2025: Unrealistic Body Image Finally Enters The Chat

We live in a culture that praises weight loss. The message we’re sending is that you only look good because you lost weight.
Fat phobia- because of our intent, we perpetuate diet culture, and fat phobia when we compliment someone on their smaller body. Our society praises weight loss as if it’s the best thing a person could ever do. Not only that, but we comment on people’s bodies without having any idea what is going on in their lives.

Last week Jennifer Love Hewitt made more women in their 40s so happy that someone in Hollywood actually looks like them. She didn’t run off to use ozempic and she didn’t go ahead and do a crazy-ass diet. She is what women are SUPPOSED to look like and she was so proud of her body!

We “assume” that their weight loss is “positive”, when it could be due to a chronic illness or an eating disorder. All unsolicited comments about someone’s body are bad and shouldn’t be praised because no one asked for them. Even if someone asks, we shouldn’t even give them one when actually we should take it a step further and tell people that they don’t want to receive those comments.

We should be telling people to focus on who that person is not by what that person looks like. If only people did this on social media.

Social media is the perfect environment, unfortunately, where the diet culture flourishes. It thrives on comments from men who think they know that certain bodies are “better and hotter” than others. Yes, guys who are losing their hair, have beer bellies, droopy chests and butts, are telling women that they all need to look like a goddamn Barbie doll, when they themselves are so far away from representing Ken.

Women who already have suffered from a body image disorder, get triggered by those comments and now are drawn back into the diet culture. And for what? To please all the men who you don’t know on social media, who basically have their own insecurities about their own looks and projected on women?

The sad reality is, if you look on social media and even dating apps, all men want this fantasy woman who is 5 feet tall 5 inches, 130 pounds, size 2, blonde hair, and blue eyes, who accepts bare minimum, and who could pass for either a Victoria’s Secret model or a Barbie doll. What they don’t realize is that a woman’s looks is never going to raise their children. Her mindset will.

Men never focus on who a woman really is, speaking in terms of her personality, mentality, and character. But they only focus on how hot she looks so his teammates, and friends can be extremely jealous of his arm candy.

Oh, once you hit 35 and you’re a woman you’re old and decrepit according to social media.

If only men could stop being, “so full of themselves,” and stop trying to “fit in” focusing on loving a woman for who they truly are. But instead, they don’t want to embrace that main character energy. They wanna focus on what isn’t instead of what is.

I guess the question really is this : do we really want to spend our lives agonizing over trying to make others happy instead of making each day we live the best days we’ve ever had? When are we going to realize that nobody at your funeral is going to say the following: “ I remember so-and-so, she was a size 4 all her life, she was always so skinny, she was always looking hot and beautiful, etc”

They are going to remember how you made others feel, how you lived life and the kindness you showed others . That’s a life worth remembering.

Get Ready: A sneak peek of “Meet Me in the Penalty Box”

As you well know by following this blog and if you follow me on social, you know that I am writing a book called, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” which exposes the NHL culture to a tee. Here’s a excerpt of the book: the first two sections: All About The Victims and Exploring the Topic Of Culture

Did you know, in 2022, there were 1.37 million domestic violence crimes committed in the US. According to the CDC, in 2022, women reported intimate partner violence around 41%

These are topics that women try and avoid talking about because they are embarrassed to admit that they have been in an abusive relationship or they feel ashamed that they succumbed to a man who tricked them into believing that he loved her by abusing her.

What does all this have to do with the NHL? (National Hockey League) 


The NHL is the ONLY major pro-sports league without a league specific policy outlining what happens to players who are accused of sexual crimes and domestic abuse. 

There have been incidents within the league that the league have stayed quiet about and have swept it under the rug, so to speak. (I then get into many different cases)

The question that everyone seems to have in regards to violence against women is where does this start to form in a man’s life?

Why does he intentionally want to hurt someone who is seen as loving and caring towards him?

And how do women play a role in being manipulated into falling into a pattern of trusting violent men with their lives? 



Dating Violence

Violence in teen relationships predicts violence in adulthood. In the United States, up to 19% of teens experience sexual or physical dating violence, about half face stalking or harassment, and as many as 65% report being psychologically abused ( Stats are from Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention)

In many cases, violence can happen when young people don’t yet have the skills to manage conflict, cope with feelings of jealousy, and navigate rejection. Many teens perceive this type of behavior as “normal” and a way to express love in intimate relationships.

The truth of the matter is this: Teen dating violence seems to be overlooked, not only in the scientific community but in society at large. It’s developmentally appropriate for young people to explore their sexuality.

But as a society we haven’t figured out how to support that while protecting them from a risk of violence. Added pressures today include social media and how sexuality is perceived.

