Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Girls In Their 20s vs Women In Their 40s

When I check social media every day, it’s amazing how these 20 -something girls think that are such “hot stuff.” I really don’t make that much about it until they start messing with me – then I have to put them in their place. First off, this whole thing that women are “supposed” to support other women “just because” we’re women is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of- you don’t see men supporting other men “Just because” you see men competing against other men and rightfully so.

So what does a 40 year old woman have that a 20 year old girl doesn’t? Well for starters, experience thank you.

1- Girls in their twenties don’t know how to fully love themselves- every inch of their bodies. I would have avoided many of the decisions that I made in my life if I truly just accepted who I was when I was twenty. Most girls want that “perfect” body. There is NO such thing as to having the perfect body, no matter what Victoria’s Secret or Vogue may tell you. You should embrace who you are inside and out.

2- Girls in their twenties are far from being authentic. It’s all about fitting in, instead of standing out. Stop comparing your life to someone’s else life you see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter… etc. Be real. Be you. You are worth it – just like everyone else you see. Don’t let what others are doing online, bring you down or your self-worth. No one gets to tell you what your value is- You know your worth when you stop giving discounts.

3- Sex. Sorry girls, but forty year old women have been “around the block” so to say. First all of, older women don’t just “hook up” with guys like girls in their twenties who are hooking up left and right these days. When we do “hook up” we do that because we feel close to the guy we are with. 40 year old women can completely let them self go physically- we don’t care about anything else and are more prone to trying new things since we are already secure with our bodies and not insecure like 20 year old girls are. We also know what we like, how to orgasm, and how to satisfy our partners, where as a twenty year old has no clue. ( https://amzn.to/2I6xN8c) – Chapter 13 FYI

4- Learn to live in the moment. If you master this when you are young, you will appreciate life much more through every single stage of it. Also, It’s not your job to make everyone else happy. And even if you do so, that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy. Life is short. Women in their forties know this. We don’t give a flying F- if you aren’t happy with our choices. We do what we know is going to make us happy- not others.

5-Life is not like football. Stop trying to “score points” with every opportunity. To win in life is to overcome every obstacle that life throws at you. No one dies counting how many “touchdowns” they scored and compares that to someone else’s “score total” – In the end that doesn’t matter.

6- Life is not like baseball. Don’t give people 3 times to hurt you, they lie to you once, that should be it. They are showing you who they are, and that is a person who doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth. Twenty-somethings give people way too many chances.

7- You don’t DESERVE things you EARN things. Stop thinking that everyone “owes” you something! Excuse me girl, but no one owes you a damn thing! You want that guy- go get him. You want that job- work for it. You want that car- buy it…. And so forth. Skip half the parties you go to, if you work, at something, you will become better at it.

8- Stick to the original plan. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. What ever you choose to be; be. Just because someone else has an “idea” of what you should do with your life, doesn’t mean you have to follow “their” plan. It’s your life, so live it and to the best of your ability. Stop blaming everyone else for your problems and giving excuses as to why you can’t do something or why something didn’t work out. Stop asking for permission. Forty year old women KNOW this.

9- Twenty year old girls don’t know how to have an ACTUAL conversation! Put down your damn phone! Forty year old women have such better social skills than you simply because we weren’t born with cell phones, social media and that has taken the skill of communication to an entire new level. Learn how to talk to others in person. Get off dating apps, social media apps, and get into the real world and start talking to others. Not only are you going to find out more about others, you will also find out more about yourself. And in the business world, you are going to have to talk to others face to face. A screen isn’t going to do.

