Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationships In Times Of Social Distancing

As we have been quarantined for awhile now practicing social distance, working from home, and now not being able to be around other people, it got me thinking about relationships in our lives.

There pretty much are four categories:

1- Those that are familiar and make us feel good.

2- Those that bring you adventure and make you question everything.

3- Those that are put on hold.

4- Those that make you crave more.

First and foremost, the relationships that most of us miss are the familiar. Our families, friends, and co-workers. The ones that we spend the most time with during the day, let alone the week. Of course these people are the ones that make us feel good about our lives and make us feel full of life. Whether we have small conversations during the day, hang out at the bar after work or make plans with friends to go to “the game,” we have connections that increase our emotional well being and boost your mood. It’s essential to have those people in your life who you can trust when we face those challenges life can bring and having someone to vent to is also important.

The next type of relationship are the ones that bring us adventure and make you question just about everything in that happens in life. These are needed for an upbeat life- not a dull life. Without these connections and relationships, we would all live a very depressed life. Successful lives grow out of having adventures. The adventure of your life is so important that it demands the best of your attention, and the most of your energies, on a daily basis, so that you can have a well-balanced life. Being adventurous and questioning why things are the way they are, expands and broaden our mind and makes us learn new and unique things which were unknown before.

The bad thing about being stuck in quarantine, are the relationships that were now put on hold. There are some folks that get excited about meeting new people, having new friendships, and even having romantic relationships blossom. In this time of social distancing, we are forced to put some of these new possibilities on hold simply because to build a relationship isn’t something you can do over just with texting, Facetime and social media, it’s something that we have to do physically.

Of course there are relationships that make us crave more. These are a combination of 1-3. The importance of adventure in our life provides a positive attitude in the same way it releases our stress because during the adventure it take us away from our hectic life to a new happy life at least for a short period of time. Some relationships inspire us, shape us, mold us, and make us simply appreciate life more. All of us need love in our lives, even though there might be some people who will deny that.

Where there is love ,there is hope. And when there is hope, then anything is possible. Love doesn’t have an age, a race, a religion, or a gender. Love is something that binds us together. It’s the soul of any relationship.

So, while we sit here and wait for our lives to get back to normal, I hope that when we do, we don’t go back to “normal.” I hope this quarantine and social distancing makes each and every one of us realize how blessed we are to have relationships already in our lives, the chance to grow new relationships, and the possibility to make each moment we get to live, memorable. Maybe we will appreciate each other more. Maybe we will love with less restrictions. Maybe when all is said and done, we will take time to literally, “smell the roses,” while being forced right now to wake up and “smell the coffee.”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

It’s that dreaded time: Valentine’s Day

Everybody has a right to be happy.

That is not the issue. The issue at hand is how we go about trying to find that true happiness and if that’s all we are doing, then my question is: Why do we believe that the only way to be truly happy is if we are in a relationship?

First off, let’s talk about what constitutes a relationship, because I feel in today’s world with social media, dating sites, and all that jazz, people are forgetting the clear definition of what a relationship is. In the dictionary a relationship is defined as, “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” While an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Notice that a relationship can be either physical, emotional, or even a combination of both. This also counts for all those “online relationships” people are having these days.

You go on Facebook to network or share your passion for something, since there are tons of groups and fan pages these days, and you strike up a conversation with someone. Next thing you know, you are talking to this person everyday. The minute you blink your eyes, you now find yourself talking to this person about your life, he/she asks you for your phone number, and he/she says those exciting words: Let’s finally meet.
The only problem is that every time you bring up about meeting in person, he/she has some lame excuse. (Trust me, I have heard many crazy excuses from people telling me about their experiences!)

The same situation can also happen on Twitter, Instagram, or of course those nightmare dating sites.

Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!

Some are friendships, yes, but for the sake of this article, I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!

So, what does this all mean? It simply means that even though you aren’t married to this person, even though you have yet to meet this person face to face, while you are talking every day, and some get very intimate online, you are emotionally connected. And yes I know that some people chat it up with a lot of folks, especially guys. Tom chats with Donna, Cindy, Vanessa, and then there’s Denise. But if Tom is just chatting with those girls every so often and he is seriously talking to Mindy every day online, while also calling her on the phone, and he talked about wanting to finally meet up and that he loves her, Tom is in a relationship with Mindy and only Mindy.

