Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Can We Stop Harassing Women Who Love Sports?

Although millions of women have experience playing sports and many millions more are fans of sports, women are still looked down upon when they talk about sports. And when they do, men still persistently question their qualifications.

First thing all women who love sports have to deal with is that we ONLY love the sport for how “good looking” the men are. Now, unfortunately some girls tweet and post about how “hot” an athlete looks so all girls and women are thrown into this category and even if we actually enjoy the sport for what it is, and make a comment on how handsome a guy looks, that’s it; we all are told that is the REAL reason we love football or hockey. (Especially those 2 sports)

I don’t know how to break this to you guys out there but it’s pretty much impossible to see the faces or the abs of football players as they’re bolting across my TV or device. And hockey players… have so much padding on them, plus a helmet with a visor, that it’s impossible to judge their “hotness” as they quickly skate up and down the rink. If girls wanted to look at cute guys, they would probably watch a soap opera or a music video or sex website, not athletes covered in so much gear that they’re barely recognizable.

Then we have to deal with questions like, “Your boyfriend, dad or your brothers got you into liking football or hockey, right?” For some reason, it’s hard for some guys to wrap their brains around the fact that a woman can turn on a TV or find a sport and find a game all on her own. I can tell you for a fact that no one in my family introduced me to NY Rangers hockey… I found it, got into it, and love it all by my little self.

Another thing that guys don’t seem to understand is that you can be a fan of a sport without knowing every player’s statistics. If you claim to like , the Yankees for example, then guys bombard me with questions about the players and even when I know all of the answers., these guys STILL won’t let up!
Listen, we don’t quiz men on your Shakira knowledge so why should they quiz us on sports?

My favorite though is insisting that I am an airhead, because I am a female fan.

Another doozy is that if you like a team that just so happens to be doing well, you’re going to be accused of liking them because it’s trendy. ( We get that in NY a lot)

Let me tell you that I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a hockey jersey to impress ANY guy! Most women watch sports, because they actually enjoy them. They don’t have an ulterior motive. Sorry that you feel so incredibly insecure about yourself to even think that.

Also, if a girl likes a certain player that you hate, that doesn’t give you the right to bully, harass, or shame someone for THEIR love for that particular player. People need to realize that not EVERY post needs your comment on it – just as in real life you wouldn’t engage in every conversation you would come in contact with same applies online.
I hate it when people bash players online and then also think they can bash their families and the fans who like them. I will go after you on that, as being an athlete is hard enough, let alone having people bash them who by the way are buying tickets to watch. Most fans couldn’t even survive on the field or ice past the 1st shift/1 series.

Finally, this is what one guy I spoke too about what he thought about women enjoying sports had to say, “I’m a competitive cyclist and if a girl can keep up with me on a mid-paced weekend ride I’m pretty much in love.”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort #facts

On my podcast, “The Recordings of A Fan girl #sarcasm, I talk about dating, relationships and I mention athletes A LOT with their relationships and dating no-nos. As both the NFL and NHL start up again on September 11th, I thought hey, let’s review some past tips and past stories this week on my podcast.
Here though, I will mention a few goodies.

Click Here to see the screen shot I will be now referring to:

This here is the shit I have to deal with all the time! Dumb ass guys trying to disguise themselves on line to either: A: Hit on me B: Ask dumbass questions C: Think that they are being clever D: This guy actually thinks this here is a pick up line ( which is scary!)

Like I have mentioned here and on my podcast athletes have burner accounts and sometimes they make them so damn obvious too. Not only do they have burner accounts, but they also try their best to disguise themselves on dating apps like Tinder for example. The ones I have seen are NFL players pretending to be construction workers, landscapers, plumbers, real estate agents, etc. Remember, the only reason they are on these apps is for their hook-up on the road, although I have seen these guys be extremely stupid and actually find hook-ups on their home turf.
Some incredibly stupid women have also posted Tiktoks where they show themselves at the guy’s game and then realize that they were set up with a player and had no idea. Other Tiktoks show girls exposing the players cheating on their girlfriends and wives. We’ll get into it on the podcast this week!

As for dating and relationship observations, here are a couple of mine.

1- The first three dates ( which could be seen as a barometer) should just be friendly dates because then you’re really know if you want to pursue anything else and believe me I have had physical attraction right from the get go with some people and it didn’t end up the way that I wanted it to but I don’t regret having that relationship with those people because it taught me a lot about myself and it taught me how relationships last and how relationships don’t last. – Now, when sexual shenanigans take place, that can cloud your judgement on a person. But I don’t think there are any rules to dating expect the 1st date should not include shenanigans.
Also a “date” consists of either coffee, drinks, dinner, a fun nonsexual activity.

