2025: Unrealistic Body Image Finally Enters The Chat

We live in a culture that praises weight loss. The message we’re sending is that you only look good because you lost weight.
Fat phobia- because of our intent, we perpetuate diet culture, and fat phobia when we compliment someone on their smaller body. Our society praises weight loss as if it’s the best thing a person could ever do. Not only that, but we comment on people’s bodies without having any idea what is going on in their lives.

Last week Jennifer Love Hewitt made more women in their 40s so happy that someone in Hollywood actually looks like them. She didn’t run off to use ozempic and she didn’t go ahead and do a crazy-ass diet. She is what women are SUPPOSED to look like and she was so proud of her body!

We “assume” that their weight loss is “positive”, when it could be due to a chronic illness or an eating disorder. All unsolicited comments about someone’s body are bad and shouldn’t be praised because no one asked for them. Even if someone asks, we shouldn’t even give them one when actually we should take it a step further and tell people that they don’t want to receive those comments.

We should be telling people to focus on who that person is not by what that person looks like. If only people did this on social media.

Social media is the perfect environment, unfortunately, where the diet culture flourishes. It thrives on comments from men who think they know that certain bodies are “better and hotter” than others. Yes, guys who are losing their hair, have beer bellies, droopy chests and butts, are telling women that they all need to look like a goddamn Barbie doll, when they themselves are so far away from representing Ken.

Women who already have suffered from a body image disorder, get triggered by those comments and now are drawn back into the diet culture. And for what? To please all the men who you don’t know on social media, who basically have their own insecurities about their own looks and projected on women?

The sad reality is, if you look on social media and even dating apps, all men want this fantasy woman who is 5 feet tall 5 inches, 130 pounds, size 2, blonde hair, and blue eyes, who accepts bare minimum, and who could pass for either a Victoria’s Secret model or a Barbie doll. What they don’t realize is that a woman’s looks is never going to raise their children. Her mindset will.

Men never focus on who a woman really is, speaking in terms of her personality, mentality, and character. But they only focus on how hot she looks so his teammates, and friends can be extremely jealous of his arm candy.

Oh, once you hit 35 and you’re a woman you’re old and decrepit according to social media.

If only men could stop being, “so full of themselves,” and stop trying to “fit in” focusing on loving a woman for who they truly are. But instead, they don’t want to embrace that main character energy. They wanna focus on what isn’t instead of what is.

I guess the question really is this : do we really want to spend our lives agonizing over trying to make others happy instead of making each day we live the best days we’ve ever had? When are we going to realize that nobody at your funeral is going to say the following: “ I remember so-and-so, she was a size 4 all her life, she was always so skinny, she was always looking hot and beautiful, etc”

They are going to remember how you made others feel, how you lived life and the kindness you showed others . That’s a life worth remembering.

It’s a Waste Of Money To Shop At VS

If you are a woman, you probably have shopped or still shop at Victoria’s Secret. And if you are like me, you are tired of wasting money buying their panties that no longer seem to be made with good quality material. You buy it, wear it twice, and then have to throw it out because washing them has now made them shrink to the point where they are unwearable.
I was on the mission to find other sexy, lacy, cute and comfortable panties, and I think I did.

The brand that I found to be reasonably priced, comfortable, sexy and cute is Auden which is sold in Target.
The other brand is SO by Kohl’s as you will see in this video -> CIick here to watch it

“Where the skies meet the soul

Poetry is important because it allows individuals to express complex emotions creatively, connect with others through shared experiences, enhance language awareness by playing with words and imagery, ignite imagination, and deepen understanding of culture and history through its unique use of language and form.
I have been writing it for YEARS! Even won the Editor’s Award for writing poetry.
Here are 3 of my top poems that I would like to share- they describe feelings that I felt a while back and as someone told me, they are powerful. But then again, Words are powerful.

YOU MUST LOVE ME

I’m sorry that I’m an inconvenience to your so perfect unhappy life.

I should have thought twice before I let you in to play.

You might as well have raped me like a beast,

For I let you feast on me for free.

My innocence is gone.

I have nothing to believe.

Now instead you want me dead!

But honey, I’m already dead!

When you drained all of my happiness from me!

My stamina for life has stuttered, unwillingly.

Maybe this means that you must love me.

Should I celebrate in the joy,

That I was once your favorite toy?

Should I just forget about making amends?

And just return to the corner of your mind until you wish to play with me again?

You’re so pathetic, you ungrateful piece of crap!

Tell me, don’t you remember all the times when I had your back?

You think it’ll be so easy to pack up all the memories,

But you have no respect or concern for me and it shows.

