Every Summer Has A Story

Its that time of year again when I am reminded that, “”In every girl’s life, there’s a boy she’ll never forget & a summer when it all began.” Love may start in Spring, but it evolves in Summer.

For me, I can remember way back when to the first summer love I had, in fifth grade. His name was Michael. He was the new boy in class and at first I did not like him at all. (Love/Hate relationships are always intense) He would drive me absolutely crazy by constantly shaking his pen when it ran out of ink. (Like shaking your pen is going to help!) So I came up with an idea to write him a note and tell him just how annoying he truly was. The only problem was that his older cousin was in eighth grade and when she found out that I wrote him a note and told him that if he didn’t stop it, I was going to then throw my pen at him, she kindly told me to cut it out.

And that is when the romance began.

We got to know each other so much so that he even sang to me at lunch one of those inappropriate George Michael songs. Once June came around and school was out, that is when our romance really took off. He would call me and we would hang out, but sadly like every fling, things ended the following year. Okay, so that is not necessarily a summer romance, and yeah, I was eleven, but its got to start somewhere for everyone.

Years later, when I was a junior going to be a senior in high school, that is when another “Mike” came into the picture. He was one year older than me and would visit his best friend who lived near me. That is when I came up with a dance group with all the girls that lived in my neighborhood and they danced my choreography that I created to all the hot songs of the 90’s. He would sit in his car and watch. When I would walk by his car he would stare and smile at me, and I literally felt like I was going to melt!

This particular story brings up even more memories that I won’t get into now, but trust me, some of those memories I am fond of while others are heartbreaking.

So what is the deal with summer, romance, flings, and love?

The summer time is when love seems to rear its head and capture our imagination. During the summer, we feel free, we feel the promise of being able to forget what has happened so far and the promise of starting over. Its a time when also, people want to show off all the winter weight they have lost, so people are actually more attractive in the summer then any other season.

The other reason why the summer time brings out the beast called love is because we get to meet people we never have seen before. Do you all remember the movie, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” and ho she met her fling, turned romance while on vacation? (Yes, its just a movie, but it does really happen!) We are more open to being impulsive, the sunshine is also brighter, we are happier, and the chance of turning a hot day into a steamy night is greater.

Ever hear the saying, “Live it up?” During the summer, that is mostly everyone’s motto.

So how can you have a summer fling turned romance?

The number one way is to GET OFF YOUR PHONE and GO OUT and enjoy life. Seriously, we are becoming too attached to shopping for humans with a swipe of a thumb that when we are out in our every day world, we don’t look at people as potential dating partners at all. We could be passing up a wonderful person and not really even realize that!
Yes, if you met someone even on Twitter, take that relationship offline.
There’s BBQs, bonfires, beaches, lakes, boardwalks, street fairs, etc. the point being is that everyone is outdoors doing their thing, why aren’t you out there flirting it up?

Get adventurous. Do something that you usually don’t do. Put yourself in a situation where you have to meet people- cross something off your bucket list. There are road trips, parks, and places that you can meet folks inside and outside.

Do you have someone in mind that you would like to even possibly date in the summer; this is the TIME TO ASK HIM/HER out! The summer time is the best time to get to know someone since mostly EVERYONE is more relaxed and less stressed. SO go for it… ask that person out. Now, speaking as a female, I prefer to have the guy ask me out, (been there, done that asking a guy out thing) and I am to the one to do the flirting first thing.

If really want the summer fling to last and turn it into the romance of your year or ultimately the one you end up with forever, the two things you need to remember are:

You need to express how you feel. There seems to be some unwritten rule that says summer flings have an expiration date and that we just assume the romance needs to be over with. But if you don’t ask or tell the person how you feel, you may actually be letting go of the person you were meant to be with forever!

The second thing you need to do is include him/her into your everyday after-summer- is -over life. He/She needs to see you, talk to you,when the beach days are over with and the colder weather starts to creep on in. But lets not dwell on this yet, for the summer is only starting and the promise of romance is in the air!

Two cheers to the summer and the potential of remembering a summer that began with a look, a smile, and a kiss.

Friends, Benefits, Lovers: The Vicious Cycle

Why does it seem that women use sex as a tool/reward/weapon in relationships to get what they want, in order to get their way while men do just the opposite?

(Some) men use love as bait to get sex from women, while (some) women use sex as bait to get love from men. Go figure, right? And they somehow think that this is a “relationship.” Yes, I have heard the term, “Friends with Benefits,” but I can tell you that just because there is a term, it’s not actually what is happening.