10- Finally, alcohol is like cancer for your body. Twenty-somethings always feel the need to “get drunk” or “get high” at parties, when things are tough, etc. Forty year old women know that if we need to get high – we get high on life. Yes, we have an occasional drink from time to time, but we don’t rely on alcohol, basically because we don’t have time to stay in bed with a hangover or frankly want one. (Let the beer vs wine debate begin)

Age will happen whether you’re afraid of it or not, so get living! I don’t believe in age, I believe in energy. Stop telling older women that they are “too old” – remember, one day, the roles will reverse. Karma has a way of sneaking up on you.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

The Time I Dated A Calvin Klein Model

So, back when I was 24 years old, I dated this guy who was a Calvin Klein model off and on for about a year.   At first I thought it was pretty neat. But as the year went on I knew that I made a huge mistake.  Oh yeah, sure he was what we would call, “hot,” but I learned very quickly that looks on the outside are not a mirror to how someone is on the inside.  That’s why every time I see guys on the internet or hear how much athletes want to date models, I cringe. (Then I roll my eyes)

Our society STILL focuses way too much on a person’s outside rather than on a person’s inner beauty.  Inner beauty, especially to me, is the most important thing I look for in a guy.  Yes,  that physical spark is needed,  but looks are so overrated.

That Calvin Klein model  may have been “arm candy” but inside he was colder than ice. (Is that even possible?)  He cared about money, cars, materialistic stuff and but he didn’t care about how I felt, what I wanted, he had zero compassion about others, and I was so worried that he wouldn’t “love me” based on who I was, that I had to pretend I was someone I wasn’t.   I can also point out that the other models were just as narcissistic, selfish, greedy, and flat out rude as he was.

It was from this that I learned never to base dating a guy on how he looked but rather than to base it on how he treated me and how he also treated others.  A person’s personality, their compassion for others, and how they aren’t afraid to be themselves as well as not making me feel as if I can’t be myself, are the ways I now measure men.  Of course, I would be lying if I didn’t say that sparks that are driven from physical looks are necessary, but it’s not how I make a decision anymore.

It’s also important to note that I want to date a man who accept me for who I am, support my dreams as I support his, and build me up to be a better person each and every day.  I just don’t want to date simply to date. Another reason why so many relationships fail is because so many people do this; they date to just date instead of dating for a relationship.

Closing, we need to stop judging others based on the outer shell of a person. The saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover,”  is so true. Why be so shallow?  Dating is challenging to begin with, adding extra pressure to yourself and another person is stupid. Beauty can be intoxicating, but it’s also very misleading. And in this Instagram world with so many damn filters, why are we so obsessed with fake and not being real?

Yes,  outer attraction matters but in today’s crazy world it shouldn’t matter that much. Don’t get caught up in the  Instagram perfection of physical beauty that will quickly fade back once the filters are gone. If you lead with your soul, you’re more likely to find yourself in a committed, lasting relationship.

 

 

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Why Women Should Enjoy Having Orgasms As Much As Men Do

 

Double standards with dating are everywhere and there’s a study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that claims women don’t really have orgasms but instead squirt out a little pee. I’m here to debunk that.

For women, orgasms don’t come as easy as with men, but women can and should enjoy them as much as men do.

Orgasms Can Relieve Pain: There is some evidence that suggests orgasms can relieve all kinds of pain—including pain from arthritis, pain after surgery and even pain during childbirth.

Condom Use Doesn’t Affect Orgasm Quality: Women are equally likely to experience orgasm with or without a condom, dispelling myths that condoms don’t make for good sex. Condoms are good for SAFE sex and are 97% effective in stopping pregnancy.

30% of Women Have Trouble Reaching Orgasm: One in three women have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex. So a study that was done on only seven women and said that women don’t orgasm — they pee — is ridiculous! Now, women can’t orgasm from intercourse alone, so guys, if you really want to see a woman literally “lose control,” you better work.

Here are 15 ways to help women achieve the Big O:

1- Finding Your G-spot May Improve the Likelihood of Orgasm- Yes, the G-spot is important in having an orgasm — it’s that simple. (Regardless of those who say it doesn’t exist).

2- Foreplay Isn’t Optional as Far as Your Orgasm is Concerned- It takes 10-20 minutes of stimulation for the average woman to reach her peak so the more kissing and caressing you do, the better.

3- Oral is One of the Best Ways to Get Off- 80 percent of women have difficulty from having an orgasm on vaginal sex alone. If you really want to kick it up a notch, oral sex will do it. Most women can orgasm from masturbation, but not everyone comes during sex.

