With Love All Is Possible

This is the time of year that most believe in miracles and believe in love. This is also the time of year that sadly, most don’t. They don’t believe in reason for the season. They don’t believe that we all have a purpose and they don’t believe in others either.

Recently I saw an Instagram story from an athlete that basically said, “Don’t trust nobody!” And I thought to myself, how sad is that? But if this athlete is going to preach about God, does that mean he doesn’t trust God, his wife, his teammates, his kids?
Sometimes God is disguised as people on Earth and he speaks through people. If you’re telling others not to trust anybody that that means that you don’t trust God either.

Usually people who have had a traumatic past experience are the ones who stop trusting other people. Trust issues can be associated with depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment and attachment issues. They can stem from abuse, social rejection or just having low self-esteem. People with low self-esteem are less likely to trust others. Which is ironic that this particular athlete always preaches about believing in yourself. Sometimes, though on social media people post things subconsciously to try and pick themselves up and not others. Even though their posts inspire other people the point of the post was to help make themselves believe what they are putting out there and were never intended to inspire others.

Some people have unrealistic expectations. The higher the expectations the more likely it is they won’t be met. Trust usually isn’t something people openly talk about or address in relationships until it’s been broken, and by then it’s often too late to salvage the relationship or the breach of trust seems too big to overcome. Trust is the foundation for your relationship and the key to love. When you trust your partner, then you feel secure that they won’t leave in difficult times. Trust and love go together as does loyalty. Without trust there is no love, and without loyalty there is no trust. Because love and trust so often go together, navigating relationships with people that we still love but no longer trust can be very difficult.

I don’t want to live with a bitter heart or a closed heart. I want to live with an open heart. And yes, will I get hurt? Sure. But that risk is worth it because love is worth it. All kinds of love require trust which is a quality found in people and not necessarily in relationships. People you can trust have integrity and do what they say they will do. A trustworthy person does not lie, manipulate, or deceive and this makes love possible.

I believe that you can fall for anyone, even without knowing them completely. You should first spend some time knowing the person, understanding them and deciding whether you can trust that person or not. Listen to your heart because your heart will never lie to you while your mind will play games. Trust to me is knowing I am totally responsible for and can be counted on me at all times. If I am trustworthy, I will trust others. Trust is the foundation of loving another human being.

How do you know when someone really loves you?

If you find they want to spend almost every minute of free time with you. If they always compliment you, no matter what. They care about the little things that make your day better. When somebody truly cares about somebody else, love evolves into something physical and mental that needs to be shared with the one person who takes up nearly all their thoughts and time.

As humans we are programmed to need relationships; they’re essential for our survival emotionally and physically. Relationships keep us grounded which in turn helps us stay sane in this chaotic world. But not all of us are lucky enough to find someone who loves us unconditionally. Some people don’t even know what love truly means. Love is not the materialistic things, as some would think, it’s the moments we share with that particular person that makes us feel together and whole. You value their personality and want their friendship. Love does make us do crazy things at time, but it’s that deep affection and admiration that we feel towards another person that makes us know that we found our “soulmate” There is a warmth in your heart, an inner peace you can feel. No words need to be spoken. It is not just unconditional love, but unconditional acceptance.

So as we march on in this Christmas season, remember this, loving someone, is about giving them the space to be themselves. If you are perfectly happy with their flaws and love them for who they are, then you have found a soulmate. Soulmates actually come into our lives to challenge us and help us grow in a way that serves us and moves us forward. We can often miss out on the opportunities to be challenged by someone else the universe has sent because that person wasn’t sent to us as we hoped or the way we thought they would be sent to us.

Again, love, trust, loyalty. Without one, we don’t have the other. The three in this day in age are rare. And if you are lucky enough to find all three, count your blessings.

Get To Know Me (stop stalking my social media)

Yes, there are “those people” who think they can “get to know” someone by what they post, but that is the wrong idea to have! Mostly people post things to social media that they either LOVE or INTERESTS them. People also post things, at least I know I do, to motivate, inspire, or to be sassy/witty. How could you really know, truly know someone by their posts?

So here are 10 questions and 10 answers for you to “Get To Know” me. HINT: if you really want to get to know me the best way to ASK me!

Question 1: If I had to eat the same foods over and over, what might those be?

Answer: I could literally eat pizza, pasta, peanut butter and French Fries every day if needed.

Question 2: What is the dumbest way you’ve been hurt?