Every “friends with benefits” relationship that I have heard about, has always ended on a sour note. Women process sex through emotions while men process it through the physical aspect. Mostly, they go “through the motions” especially when it’s with someone they are not emotionally connected too. This is where that whole game of giving the other person what he/she wants, never ends up turning into what we planned in the first place.

Look at how some women try to get attention these days and the poor saps that fall for it hook, line and sinker.

You have women who dress sexy to get attention and when you point it out they say something stupid like, “I do it because it makes me feel good about myself to look good,” but they are total hypocrites because they only dress that way when they are purposely trying to get a guy’s attention. Yes, confidence is important if you want to succeed in life. And its important to feel good about one self, but it is necessary to dress or limit what you wear just to get attention? They dress in revealing clothing, then get upset when their objective is met…men/women staring at them. Give me a break! And you see all the selfies on social media with women who are HALF-naked and all the men’s comments underneath it… please STOP.

It gets annoying because some of us actually don’t want to be looked at as a sex object. Some of us females wants to be able to dress nice or wear that mini skirt because its the style, we like the designer or we want to wear it just because.

There’s a BIG difference between classy and trashy that most females today forget.

Then there are the men and athletes who are insecure, hungry for attention, want their egos boosted every chance in hell they get, so they use something that is precious to a female, love, to bait them into giving them what they truly want: sex.

Some men actually think that it’s okay if they use a woman to gain whatever it is from them. So they “fake” the relationship up to the point where you give in to their sexual advances and of a sudden that guy is “history.” GUYS: Save your games for family fun nights…..NOT Relationships!

It’s important for me to note that NOT ALL men and women are this way. But you will always have a case of a girl who is an attention-whore and in that case the guy who falls for her crap. Now, I have used the term “gold-digger” before and I will tell you athletes this: If a woman/girl is dressing in a certain way to get your attention and that is how she gets your attention, that is a red flag. A woman who enjoys your company, who makes you a better person, wants you to be successful, and makes you feel like you are on top of the world, and does not expect you to buy her expensive shit; that woman, is not a gold digger and I bet you met her when she was “clothed” – that’s the difference.

I don’t think its right for anyone, male or female, to lure a person into believing that they like them to the point where they feel there are having a relationship, when in reality they are just using them. Relationships take time and they are hard to find in this world. Where as today, so many people treat others like they’re as disposable as diapers.

So how can you tell when a guy or girl is actually interested in you- for you and not just as part of a conquering list? (Remember how in my last blog post, I told you that NFL players think it’s a flex to be with many girls?)

The easiest answer to that question is this; Every once in awhile, someone comes along that makes you realize-it is worth it. The best relationships happen unexpectedly. We never realize the power of a single human being until one comes along and conquers our heart. When you force yourself to fall in love or be with someone you are setting up yourself to fall and to fall short of the relationship you deserve. A “Friends with benefits’ relationship is telling you that you’re good enough to sleep with, but not good enough to invest feelings in. Real love is knowing someone’s weaknesses and not taking advantage of them. A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets and no lies.

Remember, a good relationship is worth the wait.

Relationship Impossible available now as a paperback and ebook on Amazon.

Guys, Stop Doing This When Dating

The following videos will give you some context as to what I am talking about but I as always will list things that guys do that are complete turn offs in the dating world. And even athletes of every sport does this more so NFL players… ( Updated below – which athlete would I date? )

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If you didn’t take a quick look at the videos I posted in this blog, go ahead and look at them and then come back to read the following. Here is a list of what guys do that turn off women ( notice I didn’t say girls) when they are interested in someone and / or want to date them.

  1. Being ghosted or ignored. One of the key ways most women judge how important they are to their partner is by how much attention they get from him. IF all you are going to do is ONLY contact her WHEN you want something from her, and you aren’t going to pay any attention to her at any other time- that’s a turn off.
  2. Guys worry more about their swagger. Men who talk a big game but can’t follow through don’t rank high on the attractive meter either. We don’t need to see you root for our favorite team, or show us photos of you working out and all that muscle, when the truth is, we don’t want the guy with the biggest and the best of everything. And we don’t want a guy to “fake” it either.
  3. Dating numerous women at one time. Simply put, women like men who are respectful enough to pretend they don’t notice other women (even when they do). Not following all the bikini girls on social media is also a plus I might add.
  4. Poor grooming habits. While sweaty athletes may initially turn a woman on, getting closer to the body odors that accompany them is another story. Most men want women to keep up with their appearance, so it’s fair to say that women don’t want men with pot bellies, dirty fingernails, rumpled clothes and disheveled hair, okay?
  5. Finally, Pick up lines. Why guys STILL use these is a mystery to me. A sense of humor and being sarcastic is one thing, but using these corny and somewhat offensive pick up lines… turns a woman completely off. Remember, playing games is a complete turn off. Just be your authentic self. Either you want to date her or you don’t, we don’t have time for fun and games.

