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7 Ways To Score Dates For Christmas

According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way thru the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty, if you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting genuine people in bars because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks.

 

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because sometimes (and usually) the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2018, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Dating After Divorce: What to do and what not to do

These days, it’s not uncommon to hear that someone is going through a divorce. In 2016, The median length for a marriage in the US is 8 years with 90% of all divorces being settled out of court.60 percent of second marriages end in divorce and 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.

Currently, the divorce rate per 1000 married women is 16.9. Many experts feel that this is a much more accurate measure of true divorce rate than the crude rate. The divorce rate per 1000 married women is nearly double that of 1960, but down from the all time high of 22.6 in the early 1980s. Here are some more interesting facts on divorce:

Every 13 seconds, there is one divorce in America. That equates to 277 divorces per hour, 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year. That means there are 9 divorces in the time it takes for a couple to recite their wedding vows (2 minutes.) More than 554 divorces occur during your typical romantic comedy movie (2 hours) And 1,385 divorces happen during the average wedding reception (5 hours).

So, if you are divorced and reading this, now what?

You might be hearing from friends and family, “You need to get out there.” But what you’re probably feeling is either, “I don’t think I’m ready,” or “How do I even begin to start dating again?” Since I’ve seen so many friends go through it, I’m a big believer in, what I like to call, “The Take 2 System.”

The Take 2 System is quite simple:

The first step is to realize that you should wait about a year before seriously dating anyone. Yes, that is a long time, but when you end a relationship, a marriage, the healing process takes time. If you are still in love with your ex, you will probably compare everyone you date to him or her. Rebound love always turns out to be a disaster. Take time to learn to love yourself and enjoy the small moments of everyday life.

The second step is to think about what you want, what you don’t want, and identified the deal-breakers.

After that, the next step is to be open-minded to the possibility of finding someone new. This is how you know you are ready. It’s also best to become friends with someone first, not just jump head first into dating someone with all the “fringe” benefits. By that I mean, having sex. Sex is part of dating, but if you are seriously looking for a relationship then you might want to pass on sex for at least six months while trying to get to know someone for who they truly are, and not for what they “claim” to be. Don’t date anyone that you aren’t comfortable with and don’t date someone that is “forced” on you because your friends and family think they found the “perfect” relationship for you.

There’s a difference between who we love, who we settle with, and who we’re meant for.

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Don’t Do These 4 Things If You Want Your Business To Grow

In business, as in life, some of the best advice I learned early on was not to try to be all things to all people, because it typically means you are only trying to please everyone, but yourself.  Most of the time we  jeopardize our true strength to focus on what we may not be successful at and create overall pressures for ourselves, our budget, and our company as a whole.  We tend to not focus on the tasks at hand, and place our focus on things that are not going to help in making our business better, but weaker. I have seen a number of very smart people get into business only to ultimately fail because they didn’t look at their business through the eyes of how to have success, but instead focused solely on having the “build it and they will come” mentality.

The first thing I have seen business owners do that will not help their business grow is take things personally when things don’t go their way.  What I mean by this is simply this; they think the world is out to want them fail.  That couldn’t be further from the truth! The world is not out to get you. The world wants you to succeed.  The saying, “It’s business, not personal,” strikes a cord with me. If business is going to continue, someone has to be held accountable. The purpose of business is to make a profit, change the world, let your voice be heard, and that other things, such as personal feelings, must not be allowed to prevent this.  Now, that doesn’t mean you can’t develop personal relationships with co-workers, team members, clients, etc. It just means that you can’t let that fog your brain when you need to make an important decision about your brand.