4- Masturbation- Women are so embarrassed to admit that they masturbate when the males in our lives aren’t. We’re looked at as “freaks” when we even admit to it, but it’s the easiest way for women to hit the big O. And the more you do it, the better.

5- Kegel Exercises- Doing your Kegel exercises flexes the muscles that stop urination. Do 10 reps, holding each rep for 10 seconds, twice a day while you’re watching TV or doing just about anything.

6-It’s All in the Noise : Low-pitched noises bring them down to…well, down there. So actually, the louder you are the longer it will take for you to orgasm.

7-Relationship O: Women in relationships tend to climax a higher percentage of the time during sex than women who are just hooking up.

8- Happy Place: Not only is the G-spot important, but for some women, stimulation of the nipples and breasts can increase the likelihood of having an orgasm and increase its intensity.

9- The Big O and Your Age: Sixty-five percent of women in their 30s and about 70 percent of women in their 40s and 50s orgasm more often than those in their 20s.

Oh, Baby: Orgasms may boost the chance of getting pregnant.

10- Burn, Baby, Burn: An orgasm burns just 2–3 calories, though a person can burn around 50 calories in the activity leading up to the orgasm.

11- It’s More About Cuddling: When a woman orgasms, her body produces four times the normal amount of oxytocin, the chemical that stimulates bonding.

12- Turn It On: A 2007 study found that straight women were aroused by watching films of both men and women having sex.

13- Toys For Pleasure: At the start of the 20th Century, the first electric home vibrators hit the market before many other household ‘essentials’

14- Eat it Up: Eating certain foods can boost your orgasm odds. Foods low in carbohydrates and high in protein: dairy, eggs, poultry and select meat and fish for example, work to raise free testosterone. (Yes, women are sexually controlled due to testosterone, not men.) Also, eating a little dark chocolate releases sexual desire in women as well.

15- Want More: Want more orgasms? Then switch stimulation techniques. If you’ve just reached orgasm through clitoral stimulation, try penetration to continue the sensations. Or vice versa.

Everyone’s body response is different. We’re unique, our reactions vary, and most importantly, not everyone is a dramatic and loud, as you see in movies. Orgasms are about being comfortable with your partner and communicating with your partner about what you like and don’t like. This is key to everything about relationships.

You can read more in my best selling book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd” and in the upcoming follow up being released some time in 2020.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Relationship Ramblings

Men always say they can’t find a good woman, but when they do, they don’t know what to do with her.

I can say this from personal experience and also from the numerous stories women have told me about their dating experiences.

For starters, why guys think it’s okay to date two women at the same time, without each of them knowing about the other one, I will never understand! Um, guys, I hate to burst your bubble on this but, we ALWAYS find the truth out. Never doubt a woman will find out because we do better work than the FBI.

Which takes me to the fact that I have had to deal with guys pretending to be women online so they can spy on how I am doing. Yes, that sounds so pathetic, doesn’t it? But it has happened to me more than once! Guys that I have dated or guys that I have been interested in, have turned to “the dark side,” just to see if I still care for them or who I am with, by either pretending to be a woman or getting a woman they know to befriend me on social media. So here’s a tip for all your ladies out there: If a “woman” befriends you on social media out of the blue based on something you have posted and the conversation gets really personal by them initiating it, then somehow during the conversation they tell you, “… but don’t mention my name,” or “Don’t tell them I said it,” then you know there’s something up with that. When the person who initiates the conversation is now being secretive, you know that “woman” is really either A) a friend of the guy, or B) the guy pretending to be a woman. And I laugh, because guys can’t even talk like women do, which is a dead giveaway. Guys talk the same online as they do in person. They aren’t that good of an actor. What do I do when this happens? I just play along until I have had enough. They want a game, you might as well as give them one.

But do guys know what women really want? Here are a few things:

1- Every woman just wants to know that no matter the circumstances, she is worth it to you.

2- Sorry isn’t a verb. Don’t expect it to do things for you. Don’t say it unless you mean it. And if you meant it, be ready to prove it.