Here is a list of what guys do WHILE they are dating a woman that is a turn off:

  1. They complain that their girlfriends need to lose weight.
    This here is what we call a dick move. Why are you with this person if you don’t already find them sexually desirable? Is your desire based entirely on appearance? Is your relationship based entirely on sexual desire? Or are you talking about this because you’re concerned about what other people think of your partner? If so, you’re shallow. As is Marlon Humphrey on the Ravens. (He tweeted ” How do you ask your GF to lose weight?” I can tell you that he’s not the ONLY NFL player that cares more about a woman’s looks than anything else…
    By the way, this is when a guy treats his girlfriend as a toy. If your toy isn’t making you happy anymore, do her a favor and get a new one so it can move on to someone who will treat her like a human being and want an actual relationship. Not someone who only wants a Barbie doll.
  2. Being lazy and relying on your girlfriend to always make the plans. The minute she starts to think, ” Why I am going to all this trouble,” is the moment that your relationship is sinking. For me, a guy should be equal in planning what we are doing, it should not always be up to me to decide.
  3. Even though you are dating, Being touched without consent is a turn off for women, I can guarantee it. Yes, there are times when we want to cuddle, want to touch you, want you to touch us, but knowing that line is the most important. For example, during our periods, we want to me left alone.
  4. Being overly cocky and close-minded. If you shut her down when she argues your point, it is not a good look. I dated a guy once who was too into me. I know it sounds conceited, but he was. He would constantly throw compliments my way and act like we were married. Learn some humility, and you might have a shot. Stick to being pompous and you’ll be a turn off for women everywhere.
  5. Not giving space- being too needy. Dating works when BOTH parties are ALLOWED to have THEIR lives and YOUR life together. You can’t be together 24/7- you need to have a little breathing room. Guys should be able to hang with their friends, girls should be able to hang with theirs, and everyone needs time alone. This is how you make the relationship work. Even married people need to have their own lives! You have to find the balance of the relationship, if you don’t you will end up alone.

*** As I stated in my recent podcast in a heartbeat I would date Ryan Lindgren of The NY Rangers. Why? His Character. Right now he is showing how he puts his teammates ahead of himself and he is playing in pain. The fact that he makes Adam Fox better and he makes the team play better. The fact that he has played with heart and soul, is down right attractive. Now, I’m not a chick who likes a big beard, but yes, Ryan is one hell of a sexy beast. But what makes him sexy isn’t his eyes, looks, no… it’s his character and there are SO many athletes that don’t show this at all. I wish we could clone him.
So see guys, it isn’t the amount of muscle you have, money you have or the amount of swagger you have that is what we want in a guy, we want a great character guy. One that shows exactly what Ryan is showing now and has all season long. And that is something that you can’t buy. ***

NFL athletes, dating, and mamma’s boys….

It’s an exciting time for a college athlete when they are drafted by an NFL team. Their dream of playing in the NFL is now coming to life. During this year’s past NFL draft we saw many guys that had their dreams come true and we also saw some guys get drafted by their hometown teams. Imagine not only getting drafted but also getting drafted by the team you rooted for or the team in the same state as your college! That must feel surreal.

But there has to come a point when their moms realize that their “little boys” are no longer seen as “little boys” and that they are seen as men. Last year’s draft pick Zach Wilson of the Jets has a wonderful relationship with his mom, he does, but this past weekend he was going to surprise her and fly home form Mother’s Day but she was in Florida with I would assume, her daughter’s All-Star Cheerleading team. I mean, hey, if that doesn’t tell you that he appreciates his mom, nothing will. But here’s my problem:

Check out what she wrote in her IG story:

Notice that she said, “My cute Zach…” Um, okay, Mrs. Wilson, he’s not 5 anymore, he’s WAY more than five…. calling him “cute” is okay when he was younger but he’s a GROWN man who plays in the NFL… calling him cute makes he look like a mamma’s boy and trust me, no guy in the NFL wants to be teased for that. Yes, he loves you, but he’s a man. Calling him cute on a public forum as he’s mom…. (insert not amused emoji)

Which brings me to the dating topic of conversation. Actually, it’s two-parts.
1) Guys that are “supposed” to be seen as tough guys, ya know, the ones in the NFL, can not be seen as mamma’s boys. Period. Yes, it is a sweet gesture to see them buy their moms houses, cars, etc, but that’s where the line is drawn. Should it be? That’s a different question, buy guys are picked on in the locker room about lots of things. Zach has come off as a guy that looks uncomfortable when his team mates are doing stupid high school shit, (AKA crushing up beer cans on your forehead, or the latest stupid video of the guys who were drafted last year videoing a message to the rookies – which really looked high school-ish.) Not only does he look uncomfortable doing some of those type things, and seriously who wouldn’t, but he looks uncomfortable at the podium talking to the press at times. Now would be a great time to tell you all that girls/women DO NOT WANT to DATE a mamma’s boy- EVER! We don’t want to have to have our relationship be interfered with due to him trying to please his mom over us. Also, we ain’t going to do all the mom shit for you either, in case you were wondering.

2) As I talk about dating, if you missed my podcast last week… The recordings of a fan girl #sarcasm I brought up the fact that when a guy/girl gets dumped they are the ones who go to gym to get a “new body” as a revenge to the person who dumped them. It’s not secret that Zach broke up with his girlfriend, Abbey. Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that after they broke up he started getting ripped.
Here’s the picture of him now:

Of course most of the Jets fans are making a big deal of this but seriously, the only reason he looks like this is because his girlfriend broke up with him. She stills looks the same FYI. AND whenever ANYONE says that the break up was “mutual,” trust me, it wasn’t. One party decided that they wanted to break up, and the other party just went along with it. The worse thing to EVER do is to go back to an Ex. Seriously, they call them ex’s for a reason.

One more thing about NFL players and seeing these guys do these intense diets and workouts. If you notice about the NFL 15 years ago, guys weren’t obsessed the same way they are now. And if you notice, guys 15 years ago didn’t get hurt as much as they do now simply because they did not fuel their bodies with only protein, which is the worst thing to do! I have a client who has a protein diet and with that diet they are told NOT to workout that much. Yes, you read that correctly. These guys work out like I have never seen, out all these protein / whey powders in their bodies… and then get hurt. Seriously, it is something to think about since their careers are not a given when it comes to injuries. Finally, let me say this about NFL players “claiming” that they treat their bodies like a temple. If that were true, they wouldn’t use tinder or any other dating app, and put STD’s in their bodies by having unprotected one night stands. And even with a condom… why would you waste that energy on someone who doesn’t matter to you and who isn’t meant to be in your life? If you gonna use Twitter to preach it, y’all better be living it.

Here’s my TIKTOK link: Come on by and follow me.
Here’s my YOUTUBE link: Come on by and subscribe so you can watch my show: The Recordings of a fan girl #sarcasm

Stay Sassy

This is an unusual blog post of Stephanie’s Sassy Corner…

I’m not going to be giving you advice on dating, on social media or even give you my 2 cents about football, or whatever else I throw into the fire. You see I have spent the past fifteen years becoming a expert in helping you understand how dating apps are only good at creating nightmares in your life, how social media has transformed business and of course you have my view on just about everything sports related ( mostly football)… I wanted to give you something that was different and out of the box. But now I see that as a broadcaster (that is what a content creator/podcaster is on social media) that we shouldn’t always be doing things that are trending but to do things that are valuable and post content that is REAL, RELEVANT and RELATABLE!
I have always been my real, sassy, blunt self on each and every podcast and blog piece that I have written, but now with that said, I am rebranding and refocusing my content so it stands for something that has clarity around my identity, narrative and purpose. Not only will I also stay real, relevant and relatable, but I will do it in a much different way.

I realize that even though I enjoy my podcasts, writing my blogs and social media posts, there was nothing from that they brought me instant joy. From now on, I want to live and enjoy every moment when I do my shows and write my blog posts and even do social media. I don’t want to waste time just doing it for the sake of doing it. So I will still talk about dating, dating apps, social media and of course NFL Football, it will be done in much different way!