The second thing I have seen business owners do that will not help their business grow is that they don’t take their bills seriously and they are always looking to save money, by cutting corners. First off, the saying, “You need to spend money to make money,” is true to its core. You can’t expect to make money when you are afraid to take risks. You need to market yourself and your brand. You need office supplies. You need money for insurance, rent, stamps, staff, etc.  Cutting corners and trying to save a buck or two, usually never works out. (This depends on the corners you are trying to cut. There is a thing called the Internet that can help you save time and possibly money. But use it wisely.)   There are the companies that don’t understand that when you hire someone to help you succeed, or purchase a different service, you are paying for that service.  Therefore, you need to treat every invoice as you would want your customers to treat your invoices. You have to remember that everyone has bills to pay, not just you. Always pay your invoices on time.  When you don’t, that is a reflection on you and your character, not the company’s.(From which you are paying)

Thirdly, it takes a combination of strategic planning and creative thinking to ensure that a brand or business is successful. Going into a business without a plan is never a smart move.  I wouldn’t want to start a business if I didn’t know if I had opportunities for it to grow, how long it will take to get it off the ground, and what effort and amount of energy I need to put into the business for it to grow.  A lot of times people don’t realize that the location, location, location,  of your business is going to have the most effect on if you are going to succeed or fail.   For example, opening a deli on a street with no foot traffic isn’t a good idea.  But at the same time, today, social media is the only thing that is going to either make you or break you.  And most companies hire “big” name companies that whisk them off their feet to handle their social media instead of hiring local social media experts to handle the gig. If you don’t hire the right people to help spread the word on your brand, you mostly are heading for failure. And not to mention, you are headed for sleepless nights!

Finally, the most important thing NOT to do, is to give up on your business too early. In today’s world, everyone wants instant gratification. But with patience, perseverance and determination, you can have your business grow.  Remember, Facebook wasn’t making any money for a very long time, and it was considered a billion dollar business. Stick to the fundamentals.  Good things, sometimes, take time.

You can follow Stephanie on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

 

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5 DIY Ideas For Planning A Wedding

Planning a wedding can totally consume you with excitement, yet it can very quickly become very stressful. Any way you look at it, DIY (Do It Yourself) started way before someone came up with the actual concept and marketed it. Today, DIY weddings are all the rage and the main purpose of doing a DIY wedding, is to add some beauty without breaking the bank. Here are 5 things that you can do on your own,instead of spending money on.

5. Framed Blackboard Wedding Program

One of the reasons to do this is because paper programs are often thrown away. Having a chalkboard in the lobby, at the door of the church, or reception, adds fun, charm, and it’s a great communication tool.

4. Ribbon-Tied Chairs

You don’t need to break the bank on having all the chairs in the reception or ceremony decorated. With the selection at a craft store to chose from, all you need to do is purchase colors that your bridal party of wearing and tie the ribbon to each chair where the ribbon will flow in the back of each chair.

3. Place Cards

Today, place cards don’t need to be so fancy. You create the template, and you create the style in which you would like to use. For example, it can be as simple as a cardstock piece of paper, or as creative as using Instagram photos of your guests. The point is, it’s up to you to get creative and you can save money on this part of the budget.

2. Welcome Bags

Whether you have out of townees or family/bridal party staying over at the hotel, the welcome bags are easy to make and won’t cost you an arm and a leg to make either! You can chose from paper gift bags, to cloth bags, to even plastic tote bags, the choices are endless. With dollar stores springing up everywhere, picking up soap, shampoo, advil, etc, to fill the bags won’t cost you a bunch either.

1. Photo Albums

There is no need for you to have photographer put together the photo albums for your parents, in-laws, and your memories anymore. With sites online such as, Shutterfly, Smugmug, and Snapfish, putting together the priceless moments, has become easy, painless, and less costly.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Chapter Eleven: 7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

Chapter Eleven: 7 Reasons Why You Are Still Single( From The Book, Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd Ed)

“I hate being single!” or “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Singlehood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it first hand. There are those who are still single due to being left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then of course you have those people who call you “desperate.” Lets get one stereotype cleared up though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There’s a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate. But if you struggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.

This chapter is NOT for those people. The ones who are smart enough to take a step back, look at the situation, and go slow finding someone to have a real relationship with instead of rushing themselves to the altar, are the ones who will “win” in the dating game.

This is for those who are sabotaging any chance they get at having a relationship and there are seven good reasons why you are still single.

Let’s start off small:

1- You have annoying habits that scare people away.