3- Men need to stop calling other women beautiful, if they can’t even tell their own woman that she’s beautiful.

4– Ignore us, it’s cool. But when we move on don’t say crap.

5- Don’t ever leave something good to find something better, cause once you realize you had the best, the best has found better. Remember, if you leave her without a reason, don’t ever come back with an excuse.

But here’s something that men and women both need to remember when it comes to relationships:
1- If you carry the bricks from your past relationship(s) to the new one you will build the same house.

2- Someone who truly loves you will be angry at you for so many things, but will always stick around.

Sometimes you need to just forget logic and reasoning and just follow your emotions and feelings. Sure its scary but remember, all the fun rides usually are.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Younger Man, Older Woman, Why Not?

Dating double standards are ridiculous.

The one that still stands out is that men are celebrated from dating a younger woman, but when the opposite happens, holy cow! Recently I read a tweet from a woman on Twitter questioning if it’s okay for her to date a younger man. Wait, what? You are asking permission from strangers if it’s okay to date a younger man? What is this world that we live in!

For women seeking men, though, old-fashioned gendered ideas around age still persist for many. So what are the pros and what the cons for this dating dilemma?

Asking women this question here are the top reasons why older women ( And by older we mean over 35 dating men in their 20s) want to date younger men:

Sarah: I find that younger guys are so much faster to have the ‘what are we’ conversation.

Jane: Younger men tend to have higher sex drives, And as women, our sex drives tend to peak in our 40s.

Cindy: Younger guys are just less complicated and a lot more fun. Older guys have been in long-term relationships, and some of them are even divorced. They have really complicated commitment issues.

Now here are some guys who tell me their reasons for wanting to date an older woman:

Joe: Honestly, they’re so much more emotionally and mature, not as insecure, and our conversations are incredible.

Tim: I am attracted to older women because they’re often more confident and authentic than the younger girls my age. They are the real-deal, so to speak.

Peter: The mature woman focuses less on trying to win me over and focuses more on enjoying my company. There are no “love games.”

Women want to date a man who will become a partner, not a project. We don’t need to “mama him” to death, and we don’t want a guy who plays games either. Most older guys come with baggage; and a lot of it. They constantly talk about previous relationships and why they didn’t commit, blah, blah, blah. Younger guys don’t come with all that garbage and they aren’t trying to sell you the reason you should give me a chance either. – They are confident, not insecure.

Here are a few Pros to a woman dating a younger man:

A younger man has more energy and is more willing to try things than his older counterparts. In turn, doing new things increases dopamine in the brain, triggering a desire to spend more time together and assisting in lighting your sexual fire. The pro: A longer span of time before he’s reaching for the Viagra.

Not only is there fire in the bedroom, but he’ll come up with creative date ideas that bring back romance and make you feel empowered and appreciated.

Less baggage many also mean he lacks experience with communicating. So, be selective about your battles and learn to compromise on things that aren’t vital to your relationship.

Cons (Depends on how you feel)

Younger guys like to hang out with their peers more often than older men. So be prepared to share him with his friends.

The reality is that your biological clock may be ticking away while his isn’t even be turned on. It might be years before he decides that he wants a family and then what? (This depends on how you both feel about kids- remember though, there is a thing called adoption as well.)

He may prefer texting you over calling you and he may get jealous faster seeing you talk to all the men you may know from your past or even your job.

Conclusively, If both parties are open to dating, you might have a blast with each other.. And it is entirely possible that you could fall in love with each other and have a long and happy relationship.

Because, as they say, age ain’t nothin’ but a number. You need to focus on finding the partner that is your perfect fit, regardless of age. ( Note: Legally over 18)

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Create Your Own Fireworks July 4th

It’s really not rocket science to turn a woman on and let her know that you are interested in her. Men for some reason think that it’s so hard to “read” us, when really, it’s not. We give you guys cues, whether or not you pick up on them is all on you!

So if you plan on going to any July Fourth picnics or events and you see a woman you know and want to approach her, or you see a woman you don’t know and want to approach her; here are all cues laid out for you in black and white.