You love the fact that you’ve made me miserable.

Because only you can become a hero and rescue me from destructing.

Go ahead, you might as well try to resuscitate my limp body,

And breathe new life into me.

Maybe this means that you must love me.

Should I rejoice, in your choice?

To break me down even more to the ground that I am?

Well my friend,

Here I go again;

Maybe my mind’s playing tricks.

I hope that is it.

Or maybe this means that you must love me.

DO WHAT I GOTTA DO

Its a shame that you don’t even have an open mind.

You see the love I found, you see that I’m happy,

But you still want to take me down.

I know what I want, I know what I need.

I’ll do what I gotta do. I’ll be me and you be you.

You see that he loves me and can’t understand why.

I’m not a waif or a princess and I ain’t mighty high.

I am just the girl who lives next door. And that makes you even more boiling with envy.

You think that you can get the last laugh,

And torture me with your mighty words.

You think you are about to put me in my place,

But you hide behind others and can’t even show your face.

You hatin’ hard tryin’ to get attention,

Honey, I can see right through you,

There’s no way to copy this girl, I’m an original.

Your jealousies

Give it up, save your breath,

You thought I would wave my flag,

You underestimated me.

I know what I want and I know what I need.

I’ll do what I gotta do.

I’ll be me and you be you.

I may be bent, but I ain’t broken.

Trust me, my final words have yet to be spoken.

You’re about to see me in your dreams tonight.

It will give you quite the fright.

It may make you lose your mind.

Trust me, karma ain’t gonna be kind.

You messed with the wrong girl,

Now I’m about to give your world quite a twirl.

I’m strong and I’m a fighter,

And all you are a one good stinkin’ liar.

I know what I want and I know what I need.

I’ll do what I gotta do.

I’ll be me and you be you.

Skin

I do my best with soap and water.

I even scrub under my nails.

But it does no good when you are in my system.

You are a germ that just won’t go away.

You are in every inch of my skin.

Okay, you win!

So I have no choice,

There’s no reason to fight.

So I guess it’s destiny saying,

You should be part of my life.

But first,

I think you should remove the knife,

You carelessly placed in my side.

But all you care about is your pride.

You know that I can’t fight the feelings I have for you,

But yet, you won’t do anything about it.

Except all you do is keep me hanging on,

Wondering when you will take that first step.

Honey, I understand that you have a rep,

But please, quit acting so boyish.

Be a man, become my man,

Tonight.

You are in every inch of my skin,

For that you may think that you already win.

But I have ideas that creep inside my head.

Actually, this germ I have will one day spread,

Into your body, mind and soul.

It will haunt you.

It will taunt you.

And after it does everything to you the same as it has done to me,

You’ll see,

No soap or water will be ever able to get rid of me.

Claim Your Spot in 2025

If you aren’t following me on IG.. on the right is the QR code to do so. IF you can’t scan it you can always go into the search engine on Instagram and type in my profile.
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I will be doing a crowdfunding event this spring with some great packages/prizes, so also look at for that too!

Thanks for reading and for your support. It means A LOT to me!

The Trend That Needs To End in 2025

Happy 2025 readers and fans!

We made it through another holiday season and I hope yours was a good one. Mine was quite busy. Between running my businesses, trying to branch out, holiday gatherings and going to basketball games to watch my nephew and niece play, it was hectic!
The one trend we see on social media every single new year is the one where folks use the stupid quote, “New Year, New Me,” and then manage to be the EXACT SAME person all 365 days of the new year. So, with that said, I am going to ask, can we just stop that nonsense? Seriously, what is wrong with folks thinking that they have to automatically change who they are because it’s a new year? Aren’t you proud of who you are?
Now, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to IMPROVE yourself, but this concept that we have to all “change” ourselves COMPLETELY is absurd.

You don’t need to compare yourself and your journey in life to anyone else. And on social media so many people do that. She is skinnier, he is buffer, she is more successful, he is climbing the ladder, etc. Everyone’s journey in life is unique. And everyone’s life purpose is different. It would be VERY boring if everyone thought the same, dressed the same, acted the same, etc.

And maybe some folks posted up their big accomplishments and you feel you couldn’t post yours because they were not as big… to that I say this:
Every little victory you had in 2024 is important. It leads you to appreciate the bigger things and it helps you see that you can accomplish whatever it is you set out to do. So if your “only” accomplishment in 2024 was that you survived the year, you did it and be proud.

TO quote something I read recently, “Even though it’s great to have big goals, it’s easy to get caught up in the daunting list you have yet to accomplish. Instead of growing fixated on those, you should try to spend some time giving yourself credit for the things you do accomplish on a daily basis.”