Sassy Nation will still be the same day, Tuesdays and it will still be an audio only podcast.
The Sassy Show which is presented my Rockland World Radio which I have done live streamed on Facebook, will be moving to Youtube every other week on a Thursday.
The Recordings of A Fangirl #Sarcasm will now be an online entertainment show WITH video each week on Fridays. I will have some audio after show comments that will be just for subscribers.

And the Playing with the Boys podcast, will be a Twitter Space on Wednesday Afternoons.

I hope you will join me on my platforms and the way I do them change this week.
I no longer will be on Instagram – you can follow me on the following:

Twitter
Tiktok
Pinterest
Nextdoor ( which is the local page only )
LinkedIn
Youtube

For Sale: A Little Black Dress

In 2022 we all still having dating backwards and confused about “rules” we each have to follow. Men are told that they are the hunters and that they have to hunt based on superficial things. While women are seen as pieces of meat and can’t be aggressive, independent or self-sufficient. Women “need” a man, they can not just “want” a man.
Men can’t call or text a girl he likes after the first date for about three days, because that will make him seems “overzealous” and “too interested,” (God forbid he seems interested in her!) Also, a man needs to use a lame pick up line in order to start a damn freaking conversation, because they ain’t built that way! Heaven Forbid they have a regular conversation with a girl and then at the end of the conversation, give her his number!? Women can not make the first move, because that is a “man’s” job and she can not me too independent because the man is suppose to “provide” for her.
This here lies the problem: Why are folks so freaking caught up in “rules” and looking to Tiktok and Instagram for “dating advice” when the answer is seriously easy?

I’m going to give you the secret to why all the good women are still single and how a guy screws this up time and time again. Ready for the secret? Okay.

If guys would seriously STOP with their unrealistic view that women have to look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain way, y’all wouldn’t be single today. First off, the difference between a woman who acts fake and is real is so easy to tell – too bad most men are illiterate and can’t read. If a woman ONLY cares about how much money you spend on her on a date, where you take her, if you buy her gifts (or don’t) then she is NOT into you for the RIGHT reason. But if a woman enjoys your company, wants to have light conversations with you, doesn’t expect you to pay for EVERYTHING and is her goofy self right off the bat, then that is who she REALLY is and you should EMBRACE that!

The problem with guys is that they want to girl who “needs” them, not the girl who “wants” them and yeah, there is a BIG difference. Men who think it’s there “duty” to take care of her with everything, almost all the time choose the wrong partner while the man who chooses the girl who wants him, supports him and appreciates him is not the girl chosen half the time. Men who treat women as pieces of meat are the guys who are out there that complain about women. Women complain about men and their attitudes and the fact that they think they are the prey and can’t go after a guy or have to be a with a guy who is going to “take care of her” –

Women today don’t need a man to take care of them – we need a man who is going to just be himself, support us, as we support him, cheer him on, as he cheers us on, and just love being with us – period.

I’m so tired of having to pretend to be “needy” and need a hero to save me when in fact I’m my own hero, I can save myself. That shouldn’t be something that a man should be intimidated with, but instead celebrate. At the end of the day, we girls just want to be looked at as real people, not the ones who need the little black dress to seduce you into thinking that we are a fantasy, but that no matter if we are a size 2 or a size 12, have blonde hair or black hair, if we have a big butt or a small one, we are worth it and valued for our character and our personality. Looks fade, but that other shit lasts forever. If you want that woman who is going to love you regardless, and who is going to treat you right, then start focusing on what really matters. I am sure then you will find yourself a girl that a keeper.

Break… Break.. down

For my first installment of “Playing With The Boys” Football podcast, blog and book, I am breaking down the QBs from last season. If you want to watch the Reels I posted here are the 2 links for Zach Wilson and Daniel Jones.

The First Podcast edition will be April 27th, the day before the draft. Subscribe Here.

Now the break down of Zach Wilson and Daniel Jones. Here are a few observations to note: 1) Daniel Jones’ OC is better at showcasing his strengths than Zach’s OC and 2) Zach needs to work on the slant and short passes more while Jones needs to work on ball security ( it’s the complete opposite for each QB)

Observations On Zach Wilson:

Everyone was saying that he had a tendency to hold the ball too long before throwing.

His ball placement at the short, intermediate and deep levels was all over the place. In other words, many of the passes he threw were too high, too low or not easily catchable.