According to 2019 data from the CDC’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, about 1 in 12 teens experience physical dating violence and about the same number face sexual dating violence. Other studies suggest rates may be higher, especially when accounting for psychological forms of abuse.

In one nationally representative study of young people ages 14 to 21, 51% of females and 43% of males reported being victims of at least one type of dating violence, while 50% of females and 35% of males reported perpetrating at least one type.

Girls as young as age 6 have been taught for generations to accept the fact that when a boy pulls your hair, trips you, pokes you, laughs at you, or does anything else to you, this is a clue that he “likes you.”

Little girls have been conformed and trained to accept this behavior from boys as an expression of interest, which means we have been training girls that it is normal for guys to physically, mentally, and emotionally abuse us as an expression of love.

Teen boys who abuse dating partners are more than likely to have experienced child abuse or neglect. Teen boys who are abusers, are more likely to use alcohol or drugs than their nonviolent counterparts.



Teen boys who abuse their partners then to have sexist attitudes that support male domination over females.



In some cases, dating violence may be part of a pattern of antisocial or aggressive behavior.

But much of the time, teens may simply not know how to manage the emotions and conflicts that arise as they enter their first relationships.

Patterns in teen relationships are similar to adult battering relationships – they involve the same elements of control and jealousy. Teen girls and women describe the same range of violent experiences from slaps and shoves, to beatings and attacks with weapons. 

There are several youth-specific aspects to their relationships- 
Pressure to conform to peer-group norms which contributes to an emphasis on having a specific dating partner. 
Peer pressure can be so intense and the fear of being different, or of violating peer-group norms, can create rigid conformity.

Teenage boys will begin to establish such patterns when their violent dating behaviors are reinforced by members of their peer group and by society as a whole.

Their expectations of a girlfriend may include that she gives up certain activities and other relationships in order to give priority to her boyfriend. 

This is why basic chicks fit the mold/pattern for hockey players.

They find women who will conform to what the boyfriend wants and accepts their dominance in the relationship. This includes that he be sexually aggressive, make all the decisions, and he will control her activities and behavior…..

(Section 2: Exploring the Topic of Culture)

The United States also has an individualistic culture, meaning people place a high value on individuality and independence. In contrast, many other cultures are collectivist, meaning the welfare of the group and group relationships is a primary value.
Living up to a culture’s values can be difficult. It’s easy to value good health, but it’s hard to quit smoking. Marital monogamy is valued, but many spouses engage in infidelity. Cultural diversity and equal opportunities for all people are valued in the United States, yet the country’s highest political offices have been dominated by white men.
In many cultures, women are expected to be responsible for things that men are not. And, there are more pressures put on girls and women to look young and youthful no matter how old she is. Women’s full and equal participation in all facets of society is a fundamental human right. Yet, around the world, from politics to sports to the workplace, women and girls are largely underrepresented.

While the specific expectations have varied across cultures and time periods, core assumptions about women’s roles have persisted for millennia. Let’s take a brief look at how the values and beliefs women “should” follow enfolded…..

Today, this is how women see themselves:

  • Independence focused
  • Sexually liberated
  • Work focused

Today this is how men still want to see women:

  • Homemaker
  • Mother
  • Primary caregiver
  • Submits to her man
  • Adopts her man’s moral foundations

A traditional woman is a woman who follows older established principles of femininity. But today, women are pushing away from being a “traditional woman” because men today are pushing away from being, “a traditional man.”

What is a traditional man?

He is someone who adheres to conventional, often historical, gender roles and expectations. This may include traits like being a provider, protector, and head of the household, with a focus on strength, and dominance. Basically he follows established principles of masculinity.

Men before the social media era had more strength, courage, and discipline than today’s men. Men used to be better men, and more men wanted to be more like that. Today though, men rather complain about women being masculine and not feminine.

Maybe this is news to a lot of men but women take self-defense courses because we’re told we need to protect ourselves from men. Instead of men learning to be better men. The value of women is not limited to their sex appeal. Treat women the way you would treat any normal person. How you speak, walk, move your body or go about everyday life has nothing to do with masculinity, aside from other people’s preconceived ideas.

When most men think of “manliness”, they think of the fantastical archetypes we’ve been inundated with since childhood:

James Bond, Ernest Hemmingway, Captain America, and the list goes on.

They think that manliness is about hunting big game, or knowing how to fight, or sleeping with dozens of women, or driving a fast car. But these activities do not make one manly. Manliness, or as I prefer to call it “masculinity”, is about the principles by which you operate and the way that you commit yourself to various pursuits in life.
I would argue that developing your masculinity just as women develop their femininity, is based on a handful of simple principles…..