I know someone who has this annoying habit of talking with food in their mouth. I also know someone who is obsessed with their blackberry or iPhone. You interrupt people while they are talking and talk about something else or just talk on and on. This behavior was another relationship breaker that was mentioned.

2- You don’t pay attention and constantly make the other person repeat.

It doesn’t cost anything to pay attention. If someone is talking to you and you are too busy doing something else, what does that say about how you value the other person? We as a society need to learn to listen better. Most people just listen for the cue to when it’s their turn to speak. They don’t actually listen to what is being said.

3- Loyalty, Honesty and Trust issues.

Let me give you the straight definition of each term. Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating or theft. And Trust is, the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. These three are tied together. When you don’t have one in any relationship, you don’t have any of them. When you are loyal, you don’t cheat. When you have faith that the person you love only loves you; then you have trust. And when you trust someone, you know that they are being fully honest with you about every aspect of the relationship.

4- You constantly talk about your ex or previous relationship nonstop.

I know some ladies who constantly talk about previous relationships as if they are still continuing. If you still talk about it, you still care about it. Period. When you have serious baggage you cannot and SHOULD NOT even start to think about having a new relationship. Work through and get over the previous relationship, before moving on to a new one. This is mistake that many single ladies make. They hop into a new relationship just so they can forget about how “Dave” ripped their heart into a million pieces, or they sleep with the first guy that glances over at them in a bar, restaurant, gym, etc. This is also very “desperate” behavior which signifies very deep self-worth, self-esteem issues. When you settle just for “anyone” to get over someone with whom you had an emotional and physical relationship with, you are setting yourself up for an even a bigger disaster. Then of course you have people who go out with someone just to get over their ex or because they fear being “alone” and then end up engaged but still hung over their previous ex. Here’s the thing: If you are not crazy about the person you are about to marry, take a step back. This doesn’t mean go chasing down your ex, since you cannot make someone else want to be with you. But you will be doing yourself and your future husband/wife a disservice by marrying them, when it’s obvious your heart is not in it. Remember, Love won’t grow just because you marry.

To get over an ex, you need time in between relationships. Jumping from relationship to relationship will not help you at all. The fact is rebounding is dangerous because you’re at your most vulnerable and have not had enough time to mourn the loss of your previous relationship and move on. You’re still suffering from heartbreak, even if you deny it. When you meet someone else without getting over the previous relationship, you don’t fall in love with someone but fall completely infatuated with the feelings you are feeling instead. You may gush over the rebounder, but the reality is, that you’re trying to recapture the feelings you had while you were with your ex.

You also have not given yourself time to look at WHY your previous relationship failed. Subconsciously you will make the same exact mistakes with this relationship that you just made with your previous one. So how long should you wait before getting involved with someone new? If you were together for six months, you wait 3 months. If you were together for 12 months, you wait 6 months. The key is to give yourself enough time to get through the pain you feel and get over him/her. That means erasing his/her number from your cell phone, erasing text messages, voice messages and deleting them from your social network. When you can do that, then you are over them.

5- You have a negative outlook on life.

First, don’t complain about someone not treating you right. If you know you deserve more, then why are you with them? Negativity breeds negativity just like positivity breeds positivity. If you have the “woe is me,” attitude, who wants to be around that and listen to it 24/7? I know that I don’t. Who wants to keep hearing how work stinks, how much you wish you could live somewhere else, or how everyone around you is having babies and families but not you?

6- You are oversharing too fast.

Making a full disclosure within the first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeletons” you reveal. Again, your new date doesn’t need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn’t work, your money issues, etc. Once you share something, you can’t take it back either. Over-sharing. It has always been a problem but has become more so in the digital age. Just look at Facebook and how everyone shares every aspect of their lives. Everyone needs to know everything about everyone. And that’s a bad situation for someone who is meeting someone for the first time. People with bad intentions can get your information and either manipulate you with it or share it with others you don’t necessarily want it shared with. Then you will have put yourself in a position you could have avoided. Also, do NOT become Facebook “friends” with new suitors either. I would actually block them from finding you on Facebook and then once you get to know them, and feel confident/comfortable with them, allow them to then become your online friend as well. Remember, less history equals more mystery. More mystery leads to more dates. More dates leads to having a serious relationship. And if you want to let your potential suitors see your Facebook page, then you must be cautious as to what you post publicly. Remember, what you post can generally come back to bite you in the ass. It happens all the time. Don’t let it happen to you.