2- Sometimes one person in the relationship grows faster and grows completely away from what brought them together in the first place while the other person is still stagnant in the same spot. This is why some relationships fail.

3- I don’t understand why people want to be in relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship if it’s not something that you really really want. Why waste all that time and energy to just date for the sake of dating you know?

4- There’s so much double standards STILL with women in relationships. We can’t ask guys out because that seems too aggressive or seems as the masculine thing to do when we have to only show our feminine side… blah blah blah.

5- Then of course the stigma about women being single… Women Like the character Samantha Jones from Sex and The City had sex “Like a man” you know, had her way with him, and then was done with him, she is seen as hoe or a whore. Meanwhile guys can do whatever the hell they want and there’s no stigma to that.

6- If I decide to date a guy that that’s younger than me I’m gonna be seen as a cougar but when a guy my age, date’s a girl younger than him it’s OK. But I am more attracted to young guys 24-30.

7- Of course there is still the stigma that there’s something wrong with a woman who stays single too. I’m not gonna waste my time to going out with someone because all my friends are with someone or all the pressures on women . I don’t really go with the trendy stuff if you haven’t noticed, I do what is best for me whether other people like it or not.

8- Athletes fall into 1 of 2 categories- A) The one where they have to date arm candy because that is all they have to offer and it makes them look “good, powerful and important. ” B) The one where they actually date someone not because of who they are, what they look like, or the attention they would get because they dated that person, but because simply they love who they are, they are supportive, loyal, and they bring out the best in them when they are performing in their sport. I guess that is why this former cheerleader and current cheer coach loves being around athletes, because I LEAD.
That’s why we’re called cheerleaders because we’re supposed to LEAD not sit on the sidelines and watch things happen. I am loyal, supportive, and I understand things from an athlete’s point of view. They aren’t robots, they are people. They have emotions, they hurt, have pain, and experience life just like any of us. Most fans forget that part, sadly.
I root hard for those I care about. I want them to succeed. I want them to have their dreams come true.
If you read this blog, religiously, then you read me talk about my previous relationships, and what I took from them to become the best version of myself in order to be able to give that to a guy who deserves it in the future. Yes, I know I am a rare breed, I am the prize. I know what I bring to the table. And one day, a guy is going to see that… If we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Dirty Little Secret

Someone ACTUALLY posted this on Tiktok…. why? I don’t know.

Reasons to delete these apps! Number 1 & 3 NAILED it.

IF you click the videos and watch them on Youtube, you will see two things:

  1. Tinder IS ONLY a HOOK UP APP and people are STUPID to post about it.
    I know sometimes people like to post things for “shock value” at times, but why on Earth would you WANT people to even think that you are hooking up with a date in a hotel?
  2. IF you still think that you find your mate on these apps, sorry. You don’t. You settled.
    I said what I said. You settled for someone out of frustration, confusion, pressure to settle down or with the amount of folks you swiped on this app, which is called choice overload, you chose the wrong person.
  3. Remember, men on average hook up with 5-7 women and women hook up on average with 3-5 men on Tinder. IF you read the previous blog post, I told you EXACTLY how these apps work and how they trick you into believing you met your “soulmate” when you didn’t.
  4. The 2nd video NAILED the reasons I have been telling you WHY you should DELETE these apps and find love a different way. I am a strong believer that you can use social media, but it’s limited as to HOW to use it for this purpose. I just posted a video on my Twitter as to HOW you can get to know someone … it’s VERY simple:
    a) ask questions on line and have conversations in public first don’t just slide into DMs b) then take that relationship offline.
    c) I also noted that athletes and just regular joes should STOP asking their teammates and friends if they should “date” someone. Seriously, your teammate or friend is not going to date her… YOU are! If you feel a strong vibe towards her- ASK her OUT!


    You can read more about relationships and dating apps in my best selling book “Relationship Impossible”
Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

AN Inside Look to How Dating Apps REALLY Work

There are MANY reasons why dating apps are not good for mental health as well as your physical health. First and foremost, A group of psychologists in the Netherlands have discovered that we have a tendency to gradually close ourselves off when dating online. In other words, the more dating profiles people see, the more likely they are to reject them. The study shows that the endless stream of options can increase feelings of dissatisfaction and pessimism about finding a partner, which in turn leads to rejecting potential mates. Thanks to Dating Apps there are more possibilities to meet new partners than ever before, yet at the same time there have never been more people single in western society. This could be simply because the study found that both men and women tend to focus on the picture more than any other part of the online dating profile, but women view each profile for a longer amount of time than men do. Women spend an average of 84 seconds on each profile while the men spent an average 54 seconds on each profile. The male participants made more snap judgments based on a photo, while the female participants displayed a more methodical approach to online dating. But sadly other studies have shown that depression symptoms and

social anxiety are associated with greater use of mobile dating applications among women. If men are judging the women on these apps by appearance, and some women are not “appearing” attractive, then they are not getting too many “swipes.” This is due to the fact that socially anxious people tend to avoid asking others out on dates, fearing that they will be rejected or be negatively evaluated.