My observations were that the OC was not showcasing his strengths and also creating schemes that could work (as highlighted in the film)

Zach Wilson also did not have great pass protection on many occasions therefore could not have executed plays and therefore held on the ball trying to execute something when in fact he could have thrown more slants, more quick passes and had a few QB power/naked/ sweep and in/out instead of a lot of rollout throwbacks.

His ceiling is high and he has a great chance at jumping up as a premier QB in 2022 as long as everything falls into place.

Observations for Daniel Jones:

Daniel Jones can throw receivers open, can push the ball downfield, throws a good deep ball and has more mobility than many realize. He did pretty damn well with no real offensive line, no consistent receivers and he did go down in his total of fumbles from 18 to 11. He also stands his ground in the pocket and beats the blitz with the slant route/post skinny. He needs pass protection and add an elite WR / TE- Give him a full year with Barkley who is more than just a RB and the rookie WR Toney- he can make his mark as a good QB.

Mistakes NFL Teams Make When Drafting A QB

With the NFL Draft about 43 days away, you can bet that there will be some quarterbacks that will be drafted on day one. It’s definitely exciting when a team drafts a QB – simply because it is a brand new start for your team/ organization. Looking back as to some quarterbacks that have been drafted in year’s past; it is definitely smart to say that teams make mistakes when they draft a quarterback.

1- If I was an offensive coordinator in the NFL and I drafted a QB, I am making sure that I pay a visit to his college head coach to learn his playbook and the schemes that I can then use in the NFL to have my new QB ready as a rookie. So many teams ignore the college playbook and have the quarterback start from scratch with a completely new offense his first year.

2- Some NFL teams appear to be making an obvious mistake by taking quarterbacks who have good physical traits — like size, speed, and arm strength — but who struggle with the mental and mechanical skills — like accuracy, reading defenses, and making sound decisions when it comes to throwing the football.

3- Scouting is an inexact science; which means that experts disagree on the seemingly simple question of whether or not a quarterback is accurate. The decision to draft any player begins with the decision to have a scout evaluate that player in college. But the methods used for quarterbacks haven’t changed much in the past thirty to forty years, even as the NFL has changed drastically. This means that when a scout is sent to evaluate a quarterback, they mostly emphasize height, weight, and speed. Teams assume they can fix any mental problems and throwing mechanics to a greater extent than is possible.

4- There is a HUGE drop off in stats from college to the pros. Fans mostly see how a QB played in college and think those stats will occur in the NFL. The factors that are never considered as to how a QB coming out of college will play in the NFL are the offensive line play, production of receivers, opposing defenses, or coaches. People tend to forget that a quarterback needs to be developed in the NFL. College and the Pros are two different beasts and each player has their ow timeline as to when they will be “fully developed.” It’s also important to note, that the above, ( Offensive line play, talent of the receivers, and coaching play a big part in how well the drafted quarterback will play in the NFL.)

Coming on Friday, I will start the blog / podcast part of “Playing With The Boys” and breakdown Zach Wilson. ( There will be a video posted too)

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Why are women choosing to be single?

The number of women who are choosing this lifestyle has been growing long before we had to deal the pandemic. And long before we had to endure the last two and half years, single women had to deal with two labels: spinster and old maid.

There are many reasons we no longer use these terms: For starters its misogynist undertones and double standards can’t be ignored no matter how hard you try. A man, who choose the single life is called “A Bachelor” and they ever have a stupid show that celebrates that with it scripted of him having to make out with twenty five women in order to find “the one.”
The thing that I learned over the past two and half years is that, never marrying or taking a long-term partner is a valid choice but it is still sneered at as a woman who can’t “get a man,” when that couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s not that a woman “can’t get a man,” trust me, it’s that hard to do that. But she’s single because she is STILL waiting for a REAL man to SHOW up! There’s no point in dating and wasting your time and energy on a guy, “just to prove to others that you are desirable.” Why so many women think that they need to prove to co-workers, friends and family that they can date and will date is the stupidest shit ever!

Most women need to learn HOW to be SINGLE first, before they can enter the dating world and they don’t like to hear that. I know so many ladies out there that have this “need” to date and can’t see themselves as single. It’s like a curse – and then they go ahead and date the jerk just to say they are dating but then complain that he is a jerk!