7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex.

Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody’s “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn’t be based on looks, money or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)

You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.

In today’s society we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don’t fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL. Treat them with a dose a reality, not fantasy.

There is someone for everyone, just because you haven’t met that special someone, does not mean you never will. Take this time in your single life to focus on you and love yourself, so when the right person comes along, you can wholeheartedly share that love with them too.

The Links To Purchase Book are here: http://www.stephaniedolce.com

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Things Never To Text To Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Today it’s tempting to say anything and everything via text, and with the prevalence of emoji and GIFs has made it easy to express our emotions and feelings. But there are some things that still deserve the spoken-word treatment; especially to a boyfriend or girlfriend.

“We Need To Talk”

The scariest phrase to ever text to your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you need to talk, always do it in person. NEVER on the phone or in text.

“It’s Over”

Breaking up over a text message is the cowardly way out. Don’t do it over email, on a sticky note, sending flowers with a note attached, or even over the phone. Again, this needs to be done in person.
“I Love You” (for the first time)

Saying these three little words for the first time should be said face to face, not in a text message. How unromantic is that?

“My Period Is Late/I’m Pregnant”

Never ever text this to a guy! Unless you want to give him a heart attack.
“I’m Sorry”

Apologies are hard enough for some people to say, but if you need to say it, the best way is in person or even over the phone instead of putting it in text form.

The Double Text

You texted him at noon, and now it’s 3 p.m., still no response. Don’t text him the exact same text you texted him at noon! Just text him, “Did you get my text?” instead.

Fights

Fights are best conducted in person not over text. First off, you only have up to 140/160 characters to get “your point across.” And secondly, misinterpreting what you are saying over a text is easy.

Private Parts

When it comes to sexting, there are many reasons to stay away from it. Besides it being creepy and just very distasteful, images are not as private as you may think and can be forwarded and/or hacked at will. Plus, call me old fashioned, but sex in person is best.

Personal Information

In the world of rampant identity theft, it’s best to make a rule not to text sensitive personal information such as your social security number, bank accounts, or credit card information.

Secrets

Texting is not private. Texts are intercepted, forwarded and read by others. If you have anything that you don’t want the world to know about, never put it in writing on your phone. Again, this is a face to face conversation, not a text.

The Drunken Text

We have all either gotten one or sent one, but this is always a bad idea. Always. Not only are your messages likely to be inappropriate, but they are going to be the source of great embarrassment when you “come to” in the morning. I suggest that if you plan on going out and getting drunk to shut off your phone. You’ll feel better in the morning knowing that you didn’t send your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend that humiliating text.

Canceling Plans

Canceling plans last minute over text, screams, “lie.”

Texting 1 or 2 Words

The worse thing about texting is that mostly a woman will text a paragraph and the guy will respond with, “K” Never do that! It’s just rude and annoying.

The Late Night Text

Never text a girl with the words “hey u up?” No. No, we are not up. No, we are not interested in answering your six-letter text message at 1:37 a.m.

The “I’ll Throw Him A Hint,” Text

Guys don’t pick up on hints we throw to them in person. Do you really think he’s going to get what you mean via text? Nope. So, your best bet is to wait until you see him and do your best to actually explain what it is you want from them.

Your entire romantic future here could be determined by your text messages. How often do you actually pick up the phone to call someone? In our fast-paced world, it’s easier to send that text, but when you are dating, you want to call more than you text. We’re all really busy people, that’s not being disputed here, but it’s inappropriate to be texting all day long. If you try and find the happy medium, things will work out and you’ll be able to close the deal.

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20 Tips On How To Become A Better Listener

When people speak, do you listen, really, listen? Most people don’t. Instead they just wait until it’s their turn to speak. In relationships, communication is the most important factor in either keeping afloat or sinking. Here are 20 tips on how you can become a better listener or communicate better.

