Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

A Theory On Men

Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy.  It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.

Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.

There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.

Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!

In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Can We Stop Harassing Women Who Love Sports?

Although millions of women have experience playing sports and many millions more are fans of sports, women are still looked down upon when they talk about sports. And when they do, men still persistently question their qualifications.

First thing all women who love sports have to deal with is that we ONLY love the sport for how “good looking” the men are. Now, unfortunately some girls tweet and post about how “hot” an athlete looks so all girls and women are thrown into this category and even if we actually enjoy the sport for what it is, and make a comment on how handsome a guy looks, that’s it; we all are told that is the REAL reason we love football or hockey. (Especially those 2 sports)

I don’t know how to break this to you guys out there but it’s pretty much impossible to see the faces or the abs of football players as they’re bolting across my TV or device. And hockey players… have so much padding on them, plus a helmet with a visor, that it’s impossible to judge their “hotness” as they quickly skate up and down the rink. If girls wanted to look at cute guys, they would probably watch a soap opera or a music video or sex website, not athletes covered in so much gear that they’re barely recognizable.

Then we have to deal with questions like, “Your boyfriend, dad or your brothers got you into liking football or hockey, right?” For some reason, it’s hard for some guys to wrap their brains around the fact that a woman can turn on a TV or find a sport and find a game all on her own. I can tell you for a fact that no one in my family introduced me to NY Rangers hockey… I found it, got into it, and love it all by my little self.

Another thing that guys don’t seem to understand is that you can be a fan of a sport without knowing every player’s statistics. If you claim to like , the Yankees for example, then guys bombard me with questions about the players and even when I know all of the answers., these guys STILL won’t let up!
Listen, we don’t quiz men on your Shakira knowledge so why should they quiz us on sports?

My favorite though is insisting that I am an airhead, because I am a female fan.

Another doozy is that if you like a team that just so happens to be doing well, you’re going to be accused of liking them because it’s trendy. ( We get that in NY a lot)

Let me tell you that I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a hockey jersey to impress ANY guy! Most women watch sports, because they actually enjoy them. They don’t have an ulterior motive. Sorry that you feel so incredibly insecure about yourself to even think that.

Also, if a girl likes a certain player that you hate, that doesn’t give you the right to bully, harass, or shame someone for THEIR love for that particular player. People need to realize that not EVERY post needs your comment on it – just as in real life you wouldn’t engage in every conversation you would come in contact with same applies online.
I hate it when people bash players online and then also think they can bash their families and the fans who like them. I will go after you on that, as being an athlete is hard enough, let alone having people bash them who by the way are buying tickets to watch. Most fans couldn’t even survive on the field or ice past the 1st shift/1 series.

Finally, this is what one guy I spoke too about what he thought about women enjoying sports had to say, “I’m a competitive cyclist and if a girl can keep up with me on a mid-paced weekend ride I’m pretty much in love.”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Just Ask Her Out Already… and other relationship ramblings

I love it when guys go: “She’s never gonna go out with me!” Hey dude, did it ever occur to you to just ASK her? Stop playing games and the negative mindset and ask her.
Guys today play the double edge sword game: They want to STILL be the ones to ask the girl out in 2022 BUT then you hear that they “don’t mind” having a girl ask them out.
Um, which one is it? Seriously.

I don’t want to hear that women who ask guys out are aggressive and intimating. Girls who ask a guy out are doing themselves the biggest favor. They are picking out a male human being who they like, as opposed to hoping for the right guy to come along and ask them out – which is a very passive, and a sometimes doomed way to approach the whole dating game. It does not matter if guys say no. It is not going to kill you. The same approach should be seen for guys. IF she says no, SO WHAT? Move the fuck on. Go find another girl and ask her out. The idea that your “ego” is going to be hurt is ridiculous when the fact is that you are WASTING time and energy ” hoping” she will say yes and you are wasting feelings on someone who wasn’t meant to be in your path.
Some guys stay single for years cause they’re too afraid of rejection to ask women out, when they can be just as afraid of rejection as women.