I love guys online who constantly tell me that it’s not cheating if you aren’t married. That’s just the excuse they give themselves for their behavior as well as the way to reason with themselves that they didn’t fall for someone online. Remember, any type of cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice. Single is only a status you fill out on a form, just because you aren’t checking the married box, doesn’t mean that you can’t cheat.

That is basically relationship 101.
Now back to my question, why do we feel that in order to be happy we must be in a relationship?

The thing is, nobody can give us a better life but ourselves, if you wait for someone to make you happy you will never be. But as human nature plays a part in our daily lives, no matter how many times you say you don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend, your heart still craves to love someone truly. The thing to remember is this, sex is so easy to find, that’s why love is so hard to get. Our heart is like an unfinished puzzle, that is why we search for the perfect one to complete it. That’s is why some relationships end and new ones begin. Don’t just settle for someone, make sure that person is the one who fits the puzzle, because if you just try to force a relationship to work, you are hurting yourself and wasting someone else’s time.

You learn how to love others through the simple act of loving yourself. Without it, you will never be able to love someone else completely. So, to answer the question, the most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself, but, if you are looking for love this Valentine’s Day; here are 3 rules to remember. 

RULE 1: Never EVER get yourself involved in a relationship with a man/woman who is newly divorced. He is still grieving the relationship himself & trying to sort out feelings. The worse thing to do is get hung up on a man who will be looking out for himself.

RULE 2: Know your worth. Most women forget about this one & feel that they aren’t worth it without a man. That’s when you settle for less than you deserve. Men: Don’t go for eye candy, go for a woman who has the biggest heart, the best personality and someone who will support your dreams.

RULE 3: In any relationship there needs to be trust & honesty; when there isn’t you don’t have a relationship at all. You are just 2 people in the same room.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

7 dating tips you should follow if you are single:

 

Let me begin by saying, that most of these are for women, but I didn’t leave you guys out all together, so not to worry, I have 2 out of the 7 tips for just for you!

It’s a fact that I owe a great deal of who I am today, to every guy from my past. They have awoken the beast per-say. But because I took a long, hard look at myself, I am able to now be able and ready to love a man who deserves my love and knows my worth. It’s not an easy task to look yourself in the mirror, but as I observe many single ladies online and in reality, I have gained insight as to why so many relationships fail.

The first reason is because women have this stupid idea in their heads, that if they don’t have a man in their lives they are incomplete.

Dating tip #1: You don’t need a man to complete you, you need a man to COMPLIMENT you. There’s a distinct difference. To be complete means to love yourself. No man is ever going to complete you and make you whole. You need to complete yourself, by loving yourself.

Dating tip #2: Until a man has actually done something to make you not trust him, don’t make him pay for the troubles another man caused. So many times I see people tweeting or posting on Facebook how they don’t trust guys, when that guy has done nothing to you to make you feel that he isn’t worthy of your trust. Until a man actually lies to your face, cheats on you, or does something to hurt you, don’t punish him because the man before him did those things to you! Remember, assumptions ruin relationships.

Let me say that flirting with a guy, sending him little hints that you are interested in him, is not throwing yourself at him. Us women get so caught up in wanting to “land” a man, that what we are actually doing by going all out for him is pushing him further and further away.

Dating tip #3: Don’t ever feel like you have to chase anyone. Someone who truly appreciates you will walk with you and won’t need to be chased.

Dating tips #4 and #5 go together. There are some guys out there that use love to bait women into having sex with them, and there are women out there that use sex to try to bait men to love them. But what women just don’t understand about that “philosophy” is that, dating tip #4: Sex won’t make him love you. A guy can love your sex and still not love you. So if you think that he will fall madly in love with you because you are sleeping with him, I hate to break it to you, he’s won’t. This leads me to dating tip #5: Easy girls open their legs while smart girls open their minds. There’s a difference between being classy and being trashy. BE the GIRL that EVERY guy WANTS- NOT the girl that EVERY guy has HAD.