20. Do not answering your phone, retrieve or respond texts, shut off the computer, and turn off the TV. Despite what you may think, you cannot do two things at once well. And listening to what someone is saying should be your only priority.

19. Besides distractions causing people not to be able to listen to the person who is talking is the fact that sometimes we don’t talk directly to the person we want to speak too. We talk through other people or for other people, and what tends to happen is that the listener gets a mixed message.

18. If you plan on having a conversation with someone, one of the worse things you can do is dance around the issues you want to discuss in fear of hurting feelings or looking bad. No one is a mind reader! There’s a way to have an uncomfortable conversation without lashing out at the person you are talking too. Remember, how can you fix a situation if you don’t get the nerve to talk?

17. To become a better listener requires you to actually not be the one to do all the talking. Let the other person do the talking as well.

16. To break the ice with someone, use a means of communication that you are comfortable with. This helps loosen tensions and also helps you start the conservation.

15. Before cell phones or even telephones, people use to talk face to face. If you want to become a better listener you need to be able to read a person’s body language and you can’t do that on the phone.

14. Of course to get your point across sometimes the best thing to do is write it down. A letter is a great way of having someone “listen” to what you are feeling or wanting to say because here they have to actually focus in on what you wrote and they don’t get to interrupt your train of thought.

13. Know the signs of either changing the subject, moving on, or changing your tone. This starts with you. If you find your voice getting louder, step outside yourself and realize that the person you are talking to may start to get defensive. If you quickly change your tone you will save yourself from having an argument.

12. Screaming at someone isn’t going to help your cause at all. How can anyone listen to you if you are yelling?

11. This is more for the men out there than the women. Men seem to make big promises and then fail to keep them. If you are going to say things, live up to them. Because if you keep saying one thing and doing another no one is going to want to listen to you anymore.

10. You can use social media to your advantage when it comes to practicing listening. Again, it goes back to reading a letter. You need to read every word and let it stink in before you respond. So many people just like to make noise instead of making actual conversation online.

9. If you want the well rounded relationship, being able to communicate and listen are the two most important puzzle pieces.

8. If you have ineffective communication skills, the cycle will keep going until you fix the problems. And most likely this means that you lack good listening skills.

7. How can you expect someone to know what you feel, want, or need or you don’t speak up? Mind readers don’t exist. You can’t expect someone to want to listen to you if you never give them anything worth listening too.

6. It’s eye to eye not an eye for an eye when learning to listen! Use your ears, use your eyes, and focus on the person you are talking too.

5. A great listener knows when to take a break, enjoy the silence and then speak up. There’s nothing nothing with thinking about what you want to say before you say it. The smart listeners know how to throw the ball in the other person’s court. Silence = Listening

4. Great listeners pay attention and ask questions until they gain a deep and textured understanding of whatever situations they find themselves in. But in no certain terms do they disrespect someone’s point of view.

3. If you can’t listen to someone for whatever reason, take a time out. Tell them that right now it’s not a good time. If you want someone to want to listen to you, then you need to respect them when it comes to giving them your time and effort to listen.

2. Sometimes a great opportunity to talk your partner is when you are laying in bed together. Snuggle up and just have a conversation. You will be more in tuned to listen when you are laying close to each other.

1. Sometimes you talk just to hear yourself talk. When that happens you know that the other person isn’t putting forth the effort to really listen to what you are saying. Know when to retreat and return to a conversation at a later time. You’ll save yourself the aggravation.

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.

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Foolproof Dating Tips For Men

Ever since a man was a boy, he has been competitive. He competes for grades, competes for friends, competes to be on the varsity team and he competes for THAT girl. If you are a man and having trouble landing THAT girl, your problem stems from looking at it as a competition. Here are foolproof ways to get her; and to keep her. Some guys need HELP. Here are some foolproof ways to do just that.

1- You are at a bar and this woman catches your eye. Don’t talk yourself out of approaching her and actually flirting by saying hi. Instead what do you guys do? You throw a pick-up line her way and watch her walk away! Flirt but don’t be a douche. After you flirt with her and get her number, it’s important to woo her. Wooing her is the step you need to take in order to “land” her.

