Date apps are for dorks. Women are those dorks.

First let me start with the study: Research shows dating apps like Hinge, Bumble or Tinder can be associated with negative impacts on mental health. According to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, there is a link between using dating apps and experiencing loneliness, dissatisfaction with life and feeling excluded from the world. The research points out that it is a paradox, as people have more ways to connect than ever before yet many of those connections can feel empty, fleeting, and insecure.

Also, I will note that if you read either my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2d Ed” or you read “Relationship Impossible” you read the information I gave you that, when it comes to dating apps, there is such a thing as choice overload, whereas, people tend to pick the wrong partner due to the fact that there are way too many options to choose from.

Now to the funny part of this: When I told a bunch of women the following in this dating group I am in, most of these women were so sensitive to the following truth:

NO high quality man is going to be on a dating site. 

I know it’s the “easiest” way to meet guys although social media isn’t that bad of an option… BUT the high quality man that you ladies are looking for aren’t on dating sites! The whole concept of a dating app is for women to chase after men, whereas high value men don’t want to be chased they want to be the ones who pursue.  Now that doesn’t mean that women can’t flirt with men because sometimes they need a little push and telling them that you are interested in them is a good thing, but a high valued man is not on a dating app. If you notice, the only men you find on a dating app are all the men who are those who are cheating, are married, lie, and some are even rapists.

Why women think it will be different because they are on Bumble or Hinge, or are paying for the app is an insane idea! EVERY dating app works the same way! The algorithm is just as it is in finding movies you will enjoy on Netflix and all those guys whom you reject, are recycled back into your choices every 30 days or so.

I seriously roll my eyes every time a woman in these chats I am in post a photo of the guy whom she is talking to on an app to find out the “fax” about him and the answers are pretty much like this:

“So I have been seeing and talking to a guy nonstop for the past month or so. We were supposed to hangout Saturday but I cancelled on him last minute because I found out a mutual friend had also been talking to him and he tried to schedule a date the same day as ours but earlier in the day it kinda made me feel a bit grossed out and I’m not sure what to do.”

“Omg! We talked for a while and he kept flaking on plans and kept saying he was traveling, sick, busy, etc. but wanted to keep texting. Eventually I stopped responding.”

“On his Bumble profile, he selected ‘Wants someday’ for kids. I hope this was a mistake bc he has grandchildren and he is actually 67, not 47 like it shows on his profile. He also lied about his age on a site called MillionaireMatch and says he is 51 on there. His desired age range on that site is 22-39. He goes by the name …., but his real name is …..”

“4 kids 4baby moms denies the existence of his kids Alcoholic/abusive looks for woman to support him.”

This is ALL you see in these groups. And women WONDER why they haven’t met a high quality man yet on a fucking dating site? HAHAHA… seriously these women are stupid and naive to believe that the love of their life is on a dating app. AND a high quality man for that matter!
You have a better chance at being struck by lightning than you do finding a high quality man on a dating app. And then there are the women who comment in the group chat like this:

“I met my guy of 7/8 months on …. ”

Yes, good for you. Ask him, did he take down his dating profile on all the sites yet? Watch him squirm while answering. Remember, there are MARRIED men on these apps not to mention athletes who are married or in relationships who look for their hook up on the road.

Here are places to go meet HIGH QUALITY MEN this summer:

1- Nightclubs
2-Lounges
3-Sporting Events
4- Juice bars
5-Nice Coffee Shops ( Not Starbucks)
6- Exclusive Gyms
7- Social Clubs
8- Airport
9- High-end Spas
10-Tennis clubs and Golf Courses
11-Charity Events
12-Art Galleries
13-Open Houses ( obviously it’s a million dollar listing)
14-Nice Hotel Bars

The list can probably even be longer… but the point is… NO high Valued Man is going to be on Match, Ok Cupid, Hinge, Tinder, or even Bumble. I will even say on Million Dollar Match as well. Those guys are the scum of the Earth looking for hook ups, looking to scam you, looking to use you or looking to unfortunately to sexually assault you. And if I insulted anyone by saying this, sorry but not sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, doesn’t it?
Just because you deny it’s the truth doesn’t make it less true!

Tuesday Tips and Ramblings

Today is the 18th day of the 2022 and I have already gone through a big transformation and tackled countless challenges. If this how the year is going to be, watch out world!

Resistance to change is a fact of life. If you want change to take hold, you must have good boundaries to contain the forces that are working against the effort. At the same time, getting absolutely everyone on board may take forever, and making everyone happy with your decision is highly unlikely anyhow. Always do what’s BEST for you -not what’s best for everyone else. You either will have supporters or those that want to bow out. Those who bow out were never your people anyhow.

I have started the painful process of changing my business and my brand. Yes, it’s painful because you have to go through the process of seeing clients not wanting to be on board with you and you realize that some of them were just using you to their advantage. I also have been told that I “do too many things.”

It’s those people who are closed-minded and blind to innovation. Once things start going well, most folks get comfortable and never look for ways to grow and improve. In business, you need to keep moving to avoid becoming stagnant; innovation is imperative to make your business a success story. It is also important to have resilience, not only to face the challenges ahead, but also be patient when it comes to the overall results that you expect. The saying is true, “Roman was not built in a day.”