First and foremost, texting and calling us back is a turn on.  Also responding to our social media messages is a turn on as well.

But what you guys don’t realize is that when you stop texting us we know that you are already emotionally hooked, so there’s no reason NOT to text back, you know, unless you want to be seen as a jerk, then sure, stop texting and calling us! It’s only your reputation you’re hurting, not ours. So if you text a woman you know already and want to be more than just friends, keep at it. Also, if you meet a woman on social media and want to keep getting to know her; respond to every message she sends you!

You are out with your buddies and see a woman you would like to approach. Here’s a cue: When you are staring at a woman or you just finished saying hi to her, and she starts to bite her lip, she is turned on by you and she is debating what move to make next.

Here are other cues that you have peaked a woman’s interest in her:

1) When a woman starts “fixing” her bra, you sir, have turned her on.

2) Sometimes, yes sometimes, us women can be brought speechless. This usually happens when we really, really, like a guy. And when we’re in the mist of flirting, sometimes it seems as if we are not interested when we really are freaking out and trying to quickly think of something witty and sexy to say. So the next time there is dead silence, it’s just a woman trying to figure out what to say next.

3) If she sits diagonally from you or across from you at the room, her torso is facing you in an open manner, or her shoulders and hips are facing you. Either of these signs may mean she likes you. When she is sitting and she has her legs crossed, watch her feet, if its pointed towards you, it might mean that she likes you and wants to get closer to you.

4) Whenever a woman plays with her jewelry when you are around, (necklace, rings, bracelet) she is nervously turned on by you and wants you to come over to her. Whenever she fidgets while staring at you, she is hoping that will get your attention.

5) We know that you guys spy on us on social media, so we are always one step ahead of you by posting pictures of ourselves either alone or with friends when we look amazing. We know how to play the game, and getting you jealous or curious about us, is how we do it. Also, getting compliments makes us feel good about ourselves. So , hint, hint.

Now, those cues are for mostly women you meet when you are out and about. The following are cues for women that you already know and are “friends” with her.

1) When you kiss our foreheads, hands, cheek, in a loving way, we know that you are trying to hide how you truly feel for us. But when you plant one on the lips, and it’s a soft kiss, that just takes our breath away.

2) Even if you hold my hand for 5 seconds, and I am attracted to you, I’m yours. Touch my arms, leg, be flirty while we talk and you got me!

3) Sometimes you guys are so stupid! If you see me hanging out in the same place as you, don’t wait for me to come over and say hi, make a move and say hello. If you see me wearing something that you really like, say it! Notice me and throw a compliment my way, you’ll score big points.

4) In general, a lot of guys make the mistake of bailing on the conversation too early.  BUT, when a woman is making an effort to talk to you and try to keep the conversation going, she’s interested: BIG time.

Theses are the things you can do to fuel that spark and then keep the fireworks from burning out. Keeping the fireworks alive past July 4th, is not that hard, really.  A date doesn’t mean you have to go out and get dolled up every single time; it can be something as simple as taking a walk around your town, ordering pizza in and watching a movie, lighting candles instead of the turning on the lamp near the TV,  and so forth.   We don’t need you to take us to the most expensive restaurant in town. Sometimes just going out for breakfast on the weekends is a very sweet gesture and is something that totally turns us on.

Finally,  if it’s passion that you are craving for this July Fourth, you aren’t alone. Passion makes life good. It’s the essence of experiencing a fire within you! .  Passion is the energy that keeps us going, that keeps us filled with love, excitement, and anticipation.  If you want to feel more passion in your life, then you have to become passionate. Passionate people tend to attract other passionate people. There are fireworks all within us, we just need to take the time to let them out, and this summer is a great time to do that.  If you’re with the right person and the passion goes from a flaming fire to a slow, burning love, it can last a lifetime.

 

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

Men’s Epic Fails

Sorry guys, but sometimes you really are pathetic. Sending your mixed signals, changing your mind more times than I change my bra, and just being completely idiotic with playing games. But the good news is, us women still love you, flaws and all. Here are a handful of things that you guys may not even notice that you are doing which in turn are ruining your relationships.