2- Frequently, set time aside to indulge her in romance. Go on a romantic trip, set up a picnic in the park, etc. So something that will in turn, make her smile.

3- Whatever decision you need to make, ask her for your opinion. Let her know that her thoughts and feelings matter. Displaying a chivalrous attitude is the perfect way to show your respect for the women in your life.

4- One of the worse things ANY man can do is to string a woman long and then go, “I just don’t want to mislead you.” Sorry buddy, but you already have! Let a woman know what your intentions are. If things are moving too fast, tell her to slow down. Don’t be shaky when it comes to being open and honest. Nothing pisses off a woman more than being taken for granted. Always show her that you care, that you acknowledge all that she does for you and always reciprocate your affection.

5- It doesn’t matter if you are married or in a relationship. There is NO excuse for cheating or lying. That’s what breaking up and divorce is for! If you aren’t happy, leave. But don’t disrespect your woman by cheating and lying to her.

6- One mistake most guys make is that they fear committing to a woman too fast. So you guys play games, beat around the bush, and in turn let her walk away. Then you get jealous when another man reaps the reward of your stupidity. As Beyonce sang, “If you liked it then you should’ve put a ring on it.”

7- Finally, don’t tell her that you plan to do something and then don’t follow through. Don’t let your actions say that you are okay with disappointing her. Once you do that, I can guarantee you that she will walk away. And you will be left not only wondering why, but you’ll have to work even harder to win her back.

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An Open Letter To Men Everywhere

Dear Guys,

When are some men going to learn how to treat women with consideration and respect? While some men know how to treat women kindly, the rest of the men just plainly don’t know how! See, here’s what some of you guys tend to forget: We all have been hurt in our past. Yet, getting back at the past while in the present is counterproductive and hurtful to others.

 

You can’t change the past. You can, however, learn to move past it. The girlfriend who dumped you, the ex-wife who made you bitter, and everyone else who did you wrong don’t matter anymore. The past actually shapes you into the man you are today. Remember, quit making excuses about your life. Nobody made you the way you are. You made that choice yourself. If you stay in the past, then you miss the good-hearted people in front of you, like the female friend you flirt with and are scared to date.

Some women are patient and will wait for you to be ready, while other women will just move on without you and leave you in the past.

Friendships with women are special, and very different from your friendships with the guys. If you want to keep their friendship and are the gentleman you say you are, then stop sending mixed signals. If you don’t want their attention, then don’t act like you do. And if you already showed your interest and then backed off with no explanation, you are then hurting someone who is very special.

Guys, why do some of you act like a person you’d never want near your sister? Stop the immature and hurtful behavior. Try honesty, respect and consideration, all ingredients for friendship. Besides, there is a thing called karma, and she never forgets an address. If you love her, then prove it. If you need her, then show her. If you never show her, then your words eventually mean nothing.

Think of it this way, would you want your daughters or sisters to be treated with such disrespect and dishonesty? Divorced men with daughters should remember that when you grow a friendship with a woman. Tell her that you are a family man. Don’t treat her like you are interested, only to spew the line months later, “I just don’t want to mislead you.” Karma will come back around when it’s your daughter’s turn to date. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Just know that the best way to handle any situation is to talk. Yeah, we know you guys hate that, but with communication comes understanding. Sometimes, all a woman wants is for you to fight for her. Make her believe that you may want this relationship more than she does. If you want your relationship to move forward, you have to let go of the past and learn to write your own future.

Sincerely,

Women Everywhere

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

15 Reasons Why You Are Still Single

“I hate being single!” or, “Why am I so unlucky in love?” Do these sound familiar? If so, then welcome to Single-hood. I will admit, some people are really unlucky when it comes to love. I have seen it first hand, but there are those who are still single due to those are left in the “pool” while others are single due to being their own worst enemy. Then of course you have those people who call you “desperate.” Lets get one stereotype cleared up though: I am not desperate because I am single. I am single because I am not desperate. There’s a difference. If you are running from relationship to relationship, then okay, you are desperate, but if you struggling to find someone and you have your standards, you are NOT desperate, you are smart.