When women are assaulted, their past gets investigated.
When men assault, their future gets protected.
When women get assaulted, it’s like society treats them like a criminal first, not a victim. But men? Oh no, their futures need to be protected at all costs. The only thing that matters is making sure they get a “second chance” while she’s left fighting for her dignity. This victim-blaming crap isn’t just sick, it’s a systematic pile-on designed to keep her in the dirt while they get to walk away unscathed.

What does all this have to do with the NHL and their culture?

Well, let me start off by saying this: Culture isn’t an excuse for abuse. And abuse is silent no matter what type of abuse it is emotionally mental, physical or sexual.

And the fact that people know that it’s happening and they close the blind eye to it or they sweep it under the rug or they try to hide it as fast as they can, shows you the nature of this problem isn’t small. The NHL is very good at covering this up and that shows you that they know right from wrong but they don’t care.

And to all those guys that I see commenting on this type of thing on Instagram, Facebook and Threads is disturbing.
The main comment is that, we as women will never get rid of sexual assault. That’s that is correct statement because we’re never going to get rid of hate, we’re never going to get rid of violence 100%, but the fact that you don’t even want to think about how you can make things better for not just yourself but those around you, show that you are part of the problem, not the solution.

It’s always amazing to me. How guys are more worried about the accusations of their favorite athletes than the violence itself .
Defending them with the my favorite sayings, “she was a whore,” “She wanted it now she’s regretting it.” And my ultimate favorite, “Innocent until proven guilty.”
There’s also another one, “She consented so this didn’t happen.”

They just don’t understand what consent and not consent is and even if she consented in the beginning, a woman has a right to change her consent at any point given in time.
When a woman says no or stop or I don’t want to do this and you don’t listen to her, you are raping her. It doesn’t matter if she’s your wife, it doesn’t matter if she’s your girlfriend, it doesn’t matter if she’s your partner, it doesn’t matter if she’s a hooker from the street, it does not matter.

And that is where the problem then grows.

The hockey culture is four things, alcohol, drugs, sex and gambling.

(To Be Continued)







The NHL’s Relationship With Women

I don’t know why the hell this needs to be repeated…… women do belong in the NHL.
Whether they’re a fan, coach, broadcaster, journalist, owner, or hold an important office title in the league, there should be a safe space for them to do what they love.

Men need to support women in sports. It’s really not that hard.

As I am in the process of writing my new book, “Meet Me In The Penalty Box,” I have discovered just how many men are TRIGGERED by women who not only understand the sport, love the sport, but by women who want to empower other women to change the NHL for the better. I have also learned this: If my voice had no power, most of the male fans plus some athletes would not try to silence me. I guess, my only question for them is this; Can you hear me now? If not, don’t worry you will be. My voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways.

Not only am I going to change the NHL for the better, where women are concerned, but I would like to remind fans of 1 woman that actually played in the NHL, even if it was a preseason game, and how that opportunity got lost.

Her name is Manon Rhéaume and in 1992, signed a contract with the Tampa Bay Lightning of the NHL, appearing in preseason exhibition games in 1992 and 1993. She spent five years in professional minor leagues, playing for a total of seven teams and appearing in 24 games. She also played on the Canada women’s national ice hockey team, winning gold medals at the IIHF Women’s World Championship in 1992 and 1994, and the silver medal at the 1998 Winter Olympics.

So to those men who think I can’t change how the NHL sees women and treats women, it can be done. Like I preach, all it takes is ONE person to make a difference. Then of course when I STILL see sexist tweets and posts like this:

I know that I have a fight ahead of me. The fact remains that most men are today are triggered by not only by women who want equality in the workplace, but also women who are strong minded and independent. When I talk about dating and how it has totally shifted to this “basic chick” way whereas she will accept bare minimum and the man doesn’t have to become a better man, this is also what I speak of with the NHL.

I just saw a video on Tiktok of a woman is “says” she is married to a Dallas Stars player who literally said, “The only really I am telling everyone that I am married now is because we both wanted to wait and I wanted to become something and not attached to his name.” HAHAHAAHAHAHA… this girl is so freaking manipulated that it is sad. Oh, and her “husband” he is not one of those superstar players either. And I have never heard of her and her brand that she supposedly wanted to grow on her own. I looked at his IG account and there is ONE … just ONE photo of them together and the comments under it are NASTY!
If you follow me you know that I have stated MANY times that when you date an athlete you have to make sure that HE is the ONE who posts you up FIRST. You have to make sure you are with someone who loves you: Loudly. Proudly. Publicly. Privately. And behind your back. The whole Instagram story shit – that is what these basic chicks buy into and the guy thinks hey, I publicly put her in a story so that should be enough. HA! That’s the copout. As is what is coming February 14th: Valentine’s Day.