Not Planning Things

The first epic fail is that you guys always assume that the woman is the one to make the plans. So while she is sitting there waiting for you to take the lead, you are sitting there wasting time because you feel that’s a “woman” thing to do.

Start Saying Thank You

This is obvious, we give you a gift or say something nice, open your big, fat mouths and say thank you! It won’t hurt and we won’t read anything into that. Not saying thank you is just plain rude!

Blaming Our Moods On…

Yes, you guys constantly blame our monthly periods on our moods. Here’s a crazy concept, maybe I’m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it’s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.

Run!

You realize that you really like a girl and she really wants to be with you so what do you do? You run! How stupid, seriously! If you aren’t ready for that type of relationship, all you need to do is communicate that to her and ask to remain friends. If you really likes you, she’ll agree. Running is for fools. Sticking your head in the sand might make you feel safer, but it’s not going to protect you from the coming storm.

You Are Not God’s Gift To Women

I repeat, you are NOT God’s gift to women, so calm down. Stop being overly cocky and over the top and just be your freaking selves! A real woman is NOT impressed with cars, how much money you have, how much weight you lost, the type of job you have, etc. We want you to have a job and be able to drive us on dates, but deep down, we don’t care about this stuff.

Pick Up The Damn Phone

Pick up the damn phone and call us back or text us back. When you go cold-turkey on us and not respond that makes YOU look bad or you look like you are starving for attention. Again, it’s another way of you being rude, and by the way, this is not going to make us NOT like you anymore. It will just annoy the hell out of us.

Proposing To A Woman Just Because…

Why the hell would you want to get married if you don’t love her? This is a major epic fail because then you are stuck in a situation that you shouldn’t be in the first place. This goes for men who get a woman pregnant and feel it’s the “manly” thing to do to marry her. This is for the guy who confuses love with lust. This is for the guy who meets a woman online and then 3-6 months later proposes without really knowing her. This is also for the guy who meets a woman and then suddenly thinks he needs to put a ring on it…. without truly knowing her. This is half the reason who divorce rates are high. But hey, divorce is a completely different topic that we will discuss later but I will say that if this i you- at least you have an out from your misery.

Spying On Us

It amazes me how stupid you guys are sometimes! Social Media isn’t going to help you really get to know a woman. Granted yes you get to see their pics, and you get to see what hobbies and things they like to do, but if you judge a woman based on her social meida accounts, then you are setting yourself up short & not being fair to her.

Being Gross

Talking with your mouth full and shoving food in your mouth, are just two of the ways that you guys gross us out. The other is when you don’t say excuse me after you burp…. ewww.

Arguing Over Nothing

Yes, us women are guilty of nagging you. I get it. But you guys are guilty of starting fights over nothing. Literally- nothing!

Sending Mixed Signals

One minute you talk to us and flirt with us non-stop, the next minute you ignore us. Then you think you have a right to get angry when we do the same crap to you? If you want us but aren’t ready to be in a relationship, open your mouth and just tell us. If we really want to be with you, we will wait. If not, why keep us wondering and waste your time as well?

Wanting Sex And That’s It

Friends with Benefits never work, so why do you guys seriously think that if you just sex from us, that’s okay? I understand that you have needs, so do we, but if you date a woman for a while and spice things up in the bedroom, you’ll have the best of both worlds.

You Put Too Much Emphasis On Looks

I get it, you want a barbie doll type girl. You know, the Victoria’s Secret type. But remember, looks fade, personality doesn’t. Her mindset will raise your children, not her materialism, looks, or her body. Choose wisely!

Trying To Get Us Jealous As A Way To Communicate

Trying to see if a woman likes you or feels the same way about you by lying that you are in a relationship, flirting with other women in front of her, or just wording things in a certain way so you get a reaction out of us, isn’t going to get you the desired response. Instead, you are going to hurt her, and seriously I doubt that is the intention of most men. I’ll fight for you but I will NEVER compete for you.;there’s a difference.