Now to give a tip to the guys out there. And since almost everyone has a smartphone I thought of a great analogy for the modern day man! Dating tip #6: Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her & make her the most important thing in your life.

Finally, here’s something that both men and women can relate to:

Dating tip #7: There’s a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough. Don’t stay with a partner who isn’t giving it their all. So many times people stay with their partner for way too long, hoping that they are going to realize just what you are offering. When the truth is, most times they won’t realize what they have and frankly they don’t deserve it. Giving up, doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means that you are tired of giving your everything & ending up with nothing. You know when you have tried to work things out, and if you have done your part and they refuse to do theirs, all you can do is walk away. It’s best to be alone and be happy, than to be in a relationship and be miserable!

If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority. Love comes unexpectedly without any doubt or hesitation. At some point in life, someone will love you more than what you’ve expected. Be patient and learn to wait, because sometimes, a patient person receives the best love story.

Get the book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed”  Before the follow up comes out some time in the fall of 2020.

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why Women Should Enjoy Having Orgasms As Much As Men Do

 

Double standards with dating are everywhere and there’s a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that claims women don’t really have orgasms but instead squirt out a little pee. I’m here to debunk that.

For women, orgasms don’t come as easy as with men, but women can and should enjoy them as much as men do.

Orgasms Can Relieve Pain: There is some evidence that suggests orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain—including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery and even pain during childbirth.

Condom Use Doesn’t Affect Orgasm Quality: Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom, dispelling myths that condoms don’t make for good sex. Condoms are good for SAFE sex and are 97% effective in stopping pregnancy.

30% of Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm: One in three women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex. So a study that was done on only seven women and said that women don’t orgasm — they pee — is ridiculous! Now, women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, so guys, if you really want to see a woman literally “lose control,” you better work.

Here are 15 ways to help women achieve the Big O:

1- Finding Your G-spot May Improve the Likelihood of Orgasm- Yes, the G-spot is important in having an orgasm — it’s that simple. (Regardless of those who say it doesn’t exist).

2- Foreplay Isn’t Optional as Far as Your Orgasm is Concerned- It takes 10-20 minutes of stimulation for the average woman to reach her peak so the more kissing and caressing you do, the better.

3- Oral is One of the Best Ways to Get Off- 80 percent of women have difficulty from having an orgasm on vaginal sex alone. If you really want to kick it up a notch, oral sex will do it. Most women can orgasm from masturbation, but not everyone comes during sex.

4- Masturbation- Women are so embarrassed to admit that they masturbate when the males in our lives aren’t. We’re looked at as “freaks” when we even admit to it, but it’s the easiest way for women to hit the big O. And the more you do it, the better.

5- Kegel Exercises- Doing your Kegel exercises flexes the muscles that stop urination. Do 10 reps, holding each rep for 10 seconds, twice a day while you’re watching TV or doing just about anything.

6-It’s All in the Noise : Low-pitched noises bring them down to…well, down there. So actually, the louder you are the longer it will take for you to orgasm.

7-Relationship O: Women in relationships tend to climax a higher percentage of the time during sex than women who are just hooking up.

8- Happy Place: Not only is the G-spot important, but for some women, stimulation of the nipples and breasts can increase the likelihood of having an orgasm and increase its intensity.

9- The Big O and Your Age: Sixty-five percent of women in their 30s and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s orgasm more often than those in their 20s.

Oh, Baby: Orgasms may boost the chance of getting pregnant.

10- Burn, Baby, Burn: An orgasm burns just 2–3 calories, though a person can burn around 50 calories in the activity leading up to the orgasm.

11- It’s More About Cuddling: When a woman orgasms, her body produces four times the normal amount of oxytocin, the chemical that stimulates bonding.

12- Turn It On: A 2007 study found that straight women were aroused by watching films of both men and women having sex.

13- Toys For Pleasure: At the start of the 20th Century, the first electric home vibrators hit the market before many other household ‘essentials’

14- Eat it Up: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein: dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. (Yes, women are sexually controlled due to testosterone, not men.) Also, eating a little dark chocolate releases sexual desire in women as well.