NEWSFLASH: If you are a guy or you are an athlete don’t use a holiday like that as a cop out to propose to your girl. For starters, that day is supposed to be special. The day you ask her hand, is not supposed to coincide with the commercial gimmick of Valentine’s Day. (I thought I would add that in this post, while there is still time to change your mind!) You also have to think about what happens if you get divorced, you just ruined a holiday because that is all she will think about when that day comes. Propose a few days before Valentine’s Day or after it.

Oh, back to the NHL for a second so I can clear up something. Most men have the wrong idea when it comes to defining what is masculine and feminine. Furthermore, let me add again, that it is NOT a flex to be sleeping with 5 women at the same time, that does not make you man. That makes you a pig. See, the reason that their IG is NOT FILLED with photos of their women is simply because they think that other girls, or the hoes of the world are going to slide into their DMS. So they HAVE to look single and not taken. That’s why their use stories. Also, it doesn’t go with their agenda of making their IG’s all about them and their careers. When that is NOT what IG is all about. 80% professional 20% personal. These guy freak out when fans think they are robots yet they post on social like they are robots by not letting folks see the human side of themselves.

Muscles don’t make men masculine.

Women being submissive doesn’t make them feminine.

Being loyal to 1 woman makes a man masculine. 

Being reliable makes a man masculine.

Being emotionally intelligent makes a man masculine. 

A woman is feminine when she’s nurturing. 

A woman is feminine when she’s completely comfortable being the driver and the passenger. 

A woman is feminine in the way she carries herself and still can be strong minded.


Once a man can do this and understand this, he longer wants to settle for what he is TOLD to settle for, which is a basic chick. He wants more. He wants a woman who is extra and he is manly enough to accept it and he is proud of it. Taylor Swift had to date 13 little boys who were insecure about the fact that she was extra until she met a man who was strong enough to understand that weak-minded men can’t handle a strong, independent, and extra girl.

If there is hope for Travis Kelce, there is hope for many of you guys too.

On a different note, look out for my revised copy of “The Championship Mindset” Monday February 3rd.

The Silent Women Part 2

Jacob Trouba ( a fake account set up on this platform)

4d ago

“LOL which player rejected you?? There is no problem with women who are in relationships with NHL players; dating, married, or otherwise. The NHL is definitely NOT against women. The problem is you and your unhinged and attitude. If you feel that the NHL is against women like you, then rightfully so!!!”

Oh look I triggered you – Oh snap ( insert eye roll here and smirk)

See, the problem is NOT my unhinged attitude its the fact that these men can’t DEAL WITH IT because it is THE TRUTH. And this is a CLASSIC narcissist gaslighting response. Also, it seems as though this male is unhinged because he wants women to accept the status quo and not be better and do better. He probably also thinks it is a flex to sleep with multiple women too.
Obviously this dude also doesn’t know HOW to read. I never said there was a problem WITH women… I said clearly that the CULTURE and The TYPE of woman they are groomed to be with is the problem. DUH!

Guys do not want to become better men, so that’s why they settle for the basic chick because they’re not going to force them to be better.

And it’s not just the men who play in the NHL it’s men who are fans of the NHL.

That whole entire topic of would women choose the bear over a man in the woods, triggered so many men, but it just didn’t trigger men. It triggered the boys who are insecure and immature, and probably will never be men. 

But back to the NHL for a second …

You can listen to the podcast. I just did on this topic here.  * click to listen * 

And if you would like to read the books that are written on men in relationships…

You can click here … I’m sure you’ll find what you need to find in the books.

But just to continue for a second ..

I mentioned in the last post about Instagram and the stories and how all these NHL players use them. . I did not mention why it’s terrible and what exactly it means when a man does that shit. But I will start with this if you’re a woman and you are dating an NHL player do not be the first to post him up. Let him be the first to post you up. Because then you’ll know that you’re dealing with the athlete that is proud to have you as his woman and he would like to show you off to everyone else if he only puts you up in his story he’s still trying to look single. 

If you go look at Cale Maker, Andrew Copp, Connor McDavid, Matthew Tkachuk, Ryan Lindgren, Jacob Trouba , etc… you will find on their actual pages, there is no such thing as they are/were actually dating a woman let alone being married to them.  And then they’ll just say well my life is private, blah blah blah…. It’s not that their life is private. It’s that they’re 1) not proud of the woman they’re with because 2)  she’s a basic chick and 3) it’s a secret so they can hook up using Tinder and other means especially when they’re on the road.

I mean, let’s look carefully at Connor McDavid, who was filmed on video in 2022 coming out of a bar with another woman not Laura who we ended up marrying . BTW…. If you look at their wedding photo there, there’s a specific one where they look like they’re unhappy. She knew that he’s a cheater and a liar and yet she still married him.