While now it might be hard to imagine a world without this virtual matchmaking, in reality these apps are still fresh, which means that studies into the impact they’ve had on our mental health and the studies that have been done over the last five or so years are starting to show that these dating apps don’t bode well for mental well being. Research by psychologist Barry Schwartz in his book, “Paradox of Choice,”has shown that even though we like having more options when making a decision, we are less satisfied with our choice the more options we have. ( which was written in my first book FYI) For users confronted by this seemingly overwhelming array of options you can understand why a reluctance to settle

may develop, especially when a new round of matches are only a swipe away- which is the reason for people staying single longer and not getting into a commuted relationship. What dating apps do to singles is that instead of allowing a connection to happen organically they worry about making a mistake or missing out on the one when the one could be right in front of them. In other terms, singles are looking for perfection which does not exist.

Chapter 2: How Dating Apps and Sites Actually Work ( From The Best Selling Book, Relationship Impossible)

Now that most of the lockdown rules have been lifted, online dating / dating apps are returning to it’s regular scheduled programming, with singles and married folks looking for that one night hook up. But what makes people first, go on a app, and then swipe? Do the apps work against you or for you? The first location-based apps changed that. Grindr was launched in 2009, and it helped single, often anonymously gay men link up by searching for other active users within a specific geographic radius. Then, with the launch of Tinder in 2012, smartphone-owning people of all sexualities could start looking for love, or sex, or casual dating in their area, and it quickly became the most popular platform on the market.

Today, there is no shortage of dating apps available. The most notorious hookup app, especially among the younger folks, remains Tinder, with its popular “swiping” feature: online daters use right or left swipes to “like” or “dislike” photos of other users (if each of you swipes right on the other person — it’s a match). Tinder now reports 1.6 billion swipes and 26 million matches a day. Bumble is America’s second favorite app, and its swiping feature comes with a catch: Anytime there’s a match, only users who identify as women can text first. Some apps like Hinge removed the swiping feature entirely, and instead, users spark a conversation with a person of interest by liking their photo or commenting on a prompt in their profile, such as “a life goal of mine” or “the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done.”

Kelly, 27, has been using Hinge and Bumble for three years, and says that for her, getting matches is easy. The hard part? “The annoying small talk.” She goes on to say, “Don’t ask me what my favorite color is because I’m going to ghost you.”

And ghosting is made easier with a seemingly bottomless list of potential matches on the apps that can make it seem as if there is always someone better than the current date. If you detect a flaw (no matter how minor) that makes you suddenly lose interest, there are still plenty of suitors awaiting in your phone. The more options you have the more superficial your criteria will be. So, how do these dating apps really work? Since users don’t know which swipe will bring the reward of a match, apps like Tinder use a variable ratio reward schedule, which means that your matches will be randomly dispersed. It’s the same reward system used in slot machines in Las Vegas. Dating sites are in the business of keeping users swiping, looking at their advertisements (on Tinder, you might accidentally swipe right on an ad), and paying monthly fees for extra features that should supposedly make finding matches easier, such as Bumble Boost (which costs up to $25 a month and adds 24 hours to the time users have to break the ice with their match). In the midst of the swiping fever in 2015, Tinder began o limit the amount of daily right swipes to 100 for users who don’t buy into their premium service, Tinder Plus (up to $30 a month). Even though Tinder, OkCupid, eHarmony have managed to keep the secret behind their matchmaking process a

secret, researchers at Cornell University have cracked that can wide open.

These days most online dating apps use their AIalgorithm to match new users on the following factors

initially –

1. The agreeableness level

2. Closeness preference

3. Romantic passion range

4. Extroversion or Introversion level

5. Importance of spirituality

6. The level of optimism or happiness

In addition to these criteria, the algorithm then adds on the new user’s location, height, religion information to draw matches for users. So, you can see that the algorithm polls in all this information and draws in matches that are closest to the new user’s preference. Hence, you can thank math for that lovely date you had last Saturday.