Answer: Luckily for me, it’s the ONLY time I broke a bone. 6th grade on my best friend’s driveway on Valentine’s Day, I slipped on the ice and broke my wrist.

Question 3: Who is your all-time favorite Disney character?

Answer: It’s Cinderella. Classic.

Question 4: What am I afraid of?

Answer: Bees, Spiders, Snakes ( I stepped on 2 of them growing up!) I don’t like the dark but I’m not afraid of it- I rather not be in the dark if that makes sense!

Question 5: Favorite Flower / favorite bug / Favorite color:

Answer: Daisies / Ladybugs / Pink

Question 6: Favorite Vacation Spots

Answer: ANYWHERE there is a Beach and Lake George, NY – I love that town so much! It’s quint, relaxing, and fun. Also there people there are so nice!

Question 7: What talents do you have that nobody knows:

Answer: I played the flute and violin growing up. I also wrote a song that was played on Z100 . Also, I am good at finding missing objects. Anytime any one has something missing, they call me.

Question 8: What did I study in college?

Answer: I started with journalism as I wanted to be a hockey writer or a football writer, but I switched my major to teaching because I fell in love with the kids I was teaching in the summer one year as an assistant and never looked back. So I majored in Education with a minor in English. This was I could always come back to writing later on. Everything does come full circle and I have written over 9 books. And millions of blogs. (either as a ghostwriter, blogger for other sites or my own material.)

Question 9: If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?

Answer: Sometimes the best adventures are the ones not planned. I would simply just go on an adventure, whether it was driving some place, shopping, finding a new fun thing to try, ( I have never yet gone to a golf range before) going on a nature walk in a new place, or just spending time with my nephew and niece – those are unplanned adventures for sure!!

Question 10: What are your favorite holidays?

Answer: My Birthday ( yes, it’s a freaking holiday! I celebrate all month long (April BTW) And Christmas! I love baking my Christmas cookies and buying and making gifts for others. It’s my favorite time of the year!

Coffee First, Wine Later ( A series of blogs)

I have some EXCITING news!

Drum Roll Please….. … …. …

I know what Santa wants you to get your family and friends for Christmas and the holidays!

Introducing …. A Sassy Productions:

Coffee First, With Just Brew It Gourmet Coffee and Wine Later with Sassy Productions Inc.

Supplies are limited for the WINE… but ANYONE who orders coffee ( CLICK HERE ) will qualify to order a bottle of my Rosé Wine for HALF the price!!

You also will be put in a drawing to WIN A BOTTLE FREE on #blackfriday!

I also will be giving away FREE Coffee and having a special #BlackFriday Sale!

Remember, when you support a small business, you are supporting a dream and helping it come true one purchase at a time!

Christmas Truly Is The Season Of Love

As I sit down to put together my next book, “Relationship Impossible,” I can’t help but think about the timing, as the book is about love, so too, is the season of Christmas.

I would be amiss not to talk about love and Christmas.

One of the things that bother me each year, is the fact how people want to throw a wrench in kids belief in Santa. “Santa isn’t real. Santa only brings toys, We shouldn’t let kids believe that expensive toys are from him, and so forth. These are things that people say, especially in the mom groups on Facebook.

I think people have lost sight as to who Santa truly is and what the season of Christmas is really about- hint, it’s not about the materialistic gifts.

Santa is more than just about gifts- it’s about the season of love and miracles. The focus is on the gifts but gifts for many can be many different things. Some wish for love. Some wish for romance. Some wish to get that dream job they always wanted. Some wish to be able to feed their families. Some wish to become parents. Some wish to be able to keep their homes. Some wish to be able to find their way.

Gifts don’t necessarily have to be materialistic this time of year. That is why the season is so magical and full of possibilities. Can we stop telling parents and people how to handle Santa and try to “force” others not to believe? Why do people want to ruin it for kids who WANT to believe? Heck I still believe in Santa because I believe in the spirit of the season!

If you want to know why the world is so cold, it’s because 1) people have forgotten how to say thank you and 2) people have forgotten how to have faith.

If only people had a little more love to give to others without expecting anything in return this world would be a better place. That’s part of the problem. People today expect others to give and give and then are never grateful that they received. If someone gives of their heart to you, shows you support, encourages you, always say thank you.

That is why most people run from relationships, especially during the holiday season. They feel overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, hurt, and used.

In today’s world with dating apps, people tend to run from the hard relationships and aim for the easier ones. But as we have learned in 2020, life wasn’t meant to be easy.