The expectations around dating are bullshit. Laying it all out on the line is a pretty good turn on if you ask me. But still in 2022, young people are told to follow “rules” that really they should not be following anymore. For starters, Girls taking the initiative to ask boys out directly contradicts everything we know about gender roles in relationships. She is making the first romantic overtures and asking the man to go out drinks, lunch, dinner, etc. This is still taboo because when a woman takes charge of anything, she’s automatically coded as masculine, because she is allegedly taking the man’s role. Women shouldn’t fear being masculine because it shouldn’t have any impact on their womanhood whatsoever. Sometimes waiting for guys to do something it is like waiting for someone to finally nail jello to a tree, meaning it never happens. The entire human race could have died out years ago if women sat around always waiting for a guy to make up his mind and ask her out.

But I get why most women don’t ask guys out: Women are discouraged from pursuing men because that suggests impatience or force. Women are seen as desperate or needy when that is far from the truth. Much of men’s authority in relationships is derived from having the final say on relationship decisions. If you want your relationship to start out on the right foot and be sure that you have a “real man,” you should wait for him to ask you out. Or at least, that’s the message we send out today. Again, I will repeat myself: Women LOVE men who are controlling but we don’t like men who try to control us- there’s a difference. Having a guy control a situation and stand up for us, support us, want the best for us, etc … that shit is real. But having a guy control who we CAN be, who we are, is not cool at all.

Bottom line: 1- there are no “leagues” when it comes to dating. Don’t think that ANY guy or girl is “outta your league” that is NOT a positive self-image to have for yourself.
2- While most men have been conditioned to always make the first move, some men would actually appreciate taking the back seat once in a while. To them, it is in fact refreshing and a huge compliment to have a girl ask them out for a change. (Those are not the cocky, narcissistic, petty guys, those are the real men (hockey players) that know it’s a compliment for a girl to ask him out) 3- Just as we ladies HATE it when men play games with us, the more straightforward we are the better. Sometimes we think we need to drop lots of hints to show that we want to ask them out. However, the best approach is to just be very clear about it for example by saying, “I would love if I take you out for a drink, coffee, lunch, dinner…” Hints and signs will not get us anywhere with men. 4- If there is a girl that you have your eye on guys, ASK HER OUT. Just do it. Stop playing scenarios in your head and ask her- you really don’t have anything to lose. Seriously.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Every Summer Has A Story

Its that time of year again when I am reminded that, “”In every girl’s life, there’s a boy she’ll never forget & a summer when it all began.” Love may start in Spring, but it evolves in Summer.

For me, I can remember way back when to the first summer love I had, in fifth grade. His name was Michael. He was the new boy in class and at first I did not like him at all. (Love/Hate relationships are always intense) He would drive me absolutely crazy by constantly shaking his pen when it ran out of ink. (Like shaking your pen is going to help!) So I came up with an idea to write him a note and tell him just how annoying he truly was. The only problem was that his older cousin was in eighth grade and when she found out that I wrote him a note and told him that if he didn’t stop it, I was going to then throw my pen at him, she kindly told me to cut it out.

And that is when the romance began.

We got to know each other so much so that he even sang to me at lunch one of those inappropriate George Michael songs. Once June came around and school was out, that is when our romance really took off. He would call me and we would hang out, but sadly like every fling, things ended the following year. Okay, so that is not necessarily a summer romance, and yeah, I was eleven, but its got to start somewhere for everyone.

Years later, when I was a junior going to be a senior in high school, that is when another “Mike” came into the picture. He was one year older than me and would visit his best friend who lived near me. That is when I came up with a dance group with all the girls that lived in my neighborhood and they danced my choreography that I created to all the hot songs of the 90’s. He would sit in his car and watch. When I would walk by his car he would stare and smile at me, and I literally felt like I was going to melt!

This particular story brings up even more memories that I won’t get into now, but trust me, some of those memories I am fond of while others are heartbreaking.

So what is the deal with summer, romance, flings, and love?

The summer time is when love seems to rear its head and capture our imagination. During the summer, we feel free, we feel the promise of being able to forget what has happened so far and the promise of starting over. Its a time when also, people want to show off all the winter weight they have lost, so people are actually more attractive in the summer then any other season.

