have a preference for women starting at about ten years older than myself and up. It’s adventurous for both of us, because it is a wild and new exciting journey. Younger women just don’t let me grow in the ways older women do.” He added, “You have 30, 40, and 50 year old women today who look like they are 25, and you can’t even tell the difference!”

So what does a woman have to do in order to date a younger man? Are the rules different? And what are advantages for a young guy to date an older woman?

In order to date a younger man, a woman must first attract a younger man into her life. How does that happen? The answer is simple. Be open to the possibility. You don’t have to change how you dress. You don’t have to scout the college bars. Just live your life, and watch what happens. Trust me on this one.

The younger person gets an experienced partner who is often better established in the world. The “senior partner” may also have more money, perhaps, even, a more interesting life. The older person, for her part, gets a higher-energy partner who is likely to help the couple stay fit, quite likely, more sexually active.

Younger men come from a different generation. Therefore, they perceive the world differently than their older counterparts. They grew up with working moms. They respect and admire powerful women. Whereas older men have been taught to see women as accessories to their lives, younger guys see women as equals. (Not all younger guys, but 95% of them) Since younger men accept female empowerment as the norm, that principle transfers into equal partnership. Chances are he’ll be more adventurous than you’re used to. He may challenge your ideals. He’s apt to push you to open your thinking to a new perspective.

What attracts a younger man to an older women, is the lack of games. So, if your default is to pullout the known “this-always-works trick,” forget it. He lacks the polish his older counterparts possess in countering your moves. You’ll be forced to be real. Honesty is the best communication policy here. And, that’s a very good thing. Who really has time to play games anyway? This is the part where older guys can learn a thing or two from the younger guys. No woman wants to play games and no woman has time to play games.

A older woman will also force him to grow up and act more mature. As the older woman you will open the door to a new vision of life for him. You will have experienced things that he may not have yet had the chance to or you may have great advice to offer him for decisions he will have to make. But be prepared because he may have a completely different world view. You will be forced to see things differently, and learn new things. But I find that is more positive than negative. By the way, we always hear that older men are better in bed. Personally, I think it’s just a rumor… started by older men. They may have been with more partners, but being with more partners doesn’t mean that you are “better” than your young counterparts. And younger guys may be more willing to try new things than to just go through the motions as older guys tend to do. 

 

The top 5 online dating safety tips for women

The dating scene these days just isn’t what it’s cracked up to be!  People today have for some reason, given up on meeting people in person, which is the best bet for a long, lasting relationship, and have head to online dating sites and apps instead. Now, when it was first created, online dating was a fun new avenue for a woman on the prowl.  But, now it’s a dangerous place filled with cheaters, scammers, criminals, and guys that just want to hook up.  It’s not easy to find a lasting relationship when you are searching through thousands of profiles.  Even though you are sitting at home in your PJ’s hiding behind a keyboard, you need to still be careful of whom and who you eventually decide to meet. Here are some straightforward tips to do just that!

1. Only arrange a meeting with someone you have been getting to know for a while now. If you feel that you are at the point where you want to meet someone, always meet them in a public place, away from your home and be sure to tell someone where you are going.
2. Do not tell him where you live. Never give out your address, until you feel safe to do so. This should be after a few dates. Once they know where you live, there is no going back.
3. Do not accept a ride on the first date. Use your own method of transportation. Even if they seem like a great guy, you should not get in a car with them. Especially if you are alone with them and not out on a group date.
4.  Do not go to any secluded areas. Even if you want to be alone, remember that you are on a date with someone you have no idea about. Yeah he tells you what he does for a living and blah.. blah… blah.. , but how do you really know? Give yourself a chance to really get to know  him out before you take his word for everything and before he takes you to his parents house on the beach.
5. Pay attention to your gut feeling. You don’t want to be kicking yourself later on if you didn’t listen to it when it told you that this guy was no good, and now you are stuck in a big complete mess.  This is hard to do because people tend to fall in love with a profile, not a person online and your intuition may be foggy because of it.

the bottom line for being safe on any online dating site or app is this:

Let someone know you’re going out with someone new, tell them where you’re going, and set a time for them to check in on you and make sure you’re okay.  You should never feel bad for putting your safety first, even if it means you have to do something that feels rude.