One thing we all have control over is our mindset. Your mindset is what makes things happen and makes you tick. A positive, growth-oriented mindset can help you overcome challenges, achieve goals, and build resilience, while a negative mindset can hinder your progress and make difficulties seem insurmountable.
So, in 2025 if there is one thing that you can change for the better, it is your mindset. You can accomplish WONDERFUL things when you believe in infinite possibilities. And that starts with believing in yourself.

At the end of the day, some folks need to step aside that ego and really look within themselves so that they too can be “better.” It’s not that they aren’t good people, it’s that their mindset isn’t set on having them realize what is holding them back from accomplishing their goals and accomplishing their dreams. We all can be a little nicer to everyone in 2025. We can face our insecurities head-on and show more compassion and empathy.

But if our mindset isn’t where is should be, that is a hard thing to just flip a switch out of the blue. It takes time to do this.

We talk about change each new year, instead let’s talk about mindset. That’s something EVERYONE can focus on and in turn become “better” people. Unlike fixed traits, your mindset is something you can actively work on and change through conscious effort. When you put forth effort, things happen. We can change our mind and our lives, once we change our mindset.

I Bet You Didn’t See This One Coming

I was planning on releasing a book in the late fall/early winter in 2 parts… but then I got thinking. I can’t really release it until after the trail with the junior hockey players sexual assault case is over… so that gives me PLENTY of time to write that part, but here…

I plan to flip the script and release an album instead.

Here are the tracks:

Selfish
Undone
The Boy Is Divine
Better Than Revenge
Goalies Aren’t the only ones who wear masks
Sister Fate
How to Paint Sunlight
Ryan’s Hope
Shenanigans
Showman Dan
Alice
Mr. Authenticity
Bitter Cold
Karma
Just Be A Man About It
Sheila
Suddenly, I hate you
When a Boy Becomes A Man
Bangers
Backyard
What You Need
23
Skin
You Must Love Me
Obviously Fascinated
Mess For You
Player
What Goes Around Comes Around

I am still deciding which track to release first, but that will come very soon!

Stay tuned…


Did ya understand that?

The Gaudreau brothers were cycling on a road in Oldmans Township on Thursday, Aug. 29, 2024, when a man driving an SUV in the same direction attempted to pass two other vehicles and struck them from behind at about 8 p.m., according to New Jersey State Police. They were pronounced dead at the scene.

Police said the driver, 43-year-old Higgins, was suspected of being under the influence of alcohol and charged with two counts of death by auto, along with reckless driving, possession of an open container and consuming alcohol in a motor vehicle.

Higgins told a responding officer he had five or six beers prior to the crash and admitted to consuming alcohol while driving, according to the criminal complaint obtained by The Associated Press. He failed a field sobriety test, the complaint said,

According to court records, Higgins had two prior cases in North Carolina during the early 2000s. The records show he was charged with DWI in 2005 but the charges were voluntarily dismissed due to the officer involved not showing up in court. Higgins also had a speeding ticket in 2001 that was dismissed because of his good driving record at the time.

The irony is that Higgins was an employee at Gaudenzia, a nonprofit drug and alcohol treatment center, at the time of the crash. He has since been placed on leave by the organization. So you know, he knew full well not to get behind the wheel, but he did it anyway because he got away with it in 2001 and 2005.

Footnote: NBC Philadelphia 

The entire NHL community has been grieving since August 29th. Well, almost everyone.

As I said, in a podcast out of 22 members of the New York Rangers only 4 players showed empathy and compassion by taking the NHLPA post and throwing it into their story and then maybe adding RIP or hearts. So many other players from every other team has shown respect to the Gaudreau family. 

The NHL pride’s itself that it’s a brotherhood yet it is far from my brotherhood . it’s only a brotherhood when they’re sexism involved , or homophobia and racism. Most players only pick and choose what they’re going to show empathy towards what they’re going to show compassion for… and unfortunately, a lot of of them are narcissistic, arrogant and completely out of touch with the world. 

The fact that MLB and NFL teams and players were classy enough to have a moment of silence or post about it, and some NHL players couldn’t even take the time to create an Instagram story or post something on TwitterX  shows you everything that you need to know about the league.

It should not matter if they were ever teammates, they even talked off the ice, he was part of the exact league that you are playing in. 

When Kobe Bryant passed away from that plane crash everyone in the NBA showed their compassion and their empathy. Even folks from the NHL, and MLB and NFL. Because it’s not that difficult to take your phone, go on a social media app, and post that. There’s no excuse. 