There’s a saying, a person who settles for crumbs, never understood the mentality of someone who wants the whole cake. Men want their cake and eat it too, but the women are not allowed to have that today. The women shouldn’t want the whole cake. They should just settle for crumbs and be happy.

Here’s something that I spoke about on the podcast if you are a woman and you give up your financial freedom to a man you’re pretty much done. If all women wanna do is just live off, their husband’s means and have nothing to fall back on, that’s the reason why most these women stay in abusive relationships. Well that and the fact that only 10% of those women that leave survive. 

A smart man realizes it’s better to grow with a smart woman because he’s never satisfied with his basic chick and that’s why you don’t see more of those smart men who play in the national hockey league with intelligent women. They don’t accept bare minimum simple because they can provide bare minimum for themselves . We don’t need men men need us. If a man can manipulate you into making you believe he loves you you’re done hence that’s why they choose basic chicks, most likely under the age of 26. 

And BTW… there are a lot of married single moms in the NHL. Those who do EVERYTHING on their own and the men don’t do shit. I talk more on the podcast about this.

Men are intimidated by intelligent women. They are inferior to them, but women who gave blow jobs just to get ahead are the women men can control and that’s why hockey players choose basic chicks because they will accept the bare minimum and are easily controlled. 

If you look back through the history of the NHL and I mean way back, coaches used to sleep with other coaches wives players used to sleep with other players wives …. This type of culture starts in junior hockey.

Also, last year there was a scenario on TikTok with the NHL player Alex Wennberg . A lot of fantasy writers use the NHL players and sexualize the players themselves. Hence we had something called booktok. And the funny thing about it is the fact that the admin for the Seattle Kraken bought into it and used it in their social media.

If you look on TikTok, a lot of women sexualize the warm-up routine that a lot of NHL players do. (Its mostly certain type of stretching) But those women to me are not true hockey fans those women are the thirsty hoes. Yes I said what I said. You are a thirsty hoe, if you are sexualizing what hockey players are doing in warm up. It’s perfectly fine to say a guy a hot, good looking, dresses sharp, etc. BUT when you sexualize them, then you are saying the way that THEY treat women is acceptable.

I want women to want to better themselves and I want that for their daughters too.

Like I’ve seen before I have no problem if you wanna be a stay at home mom and live off your husband‘s means, but that means you’re giving up your financial freedom to your man. That means that no matter if he physically abuses you, emotionally abuses, you, or mentally abuses you You will end up staying in that relationship and teaching your daughter that there are no ways out and that you’re not worth it.

Women need to realize that they’re worth it!

Calling me unhinged just means I’m doing something right because it’s an unhinged attitude that men don’t appreciate and don’t like because I’ve said it before I’ll say it again they don’t want to better themselves. They want to be IN control of everything, especially a woman. They want women to be submissive to them and their needs and their wants . And the only way they can do that is if they pick a basic chick who accepts bare minimum.

By the way, on the podcast, I pick apart some of the New York Rangers wives and girlfriends and tell you some of the things that I see on their social compared to the things that their husbands and boyfriends post. I also get into this a little bit deeper on the podcast. It’s a great listen. I suggest you listen to it. Tell you, it’s a lot easier talking about it than it is writing it. So you’ll get some really good stuff on that podcast. 

Again, here’s the podcast link : click here 

In a world full of copies, be an original.

It’s been awhile since I wrote a blog piece, but I have a great excuse… I’ve been busy trying to get my shit together, but seriously who hasn’t been?
I have been working on multiple projects and I will have updates for ya soon. If you want instant behind the scenes stuff, then I invite you to follow my Youtube Channel where most of that is posted.

Recently I was back doing choreography for an upcoming R&B singer – and that felt awesome to be dancing again because here’s a hint from a creative person, when you do anything creative whether it is writing, music, art, dancing, etc.. it helps build up your creative juices! I think I will be doing more of that in the future!
And speaking of music, I am still putting together my album. It’s crazy to see how life really does go full circle. Back in the 2000’s ( the early portion) I actually was trying for a record deal even if I didn’t sing the songs but sell the music/lyrics to artists. Back then we didn’t have social media to do that, we needed to make a tape, mail it to a producer and then literally wait by the mailbox, which is was TORTURE! My cousin had a meeting with the same producer I sent my work too and that is how I found out that they loved my stuff. But … a lot of things how to fall into place and well, it didn’t.

Seeing now how God/universe was redirecting me and protecting me from the music industry now that we see all the shit unfolding with Diddy, makes me know that the timing was not right then. But like I said, everything in life comes full circle and now is the perfect time for me to have an album that I will produce by myself with the help of technology.