So, technically, yes, there are ways to play with the algorithm but, it is never advised to do so. Because, even if it is preferential dating math, being yourself online is the best way to be. Algorithms of dating apps expect their users to use their applications genuinely. Don’t try

shortcuts. One of the things that all these sites have in common is this: They insert fear that unless you are on theirdating site you will NEVER find your “soul-mate.” They tug at your heartstrings to make you believe that you mate is on the other side of your computer screen. Research done by Villanova University, Northwestern University and Psychological Science in the ublic Interest (PSPI), back this up. Here is a fact: Romantic relationships can begin any time and any where. You can be at school, church, a coffee shop, playing a sport, or be at a friend’s party. Sometimes though people go through stretches where they hit a rut in the romance department and freak out. Most likely when you hit a certain age you freak out more than “usual” because you have relatives, friends and even strangers giving you the sad, pathetic look because you are “single” and that automatically makes you “unhappy” or “lonely.” Lets be honest here, just because you are single doesn’t mean that qualifies you as a lonely, unhappy person, where you are going to now be the next owner of seventy-two cats to compensate for your single-hood.

eHarmony and Match.com claim that their mathematical formula really identify pairs of singles who are especially likely to have a successful romantic relationship. With that said, how do they know how two people will interact once they have been matched? Do they check marital stability and marital satisfaction, not only marriage itself after two people

from their sites get hitched? What are divorce rates for sites Match and eHarmony? Do their claims that “1 in 5 relationships start online,” and “We’ve conducted years of extensive research and know what makes relationships last,” true or are these dating sites all part of an elaborate hoax pulling at a person’s heartstrings? According to Pew Research Center, larger shares of Americans who are currently using dating sites or apps or who have done so in the past year say the experience left them feeling more frustrated (45 percent) than hopeful (28 percent), citing among other things lack of personal and emotional connections, safety concerns,focus on hookups and “too many options.” As an example, the 10 million active daily users of the popular online dating application Tinder are on average presented with 140 partner options a day. While one may expect this drastic increase in mating opportunities to result in an increasing number of romantic relationships, he opposite has occurred.

Online daters indeed became less satisfied with the search proves as the number of profiles they look at get into the hundreds or even thousands. This is called, choice overload where people undermine their ability to make a good, well thought out decision due to having way too many options available to them. This has been proven that when looking through thousands of dating profiles becomes painful, this starts to decrease their level of interest and it might also undermine making a relationship work once offline.

Having extensive choice can have various adverse effects, such as paralysis (i.e., not making any decision at all) and decreased satisfaction . In fact, it seems that people generally experience less benefits when they have more choice. This observation is reminiscent of the basic economic principle of diminishing returns in which each unit that is sequentially added to the production process results in less profits.

There is some evidence that having more choice in the domain of dating also has negative consequences. For example, when asked to pick the best partner, access to more partner profiles resulted in more searching, more time spent on evaluating bad choice options, and a lower likelihood of selecting the option with the best personal fit. Likewise, when a choice set increases, people end up being less satisfied with their ultimate partner choice and more prone to reverse their decision. The adverse effects of choice overload are also mentioned in articles in popular media mentioning phenomena such as “Tinder fatigue” or “dating burnout”

Study after study found that online dating will set off a rejection mind-set, leading people to become increasingly likely to reject partners to the extent that they have been presented with more options.

Every dating site has an algorithm that they use in matching people together. It is not “fate” that helps you meet the person, it is artificial intelligence. Do scientific algorithms — including those used by sites like eHarmony, PerfectMatch and Chemistry to match people according to similarities — can really lead to better and more lasting relationships? The answer is no. There are certain properties of online dating that actually work against love-seekers, the researchers found, making it no more effective than traditional dating for finding a happy

relationship. eHarmony’s system is flawed because it relies on conclusions from married couples and a fundamental premise that similar people will be happy together in the

long-term. But married couples often project similarities onto one another and adopt similar interests over time, so those are the results of a relationship rather than what inspires them in the first place. Match and the other apps use the same type of recommendation system used by Netflix or Facebook, taking your past behaviors (and the behavior of others)

into account to predict what you’ll like next. To understand how many dating app algorithms work, it’s useful to compare them to Netflix. The streaming service’s “trending now” category surfaces content other people enjoy. Many dating app algorithms work similarly, surfacing profiles popular with other users. The problem is a popular profile isn’t the same thing as a good individual match. Netflix also relies on users with similar viewing histories to generate content suggestions. Dating apps do the same thing, surfacing profiles based on other people’s swipe habits. If you swiped right on Harry and Sally swiped right on Harry, you might like someone else Sally swiped right on. Once again, the algorithms aren’t tailored to individual users, but lumping people together in a fairly superficial manner. Algorithms can take into account how frequently you log on, how often you swipe right, how you strike up a conversation, and even how often you exchange numbers. Users often self-sabotage without even realizing it. On Bumble, if you simply say “Hi,’ Bumble learns that you’re not making an effort, so it sets you back a notch. Before you know it, the algorithm makes a ton of bad assumptions based on your behavior and you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of undesirable matches. Despite longer questionnaires and bios, matchmaking sites like OkCupid aren’t any better. The truth is none of these sites really has any idea what they’re doing— otherwise they’d have a monopoly on the market. { Source: Wired / BBC / Vox}

And it gets worse from here: One study published in Science Advances found that among men who use dating apps, when deciding on what kind of woman they want to date many will choose a woman younger than them rather than a peer their own age. The study found that a when it came to age women typically found men up to the age of 50 very desirable. On the other hand most men only found women desirable up to the age of…. 18. (Yikes!)