But it doesn’t surprise me in today society how not even just athletes are out of touch with the world, but everybody’s been out touch with the world.  People hate you for being authentic and speaking your truth instead of being fake and people pleasing. 

People don’t like boundaries, they want to use you as much as they can use you and then when they’re done with you, they just discard  you like you are trash. People also hate being called out, when someone points out said truth. The reason that people get so triggered is because they’ve been living a lie and living a lie is better than facing the truth. And what I mean by that is the fact that people will give athletes an excuse for how they are and who they are. They will give people in their community excuses for how they act, what they say about others, and how they go about their daily lives.

People today have no qualms about showing their insecurity, their jealousy and their envy, simply because somebody else’s light is brighter than theirs. Instead of celebrating those people, rooting for those people, they try to tear them down.

Just yesterday we had another school shooting, and it wouldn’t surprise me if social media played a part in that. You go on social media and people are trying to tear people down, bully other people, and not accept the fact that instead of asking questions about certain things, they judge them like they’re all high and mighty when they’re not even close to being that way. Nobody and I repeat nobody, including myself is better than anybody else. We are all imperfectly perfect.. we all have discrepancies. We all have flaws. And we all have strengths. That’s what makes us human. Unfortunately we don’t treat each other as human beings. 

People today don’t give a rats ass about anybody else other themselves. Of course young people today think they know it all and they have nothing to learn from anybody else because they know it all. When they’re just growing and evolving. And they’re afraid of doing that. Because that means they have to step into their authenticity and step away from having the fake life on social media where people give them reinforcing attention. 

I mean, let’s be real getting attention on social media is kind of fun. I get it. But life was so much easier and different before social media even existed. There’s some positives of social media. You make new friends on social media. You can network with other like-minded business individuals. You can put yourself out there. But there has to be some accountability. And I feel that if somebody has the nerve to try to dim your light, you have every single right to call them out on it. The old saying is true, if you’re gonna dish, then you gotta take it. 

That especially goes for the people that like to stalk other peoples accounts,  claim that they’re not stalking them, but they’re not following those specific people and then they talk about them like they know them and trash them. Lying about me won’t change the truth about you.  

One thing about me is that I will never go through life playing small, being silent, and being accommodating for everybody else.  I will never water myself down to make me more digestible for you. If I trigger you in any sort of fashion, that’s on you. Sometimes those who shine brightly always trigger those that rather live in darkness. 

So if I’m ever a bitch to you, did you forget that I was nice and nice and nice and nice…. Then I was a bitch? 

One thing I’ve learned during transforming my life over the last few years is that me being nice always got me disrespected, ran over and stressed out.  I’m not nice. I’m a good person and there’s a difference. People are afraid to get to know someone like that so they’d rather hate on them first instead of learning who they are because then in turn,  makes you a better person. God forbid we become better human beings. 

We can always learn from others so always be teachable. If you’re not then you’re afraid to evolve and you’re afraid to grow and you’re afraid to learn. 

The one take away I take from Meredith and Johnny’s relationship  from seeing all the photos is that they BOTH posted up on each other. They look at each other in every single one of those pictures with so much love in their eyes which  makes this even more heartbreaking. That’s the type of relationship that I want. That’s the type of relationship that everybody strives to have but sometimes is intimidated to have because it means being emotionally drawn to each other and being vulnerable and today people cannot be those two things. 

If anything, these types of heartbreaking situations are lessons for us to learn from. 

Life is short. It doesn’t come with the a set of instructions. It doesn’t come with the road map.. but it does come with moments that should be cherished and moments that should be enjoyed. We weren’t put on this earth to bicker with each other and fight with each other. We were put on this earth to help each other, to love each other and to realize that one of the greatest gifts is empathy and to understand that somehow mysteriously, we are all connected to each other. ❤️‍🩹