The other reason why the summer time brings out the beast called love is because we get to meet people we never have seen before. Do you all remember the movie, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” and ho she met her fling, turned romance while on vacation? (Yes, its just a movie, but it does really happen!) We are more open to being impulsive, the sunshine is also brighter, we are happier, and the chance of turning a hot day into a steamy night is greater.

Ever hear the saying, “Live it up?” During the summer, that is mostly everyone’s motto.

So how can you have a summer fling turned romance?

The number one way is to GET OFF YOUR PHONE and GO OUT and enjoy life. Seriously, we are becoming too attached to shopping for humans with a swipe of a thumb that when we are out in our every day world, we don’t look at people as potential dating partners at all. We could be passing up a wonderful person and not really even realize that!
Yes, if you met someone even on Twitter, take that relationship offline.
There’s BBQs, bonfires, beaches, lakes, boardwalks, street fairs, etc. the point being is that everyone is outdoors doing their thing, why aren’t you out there flirting it up?

Get adventurous. Do something that you usually don’t do. Put yourself in a situation where you have to meet people- cross something off your bucket list. There are road trips, parks, and places that you can meet folks inside and outside.

Do you have someone in mind that you would like to even possibly date in the summer; this is the TIME TO ASK HIM/HER out! The summer time is the best time to get to know someone since mostly EVERYONE is more relaxed and less stressed. SO go for it… ask that person out. Now, speaking as a female, I prefer to have the guy ask me out, (been there, done that asking a guy out thing) and I am to the one to do the flirting first thing.

If really want the summer fling to last and turn it into the romance of your year or ultimately the one you end up with forever, the two things you need to remember are:

You need to express how you feel. There seems to be some unwritten rule that says summer flings have an expiration date and that we just assume the romance needs to be over with. But if you don’t ask or tell the person how you feel, you may actually be letting go of the person you were meant to be with forever!

The second thing you need to do is include him/her into your everyday after-summer- is -over life. He/She needs to see you, talk to you,when the beach days are over with and the colder weather starts to creep on in. But lets not dwell on this yet, for the summer is only starting and the promise of romance is in the air!

Two cheers to the summer and the potential of remembering a summer that began with a look, a smile, and a kiss.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

For Sale: A Little Black Dress

In 2022 we all still having dating backwards and confused about “rules” we each have to follow. Men are told that they are the hunters and that they have to hunt based on superficial things. While women are seen as pieces of meat and can’t be aggressive, independent or self-sufficient. Women “need” a man, they can not just “want” a man.
Men can’t call or text a girl he likes after the first date for about three days, because that will make him seems “overzealous” and “too interested,” (God forbid he seems interested in her!) Also, a man needs to use a lame pick up line in order to start a damn freaking conversation, because they ain’t built that way! Heaven Forbid they have a regular conversation with a girl and then at the end of the conversation, give her his number!? Women can not make the first move, because that is a “man’s” job and she can not me too independent because the man is suppose to “provide” for her.
This here lies the problem: Why are folks so freaking caught up in “rules” and looking to Tiktok and Instagram for “dating advice” when the answer is seriously easy?

I’m going to give you the secret to why all the good women are still single and how a guy screws this up time and time again. Ready for the secret? Okay.

If guys would seriously STOP with their unrealistic view that women have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, y’all wouldn’t be single today. First off, the difference between a woman who acts fake and is real is so easy to tell – too bad most men are illiterate and can’t read. If a woman ONLY cares about how much money you spend on her on a date, where you take her, if you buy her gifts (or don’t) then she is NOT into you for the RIGHT reason. But if a woman enjoys your company, wants to have light conversations with you, doesn’t expect you to pay for EVERYTHING and is her goofy self right off the bat, then that is who she REALLY is and you should EMBRACE that!