Considering that women who are 18 are just one year up from being a teenager it’s a little bit concerning and creepy. Not only are the findings of the research disheartening or women genuinely trying to date through these apps but it is also majorly concerning that so many men across different apps and sites are messaging teenagers. { Source: Discover / Her / }

New research from William Chopik, an associate professor in the Michigan State University Department of Psychology, and Dr. David Johnson from the University of Maryland, finds that people’s reason for swiping right is based primarily on attractiveness and the race of a potential partner, and that decisions are often made in less than a second. While attractiveness played a major role in participants’ decisions to swipe left or right, race was another leading factor. Users were significantly more likely to swipe on users within their same race.

A growing body of research suggests that readers of your profile assess your attentiveness and intelligence based on grammar, spelling, and typos. Two recent studies analyzed the roles played by writing in online profiles. While this plays a small factor, a lot of people try to claim that if you post good pictures, have a good headline, have a well written profile and write a lot of people you’ll do well. Yes, good pictures help, but you have to have a certain level of appealing looks for those pictures to work. Here’s the reason why pictures are 99.99% the reason people swipe right or left. First: On (most definitely all) dating websites and dating apps the first thing that a prospective partner has the chance to see about you is your face. Your profile picture to be more accurate. Not your interests, not the schools you went to, not the travels you made. It will be your photo. Second: NO ONE, in the history of online dating as ever said “I don’t find him (or her) particularly attractive, but I will check the rest of his profile to see if I feel a connection with him through his interests, life philosophy, past experiences, etc.” Third: If they like your profile picture enough they will check the rest of your profile as well BUT they will start with the other pictures. And only after checking all of them and deciding that you are attractive enough, will they check the rest of your profile.

You can continue reading HOW dating apps get you to buy into the idea that the only way you can meet someone work, why you should NOT be using dating apps and HOW to meet people, and how the NFL players use this app, among other dating topics, in my best selling book “Relationship Impossible”

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Zach Wilson’s Nightmare PR Scenario

When you are the young guy who plays Quarterback for a NY football team, you are in the limelight and therefore, treated differently, better almost. People pay attention to your every move. You get invited to watch hockey games, baseball games, etc. You basically get treated as a king. And when you are portrayed as the the young, clean-cut guy from Utah, and you now not only break that image, but you create an entire nightmare based on your off the field activities… your entire reputation is at risk.

Bring in the scene where Zach and his girlfriend Abbey broke up in January. They looked genuinely happy together so what gives? Then fast forward to February and March where Zach was seen working out and creating an entirely new body. As soon as Zach started to work out you knew he was the one who got dumped, but why? No one could figure out why a girl would dump a guy like Zach… until today.

Word got around Instagram on a post that Abbey later deleted but was screenshot by millions, that said they broke up because he cheated on her with his mom’s best friend.
Wait.. WHAT?

Yes, you read that correctly. Of course all the guys who thought , “Dude, this is awesome!” had memes and posts galore on how he is a “hero, or Legend” for fucking a mother … a “hot one” but what has come to light is this:

  1. When a woman cheats on her man she is given the scarlet letter and shun. But when a man is the one who cheats on his girlfriend with a “hot mom” he is shown the royal treatment.
  2. There is a family involved – Supposedly a little 3 year old kid not to mention a husband.
  3. His mom of course is going to defend her “little baby” as she likes to call him even at the age of 23, which seriously needs to stop, but that is a story for another day. She has gained MANY new followers on her Instagram account which looks PATHETIC.

    Now, here’s my view on his mom defending him as well as what this does for Zach Wilson going forward.

Homewreckers want to claim the victim status because they hate the idea that the only party who is innocent in the cheating, is the person they are vying against. It makes them look like the shitheads they are.
They create attitudes like, “It’s not the other man/woman’s fault, Blame it on your husband./wife they married you” to deflect the fact that they have become the deviant person that lacked enough scruples that they chose to go after a man/woman already involved in a relationship.
Yes, this woman is also at fault simply because SHE KNEW better!