UPDATE:
So, the NHL is trying their “best” to make it look like they are “women friendly” and care about women by having women take part of organizations in a big way. The biggest way is with the Kraken and the hiring of Jessica Campbell as their Asst. Coach. Now, I will say she qualifies for this position and frankly she should have been hired years ago, so I question the timing of this. Especially with the fact that 5 guys are being tried in a Canadian court room next spring for sexual assault.

But this is here why the NHL SHOULD HAVE a policy to PROTECT HER.

The NHL commissioner STILL refuses! so what happens when she is sexually harassed? God forbid anything worse happens! I have sent The NHL over 4 correspondence and I have only heard back once! This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Here are some important stats:
Over 1 in 3 women in the US have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
At least 5 million acts of domestic violence occur annually to women aged 18 years and older.
Domestic abuse can be mental, physical, economic or sexual in nature.

And here’s something else to know: Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person causes someone to question their sanity, memories, or perception of reality.
** I will be staying on top of this with the NHL **

Video Links: Remembering Johnny Hockey
Video Links: Matt Rempe ( his acting debut) – If you listen to my podcast, you hear me talk about how much I love his vibe! It’s authentic and real, not fake or stuck up like all other athletes.
This week BTW on my podcast which I do NFL picks, and talk about hockey (NY Rangers- mostly) I talked about positive and negative energy towards the end of the podcast. It’s really a good listen if you want to learn how to have the Championship Mindset.
Podcast link: click here

A Theory On Men

Some men get lucky, and marry the woman they are meant for and ready for, while others are not so lucky. First I guess I should mention that there’s a difference between being in love with someone and actually only loving someone. Not all men are in love with the woman they are with, instead they only love her. When you’re in love, you want this person. When you love someone, you need this person. This is the main difference between loving someone and being in love. Being in love is wanting to own the other person. It is believing that this person is incredibly wonderful and you need them in your life. When you fall in love, you feel an intense need to consume this person in any way possible. In simple terms, being in love is believing that you need someone to stay happy.  It’s wanting them, not needing them which is the motto of EVERY independent woman.

Men take a LONG time to get emotionally connected whereas woman are emotional creatures from the get-go. If by the 3-4 month mark, you are not seeing signs that he is getting emotionally attached to you, that may be because he is just going more slowly than you do. Some guys even take a year or so to get attached! What makes a man emotionally attached is when you become vulnerable with them. This subtly nudges the guy to become vulnerable, making him emotionally attached in the long run. Also, another answer to what makes men emotionally attached is when you show gratitude.

There is this theory going around on social media that had me thinking. It is plain and simply this: Men marry the woman in front of them at the time they are ready not necessarily the woman that is meant for them. This is particularly true when you look at men who cheat on their partners. If a guy isn’t drawn to a person on all levels, then you aren’t going to stay with them and cheating enters the picture. Doesn’t matter how physically attractive the person is either. A man MUST be attracted to a woman on ALL levels in order to stay in that relationship. This means a man must be intellectually, emotionally, sexually, mentally, and physically attracted to a woman to be with the one he was meant to be with- all levels not just 1 or 2 levels.
Note: Women ask me all the time about men who show mixed signals and guys that take a while to contact you. Here’s my answer: Mostly guys hesitate not because they aren’t interested but because they are completely attracted to you and that scares the shit outta them!
Also it’s important to note that some men cheat for the thrill. They might like the excitement it brings in their life. Now, there is NO excuse for cheating, but it’s important to think about reasons why it happens. Some guys cheat with another female simply because the woman they are with does not support them in the way that another female does. Or another female is seen as an adventure whereas their relationship has gone stale.

Fantasizing about someone else is normal, though. We all, men and women are human. Think about the women who swoon celebrities and certain athletes and vice versa. BUT if you are thinking about another woman constantly, that’s an entire different ball game. Especially if you start wondering how it would be to be sexual with them. Like I said above, it’s normal to think other people are attractive but if you find yourself DRAWN to them, then my guy, you only married the woman who was in front of you, at the time you were ready, not the woman who you were meant to be with. That’s another reason why dating apps don’t work for this- you end up settling. Also, it’s important to note that high quality men and women are NOT on dating apps, only those who want to hook up and end up being folks side pieces are on those apps. Think about the Lamborghini for a minute. Have you ever wondered why you never see commercials for the Lamborghini Countach super car on television? That’s because Lamborghini doesn’t believe the company needs commercials. The product is so good it sells itself. That’s why those relationships from dating apps today don’t last- you are selling yourself and telling others how valuable you are, when you should never have to SELL YOUR WORTH!

In closing, remember that there is a difference between a diamond ring and a chicken nugget. Don’t just settle for someone who is going to only “put up with you.” Be with that person who is going to make you a better version of yourself. I know it’s hard out there, I get it, but settling only causes you heartache in the end. Guys, look for the rare breed, she is out there. Don’t only want basic, want that girl who is extra. She’s gonna be there for you when you need her the most. Ladies, don’t just settle for a guy who promises you the stars in the sky. Settle for a guy who is going to give you more than the bare minimum . After all, we’re all worth it!!