This is NOT for those people. The ones who are smart enough to take a step back, look at the situation, and go slow into finding someone to have a real relationship with instead of rushing themselves to the altar.

This is for those who are sabotaging any chance they get at having a relationship and there are 15 good reasons why you are still single.

Lets start off small:

 

1- You have annoying habits that scare people away.

We all know someone who has this annoying habit of talking with food in their mouth. We all also know someone who is obsessed with their blackberry or iPhone. You interrupt people while they are talking and talk about something else or just talk on and on, was another relationship breaker that was mentioned. Other annoying habits that scare people away that were mentioned by people were not being given space and always feeling like they are smothered. Everyone needs space. In order to keep a relationship fresh and keep someone interested it’s important to remember that everyone needs down time.

 

2- You don’t pay attention and constantly make the other person repeat.

It doesn’t cost anything to pay attention. If someone is talking to you and you are too busy doing something else, what does that say about how you value the other person? We as a society need to learn to listen better. Most people just listen for the cue to when its their turn to speak, they don’t actually listen to what is being said. Focus on what exactly someone is saying, not just on the fact that their mouth is moving. Communication is key to any relationship and part of that is listening to what others are saying.

 

3- Loyalty, Honesty, & Trust issues.

Let me give you the straight definition of each term. Loyalty is faithfulness or a devotion to a person, country, group, or cause. Honesty refers to a facet of moral character and connotes positive and virtuous attributes such as integrity, truthfulness and straightforwardness along with the absence of lying, cheating or theft. And Trust is, the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. These three are tied together. When you don’t have one in any relationship, you don’t have any of them. When you are loyal, you don’t cheat. When you have faith that the person you love only loves you; then you have trust. And when you trust someone, you know that they are being fully honest with you about every aspect of the relationship.

 

4- You constantly talk about your ex or previous relationship nonstop.

I know some ladies who constantly talk about previous relationships as if they are still continuing. When you still have serious baggage you can not and SHOULD NOT even start to think about having a new relationship when you aren’t even over the previous one. This is mistake that many single ladies make. They hop into a new relationship just so they can forget about how “Dave” ripped their heart into a million pieces, or they sleep with the first guy that glances over at them in a bar, restaurant, gym, etc. This is also very “desperate” behavior which signifies very deep self-worth, self-esteem issues, because when you settle just for “anyone” to get over someone with whom you had an emotional and physical relationship with, you are setting yourself up for even a bigger disaster.

 

5- You have a negative outlook on life.

Negativity breeds negativity just like positivity breeds positivity If you have the “whoa is me,” attitude, who wants to be around that and listen to it 24/7? I know that I don’t. Who wants to keep hearing how work stinks, how much you wish you would be able to live somewhere else, or how everyone around you is having babies and families but not me? Always see the cup as half full instead of half empty.Your self-esteem and emotional strength depends solely on your manner of thinking and how you see things around you.

 

6- You are oversharing too fast.

Making a full disclosure within first few meetings can be disastrous since you are not aware how the other person is going to react to the “skeltons” you reveal. Again, our new date doesn’t need to know why you hate your family, why your previous relationships didn’t work, your money issues, etc. Remember, less history equals more mystery. By oversharing too fast, you have shown all the cards in your hand to your opponent. So now, you in turn give him or her more power over you and your emotions.

 

7- You have fantasy-like, unrealistic ideas about the opposite sex.

Sadly some women just want to meet a tall, handsome guy who has money and other perks that will make them live happily ever after. The problem with fairy tales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life, the Prince goes off with the wrong Princess. If all you want is to be somebody’s “trophy wife,” you really are setting yourself up for disaster, heartbreak, and torture. Relationships shouldn’t be based on looks, money or perks. Relationships should be based on personality, compatibility, and civility. There’s a difference between being picky and being discriminating. Being picky is about focusing on traits and other details that look good on the surface. Being discriminating is about using good judgment and focusing on how well a man treats you and how you connect with him. (same for a man, a woman should treat you with respect as well.)