No matter that what they do could affect the couple’s children and their well being. No matter that they could interfere with the other person’s financial well being. None of that matters to a selfish person choosing to deliberately make a play for a person in a relationship. Because in their odd world or rationale, humanity only involves humans THEY care about and THEM, not the people they want to purposely screw over. So humanity snarling at them doesn’t sit well.
But when they actually ruin the relationships, they no longer want that whore status. They want to suddenly be recognized as the man’s/woman’s “prize.” And after all, how can you be a prize when most people, including most family members only know you as the whore that broke up so and so’s relationship?
So they whine and cry like most narcissists do when they can’t get the respect the husband/wife had. Because again, they are cast in a second place status, behind him/her. Zach is the guy that will forever be the whore that broke up that marriage.

Homewrekcers play victim because they know that they ruined others’ lives and this is a way of their self-defense from any judgment or follow-up action from the society. They are aware of their “homewrecking” feats in their heads but they can’t show it to people. Society does not have value for “decorated homewreckers”. Any form of confession will bring them the social reputation of pests like lizards and cockroaches.
So they pretend to be victims and instead shift the blame on their real victims. But the good news is homewreckers are humans after all. They have to live with their guilt by themselves, possibly for their entire lives. They can run away from people but they can’t run away from themselves. They would sleep well first but eventually their own acts will start to pile up their sleepless nights, overthink about their own relationships and ultimately suffer with the reality of not being able to confess to friends or families and get the guilt out of their minds.
See, what Zach Wilson did is really not that uncommon, sadly. But to celebrate his “feat” on social media, makes all the fans and even some of his teammates look arrogant, ignorant, and immoral. Married folks are OFF LIMITS! Zach now has created this shit storm that he is going to have to LIVE with the entire football season. And it may even have an effect on how he plays this year. ( at least it will be brought up as a reason!)

His mom needs to stay out of the way… His son created the mess and needs to be the one to fix it. I give kudos to Abbey Gile for exposing Zach as the person he truly is… what happens from hear on out remains to be seen.

Oh, just a little general knowledge on cheating in relationships:

In general, men are more likely than women to cheat: 20% of men and 13% of women reported that they’ve had sex with someone other than their spouse while married, according to data from the recent General Social Survey(GSS).

Men and women can cheat even if they love their partner. They may do so because their emotional needs aren’t being met, they have low self-esteem, or if there are serious problems within your relationship or in their life. It may be easier for them to cheat than talk about how they are feeling.

How does cheating affect a woman?

They affect the other partner both physically and mentally, making them experience; Anxiety and depression. Rage and post traumatic stress (PTSD) Increased distress, self-blame, and shame.

Cheating is wrong. If you are not happy in your marriage or relationship that is what divorce and breaking up is exactly for! When you cheat you hurt more than just your partner that is involved. You hurt your friends, family, and everyone surrounding the situation.

THINK before you CHEAT.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Romantic Gestures: Men Get a Pass, Women Get Labeled.

When men attempt bold gestures it’s considered romantic and sweet. When a woman attempts them, it’s considered desperate and crazy. Watch any romantic movie and they will tell you the same old, boring, story: If you want to win the love of your life, an over-the-top romantic gesture is the way to go. But hold on, wait a minute, those bold gestures are for the man to do, not a woman.

When Maroon 5 sings, “Baby, I’m preying on you tonight/Maybe you think that you can hide/I can smell your scent for miles,” hardly anyone flinches at the creepy craziness of these lyrics. But when Taylor Swift writes a song, people accuse her of being spiteful, vengeful, and retreating to her crazy woman-den to write mean songs about men.

The vast majority of women may be totally “normal” in a relationship. But then you see one woman acting jealous, insecure, or worse, going after a guy they want and you think, “See!? Women are crazy!” See, when a woman does something “crazy,” like show a man a bold gesture, it’s because she is crazy. When a man does the exact same thing, it’s because men are romantic and strong.

The reasons are simple though: Women feel more emotions than men — it’s that they’re more likely to talk about it, therefore when men actually show emotions, it’s them as weak. But when they show a romantic gesture, it shows them as the hunters, the strong vital man who hunts down his prey in order to salvage his manhood. Back in the day the romantic gestures were; opening the door for her, giving her flowers, taking her out on romantic dinner, giving her kiss on her forehead, basically be a gentlemen. Today that chivalry is nonexistent. It’s all about how far you can get with a woman today. Guys today don’t realize just how much we women want the old fashioned chivalry to make a comeback.

Men don’t like women to be initiators. At least the majority doesn’t even though you see men do Tiktoks where they “claim” that they enjoy being pursued. Now, it is important for me to add, that there are men who don’t mind if a woman asks him out, but that percentage is about 15%. The other 85% still want to be the hunter, “so to speak.”