15- Want More: Want more orgasms? Then switch stimulation techniques. If you’ve just reached orgasm through clitoral stimulation, try penetration to continue the sensations. Or vice versa.

Everyone’s body response is different. We’re unique, our reactions vary, and most importantly, not everyone is a dramatic and loud, as you see in movies. Orgasms are about being comfortable with your partner and communicating with your partner about what you like and don’t like. This is key to everything about relationships.

You can read more in my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd” and in the upcoming follow up being released some time in 2020.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing. Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, by either pretending to be a woman or getting a woman they know to befriend me on social media. So here’s a tip for all your ladies out there: If a “woman” befriends you on social media out of the blue based on something you have posted and the conversation gets really personal by them initiating it, then somehow during the conversation they tell you, “… but don’t mention my name,” or “Don’t tell them I said it,” then you know there’s something up with that. When the person who initiates the conversation is now being secretive, you know that “woman” is really either A) a friend of the guy, or B) the guy pretending to be a woman. And I laugh, because guys can’t even talk like women do, which is a dead giveaway. Guys talk the same online as they do in person. They aren’t that good of an actor. What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

But do guys know what women really want? Here are a few things:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4– Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Men’s Epic Fails

Sorry guys, but sometimes you really are pathetic. Sending your mixed signals, changing your mind more times than I change my bra, and just being completely idiotic with playing games. But the good news is, us women still love you, flaws and all. Here are a handful of things that you guys may not even notice that you are doing which in turn are ruining your relationships.

Not Planning Things

The first epic fail is that you guys always assume that the woman is the one to make the plans. So while she is sitting there waiting for you to take the lead, you are sitting there wasting time because you feel that’s a “woman” thing to do.

Start Saying Thank You

This is obvious, we give you a gift or say something nice, open your big, fat mouths and say thank you! It won’t hurt and we won’t read anything into that. Not saying thank you is just plain rude!

Blaming Our Moods On…

Yes, you guys constantly blame our monthly periods on our moods. Here’s a crazy concept, maybe I’m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it’s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.

Run!

You realize that you really like a girl and she really wants to be with you so what do you do? You run! How stupid, seriously! If you aren’t ready for that type of relationship, all you need to do is communicate that to her and ask to remain friends. If you really likes you, she’ll agree. Running is for fools. Sticking your head in the sand might make you feel safer, but it’s not going to protect you from the coming storm.

You Are Not God’s Gift To Women

I repeat, you are NOT God’s gift to women, so calm down. Stop being overly cocky and over the top and just be your freaking selves! A real woman is NOT impressed with cars, how much money you have, how much weight you lost, the type of job you have, etc. We want you to have a job and be able to drive us on dates, but deep down, we don’t care about this stuff.

Pick Up The Damn Phone

Pick up the damn phone and call us back or text us back. When you go cold-turkey on us and not respond that makes YOU look bad or you look like you are starving for attention. Again, it’s another way of you being rude, and by the way, this is not going to make us NOT like you anymore. It will just annoy the hell out of us.

Proposing To A Woman Just Because…

Why the hell would you want to get married if you don’t love her? This is a major epic fail because then you are stuck in a situation that you shouldn’t be in the first place. This goes for men who get a woman pregnant and feel it’s the “manly” thing to do to marry her. This is for the guy who confuses love with lust. This is for the guy who meets a woman online and then 3-6 months later proposes without really knowing her. This is also for the guy who meets a woman and then suddenly thinks he needs to put a ring on it…. without truly knowing her. This is half the reason who divorce rates are high. But hey, divorce is a completely different topic that we will discuss later but I will say that if this i you- at least you have an out from your misery.

Spying On Us

It amazes me how stupid you guys are sometimes! Social Media isn’t going to help you really get to know a woman. Granted yes you get to see their pics, and you get to see what hobbies and things they like to do, but if you judge a woman based on her social meida accounts, then you are setting yourself up short & not being fair to her.