The problem with guys is that they want to girl who “needs” them, not the girl who “wants” them and yeah, there is a BIG difference. Men who think it’s there “duty” to take care of her with everything, almost all the time choose the wrong partner while the man who chooses the girl who wants him, supports him and appreciates him is not the girl chosen half the time. Men who treat women as pieces of meat are the guys who are out there that complain about women. Women complain about men and their attitudes and the fact that they think they are the prey and can’t go after a guy or have to be a with a guy who is going to “take care of her” –

Women today don’t need a man to take care of them – we need a man who is going to just be himself, support us, as we support him, cheer him on, as he cheers us on, and just love being with us – period.

I’m so tired of having to pretend to be “needy” and need a hero to save me when in fact I’m my own hero, I can save myself. That shouldn’t be something that a man should be intimidated with, but instead celebrate. At the end of the day, we girls just want to be looked at as real people, not the ones who need the little black dress to seduce you into thinking that we are a fantasy, but that no matter if we are a size 2 or a size 12, have blonde hair or black hair, if we have a big butt or a small one, we are worth it and valued for our character and our personality. Looks fade, but that other shit lasts forever. If you want that woman who is going to love you regardless, and who is going to treat you right, then start focusing on what really matters. I am sure then you will find yourself a girl that a keeper.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Standards vs Fantasy

When it comes to dating and relationships, why are women ruled by standards while the men are ruled by fantasy?

When ever you are online whether it be, a dating app or social media, all that you see are women with memes, quotes, or posts that claim that they are looking for a specific type of guy that is loyal, caring, compassionate, and so forth. While on the other side of the coin, you see men gawking over how “hot” a woman is or how “hot” a woman needs to be. She needs a big tits, a booty like J-Lo, and curves like the Next Top Model.
Why are women accused of having high standards when it seems as if the men out there have superficial standards?

Writing about relationships for over 15 years I have literally seen it all. Well, that was until Instagram was born. And you now can see that guys, particularly NFL athletes, do not know the difference between a private relationship where people know you are together, they just don’t know your business. Instead it’s the secret relationship, where they never talk about who they are with, letting other girls/women think they have a chance with them, hoping the next “hottie” slides into their DM’s. Regular guys that want to follow suit, yes, model this behavior, have entered the conversation. This behavior is “celebrated” by other guys as I noted in my podcast last week, makes me lose faith that there are guys and NFL athletes for that matter, that really, truly, understand what love is and wants something rare with one woman. Are there guys out there, NFL athletes that want to build something together with that one woman who wants to see them be successful, do they want a woman who will stand by her man especially when the world is against him?

There is a saying, “Behind every successful man, there is a strong woman that helped him get there.”

For a woman to help her man be successful and stay successful, she must have the same winning temperament and at the same time have the love and respect for her man enough to let him shine in public. Such a great woman shares the same vision about the future as her man. Both speaks the same language of leadership, value, and mission. There is an unbreakable bond between a successful man and his woman. No one can come between them. A woman can be behind a man’s success, have impact on him: motivate him, support him, sacrifice for him so he can shine, but is this idea an old concept, like chivalry dying?

Do men in general, not just NFL athletes, only want the arm candy and to sleep with as many girls as humanly possible? Or do these guys realize the power of having a strong woman or are they seriously intimidated by one?

(part 2….. )

Here is the podcast: CLICK LINK

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Good Girls, Bad Boys, Nice Guys, to Bad Girls

Here is part 2 of the preview “Relationship Impossible”

Some guys have created this image of this “ideal” woman, so when regular women; regular, wonderful, real women fall short, they reject them. That way they never have to settle down and then everyone can still feel sorry about poor, lonely you.

I’m not saying that guys should just ‘settle” but they aren’t going to be happy if every time they discover a flaw in someone, they go to somebody else because every woman has her own flaws; no body is perfect. (And vice versa) Find that someone who makes you better, without trying to change who you are

Now before guys get their pants in a bunch, to be fair, I have seen guys do just this; they find a woman who is a down to Earth, “good woman” and then they find a flaw in her like, “Not pretty enough” or “too strong minded,” so this way they avoid commitment because to them the “bad girls” are more attractive than the “good ones.”

This is the reason that guys are hitting on girls on social media at a high rate and hooking up with girls left, center, and right on dating apps. They want the one and done relationships instead of the ones where they have to commit to one girl and “build a relationship” with her. That takes time, energy, effort and work.