You Might Be The Player, But I’m The Coach

First and Foremost, the new podcast is up and it’s for your ears only. CLICK HERE to listen.

Sorry, folks, no video podcast this week, maybe next week…

Fashion Segment

Now, some words may be centered off… that is because it’s Youtube Shorts. But the point being is that Hockey Boys Got It Going On! #FashionAve though, belongs to the NY Rangers. But the best dressed athlete is a NHL player. IF you haven’t seen the last 4 videos …. Here they are! They also are on my twitter feed.

Dating Segment ( a quickie – pun intended)

You can tell a lot about an athlete and his character, what he values, etc by who he follows on IG. Guys who are superficial, narcissistic and materialistic will ALWAYS follow the girls on IF we are half naked in their profile pics AND they will NEVER post about the girl who they are with ONLY story her so others can slide into their DMS and they can slide into theirs. Also athletes who have private IG accounts I would be worried about- that shows 1) they hide shit 2) they can’t handle the social media trolls.
Also if a girl goes out with you for coffee, pizza, shopping at Target, the girl is into you and only cares about spending time with you- she’s not into you for what you can give her- she’s into you for YOU!
I talk more about this on the podcast – LINK On top of this post!

If you saw the racy video of the panties on Twitter…. I talk about it in the podcast. (give you guys a creative hint for Valentine’s Day!)

As always I have my fashion brand where you can purchase sweatshirts/T-shirts I created. CLICK This wonderful link to go to that site.

And you can SHOP MY CLOSET! – and yes, some panties. …

I believe women should always find the classiest way to empower their sexuality – The devilish girl coming out to play… so if you can’t handle it, then don’t click the link.
PS: you’ll have to subscribe for the content but I give you a little tease if you will (The video from twitter is here but I put it on youtube for this blog)
CLICK THIS

Caution: Contents Hot

Racy, Seductive, Alluring, Saucy… Those are the words used to describe the following content in this blog!
If you only want to stay in the know and not subscribe, then subscribe to the email list.

BUT…

If you want to see all the 18 + content and you think you can handle it: then subscribe to get access NOW!

Here is a little taste of that content:

Subscribe to get Access To My Panties Sites.

See me in the panties you wish to purchase. Things are a little devilish and racy… but classy. I empower my sexuality in a classy way. Which is how it should be!
But it’s only for subscribers. Then you will see blog posts with the links for the panties sites come February 1st!! PS All those panties in the video, I own, I wear, and then sell on the panties sites. I also will have videos of me shopping for the perfect panties and more. Subscribe if you dare.

Can We Stop Harassing Women Who Love Sports?

Although millions of women have experience playing sports and many millions more are fans of sports, women are still looked down upon when they talk about sports. And when they do, men still persistently question their qualifications.

First thing all women who love sports have to deal with is that we ONLY love the sport for how “good looking” the men are. Now, unfortunately some girls tweet and post about how “hot” an athlete looks so all girls and women are thrown into this category and even if we actually enjoy the sport for what it is, and make a comment on how handsome a guy looks, that’s it; we all are told that is the REAL reason we love football or hockey. (Especially those 2 sports)

I don’t know how to break this to you guys out there but it’s pretty much impossible to see the faces or the abs of football players as they’re bolting across my TV or device. And hockey players… have so much padding on them, plus a helmet with a visor, that it’s impossible to judge their “hotness” as they quickly skate up and down the rink. If girls wanted to look at cute guys, they would probably watch a soap opera or a music video or sex website, not athletes covered in so much gear that they’re barely recognizable.

Then we have to deal with questions like, “Your boyfriend, dad or your brothers got you into liking football or hockey, right?” For some reason, it’s hard for some guys to wrap their brains around the fact that a woman can turn on a TV or find a sport and find a game all on her own. I can tell you for a fact that no one in my family introduced me to NY Rangers hockey… I found it, got into it, and love it all by my little self.

Another thing that guys don’t seem to understand is that you can be a fan of a sport without knowing every player’s statistics. If you claim to like , the Yankees for example, then guys bombard me with questions about the players and even when I know all of the answers., these guys STILL won’t let up!
Listen, we don’t quiz men on your Shakira knowledge so why should they quiz us on sports?

My favorite though is insisting that I am an airhead, because I am a female fan.

Another doozy is that if you like a team that just so happens to be doing well, you’re going to be accused of liking them because it’s trendy. ( We get that in NY a lot)

Let me tell you that I didn’t spend hundreds of dollars on a hockey jersey to impress ANY guy! Most women watch sports, because they actually enjoy them. They don’t have an ulterior motive. Sorry that you feel so incredibly insecure about yourself to even think that.