So to the other 85% of men who assume that when a woman asks you out or presents you wilth a bold gestures let me tell you a few things: 1- yes she is bold and forward to ask you because SHE LIKES YOU! 2- NO, she is not pushy, demanding or controlling. 3- This idea that cannot be her protector because she is the one who asked you out is absurd! EVERY woman wants to be loved and feel protected no matter if you ask her or she asks you! 4- She will not make you submit to her will! Please! Now, if you date a woman who knows what she wants, doesn’t that make it easier for you? and finally 5, She will value my achievements and your dreams. Just because she approached you doesn’t mean that she doesn’t value what you bring to the table or what your goals in life are- that idea is so ridiculous!

If a woman asks you out, that is a compliment to you. She sees something in you that she wants, and she wants to get to know you. Embrace it, enjoy it and stop with the gender double standards. Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. It shouldn’t matter at the end of the day, who asked who out, but the relationship that the two of you share.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Cheating, Athletes and Social Media

I woke up yesterday morning and did what I usually do, open up the Twitter app to see what was trending, as what good social media experts and content creators do. Seeing two hockey players trending: Connor McDavid and Sammy Bilas and then looked up as to why they both were trending. I knew from some of the posts that it was not about hockey. I did not have to look that far to find out that Connor McDavid has a video surfacing of him drunk holding the hand of a girl and walking with her-and this girl was NOT his girlfriend Lauren Kyle.

Now, I have trashed NFL players for years on relationships and have always said that hockey players are the best athletes – they are genuine, appreciative of the fans, and just plain more fun. But that does not mean that you are going to have some guys who are NHL athletes do what guys everywhere do: cheat on their wives or girlfriends. Note: this is why some NFL players think they are being “smart” by not putting whom they are dating in their IG feeds or posts on Twitter. Two reasons: first, if there is no “proof” no one can say that they are technically “cheating” and secondly, it leaves the door wide open to sleep with as many girls as humanly possible. (Which is why you see the girl they are with in their stories- that shit disappears in 24 hours)

Back to Connor McDavid now. Everyone knows that he has been dating Lauren for quite a while. You’d have to be living under a rock on Mars to not know that he was taken. As I said on Twitter, girls do better research than the FBI; we all know your situations whether you post about them or not. With social media it’s 10x easier to figure stuff out AND there are tons of websites that actually keep track of this sort of thing. ( PLUG: Who dated who ) So, us girls know what the story is and you know what, sometimes we play stupid to it just to see what you guys are going to do. Yes, dogs can’t outsmart foxes. And some of you guys are dogs- and that term is not meant as a compliment.

Connor has NO excuse to cheat on his girlfriend. But as I have found out over time, some guys are just never happy with what they have, who they are with, and they are constantly searching for better when they already had the best. You see that A LOT with NFL players. They are never satisfied with anything. They need more money, more materialistic things, and more women. Am I surprised that a wholesome guy like Connor cheated? No. But I don’t want to hear him say, “I was drunk and had no idea what I was doing or where I was,” the video clearly shows that he did not like the fact that someone videoed him. He has to know that he is seen as public figure and whatever you do in public is fair game. He also has to know that people are going to recognize him without his uniform on too. Also, guys cheat out of anger, jealousy, or a desire for revenge. Even if their partner hasn’t cheated on them but instead if they’ve done something to upset their partner. And if you check Lauren Kyle’s IG, the last picture she posted was her in the WAG jacket at this game, so yeah they were together. Most couples scrub their social media when they break up. ( Note: if you don’t know what WAG means it refers to wives and girlfriends of high-profile sportsmen)

But what I also said on Twitter is that the girl who held him hand and walked with him, and God only knows what else they did that night, deserves as much shit as he is getting because she had to know who he was and that he was taken. I don’t want her to give an excuse that she didn’t know, especially with the crowd surrounding him and the fact that someone shouted out his name. Girls know three things: 1) If the guy is taken 2) Where they hang out and 3) how to be seen. Watching the video for like the hundredth time- she knew what she was doing. I also want to state something about Lauren Kyle and social media:- It is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL to tag her in responses on Twitter and IG talking about what Connor did. Have some dignity and also respect for her please. She’s not the one who cheated, she’s the one who got cheated on. Know the difference. As to dating athletes, this does not change my view on hockey players at all. I still think they are most down to earth guys on the planet, having met my share of them.

Switching gears, let me briefly touch on Sammy Blais for a moment. His sister supposedly graduated from either grad school or colllege and posted a picture of herself on IG. Sammy commented underneath, “Sexy babe” and the world lost its freaking ass mind! If you have a sibling then you know that siblings have inside jokes, pick on each other, and like to cause trouble with each other. Also the word sexy does not always entail looks but confidence. You all look like asses for making a terrible assumption.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Just Ask Her Out Already… and other relationship ramblings

I love it when guys go: “She’s never gonna go out with me!” Hey dude, did it ever occur to you to just ASK her? Stop playing games and the negative mindset and ask her.
Guys today play the double edge sword game: They want to STILL be the ones to ask the girl out in 2022 BUT then you hear that they “don’t mind” having a girl ask them out.
Um, which one is it? Seriously.