Men find bad sexy because the things they plan on doing to bad women are likewise “naughty.” Bad is naughty and naughty is sexy. Good, on the other hand, sounds boring. Their definition of sexy is misinterpreted. And then of course, these same guys think that “bad girls” are better in bed than “good girls” which has been proven to be a myth. The “bad girl” that men are so taken by at times isn’t someone who is morally corrupt, but the challenge that a bad girl poses. One of the factors that makes a relationship with a bad girl fun yet short lived is the fact that most ‘bad girls’ ride big on the persona they create. Take a close look on Instagram and you will get a sense of which girls have created a “fake persona,” to gather attention, while the real, down to Earth girls show their true character online.

For a relationship to stay you need character. Personality is a superficial connect, whereas with character, you look for connection. So for a long term relationship, there has to be a shift from a superficial level to a deeper level – and that is why guys have to “test the road” with bad girls first before they settle down with a “good girl.”

Then there is the saying, “Nice guys finish last.”

The “nice” guy is the one who covers up his incompetence and lack of bravery by being patient and understanding. He’s not really being nice: like every single male on the planet, he wants sex with you, but he takes backdoor and windows to enter your kingdom. There are also those guys that fall into this category:

The too afraid to ask you out “nice guy” who will pass himself “ just a friend” in hopes that you will one day see how great he is, therefore, being the one who asks him out. Then he romances the hell out out of you in hopes that he no longer will be in the “friend zone” but moved to the “boyfriend zone.”

Of course the guy stuck in the friend zone will be thinking that the girl he has the hots for only wants to be with a, “bad boy.” You know the type: The “bad boys” that some women are attracted to are usually nothing more than punks, thugs, and assholes who believe that society’s rules do not apply to them. They are someone who do dangerously interesting stuff that differ from the so called boring everyday of expected routine behavior of other men.

If we say that “bad boys” are not outright criminals, but abusive, arrogant, manipulative men. Well, such men don’t usually show this side of their personality to a woman they want to attract. They are predators, their purpose is to attract potential “prey”, not to scare it off. Abusers and manipulators don’t appear as such until the “prey” has fallen into the trap. So, we cannot say that women are attracted to the abusers or manipulators as such. Women are attracted to the personality they want to show. The issue is actually that abusers and manipulators find it easier to appear confident and comfortable in their skin. On one hand, because they can play any role they want and usually have a lot of practice doing it. On the other hand, because they really don’t care about other people, they don’t really care if they succeed with one particular woman or not. They just move to the next target.

The majority of women are not attracted to “bad boys” because they are “bad”, but because it is easier for such men to make initial contact and take it from there. “Bad boy” romances, being more forbidden/against norm/full of regret stories/full of drama/etc, are simply better topics for gossip than a nice, normal, quiet, healthy romance- think about all the movies, TV shows, and books you have read and tell me which types people prefer. Of course, when you turn on Hallmark Channel, the girl always gets the boy she wants and the bad boy turns good at the end, which in reality is usually never the case.

Good girls, bad boys, nice guys, to bad girls, there is always going to be stereotypes of how people behave when it comes to sex, romance and relationships.

What it should always come down to is finding the right partner. One of the ways to do that is to find someone you can talk to. Being able to talk with your partner about important topics is probably worth more than physical beauty, money or power. You might disagree at times, but by being able to be open and honest with each other, leads you to fulfill what you want out of the relationship. When you make each other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled, the rest starts to fall into place. ( Part 3 coming soon…. )

You can purchase my best-selling book which was also nominated for Book of the Year, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid, 2nd Ed”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

When Is Enough, Enough.

Here we again in 2021, where a woman came forward back in 2016 that Jared Porter, the then head of scouting of The Cubs sent a woman reporter unsolicited text messages hitting on her at Yankees Stadium and asking her to go for a drink. The fact that she responded to his messages at first, to only allow him to carry on for 60 text messages and never respond with GET LOST allowed him to keep perusing her- because there she sent him mixed signals.