Also, if a girl likes a certain player that you hate, that doesn’t give you the right to bully, harass, or shame someone for THEIR love for that particular player. People need to realize that not EVERY post needs your comment on it – just as in real life you wouldn’t engage in every conversation you would come in contact with same applies online.
I hate it when people bash players online and then also think they can bash their families and the fans who like them. I will go after you on that, as being an athlete is hard enough, let alone having people bash them who by the way are buying tickets to watch. Most fans couldn’t even survive on the field or ice past the 1st shift/1 series.

Finally, this is what one guy I spoke too about what he thought about women enjoying sports had to say, “I’m a competitive cyclist and if a girl can keep up with me on a mid-paced weekend ride I’m pretty much in love.”

Cheating, Athletes and Social Media

I woke up yesterday morning and did what I usually do, open up the Twitter app to see what was trending, as what good social media experts and content creators do. Seeing two hockey players trending: Connor McDavid and Sammy Bilas and then looked up as to why they both were trending. I knew from some of the posts that it was not about hockey. I did not have to look that far to find out that Connor McDavid has a video surfacing of him drunk holding the hand of a girl and walking with her-and this girl was NOT his girlfriend Lauren Kyle.

Now, I have trashed NFL players for years on relationships and have always said that hockey players are the best athletes – they are genuine, appreciative of the fans, and just plain more fun. But that does not mean that you are going to have some guys who are NHL athletes do what guys everywhere do: cheat on their wives or girlfriends. Note: this is why some NFL players think they are being “smart” by not putting whom they are dating in their IG feeds or posts on Twitter. Two reasons: first, if there is no “proof” no one can say that they are technically “cheating” and secondly, it leaves the door wide open to sleep with as many girls as humanly possible. (Which is why you see the girl they are with in their stories- that shit disappears in 24 hours)

Back to Connor McDavid now. Everyone knows that he has been dating Lauren for quite a while. You’d have to be living under a rock on Mars to not know that he was taken. As I said on Twitter, girls do better research than the FBI; we all know your situations whether you post about them or not. With social media it’s 10x easier to figure stuff out AND there are tons of websites that actually keep track of this sort of thing. ( PLUG: Who dated who ) So, us girls know what the story is and you know what, sometimes we play stupid to it just to see what you guys are going to do. Yes, dogs can’t outsmart foxes. And some of you guys are dogs- and that term is not meant as a compliment.

Connor has NO excuse to cheat on his girlfriend. But as I have found out over time, some guys are just never happy with what they have, who they are with, and they are constantly searching for better when they already had the best. You see that A LOT with NFL players. They are never satisfied with anything. They need more money, more materialistic things, and more women. Am I surprised that a wholesome guy like Connor cheated? No. But I don’t want to hear him say, “I was drunk and had no idea what I was doing or where I was,” the video clearly shows that he did not like the fact that someone videoed him. He has to know that he is seen as public figure and whatever you do in public is fair game. He also has to know that people are going to recognize him without his uniform on too. Also, guys cheat out of anger, jealousy, or a desire for revenge. Even if their partner hasn’t cheated on them but instead if they’ve done something to upset their partner. And if you check Lauren Kyle’s IG, the last picture she posted was her in the WAG jacket at this game, so yeah they were together. Most couples scrub their social media when they break up. ( Note: if you don’t know what WAG means it refers to wives and girlfriends of high-profile sportsmen)

But what I also said on Twitter is that the girl who held him hand and walked with him, and God only knows what else they did that night, deserves as much shit as he is getting because she had to know who he was and that he was taken. I don’t want her to give an excuse that she didn’t know, especially with the crowd surrounding him and the fact that someone shouted out his name. Girls know three things: 1) If the guy is taken 2) Where they hang out and 3) how to be seen. Watching the video for like the hundredth time- she knew what she was doing. I also want to state something about Lauren Kyle and social media:- It is RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL to tag her in responses on Twitter and IG talking about what Connor did. Have some dignity and also respect for her please. She’s not the one who cheated, she’s the one who got cheated on. Know the difference. As to dating athletes, this does not change my view on hockey players at all. I still think they are most down to earth guys on the planet, having met my share of them.

Switching gears, let me briefly touch on Sammy Blais for a moment. His sister supposedly graduated from either grad school or colllege and posted a picture of herself on IG. Sammy commented underneath, “Sexy babe” and the world lost its freaking ass mind! If you have a sibling then you know that siblings have inside jokes, pick on each other, and like to cause trouble with each other. Also the word sexy does not always entail looks but confidence. You all look like asses for making a terrible assumption.