Being Gross

Talking with your mouth full and shoving food in your mouth, are just two of the ways that you guys gross us out. The other is when you don’t say excuse me after you burp…. ewww.

Arguing Over Nothing

Yes, us women are guilty of nagging you. I get it. But you guys are guilty of starting fights over nothing. Literally- nothing!

Sending Mixed Signals

One minute you talk to us and flirt with us non-stop, the next minute you ignore us. Then you think you have a right to get angry when we do the same crap to you? If you want us but aren’t ready to be in a relationship, open your mouth and just tell us. If we really want to be with you, we will wait. If not, why keep us wondering and waste your time as well?

Wanting Sex And That’s It

Friends with Benefits never work, so why do you guys seriously think that if you just sex from us, that’s okay? I understand that you have needs, so do we, but if you date a woman for a while and spice things up in the bedroom, you’ll have the best of both worlds.

You Put Too Much Emphasis On Looks

I get it, you want a barbie doll type girl. You know, the Victoria’s Secret type. But remember, looks fade, personality doesn’t. Her mindset will raise your children, not her materialism, looks, or her body. Choose wisely!

Trying To Get Us Jealous As A Way To Communicate

Trying to see if a woman likes you or feels the same way about you by lying that you are in a relationship, flirting with other women in front of her, or just wording things in a certain way so you get a reaction out of us, isn’t going to get you the desired response. Instead, you are going to hurt her, and seriously I doubt that is the intention of most men. I’ll fight for you but I will NEVER compete for you.;there’s a difference.

Using Text To Have Serious Conversations:

Texting is good for those hi, how are you doing messages. Texting is NOT good to see where you stand with someone, break up with someone or even have a serious conversation about any situation you are going through. People today have lost the true meaning of communication simply because using text is so impersonal and it doesn’t truly convey the message you really are sending. So before you decide to have a serious talk, save it for face to face and please put down the damn phone!

No one is perfect, I know that. And I am not saying that you guys need to do everything perfectly correct. But if we take a little time to actually THINK before we act or speak, we are not only thinking about ourselves but also remembering that HOW we approach situations effects others too. Your imperfections don’t define you. It’s how you handle them that makes you human.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

An Open Letter To All Men Everywhere

Dear Men,

 

It seems that the guys who play in the NFL, once again proof just how dumb you guys can be when it comes to picking women.   But before I go ahead and rant on that, let me let every single guy, including every single athlete know something: Cameras are everywhere!  If you are going to make a decision that in the end, gets you into trouble either with the law, your job, your wife, your girlfriend, etc, just know that someone already has it on camera.  Technology has developed cell phones with awesome cameras. It also has developed awesome surveillance systems in hotels, malls, bars, clubs, stores, and just about everywhere, where you can go and be seen.

Now onto talking about women.  Stop letting your penis make your decisions when it comes to women. There’s such a thing as listening to your gut, or your intuition.  That’s why these dating apps are destroying people, because when you meet people via dating apps, you go by what they are saying about themselves and, most people lie in their dating profiles. Secondly, just because a woman “looks” hot doesn’t mean she has good intentions and a beautiful soul.  Stop judging women by their looks. It can be said to women who do the same thing when it comes to men, but women choose a man differently than a man, chooses a woman. Women are more prone to give a guy who isn’t “hot” a chance, because he has better features than just his looks. Whereas a man, goes straight for the hot chick just to impress his friends, or make people jealous, or because he thinks she will be his arm candy, and they will standout.

Thirdly, Keep your hands to yourself – pushing, kicking, slapping a woman is unacceptable. Now, women need to be called out on this as well, because it’s not right to go ahead and smack a man for ANY reason UNLESS he hit you first and it’s self-defense. In the movies you see women throwing shoes, purses, and even throwing water in a man’s face after she finds out he’s cheating or doing something that gets him into trouble. That’s also unacceptable.