My social media company is changing gears. I only want to be seen as a content creator. Not the girl who “posts things” but a girl that creates knock your socks off content and teaches businesses HOW to use social media platforms. First thing I have to do is change the mindset. The next thing is change HOW I can gain clients and show them that I am the solution to their social media chaos. It’s in the change that I can develop a strategy that works for me and also my clients.

The next thing is that I am focusing more on doing podcasts and live shows.
I enjoy it and I have been told by so many people that they not only enjoy my shows, but that I am natural at it. I have been given a gift and a talent and why not take that and make it a major part of my company?

Next, my passion for coffee is what made me in turn add it to my company as a new business. Coffee is my hustle juice – and it is also what keeps so many folks moving. I want to be known for gourmet coffee that you can make at home or in the office. I would love restaurants to also buy it for their customers, but my mail focus is showing everyone that my coffee tastes better than any coffee shop’s.

My website is updated weekly. Here is the link: LINK

Lastly, I have a football project I am working on ( I will release what it is on 2-2-22) and I working on once again, taking my knowledge and love for competition cheer to a completely new level in 2022. (More on that later)

Friends will ask for discount prices. Real friends will pay full price to support your time and work.

Also, to those who look for clients remember this: your best clients and customers will always care more about transformation than price. Appeal to the VALUE hunters not the BARGAIN hunters.

Again, but better

I haven’t been happy lately.

No, I take that back. I have been happy, but I have not felt fulfilled lately. It’s like nothing I do or accomplish makes me feel as if I am doing things that are appreciated nor do I feel that I am valued. I always wanted to have my own empire, and believe me that hasn’t changed. What has changed is how I go about that.

I noticed lately that either people who are jealous or those who scoff at the idea of having multiple businesses have given me negative feedback without having any true facts. And I notice that when I try to help others gain insight on what knowledge I have, they don’t value me or what I know. Either that or they are just plainly lazy and don’t care as much about their business as I care about theirs.

85% of my job is either chasing a client down for money or content. And it’s exhausting! So, to fix this problem, I am going to go and do credit cards starting in October. But the other problem will either get fixed by me learning that I can not control how clients respond and therefore I won’t chase them anymore. You either give me what I ask for or you don’t get what you want to achieve from your marketing. And when they freaking complain, I will point it out to them. Yes, I will save text messages and emails. I also believe in principles, but if you tell me you will do something, I expect you to do it or give me enough time to make alternate arrangements. If you flake on me enough times, I’ll re-evaluate our relationship and more than likely cancel you out of my life. A person who doesn’t consistently keep their word does not respect you, and they don’t value you or your time.

I should not have to get super stressed out over how people behave.

Speaking of stress, I noticed that this entire year minus January, I have been super stressed. Stress takes a toll on our mental health and our bodies. Life should not be lived having to be stressed day in and day out. I want to change the world, yes, but I don’t want to die because I am completely stressed over things that I have no control over. I can only do my part and then hope that it inspires someone else to change their outlook and reach out to pay it forward.

What gets me is the fact that we undervalue other people either based on what we have heard, what the myths there are or we are afraid to really find out the true value of someone else. When we take our anger and frustrations out on other people, we aren’t dealing with the problem at hand, which is the reason why we feel the way we do. We try to hide and push those feelings away, but that doesn’t solve the issue. Instead it causes more pain, grief, and frustrations. Egoism, lack of love and empathy are main reasons people don’t value others. People create more enemies for themselves than friends. To be very rewarding in our world we have to have respect for other people. It is a way of showing who we are and what we cherish and understand how interconnected in the world we live in.

Here’s another thing that I can’t stand lately: Whenever they need you, they come running. On the contrary, when you are in a bind, they do not reciprocate. I have gone above and beyond in my relationships. When I expected the same in return, it was not given. Those are hard lessons, but it became my comparable measuring cup to any other relationship. I have so many people in my life who DO value me that it became easy to spot when someone else didn’t. The word effort is defined as a vigorous or determined attempt. So, let me make this as straightforward as possible. Suppose you’re the only one who puts effort into having meetings, meetups, phone calls, or quality time. In that case, they don’t value you, and it’s not your responsibility to put in the majority of the effort.
That is a hard lesson to learn but it’s the darn truth. I have clients that expect magical things to happen, yet when I ask them for simple stuff like passwords, pictures or video links… crickets. Needless to say, I am done having to put forth all the effort and getting no reward from it. Yes, life isn’t about reward, but it isn’t about having to deal with stress caused from people’s slack effort, respect and value. I’m tired of constantly GIVING and having TAKERS take and NEVER give back- EVER!

Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself, and having a sense of self-value means that you are worthy. Easy to say, hard to do. That’s where self care and self love come into play.
Lately I have been doing a lot of this! Spending time with my self and those who value me. Noticing also that there are MANY people out there today who feel this exactly as well. I will start to record how each day goes and what I have learned from the day. I also will start recording my self talk to myself ( Yes, I the old fashioned thing to do, is to use a tape recorder) and then I will share my thoughts with the world. I know I have a voice and it won’t ever be stifled. If I can use my life to help someone else out there, then I have done my part in trying to help the world be a better place.

Just remember that there are people in this world who will always value you , even when you can’t see the value in yourself and even when you can’t see that they do value you. You can always make more money. You can never make more time. You can never replace the TRUE value of another human being with money. EVER.