Using Text To Have Serious Conversations:

Texting is good for those hi, how are you doing messages. Texting is NOT good to see where you stand with someone, break up with someone or even have a serious conversation about any situation you are going through. People today have lost the true meaning of communication simply because using text is so impersonal and it doesn’t truly convey the message you really are sending. So before you decide to have a serious talk, save it for face to face and please put down the damn phone!

No one is perfect, I know that. And I am not saying that you guys need to do everything perfectly correct. But if we take a little time to actually THINK before we act or speak, we are not only thinking about ourselves but also remembering that HOW we approach situations effects others too. Your imperfections don’t define you. It’s how you handle them that makes you human.

Posted on by Stephanie's Corner

An Open Letter To All Men Everywhere

Dear Men,

 

It seems that the guys who play in the NFL, once again proof just how dumb you guys can be when it comes to picking women.   But before I go ahead and rant on that, let me let every single guy, including every single athlete know something: Cameras are everywhere!  If you are going to make a decision that in the end, gets you into trouble either with the law, your job, your wife, your girlfriend, etc, just know that someone already has it on camera.  Technology has developed cell phones with awesome cameras. It also has developed awesome surveillance systems in hotels, malls, bars, clubs, stores, and just about everywhere, where you can go and be seen.

Now onto talking about women.  Stop letting your penis make your decisions when it comes to women. There’s such a thing as listening to your gut, or your intuition.  That’s why these dating apps are destroying people, because when you meet people via dating apps, you go by what they are saying about themselves and, most people lie in their dating profiles. Secondly, just because a woman “looks” hot doesn’t mean she has good intentions and a beautiful soul.  Stop judging women by their looks. It can be said to women who do the same thing when it comes to men, but women choose a man differently than a man, chooses a woman. Women are more prone to give a guy who isn’t “hot” a chance, because he has better features than just his looks. Whereas a man, goes straight for the hot chick just to impress his friends, or make people jealous, or because he thinks she will be his arm candy, and they will standout.

Thirdly, Keep your hands to yourself – pushing, kicking, slapping a woman is unacceptable. Now, women need to be called out on this as well, because it’s not right to go ahead and smack a man for ANY reason UNLESS he hit you first and it’s self-defense. In the movies you see women throwing shoes, purses, and even throwing water in a man’s face after she finds out he’s cheating or doing something that gets him into trouble. That’s also unacceptable.

No means no.  Let me repeat that for all the men out there: No means No.  If she doesn’t want to sleep with you, doesn’t want to hook up, doesn’t want to hook up with your friends, doesn’t want to do anything, no means no.  How ever the rest goes down, even if she calls you the worst name in the book, you stay the bigger person and WALK AWAY! Don’t let your emotions get the best of you.

This is for all the athletes: STOP getting involved with women you meet at clubs or parties. NOTHING good can come from it.  Also stop getting involved with groupies that hang out in the SAME hotel as you!  Trust me when I say that women who do this, do this for a reason- they know that you got fame, money, power, whatever else, and that is the ONLY reason they are there!  Again, she could be “hot” but don’t let your penis make that decision to have her go up to your hotel room.  Next thing you know, you fall asleep and she posted pictures of you together all over social media!  Also, if she gets pregnant, you are now going to be paying her child support for the next 18 years!

THINK before you act.

Go for a woman who doesn’t care what you do for a living and treats you like she would treat any guy she would meet. Go for a woman who supports your ups and your downs.

Sparks are great. But investigate. Be attracted to her mentally, emotionally not just physically.  Go for a woman who can be excited about your success and goals in life is someone who won’t hold you back for one reason or another.  If she wants to change you in any way, and they she is not accepting you for who you are, that is a sign of a controlling person and she will never treat you properly.  Finally, pick a woman who can  bring out the best in you and who can maintain her own identity.   Those are the women who you should choose, and if you notice I never said anything about looks or sex.

Stop letting your penis make the decisions for you. Use your heart and your mind to help you pick the best partner for you- not just a one night stand or a “maybe” girlfriend. But  a person who you see yourself with forever.