These days, it’s not uncommon to hear that someone is going through a divorce. In 2016, The median length for a marriage in the US is 8 years with 90% of all divorces being settled out of court.60 percent of second marriages end in divorce and 73 percent of all third marriages end in divorce.
Currently, the divorce rate per 1000 married women is 16.9. Many experts feel that this is a much more accurate measure of true divorce rate than the crude rate. The divorce rate per 1000 married women is nearly double that of 1960, but down from the all time high of 22.6 in the early 1980s. Here are some more interesting facts on divorce:
Every 13 seconds, there is one divorce in America. That equates to 277 divorces per hour, 6,646 divorces per day, 46,523 divorces per week, and 2,419,196 divorces per year. That means there are 9 divorces in the time it takes for a couple to recite their wedding vows (2 minutes.) More than 554 divorces occur during your typical romantic comedy movie (2 hours) And 1,385 divorces happen during the average wedding reception (5 hours).
So, if you are divorced and reading this, now what?
You might be hearing from friends and family, “You need to get out there.” But what you’re probably feeling is either, “I don’t think I’m ready,” or “How do I even begin to start dating again?” Since I’ve seen so many friends go through it, I’m a big believer in, what I like to call, “The Take 2 System.”
The Take 2 System is quite simple:
The first step is to realize that you should wait about a year before seriously dating anyone. Yes, that is a long time, but when you end a relationship, a marriage, the healing process takes time. If you are still in love with your ex, you will probably compare everyone you date to him or her. Rebound love always turns out to be a disaster. Take time to learn to love yourself and enjoy the small moments of everyday life.
The second step is to think about what you want, what you don’t want, and identified the deal-breakers.
After that, the next step is to be open-minded to the possibility of finding someone new. This is how you know you are ready. It’s also best to become friends with someone first, not just jump head first into dating someone with all the “fringe” benefits. By that I mean, having sex. Sex is part of dating, but if you are seriously looking for a relationship then you might want to pass on sex for at least six months while trying to get to know someone for who they truly are, and not for what they “claim” to be. Don’t date anyone that you aren’t comfortable with and don’t date someone that is “forced” on you because your friends and family think they found the “perfect” relationship for you.
There’s a difference between who we love, who we settle with, and who we’re meant for.