And with dating apps and folks in such a hurry to get into ANY relationship in 2022, it’s sad to see women thinking that they aren’t strong enough to WAIT for the REAL DEAL to make an entrance- not the prince in shining armor, that ship sailed years ago. Why can’t women realize a) how strong they are and b) worth it to wait for that guy who sees what they bring to the table?
Women not only have to deal with PMS, periods and then menopause. They have to deal with still not making the same about of money as a man, but yet doing the same amount of work as a man. Women still have to deal with hearing their friends who are married and have kids ask them, “Don’t you want a family of your own?” Or worse- having to deal with family members who say things like, “I always saw you with having kids, isn’t that still something you want?” Men NEVER get asked those questions… EVER! yeah sure a man when he reaches forty and unwed may have to deal with his mom telling him to “grow up and settle down,” but if that guy has siblings and they have already given that mom grand-kids, he really is in the clear.

Being single myself, I am DONE with dating JUST to date. ( All the hook ups, one nighters) I rather focus on myself and accomplishing career goals while I wait for an actual REAL man to come my way. I find that younger guys are more in tuned with wanting to build something and aren’t afraid to be with a successful woman, whereas a man over the age of thirty-five is more threatened by a strong and successful woman. (My age range is from 23 (and yes, if you are a guy turning 23… ) -30 for all those who are interested to know and have asked me. If you want to know what else I am looking for a man, DM me on Twitter or Instagram, and I will tell you. ) Guys who are older than thirty-five are pretty much established in their work and in their lives – they are uninteresting, and have premeditated views on women that are not so pretty. Whereas the guys 23-30, are not established, have so much zest, zeal for life and are open to possibilities. There’s a lot I can bring to the table in a relationship with a younger guy. For starters, if we’re dating, I want to be your second priority. I want your first priority to be you, your ambitions, your life and your future, because seeing you happy makes me happy. Seeing you succeed pushes me to succeed. Finding happiness and security alone, are crucial to finding it together.
Your time and energy is better spent with people who make the effort to pay it back or forward. We laugh at people who still use Windows 95, but we cling to opinions we formed in 1995. It’s 2022, it’s time to be more open to women who are strong, independent, not afraid to speak her mind, and are open to sharing new possibilities with a man who sees what an older woman brings to table is undeniably something that can’t be found with girls in their twenties.

Some people are settling, some people are settling down, and some people refuse to settle for anything less than the real deal.

Is He or Isn’t He?

There are things that guys do on Instagram that show you up front that they are players and not legit meaning the guys you need to STAY AWAY from. ( Sadly, most of them NOT all of them are athletes, ya know, because they think they are superior to everyone else. )

  1. He won’t follow you on Instagram – This is a classic sign by the way. And the reason being is pretty much simply that he’s hiding a relationship, and wants women to think he is available when he is not. It’s classic because guys who are proud of the woman they have will show her off to their followers. Guys who want to let other guys know – she’s mine; she’s taken. If a guy doesn’t want you to be be his follower on IG, then he is simply hiding something he doesn’t want to see… and to top that off, ANYONE that still has a private account is surely hiding shit.
  2. He is a bikini account troll – He follows EVERY girl that his posing in her bikini, it doesn’t matter if she is a supermodel, an influencer, or the girl that leaves next door to him. He doesn’t want you to see that, hence why he hasn’t followed you nor wants you to follow you. By the way, most quarterbacks/athletes in the NFL do this and when they do it’s a sign that they are the most superficial guys on the planet. Any guy that ONLY focuses on a woman’s looks and that’s it, isn’t a guy you want to date let alone stand next too.
  3. Now, let’s change gears and let me tell guys how to understand if a woman is interested in you and also a word of wise to the ladies out here too! First, to the ladies: if you are interested in a guy it’s OKAY to pay attention to them, it’s OKAY to treat them like you feel a special connection to them because out brains are more psychologically primed to like people who like us. Don’t though only focus on him and him only. The reason being is that when you focus on more than one guy, the guy that is truly attracted to you, will lock you up and not want you to pay so much attention to other guys, Yes, jealously here is what makes guys realize that he wants you and therefore he will invite you to follow him on IG, he will post about you so every guy knows hands off, she’s mine. So guys, if a woman is paying attention to you it’s because she sees the best in you and wants you to connect with you. Again the brain does unconsciously attract others who share similar interests in. Instead of ignoring her and playing the stupid mind games, reciprocate back, have conversations, after all, conversation is the heart and soul of Instagram and social media in general. It’s okay to talk to folks who aren’t in your circle ( circles don’t have corners) – it also widens your horizons when it comes to learning and growing as a person. You never know what you can learn about someone when you take the time to have a conversation with them.