You must be clear about what qualities you’re willing to live with and what you can’t live without.

In today’s society we are all told that men need to be with someone “hot” and that women need to find a man with money. Don’t fall for what society tells you. Look at how screwed up it is. Never apologize for having HIGH standards because people who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them. Stop dreaming about the fairy tale, stop wanting a guy to put you on a pedestal, and stop wanting the movie-like romance. Relationships are REAL.

 

8- You keep going after the wrong partner

This happens more than people realize. There is such a thing as “Bad boy complex” whereas women are attracted to a guy who is labeled as a bad boy type. Those guys are just after one thing, they aren’t after having a relationship, they are after scoring with you and moving forward, playing head games, and acting as if they care when they don’t. Or you are attracted to guys who are not emotionally available. Physically they want to spend time with you, but emotionally they don’t know if they are coming or going. If you don’t love yourself first, you will constantly be chasing people who don’t love you either.

 

9- You don’t take care of yourself

If you constantly let yourself go, no wonder no one wants to date you! Guys want ladies who take care of themselves. This includes things like wearing nice clothes, doing your hair, makeup, exercising and even watching what you eat. It’s not that you aren’t appealing; first impressions are important, then he won’t even waste his time on you at all. Remember, you don’t need to go overboard, but most men’s eyes are going to go the women who are more appealing. So save the sweatpants with the holes in it, for home, not for when you head out.

 

10- You’re being judgmental and insecure

We all judge, we’re human. But there’s a difference between having an opinion and judging someone based on outer knowledge. Hating on other women because you are insecure about who you are, is something men can’t stand. It’s one thing to want the same clothes, hairstyle and shoes, but it’s another when the jealousy gets so deep that all you do is compare yourself to them. All the negative talk saps out all the fun and flirtness from your partner. The only person you should worry about is yourself. Stop worrying about competing with others and focus on you.

 

11- You have sex with your partner too soon

According to YourTango.com, “If you sleep with a man the first time you meet him, there’s a good chance he may not call for a second date. Why? He may feel that he has gotten everything from you that’s worth getting. By not giving him more than a kiss the first night you meet him, he will be encouraged to continue the pursuit.” Having sex in the first few months of a relationship is what ultimately kills a relationship. It’s easy to become infatuated with another person, but lust doesn’t always lead to love. When the both of you are connected emotionally as well as physically, the sex will be so much more meaning.

 

12- You reak of desperation

Some women wear the tattoo on their forehead that reaks “I’m desperate!” When you stop your tired chase for love, it will show up. This is what online dating is all about: desperate people looking for quick relationships. Get off online dating and put yourself literally out there in the world. Expand your social circle by joining sports groups, church groups, volunteer doing charity work, and even go out on the town on your own. You never know who you will meet if you don’t go out and just have fun.

 

13- You limit yourself

It’s great to have standards, but that doesn’t mean you should limit yourself to only dating blondes, guys with blue eyes, guys with muscles, etc. Women have an unrealistic idea that they need to just date someone according to their standards, but who you date and your standards are two totally different things. Your standards are what you value, not what the guy will look like or be like. If you go ahead and date that computer geek, he may not have the “look” but he probably will live up to your standards.

 

14- Your so are vain

The song Carly Simon sings, “I bet you think this song is about you,” is how some people think. When you act like a total diva who wants to be with you? Don’t be the woman who no man want to be around because you overly love yourself or are a total witch. Stand up for yourself, yes, but pick your battles. Some women are so vain that they won’t like a guy just because he has a bad haircut or didn’t wear a shirt that is from a certain designer, so they will write him off as boyfriend material.

 

15- You don’t ask any questions

It’s great to have similar interests, but if you don’t ask questions to get to know someone, and only talk about yourself, you might as well date yourself. The only true way to see if you have chemistry with someone is to get to know them. And the best way to get to know someone is to ask questions. Just remember number six and don’t overshare too soon. If a question makes you uneasy, don’t feel pressure to answer, “just because” instead tell him that you can’t answer that question right now but will in the future. This way you don’t scare them away with oversharing and you also seem interested in having a relationship with him.