I don’t want to hear that women who ask guys out are aggressive and intimating. Girls who ask a guy out are doing themselves the biggest favor. They are picking out a male human being who they like, as opposed to hoping for the right guy to come along and ask them out – which is a very passive, and a sometimes doomed way to approach the whole dating game. It does not matter if guys say no. It is not going to kill you. The same approach should be seen for guys. IF she says no, SO WHAT? Move the fuck on. Go find another girl and ask her out. The idea that your “ego” is going to be hurt is ridiculous when the fact is that you are WASTING time and energy ” hoping” she will say yes and you are wasting feelings on someone who wasn’t meant to be in your path.
Some guys stay single for years cause they’re too afraid of rejection to ask women out, when they can be just as afraid of rejection as women.

The expectations around dating are bullshit. Laying it all out on the line is a pretty good turn on if you ask me. But still in 2022, young people are told to follow “rules” that really they should not be following anymore. For starters, Girls taking the initiative to ask boys out directly contradicts everything we know about gender roles in relationships. She is making the first romantic overtures and asking the man to go out drinks, lunch, dinner, etc. This is still taboo because when a woman takes charge of anything, she’s automatically coded as masculine, because she is allegedly taking the man’s role. Women shouldn’t fear being masculine because it shouldn’t have any impact on their womanhood whatsoever. Sometimes waiting for guys to do something it is like waiting for someone to finally nail jello to a tree, meaning it never happens. The entire human race could have died out years ago if women sat around always waiting for a guy to make up his mind and ask her out.

But I get why most women don’t ask guys out: Women are discouraged from pursuing men because that suggests impatience or force. Women are seen as desperate or needy when that is far from the truth. Much of men’s authority in relationships is derived from having the final say on relationship decisions. If you want your relationship to start out on the right foot and be sure that you have a “real man,” you should wait for him to ask you out. Or at least, that’s the message we send out today. Again, I will repeat myself: Women LOVE men who are controlling but we don’t like men who try to control us- there’s a difference. Having a guy control a situation and stand up for us, support us, want the best for us, etc … that shit is real. But having a guy control who we CAN be, who we are, is not cool at all.

Bottom line: 1- there are no “leagues” when it comes to dating. Don’t think that ANY guy or girl is “outta your league” that is NOT a positive self-image to have for yourself.
2- While most men have been conditioned to always make the first move, some men would actually appreciate taking the back seat once in a while. To them, it is in fact refreshing and a huge compliment to have a girl ask them out for a change. (Those are not the cocky, narcissistic, petty guys, those are the real men (hockey players) that know it’s a compliment for a girl to ask him out) 3- Just as we ladies HATE it when men play games with us, the more straightforward we are the better. Sometimes we think we need to drop lots of hints to show that we want to ask them out. However, the best approach is to just be very clear about it for example by saying, “I would love if I take you out for a drink, coffee, lunch, dinner…” Hints and signs will not get us anywhere with men. 4- If there is a girl that you have your eye on guys, ASK HER OUT. Just do it. Stop playing scenarios in your head and ask her- you really don’t have anything to lose. Seriously.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI. Hello, Stefon Diggs, having 2 women in the SAME hotel but different rooms on Valentine’s Day! Like no one was going to find out- seriously and as I have written many times, NFL players do this shit constantly. This is why I never ever will date an NFL player. They have to be the most superficial, selfish, frustrating men on the planet when it comes to relationships. The only genuine and down to earth athlete that I would ever date would be a hockey player. And if you read some previous posts, I even told you which one I would date in a heartbeat and why. I dated back in the day a guy who tried out for the Cowboys and I dated a guy back in the day who was in the minor leagues for the NHL, so I can see the difference since it’s night and day, for those at home keeping score.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing or like I have mentioned before guys creating fake accounts to follow me on social media to “ see what I am up too.” Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, or interested now in, by either pretending to be a woman, getting a woman they know to befriend me or creating a burner account on social media.

What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

I started to think the other day though, women complain that guys don’t know what we want and guys complain that we won’t tell them. I seriously think there is a miscommunication on this point because mostly we don’t focus to understand, we only wait to respond. So here are a few things that woman want all the men out here to know:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4- Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap and don’t come back either.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Guys in your twenties, don’t knock it until you try it.

( The video attached is for those over the age of 18 )

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow! Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? What is this world that we live in!

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage but that doesn’t mean he lacks communicating. Be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)
And remember, character over looks; personality over money; and loyalty over materialism.