No means no.  Let me repeat that for all the men out there: No means No.  If she doesn’t want to sleep with you, doesn’t want to hook up, doesn’t want to hook up with your friends, doesn’t want to do anything, no means no.  How ever the rest goes down, even if she calls you the worst name in the book, you stay the bigger person and WALK AWAY! Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

This is for all the athletes: STOP getting involved with women you meet at clubs or parties. NOTHING good can come from it.  Also stop getting involved with groupies that hang out in the SAME hotel as you!  Trust me when I say that women who do this, do this for a reason- they know that you got fame, money, power, whatever else, and that is the ONLY reason they are there!  Again, she could be “hot” but don’t let your penis make that decision to have her go up to your hotel room.  Next thing you know, you fall asleep and she posted pictures of you together all over social media!  Also, if she gets pregnant, you are now going to be paying her child support for the next 18 years!

THINK before you act.

Go for a woman who doesn’t care what you do for a living and treats you like she would treat any guy she would meet. Go for a woman who supports your ups and your downs.

Sparks are great. But investigate. Be attracted to her mentally, emotionally not just physically.  Go for a woman who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another.  If she wants to change you in any way, and they she is not accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and she will never treat you properly.  Finally, pick a woman who can  bring out the best in you and who can maintain her own identity.   Those are the women who you should choose, and if you notice I never said anything about looks or sex.

Stop letting your penis make the decisions for you. Use your heart and your mind to help you pick the best partner for you- not just a one night stand or a “maybe” girlfriend. But  a person who you see yourself with forever.

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner · 4 Comments

5 Things Feminism Isn’t.

Back in the day women were told how to catch and keep a man, how to breastfeed, how to raise a family, etc. These women were told how to be a housewife because that was all they were “supposedly” capable of doing. When women in the 1950’s found out that this was the way men actually, truly thought, they just weren’t outraged; they did something about it: and that is how the true feminism movement started. When women got together to talk, the words, “career” or “inferior to men” never were part of the discussion simply because they found themselves embarrassed to even mention it. The question then beckons, “Were feminists back in the 50’s and 60’s really the true definition of a rebel or were they just seen as troublemakers?”

Feminism is NOT the journey to find your true self. Even though there are writers, feminists, and even professors who will try and make you believe this but trust me, this concept is nothing but hogwash.

Feminist is just a word. It’s a word that conjures up hate, resentment, and setbacks. And Feminism does NOT make all our lives better as some will argue. You can demand the world take you seriously without it.

The truth is, only when people make extreme and take extreme measures, so movements get the attention they deserve. And with social media today, it’s a lot easier than you can imagine.

There is ample evidence that the more mainstream media girls consume, the more importance they place on being pretty and sexy. A 2006 survey of 2,000 girls showed that they repeatedly described the pressures of being perfect- thin, please everyone, and dress correctly. So instead of feeling that they have a choice in how to be a woman they want to be, they feel that they must not only have it all but be it all. ( Be smart and stunning and wear a tiara and a cape)

Here’s the lowdown:
1- Feminism will not help you find the right partner.

2- Feminism will do nothing for your sex life. The only thing it can be counted for is the fact that women now have the right to use birth control. But it doesn’t make your sex life better or worse.

3- Shaving or waxing your privates will not make you more feminine and it has nothing to do with feminism.

4-Those women who have plastic surgery to make themselves look better, due so because feminism beckons that they look perfect. Get a nose job so you can function, not so you can look perfect.

5- Feminists argue that dieting isn’t about being skinny, but that is it about having power.

It’s the way a women competes with a man in a “man’s world,” is nothing but hogwash. Dieting should be about health, not about competing against a man or for a man.

Equality.

If we keep saying that one sex is better than the other, how can we actually be equal?

Everyone, male or female deserve to be treated with respect. Everyone deserves love and everyone deserves a chance to be who they want to be.  That was the initial goal of feminism back in the day until the man-bashing women took over the movement. Just like I have learned that not all men are the same, the same can be said about women. All women aren’t into this man-bashing thing. Some of us are goodhearted, sweet, kind and understanding. So to all those men who have given up on finding someone who wants to give you the world, don’t. She is out there, I swear.

Everyone deserves true, real love that is given from the heart. Don’t ever doubt that you deserve it.