Here’s the difference between her and me, after I got text 1 and wasn’t interested I would have told him off nicely. If he continued then I would have had to get bitchy.
Then it was said that he sent her a picture of his penis ( or a stock image, who knows at this point)

Guys sending photos of their junk shows their inability to communicate maturely. Men think the photos will serve to arouse the woman – because they, themselves, would find it arousing if that woman sent such a photo to them. And believe me, there are women who do such things. Some people think this is a sign of predator behavior. And to those people I will say this: have you ever heard of Tinder? Even before Tinder guys have been doing this forever – Would you like to know how MANY of those dick pics I have gotten on Twitter?

This toxic culture has been in sports forever. Look at how athletes treat women. Look at how the leagues treat women. But more importantly, the women put up with being treated as sex-objects and don’t stand their ground. Time for women to step it up. This particular woman waited 5 years to allow this story to break. ESPN knew of this story a year after it happened but the woman did not want them to report it. SO why now? This is again, what women need to do: They can’t wait until it’s convenient for them to come forward, they must be brave enough to come forward when it happens. The only way to stop things is to stop it when it happens, not let it continue to stew. Let’s play devil’s advocate: What happens if Jared did this with another woman and because the first woman never came forward, this poor woman was sexually assaulted.

Back in college I was stalked by this guy. I had completely NO interest in him whatsoever. He liked to hang around a friend of mine back then. First he got my friend to give him my number. Then he invited himself to my house. He called my house. He spoke to my parents. He constantly bothered me. This went on for 2 weeks until I finally spoke up and told him to go away- that I wasn’t interested in him at all and I was not friends with him either. (Now, maybe folks know why I am totally against being set up… that’s a blog for another day!)

The point being, this could have gone on for months if I didn’t stand my ground, send him a clear signal that I was not interested in him at all, not let the pursuing continue. This is why ignoring someone is not the best method to deal with situations. Thinking that they will eventually “go away” is the wrong approach. Remember, you never know what someone’s breaking point is, and when you are dealing with emotions, you can’t just “let that slide.”

This does not fall on the men alone. Yes, men need to be better but women need to do better too. Women need to be able to send clear cut signals of NO means no. And men need to be able to receive that message and move on.

Look for the preview of my book, “Relationship Impossible” in the coming future.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Crazy Folks Are Found On Tinder

As I get my upcoming book in order, I had to go back on dating apps. Yikes! So Here are a couple “winners” I found as to what type of guy you find on dating apps, I mean hook up apps, like Tinder:

Bull, 38
Tall. Sane. Clean. Educated. Repectfully dominant and well eqipped. Thorough. Verbal, Love roleplay or fantasy. We only have 1 life to live. ( Sounds like someone who is looking for that girl who wants to hook up and just head on over to the bedroom, or hotel room and get some and then it’s onto the next.)

Leo, 41
Married dad looking for a submissive to have my way with. ( MARRIED… Hello? Do I need say more?)

Hammond, 41

Online dating is so hard when you’re a truthful person. I feel like it makes you savage and makes you jaded. Most don’t read the profile because all they are looking for is sex and I’m not on here for that. (Sounds like he is trying to sound like he’s not interested in hooking up but then why is he even on this app that is all about the hook up?)

Kevin, 34

6’3 = I’m taller than you! I’m not going to remember that I have this app about after 2 months, but message me and I’ll get an alerty and check it.
Giving this a try because Covid makes it impossible to meet people the old fashion way.
“You look so much cuter with something in your mouth” I hate Nickelback but once in awhile they get it right. ( So, Covid is making it impossible to meet people BUT yet, here he is trying to get a hook up online. Yay! Let’s have a-kind-of-hook-up-on-Zoom-or-Facetime! )

Zack, 30

I got a B+ on Human Sexuality in College. So let’s just say that I know my way around a *checks poorly scribbled notes*

Clitoris ( And Zack’s profile picture of him half naked in a pool, where do I sign up? – That’s Sarcasm Folks.)

And …. yes, not only do guys have poor choice of words in these bios, but their profile pictures are another thing all together. The sad thing is, women are falling for this crap day in and day out or they wouldn’t have that many subscribers to the app.