When Fiction Becomes Non Fiction

Here I am, trying to change the culture of the #NHL AND get a written policy protecting women of sexual assault/domestic abuse and these authors continue to use hockey players in their plots. AND then expose its graphic content to actual hockey players which makes it seem okay.
There are 4 books “Ice Breaker,” “Collide,” “Cocky Score,” and, “Unsteady” that recently got my attention.
So, since the authors of these books did not do their research, let me enlighten folks for a moment. I don’t want to her well these ladies “just wrote a story,” that is gaslighting and then deferring responsibility and accountability. That is also saying that what I am doing is not valid. Writing a book and using a hockey player in the way they have in their books, makes it ten times harder to try and change the culture let alone try and get a written policy because no one sees or thinks what they are doing isn’t right. For example, In “Ice Breaker,” women want to read about romance, they want to be swept up so to speak, but what they actually find that all the sex starts to get in the way of the romance as it becomes more and more gratuitous, and THAT is part of the HOCKEY CULTURE! Safe to say I am not happy with this representation and the ideas it gives hockey players, let alone women.
Then of course, “Cocky Score,” which the title ALONE yells HOCKEY CULTURE! the female character is ridiculously shy and quiet; the male character is stoic and overly confident. Why do we think this type of romance novel is STILL okay?
In “Collide,” there was barely any hockey but this was a friends with benefits type romance which, doesn’t send a great message to women and sends the wrong message to men. In the book, “Unsteady,” the spicy scenes were not pleasant, i found myself cringing a lot while reading them and all I could think about was how unpleasant it must have been for that women who was raped by the World’s Junior Team. This comes off as a gentle romance between two people who are floundering in bad relationships and need to find real love- something that hockey culture can relate too, is the fact that the men of the NHL put themselves in “bad relationships” only to think cheating is the way to solve them.

What do these books have to do with the NHL?

These books portray women in a bad light and justify a hockey players actions they take. Now, there is no rape, sexual abuse, or domestic violence in these books, but the fact that they all portray hockey players as hypermasculine and using sexual relationships as a way of saying that is “romantic” is obscene. SEX has NOTHING to do with ROMANCE. We need to STOP having even female characters of novels put into uncomfortable situations and that it’s okay to sexualize women, especially in hockey.

In the NHL, you have women who get sexually harassed either by being a fan or even working in the league, which is highly male-dominated. Did you know that the front office of the NY Rangers, is only 6% female and that there were NO females that were on the draft floor this past June- as for MANY teams in the NHL. And just recently the Seattle Kraken hired Jessica Campbell, as an asst coach which sent social media into a sexism frenzy?

This is another reason why I am fighting to have the National Hockey League ( NHL) to have a policy in place to protect all wives, girlfriends, and staff of NHL teams against these crimes that DO HAPPEN IN THEIR LEAGUE!

Not only am I talking about rape and sexual abuse, but let’s not forget about domestic violence,, which has occurred within the NHL. According to National Domestic Violence Hotline, Over 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.

The hockey culture and how they treat women is disgusting! The social aspect of the sport supports issues related to misogyny, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia. Let me also add that there is a HIGH number of hockey players who cheat on their wives/girlfriends by having a second phone with a different number and using trainers/staff to hide it. So when we are ready a “love story” as in the book Unsteady, take it with a grain a salt.
In the book, “Ice Breaker” the question is asked, “She could never like a hockey player, right? ” These books portray a “Steamy Hockey Romance,” but what these authors don’t get is this:

An anonymous quote from a hockey player on how the culture continues because whatever is SAID in the locker room, stays there. ( Same concept as VEGAS)
“There’s stuff that happens in the dressing room, obviously, talking about girls, parties, whatever is the case, that happens in there, that sort of stays in there for the most part. Well, on good teams it stays in there. Whether it’s who you’re hooking up with, if you got sent pictures from some girl, everyone sees them. So it stays in the dressing room and it’s a team builder. It’s not to embarrass people in front of the outside world.”

THIS ONLY GETS WORSE:
This locker room culture in THE NHL encourages and rewards particular performances of masculinity. And players who don’t adhere to implicit and explicit organizational expectations risk being ostracized.

If authors intend to use hockey players as the main characters for their books, can they learn to separate sex from romance and can the women NOT be reduced to mere love interests for the male protagonists and nothing more?

Mind Over Matter

Yes- the rumors are true! My book, “The Championship Mindset” has been published and you can purchase it ONLY here (C lick here) Barnes and Noble dot com!
A champion mindset is a mindset that allows you to perform your best. Anyone that works on adopting this mindset will not only get better at what they do, but they will have the chance to be the best at what they do. Mindset is the biggest factor in success. Your mindset impacts each and every decision that you take. Whether you are an athlete or not, you can acquire The Championship Mindset!

A CONTEST / GIVEAWAY is coming soon!

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Boss Moves Only

My new book, “The Championship Mindset” is available for download now on my teachers pay teachers site. Click the photo to go directly to the site to purchase!

The paperback/workbook will be available by the end of the month.

A champion mindset is a mindset that allows you to perform your best. Anyone that works on adopting this mindset will not only get better at what they do, but they will have the chance to be the best at what they do. Mindset is the biggest factor in success. Your mindset impacts each and every decision that you take.

The first episode of the podcast is out too! You can listen for free!

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