Life can be hectic, confusing, painful, unpredictable and who knows what may be around the next corner. But eventually you learn that the human spirit prevails, hearts open and love surprises-–often when we least expect it. And we don’t need “feminism” in order to know that.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The NFL and Hollywood: The definition of hypocrites

“….a women’s responsibility not to “provoke” domestic violence.” Those were Stephen A. Smith’s actual words on ESPN in 2014, in reference to Ray Rice’s two game suspension from the NFL for knocking out his wife, Janay, in an Atlantic City resort elevator. (Meanwhile, for those who don’t follow the NFL, Robert Mathis, another football player, was suspended for four games for taking Clomid, to help him & his wife have a third child in 2014.)

To say that a woman is “responsible” for a man’s actions is not only absurd, it is sexist. Let me enlighten ALL men that, a women doesn’t “ask” to get beaten and in the same breath, she doesn’t “ask” or “invite” any man to rape her either. The only actions a woman is responsible for are her own. Period.

Not the cold hard facts on domestic violence: The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence reports that 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. It is estimated that 960,000 incidents of violence against a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend to 3 million women are physically abused by their husband or boyfriend per year. Women ages 20-24 are at the greatest risk of nonfatal intimate partner violence. Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.

Domestic Abuse starts off small. #1 FACT: Most domestic violence incidents are never reported. Domestic violence isn’t just an argument every once in a while. Domestic violence is an ongoing pattern of abusive behavior when one person chooses to control the relationship through force or intimidation. Fear and embarrassment are the reasons that many women do not wish to report the abuse or do anything to stop it. This is the reason most abused women stay in those relationships and blame themselves for the abuse.

And in the case of millions of actors and actresses not coming forward about being sexual harassed, or raped, until years later, the reason highlights itself. They were afraid of being blackballed in Hollywood.  How much further will this topic go? Will we just forget about sexual abuse, sexual harassment,  and sexism when this Weinstein story blows over? Because that is usually what happens. We never “fix” problems, or come up with solutions. All we do is talk things to death and then move on.

Same could be said about the NFL now. They are worst hypocrites. They make all their players wear pink for “Breast Cancer Awareness” and then they allow players to get second chance after second chance when they commit a crime against a woman.  They are afraid to lay down rules as we see with the National Anthem, as we are witnessing. Can you imagine the powerhouse the NFL could really be if they had strict rules that were enforced, educated the players on domestic violence, and then turned around and educated the public?  Can you imagine what true role models those in Hollywood would be in they stood up against sexual crimes, in spite of their own careers?

We can all help eliminate domestic violence and sexual crimes. Can we stop it? Probably not 100% but we can educate others after we educate ourselves first.  We should do this because every child, woman and man deserves that, no questions asked.

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Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Chapter Eleven: 7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

Chapter Eleven: 7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single( From The Book, Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed)

“I hate being single!” or “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Singlehood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it first hand. There are those who are still single due to being left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then of course you have those people who call you “desperate.” Lets get one stereotype cleared up though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There’s a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate. But if you struggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.

This chapter is NOT for those people. The ones who are smart enough to take a step back, look at the situation, and go slow finding someone to have a real relationship with instead of rushing themselves to the altar, are the ones who will “win” in the dating game.

This is for those who are sabotaging any chance they get at having a relationship and there are seven good reasons why you are still single.

Let’s start off small:

1- You have annoying habits that scare people away.

I know someone who has this annoying habit of talking with food in their mouth. I also know someone who is obsessed with their blackberry or iPhone. You interrupt people while they are talking and talk about something else or just talk on and on. This behavior was another relationship breaker that was mentioned.

2- You don’t pay attention and constantly make the other person repeat.

It doesn’t cost anything to pay attention. If someone is talking to you and you are too busy doing something else, what does that say about how you value the other person? We as a society need to learn to listen better. Most people just listen for the cue to when it’s their turn to speak. They don’t actually listen to what is being said.

3- Loyalty, Honesty and Trust issues.

Let me give you the straight definition of each term. Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating or theft. And Trust is, the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. These three are tied together. When you don’t have one in any relationship, you don’t have any of them. When you are loyal, you don’t cheat. When you have faith that the person you love only loves you; then you have trust. And when you trust someone, you know that they are being fully honest with you about every aspect of the relationship.