As one guy put it, “With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling. You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day – the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.” – ( and let’s add the spread of STD’s, other diseases, and yes, unwanted pregnancies.)

If you seriously think about it rock stars and professional athletes have enjoyed easily accessible casual sex for decades. Now with these apps, access to all these women who want to just “do it” makes it one thousand times easier. Tinder allow everyone to seek brief validation in the form of casual sex with a stranger. Why do women, who in the age of “Me Too,” want to play the game by the guys rules? What women on Tinder have not realized yet is the fact that men you meet on Tinder most likely are not available; look at the list above, just about all those bios I listed maybe one guy is “available” for a relationship.

Remember ladies, no matter how good you are in the sack, you are not going to turn a casual sex with a guy into a meaningful relationship- EVER. The guy will remember you, There are 3 types of women in a guy’s mind:

The hook up 2am girl – they would never date or have a long term relationship with her only sex. (These are those girls who are also “good in the sack” )

Friend Zone – if you aren’t attracted to each other then it’s going to be impossible to get out of the friend zone.

Wife material- He sees that you are smart, attractive and he sees that you have a lot to offer.

Do you really think these apps are going to make a guy look for wife material?

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, but you allow someone into your life in a “casual way,” then that’s what you get. If you instead hold out for someone who is also looking for the commitment you are, then you’ll get that instead.

The choice is up to you. Choose wisely.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

An Open Letter To Men Everywhere

Do men get pinched, groped, ogled, catcalled, stared at, followed, intimidated and stalked regularly by other men?
Do they get rape threats from strangers online for having the gall to express a strong opinion?
How about unwanted comments on their profile pictures, unsolicited pictures of male genitalia, persistent romantic propositions even after rejection?
How about being talked over at work, admonished for standing one’s ground, assumed to be less skilled, being singled out among other colleagues for clerical tasks, told that their place is “in the kitchen” and “at home, raising kids?”
You are being asked to give women, the same bare-minimum, basic, fundamental respect that you afford men. You know, the sort that should be afforded to all human beings, simply for existing. We aren’t asking for amazing treatment, simply for being female. Far from it, actually. We’re asking for respect as people,  something we are deprived of simply for being women with a regularity, severity and degree that should absolutely alarm you.
Respecting women can’t be a rule, but surely it can be a responsibility that shouldn’t be taken lightly.  Women are tired of having to be taught how to protect themselves from men, but rather why can’t the men be taught not to rape, harass, or abuse a woman? Dress does not dictate if a woman is valued or respected. Nor does it protect her from being violated. But I am, as are all women tired of hearing guys ask, “well, what was she wearing?” Or, “She was probably asking for it.”  No.  No woman is ever asking to be raped, harassed or abused.  No woman wants to be judged based on what she was wearing, how she was wearing it, and just how much attention she was craving. 
It’s about time society started appreciating the important role that women play. Women today contribute more than half to the world’s economy.  More than 11.6 million businesses are owned by women, employing nearly 9 million people, and generating $1.7 trillion in sales as of 2017. Women-owned businesses (51% or more) account for 39% of all privately held businesses and contribute 8% of employment and 4.2% of revenues.
We just aren’t about having babies, raising babies, and baking some cookies.  Women are smart, savvy, and go-getters.  Women want to be seen for WHO we are, NOT for what we look like.  Ever notice that a man especially, can only compliment a woman on her looks, not on her other personality traits?  “Oh, she is hot,” “She’s gorgeous,” or, “What a beauty!”  It’s never, ” You’re amazing at what you do,” “I always learn so much from you,” or,  “I like your style.”
If we want to prevent sexual assaults and sexual harassment, then parents have a responsibility to their sons to have a much more uncomfortable conversation. Overall, the media has told a man, in this society, treating women with disrespect is the cool or easy thing to do. The only way to change this, is to make sure that as boys, they know that this behavior is unacceptable, and that no matter who they come in contact with during their lifetime, they are to be treated with respect.  Remember, it costs NOTHING to be kind, to be respectable and to be responsible.