It’s not easy with Covid to be able to “reach out” to others this year, but this holiday season I am encouraging and challenging you to approach sad or difficult relationships with extra love and grace. Rather than dwell on what might be, focus on what is right before you now. Stop playing possible scenarios in your head and go for what is immediately in front of you. I always write about knowing your value and your worth, and never settling, but so many times I see people use that as an excuse to throw away a perfectly good relationship.

The holiday season is when so many relationships break apart. Holiday expenses often equal pressure, especially when you are in a relationship. Whether you just started dating, have been together for years, or are married. Re-read the above: Gifts for many people can be many different things. If someone only cares about the materialistic things, and doesn’t value the gifts of encouragement, support, patience, and understanding, then they truly don’t grasp the concept of love.

Another reason couples break up at the holidays is because sometimes people don’t like where they wind up in the pecking order. Like I said above, people expect things from others, and when they don’t get it or when they give and the other person doesn’t show gratitude it makes you think and shift your priorities.

What people misunderstand is that, it’s not just the phrase “I love you” that’s important for others to hear. You never know how often others receive positive words about themselves from others. We should offer life-giving words whenever we have the opportunity. That is why the Christmas season is about love. It’s not in the gifts we give, but how we express our feelings towards those who we love. The challenge is to continue to love in tangible ways the rest of the year.

To those who struggle with the idea of finding that “perfect romance” or wanting that “easy relationship” this time of year, I say this: When we help people know they’re loved and inspire others to pass on the love they’ve received from God, then we’re spreading the true hope of Christmas. Make the most of this season’s opportunities and spread love everywhere you go. You never know what can transpire from spreading joy and love to people around you.

And to those who are trying to find their way just know that the further you are from where you started, the closer you get to where you belong. Sometimes you end up right where you started because that’s the place you are supposed to be. The signs are always in front of you. That’s why we are supposed to look ahead, and not backwards.

Merry Christmas.

2020 Should Be The Year Of Gratitude

2020 has somehow been the best year of your life and you don’t even know it. We’ve all faced challenge after challenge. You’ve adapted, no matter how slow it took you to adapt. And 2020 has forced us to grow exponentially. We shouldn’t take that for granted. Instead we should be grateful for that opportunity. Take the negative, flip it, and turn it into a positive.

Think about how you have grown and how you have spent your time this year.

Did you reconnect with people you would have never connected with otherwise?
Did the quarantine force you to spend more time with your family, bond with your kids and also help you learn patience?
Do you appreciate your health more and respect your body more?
Are you still afraid to live in the moment?
Are you ready and able to take calculated risks?

Think about all that and tell me that is not living your best life. Yes, Covid19 was a struggle and still is, especially if you own a business, run a business and it also took some of our dear family and friends away, but when we focus on the negative we never get to appreciate what we have and the growth we experienced.

As you sit down to dinner on Thanksgiving day, take a moment and recollect all the amazing things you did experience this year and try to figure out ways to take the negative moments, flip them, and try and find any sliver lining.

In a society that has you counting dollars, pounds, and time, be a rebel for once, and count your blessings.

Your Holiday Gift Guide Continues

Christmas Calories Don’t Count
What The Elf?

What would be the holidays without having our cocoa, tea, and coffee in a holiday-themed mug? As a great gift idea for Teachers, Nurses, Entrepreneurs or a Business Team, you can purchase these mugs and place either homemade cookies in them or a gift card to your favorite coffee shop.

Happy Gifting! ( Here’s a link to the cute little video I made!) CLICK HERE

A Holiday Gift Guide

The holiday season is creeping up on us! We will be seeing advertisements galore for the next 2 months. So to ease you into the holiday season….. here are a few sites to check out.

  1. www.stephaniedolce.com – this is my BRAND new site filled with gifts like this:

There is A LOT more! Plus there are some great books you can get as well. I am also looking for guest bloggers to share their products… so please reach out to me if interested.

2. Follow me on Pinterest for my list of my Favorite Things- in my board titled: “Holiday Extravaganza”

3. I will also be doing GIVEAWAYS on my Facebook page AND Instagram page – so join in on the fun!

7 Ways To Score Dates For Christmas

According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.

Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:

1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way thru the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty, if you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.

2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow

3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.

During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting genuine people in bars because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks.

 

4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.

5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because sometimes (and usually) the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.

6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!

7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.

Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2020, is right around the corner!

We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.

It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.

May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.

Merry Christmas to all my readers.