4- You constantly talk about your ex or previous relationship nonstop.

I know some ladies who constantly talk about previous relationships as if they are still continuing. If you still talk about it, you still care about it. Period. When you have serious baggage you cannot and SHOULD NOT even start to think about having a new relationship. Work through and get over the previous relationship, before moving on to a new one. This is mistake that many single ladies make. They hop into a new relationship just so they can forget about how “Dave” ripped their heart into a million pieces, or they sleep with the first guy that glances over at them in a bar, restaurant, gym, etc. This is also very “desperate” behavior which signifies very deep self-worth, self-esteem issues. When you settle just for “anyone” to get over someone with whom you had an emotional and physical relationship with, you are setting yourself up for an even a bigger disaster. Then of course you have people who go out with someone just to get over their ex or because they fear being “alone” and then end up engaged but still hung over their previous ex. Here’s the thing: If you are not crazy about the person you are about to marry, take a step back. This doesn’t mean go chasing down your ex, since you cannot make someone else want to be with you. But you will be doing yourself and your future husband/wife a disservice by marrying them, when it’s obvious your heart is not in it. Remember, Love won’t grow just because you marry.

To get over an ex, you need time in between relationships. Jumping from relationship to relationship will not help you at all. The fact is rebounding is dangerous because you’re at your most vulnerable and have not had enough time to mourn the loss of your previous relationship and move on. You’re still suffering from heartbreak, even if you deny it. When you meet someone else without getting over the previous relationship, you don’t fall in love with someone but fall completely infatuated with the feelings you are feeling instead. You may gush over the rebounder, but the reality is, that you’re trying to recapture the feelings you had while you were with your ex.

You also have not given yourself time to look at WHY your previous relationship failed. Subconsciously you will make the same exact mistakes with this relationship that you just made with your previous one. So how long should you wait before getting involved with someone new? If you were together for six months, you wait 3 months. If you were together for 12 months, you wait 6 months. The key is to give yourself enough time to get through the pain you feel and get over him/her. That means erasing his/her number from your cell phone, erasing text messages, voice messages and deleting them from your social network. When you can do that, then you are over them.

5- You have a negative outlook on life.

First, don’t complain about someone not treating you right. If you know you deserve more, then why are you with them? Negativity breeds negativity just like positivity breeds positivity. If you have the “woe is me,” attitude, who wants to be around that and listen to it 24/7? I know that I don’t. Who wants to keep hearing how work stinks, how much you wish you could live somewhere else, or how everyone around you is having babies and families but not you?

6- You are oversharing too fast.

Making a full disclosure within the first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeletons” you reveal. Again, your new date doesn’t need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn’t work, your money issues, etc. Once you share something, you can’t take it back either. Over-sharing. It has always been a problem but has become more so in the digital age. Just look at Facebook and how everyone shares every aspect of their lives. Everyone needs to know everything about everyone. And that’s a bad situation for someone who is meeting someone for the first time. People with bad intentions can get your information and either manipulate you with it or share it with others you don’t necessarily want it shared with. Then you will have put yourself in a position you could have avoided. Also, do NOT become Facebook “friends” with new suitors either. I would actually block them from finding you on Facebook and then once you get to know them, and feel confident/comfortable with them, allow them to then become your online friend as well. Remember, less history equals more mystery. More mystery leads to more dates. More dates leads to having a serious relationship. And if you want to let your potential suitors see your Facebook page, then you must be cautious as to what you post publicly. Remember, what you post can generally come back to bite you in the ass. It happens all the time. Don’t let it happen to you.

7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex.

Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody’s “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn’t be based on looks, money or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)

You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.

In today’s society we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don’t fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL. Treat them with a dose a reality, not fantasy.

There is someone for everyone, just because you haven’t met that special someone, does not mean you never will. Take this time in your single life to focus on you and love yourself, so when the right person comes along, you can wholeheartedly share that love with them too.

The Links To Purchase Book are here: http://www.stephaniedolce.com