As I sit down to put together my next book, “Relationship Impossible,” I can’t help but think about the timing, as the book is about love, so too, is the season of Christmas.

I would be amiss not to talk about love and Christmas.

One of the things that bother me each year, is the fact how people want to throw a wrench in kids belief in Santa. “Santa isn’t real. Santa only brings toys, We shouldn’t let kids believe that expensive toys are from him, and so forth. These are things that people say, especially in the mom groups on Facebook.

I think people have lost sight as to who Santa truly is and what the season of Christmas is really about- hint, it’s not about the materialistic gifts.

Santa is more than just about gifts- it’s about the season of love and miracles. The focus is on the gifts but gifts for many can be many different things. Some wish for love. Some wish for romance. Some wish to get that dream job they always wanted. Some wish to be able to feed their families. Some wish to become parents. Some wish to be able to keep their homes. Some wish to be able to find their way.

Gifts don’t necessarily have to be materialistic this time of year. That is why the season is so magical and full of possibilities. Can we stop telling parents and people how to handle Santa and try to “force” others not to believe? Why do people want to ruin it for kids who WANT to believe? Heck I still believe in Santa because I believe in the spirit of the season!

If you want to know why the world is so cold, it’s because 1) people have forgotten how to say thank you and 2) people have forgotten how to have faith.

If only people had a little more love to give to others without expecting anything in return this world would be a better place. That’s part of the problem. People today expect others to give and give and then are never grateful that they received. If someone gives of their heart to you, shows you support, encourages you, always say thank you.

That is why most people run from relationships, especially during the holiday season. They feel overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, hurt, and used.

In today’s world with dating apps, people tend to run from the hard relationships and aim for the easier ones. But as we have learned in 2020, life wasn’t meant to be easy.

It’s not easy with Covid to be able to “reach out” to others this year, but this holiday season I am encouraging and challenging you to approach sad or difficult relationships with extra love and grace. Rather than dwell on what might be, focus on what is right before you now. Stop playing possible scenarios in your head and go for what is immediately in front of you. I always write about knowing your value and your worth, and never settling, but so many times I see people use that as an excuse to throw away a perfectly good relationship.

The holiday season is when so many relationships break apart. Holiday expenses often equal pressure, especially when you are in a relationship. Whether you just started dating, have been together for years, or are married. Re-read the above: Gifts for many people can be many different things. If someone only cares about the materialistic things, and doesn’t value the gifts of encouragement, support, patience, and understanding, then they truly don’t grasp the concept of love.

Another reason couples break up at the holidays is because sometimes people don’t like where they wind up in the pecking order. Like I said above, people expect things from others, and when they don’t get it or when they give and the other person doesn’t show gratitude it makes you think and shift your priorities.

What people misunderstand is that, it’s not just the phrase “I love you” that’s important for others to hear. You never know how often others receive positive words about themselves from others. We should offer life-giving words whenever we have the opportunity. That is why the Christmas season is about love. It’s not in the gifts we give, but how we express our feelings towards those who we love. The challenge is to continue to love in tangible ways the rest of the year.

To those who struggle with the idea of finding that “perfect romance” or wanting that “easy relationship” this time of year, I say this: When we help people know they’re loved and inspire others to pass on the love they’ve received from God, then we’re spreading the true hope of Christmas. Make the most of this season’s opportunities and spread love everywhere you go. You never know what can transpire from spreading joy and love to people around you.

And to those who are trying to find their way just know that the further you are from where you started, the closer you get to where you belong. Sometimes you end up right where you started because that’s the place you are supposed to be. The signs are always in front of you. That’s why we are supposed to look ahead, and not backwards.

Merry Christmas.

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