A Year to Review, Revise and Remember

Life can be funny sometimes. It throws you curve balls, takes you on paths that you’d never think you would take and life always comes full circle.   Each person has their own personal and unique life’s journey and along with it the interesting turns and twists that are unique.

One thing I learned this year is that life happens whether you want it happen or not. Being that I am a social media guru and I am online for about 60 hours a week, I get to see people’s lives evolve .  I also get to see people’s struggles, complaints, life-moments, and everything in between.  And from that I can tell you that life is short, really short.  Every single moment in your life counts.  Every decision you make will have an effect on your life in one way or another.  What people don’t realize is that they have an opportunity to make a difference in the world and in themselves each and every day.  That can be simply by saying hello, holding a door open for someone, supporting a friend, paying for someone’s coffee, etc.

Another thing that most people don’t realize is that we should never stop learning and growing.  Traditions and rules were made to be broken.  The concept of giving of one’s self to another, often is abused.  People take advantage of good-hearted people,  I should know. They aren’t appreciative of the fact that you gave of yourself, they now expect it. People who are more appreciative are those who aren’t expecting your kindness.  Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t be compassionate, open, and understanding, I am just saying to be wary of those with whom who are open to sharing your exceptional kindness with. … some don’t deserve it.  But that doesn’t mean that you stop respecting them.

That’s another thing I came across this year. Social media has made too many people comfortable with being able to disrespect others without getting punched in the mouth for it.  That then carries over to their “actual” lives and we have become more judgemental, angry, selfish, and greedy.   If you live your life as if everything is about you, you will be left with just that; just you. Relationships aren’t designed for selfish individuals.  But I have learned this year that being angry at people who don’t have the capacity to change is a waste of my energy and my time.

Speaking of relationships, I have learned this past year that some are not worth it, while some are worthwhile.  The most important relationship that you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Going into 2019, the best decision you can ever make, is putting yourself first. If you are still single, capitalize on it. Never settle. Know your worth. You deserve to be happy.  Don’t end up with someone just because you need to be with someone.  Never love when you are lonely. And if you can’t love who you are, how do you expect someone else to love you?

There is no right age to settle down but there is a right time.  There’s a difference. Learn it in 2019.

Follow your own path. Don’t copy someone else’s life, live your own. You weren’t made to be a carbon copy of someone else, you were made to stand out and be an original. Be proud of who you are, how far you have come, and where you are going.  Find people who support your goals,  are happy for your success, and who are there to comfort you when you fail.  Be authentic in real life and online. Stop trying to please others- when you are the one who at the end of the day, lives with the decisions YOU make, not anyone else.

Here’s to 2019! Go for your dreams, seek what makes you satisfied in your life , and make it happen.

Do You Believe In Magic?

First off, I want to wish a Merry Christmas to all my readers and fans.

When we are little, Christmas is all about the anticipation of the “big day!” We all write letters to Santa Claus, we decorate the tree, make Christmas cookies and also make our parents a homemade gift.

As we get older we tend to move away from these traditions and sometimes that special magic of the season fades. It’s so easy to get consumed by the commercial side of the season, which can take away some of the joy and magic. Not only that, but as an adult we also get stressed at this time of year. We have to deal with our adult lives, (work, paying bills, taking care of our family, etc) and also getting ready for the holiday. This is when we just try and “get through” another holiday.

Why do some adults lose that love, that magic of Christmas?

As I explained this to some folks this past week. Christmas isn’t just about finding out that Santa isn’t the one who buys you those gifts your find under the tree. The truth is that I still believe in Santa. I believe in the magic of the holiday, that miracles can happen, that the unexpected can take place, and that happiness surrounds us if we just take the time to look and feel it. Santa doesn’t necessarily have to be a person. Santa can be a feeling. He’s the hope we hold in our hearts that good things are possible if we only believe.

The magic of the season is all about giving of yourself to make someone else’s life a little better, a little happier, and a little sweeter. See, Christmas in itself is real magic. It’s not the magic of wizards and wands you read in books. The Christmas spirit is ageless, timeless and giving. Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. It is meant to bring a message of peace and hope in times when we think that peace is never a possibility. Christ was born with a pure heart and humbled himself by lying in a manger. Poor or rich it doesn’t matter, what matters is what comes from within.

Christmas is so much more than getting presents. It is truly the holiday of giving and love. The greatest gifts are not those wrapped under the tree or dressed in colorful bows. They are those given with an open heart, one wrapped in the ribbons of faith, hope, and love.